Category Archives: Word

Influence of our Tongue


The tongue is influential weapon and its ammunition is the words we articulate. Our words are so authoritative that they can consecrate or curse, give confidence or dishearten, injure or mend, shred apart or construct. Our words can even persuade the way we act and feel as well as determination our mind-set and attitude on life in impacting our viewpoint. Our viewpoint then will effect out action and lifestyle. Our thoughts control our will which relates to daily life from the inside out.

The power of influence can change individuals. There is a big effect of our words on the people around us and also will cause action individually. Therefore we should be very careful with the influence of our words, calculate your thoughts and carefully listen to every syllable to what we are saying. Why? When we shâma` we are listening and in word pictures it is directly connected to obedience. In the west we hear something process the thought and it does not directly correlate with action.

In Hebrew language In ancient Hebrew, like in Chinese and ancient Egyptian, every word is formed by adding pictures together to "paint" or illustrate the meaning of the word. A word picture is a word that is described by pictures.

You don’t have to be able to read Hebrew in order to understand and to use this effectively when you read the Bible. When Hebrew was first written, each letter represented both a sound and a picture. Even if you or the people you teach are not familiar with the Hebrew sounds and have no experience with this language, the pictures you see inside the words will speak for themselves.

Why is Hebrew Word Pictures are important to believers?

"Every so often, something comes along that can help move your spiritual life into high gear. I’m convinced that "Hebrew Word Pictures" is such a concept. With so many books and conference about biblical principles, this one can help you better understand and love God’s Word itself.

As someone who’s studied "word pictures" for years, seeing them come alive in the very letters of Scripture is like adding color to a classic movie. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in gaining a deeper love and understanding of the Scriptures.

shâma` – ‘hear, heed, understand & obey’

If you constantly complain, you release poison into your life. Complaining is not based on your circumstances; it’s based on the attitude of your heart. If you will keep the right attitude during your time of adversity, God will honor you. When you truly trust God there are times you will have unanswered questions – don’t let that keep you from fulfilling your destiny. When you have a heart full of gratitude, it leaves no room for complaining. You can always find something to thank God for, no matter what kind of adversity you may face in life. So decide today to live a life of thanksgiving!

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put devious lips far from you." (Proverbs 4:23-24)

Let us encourage you today to watch what you are saying. Your words have creative power and you can use them as a destructive force or as an instrument of blessing. If you continually speak negative words over your life, then eventual defeat will be the result. In the same way, if you speak words of faith and victory, you will see a harvest of blessing not only in your own life, but also in the lives of those around you.


Your words have the power to pollute or purify.

Proverbs 18:21 – Power of the tongue.

A. The tongue has the power to kill or the power to give life

B. “…they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” – They that love using the tongue shall eat the fruit thereof. In other words, they shall reap the rewards of the use of it, whether good or bad.

James 3:2 – 8 – Control of the tongue.

A. Verse 2 informs us that if we are able to control our tongue, we have reached some level of spiritual maturity.

B. It says we have achieved a level of spiritual maturity where we can control the rest of our body if we can control our tongue.

C. In Verses 3 & 4 we are given 2 examples of large things that are controlled by small things.

D. Verse 5 compares the tongue to the horse’s bridle and the ship’s helm (the ship’s steering mechanism).

E. Verse 6 explains the danger of a loose tongue. Expound…

F. Verse 7 explains that the tongue is harder to tame than wild beasts.

G. Verse 8 explains the evil nature of the tongue, the dangerous poison it spews out, and the inability of anyone to tame it. Only the one using it can control it.

James 3:9 – 12 – Inconsistencies of the tongue.

A. Here we see the often inconsistencies of the use of the tongue.

B. We’re reminded of the absurdity of such inconsistencies.

Matthew 12:34 – 37 – Connection between the tongue and the heart.

A. Here we are shown the connection between the heart and the tongue.

B. Basically, the tongue is connected to the heart, in a manner of speaking.

C. The words of the tongue are and extension of what resides in the heart.

D. Verse 34b makes it clear that the tongue expresses the heart’s content.

E. Verse 35 explains that the spiritual condition of the heart is evidenced by the words of the tongue.

F. Verse 36 informs us just how responsible we are for the words we wield.

G. Verse 37 makes it clear that justification or condemnation rest in the words we speak.

· If then, we our words wield these kinds of power toward others and in the judgment we are judged with, it stands to reason we need to understand how to use our tongues in a way that is acceptable to God.

Ephesians 4:24 & 25 – Speak the truth.

A. We must speak the truth.

B. We can lie so much we begin to convince ourselves our lies are true.

C. But, God is not deceived. He knows what is true, whether we will acknowledge it or not; and He will judge us according to truth, not according to what we present as truth.

Ephesians 4:29 – Corrupt use of the tongue.

A. Here, we are instructed to guard ourselves to keep corrupt words from coming out our mouths.

B. Corrupt words can be words that are vulgar, cursing, or damaging.

C. Notice, we are only to speak those things that minister grace to those who will be hearing our words.

D. Do you speak words that minister grace to those you speak to or about? Or, do you just ‘say what’s on your mind’ and consider what you have said later?

Proverbs 31:26 – Use kindness with the tongue.

A. Here, in the Biblical picture of what we call the perfect woman, I believe we see a type of the church in the state God intends it to be.

B. First, our mouths should express wisdom.

C. In James 3:14 – 16 we see described, a picture of earthly, sensual, devilish wisdom.

D. But, in James 3:17 we see a description of wisdom that is spiritual, from above.

E. Where the tongue is expressing the characteristics in Verses 14 – 16 we know the heart is filled with devilish content.

F. If the tongue is expressing the characteristics listed in Verse 17, we know the heart is spiritual.

G. Back in Proverbs 31:26, it also says “…in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

H. The law of kindness means that the mode of operation of her speech is consistently kind.

I. Ephesians 4:32a says to “…be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”

J. Words of kindness are not optional to the Christian; neither are they contingent upon deservedness.

K. Matthew 5:44 & 45 explain we are to “…bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

L. Our words are to be kind, blessing words; words of prayer, even when we are being rewarded with treachery and mischief.

Psalm 12:2 – 3 – Manipulation using the tongue.

A. Flattery and double-hearted deception will be met with the harsh judgment of God. They will be cut off, destroyed.

B. Verse 3b – 4 explains that those who think they shall prevail by manipulating the people in their lives with their skillful, but deceptive use of words.

C. These are proud, thinking themselves more intelligent than those they are attempting to manipulate.

D. Here, though, God makes it clear He will destroy them.

E. In their pride, they have not taken God into consideration.

James 2:12 & 13 – Use mercy when speaking.

A. We are to speak mercifully.

B. We will be judged according to the same degree we speak and show mercy.

James 2:14 – 18 – Vain use of the tongue.

A. Here we are warned of the futility of empty words.

B. Words without corresponding action to confirm their validity are empty and profitless.

Ephesians 5:1 – 2a & 3 – 4 – Using the tongue for foolishness.

A. We are to refrain from foolish or jesting words.

B. Foolish talking and jesting would include speaking vainly of things pertaining to God and His Word.

C. They would also include things that are indecent (filthiness).

D. They would also include jokes or jests that make fun of or demean others – such as ethnic, or racial jokes, or jokes about someone else’s appearance or intelligence.

E. These would also include words that would incite the flesh to sin.

Ephesians 5:4b & 19 – 20 – Spiritual content of the tongue.

A. We should speak words thanking the Lord.

B. We should speak words that invoke spiritual thoughts and heart yearnings.

Titus 2:7 & 8 – Careful words that need not be retracted or apologized for later.

A. We ought always to be careful to speak words that cannot be condemned; words we will not have to be sorry for saying or have to justify later.

Colossians 4:6 – Use consistent grace in speaking.

A. With grace – always speaking things that reflect the grace God has extended to you.

B. Seasoned with salt – words that, like salt, tend to preserve the one it is applied to; and words that provide a good flavor to the person or subject being addressed.

C. Our speech must “…always…” be like this. It should never be inconsistent.

D. We must remember that good, honest, pure words can quickly be nullified by destructive words.

E. Ephesians 4:29 – Therefore, our words should consistently be those that minister grace to the hearer.

Galatians 5:13 – 16 – Walking in the Spirit allows control of the tongue.

A. Verse 15 – If we bite and devour one another with the use of our tongues, we must understand that the result will be that we destroy each other.

B. This ‘biting’ and ‘devouring’ warned against is that of biting or devouring one another.

C. It is not strange, but rather to be expected that attacks will come from without, from wolves; but it is unnatural for sheep to attack each other.

D. It has been said that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded.

E. Ephesians 4:1 – 6 – The unity of the church is quickly destroyed by contentious or malicious words.

F. Mark 3:25 – Divisive destructive words wil

l destroy the effectiveness of a church and sometimes even the very church itself.

G. Verse 16 – The key to controlling the tongue and using it for the right purposes is to walk in the Spirit.

H. Proverbs 13:10 – A fleshly or carnally minded person will speak in pride, demanding his way, and this will always generate contention.

I. One who walks in the Spirit, on the other hand, will always seek the good of his brother instead of his own will; and will therefore speak only those things that edify his brother.

J. Verse 25 – Here we find that we can live in the Spirit and yet not walk in the Spirit. So, our salvation should be validated by our corresponding manner of life, particularly the way we use our tongues.

Ephesians 5:11 & 12 – Use the tongue to reprove wickedness.

A. We are not to participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, either by our involvement in them, or by our discussion of them.

B. Instead, we are to use our tongues to reprove, or confront them concerning their wickedness.

C. We should not let our silence give the appearance that we approve of evil.

D. The only way to keep this from happening is to speak against it.

E. This will not make us popular, for those who commit wickedness do not like to be challenged in it.

Romans 10:13, 14, & 16 – We must speak the gospel in order for people to be saved.

A. Verse 13 makes it clear that calling on the name of the Lord is how we are saved.

B. Verse 14 explains by the questions it asks that we cannot call on Someone we have never heard of.

C. Verse 16 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God.

D. Lifestyle evangelism is great but the message of the gospel must be heard in order for someone to believe and receive it.



Counseling with the Mind of Christ


I Corinthians 2:16 "For “who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.”

Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Philippians 2:5-8 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”

In order to have the mind of Christ, we are going to have to present ourselves to God for a transforming of our very carnal minds. What is the ‘Christ Mind’ … surely it must be the consciousness (the mind) in which Jesus functioned … in which he ‘walked’. ‘He that hath seen me … hath seen the Father’ … ‘I and my father are one’, he said. He knew that He and God … ‘His source’, were One … One and the same. So … HE ‘WALKED’ AS GOD … in God consciousness. He dwelt in the ‘Kingdom’ of God… in the consciousness of being God!

In Phillipians 2:5, the apostle Paul said, ‘let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. In Mathew 6:33 Jesus said, ‘seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you’. He was not talking about a place … he was talking about a State of Mind! The ‘kingdom of God’ … IS A STATE OF MIND … the CHRIST MIND! We have been told that it is within us (the Kingdom of God), but we have never been told that it is a state of mind When we realize that we are One with our Source … that each of us is the Source manifesting … we begin to take upon ourselves the likeness of our Source. That likeness, is the CHRIST. To function in that consciousness… AS THE SOURCE… is to function in the Mind of Christ  !

Biblical counseling seeks to lead the believer to the end of his strength – regardless of how productive (or nonproductive) such "strength" may have proven to be – and into the certainty of Christ’s strength through him! The Holy Spirit, often through the school of adversity, always works against the believer’s dependency upon the flesh. Ultimately his flesh becomes nonproductive by Supernatural design at which time many seek counseling.

The counselor who uses techniques generated by unregenerate minds to help such a believer cut his losses is actually interrupting God’s process of bringing that Christian to the end of his personal resources. The more "skilled" and "effective" the counselor, the more he sets God back to square one, having to begin the breaking process all over again.

But what is biblical counseling and what distinguishes it from other counseling approaches?

What is the goal of counseling?
The goal of counseling will often vary, and experienced counselors will tailor their approaches to their clients’ needs.

What is the goal of secular counseling?
Secular counseling is grounded in humanism, and most often seeks to help a person adjust to difficult circumstances. The processes may include client education, behavioral techniques, and cognitive restructuring (changing one’s thoughts), just to name a few. But the end goal will most likely be some type of adaptation that provides surface problem or symptom relief.

What is the goal of Christian counseling?
Christian counseling is grounded in the Bible, and most often seeks to help a person embrace the pain of his experience through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The motivation will be different than secular counseling. For example, a Christian counselor’s goal is to use the Word of God to being healing and deliverance (Psalm 107:20. The Word of God is the Rational Expression of God which itself has creative power and is God’s medium of communication with the human race. John1:1–14, the creative word of God, which is itself God and incarnate in Jesus.

Theos: Which transcribes to "God" in Greek

Logos: Which transcribes "The Word: Rational Process of Thought" in Greek

Counseling with God’s Rational Process of Thought which is Mind of God causes a "rational change of mind" and a process of internal change.  The Logos renewing the mind will be a greater knowledge and enjoyment of God not based on circumstances.

First, what is

NOT necessarily biblical counseling?

1. Simply attaching the word Christian to the counseling approach does not make it biblical. Much counseling that draws on psychological and therapeutic concepts is presented as Christian when in fact it is Christian in name only.

2. A Bible perched on the counselor’s desk corner or on an end table doesn’t mean the counsel being given conforms to the Scriptures.

3. Just because the counselor is a born-again Christian or even a Pastor does not mean his counsel is biblical. He may have been trained in any of a myriad of popular counseling systems that are not derived from Scripture, but rather from secular sources.

4. Using Bible verses to support the coun

sel being given does not mean the counsel is biblical. A Bible passage can be taken out of context and misused to support something the Bible simply does not say.

5. A simplistic dispensing of Bible verses and prescribing prayer is not biblical counseling.

6. A kind, loving, accepting stance on the part of the counselor should not be interpreted as necessarily biblical counseling. It may be reflecting a non-directive counseling methodology that helps the counselee feel better but doesn’t solve the problem God’s way.


How do you spot the real thing? The following will help you identify counseling that is truly biblical.

1. The counselor functions on the presupposition that Scripture is God’s inspired, inerrant, and sufficient Word. He views the Bible as the textbook for everything pertaining to life and godliness (II Timothy 3:16-17; II Peter 1:3-4).

2. The counselor knows there is always hope for change based on God’s promises and power in Jesus Christ (I Corinthians 10:13; Ephesians 3:20).

3. Appropriate portions of Scripture are investigated and discussed to shed God’s light on the problem. (E.g. – marriage problems: see Genesis 2; Ephesians 5; I Peter 3).

4. Biblical directives derived from these passages are applied to the problem. Practical ways of implementing those directives are assigned to help put off sinful thinking and behavior and put on godly thinking and behavior (Ephesians 4:22-24).

5. The counseling process includes the need for regeneration (John 3:3), the recognition of the sinful propensities of the heart (Jeremiah 17:9), the human capacity of habit (I Timothy 4:7), the importance of motivation and thought as well as behavior (Romans 12:2; I Corinthians 4:5), the individual’s responsibility before God to obedience (I John 5:3), and the sufficiency of God’s grace for every life problem (I Corinthians 10:13; II Corinthians 12:9).

6. Biblical counseling emphasizes a God-centered approach to solving problems. The goal is first to be concerned about pleasing God. Deliverance from the problem is secondary to seeing God in the problem and at work in the person’s life (Romans 8:28-29).

7. Biblical counseling is a ministry of the local church. The local church is God’s ordained agency to help His people grow and change into the likeness of Christ. In fact, while church leaders are especially responsible (Hebrews 13:17), God has called ALL believers to counsel one another to some degree (Romans 15:4).

Proverbs 14:12 says there is a way that seems right to men, but it ends in death.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free:



Conscious Compassion

Conscious Compassion

The engine is fact (God and His Word) and the fuel car is our faith. We should place our trust (the fuel) in God and His Word (the engine). The passenger car is feeling. It would be foolish to place our trust (fuel) in our feelings (the passenger car) … the train will not run! In the same way, we should not depend on feelings or emotions.

The bible teaches in Luke 6:31: as you would others do to you, do you even so to them:

The difference between sympathy and empathy is significant to the Christian walk.

SYMPATHY says in words: “Boy, I’d really hate to be in that man’s shoes.”

EMPATHY says; “I have imagined what it must be like in that man’s shoes, and what I’d want someone to do for me if I were in that condition, I will do now for that man.”

Empathy places itself in another person’s shoes, and from that perspective realizes both the feelings and the need, then says: “I’m responding.”

Jesus words: “Do unto others as you would they do to you,” covers every aspect of life. In Matthew 25:32-46 Jesus said: Freed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Take in the stranger, (homeless). The hungry, naked, and homeless need not only food, clothing and shelter. They need some one to help them learn a skill, get a Job and become responsible. If they are a Drug addict or alcoholic, help them find an agency the deals with deliverance from whatever pathology they have. Care for another human being as if they were your parent or sibling. Have that conscious compassion.

Empathy must also place itself in the shoes of the infirmed. They are lonely and need visits. Helpless and need a hand accomplishing things. They may need other support and help to go to agencies and fill out forms to acquire aid.

ANYONE can repent of past conduct, and begin a new life, and be trusted as if they never did any wrong.

What are we as Christians going to do that have to answer to the lord for each act and word toward the hungry, naked, homeless, sick, and prisoners. When Jesus said: when you done it unto them, you have done it unto me, ENTER INTO KINGDOM OF GOD.
We must think Jesus, who is God, was mistaken when he said: When you failed to do it unto the least of these my brethren, you did it not me. BE CAST INTO EVERLASTING FIRE!

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. If it was the love of God that led us to repentance. Do not allow your love to grow cold.

Empathy will open up and earn the right to confront an individual.

Psychologists call it empathy, the rare capacity to put ourselves into the shoes of our partner and accurately see life from his or her perspective.

Empathy combines two important capacities: to analyze and to sympathize, to use our heads and to use our hearts. Our analytical capacities involve collecting facts and observing conditions. We look at a problem, we break it down into its causes, and we propose solutions. That’s analyzing. Sympathizing is feeling for another person. It is feeling the pain of someone who is suffering or feeling the anger of a person in rage. Analyzing and sympathizing are the twin engines of empathy. One without the other is fine, but their true power is found in combination. We need to love with both our head and our heart to empathize.

While the word “empathy” is never used in the Bible, it is, in a sense, what the whole Gospel message is about. The apostle Paul encouraged empathy in Hebrews when he said: “Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering” (Hebrews 13:3). He also said, “We who are not strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1).

Sympathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person’s bad news or feelings, feeling sorry for the person suffering the bad news/feelings, and whether the sympathizer agrees with any of the person’s beliefs, opinions, or goals whereas empathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person’s bad and good news or feelings and understanding the bad or good news/feelings rather than feeling sorry for the person’s bad news/feelings or agreeing or disagreeing with the person’s beliefs, opinions, or goals.

Sympathy emphasizes sharing distressing feelings whereas empathy does not emphasize any particular type of feeling. The listener using empathy shares (experiences) whatever feelings the talker is expressing at the moment, regardless of whether the feelings are distressing (grief, for example) or pleasant (love, for example).

Sympathy may also involve agreeing with some aspects of the other person’s feelings, beliefs, etc. whereas empathy emphasizes understanding all of them with no interest in either agreeing or disagreeing.

The person using empathy tunes into the entire inner world of the other person whereas the person using sympathy typically tune

s into only those aspects with which he agrees.

The listener using empathy usually responds more comprehensively to the talker as compared with the listener using sympathy.

At this point you may be thinking: So far you have discussed sympathizing and empathizing with a person’s feelings or beliefs. What about other aspects of a person such as values or goals? I will answer this question by introducing the concept of a person’s inner psychological world, which I will divide into two parts–“the heart part” and “the head part.”

The heart part consists of feelings.

The head part consists of beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, opinions, values, memories, wishes, goals, etc. I have grouped all of the head part components under the label of “beliefs” in order to simplify my comparison.

Both sympathy and empathy involve “tuning in” to (“entering”) the other person’s inner world. After tuning in, the person using empathy temporarily becomes that person in a limited way (“identifies with”), for example, the grieving and loving son; this does not usually happen for the person using sympathy.

Empathy is closely related to the concept of sympathy. We cannot examine empathy without examining sympathy because their meanings are similar and their usage overlaps somewhat. The concept of empathy is a fairly new one, while the idea of sympathy has been around much longer. Empathy has evolved over the past century from its first usage as necessary to aesthetic experience to the idea that it is a fundamental part of human nature and necessary for psychological well-being. This essay will elaborate on how the concept of empathy evolved from the concept of sympathy to include understanding of a person or object, and how the modern usage of empathy is important in our understanding of the human condition.

In psychotherapy, the writings of such theorists as Rogers and Kelly have led to a widespread acceptance among therapists generally of a view of understanding as ’empathy’. Rogers in particular stresses the therapeutic importance of the therapist’s understanding the patient from the patient’s perspective. In order to grasp the meaning for him of the patient’s experience, the therapist has to put himself in the patient’s shoes, to try his level best to see the world from where the patient sees it. Rather than the patient having to learn the therapist’s language and theoretical system, the therapist has to learn the patient’s. In this, he has to attend not so much to the patient’s words, as to their meaning for the patient.

Feelings, Empathy & Decision Making

What is an emotion? Emotion is usually considered to be a feeling about or reaction to certain important events or thoughts. Feelings can be either pleasant or unpleasant.

Many of us are familiar with the train diagram (in the “Four Spiritual Laws” booklet) to illustrate the principle “Do not depend on feelings.”

The engine is fact (God and His Word) and the fuel car is our faith. We should place our trust (the fuel) in God and His Word (the engine). The passenger car is feeling. It would be foolish to place our trust (fuel) in our feelings (the passenger car) … the train will not run! In the same way, we should not depend on feelings or emotions.

Moreover, feelings are undependable. The same event may generate different feelings in different people; how then should we interpret the event and the feelings that follow? Even the same feelings can mean different things to different people.

Some have misunderstood “do not depend on feelings” to mean “deny your feelings.” There is nothing wrong with feelings per se. Emotions filled the Psalms. Jesus wept (John 11:35-36). Eph. 4:26 acknowledges anger as a valid emotion; it doesn’t say, “Don’t be angry because anger is a sin.” The issue is what you do when you are angry. When an argument between my boys gets heated up, I told them, “I understand that you are angry but you cannot show your anger by hitting or name-calling.” We can be human and Christian at the same time.

I’m a Christian, I’m a man, a man with feelings,
Yet sometimes I’m afraid to own my feelings.

Then God said to me:
I’ve made man so be free to be human
be free to own your feelings
but do not deny me.

The above is an excerpt of “A Conversation with God” which I wrote in 1978.

In Matt. 26:38-39, Jesus gave us an excellent example of acknowledging His feelings when He said, “Remove this cup from Me.” This was Jesus’ honest request not to go through with the crucifixion. Jesus knew that He was facing not only the agony of crucifixion but also the trauma of taking on the sins of the world (upon His sinless self) and being separated from the Father. At the same time, Jesus did not deny the Father. He said, “Thy will be done …” (Matt. 26:42).

John R.W. Stott wrote on page 120 of The Contemporary Christian,

“I learned to my astonishment that God, whose ‘impassibility’ I thought meant that he was incapable of emotion, speaks (though in human terms) of his burning anger and vulnerable love.

I discovered too that Jesus of Nazareth, the perfect human being, was no tight-lipped, unemotional ascetic. On the contrary, I read that he turned on hypocrites with anger, looked on a rich young ruler and loved him, could both rejoice in spirit and sweat drops of blood in spiritual agony, was constantly moved with compassion, and even burst into tears twice in public.

From all this evidence it is plain that our emotions are not to be suppressed, since they have an essential place in our humanness and therefore in our Christian discipleship.”

People are sometimes not fully aware of their own emotions. To acknowledge their feelings and control their behavior?

  1. Teach them “feeling words” (e.g., happy, sad, bored, angry, hurting, frustrated).

    A good way to verbalize feelings is to say “I feel _______ (emotion) because _______ (reason).”

    An individual who is in touch with his own emotions and struggles can better take the other perspective to empathize with others (c.f. Heb. 4:15-16). Developing emphatic reactions to other people’s feelings contributes to morality in that when a person feels someone’s joys and pain, he winds up feeling good when he makes them feel good and feeling bad when he hurts them.

  2. Allow our individuals to express their feelings in acceptable ways.

    When a person is frustrated, it is natural to cry. To command him to stop crying is to deny his humanity. We can acknowledge the individuals feelings by saying, “I understand that you are _______ (emotion) because _______ (reason).” Depending on the nature of the problem, you may want to be supportive and encouraging or be firm to get the individual to change his behavior.

  3. How do I know another is emotionally mature? There are no firm standards of emotional maturity such as there are for physical development. “Balance” is a key word. If your child is able to take control of his feelings then he is doing fine. Emotional maturity comes with the passage of time and is based on experience in handling setbacks in life.
  4. Suggest what to do about the situation that has upset them.

    Individuals can be motivated by reason, also subject to passions, desires and other emotions that can motivate them strongly and sometimes in the opposite direction.

    In decision making, we must be able to distinguish between what is really good for us and what seems good for us. Making this distinction is a matter of clear, rational and biblical thinking that is able to weigh the alternatives. It is at this point that emotions may dominate and rational thoughts go out the window! Therefore, it is important to establish principles beforehand as to what to do when caught in that situation.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center