Our Story : Grace Compass Church

 

The story behind, Grace Compass Church is that it is  a place for ‘real’ people on a journey to come, discover, experience, and live out an incredible faith together through Grace. Reproducing radical followers that will leave the mark of Christ wherever they are living, working, and ministering are the ultimate purpose our authentic Biblical Community. Jesus Answered Life’s greatest questions with two simple profound Faith Goals: Love God with all your heart and love others as yourself. It is our relationship with God and our relationship with others that bring identity, meaning and purpose to our life.

CLICK BOX TO WATCH WHY?

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Why A New Church?

Church planting is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and a necessary method for reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are focused on reaching the un-churched.  People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people.  New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success.

Core Values

Values Form the Way and How We Live Life Our Values influences and guides how we live together at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our life together. Our Values shape our Character which is directly linked to what we believe. Values reflect what we will do at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our life together.

   Grace-wholeness: We will equip people to know who they are in Christ, their new identity In Christ; How to remove their masks of who they think they are outside of Christ and the importance of yielding to the overflowing life of Christ which will overflow from their new lives in to others in their community. Becoming such a whole person is accomplished only through the grace of God.

   Relevance: We will engage today’s culture in its context with significance without selling out or  watering down the Gospel of Grace. We will live our lives out to bring the gospel in visible form to lost people all around us. We will be part of a global network that makes a kingdom impact.

   Authentic Relationships: We will pursue being real and transparent with each other, so that we can encourage, celebrate, grow, hold accountable and mourn as a family

   Compassion: We will love all people like Jesus did and minister to them daily regardless of their social status or spiritual condition. We will grow together in Incarnate Living which is the out  of the  life of Jesus by the power of the Spirit.

    Eternal Truth: We will learn and apply the truth of Scripture to all of our life, avoiding the temptation to replace its truth for the best ideas of people.

Our Mission

Grace Compass Church will be used by God to design, launch, and grow numerous high impact churches through collaboration. Collaboration is the act of united labor to serve our city with the Gospel of Grace.

These churches working in collaboration will be used as a catalyst to launch and reproduce church planters which will impact the entire southeast area of the USA, as well as minister to people groups in many other parts of our world. Grace Compass Church is committed to MULTIPLICATION of disciples and missional servant leaders who will build people who become the church.

Core Beliefs: Church Planting Is

Our Purpose: The nature of God is multiplication and reproduction.

Our Calling: The church as the Body of Christ is called to multiply.

Our Effectiveness: Church planting is the most effective form of Evangelism.

Biblical: Church planting is the biblical strategy for increasing the Kingdom.

Central: The local church is the center from which evangelism and ministry spread.

Right: It’s and investment in the only thing Jesus said He would build – the church.

America needs God and never before has the climate for evangelism and church planting been riper for America! Three generations influenced by secular humanism have created a spiritual vacuum and over 195 million unchurched people – who are searching for hope, meaning, security, and significance. Now is the time to plant more and better churches! Historically, church planting is proven to be the most effective form of evangelism.

 

Our Strategy

The strategy of “Grace Compass Church” will be accomplished by establishing “environments” that will be implemented through the missional community groups of the church. These missional groups will create numerous ministries and community outreach which will flow from their desires which God will birth uniquely in each individual of every missional group.

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Grace Compass Church …‘real’ people on a journey

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Founding Pastor: Teddy Awad

Spiritual Gifts: Entrepreneurial Spirit, Visionary Leadership, Strategic Thinking, Evangelism, Faith, Communication

Family: Wife Mary and one Child … Tiffany–8

Teddy and Mary Awad have been married for 10 years, and have spent the last 15 years in ministry, the last four years on staff with a Young Adult Crisis Hotline.

Please Watch Our YouTube Video:

What to expect if I Visit Grace Compass Church?

About the Tampa Bay Area

· Spiritually open people who are ready to respond to God when His gospel is presented through an authentic and culturally relevant community of faith. Florida has an average church attendance percentage (15.1%) lower than the national average (18.7%).

· Growing population of over 4 million people with 9% growth in population expected annually. This county has the Youngest demographic in Florida (18-40 years old) nearly 42% of Tampa Bay’s population is in the highly desirable target 18-40 age group.

We believe that we have been called by God to seek and build people who will become the church because it is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and the best method for achieving the common objective of reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are formed around impacting entire communities and reaching the un-churched versus an emphasis of taking care of existing members in established churches. To accomplish our vision we have joined with Converge Southeast.

The focus of Converge Southeast is starting new and healthy churches throughout the region.

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WHY START CHURCHES IN NORTH AMERICA?

· North America is the only continent where the church is not growing.

· Church planting is the most effective way to reach the un-reached and unchurched.

· In North America New churches grow faster than established churches.

· New churches help keep up with population growth.

· New churches are more likely to enlist people in Kingdom Advancement

Why A New Church?

Church planting is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and a necessary method for reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are focused on reaching the un-churched. People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people. New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success.

Grace Compass Church will be a seeker-targeted, church “with an edge” targeting young Gen X families (“20-30 somethings”) and post-moderns who live in the Greater Tampa Bay. It will probably be located in a school, Business Park, or community center and then eventually a building that will have a worship and recreation center containing numerous classrooms for the Bible institute, skate-park, performing arts center that bands can rent, dance groups and other artists can use in the Community. The church will reproduce by year five, and have as its goal the potential to start other churches.

Vision:

Grace Compass Church will be a place for ‘real’ people on a journey together discovering, experiencing, and living out an incredible faith together through Grace.

Mission:

Grace Compass Church will be used by God to design, launch, and grow numerous high impact churches over a five year period through collaboration. These churches will in turn reproduce within this five year period, and be used as a catalyst to launch and reproduce church planters which will impact the entire southeast area of the USA, as well as minister to people groups in many other parts of our world. Grace Compass Church is committed to MULTIPLICATION of disciples and missional servant leaders who will build people who become the church. Church Planting, never before has the climate for evangelism and church planting been riper for America!  People are searching for hope, meaning, security, and significance.  Now is the time to plant more and better churches!  Historically, church planting is proven to be the most effective form of evangelism.

Core Values:

Our Values influences and guides how we live together at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our life together. Our Values shape our Character which is directly linked to what we believe.

G race-wholeness:

We will equip people to know who they are in Christ, their new identity In Christ; How to remove their masks of who they think they are outside of Christ and the importance of yielding to the overflowing life of Christ which will overflow from their new lives in to others in their community. Becoming such a whole person is accomplished only through the grace of God.

R elevance:

We will engage today’s culture in its context with significance without selling out or  watering down the Gospel of Grace. We will live our lives out to bring the gospel in visible form to lost people all around us. We will be part of a global network that makes a kingdom impact.

A uthentic Relationships:

We will pursue being real and transparent with each other, so that we can encourage, celebrate, grow, hold accountable and mourn as a family

C ompassion:

We will love all people like Jesus did and minister to them daily

regardless of their social status or spiritual condition. We will grow together in Incarnate Living which is the out  of the  life of Jesus by the power of the Spirit.

E ternal Truth:

We will learn and apply the truth of Scripture to all of our life, avoiding the temptation to replace its truth for the best ideas of people.

Strategy:

The strategy of “Compass” will be accomplished by establishing “environments” that will be implemented through the missional community groups of the church. These missional groups will create numerous ministries and community outreach which will flow from their desires which God will birth uniquely in each individual of every missional group.

Reproducing disciples and individuals that will leave the mark of the Gospel of Grace wherever they are living, working, and ministering is the ultimate purpose of a Church Launch that is patterned after the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

We intentionally want to help people transform their city and live a life of significance in Christ. The Church is not only a once WEEK event on Sunday but an everyday learning the Habits of Christ from God’s Word and the working of the Holy Spirit in a organic missional community groups. The Sunday Church service will be a celebration of our King and Master Jesus Christ. When we celebrate our King Jesus, we will sing and celebrate the highest of Worship listening actively to God’s Word of Life. The celebration of Grace will be an opportunity reach the un-churched and non Christ–Follower’s seeking for answers of life’s important questions. The main emphasis of Church on Sunday will be to connect individuals to the life of Christ and encourage the next steps of Discipleship with intentional personal development of a Christly Life.

By These Environments?

· Grace Environment: Jesus is the “Living Water of Grace” that quenches our spiritual thirst and transfigures our life from within. Hearing the Word causes our faith to grow in grace as we are transfigured internally to the image of the one whom we are called to follow Christ. GRACE is not merely “unmerited favor” that causes new birth which it is; Grace also is our living mentor who tutors us all in the character and nature of Who God is, what He has done, and what God is doing now. We want to plant this church to take a Stand for the Gospel of Grace and welcome those who have been wounded and hurt by the universal churches image problem.

· Growth Environment: Holy Spirit spreads the message of Jesus through us to others as we share our individual and collective lives with them through God’s Word’s of Life. Our missional spirit as a church, and our commitment to reach out and to share the message of Christ in concrete contemporary ways to all corners of the world will be our Collective purpose that Glorifies God our Father. This is done through missional community groups that will make learning fun and life transforming. This process of transferring rudimentary head knowledge to spiritual formation is the work of the Holy Spirit not the work of Clergy or other believers.

· Spiritual Formation Environment: It takes time for meaningful progress and a safe place where you can practically process what you are learning in your daily life with God’s people. The environment must be safe from evaluating people on the basis performance and production. Measuring success and failure into spiritual metrics only hinders an individual’s growth. Success in the business world and world system is very different from what God defines as success. The world measures success is by individualism, outward appearance, production, performance, and obvious external results. God works in the invisible and His work is in an individual. The hidden work on the inside will eventually be revealing fruit in God’s timing not by our own effort, production or individual outward works.

· Missional Environment: As God’s creation and we are called to cultivate and reproduce Spiritual life through ministry for God’s glory. At Compass, we believe the church isn’t a place you go to once a week – the church is a people who are a living organism on a glorious mission of proclaiming their King and His Kingdom. We are to be “outward looking” and “others focused” as we live out our living faith in our daily lives. Christ is constantly on mission through our lives to reach out and serve our neighbors, our communities, and our world in relevant ways each and every day with Joy. We serve because of the radical inward work of grace in our lives, and desire that others also experience the revolution of Grace personally.

· Worship Environment: God has placed a passion in our hearts and spirits for worship which is illuminated as we draw closer to Him. Our hearts set ablaze with worship, both corporately and individually, as we continually give ourselves over to Him and draw closer to His glory. To receive all that God is and what His Word teaches radically changes lives and causes internal change that is a result of progressively growing in Grace through worship.

We believe that people matter to God – in fact, they are the pinnacle of His creation. Not only that, but every person was created by God with a need to connect in authentic Missional community with others. We can establish real, encouraging, safe, and honest relationships with one another as we learn to do life together as a redeemed missional community of faith.

Blueprint plan of Vision and Mission Implementation:

This is a flexible blueprint of we will reach out to people, connect with them, and lead them into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. Blueprint of the Implementation of our vision and mission of “Compass” will be as follows…

1. Building relational bridges into the community through our missional community groups inviting individuals to a celebration of Grace on Sundays or to the numerous missional community Groups events of Celebration (Three keys here: Intentionality, Unconditional Love , Acceptance, and “Telling Our Story”)

2. Living out an authentic living faith for others to see (People don’t just want you to tell them about your faith; they want to see evidence of it in the way you live your life – are you for real or a fraud? People do not care how much you know until you show them how much you really care. Has Jesus REALLY radically changed your life and given you a new set of values and desires to live your life by?)

3. Inviting and Gathering an un-churched friend to an authentic service designed for particularly them to observe the Celebration (The key is to have several relevant services and events for different age groups: adult, teen and children’s service). This also allows for the development of new emerging missional leaders and the mentoring of missional community leaders learning and growing effectively in reproducible authentic maturity. Attend, Invite, tutor and serve others!

4. Encountering the Spirit of God and teaching the Word of God through the worship experience (it needs to be real and relevant) making the complex simple and applicable in daily life for everyone, not just for seekers attending. The worship service become the template for the following weeks teachings and discussions at the missional community Groups. Making the content reproducible in daily life and practical application.

5. Making a decision to follow Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord (You shouldn’t have to force or manipulate this – Jesus didn’t! – Just gave them an opportunity to respond to the Gospel when they came and saw) We are only a pencil in the hand of God, God will do the writing on individuals heart if we are only faithful to present Him and invite people to a decision as we celebrate our Master in relationship.

6. Connecting into the life of the church community through Christ honoring relationships, friendships, and spiritual discipleship. The organism of the church the missional community groups is where we do life together corporately and discipleship occurs.

7. Learning how to live like Jesus lived and taught from the Word of God we will develop genuine growth together. Spiritual formation and reproduction of life transformation in others (Mentoring / Teaching / Reproduction)

8. Serving others outside the church (Community Service and servant evangelism thru our Missional DNA and Missional community groups)

9. Loving God as a lifestyle (Worship – it’s not just an event you go to on Sunday, it’s a lifestyle! We will teach people what it means to live the Christian life 24/7)

10. Reproducing other believers and churches

Core Beliefs:

Our Purpose: The nature of God is multiplication and reproduction.

Our Calling: The church as the Body of Christ is called to multiply.

Our Effectiveness: Church planting is the most effective form of Evangelism.

Biblical: Church planting is the biblical strategy for increasing the Kingdom.

Central: The local church is the center from which evangelism and ministry spread.

Right: It’s an investment in the only thing Jesus said He would build – the church.

Statement of Faith

God is the creator and the ruler of the universe. He has eternally existed in three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those three are co-equal with God and are one God.

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is co-equal with the Father. He was born of a virgin and lived a perfect, sinless human life. He offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all people by dying on a cross. He arose from the dead after three days, ascended into heaven, and will return again someday to reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

The Holy Spirit is co-equal with the Father and Son. He is present in the world to make men aware of their need for Jesus Christ. He also lives in every Christian from the moment of Salvation. He provides the believer with power for living, understanding spiritual truth, wisdom, and guidance.

The Bible is God’s Word to us. It was written by human authors under the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is the supreme source of truth for all Christian beliefs and living. Because it is inspired by God, it is the truth without any mixture of error.

Salvation is God’s free gift to us, but we must accept it. We can never make up for our sins by self-improvement or good works. Only by trusting Jesus Christ as God’s offer for forgiveness can anyone be saved from sin’s penalty. When we turn from our self-willed life and turn to Jesus in faith, we are saved. Eternal life begins the moment one receives Jesus Christ into his life by faith.

Eternity – The soul of every human being was created to live forever. We will either exist eternally separated from God by sin, or eternally with God through salvation and forgiveness. Hell is eternal separation from God. Heaven is eternal union with God. Heaven and Hell are real places of eternal existence.

More detailed Statement of faith can be provided.

Sunday Nights @ 5PM

View Grace Compass Church in a larger map

7868 Causeway Blvd South, St. Petersburg, FL 33707

Come as you are, NO Perfect People Allowed!

Casual and comfortable dress

(All Ages Welcome)

For more information Please call us at:

Website: http://www.gracecompasschurch.org/

Email: info@gracecompasschurch.org

727-399-7159

1-877-702-2GOD

Music…Snacks…Fun…Interaction

Please Watch Our YouTube Video:

What to expect if I Visit Grace Compass Church?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbFwu3TBA2w

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Knowing God Personally

What does it take to begin a relationship with God? Wait forlightning to strike? Devote yourself to unselfish religious deeds? Become abetter person so that God will accept you? NONE of these. God has made it very clear in the Bible how we can know Him. This will explain how you can personally begin a relationship with God, right now…

Principle One: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

God created you. Not only that, he loves you so much that he wants you to know him now and spend eternity with him. Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”1

Jesus came so that each of us could know and understand God in a personal way. Jesus alone can bring meaning and purpose to life.

What keeps us from knowing God? …

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Principle Two: All of us sin and our sin has separated us from God.

We sense that separation, that distance from God because of our sin. The Bible tells us that “All of us like sheep have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way.”2

Deep down, our attitude may be one of active rebellion or passive indifference toward God and his ways, but it’s all evidence of what the Bible calls sin.

The result of sin in our lives is death — spiritual

separation from God.3 Although we may try to get

close to God through our own effort, we inevitably fail.

This diagram shows the great gap that exists between us and God. The arrows illustrate how we might try toreach God through our own efforts. We may try to do good things in life, or earn God’s acceptance through a good life or a moral philosophy. But our good efforts are insufficient to cover up our sin.

How can we bridge this gulf?…

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Principle Three: Jesus Christ is  God’s only provision for our sin.


Through him we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our life.

We deserve to pay for our own sin. The problem is, the payment is death. So that we would not have to die separated from God, out of his love for us, Jesus Christ died in our place. On the cross, Jesus took all of our sin on himself and completely, fully paid for it. “For Christ also died for sins…the just for the unjust, so that he might bring us to God.”4 “…he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”5

Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, our sin

doesn’t have to separate us from God any longer.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only

Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not

perish but have eternal life.”6

Jesus not only died for our sin, he rose from the

dead.7 When he did, he proved beyond doubt that

he can rightfully promise eternal life — that he is the

Son of God and the only means by which we can

know God. That is why Jesus said, “I am the way,

the truth and the life; no one can come to the

Father except through me.”8

Instead of trying harder to reach God, he tells us how we can begin a relationship with him right now. Jesus says, “Come to me.” “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me… out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”9 It was Jesus’ love for us that caused him to endure the cross. And he now invites us to come to him, that we might begin a personal relationship with God.

Just knowing what Jesus has done for us and what he is offering us is not enough. To have a relationship with God, we need to welcome him into our life…

Principle Four: We must individually accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.

The Bible says, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”10

We accept Jesus by faith. The Bible says, “God saved you by his special favour when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”11

Accepting Jesus means believing that Jesus is the Son of God, who he claimed to be, then inviting him to guide and direct our lives.12 Jesus said, “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.”13

And here is Jesus’ invitation. He said, “I’m standing at the door and I’m knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.”14

How will you respond to God’s invitation?

Consider these two circles:

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Self-Directed Life

Self is on the throne

Jesus is outside the life

Decisions and actions are solely directed

by self, often resulting in frustration

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Christ-Directed Life

Jesus is in the life and on the throne

Self is yielding to Jesus

The person sees Jesus’ influence and

direction in their life

Which circle best represents your life?

Which circle would you like to have represent your life?Begin a relationship with Jesus… You can receive Christ right now. Remember that Jesus says, “I’m standing at the door and I’m knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.”15 Would you like to respond to his invitation? Here’s how.

The precise words you use to commit yourself to God are not important. He knows the intentions of your heart. If you are unsure of what to pray, this

might help you put it into words:

“Jesus, I want to know you. I want you to come into my life. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be fully accepted by you. Only you can give me the power to change and become the person you created me to be. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me eternal life with God. I give my life to you. Please do with it as you wish. Amen.”

If you sincerely asked Jesus into your life just now, then he has come into your life as he promised. You have begun a personal relationship with God.

What follows is a lifelong journey of change and growth as you get to know God better.

(1) John 3:16(9) John 7:37,38

(2) Isaiah 53:6 (10) John 1:12

(3) Romans 6:23 (11) Ephesians 2:8,9

(4) 1Peter 3:18 (12) John 3:1-8

(5) Titus 3:5 (13) John 10:10

(6) John 3:16 (14) Revelation 3:20

(7) 1 Corinthians 15:3-6 (15) Revelation 3:20

(8) John 14:6

For more information on who God is or what it might be like to know God, please see www.EveryStudent.com. If you want to email a

question, someone will email you back a personal reply.

If you have received Jesus Christ into your life, here is a site to help you grow in your relationship with him, www.StartingwithGod.com. This article is from www.EveryStudent.com

Permission is granted to

photocopy or print.

Spiritual Conversation Killers

I got this article somewhere online and love it. wanted to share it with everyone in church.

 

In April of 2003, National Public Radio aired a story about a standoff between an angry mob of Iraqi Shiites and a heavily armored patrol from the American 101st Airborne Division. Fearing that the soldiers were preparing to desecrate their most holy shrine, hundreds of unarmed civilians pressed in toward the patrol waving their hands and shouting defiantly. Although the patrol’s intentions were peaceful, the standoff would probably have been disastrous if not for the quick thinking of US Lieutenant Colonel Christopher Hughes. Hughes, who was in command that day, picked up a loud speaker and barked out three simple commands to his men; the first was to take a knee, the second was to point their weapons toward the ground, the third and final order was to look up and give everyone in that hostile crowd a friendly smile. Astoundingly, in few brief moments after they obeyed his order, the troops saw the demeanor of the crowd begin to change. Hostility and defiance melted away as shaking fists and screaming voices were replaced with smiles and friendly pats on the back.

Though it may not be immediately apparent, this hopeful story from the war in Iraq has important implications for spiritual conversations in a world that is becoming increasingly hostile towards the traditional kinds of conversations Christians attempt to have. As Ravi Zacharias says, “We must learn to find the backdoor to people’s hearts because the front door is heavily guarded.” Many not-yet Christians react defensively much like the Shiites in the story above when the topic of conversation turns to spiritual matters. They anticipate and are amply prepared for any direct attack on the holy places and sacred shrines of their hearts. The conversations we have rarely penetrate the armor of their hearts because to them it just sounds like, “my worldview is better that your worldview, so let me tell you why I’m right and you’re wrong.” “And by the way if you don’t surrender to my point of view, I will launch the nuclear bomb called hell to bring you to repentance.” Instead of opening hearts to Jesus, many times we merely perpetuate the “us versus them” standoff. So how do we keep from becoming embroiled in these no-win, never-ending kind of spiritual conversation stalemates?

The Message version of Colossians 4:5,6 puts the answer this way: “Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.”

The first sentence of this passage perfectly describes the approach Colonel Hughes took when he acted so decisively that day in Najaf. He was wise in the way he related to those who felt and believed differently than him. We need to be equally wise engaging people if we want the quality and quantity of our spiritual conversations to increase. If you truly believe as I do that real wisdom comes from above, could I encourage you to pause and invite the Holy Spirit to grant you this kind of wisdom as you start this book. (A Prayer to Offer) God, open my eyes to the ways I maybe hindering opportunities for spiritual conversations in my daily life.

Having said that, spiritual conversation school is now in session. As previously mentioned, I earned my masters degree at the school of hard knocks. So please make every effort to turn my failures into your successes. It would ease my pain and make all my failures seem worthwhile.

Killer #1 The Heart is the Heart of the Matter

After speaking with countless Christ followers all over the world, I am convinced that the number one killer of spiritual conversation is unbelief. Could I ask you to stop and prayerfully ponder a question that penetrates to the heart of my conviction? Do you really believe the people in your Monday thru Saturday world want to talk about spiritual things? If you don’t, could I urge you to stop reading right now and invite Christ to help you with your unbelieving heart? Nothing else in this book will help you a whole lot until you change your mind about this matter. In Matthew 12:34b, Jesus informs us that our lips reflect what is on our hearts. I have found that we will miss opportunity after opportunity if we’ve pre-determined that the people who cross our path have no interest in talking about spiritual matters. For those of you who are skeptical of my assertion due to the spiritual climate of your geographic location, please give me the benefit of the doubt. I’ve had spiritual conversations with people all over the world including the supposed “tough places”. I think it’s because the Holy Spirit has given me a conviction that if God has put eternity in people’s hearts, which is what Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us, then people were made for spiritual conversations. As I’ve learned how to naturally create “God Space” in my relational encounters and avoid the nine spiritual conversation killers that you are about to read, spiritual conversations have become the norm, not the exception. Thomas Jefferson once said, “When the heart is right, the feet are swift.” Maybe he picked this idea up from Jesus who said in Matthew 9:23b “Everything is possible for him who believes.” Your heart is the heart of the matter! Unbelief hampers the Holy Spirit’s desire to advance God’s Kingdom through you,one spiritual conversation at a time.

Killer #2 Pre-Conversational History

The second greatest deterrent to having spiritual conversations occurs before most conversations have a chance to happen. Many un-believers have experienced some or all of the following eight spiritual conversation killers,

which are ranked in no particular order after numbers one and two. These experiences help to reinforce the age-old axiom that there are two things you don’t talk about in public, politics and religion. David Kinnaman in his book “UnChristian” quotes one outsider who described Christianity this way: “Most people I meet assume that Christian means very conservative, entrenched in their thinking, antigay, anti-choice, angry, violent, illogical, empire builders; they want to convert everyone, and they generally cannot live peacefully with anyone who doesn’t believe what they believe.” Like it or not our Christian jewelry, t-shirts, TV programs, tracts, and bumper stickers all serve to create a pre-conversational history that colors the perception of everyone you meet. This history greatly inhibits the possibility of having spiritual conversations with others. When you identify with Jesus, you automatically inherit all the perceptions created by His followers. Getting out of this Christian box as quickly as possible is essential if you are going to have real conversations.

This became quite clear to me on one of my speaking trips. I was in Columbus, Ohio speaking at the annual Summer Institute at Xenos, a church that is intentionally trying to live out much of what this book is about. I was having a problem with one of my slides in my Keynote presentation (Mac’s version of Powerpoint). So, I went to the Apple Store nearby to see if they could help me. The young lady assigned to work with me liked the challenging problem I presented to her. As she attempted to fix it, she was exposed to most of the content of my presentation on evangelism. I could not help wondering what was going through her mind. At that moment I realized that I wasn’t just in the box, “I was the box” to her. I sensed the atmosphere tighten up as she asked me to scroll through t
he clips and slides in my presentation. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit helped get me out of the box with the following question. “I was wondering if you would be willing to help me in another way. I’m here in town to speak to a large gathering of Christians who would like to learn how to talk to their friends about spiritual matters. Has anyone ever tried to do that with you?” She immediately went on n impassioned rant about the negative experiences she has had with her born again sister. As I began to reflectively listen to her, she began to calm down a little. I ask her the following question, which she was more than willing to answer. “If your sister were in the audience tomorrow when I speak, what would you like me to tell her so that your future conversations turn out a little better?” I had now climbed out of the box. She began to realize that I was not like her sister. Now that her pre-conversational history was out on the table, I was able to avoid the landmines that might blow up the opportunity to proceed talking about spiritual matters. We spent the rest of the time while she finished up my job doing just that. I walked away wishing there was some way her sister could be flown into the workshop I’d be doing the next day. I knew that was never going to happen, so I decided to share this story in hopes that someday she will read this book and connect the dots. Whether she does or not, this experience sure helped me to see that we can’t ignore ones pre-conversational history if we hope to increase the quality and quantity of our spiritual conversations.

Killer #3 Awkward Transitions

Several years ago, I found myself at home alone on a Sunday afternoon totally immersed in the last two minutes of a pro football game that would decide which team would make the playoff’s. I was annoyingly distracted from the gridiron drama by the sound of my doorbell. Somebody outside my house was obviously not in touch with what was going on inside my house. I prepared myself to quickly “stiff arm” (in Christian love of course) whoever was at the door so I could get back to my “Sunday football fix”. Unfortunately when I opened the door, two Mormons stood ready to greet me. They wanted to engage me in spiritual conversation. I found myself suspended in a spiritual time warp as they fumbled the ball early and often in there struggle to start up a conversation with me. As I listened to their awkward attempts to get a conversation started, pictures of bygone days began to flash through my mind of the times when I was the one attempting to start a spiritual conversation. All of a sudden I was filled with compassion for these two Mormons on their mission because they had reacquainted me with all those awkward feelings I had experienced when I was the one stammering through some awkward transition I had been taught to memorize. Awkward transitions create awkward feelings, which can leave people feeling pretty uptight. Most of the people I know, do not regularly sign up for conversations that leave them feeling “weirded out”. This raises the question I’m asked quite often, “So then, how do you transition into a spiritual conversation?”

As I’ve probed to better understand the nature of this question, I’ve discovered that most Christ followers are hoping for a sure fire transitional statement they can memorize which will produce great spiritual conversations every time they use it. Maybe we should take a cue from Jesus on this one. If He didn’t approach spiritual conversations this way, why should we? I am quite familiar with most of the different transitions Christian workers are taught to use. Even when practiced and delivered flawlessly, these transitions tend to create awkward feelings when the other person realizes you are trying to take the conversation somewhere. If their hearts are not prepared to go there, it might be the last spiritual conversation you will ever have with them. Later on in this book, I will discuss how we can move into spiritual conversations naturally and avoid awkward transitions.

Killer #4 Our Language – Not Theirs

While I’m on the Mormons, I have to share a funny story that I hope will make Killer #4 seem quite obvious. My brother’s job required him to move to the greater Salt Lake City, Utah area a few years ago. After they had settled into the neighborhood, one of their neighbors came over one day to welcome them. As this lady began to engage my sister-in-law in conversation, she asked her the following question; “Are you LDS?” My sister-in-law looked at my brother and replied; “Well, neither one of us our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), so we are probably not LDS either.” I still laugh hysterically when I recall this story. However when I realize the implications for having spiritual conversations, I’m quite sobered. When we lead with questions like; “Are you saved?” or “Have you been born again?” we leave outsiders feeling like . . . outsiders. When we speak in “Christianeze” we are unknowingly saying to others; “if you want to have a spiritual conversation with me you will have to do so on my terms.” Jesus modeled something quite to the contrary. He took the language of heaven and injected into the language of the day. In Colossians 4:4, the apostle Paul asked believers to pray that he would proclaim the message clearly. When we use our language and not theirs, we end up killing conversations with confusion and which can leave folks feeling dumb or stupid. Jesus used language that built bridges and opened doors. We can do the same by learning to translate spiritual truth into the every day vernacular of the people we are having conversations with.

Killer #5 Disrespectful Conversations

How many of you know that your spiritual gift is being quick to speak and slow to listen? Unfortunately, I find myself going there real easy. James 1:19 admonishes us to flip-flop the two. We need to be quick to listen and slow to speak. If this is not happening in our conversations, it’s quite easy for the other person to feel disrespected.

There is an overabundance of ways to unknowingly demonstrate disrespect in our conversations besides not listening. Condescending, or being parental in our conversations will do it every time. When we exceed the speed limit, run the stop signs, or hi-jack the conversation (the three most common evangelistic misdemeanors), we are not treating others, the way we would like to be treated. I don’t know about you but I do not regularly show up for conversations where I know I am going to be disrespected in these ways.

Killer #6 Agenda Driven Conversations

In the movie “The Big Kahuna” (A Movie to Watch) Larry (A character played by Kevin Spacey) asks Bob (A character portrayed as an evangelical Christian) how he ended up talking to Dick Fuller (a perspective business client) about religion in the first place? As Larry continues to probe, Bob eventually admits that the conversation got started due to a lead in. Larry astutely observes that Bob was looking for the opportunity to talk about what he believed. He went on to say that, “The conversation was not allowed to have a natural course because somebody was at the helm directing it.” Later in the movie, Phil (the character played by Danny DeVito) pulls Bob aside and shares the following advice with him. “If you want to talk to somebody honestly as a human being, ask him about his kids, find out what his dreams are, just to find out for no other reason because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it’s not a conversation anymore, it’s a pitch. And you’re not a human being you’re a marketing rep.”’

When I finished this movie I realized that Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito not only had some advice for Bob, but for me as well. In my early years in the ministry, I had become known as one of the chief marketing reps for Jesus. Unfortunately, I was actually affirmed for steering conversations towards my sales pitch for

Jesus
.
(A Quote to Memorize) Spiritual conversations should be our ultimate motive, not our ulterior motive. For the record, if people are ready for the agenda you had in mind for the conversation, you will be warmly embraced. If they are not, you will be assigned a label that will kill most of your opportunities for spiritual conversations in the future. In the words of Forrest Gump “that’s all I have to say about that.”

Killer #7 Controlling Conversations

How long does it usually take for you to takeover a conversation and dominate it with your worldview? This is a question I wish someone had challenged me to think about early on in my spiritual journey. During the 1980’s, I started the ministry of Athletes in Action at the University of Tennessee. If you dropped in on one of my appointments with the athletes back then this is what you would have probably seen. I’d usually start by asking a couple of questions to break the ice. I rarely listened because I did not want their response to derail the direction of where I was planning to take the conversation. After I broke the ice, I usually followed with a transitional question that I had been taught to memorize to turn the conversation towards spiritual things. The rest of the hour long appointment consisted of me sharing something I believed they needed to hear. From beginning to end I was always in control of the conversation. Other ministries I’m acquainted with take this kind of control to the extreme. They teach their workers to treat questions as smoke screens. The question is deflected so the Christian worker can get back to his or her scripted presentation. Is it any wonder why more and more people are saying no thanks to these kinds of conversations? Being in control of the curriculum of a conversation is fine when someone has willingly signed up for your lecture. But when you live in a world with such diversity, it’s essential to give up control.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that many Christ followers are afraid to be in settings where they are not in control of the conversation. This is why churches and ministries die. When we insist on having conversations in settings where only are fans are present, during the times we pick, with the activities we are comfortable with, we’d better start digging a six foot hole and playing taps. It’s only a matter of time before a church or ministry that insists on playing home games begins to fade into oblivion. Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 10:19-20 not to worry about what to say or how to say it because the Holy Spirit would give them what they needed when they needed it. Nothing pre-packaged or scripted about that, just an admonition to go and be in the moment under the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

Recently, I overheard a pastor as they were leaving a social setting consisting of very few church goers say this, “If you’d like to talk again some time you know where to find me on Sunday mornings”. I’m not sure what the pastor intended by this parting comment, but I thought to myself how different the outcome might be if the pastor had a go-to-them (road games) versus a come-to-me (home games) kind of a mindset.

Killer #8 Reactive Conversations

To many people in our culture, Christians have become known as the “disagreement people”. We’ve worked hard to earn this label one reaction at a time. Most of the time our body language, tone of voice, and verbal responses are a dead give away to the reality that we disagree with much of what people in culture are saying and doing. When we become self-designated spiritual umpires calling balls and strikes on the culture by writing letters to the editor, calling in on talk radio shows, and staging boycotts of one kind or another, our reactions speak for themselves. Essentially we are sending the culture this message: not only do we not endorse your point of view, we don’t accept you for where you are in your spiritual journey. This lack of acceptance crushes opportunities for spiritual conversations to happen. Acceptance does not mean endorsement. When we confuse these two words we destroy the very space God wants to work in. Many times not-yet Christians will say or do something just to see if we will react. This is many times a test to determine whether or not we are safe enough to have real conversations with. Reacting to things we hear or see comes naturally for most of us. We need supernatural responses that communicate a radical acceptance if we hope to create space for spiritual conversations to naturally happen.

Killer #9 Combative Conversations

It’s exhilarating to watch two good tennis players volley back and forth. Each tries to gain an advantage by causing the other to get out of position so they can hit a decisive shot called a “winner” which scores the point. Unfortunately, I use to view spiritual conversations in the same way. I viewed the person I was talking with as my opponent who must be won to my Christian point of view. I interned with Josh McDowell. I was trained by the best when it came to apologetics. On many occasions, I started my conversations with an overpowering serve. I then prepared myself to pepper “winners” at my opponent who in many cases had walked away from the conversation the moment the contest began. Even if my opponent was up for it, most of the time these worldview challenges led to heated debates, heated debates eventually gave way to arguments, and arguments always brought about conversions to Christ. Quite to the contrary, I never argued anyone into the Kingdom of God. As Dallas Williard says “It’s very difficult to be right about something without hurting someone with it.” When a conversation starts or turns combative, very rarely does anything of redemptive value occur. Even if we win the argument, we often lose the greater war when it turns into an us versus them show down. We need to remember that not-yet Christians are not the enemy, but victims of the enemy. This truth compels me to move out into culture with compassion and check my “onward Christian soldier” mindset at the door.

Killer #10 “It’s All About Me” Conversations

Have you ever been in a conversation where you felt like you couldn’t get a word in edge wise or the spot light never seems to shift off the person who is talking. If you have, I’m betting you just can’t wait for the next conversation with that person. I’ve come to believe that Christians fall into these “it’s all about me” kinds of conversations naturally. I believe . . . or I think . . . become over used introductions to the truth we dominate our conversations with. We are convinced that we have the absolute truth, which naturally leads us to believe that what we think is all that really matters. This kind of thinking quickly turns conversations into monologues where we eventually end up talking to ourselves. We need to realize that if people are not asking us what we believe, we might be wiser to keep the spotlight on what they believe and think. The secret to being interesting in a conversation is to be interested. This seems to be a great application of Philippians 2:4 which encourages us to not only look to our own interests but to the interests of others. At the end of the day, I’m not so sure what I believe really matters all that much any way. I want people to follow Jesus. I want to keep the spotlight on Him and what he said, not on what I think or believe. This requires us to bring the bible into our conversations. I will share more on how to do this later on in the book. Just one of these ten killers has the potential to close down your opportunities for spiritual conversation in a relationship for a lifetime. If you’re saying to your self “been there, and done that”. The good news is failure is usually never fatal or final, it’s just an opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Numerous people have applied the following assignment to help rebuild the bridges they have burnt along the way with great success.
If no previous conversation has come to mind as you read through this chapter, tuck this assignment away for another day. At some point I think you’ll find it helpful.

About Grace Compass Church

Grace Compass Church …a place for ‘real’ people on a journey
Come…Discover…Experience…Live

Come as you are, NO Perfect People Allowed!

Are you living a life of Significance?
Does your life have an impact?
What is your Purpose in Life?

Grace Compass Church is a place for ‘real’ people on a journey to come, discover, experience, and live out an incredible faith together through Grace. Reproducing radical followers that will leave the mark of Christ wherever they are living, working, and ministering are the ultimate purpose our authentic Biblical Community. Jesus Answered Life’s greatest questions with two simple profound Faith Goals: Love God with all your heart and love others as yourself. It is our relationship with God and our relationship with others that bring identity, meaning and purpose to our life.

We intentionally want to help people transform their city and live a daily life of significance with the community as the church. The Church is not only a once WEEK event on Sunday, but an everyday learning the Habits of Christ from God’s Word and the working of the Holy Spirit in a organic community where our faith is lived out and has its greatest impact. The main emphasis on Sunday will be a celebration of Grace which we will provide answers for life’s important questions with relevance, encouragement, and safety. We will then connect individuals to the life of Christ and encourage the next steps of the development of a Christly Life in the midst of this fallen world that is searching for acceptance, significance, and hope.
Three generations influenced by secular humanism have created a large spiritual vacuum here in America and over 195 million people are not going to church–most are people who are searching for hope, meaning, security, and significance. Most people have left the church because it often lacked relevance, seemed too operate in Hypocrisy (duplicity), got political, were judgmental of others, and have focused on Rules and behavior instead of belief and relationship.
Therefore, we have established this authentic faith community to care about the needs of others. We are a Church where we have thrown away our masks. We realize no one is perfect and everyone is welcome to be real and authentic with whom God made them to be. We encouraged our community to accept and value people just as they are. We want to provide a safe place to become like Christ in Community. This is only a snapshot of our as a redeemed community of faith.

Therefore, we believe that people matter to God – in fact, they are the pinnacle of His creation. Not only that, but every person was created by God with a need to connect in authentic organic community with others. Together we are better than when we are alone.

WHY START CHURCHES IN NORTH AMERICA?

· North America is the only continent where the church is not growing.
· Church planting is the most effective way to reached the un-reached and unchurched.
· New churches grow faster than established churches.
· New churches help keep up with population growth.
· New churches are more likely to enlist people in Kingdom Advancement

Why A New Church?

Church planting is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and a necessary method for reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are focused on reaching the un-churched. People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people. New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success.
Our Values: Form the Way and How We Live Life
Connected To Our Beliefs the What and Why We Believe

Our Values influences and guides how we live together at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our life together. Our values shape our Character which is directly linked to what we believe.

· Authentic Relationships: We will pursue being real and transparent with each other, so that we can encourage, celebrate, grow, hold accountable and mourn as a family.
· Incarnate Living: We will grow in living out of the life of Jesus by the power of the Spirit.
· Biblical Truth: We will learn and apply the truth of Scripture to all of our life, avoiding the temptation to replace its truth for the best ideas of people.
· Compassion: We will love all people like Jesus did and minister to them daily regardless of their social status or spiritual condition.
· Missional Living: We will live our lives out to bring the gospel in visible form to lost people all around us.
· Grace-wholeness: We will equip people to know who they are in Christ, their new identity in Christ; how to remove their masks of who they think they are outside of Christ and the importance of yielding to the overflowing life of Christ which will overflow from their new lives in to others in their community. Becoming such a whole person is accomplished only through the grace of God.
· Relevance: We will engage today’s culture in its context with significance without selling out or watering down the Gospel of Grace.
· Global Impact: We will be part of a global network that makes a kingdom impact.
· Freedom to Question: We will welcome the freedom that comes with questioning things so we can seek God’s answers together without arrogance

Our Beliefs: Form the Why and What of Life
Connected To Our Values the Way and How We Live
Our Beliefs form the Spitual Content of why we Value what we value together at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our lives. Our Beliefs shape our foundation which is directly linked to what we Value. What you believe reflects the life you will live, what you value reflects how you will live your life.
  • God is the creator and the ruler of the universe. He has eternally existed in three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those three are co-equal with God and are one God.
  • Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is co-equal with the Father. He was born of a virgin and lived a perfect, sinless human life. He offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all people by dying on a cross. He arose from the dead after three days, ascended into heaven, and will return again someday to reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
  • The Holy Spirit is co-equal with the Father and Son. He is present in the world to make men aware of their need for Jesus Christ. He also lives in every Christian from the moment of Salvation. He provides the believer with power for living, understanding spiritual truth, wisdom, and guidance.
  • The Bible is God’s Word to us. It was written by human authors under the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is the supreme source of truth for all Christian beliefs and living. Because it is inspired by God, it is the truth without any mixture of error.
  • Salvation is God’s free gift to us, but we must accept it. We can never make up for our sins by self-improvement or good works. Only by trusting Jesus Christ as God’s offer for forgiveness can anyone be saved from sin’s penalty. When we turn directions in our minds about our self-willed life and turn to Jesus in faith, we are saved. Eternal life begins the moment one receives Jesus Christ into his life by faith.
  • Eternity – The soul of every human being was created to live forever on a Spiritual Journey. We will either exist eternally separated from God by sin, or eternally with God through salvation and forgiveness. Hell is eternal separation from God. Heaven is eternal union with God. Heaven and Hell are real places of eternal existence.
    _____________________________________________
    Teddy and Mary Awad have been married for 10 years and both have spent the last 15 years in ministry. They have a daughter, Tiffany who is 8 years old and speaks three languages already.

    Spiritual Gifts: Entrepreneurial Spirit, Visionary Leadership, Strategic Thinking, Mercy Evangelism, Faith, Communication

    For more information Please call us at:
    410-808-6483 1-877-702-2GOD
    7868 Causeway Blvd South, St. Petersburg, FL 33707
    gracecompasschurch@gmail.com
    http://gracecompasschurch.blogspot.com/

Grace Compass Church

Grace Compass Church

Come…Discover…Experience…Live

a place for ‘real’ people on a Journey

NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED!

Sunday Nights at 5PM

For more information please call us at:

410-808-6483

or call us toll free at 1877-702-2GOD

7868 Causeway Blvd South,

St. Petersburg, FL 33707

Come as you are!

Music…Snacks…Fun…Interaction

Casual and comfortable dress

All Ages Welcome

For more information Please call us at:

410-808-6483

1-877-702-2GOD

gracecompasschurch@gmail.com
http://gracecompasschurch.blogspot.com/

Grace Compass Church will be a place for real people on a journey to come, discover, experience, and live out an incredible faith together through Grace. Reproducing disciples and individuals that will leave the mark of the Gospel of Grace wherever they are living, working, and ministering is the ultimate purpose of a Church that is patterned after the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

We intentionally want to help people transform their city and live a life of significance in Christ through Grace of God. The Church is not only a once WEEK EVENT on Sunday but an everyday learning the Habits of Christ from Gods Word and the working of the Holy Spirit in a organic missional groups. The celebration of Grace on Sunday at 5 PM will be an opportunity to reach the un-churched and provide a safe place for those seeking the answers of life’s important questions. The main emphasis of Church on Sunday will be to connect individuals to the life of Christ and encourage the next steps of Discovery with intentional personal development of a Christly Life.

Three generations influenced by secular humanism have created a spiritual vacuum and over 195 million unreached people – people who are searching for hope, meaning, security, and significance.

We believe that people matter to God in fact, they are the pinnacle of His creation. Not only that, but every person was created by God with a need to connect in authentic organic Missional community with others. We can establish real, encouraging, safe, and honest relationships with one another as we learn to do life together as a redeemed missional community of faith.

Why Tampa Bay?

Over the past year God has given me a burden for lost people in the Southeast and a passion to reach them with the message of Jesus Christ. My goal is to be used by God to impact the Southeast for His kingdom by changing the spiritual landscape of this entire area from one that worships and idolizes nature, leisure, and individualism to a community of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ that worship the one true God.

About the Tampa Bay Area

· Spiritually open people who are ready to respond to God when His gospel is presented through an authentic and culturally relevant community of faith. Florida has an average church attendance percentage (15.1%) lower than the national average (18.7%).

· Growing population of over 4 million people with 9% growth in population expected annually. This county has the Youngest demographic in Florida (18-40 years old) nearly 42% of Tampa Bay’s population is in the highly desirable target 18-40 age group.

· We believe that we have been called by God to seek and build people who will become the church because it is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and the best method for achieving the common objective of reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

WHY START CHURCHES IN NORTH AMERICA?

· North America is the only continent where the church is not growing.

· Church planting is the most effective way to reach the un-reached and unchurched.

· New churches grow faster than established churches.

· New churches help keep up with population growth.

· New churches are more likely to enlist people in Kingdom Advancement

Why A New Church?

Church planting is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and a necessary method for reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are focused on reaching the un-churched. People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people. New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success.

Vision:

Grace Compass Church will be a place for ‘real’ people on a journey together discovering, experiencing, and living out an incredible faith together through Grace. Reproducing disciples and individuals that will leave the mark of the Gospel of Grace wherever they are living, working, and ministering is the ultimate purpose of a Church that is patterned after the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

Mission:

Compass will be used by God to design, launch, and grow numerous churches through collaboration. These churches will in turn reproduce, and be used as a catalyst to launch and reproduce which will impact the entire southeast, as well as minister to people groups in many other parts of our world. Compass is committed to MULTIPLICATION of disciples and emerging missional servant leaders who will build people who become the church.

Church Planting Is

Our Purpose: The nature of God is multiplication and reproduction.

Our Calling: The church as the Body of Christ is called to multiply.

Our Effectiveness: Church planting is the most effective form of Evangelism.

Biblical: Church planting is the biblical strategy for increasing the Kingdom.

Central: The local church is the center from which evangelism and ministry spread.

Right: It’s an investment in the only thing Jesus said He would build – the church.

Core Values:

Values reflect what we will do at Grace Compass Church as a central part of our life together.

Authentic Relationships: We will pursue being real and transparent with each other, so that we can encourage, celebrate, grow, hold accountable and mourn as a family.

Incarnate Living: We will grow in living out of the life of Jesus by the power of the Spirit.

Biblical Truth: We will learn and apply the truth of Scripture to all of our life, avoiding the temptation to replace its truth for the best ideas of people.

Compassion: We will love all people like Jesus did and minister to them daily regardless of their social status or spiritual condition.

Missional Living: We will live our lives out to bring the gospel in visible form to lost people all around us.

Grace-wholeness: We will equip people to know who they are in Christ, their new identity in Christ; how to remove their masks of who they think they are outside of Christ and the importance of yielding to the overflowing life of Christ which will overflow from their new lives in to others in their community. Becoming such a whole person is accomplished only through the grace of God.

Relevance: We will engage today’s culture in its context with significance without selling out or watering down the Gospel of Grace.

Global Impact: We will be part of a global network that makes a kingdom impact.

Freedom to Question: We will welcome the freedom that comes with questioning things so we can seek God’s answers together without arrogance

Strategy:

The strategy of “Grace Compass Church” will be accomplished by establishing “environments” that will be implemented through the missional community groups of the church. These missional groups will create numerous ministries and community outreach which will flow from their desires which God will birth uniquely in each individual of every missional group.

Grace Environment: Jesus is the “Living Water of Grace” that quenches our spiritual thirst and transfigures our life from within. Hearing the Word causes our faith to grow in grace as we are transfigured internally to the image of the one whom we are called to follow Christ. Grace also is our living mentor who tutors us all in the character and nature of Who God Is, what He has done, and what God is doing now. We want to plant this church to take a Stand for the Gospel of Grace and welcome those who have been wounded and hurt by the universal churches image problem.

Growth Environment: Holy Spirit spreads the message of Jesus through us to others as we share our individual and collective lives with them through God’s Word’s of Life. Our missional spirit as a church, and our commitment to reach out and to share the message of Christ in concrete contemporary ways to all corners of the world will be our Collective purpose that Glorifies God our Father. This is done through missional community groups that will make learning fun and life transforming. This process of transferring rudimentary head knowledge to spiritual formation is the work of the Holy Spirit not the work of Clergy or other believers.

Spiritual Formation Environment: It takes time for meaningful progress and a safe place where you can practically process what you are learning in your daily life with God’s people. The environment must be safe from evaluating people on the basis performance and production. Measuring success and failure into spiritual metrics only hinders an individual’s growth. Success in the business world and world system is very different from what God defines as success. The world measures success is by individualism, outward appearance, production, performance, and obvious external results. God works in the invisible and His work is in an individual. The hidden work on the inside will eventually be revealing fruit in God’s timing not by our own effort, production or individual outward works.

Missional Environment: As God’s creation and we are called to cultivate and reproduce Spiritual life through ministry for God’s glory. The church isn’t a place you go to once a week – the church is a people who are a living organism on a glorious mission of proclaiming their King and His Kingdom. We are “outward looking” and “others focused” as we live out our living faith in our daily lives. Christ is constantly on mission through our lives to reach out and serve our neighbors, our communities, and our world in relevant ways each and every day with Joy. We serve because of the radical inward work of grace in our lives, and desire that others also experience the revolution of Grace personally.

Worship Environment: God has placed a passion in our hearts and spirits for worship which is illuminated as we draw closer to Him. Our hearts set ablaze with worship, both corporately and individually, as we continually give ourselves over to Him and draw closer to His glory. To receive all that God is and what His Word teaches radically changes lives and causes internal change that is a result of progressively growing in Grace through worship.

Implementation of Our Vision and Mission

This is a flexible blueprint of we will use to reach out to people, connect with them, and lead them into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Building relational bridges into the community through our missional community groups inviting individuals to a celebration of Grace on Sundays or to the numerous missional community Groups events of Celebration (Three keys here: Intentionality, Unconditional Love , Acceptance, and “Telling Our Story”)

Living out an authentic living faith for others to see (People don’t just want you to tell them about your faith; they want to see evidence of it in the way you live your life – are you for real or a fraud? People do not care how much you know until you show them how much you really care. Has Jesus REALLY radically changed your life and given you a new set of values and desires to live your life by?)

Inviting and Gathering an un-churched friend to an authentic service designed for particularly them to observe the Celebration This also allows for the development of new emerging missional leaders and the mentoring of missional community leaders learning and growing effectively in reproducible authentic maturity. Attend, Invite, tutor and serve others!

Encountering the Spirit of God and teaching the Word of God through the worship experience (it needs to be real and relevant) making the complex simple and applicable in daily life for everyone, not just for seekers attending.

Making a decision to follow Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord (You shouldn’t have to force or manipulate this – Jesus didn’t! – Just gave them an opportunity to respond to the Gospel when they came and saw) We are only a pencil in the hand of God, God will do the writing on individuals heart if we are only faithful to present Him and invite people to a decision as we celebrate our Master in relationship.

Connecting organically with the Body of Christ. Christ honoring relationships, friendships, and spiritual discovery. The organism of the church the missional community groups is where we do life together corporately and discovery occurs.

Learning how to live like Jesus lived and taught from the Word of God we will develop genuine growth together. Spiritual formation and reproduction of life transformation in others (Mentoring / Teaching / Reproduction)

Serving others outside the church (Community Service and servant evangelism thru our Missional DNA and Missional community groups)

Loving God as a lifestyle (Worship – it’s not just an event you go to on Sunday, it’s a lifestyle! We will teach people what it means to live the Christian life 24/7)

Reproducing other believers and churches

WHAT WE BELIEVE

ABOUT THE BIBLE

The Bible is God’s word to all men. It was written by human authors, under the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is the supreme source of truth for Christian beliefs and living. Because it is inspired by God, it is truth without any mixture of error.

ABOUT GOD

God is the creator and ruler of the universe. He has eternally existed in three persons – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. These three are co-equal and are one God.

ABOUT MAN

Man is made in the spiritual image of God, to be like him in character. He is the supreme object of God’s creation. Although man has tremendous potential for good, he is marred by an attitude of disobedience toward what God called “sin.” This attitude separates man from God.

ABOUT ETERNITY

Man was created to exist forever. He will either exist eternally separated from God by sin or in union with God through forgiveness and salvation. To be eternally separated from God is hell. To be eternally in union with him is eternal life. Heaven and hell are places of eternal existence.

ABOUT JESUS CHRIST

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is co-equal with the Father. Jesus lived a sinless human life and offered himself as the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all men by dying on a cross. He arose from the dead after three days to demonstrate His power over sin and death. He ascended to heaven’s glory and will return again to earth to reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

ABOUT SALVATION

Salvation is a gift from God to man by grace through faith. Man can never make up for his sin by self-improvement or good works – only by trusting in Jesus Christ as God’s offer of forgiveness can man be saved from sin’s penalty. Eternal life begins the moment one receives Jesus Christ into his life by faith.

ABOUT ETERNAL SECURITY

Because God gives man eternal life through Jesus Christ, the believer is secure in salvation for eternity. Salvation is maintained by the grace and power of God, not by the self-effort of the Christian.

ABOUT THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Holy Spirit is equal with the Father and the Son as God. He is present in the world to make men aware of their need for Jesus Christ. He also lives in every Christian from the moment of salvation. He provides the Christian with power for living, understanding of spiritual truth, and guidance.

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Compass Church … a fresh perspective on God’s timeless truth and amazing Grace which will reproduce the next generation of missionaries that will impact everyone, everywhere they are!

Founding Pastor: Teddy Awad

Spiritual Gifts: Entrepreneurial Spirit, Visionary Leadership, Strategic Thinking, Evangelism, Faith, Communication

Family: Wife Mary and one Child … Tiffany–8

Teddy and Mary Awad have been married for 10 years, and have spent the last 15 years in ministry, the last four years on staff with a Young Adult Crisis Hotline.

To accomplish our vision we have joined with Converge Southeast. The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region. For more information about Converge south east please visit their website at:


http://convergesoutheast.net/

The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region.

_______________________________________

LAUNCH TEAM RECRUITMENT AND MENTORSHIP

Catalyst Church Planting Family

God has really been deeply touching us with a vision to gather missionaries in the Tampa bay area from all over the United States. We together as a Missional community with various gifting and unique God given abilities will be able plant numerous churches together as a catalyst family. A Catalyst family stimulates movement that precipitates a response, development, and lasting change. As a Catalyst family we are more effective than on our own as just Church planters. Together we can make an impact, working alongside one another, instead of apart building our very own kingdom. Let’s work together to plant a healthy church that loves people and really cares about one another. Then we can help one another to plant other churches from a base of operations and develop a network of churches planting churches as a Catalyst family. Together in collaboration with the Gospel of Grace we will change the spiritual landscape and the culture. This takes sacrifice and a life that does not belong to you anymore. It honestly takes a poured our life that is sent out by God. We are not looking for the religious. We are looking for a few Good men and women who are really ordinary people who do not think much of themselves, however think much about our extraordinary God who builds churches through the ordinary. This is the march of the unqualified.

Over the past year God has given us a burden for lost people in the Southeast and a passion to reach them with the message of Jesus Christ by planting a network of healthy churches. Our goal is to be used by God to impact the Southeast for His kingdom by changing the spiritual landscape of this entire area from one that worships and idolizes nature, leisure, and individualism to a community of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ that worship the one true God. We believe this is only possible through movement formation and development of Catalyst Family of church planters, launch team members, and various missionaries who through collaboration with the Gospel of Grace cross the culture and cause response, development, and lasting change.

American Missionaries Wanted

At the time of this writing there are approximately 300 million people in North America. It is estimated that at least 200 million of them are lost without Christ as their personal Savior. The easiest solution to this lostness problem is to train and require the 100 million saved people to lead two people to Christ this year. Then all of North America will be saved. Sounds too good to be true, but the math works. God desires the church to be salt and light among the nations. We all pretty much agree that healthy church plants are the most effective method of evangelism and discovery. So how do we start enough churches to reach 200 million people? Using the most common method available today, it will not be done. Training people for three years in seminary and sending them out will not be sufficient because of people, resources, and time. This method only allows us to begin a certain number of churches each year determined by the amount of resources to fund a pastor and the number of pastors available, which is limited to graduates from seminary.

Are You Living A Life Of Significance?

Most of us, at some point in our lives will ask ourselves “What is my Purpose?” or “How can I make an Impact?” I want to invite you on an exciting journey. One that will not only transform your life as you encounter the life-changing message of the Gospel of Grace, but also one that will transform a city. As you walk this journey know that you are not alone! There are others that have similar passion. Individuals share the vision of Grace Compass Church. This strategy will encourage you to ask the following questions………..

How Can I Be Equipped And Resourced To Live A Life Of Significance?

Compass will offer you individual mentorship, church launch team involvement, and available internship opportunities with our Converge Southeast in the Tampa Bay area. This will provide a realistic experience that provides face-to-face opportunities to communicate and interact with others. It will take you to exceptional places full of intrigue and growth as you consider God’s purposes for your life. Through a series of Launch team learning activities and individual mentorship, your ability to add value to your own life and make a significant impact in the lives of others will be enhanced. With each step you take, you will encounter opportunities to attend, get involved, and to mentor others in their new found faith.

How Can I Become Involved In Transforming My City?

First hand experiences at making a positive difference by connecting you with real opportunities to make an impact. Your journey never ends! To live a life of significance, the journey is continuous. A process whereby the more you become involved, the more you discover who you are, and the more you personally will grow. We will develop several key initiatives that will demonstrate the person and values of Jesus Christ while meeting the unique needs of our city together. This vision will only become possible if you and others come together and get involved. Under each initiative there are various ideas and opportunities that fall into three simple levels of involvement. These levels of involvement will help you apply what you have learned through individualized coaching, mentoring, and development of leadership abilities to enhance the overall city strategy. Intentionally being the hands of God providing moments for you to start spiritual conversations and personal development.

THE NEED: WHY START CHURCHES IN NORTH AMERICA?

THE NEED:

WHY START CHURCHES IN NORTH AMERICA?

Statistics On North America:


According to Barna, “There has been a 92% increase in the number of unchurched Americans in the last thirteen years. In 1991 there were 39 million unchurched Americans compared with 75 million currently.
(2004).”

Another study by Barna reveals, “The highest concentration of unchurched adults is in the West where 43% of adults are unchurched and the Northeast (40%), compared to 28% residents in the South and Midwest who are unchurched. (2006)”

According to Christianity Today, Every two years, an average of 1% more Americans identify themselves as having no religion. “One of the most striking 1990-2001 comparisons is the more than doubling of the adult population identifying with no religion, from 14.3 million (8%) to 29.4 million (14.1%)”

Other Important Facts:


· North America is the only continent where the church is not growing.
· Church planting is the most effective way to reached the un reached.
· New churches grow faster than established churches.
· New churches help keep up with population growth.
· New churches are more likely to enlist people in Kingdom Advancement

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Ten Elements of a Movement

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Movemental Christianity

Ed Stetzer offers a great list of the key elements of a Movemental Christianity.

Prayer

Prayer will need to be more than a habit, or a discipline. It must be a conviction that establishes its priority. Before we see movemental Christianity, we will have to be praying, asking God to change us.

Intentionality


We will also need to show the intention of being movemental (see the next 8 elements). As of now, I believe our focus is primarily defensive and incremental, not intentional and exponential.

Sacrifice


Change will not come without giving something up. No movement will happen until pressure is applied to move the church from the place of being static to a body of believers in action. This sacrifice will be paid by denominations, individual churches, and believers.

Reproducibility


Movements do not occur through large things (big budgets, big plans, big teams). They occur through small units that are readily reproducible. Those who want to see movements need to see reproducibility at every level. This is a challenge is to resist the grandiose in favor of the reproducible.

Theological Integrity


Churches wanting to be involved in transformative, movemental Christianity hold firm and passionate positions on biblical views. The Baptists and Methodists won the Western Frontier (1795-1810) because they were passionate about their beliefs. The Pentecostals are not de-emphasizing what they believe to win Central America. Movements are found among people with robust beliefs, not generic belief systems.

Incarnation


Movemental Christianity recognizes that the gospel is unchanging, but the expressions and results of the gospel will vary from culture to culture. It also recognizes that as the sent people of God we are called to appropriately identify with those to whom we have been sent. All of this means that we must understand both the gospel and culture in order to be the biblically faithful, culturally relevant, counter-cultural movement of God. Movements will look like, and be owned by, ordinary people in their setting.

Empowerment


Movements only occur when the disempowered are given the freedom, and then take up the responsibility, to lead. In our case, the clergification of the church has marginalized those God has called – all people. The disempowerment of church members simultaneously satisfies and disturbs many pastors. Frustration results from not being able to get others to do the work of ministry, but satisfaction comes from being affirmed in doing the work others should be doing. Such co-dependency is the death-knell of movemental Christianity.

Charitability


Movemental Christianity is messy. Those involved in it make mistakes, over-emphasize certain things, and even believe things different than I do. Nobody gives her or his life for a bland belief system. A movement of God cannot be contained in a single movement or theological tradition. Therefore, movemental Christianity requires charity to maintain our firmly held convictions while rejoicing for and speaking well about those with whom we differ but are being greatly blessed by God.

Scalability


Movements often are stifled within smaller communities because of the small mindedness of local believers. When God begins to move, and believers allow movement Christianity to begin to grow, structures must be able to rapidly re-size to not stifle such movements.

In many cases, movements will break out of structures. More frequently, non-scalable structures (like some training programs or denomination structures), will actually hinder the movement. These structures become bottlenecks rather than catalysts.

Wholism


The modern evangelical separation of gospel proclamation and societal transformation is an historical oddity. Movemental Christianity will practice wholistic ministry much in the way of Jesus. Current movements and historical awakenings are and were accompanied by societal transformation. (Cities of God: How Christianity Become an Urban Movement and Conquered Rome provides a helpful look at this subject.)

I am sure a true movement will involve more than this…but these would be a start.

          Clergification

 

I have no problem with paid pastors (it is biblical). My concern is the bias against the unpaid and the clergification of ministry. All believers have a ministry, mine is just to the office of pastor. God calls us to different ministries, some are paid and some are not, but all are essential.

The monetary support of pastoral leadership is a biblical model. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth that, “the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel.” (1 Cor. 9:14) He presses the point again in 1 Tim. 5:17-18 when he told the young pastor, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,’ and, ‘The laborer deserves his wages.’” There are other passages that also support this practice (Gal. 6:6; 3 Jn. 1:8) as a good model for sustaining the leadership and direction of the church.

profesional.jpgWhile many understand the biblical merit of this argument, many have also bought into the clergification of Christian ministry. This is the belief that the professionals carry out the real work of the church, and everyone else simply lends a hand here and there. And “professionals” are of course those who make their living from the gospel. Therefore, bi-vocational pastors or church planters are often held in much less esteem, and the rest of the church is seen as practically unnecessary. Such a perspective misses the example of Paul, and more importantly the nature of gospel ministry and church health.

While clearly articulating the idea that pastoral leadership should be supported by their local church, Paul himself often worked outside of the church to support his church planting endeavors. More importantly, Paul clearly teaches that the church’s health is built upon the interdependent ministries that arise from the church body, and not solely from the teaching ministry of paid leaders (1 Cor. 12; Eph. 4; Rom 12:3-8). We have to guard against the tendency to depend more on man and less on Christ among his people.

In the email conversation Neil Cole added some helpful words to this discussion, and I wanted to share them here (with his permission).

1. Paul does say it is the apostles "right" to be supported, but that he and Barnabas have forgone that right for the furtherance of the gospel. I believe the idea is that in pioneering works, he doesn’t want to offer the gospel at a charge. That is my own conviction, so I never receive support from the church I am starting at the time, but will gladly receive it once I move on.

2. Jesus sent the disciples (both the 12 and the 70) off without any financial support. He said "do not take a purse." No reserves, no credit cards, no plans for sustenance. They were to believe God to provide for them and solely focus on obedience to the kingdom principles taught in Matt 10 and Luke 10. I often wonder what Christianity would look like if we all started this way. After their faith and obedience are demonstrated (tested?), Jesus later says, "Now, take a purse." (Luke 22?) The idea is that you do not know how to handle money until you know how to go forward without it. Once you prove that your heart is right and your faith is sound, then financial support is fine…as long as it is releasing you to do more of what you do already. The idea of employment is foreign to the NT. You are owned by Jesus, not any other. Job descriptions, office hours, performance reviews, raises, lay-offs, bonuses, etc…have no place in God’s kingdom. This is not a business enterprise but a Kingdom and each are agents under Christ’s command and none other. He will not place the order and then not pay the bill.

3. There were many times Paul made tents, but also times when he served "full time" while others worked to support him. He never took money from his new churches, but accepted it when he moved on (i.e. Philippians). There is not one model for how this works in the NT and not even one only for Paul himself.

We have many who are moving this direction with radical faith and God is honoring. The last chapter of my next book (Organic Leadership) is story after story of church planters who ventured off away from secure salaries to live by faith and using their entrepreneurial gifts. Each story is unique and powerful. Often additional "side-effects" occur that no one expected…like greater respect in the community and fruitfulness in transforming a city. Often they end up having much greater financial support then they would have had in "professional ministry".

Alan Hirsch had limited time to write but added,

The only thing I would add to Chris is that given that you are in an established church, it has its ‘givens’ and professionalization of ministry is one of them. But I think we do need to be very careful about being domesticated by being paid full-time. We easily get co-opted to becoming chaplains of the status quo.

Neil’s and Alan’s advice and cautions should give us all pause as we consider what are the pitfalls and pressures we face in the local church. The health of the church depends on the presence of Christ working through the whole body as his missionary activity, and not on select personalities or professionals.

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EdStetzer.com

Join Our Catalytic Team and Family

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Join Our Catalytic Team and Family

God has really been deeply touching us with a vision to gather missionaries in the Tampa bay area from all over the United States. We together as a missionary community with various gifting and unique God given abilities will be able plant numerous churches together as a catalyst family. A Catalyst family stimulates movement that precipitates a response, development, and lasting change. As a Catalyst family we are more effective than on our own as just Church planters. Together we can make an impact, working alongside one another, instead of apart building our very own kingdom. Let’s work together to plant a healthy church that loves people and really cares about one another. Then we can help one another to plant other churches from a base of operations and develop a network of churches planting churches as a Catalyst family. This takes sacrifice and a life that does not belong to you anymore. It honestly takes a poured our life that is sent out by God. We are not looking for the religious. We are looking for a few Good men and women who are really ordinary people who do not think much of themselves, however think much about our extraordinary God who builds churches through the ordinary. This is the march of the unqualified.

Over the past year God has given us a burden for lost people in the Southeast and a passion to reach them with the message of Jesus Christ by planting a network of healthy churches. Our goal is to be used by God to impact the Southeast for His kingdom by changing the spiritual landscape of this entire area from one that worships and idolizes nature, leisure, and individualism to a community of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ that worship the one true God. We believe this is only possible through movement formation and development of Catalyst Family of church planters, launch team members, and various missionaries who through collaboration with the Gospel of Grace cross the culture and cause response, development, and lasting change.

We believe that we have been called by God to church planting because is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and the best method for achieving the common objective of reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are formed around impacting entire communities and reaching the un-churched versus an emphasis of taking care of existing members in established churches. People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people. New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success. To accomplish our vision we have joined with Converge Southeast.

The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region. For more information about Converge south east please visit their website at:

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http://convergesoutheast.net/

The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region.

Converge World Wide Affirmation of Faith

http://www.convergesoutheast.net/content/view/61/89/

Watch this Video Slideshow:

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http://www.goodmanson.com/wp-content/Post-Christian-ChurchPlanting.html

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At the time of this writing there are approximately 300 million people in North America. It is estimated that at least 200 million of them are lost without Christ as their personal Savior. The easiest solution to this lostness problem is to train and require the 100 million saved people to lead two people to Christ this year. Then all of North America will be saved. Sounds too good to be true, but the math works. God desires the church to be salt and light among the nations. We all pretty much agree that healthy church plants are the most effective method of evangelism and discipleship. So how do we start enough churches to reach 200 million people?

American Missionaries Wanted

We are looking for various types of people from all races and cultural backgrounds to form a team that have first given themselves to the Lord and them to one another as a Catalyst family to form a movement with Converge Southeast. This is an opportunity to get involved with a church planting team with other church planters, launch team members, and other American missionaries who are going to be testing various methodologies, processes, ideas, and using this fallen world as a laboratory. Do you want to come to a place where the sky is the limit? Every idea is cared about and we together create movement. We are looking to put together the most amazing team of missionaries and church planters from all over the United States. We together by working to collaborate through the numerous levels and stages of church planting can make a greater impact by planting not just one church, but many. Individually available help each other fulfill each others God given hopes, dreams, vision, and destines through the Body of Christ. We can Start a Movement together and change the landscape of our culture and the very culture of church planting by making it collaborative, instead of focusing all the pressure upon just the individual church planter and his family. We believe this is only possible through movement formation and development of Catalyst Family of church planters, launch team members, and various missionaries who through collaboration with the Gospel of Grace cross the culture and cause response, development, and lasting change.

Launch Team member Qualifications:

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Has A “Visionizing” Capacity. Is One who

Persuasively sells the Vision to the people and Believes in God’s capacity to accomplish great things.

Intrinsically motivated is one who Has stick-to-itiveness and is persistent. Is a self starter and is willing to build from nothing.

Ability to create ownership of ministry. Is one who

Helps others to feel responsible for the growth and success of the ministry. Wins the commitment of the people to the Vision.

Ability to relate to the unchurched people. Is one who:

Communicates in a style easily understood by the unchurched. Understands the “psychology” or mentality of the unchurched.

Manages family well. Is one who:

Has a spouse who is a partner in the ministry according to her gifts. Models wholesome family life before the church and the community.


Effectively Builds Relationships. Is one who:

Makes others feel secure and comfortable in his presence. Does not respond in a judgmental or prejudicial fashion to new people.

Committed to Church Growth. Is one who:

Appreciates steady and consistent growth without looking for “quick success.” Is committed to numerical growth within the context of spiritual and relational growth.

Responsive to the Community. Is one who:

Understands the culture of the community and collaboration. Adapts the philosophy of ministry to the character of the community.
Utilizes the giftedness of others. He is one who:

Releases and equips people to do the task of ministry. Matches people with ministry needs and opportunities according to giftedness.

Flexibility and adaptability. He is one who:

Can cope effectively with ambiguity.

Copes effectively with constant and abrupt change.

Building a cohesive church body. He is one who:

Quickly includes newcomers into a network of relationships or meaningful church activities. Monitors the morale of the people.

Resilience and Determination. He is one who:

Can ride the ups and downs. Can rebound from loss, disappointments and failures.

Exercises faith. He is one who:

Believes in the power of God.
His life is marked by expectation and hope.

If this sounds like you, maybe it is time for a formal assessment.
To request information about an Assessment Interview contact:

Teddy Awad
gracecompasschurch@gmail.com
http://gracecompasschurch.blogspot.com/


410-808-6483
Or call toll free 1-877-702-2GOD
Please review our Church plant proposal and ideas at our Blog for more detailed information and vision before contacting us:

http://gracecompasschurch.blogspot.com/

Collaboration Is The Act Of Working Together With The Gospel Of Grace In United Labor With Others To Serve Our City.

These Communities Will Be “Communitas” (Community With A Cause); A Coming Together Of Christ Followers Who Are Willing To Trade Their Life To Accomplish The Dream Of God By Following Jesus!

We are not a Funding Agency we are a Collaborative Network of Missionaries who are working for one another to expand the Kingdom of God in our City with the Gospel of Grace. We do not fund or give grants to church plants or church planters looking for funding. We are churches that collaborate with one another in our city for the sake of Christ. Together we can do more than we could alone.

We do give our Friendship, Love, Care and Prayers through partnership.

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Wanted: Church Plant Team Members

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WANTED: AMERICAN MISSIONARIES

Wanted: Church Plant Team Members

Wanted: Church Planting Interns


compasschapel@gmail.com
http://compasschapel.blogspot.com/
410-808-6483
Or call toll free 1-877-702-2GOD

Why Tampa Bay?

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Catalyst Family

God has really been deeply touching us with a vision to gather missionaries in the Tampa bay area from all over the United States. We together as a missionary community with various gifting and unique God given abilities will be able plant numerous churches together as a catalyst family. A Catalyst family stimulates movement that precipitates a response, development, and lasting change. As a Catalyst family we are more effective than on our own as just Church planters. Together we can make an impact, working alongside one another, instead of apart building our very own kingdom. Let’s work together to plant a healthy church that loves people and really cares about one another. Then we can help one another to plant other churches from a base of operations and develop a network of churches planting churches as a Catalyst family. This takes sacrifice and a life that does not belong to you anymore. It honestly takes a poured our life that is sent out by God. We are not looking for the religious. We are looking for a few Good men and women who are really ordinary people who do not think much of themselves, however think much about our extraordinary God who builds churches through the ordinary. This is the march of the unqualified.

Over the past year God has given us a burden for lost people in the Southeast and a passion to reach them with the message of Jesus Christ by planting a network of healthy churches. Our goal is to be used by God to impact the Southeast for His kingdom by changing the spiritual landscape of this entire area from one that worships and idolizes nature, leisure, and individualism to a community of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ that worship the one true God. We believe this is only possible through movement formation and development of Catalyst Family of church planters, launch team members, and various missionaries who through collaboration with the Gospel of Grace cross the culture and cause response, development, and lasting change.

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About the Tampa Bay Area

· Spiritually open people who are ready to respond to God when His gospel is presented through an authentic and culturally relevant community of faith. Florida has an average church attendance percentage (15.1%) lower than the national average (18.7%).

· Growing population of over 4 million people with 9% growth in population expected annually. This county has the Youngest demographic in Florida (18-40 years old) nearly 42% of Tampa Bay’s population is in the highly desirable target 18-40 age group.

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· We believe that we have been called by God to church planting because is the single most effective form of evangelism today, and the best method for achieving the common objective of reaching all of North America with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. New churches grow faster than established churches because new churches are formed around impacting entire communities and reaching the un-churched versus an emphasis of taking care of existing members in established churches. People are also more open to change in new churches and thus excited about trying new and innovative ideas which, in turn, attract other people. New churches also encourage the raising up of new leaders that may otherwise not readily get or seek leadership opportunities in existing churches. This is an important consideration given that a church’s ability to identify, empower, and equip kingdom-minded leaders largely determines the level of its success. To accomplish our vision we have joined with Converge Southeast.

The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region. For more information about Converge south east please visit their website at:

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http://convergesoutheast.net/

 

The focus of Converge Southeast is staring new and healthy churches throughout the region.

Converge World Wide Affirmation of Faith

http://www.convergesoutheast.net/content/view/61/89/

Watch this Video Slideshow:

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http://www.goodmanson.com/wp-content/Post-Christian-ChurchPlanting.html

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Are You Living A Life Of Significance?

Most of us, at some point in our lives will ask ourselves? What is my Purpose in Life? How can I make an Impact? We want to invite you on an exciting journey. One that will not only transform your life as you encounter the life-changing message of the Gospel of Grace, but also one that will transform a city. As you walk this journey know that you are not alone! There are others that have similar passion. Individuals share the vision of Compass Chapel. This strategy will encourage you to ask the following questions? How Can I Be Equipped  To Live A Life Of Significance and teach others to be equipped to cross the culture with the Gospel of Grace?

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Compass Chapel will offer you individual mentorship, Church planting team service opportunities, partnership  and internship. This will provide a realistic experience that provides face-to-face opportunities to communicate and interact with others. It will take you to exceptional places full of intrigue and growth as you consider God’s purposes for your life. Through a series of Launch team learning activities and individual mentorship, your ability to add value to your own life and make a significant impact in the lives of others will be enhanced. With each step you take, you will encounter opportunities to attend, get involved, and to mentor others in their new found faith.

How Can I Become Involved In Transforming My City?

First hand experiences at making a positive difference by connecting you with real opportunities to make an impact. Your journey never ends! To live a life of significance, the journey is continuous. A process whereby the more you become involved, the more you discover who you are, and the more you personally will grow. We will develop several key initiatives that will demonstrate the person and values of Jesus Christ while meeting the unique needs of our city together. This vision will only become possible if you and others come together and get involved through collaboration. Under each initiative there are various ideas and opportunities that fall into simple levels of involvement. These levels will help you apply what you have learned through the training, use your God given gifts and abilities to enhance the overall city strategy, and provide moments for you to start spiritual conversations with someone.

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American Missionaries Wanted

At the time of this writing there are approximately 300 million people in North America. It is estimated that at least 200 million of them are lost without Christ as their personal Savior. The easiest solution to this lostness problem is to train and require the 100 million saved people to lead two people to Christ this year. Then all of North America will be saved. Sounds too good to be true, but the math works. God desires the church to be salt and light among the nations. We all pretty much agree that healthy church plants are the most effective method of evangelism and discipleship. So how do we start enough churches to reach 200 million people? Using the most common method available today, it will not be done. Training people for three years in seminary and sending them out will not be sufficient because of people, resources, and time. This method only allows us to begin a certain number of churches each year determined by the amount of resources to fund a pastor and the number of pastors available, which is limited to graduates from seminary.

Recruiting Bi-vocational Church Planters and Missionaries Tampa Bay Area

What is a Bi-vocational?

By most definitions, a bi-vocational church planter is someone who starts a church or is on the launch team who assists in the planting of churches, and gains part of his personal income from an outside source and part from the church once the church is launched. This outside income could be from work, investments, retirement, or any other sources. The income from the church could be as little or as great as plausible. It could include housing allowance, travel allowance, annuity, or any other form of income.

Usually, these agreements can be seen in one of the following arrangements:

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1. The church cannot pay a livable wage at first and the pastor or launch team member works anywhere from 20 to 40 hours in a secular job to support his family.
2. The church planter or launch team member has a very adequate profession and wants to only accept a token of his worth to the church, such as travel or annuity.

3. The church plant cannot pay a livable wage, so the church planter or launch team member accepts another ministry position, such as a part-time staff member in another church.

4. The church can pay a livable salary, but the pastor or launch team member needs to help in other areas of ministry; therefore, they release him a day or two per week to hold another ministry job.
5. The church planter or launch team member desires to have some time in the workforce to meet people who do not know Christ. This is an intentional part of his church planting strategy and intention part of development of this catalyst family .
6. Sometimes a church planter or launch team member just does not want to be in financial bondage to a church body such as the apostle Paul-and desires to stay bi-vocational for this reason.

7. Finally, this could be a retired person who sees the need for a new church plant and steps up to the plate. Using his retirement as his primary source of income, he takes a small stipend from the church (such as a housing allowance, which can be a tax advantage.)
8. As you can see, there can be any mix of possibilities as God would lead.

We are looking for various types of people from all races and cultural backgrounds to form a team that have first given themselves to the Lord and them to one another as a Catalyst family to form a movement with Converge Southeast. This is an opportunity to get involved with a church planting team with other church planters, launch team members, and other American missionaries who are going to be testing various methodologies, processes, ideas, and using this fallen world as a laboratory. Do you want to come to a place where the sky is the limit? Every idea is cared about and we together create movement. We are looking to put together the most amazing team of missionaries and church planters from all over the United States. We together by working to collaborate through the numerous levels and stages of church planting can make a greater impact by planting not just one church, but many. Individually available help each other fulfill each others God given hopes, dreams, vision, and destines through the Body of Christ. We can Start a Movement together and change the landscape of our culture and the very culture of church planting by making it collaborative, instead of focusing all the pressure upon just the individual church planter and his family. We believe this is only possible through movement formation and development of Catalyst Family of church planters, launch team members, and various missionaries who through collaboration with the Gospel of Grace cross the culture and cause response, development, and lasting change.

Qualifications:

Has A "Visionizing" Capacity. Is One who

Persuasively sells the Vision to the people and Believes in God’s capacity to accomplish great things.

Intrinsically motivated is one who

Has stick-to-itiveness and is persistent. Is a self starter and is willing to build from nothing.

Ability to create ownership of ministry. Is one who

Helps others to feel responsible for the growth and success of the ministry. Wins the commitment of the people to the Vision.

Ability to relate to the unchurched people. Is one who:

Communicates in a style easily understood by the unchurched. Understands the "psychology" or mentality of the unchurched.

Manages family well. Is one who:

Has a spouse who is a partner in the ministry according to her gifts. Models wholesome family life before the church and the community.    

Effectively Builds Relationships. Is one who:

Makes others feel secure and comfortable in his presence. Does not respond in a judgmental or prejudicial fashion to new people.

Committed to Church Growth. Is one who:

Appreciates steady and consistent growth without looking for "quick success." Is committed to numerical growth within the context of spiritual and relational growth.  

Responsive to the Community. Is one who:

Understands the culture of the community and collaboration. Adapts the philosophy of ministry to the character of the community.   

Utilizes the giftedness of others. He is one who:

Releases and equips people to do the task of ministry. Matches people with ministry needs and opportunities according to giftedness.

Flexibility and adaptability. He is one who:

Can cope effectively with ambiguity. Copes effectively with constant and abrupt change.

Building a cohesive church body. He is one who:

Quickly includes newcomers into a network of relationships or meaningful church activities. Monitors the morale of the people.

Resilience and Determination. He is one who:

Can ride the ups and downs.   Can rebound from loss, disappointments and failures.

Exercises faith. He is one who:

Believes in the power of God. His life is marked by expectation and hope.

If this sounds like you, maybe it is time for an interview assessment.

To request information about an Interview contact:

We are not a Funding Agency we are a Collaborative Network of Missionaries who are working for one another. We do not fund or give grants to church plants or church planters looking for funding.

We do give our Friendship, Love, Care and Prayers through partnership.

Contact: Teddy Awad
compasschapel@gmail.com
http://compasschapel.blogspot.com/
410-808-6483
Or call toll free 1-877-702-2GOD

Please review our Church plant proposal and ideas at our Blog for more detailed information and vision before contacting us:
http://compasschapel.blogspot.com/

Launch Team Member- Development of Movemental Christianity in Tampa Bay Area

Has A “Visionizing” Capacity. Is One who

Persuasively sells the Vision to the people and Believes in God’s capacity to accomplish great things.

Intrinsically motivated is one who

Has stick-to-itiveness and is persistent. Is a self starter and is willing to build from nothing.

Ability to create ownership of ministry. Is one who

Helps others to feel responsible for the growth and success of the ministry. Wins the commitment of the people to the Vision.

Ability to relate to the unchurched people. Is one who:

Communicates in a style easily understood by the unchurched. Understands the “psychology” or mentality of the unchurched.

Manages family well. Is one who:

Has a spouse who is a partner in the ministry according to her gifts. Models wholesome family life before the church and the community.

Effectively Builds Relationships. Is one who:

Makes others feel secure and comfortable in his presence. Does not respond in a judgmental or prejudicial fashion to new people.

Committed to Church Growth. Is one who:

Appreciates steady and consistent growth without looking for “quick success.” Is committed to numerical growth within the context of spiritual and relational growth.

Responsive to the Community. Is one who:

Understands the culture of the community and collaboration. Adapts the philosophy of ministry to the character of the community.

Utilizes the giftedness of others. He is one who:

Releases and equips people to do the task of ministry. Matches people with ministry needs and opportunities according to giftedness.

Flexibility and adaptability. He is one who:

Can cope effectively with ambiguity. Copes effectively with constant and abrupt change.

Building a cohesive church body. He is one who:

Quickly includes newcomers into a network of relationships or meaningful church activities. Monitors the morale of the people.

Resilience and Determination. He is one who:

Can ride the ups and downs. Can rebound from loss, disappointments and failures.

Exercises faith. He is one who:

Believes in the power of God.

His life is marked by expectation and hope.

If a few of these characteristics sounds like you and your family, maybe it is time for an interview.

To request information about an Interview contact:

Contact: Teddy Awad

compasschapel@gmail.com

http://compasschapel.blogspot.com/

410-808-6483

Or call toll free 1-877-702-2GOD

We are not a Funding Agency we are a Collaborative Network of Missionaries who are working for one another. We do not fund or give grants to church plants or church planters looking for funding.

We do give our Friendship, Love, Care and Prayers through partnership.

Please review our Church plant proposal and ideas at our Blog for more detailed information and vision before contacting us:

http://compasschapel.blogspot.com/

Knowing our identity

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Knowing our identity in Jesus Christ is crucially important – a major key – to walking in ever-increasing spiritual victory.  You will struggle to one degree or another your entire Christian life if you don’t learn and believe WHO God the Father says you are IN Jesus Christ.

Any time a believer is in disagreement with what God says about them from the scriptures below, (there are more promises than what we’ve listed, by the way) they must quit believing the devil’s lies, and start believing what God’s Word says about them, which is Truth (Godly FACT!).  In so doing, one is waging wise, effective spiritual warfare against the devouring attacks of the devil against them.

1 Peter 5:8-9 alerts Christian believers: "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings (attacks to devour your joy, peace and faith, in one form or another – explanation ours) are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

Our ongoing, daily confession of what God’s WORD says about us is one of the most vital means of "resisting the devil" God has given Christian believers.  If we don’t confess the promises of God, once we know what they are, it usually means we don’t believe them either…which only gives the devil greater influence in our lives.

Remember … Satan has little influence over the Christian believer when we refuse to believe his lies.  But if we do believe his lies, that gives him increased influence over us…giving him an opening to harass (oppress – devour) us in even greater measure. 

Another important note regarding the promises listed below.  These promises are ONLY given to us because of what Jesus Christ accomplished for us on the cross.  We must never think of ourselves as so "wonderful" or so "deserving" that God gave us His promises because we are worthy to receive them.  God makes it very clear in scripture that no human is worthy to receive the unfathomable riches He has given us in Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ alone is the only One worthy to receive God the Father’s eternal blessings, and once we come to agreement with that fact, it makes the eternal salvation Jesus Christ has secured and given us even more priceless! 

God forbid that any one of us thinks we deserve this priceless gift of eternal salvation and all the blessings that come with it through eternity.  We must always remember that what we really deserve is eternal punishment in hell because we are sinners.  Yet in God’s love and mercy, He provided a way…He provided an escape from eternal damnation.  The miracle of the exchanged life is our escape.  Jesus became our sin … so we could inherit His righteousness – His holiness.  Jesus took our punishment at the cross for our sins…so we could be freed from punishment. 

Arrogance and boasting about our exchanged life in Jesus Christ has no place for God’s people.  As believers in Jesus Christ, you and I are nothing but sinners saved by God’s grace.  That’s the first truth God wants us realizing.  But God says we are also something ELSE!  He says that in Jesus Christ, we are also Godly saints who occasionally sin now…but one day in eternity will never sin again! 

God has given us His promises of our position in Jesus Christ for at least two reasons that I’m aware of:

1)  To wage more effective spiritual warfare against demonic powers — actively applying the Ephesians 6:16 "shield of faith."
2)  To help us stay motivated to daily keep striving to live up to what God desires for us to become. 

What does God the Father desire that we become?  More Christ-like, in every way.  God wills it to happen, but it’s not going to happen by our just talking about it, or wishing it to happen.  It will only happen as we make Christ-like decisions.  That requires action on our part, doesn’t it?

Therefore, let the promises from God below be the "ammunition" to fire back at demonic powers firing their poisonous bullets (fiery darts) at you … using them wisely and appropriately for that reason, and secondly, use them as catalysts in striving to be more Christ-like:



IN and THROUGH Jesus Christ, this is what God the Father says about me …

  • In Jesus Christ, God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which liveth and abideth forever.  I Peter 1:23

  • Through Jesus Christ, able to endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3

  • In Jesus Christ, forgiven of all my sins and washed in His shed Blood. Eph 1:7; Heb 9:14; Col 1:14; I John 2:12, I John 1:9

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have eternal life.  John 3:36

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have passed from death into life.  John 5:24

  • Through Jesus Christ, out of my innermost being will flow rivers of living water.  John 7:38

  • Through Jesus Christ, the truth shall set me free.  John 8:31-32

  • Through Jesus Christ, if I ask what God has promised, in Jesus name, He will do it.  (As long as it is the Father’s will for me, of course.  What we can miss in reading John Chapters 14 & 15 is that God desires above all things that we make it our number one purpose as Christians to strive to allow the Holy Spirit to grow Christ-like fruit in our lives. [See: Galatians 5:22-24 to know what these "fruits" are]. Because God above all else is looking for Christ-like character growth in our lives, we sometimes struggle wondering WHY God doesn’t grant us whatever we ask of Him. Though many will disagree with me, wh

    ich is their right, I have yet to find one ironclad guarantee in the Bible that will motivate God to answer every prayer I pray the way I want Him to answer it.  God desires that we have confidence when we pray to Him, but He also desires that we honor Him by our acknowledging that we accept however He responds to our prayers, simply because He’s the only one who knows all things, understands all things, and knows what is BEST for each of us at any given time, and for others we pray for).  John 14:14; John 15:7-8

  • I am in Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ is in me.  John 14:20

  • In Jesus Christ and through Jesus Christ, peace is mine.  John 14:27

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I am loved by the Father.  John 16:27

  • In Jesus Christ, I belong to God.  I am His.  John 17:9

  • In Jesus Christ, I am protected from the evil one. John 17:15  (As I implement Ephesians 6:10-18.  This is not to assume I am exempt from demonic attacks.  The Apostle Paul wasn’t, and he is the one the Holy Spirit used to write the book of Ephesians, among other Books where Paul speaks of the persecution of Satan he faced through the religious people who opposed Jesus.  The Apostle Peter also experienced spiritual warfare, which fully qualified him to write by unction of God the Holy Spirit:  "Be sober, be alert, because your adversary, the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."  [See: 1 Peter 5:8].  Peter is not writing this to the unsaved.  He is writing it to the Body of Christ, the Church – born again believers.  As the balanced counsel goes forth from mature believers: Christians are never to fear what Satan can do them, but neither are they ever to become complacent, nor ignorant of his devices and strategies to rob them of their peace and joy and life (love for God) in Christ Jesus).

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am being sanctified by the truth of God’s Word (as I believe it and obey it).  John 17:17

  • I am in Jesus Christ and loved by the Father.  John 17:23

  • In Jesus Christ, I have forgiveness of sins through Christ.  Acts 13:38; 1 John 1:9

  • In Christ, I am among the called of Jesus Christ.  Romans 1:6

  • In Christ, I am beloved of God, called to be a saint.  Romans 1:7

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been justified by faith, and I have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 5:1

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am saved solely by God’s grace and the faith God gives me to trust Him for my salvationBeyond trusting, there is absolutely nothing I could possibly do to earn that salvation, nor must I ever think that I somehow deserve this salvation. Salvation is the gift of God, from God.  Ephesians 2:8

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have perseverance, character and hope, when I purpose to glory in my tribulations, (rather than constantly complain about them, or become angry and bitter at God for allowing them to happen to me, which is what demonic spirits serving Satan delights seeing happen to you and I!)  Romans 5:3-4 

  • Through Jesus Christ, the love of God has been poured out in my heart through Jesus’ death.  Romans 5:5

  • In Jesus Christ, I will eventually reign in life through the obedience of Christ Jesus to the Father.  Romans 5:17

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been made righteous through the obedience of Christ.  Romans 5:19; 2 Corinthians 5:21

  • Through Jesus Christ, because I have been given the righteousness Christ had and has, I now am commanded of God to diligently strive daily to live up to this righteousness that Christ secured for me.  (Not giving into temptations to sin, in other words, walking in obedience to the Word of Truth).  1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22

  • In Jesus Christ, I died with Christ when He died.  Romans 6:2

  • In and through Jesus Christ, because Christ rose from the dead, I have been raised from the spiritually dead to walk in newness of spiritual life through Christ.  Romans 6:4

  • Through Jesus Christ, I no longer need to be a slave to sin, because God has given me His power in Christ to became a vessel to holiness and obedience.   Romans 6:6

  • In Jesus Christ and through the strength and power of Christ, I AM an overcomer.  Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

  • In my own strength and own power, I can accomplish nothing that pleases God. John 15:5

  • Through Jesus Christ, what I purpose to do daily is seek the help of the Holy Spirit to help me understand when I am sinning; help me understand why God doesn’t want me committing that sin; and then help me overcome that sin(s) in my life.  Romans 8:13 

  • In Jesus Christ, I am not under law, but under grace.  Before Christ died for sinners on the cross, I was under the law.  To be saved, I was to try to obey t

    he 10 commandments (which the Bible says no one can do, though Christ did).  After Christ died for sinners on the cross, I was under grace.  Under grace, I no longer had to try to obey the 10 commandments to become saved, but rather, trust that Christ paid full penalty for all my sins, taking my full punishment for them.  And because I’m now under grace, I realize there is nothing to lose and everything to gain by my keeping the Ten Commandments, but without the resurrection power that is imparted to us in Christ and by the help of the Holy Spirit, we won’t be able to faithfully obey the Ten Commandments anyway for very long. Yet I must always remember lest the devil try to deceive me as the book of Galatians addresses, trying to keep the 10 commandments will not, and will never, save me from my sins, nor will it save anyone else.  Neither will restoring any daily sacrifice as was practiced in Old Testament times by the Jews save me or anyone else from my or their sins.  Romans 6:14; Galatians 5:18 

  • I once was a slave to sin before I was saved, but now that I am secure in my salvation in Christ, I desire to be a slave of righteousness (addicted to righteousness; right-relationship with God, in other words).  Romans 6:18

  • In Jesus Christ, I have now no condemnation because of who I am in Christ,   Romans 8:1

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have been set free from the law of sin and of death.  Romans 8:2

  • In Jesus Christ, I have spiritual life in my mortal body through His Spirit who indwells me.  Romans 8:11

  • In Christ Jesus, I am a child of God.  (When I wasn’t in Christ Jesus, I was a child of Satan).  Romans 8:16

  • Through Christ, I am an heir of God and fellow heir with Christ.  Romans 8:17

  • In Jesus Christ, all things are working ultimately together for my good, as I walk in God’s purposes and His will, in love. Romans 8:28; 1 John 5:3

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been justified and glorified in the mind of God, and I now strive to walk in obedience to the Word of Truth to glorify the One (Jesus Christ) who secured my justification and glorification.  Romans 8:30

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have a measure of faith.  Romans 12:3

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been given gifts, though I also know that I’m to desire supernatural gifts at all times imparted by the Holy Spirit, to glorify God.  Romans 12:6; 1 Corinthians 14:1

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I am to desire spiritual gifts, but diligently PURSUE love, because it was love that motivated and keeps motivating God to pursue me and you.  1 Corinthians 14:1

  • In and through Jesus Christ, whether I live or die, I am the Lord’s.  Romans 14:8

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a sanctified saint, (but living it out daily is a different matter, though it is God’s will that I eagerly strive to do so, with the help of the Holy Spirit and God’s Word!)  I Cor. 1:2

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been given the grace of God.  I Cor. 1:4

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been enriched in every way.  I Cor. 1:5

  • In Jesus Christ, I am called into fellowship with God.  I Cor. 1:9

  • In Jesus Christ, I qualify to be given wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. I Cor. 1:30

  • Because of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and my choice to identify with Him, I have been given God’s Spirit so I can understand what God has freely given.  I Cor. 2:12

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am God’s fellow worker, I am God’s field, God’s building.  I Cor. 3:9

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a temple of God in which the Spirit of God indwells, though I also realize that I can grieve the Spirit of God by giving place to ongoing sin…disobedience…teaching false doctrine…twisting scriptures out of context and/or proper scripture application.  I Cor. 3:16; Ephesians 4:30

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a holy temple of God I Cor. 3:17

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am one spirit with God’s Spirit, (though my flesh begs to differ far too often!)  I Cor. 6:17

  • In Jesus Christ, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in me, and because God says it is His temple, I strive to make it a holy temple daily through the help of Christ’s strength in me to walk in the Spirit rather than the flesh.  However, as a word of caution, no matter how much a person conquers areas of sin in their life, this is not, nor will it ever, be what saves them from their sins.  BELIEVING what Christ accomplished for us on the cross is what saves us.  Nothing less.  Nothing more.         I Cor. 6:19

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have been bought with a price, and I desire
    to honor God with my body, (which encompasses my spirit, my soul, and my physical body).
    I Cor. 6:20

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am Christ’s slave (though I’m not so arrogant nor naive to believe that my selfish and fleshly carnal nature has been stripped fully of its power to keep me from being a slave to it’s sinful desires, which is why I need to daily purpose to walk in the Spirit, so I don’t fulfill the lusts of my flesh).  I Cor. 7:22; Galatians 5:16-17

  • Through Jesus Christ, I will be raised from the dead imperishable.  I Cor. 15:52

  • Through Jesus Christ, I will put on immortality.  I Cor. 15:53

  • In Jesus Christ, I am comforted by God, so I can comfort others.  2 Cor. 1:4

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am delivered from the peril of spiritual death, providing I’m willing to give my ALL to God in obedience to maintain my deliverance.  2 Cor. 1:10

  • In and through Jesus Christ, He anointed me, and put His seal of ownership on me.  2 Cor. 1:22

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a fragrance of Christ to God among both the saved and the lost, as I behave like Christ would behave.  2 Cor. 2:15

  • In Christ, I am a letter of Christ being written.  2 Cor. 3:3

  • Through Christ, I am a minister of the new covenant of the Spirit of life.  2 Cor. 3:6

  • Through Christ, I am being transformed into the likeness of the Lord Jesus ever increasingly with glory from God the Father by the help of the Holy Spirit as I walk in obedience to His Word of Truth.  2 Cor. 3:18

  • In Jesus Christ, I have received mercy, and do not lose heart through Christ who strengthens me and by the help of the Holy Spirit.  2 Cor. 4:1

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have the Holy Spirit in my body.  2 Cor. 4:7

  • Through Jesus Christ, the life of Jesus is manifested in my body, as I diligently work in cooperation with the Holy Spirit to help me.    2 Cor. 4:10 See: Romans 8:13

  • Through Jesus Christ, my inner man is being renewed day by day.  2 Cor. 4:16

  • In Jesus Christ, I have a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.  2 Cor. 5:1

  • Through Jesus Christ, I live by faith, not by sight.  (That is, I live by faith in God’s wisely applied promises in His Word, and any rhema word(s) God has imparted to me.  Otherwise I may be living by presumption and/or assumption without even knowing, which can give demons an open door to trip me up). 2 Cor. 5:7

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a new spiritual creation; old things have passed away, and all things have become new.  2 Cor. 5:17

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am reconciled to God, and I have been given the ministry of reconciliation.  2 Cor. 5:18

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am an ambassador for Christ, imploring people to be reconciled to God.  2 Cor. 5:20

  • In Jesus Christ, I am the righteousness of God.  2 Cor. 5:21

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have grace from God so I can abound in every good work.  2 Cor. 9:8

  • In the love of God, I am Christ’s.  2 Cor. 10:7

  • Through God’s love and mercy and grace, Jesus Christ is in me.  2 Cor. 13:5

  • I am crucified with Jesus Christ, as the Apostle Paul was qualified to state, so I too in Christ want to be able to confidently proclaim this.  I no longer live but Christ lives in me, and the life that I live now, I live by faith in Christ."  Gal. 2:20 

  • I am a son of God through faith in Christ Jesus.  Gal. 3:26

  • I am one in Christ Jesus with all believers.  Gal. 3:28

  • I belong to Jesus Christ.  I am an heir through Christ according to the promise.  Gal. 3:29

  • In Jesus Christ and through Jesus Christ, I am a son of God.  Gal. 4:6

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.  Gal. 4:7

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have grace and peace.  Eph. 1:2

  • In Jesus Christ, I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.  No matter how difficult life may have been for me up to this point, or how difficult it might get in the future … nothing changes the fact that I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.  Once I’m in "heavenly places," my faith will become sight – halleluiah!  Eph. 1:3

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am chosen in Him.  Eph. 1:4

  • In and through Christ Jesus, I am holy and blameless in God’s sight.  Eph. 1:4

  • I am a son through Jesus Christ.  Eph. 1:5

  • In the beloved (Christ) I am accepted by God the Father unconditionally, which also means that I am loved unconditionally by God the Father in the beloved (Christ).  Eph. 1:6

  • Through Jesus Christ I have redemption and forgiveness. Eph. 1:7

  • Through Jesus Christ I have obtained an inheritance. Eph. 1:11

  • I have been sealed in Jesus Christ with the promised Holy Spirit.  Eph. 1:13

  • I am seated positionally with Jesus Christ in the heavenlies because of all that Christ accomplished for me by His going to the cross; fully realizing how secure I am in my relationship with God, but again, in and through Christ.  Eph. 1:20

  • In Jesus Christ, I am loved by God, and because I am loved by God, I demonstrate my love for Him and others by earnestly striving to keep His New Testament (New Covenant) commandments.  Yet keeping God’s commandments does not motivate God to love me more.  In Christ, I have all of God the Father’s unconditional love.  Obeying God’s New Testament commandments will bring God’s increased favor one way or the other, not His love.  Eph. 2:4; 1 John 5:3

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have been made alive together with Christ.  Eph. 2:5

  • In Jesus Christ, I have every right to feel confidently secure that I have been raised with Him and seated with Him in the heavenly places.  Eph. 2:6

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have been saved from my sins by grace through faith — this salvation of His forgiveness for my sins is a gift of God.  Eph. 2:8

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I am God’s workmanship created for good works.  Eph. 2:10

  • I have been brought near to God by the (shed) blood of Christ.  Eph. 2:13

  • Jesus Christ is my peace because He is at peace with the Father and the Holy Spirit, and He IS peace personified.  Eph. 2:14

  • Through Jesus Christ I have access in one Spirit to the Father.  Eph. 2:18

  • In Jesus Christ, I am no longer a stranger and alien, but I am a fellow citizen with the saints.  Eph. 2:19

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a fellow heir and fellow member of the body of Christ.  Eph. 3:6

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I am a fellow partaker of the promises of God.  Eph. 3:6

  • In Jesus Christ and through faith in Him, we have boldness and confident access to God the Father.  Eph. 3:12

  • Through Christ Jesus, I am strengthened with power through His Spirit in my inner man.  Eph. 3:16

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have a power source within me which is able to do abundantly beyond all that I ask or think.  Eph. 3:20

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been given grace.  Eph. 4:7

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been forgiven, so I forgive others through the strength (ability) Christ provides when I need it.  Eph. 4:32; Phil. 4:13

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am confident that He who began a good work in me will perfect it until the day (return) of Christ Jesus.  Phil. 1:6

  • Through Jesus Christ, God is at work within me both to will and to work for His good pleasure.  Phil. 2:13

  • Through Christ Jesus my Savior and Lord, I am a spiritual light in the world.  Phil. 2:15

  • In Jesus Christ, the peace of God guards my heart and mind as I pray with thanksgiving in everything.  Phil. 4:6,7

  • In Jesus Christ, I can do all things through Jesus Christ who
    strengthens me. (In accordance with the Father’s will, of course)
    Phil. 4:13

  • In Jesus Christ, God shall supply all my needs (not necessarily all my wants) according to His riches in glory.  Phil. 4:19

  • In Jesus Christ, the Father has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.  Col. 1:12

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of His beloved Son.  Col. 1:13

  • In and through Christ Jesus, I have redemption and the forgiveness of sins.  Col. 1:14

  • Jesus Christ is in me, the hope of glory.  Col. 1:27

  • In Jesus Christ I have already been made complete, yet until I reach heaven, I’m to live UP to that completeness! Col. 2:10 

  • In Jesus Christ I have been buried with Him in baptism.  In and through Christ I have been raised up with Him through faith.  Col. 2:12

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been made spiritually alive together with Him.  Col. 2:13

  • Through Jesus Christ, all my sin debt was paid in full at the cross.  Col. 2:14

  • I have been raised with Jesus Christ, and I set my heart on things above (things that are most important to God).  I have died (to my carnal, fleshly sinful nature), and my life (whatever pleases the Father) is hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:1-3

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of the Creator.  Col. 3:10

  • I am rescued by Jesus Christ from the coming wrath of God that will be poured out upon Earth.  I Thess. 1:10

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am taught by God to love others (treat others the way I want to be treated, in other words).  I Thess. 4:9

  • I will meet the Lord Jesus in the air and be with Him forever.  I Thess. 4:17

  • I am loved by the Lord.  God has chosen me in Christ from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth.  2 Thess. 2:13

  • The faithful Lord will strengthen and protect me from the evil one because of who I am in Jesus Christ (but I must also use my Ephesians 6:10-18 weapons of warfare that God has given me to use…not to let them sit in some dark corner of a closet to collect dust.)  2 Thess. 3:3

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have been called to eternal life.  I Tim. 6:12

  • Because of who I am in Jesus Christ, God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind — which happens to be nothing less than the very mind of Christ.  2 Tim. 1:7; 1 Cor. 2:16

  • The Lord has saved me and called me to a holy life, not according to my works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted me in Christ Jesus for all eternity.  2 Tim. 1:9

  • I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day (He returns to earth) because of what God secured for me in and through Christ Jesus the Word.  2 Tim. 1:12

  • Because of what Jesus Christ accomplished for me at the cross, The Holy Spirit dwells in me.  2 Tim. 1:14

  • In His love for me, He has purposed to redeem me from every lawless deed and purified me for His own possession as I purpose to walk in obedience to His commandments, yet knowing full well I may fall short of doing that from time to time.  Titus 2:14

  • The Holy Spirit has been poured out upon me richly through Jesus Christ my Savior.  Titus 3:6

  • I have been justified by His grace in Christ and made an heir through Christ in having the hope of eternal life.  Titus 3:7

  • Through the help of the Holy Spirit, I fix my thoughts on Jesus (what is important to Him), the apostle and high priest who I confess.  Heb. 3:1

  • Through Jesus Christ, I am a house of Jesus Christ.  Heb. 3:6

  • I have become a partaker of Christ through the divine will of the Father.  Heb. 3:14

  • As God has rested from His work, I have rested from my works (not trying to somehow be "good enough" to earn salvation (forgiveness for my sins), in other words, or be "worthy enough" to receive salvation), knowing that in Christ,

    I can feel secure that all the work necessary was accomplished by Christ on the cross to qualify me to stand in the presence of my Holy God this very moment without fear of eternal condemnation.  Heb. 4:10

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens.  Heb. 4:14

  • Through Jesus Christ, I have a high priest who can sympathize with my weaknesses.  Heb. 4:15

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I can approach the throne of grace with confidence, so I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need.  Heb. 4:16

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been made holy through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. (Although I realize that as long as I’m on this planet prior to Christ’s physical return, the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit will be ongoing in my life). Heb. 10:10

  • Through Jesus Christ, my heart has been sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and my body washed with pure water.  Heb. 10:22

  • Because of Jesus Christ, I have a great cloud of witnesses surrounding me who are also in Christ.  Heb. 12:1

  • Because I belong to Christ Jesus, God disciplines me for my good that I may share His holiness (this is referred to as the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit).  Positionally, in Christ, I have already been made holy and righteous.  Because of that truth, I am now to pursue holiness and righteousness, seeking to imitate the character of Jesus Christ in every way – daily.  Heb. 12:10; 2 Cor. 5:21

  • In Jesus Christ, I have received a kingdom which cannot be shaken, and I am thankful and worship God.  Heb. 12:28

  • Because of the security I have in and through Jesus Christ, God will never desert me nor forsake me.  Heb. 13:5   (Although I realize I’m not exempt from God’s testing, and the test of feeling forsaken is perhaps the most difficult test to go through, though God strongly desires that we pass it.)  Heb 13:5

  • Through the sacrifice Jesus Christ gave for my sins on the cross, I am made holy through Jesus’ own blood shed on the cross.  (Although I have not obtained a state of sinlessness either; until I receive my glorified body, I’m still fully capable of sinning). Heb. 13:12

  • Jesus has equipped me in every good thing to do His will, working in me that which is pleasing in His sight because I have chosen to identify with Him.  Heb. 13:21

  • In Jesus Christ, God generously and without reproach gives to me wisdom if I ask Him, but I must be patient to get it sometimes, and I must be willing to seek Godly counsel from others at times or it may not be given to me.  James 1:5

  • In Jesus Christ, God has promised to me the crown of life when I persevere under trial.  James 1:12

  • In His great mercy, I have been born again into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.  I Peter 1:3

  • In and through Jesus Christ, I have obtained an inheritance which can never perish, spoil, or fade away, reserved in heaven for me.  I Peter 1:4

  • I am protected by the power of God through faith until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time because of who I am in Christ. I Peter 1:5

  • Because He is holy, I am holy. (Positionally speaking, I am holy in Jesus Christ, which was given me as part of the eternal gift of salvation, accomplished on the cross for me by Christ.  Experientially, I  daily yield with the Holy Spirit to not give in to sinful temptation and believe lies about myself in Christ). 1 Peter 1:16

  • I was not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.  I Peter 1:18-19

  • I have been born again in and through Jesus Christ, not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and abiding Word of God.  I Peter 1:23

  • In Jesus Christ, I am a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a person for God’s own possession, that I may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called me out of (spiritual) darkness into His marvelous light.  I Peter 2:9

  • In Jesus Christ, I am part of the family of God, and I have received mercy.  I Peter 2:10

  • Through Christ Jesus, and by His wounds I am healed (the day He went to the cross for you and I and received the punishment for our sins), and have every right to trust Him for healing. This promise first addresses my Spiritual relationship with God, because our spirit man is what God is more concerned about than anything else – where we will spend eternity

  • In Jesus Christ, I have been made alive in the Spirit.  I Peter 3:18

  • The Spirit of glory and of God rests upon me because of who I am in ChristI Peter 4:14

  • Through Jesus Christ, His divine power has granted to me everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.  2 Peter 1:3

  • Through Jesus Christ, He has granted to me His precious and magnificent promises, in order that by them I might become a partaker of the divine nature, purposing to escape the corruption that is in the world by lust.  2 Peter 1:4

  • In and through Christ Jesus, I have been purified from my former sins.  (Any future sins I commit, I appropriate 1 John 1:9 and strive diligently to obey Romans 8:13 as I am temped to sin after that, yet fully realize that no one living on this planet obtains a state of perfect sinlessness – for any length of time that is – prior to receiving their glorified bodies at the resurrection of the just). 2 Peter 1:9

  • If I confess my sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive me and purify me from all unrighteousness, but I realize that I’m also to repent of my sin(s), which means to diligently strive to stop committing that same sin(s) in the future.   I John 1:9

  • In Jesus Christ, I am now a child of God.  I John 3:2

  • Because I keep His commandments through the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, for the glory of God, and do the things that are pleasing in His sight, whatever I ask, I receive from Him. 
    As Christians, you and I have the privilege of claiming this promise. God wants us to be confident when we pray to Him
    1 John 3:22



Grace

Of Grace

blocksGrace3 

"The believer is now, by faith in the Lord Jesus, shrouded under so perfect and blessed a righteousness, that this thundering law of Mount Sinai cannot find the least fault or diminution therein. This is called the righteousness of God without the law."

…As sound old Bunyan said

Romans 3:21-25

21But now the righteousness of God (1)apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, 22even the righteousness of God, (2)through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on (3)all who believe. For there is no difference; 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 (4)being justified (5)freely by His Grace (6) through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25whom God set forth(7) [as] a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed,

napkin evengelism

For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ" (John 1:17).
The most obvious and striking division of the Word of Truth is that between Law
and Grace…. It is vital to observe that Scripture never mingles these two principles.

Law is God prohibiting and requiring;
Grace is God beseeching and bestowing.

Law is a ministry of condemnation;
Grace is of forgiveness.

Law curses;
Grace redeems from that curse.

Law kills;
Grace makes alive.

Law shuts every mouth before God;
Grace opens every mouth to praise Him.

Law puts a great and guilty distance between man and God;
Grace makes guilty man nigh to God.

Law says "do and live";
Grace, "believe and live."

Law never had a missionary;
Grace is to be preached to every creature.

Law utterly condemns the best man;
Grace freely justifies the worst.

Law is a system of probation;
Grace, of favour.

Law stones an adulteress;
Grace says, "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."

Under law the sheep dies at the hand of the shepherd;

Under grace the Shepherd dies for the sheep.

Everywhere the Scriptures present law and grace in sharply contrasted spheres. The mingling of them in much of the current teaching of the day spoils both, for law is robbed of its terror, and grace of its freeness.

THE BELIEVER IS NOT UNDER THE LAW

Romans 6, after declaring the doctrine of the believer’s identification with Christ in
His death, of which baptism is the symbol (verses 1-10), begins, with verse 11, the declarations of the principles which should govern the walk of the believer-his rule of life. This is the subject of the remaining twelve verses. Verse 14 gives the great principle of his deliverance, not from the guilt of sin that is met by Christ’s blood, but from the dominion of sin-his bondage* under it. "For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace."

Lest this should lead to the monstrous Antinomianism of saying that therefore a godly life was not important, the Spirit immediately adds: "What then? Shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid" (Rom. 6:15). Surely every renewed heart answers "Amen" to this.

Then Romans 7 introduces another principle of deliverance from law. "Wherefore,
my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye
should he married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we
should bring forth fruit unto God. For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter" (Rom. 7:4-6). (This does not refer to the ceremonial law; see verse 7.)

A beautiful illustration of this principle is seen in a mother’s love for her child. The
law requires parents to care for their offspring and pronounces penalties for the willful neglect of them; but the land is full of happy mothers who tenderly care for their children in perfect ignorance of the existence of such a statute. The law is in their hearts.
It is instructive, in this connection, to remember that God’s appointed place for the tables of the law was within the ark of the testimony. With them were "the golden pot that had manna, and Aaron’s rod that budded" (Types: the one of Christ our wilderness bread, the other of resurrection, and both speaking of grace), while they were covered from sight by the golden mercy seat upon which was sprinkled the blood of atonement. The eye of God could see His broken law only through the blood that completely vindicated His justice and propitiated His wrath (Heb. 9:4-5).

It was reserved to modernists to wrench these holy and just but deathful tables from underneath the mercy seat and the atoning blood and erect them in Christian churches as the rule of Christian life.

Should this meet the eye of an unbeliever, he is affectionate

ly exhorted to accept the true sentence of that holy and just law which he has violated: "For there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:22-23).
In Christ such will find a perfect and eternal salvation, as it is written:
"If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that
God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved" (Rom. 10:9); for Christ is "the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth" (Rom. 10:4).

Christ Incarnate in the Culture?

Are we Going to engage our Culture?

In the beginning the Word already existed. He was with God, and He was God. He was in the beginning with God. He created everything there is. Nothing exists that he didn’t make. Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it”. So the Word became human and lived here on earth among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the only Son of the Father.” (John 1:1-5; 14 NLT)
…”having a form of godliness but denying its power” (2 Tim 3:5).

ARE WE STUCK ON LIVING Christian PRINCIPLES?

God never called us to to live by Christian principles. He calls us to live in relationship with the Living God, Jesus Christ. We are to literally live an incarnate life moment by moment. Asking God to help us when we fail to get up quicker than the last time we have failed. Incarnation living is to live life from not our own self or our own desires. Incarnation living is to represent in a bodily form Christ who is supplying our life from within as our source. When we embody Christ to those around us we are representing the pierced hands, feet, and speared side of Christ. We are helping people to the heart of God through in living form being who Christ is and all that he has done by Grace not representing oneself, we represent a Kingdom here on earth because Christ who is our King reigning and ruling from our hearts as a channel of His kingship to those of another kingdom. We make the subjective,objective and through having God’s interests, thoughts and feelings live them through our Human spirit that has been regenerated inwardly to outward representation of the Throne of God that is with in us now. When we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit, who is our Source that has internally transfigured us from within. We are by every moment the reality of Christ to the world by manifesting the Glory from within our very lives demonstrate plainly, relevantly, and practically the bodily form of God upon this earth from our new hearts and new nature. Our new nature with in us was birthed from above and from within ourselves so it does not depend upon our own effort to have God be channeled or flows out from us. God the Holy Spirit is the Living Water that will flow through us to make obvious and apparent who God is and what He has already performed and accomplished. The unfinished work of God is to emerge the Finished work of God to the Lost and depraved world around us through our lives as we are the manifestation of the invisible God. We are the visible and external embodied truth of God for God’s Truth lives within us we can be the personification of Christ who has preeminence of our lives. This means that we live the personal qualities of God’s nature that lives within our new hearts and by our new Christly minds.

What is Incarnational Living ?

Incarnational living finds its source in the love and concern of God for His creation. God proved, in a real way, His care for humankind by becoming human being. It must be this love of God that embraces us and motivates us, in turn, to care for others.

Without giving up His divine character, Jesus became fully immersed within the culture of the people to whom He brought the excellent News. He was part of the culture, yet transcended it. He lived contentedly surrounded by the culture, yet was a representative of transformation. The incarnation is a difficult to comprehend and exist within the world of the un-churched culture. We must make the Great News culturally relevant to them, and take it into their world.

Outreach to the un-churched must consider the issues of incarnation by going where people go, and living in their world. The methods we use to reach them must be based upon developing authentic relationships that are living. We must model a lifestyle of Christ-likeness in the context of friendship and serving people as Christ has served us. The church must meet the needs of the un-churched within the world in which they live, instead of confrontational evangelism, practicing servant evangelism and living an incarnate life as living epistles that can be easily read, overflowing with the life of Christ from within as a follower of Christ.

Because Jesus is love incarnate, He chose to leave the glory of heaven and dwell among men. Think about this… God the eternal Son became man to dwell side by side with each of us that he created! Now we must prove through our lives that man can still dwell eternally side by side with God.

Incarnational living is not just about remembering an event in the past but the events of the future as well. We must come to realize that the best days are ahead of us, not behind. The Kingdom of God is just around the corner. We must stop yearning for the good old days and begin to look forward with joyous anticipation and excitement that the best is yet to come. God is yearning to be incarnate in your life…today and in all your tomorrows. The Kingdom of God is just ahead of us. It is time for us to look farther down the road. The fullness of His Glory is still yet to be revealed !!

Jesus, the God who became man, is our example. Without giving up His divine qualities, He nevertheless became fully immersed within the culture of the people to whom He brought the Great News. He was part of the culture, yet transcended it. He lived happily within the culture, yet was an agent of transformation. Are willing to be also agents of transformation today with our lives and engage culture.

Incarnate Defined:

Incarnate can be defined as:

To represent in or as if in bodily form; to embody: To represent in bodily or material form to include; to integrate: represent; materialize; externalize: make external or objective, to turn outward; To direct interest, thoughts, or feelings into a channel leading outside himself or herself. make external or objective, or give reality to, make manifest: To show or demonstrate plainly; reveal, exhibit, make plain, clear, obvious To make manifest or apparent to represent in or as if in bodily form: body forth Readily seen, perceived, or understood materialize : emerge To take physical form or shape. To cause to become real or actual , objectify: To make objective, external, or concrete, make external or objective, or give reality to, personalize: To take (a general remark or characterization) in a personal manner. To attribute human or personal qualities is to personify Make personal or more personal, personify: To think of or represent as having personality or the qualities, thoughts, or movements of a living being from within

One of the weaknesses of the Church today is that we preach and teach people principles without the relationship. We teach so much head knowledge and bible doctrine on one extreme or on another extreme share stories that contain little or no biblical truth nor how to apply it relevantly in practical Christian living through the Word of God. These extremes are so prevalent in the American or Western church that we have disengaged from the culture and put bars on our churches to keep the sick or those that don’t dress like us, act like us, talk like us, behave like us, or who really doubt and are just as skeptical as Apostle Thomas, which Christ came to seek and save out of the religion to bring them into a relationship. The church mostly has become institutionalized or become so established in organization it has lost its organic nature. The church is Christ’s Bride and is living we can try through religion t

o over program, make it consumer friendly, or become a movement of together through the organism of the Body of Christ here on earth. Instead it has become a refuge from the World, as an alternative to Changing the world by turning the World upside down by operating within the world but not of the world through living Christ incarnate to the lost and dying world.

The western church is big on ten step programs, “how-to” methods and acrostics to illustrate memorable ideas. There is a place for establishing principles to change negative behavior. However, we are not called to have a relationship with principles, but a living God. Living by principles is the equivalent to living by the law in the Old Testament. It is rooted in the Greek system of learning and is dependent upon our strength instead of being led and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Principle-based living is powerless living. This makes our Christian experience a religion instead of a relationship. “But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law” (Gal 5:18).

We read about principle-based followers in the book of Acts, “The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade. No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people” (Acts 5:12-14). There was a group of followers who liked being taught but never entered the game. The prophet Jeremiah tells us about the nature of God and His desire for every believer.

This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

When are we Going to Engaging our Culture?

When the church embraces this mandate, how does it engage the culture around it? On the one hand, everyone within the church interacts daily with the culture in which they live. On the other hand, the church exists as a subculture that is out of step with larger Western society. We as the Church have tended to be reactionary rather than missional. We are known for building high walls around our churches and doing in-reach really well with programing our people like prisoners are programmed in institutions. We have our unspoken rules in the church, that sound like prison programing instead of freedom and Grace. This lack of missionary spirit has contributed to the churches mass marketing approach and consumerist culture. Every culture that has no missionary presence will eventually become a secular society. We are loosing ground every day with thousands of churches closing or declining in attendance rapidly. If we do not wake up and sound the alarm we will look around ten years from now and wonder what has happened to the CHURCH.

Instead of engaging the culture in which we exist, we have been prone to long for the return of 1954. Rather than incarnate the body of Christ within our present culture, we tend to stand against the culture and chastise the deterioration of society.

Should the church seek to be relevant to the culture in which it exists? On the one hand, the Church must always be distinct from the world in which it exists. We must, for instance, be distinct in the way that we treat one another, as our love for one another is a witness to the power of Christ within our community. On the other hand, we can not be the body of Christ incarnate to this culture if we do not become part of this culture. Christ came into our world and entered a particular time and place. So we as the church becomes Incarnational, the body of Christ manifested within the culture of our missionfield which is everywhere we are in the culture.

One might argue that the church should be wholly distinct from culture, that the culture within the church should be formed only by scripture. This argument would be stronger if it were possible for any church to remain distinct from its culture.

Friend, have you been guilty of living a life based on principles instead of knowing the One who authored the principles? Invite Jesus to be Lord over your life and begin to spend time with Him every day. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you through every moment of your day.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

People are not perfect and neither is the Church!

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According to research conducted by Lifeway and North American Mission Board, people seem to like Jesus, but not His church…

  • Seventy-two percent of the people interviewed said they think the church is full of hypocrites.
  • Seventy-one percent of the respondents said they believe Jesus makes a positive difference in a person’s life.
  • Seventy-eight percent said they would ‘be willing to listen’ to someone who wanted

Here’s the church, and here’s the steeple, open the door and see all the people.

 
Is that what people actually think of the Church?

Is it a building with a bunch of people who use big words and have crazy doctrines?

The people are boring, the worship service is blah.

The sermon is condemning and you leave church feeling the same way you came, now condemned and a little confused.

Why do I even bother going in the first place?

Is this why people stay away from church?

All of these are vital questions for us together to honestly address our poor image as the church. Our image to the world around us. Our job is to bring the Bride home. We have been a great task, that is, a passionate love for the Bride of Christ, and the working with all our heart to bring her home and present her spotless and chaste. To this we give our lives, that Jesus Christ might be pleased with the one upon whom he has pledged His love. I believe we must work with the church of Jesus Christ, because the only way to do biblical missions is to through a biblical church. We must do everything according to Scriptures. It is true. The door is open more than ever before. I think about the countries that have not been reached, but if we are going to walked through the door, we must do it biblically. We must return to Scripture, not the methodologies of men. First, I want to talk about finding the church, in other words, stopping the slander. If you want to be endeared to me, then treat my wife with the greatest respect. If you want to be on my bad side, then slander my wife.

These references and stories below are not to slander the Bride of God. They are to Awaken us to the Gideon call to let God use you. The least expected person and filling it with the power of God as instruments of His Glory. We are just ordinary men and women who can lead the Revolution. The Cross-cultural revolution is burning in a few places. Let us find these places and become ablaze by the Word of Grace. The Grace Revival always begins when we look at ourselves with honesty and then repent when we are made aware where Grace is not working in our life. Look to Grace to do the work in our lives which will overflow to others. The revival will only come if the Bible is the explanation not human performance or man made solutions. Our Part is not to be critical abut God’s Bride, we are to make the changes necessary that we think need to be changed. I ask God is this just my opinion or is this your opinion Lord. If it is the Lord Jesus’s Opinion then I champion the cause of Christ. I place myself in the Flow of God and allow him to use me to make a impact in the church I attend.


I believe the church has a responsibility to be a shining light for the world to see, reaching out to those people who are lost (Philippians 2:15). The church should be the first source for those that need the love of God in their lives. But what is the driving force behind most young people’s attitude against the traditional church? Is it fear? Do they believe in God less now a days? Are they looking for answers instead of just  behavior modification?

It’s all too much when all God wants is just you.

I have talked to friends who don’t think they need to go to church to be a “Christian”. Many have been hurt by Pastors; they feel that they don’t know how to preach to their situations and problems or having to dealing with pre-marital sex, dating, drugs and peer pressure. Or they’re concerned with pastor’s begging for money, believing every time they come to church they’ll be badgered to open their wallets and give them something that folds not jiggles. Although this maybe true for some churches–meaning that it’s not the church for you–every church is different.

The one thing that is abundantly obvious to me is that church should be a place of worship. It should be a place that every one will experience the presence of God whether they realize it or not. It should be a place where you feel welcome. It should be a place where you feel at home. It should be a place where the refreshing Word of God is taught–not what the preacher saw happening in the hallway or some manmade doctrine, prohibiting makeup or pants. It should be a place where God is always present. It doesn’t matter what you wear. God wants your heart. Now if all of these things embody your church than you have a great church, if this is not the case, especially teaching the Word of God, then run, and run fast.

What does the bible say about going to church? Is this a must for “Christians” to attend a local church? I believe that it is essential as a believer to fellowship with others in a setting that allows you to grow in Christ (Hebrews 10:24-25) to be in an environment that is suitable for your personal growth. People are not perfect and neither is the Church. I think people forget that as children of God. We too have problems and situations that frustrate us, disappoint and even sadden us. The church needs to reestablish itself as place to build people up and not tear them down, there needs to be a new paradigm within the Church. Many churches have realized this, but many have not as well. They continue playing church and only reaching those that are in arms length, sitting in their pews.

Times have changed and the Church has to change right along with it, based wholly on God’s word.
I remember having this conversation while in college, concerning the problems with churches.  I learned about God, I learned His word, but I never learned to love this place called church. I learned that it was very ritualistic and some people believed in order to go to heaven you needed to go to church. Or in order to be a good “Christian” you had to be there every time the doors opened.

Now as a Father, I am overcome with the responsibility of teaching my children the value of being a “child of God” and not someone who goes to church every week. I want them to have a personal relationship with God that transcends the ideal of church and its doctrine and all that it entails. I want them to see the imperfection as well as the Godly attributes that people have. I want them to learn to study and read God’s word for themselves and not to wait for Sunday morning to hear the word.

For me, the Church is a place of fellowship, experiencing corporate worship in unity with other believers (Psalm 133:1). I don’t know about you, but I feel going to church is an important part of my walk and I don’t ever want to miss hearing a fresh new word, but I don’t feel guilty if I don’t make it every Sunday morning or Wednesday night, because the idea of church is not about the building, it’s the body of Christ as a whole, expanding His kingdom.

Do you want to expand HIS KINGDOM?????

Effective Biblical Counseling

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Everyone needs spiritual direction and Godly Counsel at some time in their lives. God did not make us to live totally isolated, independent lives one from another. God uses the analogy of sheep to describe us. Sheep are animals that need a lot of care. God is the Chief Shepherd, but He also appoints others under Himself to aid in the care of the flock.

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There are specific situations where getting Godly Counsel is appropriate:

· When you face major decisions such as marriage, career choice, and spiritual direction.

· When you face crisis issues such as divorce, job loss, major or long-term illness, financial loss, the death of someone near, and physical, mental, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse.

· When you face unresolved conflicts such as in family relations, employer-employee relations, other social relations, church relations, and civil relations.

· When you face addictions such as substance abuse (drug, alcohol, nicotine, and food), sexual addictions, work, ministry, or entertainment addictions, and fantasy addictions.

· When you face uncontrolled negative emotions and thoughts such as fear, anger, jealousy, bitterness, hate, suicide, depression, doubt, and guilt.

· When you have difficulties with sleep such as needing excessive amount of sleep, getting too little sleep, or having nightmares and excessive daydreams.

· When you experience physical problems without a known physical cause.

· When you become spiritually unsure or confused about your salvation from sin, your relationship with God, your spiritual future, or living a proper spiritual life.

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Which Counselor?

We should begin by understanding that there are various levels of counseling:

First, there is the friendship level. If you have a minor problem, you may go to a close friend for advice.

Second, there is the authority level. In certain situations you may seek the counsel of your parents, the boss, a pastor, a minister, civil or governmental authorities.

Third level is that of trained counselors. A trained counselor is someone who has specific training in the area of the problem that you are experiencing. God may work through all three of these levels.

There are also different general approaches to counseling. The sociologist will emphasize the importance of the influence of society as it molds the character of your life. The psychologist will emphasize the importance of "self" and the factors which influence "self-esteem". The psychiatrist will emphasize the importance of physical and chemical factors which influence your mental and emotional states. The biblical / pastoral counselor will emphasize importance of both the Living and the written Word of God and their influence upon your nature, character, and your inner life.

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Effective Counseling

First, effective counseling is to be Jesus-centered. David declared, "Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory" (Psalms 73:24). He also stated, "There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD" (Proverbs 21:30). Therefore, in a general sense, all good Godly counseling must come from the LORD. Furthermore, the life, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus must be the grounds for counsel. His life is our example. His death is our victory over sin. His resurrection is our assurance of new life. His ascension is our basis for victory over the enemy. The counselor’s only hope in counseling is for the Spirit to intervene in the life of the counselee. When the Spirit of God intervenes, miracles occur, and God changes our lives.

Second, effective counseling is to be Scriptural. Paul tells us that the Word is the basis for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in right living (II Timothy 3:16). David said, "Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counsellors" (Psalms 119:24). The Bible is our instruction manual. It is our guide for life. Things go wrong when we fail to follow the manual. James declares that we are to receive the engrafted Word that is able to save our souls (mind, will, and emotions) (James 1:21).

Third, effective counseling is to be spiritually inspired. Solomon, in a dream, asked for wisdom, and God gave it to him (I Kings 3:9, 12). God also promises to give us wisdom. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" (James 1:5). Wisdom is the ability to see from God’s perspective. However, one must not only see from God’s perspective, one also must be able to communicate what God wants communicated. Therefore, one must be filled with the Holy Spirit. The counselor needs to be like Stephen. "And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake" (Acts 6:10). Good counseling should have Isaiah 11:2 as a motto.

Fourth, effective counseling should be discerning. The enemy may appear as an angel of light (II Corinthians 11:14). Therefore, the counselor should test the spirits (I John 4:1). 

Fifth, effective counseling should be judged for accuracy. Th

e Word says, "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety" (Proverbs 11:14). There should be no "Lone Rangers" in counseling. Most counselors have some blind spots that are seen by others, but not by themselves. The enemy also is more likely to attack the lone sheep. Those in counseling should be willing to submit to counseling themselves if needed.

Sixth, effective counseling is mature. We should heed the warning from Scripture. Rehoboam turned the people of Israel against him because " . . . he forsook the counsel which the old men gave him, and took counsel with the young men that were brought up with him, that stood before him" (II Chronicles 10:8). Mature counsel also knows when to feed milk and when to feed meat (I Corinthians 3:2 and Hebrews 5:12). Mature counsel has learned to discern between good and bad (Hebrews 5:14). Mature counsel is stable (Ephesians 4:13-14) and exemplifies the counsel of Christ. The result of spiritually mature counsel is that you learn the difference between what is right and what is wrong, repent, and receive freedom.

Seventh, effective counseling is progressive. God does not always answer us when we ask. "And Saul asked counsel of God, Shall I go down after the Philistines? wilt thou deliver them into the hand of Israel? But he answered him not that day" (I Samuel 14:37). Sin blocks the receiving of God-inspired counsel. Sin in your life also may block you from making progress. The counselor always desires that you make spiritual progress. However, when the counselor discovers a wall of resistance in your life, he may be unable to give the counsel that he would like to give until that wall is torn down. God may say, "Do what I have told you to do before I give you any more instructions." Christian counseling is to address the wall of resistance in love and with the authority of Grace.

Eighth, effective counseling is to be conviction based not naturally opinionated. My opinion is to be what God says in His Word, this takes time and maturity for an individual to have his opinions processed through the Cross of Christ and through God’s Word.  Paul said, "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine" (II Timothy 4:2). The primary reason that most people need counsel is that they, in some way, have not obeyed God or have not been taught to follow the Spirit. These are usually from independent effort to live by our own abilities in self-sufficiency and reject the grace of God, this to live off the mark and path of God’s will. Therefore, one must come to see the roots of sin before he can get very far on the road to recovery.

Ninth, effective counseling needs to speak the truth in love. The truth will convince individuals in their minds  and then cause a turning of their mind from one direction to another about the direction they are on. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death" (II Corinthians 7:10). Paul declared that he had a clear conscience before God and man (Acts 24:16). Once one receives a clear conscience, he can see clearly to make a stand. David said, "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD" (Psalm 112:7). Paul declared, ". . . for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (II Timothy 1:12). He also exhorts us, "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord" (I Corinthians 15:58).

Tenth, effective counseling must be prayer-centered. The Christian counselor will begin the session with prayer. When Christian counselors pray, God often brings to the surface the real issues. When Christian counselors pray, you receive deliverance, healing, and direction for your life. When you pray you may receive forgiveness for your sins, eternal life, and confidence that God will continue to work in your life.

Eleventh, effective counseling must deal with the whole person (spirit, soul, and body). We need to realize that each of these areas is interrelated. Moreover, when spiritual issues are dealt with, the other areas are dramatically effected. John wrote, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth" (III John 1:2). When you confess bitterness as sin and forgive the offender, then depression may leave and the symptoms of arthritis may also disappear. When you turn worry over to the Lord, then the confusion leaves and stomach trouble leaves.

The Whole Person Approach

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Where does Whole Person Counseling get its name? The Bible speaks of the whole person as being spirit, soul, and body (I Thessalonians 5:23). The spirit pertains to the spiritual part of man and involves a relationship with God and other spiritual beings. The soul pertains to the psychological and social aspects and involves the mind, will, and emotions. The body pertains to the physical part and involves the senses of hearing, seeing, smelling,, and tasting, and feeling. Whole Person Counseling is based upon the concept that these three parts of man (spirit, soul, and body) have a profound influence, one upon the other. What we believe and what we think has an enormous effect upon our mental and emotional stability, our physical health, our relationships with others, and our overall degree of success in life. Therefore, Whole Person Counseling looks at the relationship between each of the parts of man, recognizing that counseling must deal with the Whole Person in order to have a positive, lasting effect upon one’s life. By God’s grace you may set each part (spirit, soul, and body) in its proper order and achieve victory over many of life’s most difficult problems.

CHOOSING A BIBLICAL COUNSELOR:

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These suggestions can help you make wise decisions in choosing a biblical counselor:

A counselor should be someone who:

1. loves people, perseveres through tough times, and is confident that Jesus works in his needy people

2. believes that God’s Word is designed and provided by God to provide sufficient counsel for all of life’s issues (2 Pet. 1:2-4; Heb. 4:12; 2 Tim. 3:16-17)

3. gives clear evidence of a vital personal relationship with Jesus Christ

4. your pastor (or trusted Christian friend) believes would provide wise, biblical, loving, and faithful counsel

Steps you should take

1. Pray. Ask God for wisdom as you seek a Christian counselor. God promises to give you wisdom if you ask for it in faith (James 1:5-8). As you step out in faith, he will direct your steps to the right counselor. (See also Psalm 23, Proverbs 16:3 and Philippians 4:6-9.)

2. Seek counsel from your church. If you belong to a church, seek the counsel of your pastor (Heb. 13:17) and other church leaders, as well as wise, trustworthy Christian friends. Will they help you? Can they recommend someone who can? The Bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; and 24:6). If you do not belong to a church, seek the counsel of godly, Bible-believing Christians. They may be able to recommend wise and godly pastors who can help shepherd you.

3. Seek outside counsel, if necessary. In some cases, wise, biblical counsel might not be found in the leadership of a church. Or you may not belong to a church, so you are trying to find biblical counsel outside the church context. In these cases, the "Questions to Ask" in the next section can help you make a wise decision.

Questions to Ask
The questions below will help you get a clearer picture of what a counselor believes and how he or she conducts the counseling sessions. If possible, ask the prospective counselor these questions on the phone before any appointment. Otherwise, discuss them during your first meeting. The kind of counselor you will want is one who is humble and committed to the Scripture. He or she should have no problem helping you in this way.

Write down the counselor’s answers and explain that you would like to consider them before continuing with counseling. Then talk to your pastor, elder, or wise Christian friend about the counselor’s answers in light of God’s Word.

Ask your prospective counselor

1. How would you describe your approach to counseling? How do you understand people’s problems? How do you help them grow and change through counseling? Please describe the process.

2. What books or other resources do you recommend on a regular basis? What books have most influenced your approach to counseling?

3. Are you a Christian? How does your faith affect your view and practice of counseling?

4. Do you bring Christian truth into your counseling practice? How? What role does Scripture play?

5. Do you pray with those you counsel?

6. Do you attend church? If so, where? How long have you been a member?

7. What is your educational and professional background? What role does it play?

8. Are you married? Do you have children? Have you ever been divorced? How does your marriage and family situation affect how you counsel people?

Remember…
Counseling is an interactive process. It is established and maintained on the basis of trust. Open and honest dialogue between a counselor and a counselee is the most important component of building trust. If you cannot establish this foundation early on, so that you are confident that the counselor will be wise, biblical, loving, and faithful in your interaction, you may need to look elsewhere. If you find a wise counselor who uses God’s Word to help you grow in your Christian walk, your marriage and your family, Scripture says you will be blessed!

This page draws from material developed by CCEF’s David Powlison and Family Life Today of Little Rock, AR.

Relapse Prevention

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Four emotions that cue relapse:

  1. Resentments
    Repeatedly, we are reminded that holding onto resentments will lead us back into addiction. Resentments keep us focused on the negative and let others live in our heads rent-free. When we hold onto resentments, we eventually feel like others are controlling us. Our immediate response is that we then need to control others. Holding onto resentments is a loss of freedom, a loss of justice, a loss of self-will, and an act of self-destruction. Therefore it becomes bitterness which is a frozen resentment in or subconscious and unconscious mind in a form of a scar (unhealed wound).
  2. Anger
    There is a difference between anger and rage. Anger is one of the four basic emotions that emerge from within us from infancy. The other three basic emotions are sadness, happiness and fear. Each of these basic emotions will be covered individually below.
    Anger is the feeling that comes from not having our basic needs met, being cornered or attacked, being violated, or unjustly having something taken from us.
    One of the big problems with anger is that many of us have never learned how to express healthy anger. Many of us were raised in alcoholic or abusive homes, where rage was a weapon of control. It was an emotion meant to impose control and engender fear in others. It was an emotion that was meant to inflict hurt, to create chaos, to start arguments that became the rationalization to continue to drink, gamble, or use drugs. Anger was used as a cover whenever more vulnerable feelings surfaced. The inappropriate use of anger is a classic example of the damage inflicted on children who grow up in an alcoholic home. Many of us experience tightened stomachs, get sweaty hands and underarms, start developing headaches, or feel a sense of insecurity whenever we hear voices raised, or hear individuals loudly disagreeing with each other. The immediate thought and reaction in such situations is that something bad is going to happen and someone is going to get hurt, quite possibly us.
    We feel insecure, we get headaches, we have an anxious feeling that runs throughout our bodies and we start thinking again about how unsafe we are. This vulnerability is similar to the vulnerability we felt as children, when we witnessed violence, or bore the brunt of violence (either verbal or physical). The all-or-nothing reaction kicks in automatically and we find ourselves filled with the same rage that, growing up, we hated in others.
    Today, we can change our experience with anger. Sharing with others in recovery allows us to experience the freedom of expression, followed by the capacity to leave things there or be propelled into positive and appropriate action. Compulsive people (alcoholics, gamblers, and drug addicts) tend to be thin-skinned, touchy, rebellious and suspicious. Think of how you respond yourself when someone comes on too strong. We all prefer the extended hand rather than the upraised fist.
  1. Fear
    Fear is the second of the four primary feelings. It is a healthy feeling because it serves as a warning device when something is wrong or we are in some danger. But what happens when this warning device fails?
    Unfortunately, many of us were either physically and/or verbally abused in childhood. This experience of abuse results in either a hyper-vigilant screening of the world around us, or in a shutting down of healthy fear. This all-or-nothing approach to self-protection either leaves us totally isolated and guarded, or involved in risky situations and behaviors. We can see that this type of black and white approach to fear is not healthy and is one of the dynamics that lead to relapse.

We are tempted to back off from going to Fellowship, to stop sharing, to isolate from our friends. We start to believe we are safe only when we are alone. This aloneness is a trigger for relapse because, by definition, it leaves us with only our own isolated thoughts. It eliminates the “we” part of the program. On the other hand, we may suddenly find ourselves hanging around “old friends” with whom we used to drink or get high. We might find ourselves going to bars again, thinking, “I haven’t drunk in quite some time and, now that football season is here, I need a distraction from all this stuff”. We might find ourselves in relationships that are abusive or unhealthy for some other reason. Again, the flip side of the hyper-vigilance coin is to fail to protect ourselves at all.

We are taught to maintain “constant vigilance” in areas related to our recovery. This means going back to the basics with such things as avoiding HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) because we are likely to lose sleep over the tragedy, isolate, carry anger, and go without eating because we are preoccupied with worry. We need to accept being more vulnerable at this time. Each of us has times of the year when we are more vulnerable than others–anniversary of a death, a pending divorce, loss of a job. This disaster is also a time of vulnerability, and we may need to double up on meetings to take care of ourselves.
In recovery, we have the choice of how we deal with FEAR.

To FEverything And Run or Face Everything And Recover.

  1. Sadness
    We will undoubtedly feel deep sadness from the pain of loss and suffering from tragedy. What do we do with the tears? Will the sadness ever go away? What do I do if the sadness brings up other losses I have experienced in my life? These are all questions that surface when allowing sadness to emerge. Let’s look at them.
    What do we do with the tears? First it is important to remind ourselves that tears are healthy. Tears are healing. Tears are an expression of sadness that allows both us and others to know the depth of pain we are in at this moment. Some people are comfortable sharing tears in the company of others. Others are more private about their crying. There is no right or wrong–what ever you are comfortable with is fine.
    Will the sadness ever go away? When we are in the middle of crying it seems that the tears will never stop. However, they do not go on forever. We do not stay sad forever. The wisdom of the program comes into play here, in the teaching, “and this too shall pass”. All feelings are like waves that come onto a beach. They come in waves and then subside. The program teaches us not to run from our feelings. Many of us are not used to the intensity of a feeling, particularly when we’re early on in recovery. Remember, recovery is about change. If nothing changes, “nothing changes.”

What do I do if the sadness brings up other losses I have experienced in my life? It is c

ommon for many of us to have unresolved losses. We may have been using when a parent died and have never gone through the grieving process. We may have not grieved the loss of marriage? We may be cut off from our children due to our irresponsible behavior while in active addiction. It can re-stimulate a sense of confusion and despair about going on in life. It is important to remember that Jesus Christ does not give us anything we are not ready to handle. We don’t always get what we want, but we do get what we need. This sadness and re-stimulation of unresolved grief can be a gift and a stimulus to go to that next level in recovery. Perhaps you have noticed that you have “plateaued” or are “treading water,” and have been avoiding certain topics with your mentor. Taking this next step of addressing unresolved losses could open up many new avenues for a healthy recovery.

If you have significant sadness and/or re-stimulated unresolved grief there are some basic actions that will help. Here are a few:

  • Put words to what you are experiencing, both on the inside and physically
  • Take first things first, so that you counter feeling overwhelmed by doing the next clean and sober thing
  • Restore hope and faith in whatever ways work for you
  • Work to achieve balance in your responses, don’t catastrophize or minimize
  • Pray and meditate on God’s Word
  • Exercise, eat well and get extra rest

Look into all four domains of relapse prevention: spiritual, mental, social, biological.

Am I meeting my spiritual needs through prayer, meditation, worship, and reading?

Am I meeting my mental needs through reading, writing, learning, and exploring meaningful ideas?

Am I meeting my social needs by having family and friends who support, encourage, and exhort me on a regular basis?

Am I meeting my biological needs by eating live foods, sleeping soundly, exercising regularly, etc.?

Mental Relapse

Different behaviors that cause

Irrational Thought and Mental Relapse:

1) CLOSED-MINDED:

Also called selective editing, selective attention, selective perception, selective abstracting, specific abstracting, mental filtering, mental editing, preferential selection, a cognitive bias, impaired abstract reasoning, ignoring, tunnel vision, being in a closed system, being closed to investigation or examination, "taking things out of context," "having blinders on," "seeing through rose colored glasses," "tailoring the facts to fit," "hearing only what you want to hear," and "seeing only what you want to see." This is the choosing of only some of your cognition’s for conscious processing, and, usually, just the good or just the bad. It can be basing the whole on only one or a few details while ignoring more important or other existing facts. For example, you may have a negative bias. Thus, you find the negative, the fault, the error to focus on, so that you can maintain your negative evaluations. Twenty good things may have happened, but you consciously notice only the one or two negative things. Or you may be Pollyannaish and notice only the few good things while ignoring the many bad.

2) DISCREDITING:

Also known as discounting, disqualifying, disconfirming, minimizing, undergeneralizing, the "binocular trick," being myopic or shortsighted, "missing the big picture," and "missing the forest for the trees." This is the error of reducing a lot of evidence to a little. For example, we can do this when we deny our compliments, achievements, and good qualities. Or, when we deny our faults, failings, and frailties. It is the error of under regarding the relative significance of events. Its opposite is dramatizing. Instead, consider other views.

3) DRAMATIZING:

Also known as magnifying, exaggerating, awfulizing, catastrophizing, sensationalizing, "making the news newsworthy," "taking things too seriously," "making a federal case out of it," "blowing things out of proportion," and "making mountains out of mole hills." It is "missing the trees for the forest," "seeing only the big picture," or being presbyopic or hypermetropic. Catastrophizing occurs when you make too much of an event, and imagine doom and gloom as the result of it. For example, you may believe that some insignificant error of yours will cause you to be fired. We can also sensationalize events to be good omens, harbingers of good fortune when they are no more than ordinary events. For example, you may believe that some small thing you did well will get you promoted. It is the error of over regarding the relative importance or meaning of evidence or events. Its opposite is discrediting. Instead, reality test the predictions. Keep track of their accuracy.

4) JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:

Also known as mind reading, fortune telling, assuming, just guessing, making arbitrary conclusions, making an invalid extrapolation, and making an arbitrary inference. It is the making of an inference about something that has little or no evidence to support it. We may assume that something is going to occur only to find out later that it had little or no chance to. It is making conclusions without much data to support them, and even in the face of greater contrary evidence. Instead, try other perspectives.

5) ONE-WAY-OR-THE-OTHER:

Also called absolutistic, extremist, dichotomous, polarized, dualistic, judgmental, linear, one-dimensional, pigeonhole, either-or, all-or-nothing, and black-or-white thinking. It is thinking in categorical extremes, placing all of experience into one of two categories. Extremist thinking can be characterized as the intolerance of ambiguity. It leads to the narrowing and constricting of thought pathways, and is the insistence of categorizing everything into extremes, into opposites, into one end of some continuum. The middle ground and-or the majority of
instances are not recognized. Instead of percentages it believes only in absolutes. Absolutes do occur, but not nearly as often as combinations of them or variations on them. Instead use both-and thinking. Often both ends of a continuum can be applied to the same event, and also additional information. Things can be good, neutral, bad, or mixes of each. Rarely is something a total loss, a total failure. Stop pigeonholing and instead note or use the following: gradations in between, moderate, intermediate, middle ground, intermediate range, some of the time, most of the time, but not all of the time, often, a few times, sometimes, a few times, partially, continuous dimensions, shades of gray, not discrete categories, on a continuum, relative rather than absolute standards, complexity, variability, diversity, bell curve, normal curve.

6) OVERGENERALIZING:

Also called global, broad, nonspecific, diffused, vague, and all-inclusive thinking. This is the error of taking a little evidence to be the proof of a lot of things: all-izing. It is the making of a general rule based only on isolated incidents, only on limited personal experience. For example, you may judge your or another’s behavior as always being inadequate if it was only a few times or even just once in the past. The classic examples are racism and sexism, for example, "All men are unfeeling brutes." Overgeneralizations are general conclusions about all situations based on a limited and unrepresentative sampling or polling. Instead, recognize the individuality and uniqueness of people, places, and things. Your experience alone is too little and too narrow to use to make rules, laws, standards, and definitions for most things. Walk a mile is someone else’s shoes.

7) PERSONALIZING:

Also known as being overly subjective, self-centered, the egocentric error, "taking things too personally," "can’t see past your nose," and having false ideas of reference. This is the self-centered activity of taking events to have personal meaning when they do not. It is the self-referencing of events, the connecting of events to yourself when there are no real connections. For example, you may overhear a conversation and assume it is about you. Or you may think the weather is plotting against you. Instead, learn to take ego out of the picture. People are reacting to a lot more in life than just you! Get out of yourself and into action.

Inward Transformation

transformation 

Stages of  Inward

Transformation

It is important to remember that you can be at different points in Inward Transformation for different issues. That is, you may be further along with one problem than another. Also, please remember not to let one problem that you are either not ready to deal with or are discouraged about stop you from receiving help for others you are willing to face.

 

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."–Proverbs 12:15

Releasing feelings only reinforces feelings.

1. Unaware of need for Inward Transformation

2. Aware of need for Inward Transformation

3. Consider Inward Transformation

4. Decide against Inward Transformation

5. Decide for Inward Transformation

6. Motivated to seek Inward Transformation

7. Seek Inward Transformation information precisely in God ‘s Word

8. Seek Inward Transformation resources

9. Discouraged about seeking

10. Stop seeking: Inward Transformation is short-circuited

11. Motivated to persevere with Inward Transformation

12. Make plan for Inward Transformation

13. Mentally motivated to work plan for Inward Transformation

14. Work at Inward Transformation plan mentally

15. Discouraged about working mentally

16. Motivated let God to finish plan of his Work of Inward Transformation

18. Inward Transformation occurs

19. Motivated to let God maintain Inward Transformation

22. Motivated to prevent relapse with God’s Word

23. Seek relapse information precisely in God’s Word

24. Make relapse prevention plan

25. Rethink with rational thoughts a maintenance plan

26. Discouraged about working rationally

27. Stop thinking rationally: Inward Transformation is short-circuited

28. Relapse: temporarily halt Inward Transformation

29. Motivated to recover Inward Transformation

30. Apply relapse plan

31. Recover Inward Transformation

32. Motivated to maintain Inward Transformation

33. Revise maintenance plan (e.g., include more motivation)

34. Revise relapse plan if needed (e.g., add new resources)

35. Work at revised maintenance plan

 

Discouragement

dealingwithdiscouragement

I Got this devotion from a Rick Warren Devotional.

Then I said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, ‘The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!’ So we continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out. Neh. 4:19-21 (NIV)

Discouragement is a disease unique to human beings, and it’s universal – eventually everyone gets it, including those in ministry. I have no doubt you’ve experienced discouragement at times, maybe many times. You might even be discouraged at this very moment.

So here’s what I’ve learned about battling discouragement:

WHAT CAUSES DISCOURAGEMENT?

#1 Cause – FATIGUE

When you’re physically or emotionally exhausted, you’re a prime candidate to be infected with discouragement.  Your defenses are lowered and things can seem bleaker than they really are.  This often occurs when you’re halfway through a major project and you get tired. This also can occur after great accomplishments where you know that God used you individually.

#2 Cause – FRUSTRATION

When unfinished tasks pile up, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed.  And when trivial matters or the unexpected interrupt you and prevent you from accomplishing what you really need to do, your frustration can easily produce discouragement. Frustration root because is fear, when we are living in fear we are not living in Faith. Only faith pleases God so we feel overwellmed and discouraged from our own fears that has slowly replaced our faith.

#3 Cause – FAILURE

Sometimes, your best laid plans fall apart – the project collapses – the deal falls through – no one shows up to the event.  How do you react?  Do you give in to self-pity?  Do you blame others?  As one man said, Just when I think I can makes ends meet – somebody moves the ends! That’s discouraging!

#4 Cause – FEAR

Fear is behind more discouragement than we’d like to admit.  The fear of criticism (What will they think?); the fear of responsibility (What if I can’t handle this?); and the fear of failure (What if I blow it?) can cause a major onset of the blues. when we are living in fear we are not living in Faith. Only faith pleases God so we feel overwhelmed and discouraged from our own fears that has slowly replaced our faith.

WHAT’S THE CURE FOR DISCOURAGEMENT?

There’s a fascinating story in the Bible about how a guy named Nehemiah mobilized the residents of Jerusalem to build a wall around the entire city.  Half way through the project, the citizens became discouraged and wanted to give up – because of the FOUR causes I’ve given. 

Here’s what Nehemiah taught about defeating discouragement (Nehemiah 4):

REST YOUR BODY

If you need a break – take one!  You’ll be more effective when you return to work.  If you’re burning the candle at both ends, you’re not as bright as you think!

REORGANIZE YOUR LIFE

Discouragement doesn’t necessarily mean you are doing the wrong thing.  It may just be that you are doing the right thing in the wrong way.  Try a new approach.  Shake things up a little.

REMEMBER GOD WILL HELP YOU

Just ask Him.  He can give you new energy.  There’s incredible motivating power in faith.

RESIST THE DISCOURAGEMENT

Fight back! Discouragement is a choice.  If you feel discouraged, it’s because you’ve chosen to feel that way.  No one is forcing you to feel bad.  Hang on!  Do what’s right in spite of your feelings.  No feeling lasts forever.

Recommended Site :

http://www.gracewalk.org/

Addictions Are About Behavior

Addictions Are About Behavior, Not Disease

addictiontitle

When it comes to thinking about addiction, opinions converge. Having bought into the addiction industry’s mantra, so-called social progressives But perhaps the greatest error made in the attempt at humane formulations about addiction is to cast as a disease what is essentially a problem of behavior.

The dangers of gathering more and more behaviors under the disease label is not something pharmacology moguls, politicians or health care professionals ruminate about, despite the ramifications for a society already committed to a morality lite and to diminished personal responsibility. In his book Diseasing of America, addiction researcher Stanton Peele breaks with this tradition. Disease conceptions of misbehavior are bad science and morally and intellectually sloppy, argues Peele. "Once we treat alcoholism and addiction as diseases, we cannot rule out that anything people do but shouldn’t is a disease, from crime to excessive sexuality to procrastination."

While the application of the medical disease model to addictions was developed to "remove the stigma from these behaviors", there is NO genetic marker for alcoholism or drug addiction. Still, the misconception that these behaviors are linked to a genetic vulnerability is aired repeatedly by the media, in the absence of evidence. The rationale for using the disease model to describe addiction even though it is intellectually dishonest is that medical treatment is effective.

Yet another deception. An overview of controlled studies indicates that "treated patients do not fare better than untreated people with the same problems." Of note is a 4500-subject-strong 1996 US epidemiological study conducted by the National Longitudinal Alcohol Epidemiological Survey. Treated alcoholics, it was found, were more heavily alcohol dependent on average than untreated alcoholics. Clearly a behavioral problem cannot be remedied by medical intervention. Addicts are cured when they decide to give up the habit.

The disease conception of addiction acts to isolate the noxious behavior from the person. Thus when we claim that drugs, much like the flu, "get a hold" of you, we conveniently deflect from that which mediates behavior: personality, values, character or lack thereof. Once someone becomes involved with drugs, we explain everything they do by saying it was due to the drugs, forgetting, in the process of this circular argument, that the source of the addiction is the person and not the drug. An honest look at drug-use means we cannot separate it from the person.

As Peele explains, addictive disorders are known only by the behaviors they describe. In the absence of the ongoing behavior there is no way of telling whether the person is, or will be addicted. "By claiming that alcoholics are alcoholics even if they haven’t drunk for fifteen years, alcoholism is made to seem less tied to drinking behavior and more like cancer," but "a person does not get over cancer by stopping a … behavior"… while "the sole and essential indicator of successful remission of alcoholism is that a person ceases to drink".

Any overdue blitz of the disease theory of addiction owes a great deal to Stanton Peele. So, here is an interview conducted with the author of Diseasing of America (1989). A psychologist and an attorney, Peele is an addiction expert with an international reputation. The author of 120 articles and eight books about chemical and relational addiction, Peele is a recipient of the Mark Keller Award from the Rutgers Center for Alcohol Studies, and the Lindesmith Award for Career Achievement in Scholarship from the American Drug Policy Foundation.

Q: Dr. Peele, do you believe addiction is a disease?

A: No. Most emphatically not. It has become the style to call negative behaviors, which people often experience as compelling motivation, "diseases." As though nail biting, overeating, and wife beating were like the malignant growth of cancer cells. Many self-defeating and anti-social behaviors have a common thread. People engage in them because they feel degraded and disapproved of, which feeds into their motivation to continue the negative behavior. But how ultimately do people stop drinking too much, overeating, and biting their nails? They feel, internally, that the balance of their desires and rewards is not to act this way; people make positive choices when they feel they have the opportunity to engage -and are supported – in more positive choices. The toughest addiction to quit is smoking. Right now about 50 million Americans have quit smoking, over 90% without a patch or formal therapy.

Q: How have we progressed to thinking about addiction as a disease?

A: We have developed a faith in medical advances that is steeped in the legend of the "microbe hunters", the generation of researchers and physicians who identified the bugs that cause many of the major killers of humans. This worship of medicine has become a fetish in North America.  If we can describe a malady in medical terms, we feel we have somehow conquered it. Yet with psychological disorders and problems of behavior, namely addictions – such labeling and accompanying medical mumbo jumbo have not led to improvement in treatment outcomes. In many ways, turning our sense of ourselves over to medicine seems to be making things worse. Surveys repeatedly confirm that a generation of education about addiction has led to people’s spiraling out of control now more than ever.

Q: What is the science on which the disease proponents of addiction base their demand for considering addiction a disease?

A: There is no inherited mechanism that leads a person to be unable to control their substance use, to go on tremendous binges, or to leave off their connection to people and environments in order to consume a substance. Genetic theories, being the modest things they are, can never explain the experience of loss of control. An overview of the research on alcohol and drugs NEVER supports the wild claims made by some proponents of the disease model. These claims reflect fundamentally antiscientific attitudes and a lack of understanding of the confluence of human motivation in response to experience, biology and external stimuli.

Consider this example: A 1996 headline in The New York Times, declared that brain images of addiction in action show its neural basis. The article reviewed research showing that many different drugs — namely heroin, alcohol, amphetamines or nicotine — activate common neural pathways.  Its author surmised that these drugs bathe the neurons at these sites so as to reduce natural supplies of dopamine, and thus stimulate a craving for more of the drugs to compensate for this depleted supply of the neurotransmitter. And this was taken to mean that addiction is purely brain driven.

In my critique of this folly I explain that a wide range of activities stimulate the same pleasure centers in the brain — including sex, eating, working, consuming chocolate. This should alert us to the fact t

hat these brain theories tell us nothing about differences in behavior, let alone addiction. Apparently, stimulation of a pleasure center is only one small component in the entire addiction syndrome. Moreover, if any activity can be pleasurable — from work, to sex, to parenting and so on — identifying activities as stimulating the pleasure center fails to explain why people find different things pleasurable and why different people react in destructive, addictive ways to some of these things, while others incorporate them into a balanced overall lifestyle.

Peele’s position is at odds within the drug reform movement. He is a proponent of harm reduction policies such as needle exchange, but is a strong opponent of a treatment industry that relies, for the most, on coercing addicts into rehabilitation.

Goals

 gotgoals

Goals provide direction in your life and nurture your motivation

1. The purpose toward which an endeavor is directed.

2. The specific target towards which is an objective

3. An objective or desired outcome

DEFINE YOUR GOALS

write-your-goals

Develop a written plan of your purpose in life. If an individual has no purpose in life they will lack the significance of motivation and when they lack motivation hopelessness is the result. When God created us, he created us with purpose, destiny, significance, and a sense of belonging. Then why do I feel empty, like there is a huge void that I am attempting to fill with other things, but God. This is because we were created to belong to God. We also were created to have a free volition or will, we have chosen to walk in independence from our source of life. Living naturally instead of spiritually is a choice. Independence comes from self-sufficiency and self- reliance. Our source thereby becomes our own self instead of God. This is what I Call the God shaped soul in our soul.

 

demotivators_goals1715_16007005

Joshua a five-point strategy

God gave Joshua a five-point strategy

1. Be clear in your direction.

In the first four verses of Joshua 1, God specifically outlines when and where Joshua is going. He knew exactly what God wanted him to do. If you’re going to be a leader that God can use, you must first be clear in your direction. We all need a goal, a dream. But those goals must be clear and specific. Nothing becomes dynamic until it becomes specific. And the more specific you are in your direction, the more you’ll find a magnetic pull that’ll take you along.

teamgoal

2. Be confident in your desires.

Once you know the direction that God wants you to take, you must have the confidence to move ahead. You can’t doubt what God’s called you to do. Doubt is the opposite of faith. The Bible says, “Whatever is not of faith is sin.”

Once you’ve set your goal the devil will get you to start questioning it. Is this really God’s will? What if I’m wrong? Do I really deserve this? Am I just being selfish or prideful?

Evidently this was a real problem for Joshua. He lacked confidence. He felt inadequate in his leadership. Sound familiar? I’ve identified with Joshua many times. God had to keep giving Joshua a pep talk. Four times in Joshua 1, God says, “Be determined and confident.”

Why? It isn’t the obstacles that keep you in the desert. It’s fear. Fear keeps you from being all that God wants you to be. It’s fear that keeps your church from growing how God wants it to grow. You must be confident in your desires.

3. Be committed to your decisions.

Once you’ve started, don’t look back. Joshua 1:9 says “Do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” God says stick with it. To be a success in life, you must outlast your critics. An oak tree is a little nut that refused to give its ground. Commitment is a key to accomplishment. If you don’t have commitment to your ministry, you’ll never finish anything.

What are you committed to? What are you willing to die for? Many people in your church are afraid to commit to anything. They begin one job and when it gets tough, they switch to something else.

When high achievers make a decision, they die by it. You can’t just jump across a canyon with several baby steps. You have to commit yourself to your goal. If you’re going to cross a canyon, you’ve got to go for it with gusto. It won’t work until you commit to making it work.

4. Be corrected by your defeats.

1. In chapter 1, verse 7, God tells Joshua, “Be strong and courageous. Be careful to obey all the law. Don’t turn from it to the right or to the left that you may be successful wherever you go.” He tells Joshua not to get sidetracked. When you have a failure, get back on track. Let God’s Word help you reorganize your ministry and your priorities. Mistakes are a part of life. You’re not perfect. The pencil eraser industry was built on your mistakes. If there weren’t such things as mistakes, we wouldn’

t have any need for erasers.

The difference between successful and non-successful people is not that successful people don’t fail. They do. It’s just that successful people learn from their failures. Corrections after defeats are the key to the future. Thomas Edison once said, “Don’t call it a failure; call it an education.” At Saddleback, our staff is highly educated! We’ve done more things that didn’t work than did. We’re not afraid to admit it when we’ve made a mistake and to learn from it. The road to success is paved with failure. But we’ve learned from those failures.

Joshua did too. Remember the story of Ai, the little dinky town that the Israelites came upon after their great victory at Jericho. They’d just taken on the greatest, most fortified city in the land (Jericho) and God had given a tremendous victory. They were getting a little confident and cocky. Then they began to presume upon God’s grace. When they had to take the little city of Ai, Joshua said, “Go out with a small battalion of troops.” They went out and were absolutely wiped out. When the news came back to Joshua, he threw himself onto the ground and prayed. He asked God what happened.

God tells him to get up, dust himself off, and get the sin out of the camp. Don’t just pray – do something. They later discovered that Achan had stolen three things even though God had said not to take plunder. Because he hid those things, his sin was causing the entire camp to suffer.

But Joshua had to discover the problem and take appropriate action. He learned by his defeats.

5. Be conscious of God’s dependability.

God promises enormous benefits in his Word as we trust him and follow him. Joshua 1 is full of God’s promises. He specifically promises Joshua four things:

a. Power: In verse 5 God says, “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you.” God tells Joshua to trust him and he’ll provide all of the power he could ever need.

b. Protection: He tells Joshua that nothing can harm him. In verse 5 he says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He’ll be with him always and protect him.

c. Prosperity: God says in verse 8 “Don’t let the book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night. Be careful to obey everything written in it. Then you’ll be prosperous and successful.” Prosperity is being everything God wants you to be, having God’s blessing your life, and using the talents he has given you. God guarantees that you’ll have more than you need if you trust in him.

d. Presence: That’s the best promise of all. In Joshua 1:9 God says, “I will be with you wherever you go.” Many times I’ve felt lonely in ministry, but God always gives me a new sense of his presence when I trust him.

Quotes on Goals

George Shinn: Goals Quotes
There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goals only with the help of others.

Scott Reed: Goals Quotes
This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.

Orison Swett Marden: Goals Quotes
We advance on our journey only when we face our goal, when we are confident and believe we are going to win out.

Maxwell Maltz: Goals Quotes
We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.

Henry David Thoreau: Goals Quotes
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success.

Zig Ziglar: Goals Quotes
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

Nido Qubein: Goals Quotes
When a goal matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to accomplish what at first seemed impossible.

Napoleon Hill: Goals Quotes
When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.

Greg Anderson: Goals Quotes
When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing — then we truly live life.

Denis Waitley: Goals Quotes
When you are in the valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb.

Les Brown: Goals: Motivation Quotes
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Edgar A. Guest: Goals: Motivation Quotes
You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.

Les Brown: Goals: Motivation Quotes
You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change.

Mark Victor Hansen: Goals: Motivation Quotes
You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own.

Tracy Brinkmann: Goals: Motivation Quotes
You must have an aim, a vision, a goal. For the man sailing through life with no destination or "port-of- call’, every wind is the wrong wind.

Les Brown: Goals: Motivation Quotes
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.

Ralph Marston: Goals: Motivation Quotes
Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

Bo Jackson: Quotes about Goals
Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there.

Tom Landry: Quotes about Goals
Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.

Herodotus: Quotes about Goals
Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before.

Paul J. Meyer: Quotes about Goals
Success is the progressive realization of predetermined, worthwhile goals.

Mack R. Douglas: Quotes about Goals
The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.

Brian Tracy: Quotes about Goals
The most important key to achieving great success is to decide upon your goal and launch, get started, take action, move.

Francie Larrieu Smith: Quotes about Goals
The most important thing about motivation is goal setting. You should always have a goal.

Cecil B. De Mille: Quotes about Goals
The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.

Denis Waitley: Quotes about Goals
The secret to productive goal setting is in establishing clearly defined goals, writing them down and then focusing on them several times a day with words, pictures and emotions as if we’ve already achieved them.

Edgar A. Guest: Quotes about Goals
The timid and fearful first failures dismay/ but the stout heart stays trying by night and by day/ He values his failures as lessons that teach/ The one way to get to the goal he would reach.

Richard Bach: Quotes on Goals
Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you’re alive, it isn’t.

Jim Valvano: Quotes on Goals
How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it.

Og Mandino: Quotes on Goals
I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.

Robert Townsend: Quotes on Goals
If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it’s ok. But you’ve got to shoot for something. A lot of people don’t even shoot.

Alberto Salazar: Quotes on Goals
If you want to achieve a high goal, you’re going to have to take some chances.

Mary Lou Retton: Quotes on Goals
I’m very determined and stubborn. There’s a desire in me that makes me want to do more and more, and to do it right. Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it.

Norman Vincent Peale: Quotes on Goals
It takes struggle, a goal and enthusiasm to make a champion.

Mary O’Connor: Quotes on Goals
It’s not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.

Unknown Author: Quotes on Goals
Knowing your destination is half the journey.

Vince Lombardi: Quotes on Goals
Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

Dechurched?

There are 12 million Dechurched people in America right now.

I wanted none of the language to or Labels to stereotype anyone who may be reading this article who is either unchurched or de-churched. This is absolutely  not US verse THEM mentality, the purpose for discussing this matter is my personal burden and passion for young adults in crisis. Discovering the systemic causes of their needs and to discover practical methods to help them effectively. I am simply using these descriptors for the purpose of clarity and amplify the topics. Furthermore, these both topics have been researched in a more in depth way than I could ever give it justice and encourage you to research these both topics more fully on your own time.

I briefly will introduce the topic of the unchurched to clarify they are not the DE-cHURCHED. The latest statistics report 12 million dechurched people in America right now. I have researched this topic and have listed numerous sources for your own private study and research.

unchurched[1]

BARNA ARTICLE on The term “unchurched” has become quite popular in missional efforts to re-evangelize and re-church North America. To be sure, there are a lot of unchurched people in the U.S. In fact, no county in the US has registered a greater percentage of church persons over the past decade. Church attendance has declined over the past few years by 10%, and the US is the only continent where Christianity is not growing! With these kinds of statistics, I wonder if “unchurched” language and perspectives are falling short of adequately describing the challenges facing the American church (more Barna stats). Perhaps we should pick up the language of missiologists who have used the term “resistant.”

impactattend3

The resistant are those who have or are receiving an adequate opportunity to hear the gospel but over some time have not responded positively (Pocock, “Raising Questions about the Resistant”). The resistant are NOT unreached, though they are often unchurched. What constitutes “some time”? More importantly, should we shift our strategies and discourse to approach unchurched Americans as resistant peoples?

Not unlike the term unchurched, defining the resistant is has its problems; however, Timothy Tennent has helpfully pointed out that peoples can be resistant in at least four ways: culturally, theologically, ethnically or politically (Tennent, “Equipping Missionaries for the Resistant”). Depending on what area or peoples of the U.S we are considering, any one or combination of the four areas may apply.

dechurched

 

If your town is average, thousands of recently dechurched people live near your church.1

Craig Bird, in a recent article at www.faithworks.com, called these dechurched “postcongregational” Christians.

Jamieson, who studies the quest of these post-congregational Christians, compares them to “travelers who abandon a luxury liner in mid-cruise. They grow tired of the endless buffets and entertainment, the carefully designed activities, or the captain who makes all the decisions about the ship’s speed and direction. They are longing to experience what is not on the itinerary. They sell all they have to buy a small boat and leave the welltraveled sea lanes for uncharted waters.”2

“George Barna noted two years ago that large numbers of American adults regularly participate in faith activities – prayer, Bible reading, use of the religious media – even though they haven’t attended a church service in six months. They are ignoring church, not faith, he said. Relatively few unchurched people are atheists. Most of them call themselves Christians and have had a serious dose of the church life in the past.”3

Is your church designed to
reach the “leavers”? Michael Johnson, in an article titled “If
We Can’t Reach the Dechurched, Can We Really Reach the Unchurched?” suggests the following:

· Would it make more sense to first become the kind of church that is highly

effective in reaching the dechurched?

· What we can learn from the dechurched may be more important than what they

can learn from us.

· Collaboration, rather than assimilation, may be a more appropriate goal to set with regard to the dechurched.

· Understand that dechurched people are probably closest to the solutions needed to reach and transform your city.4

· It is important to take a second look at those people leaving the institutional church. Rob McAlpine, in his article “Detoxing from Church,” reminds us, “…these are people who are in love with Jesus, and who want to be a part of the healthy functioning Body of Christ. If they didn’t care, there would be no issues. They wouldn’t be upset. They would either leave altogether and never again seek out fellowship with other believers, or they would passively go through the motions week after week and never give their spiritual status second thought. It is far too easy for the church to make these people the enemy when in fact they are not.”5

When people leave our church fellowship, it is easy to write them off and never seek to find out “Why?”

The trouble with the Church today?

A perception of irrelevancy. There is a vast number of "unchurched" people in the World who see the Church as irrelevant. Some of the people are Christian believers who once attended an institutional church, but no longer attend; some are Christian believers who attended, but infrequently; and some are unbelievers.

Their reasons for abandoning the institutional church vary, but behind those reasons is one commonality: They believe the institutional church is irrelevant. It is perceived as irrelevant to their life, in that it cares little for them, or their situation, except for wanting to add another name to the church roles; and it is perceived as irrelevant to their community, in that churches only care about those people who are "like us."

That is not a new revelation, but it is one that the Church must meet head-on if it is to meet the mandate of the Great Commission — that of going into the world and making disciples of Christ, for the sake of Christ. Churches who make the gospel relevant to the hungry, to the hurting, and to the disenfranchised will meet the mandate; those who do not, will not.
Think of this: A church can grow in membership, launch building programs and increase the budget exponentially and still be irrelevant.

How? By focusing on membership, building programs and the budget, while neglecting the hungry, the sick, the naked, the imprisoned, the disenfranchised … Jesus Christ among us.

A reality of immobility. While the focus of the past decade has been on establishing new worship services — first targeting baby boomers, then targeting twentysomethings, Millenniums, or whatever is the demographic of the moment — the Church seems unable to move what appears to be a vast army beyond the sanctuary doors.

Why is that?

If you believe that what we call discipleship has its roots in worship, then the fruit of discipleship is correlative to the degree in which we worship in spirit and in truth. Superficial attempts at worship (whether in contemporary or traditional settings) will result in little or no fruit — an immobile congregation. Those engaging in true worship — worship in spirit and truth — will naturally produce a bumper crop of discipleship. They will look for ways to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned and sick, and focus on being disciples of Christ, for the sake of Christ and others.

Finally, the Church is in trouble because of …
A resistance to change. Again, that is not a new revelation, but this is the most dangerous foe of all in postmodern Christianity.

Much has been written and said in recent years concerning the "emerging church" and "postmodern" faith, but if you find someone who claims to be an expert, keep looking. Still, one constant component in what is being said and written is that doing things the way we’ve always done them because that’s the way it’s always been done will no longer get it — if it ever did. Another component is that those working the field of the emerging church are uncovering what some might find as an unexpected surprise: Therein lies a fertile field of faith.

But, to mix a metaphor, the field of faith today is as fluid as the ocean. The Church has to catch the wave, and for some of us there’s some hard paddling to do.

The bad news: Some believers are already worshipping outside of our doors, because they believe the institutional church will remain irrelevant, immobile, and unable to change.

Jesus says that he "was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Likewise, when he sent out his apostles he said: "Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." This restriction is a very important consideration because it tells us that his primary mission was to reclaim those who were by birth included in the promise to Abraham. But they were lost, he said. Why did he call them lost? Anyone who has read through one of the gospels knows that Jesus went to the sick and afflicted. He himself went to Samaria where descendants of Abraham lived cut off from the Temple of the Jews. His detractors accused him of associating with those they considered beneath their piousness to even acknowledge on the road. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them. I tell you that this Jesus would be unwelcome in some of today’s churches.

This is the way that Mary Tuomi Hammond defin

es unchurched.

The word dechurched is hardly adequate in describing the variety of individuals in question. Any term that utilizes "church" as its root can easily be misunderstood due to the myriad of popular conceptions and definitions applied to it. Does the word dechurched include those who simply neglect to make time for public worship or those who drift away from Christianity out of disinterest and distraction? Does the term primarily refer to individuals who have left mainstream denominations due to serious concerns? Can one be considered dechurched by virtue of simply attending a church and leaving it, regardless of whether that person ever made a genuine commitment to a life of Christian discipleship?

With these very valid questions in mind, I wish to clarify my use of the word dechurched for the purposes of this article. I use this term to describe those who have lost a faith that they once valued or have left a body of believers with whom they were once deeply engaged. I limit my exploration further by focusing on those who have felt damaged and alienated amid this process. I cannot judge the authenticity or a person’s prior experience with the Christian faith; I can only listen to the pain and disappointment, the questioning and confusion, the anger and even rage that the stories of the dechurched often embody.

With the risk of sounding melodramatic, I must say that the last sentence above affects me deeply; it breaks my heart. And that’s why my own anger and even rage sometimes bubble over when I read the attacks of one professing Christian against another. These dechurched are the collateral damage of these battles for power. They, and those attacked, are the ones who suffer when church leaders fight among themselves and when they abuse their positions and pompous titles.

But who will stand and speak out for the unchurched and dechurched? Who will go beyond theological and denominational squabbles and continue the job that Jesus began? Who will lay aside their pride, put their trust in God rather than doctrine and dogma, and humble themselves for the good of others? And who will give up their human notions of worthiness and give up their pride for the unworthy? Who?

IDEAS:
1. Dispel the stereotypes. Research points out that the growing portion of this group, are not weak in faith, but in fact are strong Christians. Many are former church leaders, many have years of ministry experience, and some are even former pastors. They are not disillusioned with God, just the organized church they’ve known; and many are experimenting with the house church movement or pursuing other creative formats like marketplace or community missions. In fact, for the most part it is because of their strong faith, not the lack of faith, that they have the courage to step beyond the known comfort zones of their traditions and face the misunderstanding of other Christians.

2. Avoid Simplistic Definitions. If someone is part of a house church, mission group, marketplace fellowship, or  even on a temporary sabbatical, they are still part of THE Church. We say the church is not a building or an organization, it’s the Body of Christ, but we tend to forget this when we attach labels.

3. Listen to the Dechurched. Seek them out, know who they are, listen to their perspective. Focus groups and one-on-one interviews with the Unchurched are good to get a broad, uninitiated, community perspective so important. But the recently Dechurched will have the most informed and intuitive perspective, the kind that can uncover great insights and ideas for change.

 

4. Partner With The Dechurched. Sound strange? But think about it. The Dechurched are probably the closest   people to the creative solutions needed to really reach and transform your city. But, you say, isn’t that like reward-ing independence? Would that not legitimize them? What if all my people took their path? Stop for a minute and unpack that line of thinking. Don’t we want all of our people to be independent, to stand confident in their gifts and calling, follow the call of God, to meet the needs in the community they are uniquely meant to fill? They should not have to leave the fellowship to do that, only if we’ve made it necessary. We may have to admit that if people have to leave to follow their calling, or for that matter if they are that easily drawn away by outside influence, there is something inherently wrong with the way we’ve wired our organization. Could it be that the reason they are disconnected from much of the Body the result of church institutions that fail to provide a wide birth for creativity, imagination, risk, and missional ideas? We also must admit that God may have these people where they are for a reason, to experiment, venture into new areas, cross-pollinate with different cultures, or take a sabbatical to      process or work through something important with God in a way which a high level of church activity would be a major distraction. But they still might be open to collaborate or partner for specific reasons. Whatever relationship that might be, can you see the mutual benefit?


5. Create Community Idea Factories. In almost every case, the reason people leave the church, is not a relational problem in and of itself. At its base it’s a failure to channel inspiration and imagination. If dreams and ideas keep bumping up against walls and internal obstacles, sooner or later they will find their way outside the enclosure. A    better way would be to take the proactive position and actually stimulate ideas. But, facilitating ideas is not the     same as endorsing or funding ideas. Read some of Tommy Barnett and his son Matthew Barnett’s experience       with the Dream Centers (The Church That Never Sleeps) for effective ways to create and channel an idea    movement. Remember, the path to transformation goes through dreams.

There are 12 million Dechurched people in America right now.
That means if your town is average there are thousands of recently dechurched people living near your church. With a little openness and creativity put into it,    what could an intelligent outreach strategy that effectively connected with them mean to your church, and in turn, what impact it could have on your city?

Yet in these deep longings of the urban youth, the voices of the streets seem louder than the faint cry of a church stuck in institutional patterns of the past. A growing "non-church Christianity" is growing up where God-talk is hip but church is out.

Hood Kids

hood kids
but good kids
not bad kids
just misunderstood kids
watch mom shoot up
and dad shoot bullets
and combat the words
that scream that I’m useless
I’m not
just hot
and mad at dad who split
and mom who took him back
even though he split
her lip the third time
I watch from the s
idelines
and grow full of hate
from parents’ guidelines
and you, pastor
push me faster
to hate
taking our crumbs to fill
your already full plate
your frock is stained
you mock the name
of He who commissioned
cuz you’re more concerned
with titles and pensions
than the mission to save me
don’t forget the babies
don’t be so lazy
cuz I need you greatly
it’s not about parking spots
and who pays a lot
but who gives a lot
and who prays a lot
for me
the lost sheep
but nobody’s looked for me
don’t you know God made
the Good Book for me?
but I need direction
some protection
much affection
not rejection
I…NEED…YOU
man of God
woman of God
be of God
and keep your eyes peeled
for real
we’re crying
and dying
but still trying
though momma ignores us
and daddy abuses us
I’m sure that God still
wants to use us
when momma doesn’t hug us
and daddy slugs us
I’m confident that God
still loves us
cuz I’m a hood kid
but a good kid
not a bad kid
just misunderstood kid
and I need your help
before it’s too late
and I walk the same path
that my parents made
look at us
behind the chain linked fence
pain wrenched kids
such tainted kids
who were struck
but never fainted kids
we live hellish lives
but can be saintly kids
if you just try TRY!
until then
we’ll continue to die
continue to cry
the hood kids
that no one really cares about
it’s so obvious that no one
really cares about ‘em…

mms://media.kybaptist.org/Man on the street256k.wmv

1 Mindstorm Idealetter, June 7, 2005, breakthroughchurch.com

2 A churchless faith, Craig Bird, June 7, 2005: www.faithworks.com

3 Ibid

4 Mindstorm Idealetter, p.1 breakthroughchurch.com

5 Detoxing From Church, Rob McAlpine: www.robbymak.org

Why Does God Allow Evil?


"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand" (Psalm 130:3).

Traditionally, there are three main categories of evil: metaphysical, moral, and physical or natural. Blindness, deafness, and lameness are examples of metaphysical evil; cruelty and malevolence are examples of moral evil; and earthquakes, droughts, and tornados are examples of physical evil. All moral evil is the direct or indirect result of moral agents’ free wills or ability to choose. Physical and metaphysical evil may or may not be the result of moral agents’ choices.

One of the most common questions every person wrestles with in life is this: "God, if You are loving, just, and all-powerful, why do You allow good people to suffer?" Many choose not to believe in God because they cannot adequately explain this question. Evangelist Billy Graham addressed this question in his book Answers to Life’s Problems:

We do not know all the reasons why God permits evil. We need to remember, however, that he is not the cause of evil in this world and we should therefore not blame Him for it. Remember that God did not create evil, as some believe. God created the world perfect. Man chose to defy God and go his own way, and it is man’s fault that evil entered the world. Even so, God has provided the ultimate triumph of good over evil in Jesus Christ, who on the cross, defeated Satan and those who follow him. Christ is coming back and when He does, all evil will be ended forever and righteousness and justice will prevail.

Have you ever thought about what would happen if God suddenly eliminated all the evil in this world? Not one person would be left, because we are all guilty of sin.

Whenever we suffer, we should remember that the Son of God went before us, drinking the cup of suffering and death to the dregs. Because Christ is fully man and fully God, we know that God understands our fears, sorrows and suffering. He identifies with us. Most important of all, the Father has given us the gift of His Son so that we don’t have to die and suffer forever in eternity.

Because Jesus suffered and died for us, our suffering can be made like His -purposeful and meaningful. Evil, suffering and death came into the world when the first man and woman listened to Satan and committed the first sin. Evil was never part of the Garden of Eden. The moment Adam and Eve crossed the boundary of God’s command, evil became the terrible reality of this world.

There are some questions that will remain unresolved until we are able to meet face to face with our Creator in Heaven.

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The answer lies in both our greatest blessing and our worst curse: our capacity to make choices. God has given us a free will. Made in God’s image, he has given us the freedom to decide how we will act and the ability to make moral choices. This is one asset that sets us apart from animals, but it also is the source of so much pain in our world. People, and that includes all of us, often make selfish, self-centered and evil choices. Whenever that happens, people get hurt.

Sin is ultimately selfishness. I want to do what I want, not what God tells me to do. Unfortunately, sin always hurts others, not just ourselves.

God could have eliminated all evil from our world by simply removing our ability to choose it. He could have made us puppets, or marionettes on strings that he pulls. By taking away our ability to choose it, evil would vanish. But God doesn’t want us to be puppets. He wants to be loved and obeyed by creatures who voluntarily choose to do so. Love is not genuine if there is no other option.

Yes, God could have kept the terrorists from completing their suicidal missions by removing their ability to choose their own will instead of his. But to be fair, God also would have to do that to all of us. You and I are not terrorists, but we do harm and hurt others with our own selfish decisions and actions.

You may hear misguided minds say, "This must have been God’s will." Nonsense!

In a world of free choices, God’s will is rarely done! Doing our own will is much more common. Don’t blame God for this tragedy. Blame people who ignored what God has told us to do: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

In heaven, God’s will is done perfectly. That’s why there is no sorrow, pain or evil there. But this is earth, a fallen, imperfect place. We must choose to do God’s will everyday. It isn’t automatic. This is why Jesus told us to pray, "Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven."

The Bible explains the root of evil: "This is the crisis we’re in: God’s light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness … because they were not really interested in pleasing God" (John 3:19, Message Translation). We’re far more interested in pleasing ourselves.

There are many other questions that race through our minds during dark days. But the answers will not come from pollsters, pundits or politicians. We must look to God and his Word. We must humble ourselves and admit that each of us often choose to ignore what God wants us to do.

We were made for a relationship with God, but he waits for us to choose him. He is ready to comfort, guide and direct us through our grief. But it’s your choice.

Energy-Sappers: Smoldered Wick

 

Smoldering Wick 

exhausted2

These statistics below are for pastors and their wives. However the energy-sappers are for everyone.

exhausted 

STATISTICS ABOUT PASTORS

Pastors today are faced with more work, more problems, and more stress than any other time in the history of the church. This is taking a frightening toll on the ministry, shown by the (North American) statistics below:

Pastors:

· Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout or contention in their churches.

· Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.

· Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

· Eighty-five percent of pastors said their greatest problem is they are sick and tired of dealing with problem people, such as disgruntled elders, deacons, worship leaders, worship teams, board members, and associate pastors. Ninety percent said the hardest thing about ministry is dealing with uncooperative people.

Pastors’ Wives:

· Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses feel their spouse is overworked.

· Eighty percent of pastor’ wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.

· Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession.

· Eighty percent of pastors’ wives feel pressured to do things and be something in the church that they are really not.

Pastors’ Relationship With the Lord:

· Seventy percent of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor.

· Ninety-five percent of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

· Eighty percent of pastors surveyed spend less than fifteen minutes a day in prayer.

· Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.

Now… take a moment and give us your energy-for-God sappers. What have you found that depletes your desire to get up and serve the Lord?

match out

Here are ten energy-sappers:

10. Compromise.

You’re doing something displeasing to the Lord and you know it. The guilt lingers and weighs you down. When you try to read your Bible, pray, or worship, the fog is so thick you could cut it. God seems far away, and you know without being told it’s because you moved. You’re being torn down the middle and it’s a miserable feeling. The greatest compromise, I have found is not only in doing obviously sinful deeds. It is when we are operating in our own goodness and works based on our own performance. This births a cycle of defeat, frustration and utter failure. We must come to end of ourselves and stop trying to operate in self-salvation. We can never save ourselves, ever be good enough or do good enough deeds to please God. Only our Faith Pleases GOD.

Isaiah 59:1-2 comes to mind. "Your sins have separated you." Confess them and move back closer.

9. Nay-sayers.

The discouragers around you are constantly pointing out that you cannot do this, you are not the Christian you ought to be, the Bible cannot be understood, your prayers never go beyond the ceiling, and your pitiful offering amounts to nothing. To make matters worse, sometimes that negative voice hounding us is our own. You lose heart and want to give up. I listen to words very carefully to make sure that they are coming from the proper source. The source of Grace and Truth. I stop listening of speaking when I am sensitive to recognize that the Word’s of Grace and truth are not present. This takes years of Practice and development by the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 103:1-5 comes to mind. "Bless the Lord, O my soul." Speak to yourself words of faith. Believe your faith and doubt your doubts.

8. Nit-pickers.

A family member, a colleague in the office, or a so-called friend has taken it as their personal calling to remind you of your failures in living up to the standards you claim. Your clothes do not match, you need a haircut, why do you waste your time on those books or that writer or that church, why aren’t you exercising more, you’re putting on weight, and I don’t think you’re right for this. Of course, he tells you this for your own good. You leave your friend’s presence feeling worthless and hopeless. I have been o

n both sides like many who have been the unkind friend to the Hurting and not deeply caring enough to take time to be a hope-bringer of God’s wonderful Peace and grace. I have been on the receiving end of harsh criticism when I was sick for an extended period of time. Either has changed my personal character for the better and changed the words I chose to use. If my words will not edify and build an individual I keep them to my self. Words are very powerful and need to be used carefully. Even when words of Correction are sometimes needed, I take the opportunity to have the word’s be of encouragement that help an individual be able to be convinced of the Word of God in their personal capacity.

Philippians 4:8 comes to mind. "Whatsoever things are true, think on these things." Choose where your mind will land and come to rest and what it will feed upon.

7. Time-wasters or Bloodsuckers.

A few years ago, we would have named television as the biggest time-waster. It still is for many, but these days, the tube has lots of competition: the computer, computer games, the telephone, worthless reading materials, shopping, mall-crawling, and such. Each person has his own battlefield in this regard. But it’s not just the time; the problem is that it robs you of your energy for God or service to His will for your life. It weakens your discernment in relating to other people. Be AWARE that their are many bloodsuckers in the Church who will sap the strength out of you if you let them. I always want to remain tender to weak individuals in the church and make my self available to loving them where they are in life. This is ultimately Christly time management and requires being lead by the Holy Spirit. Some pastors that I have spoken to who are extremely successful church planters Have stated that they do not do any counseling anymore nor do any thing but invest in this future generation’s leaders. They focus on building the next generation of leaders in the Church so they can in turn invest in weaker individuals. I personally have done both and not been overwhelmed by caring for those who are poor in spirit and weaker members of the Body of Christ. I never want to become a man who forgets where he came from, I was once one of those weaker individuals who was definitely poor in Spirit. God sent a Man of God to me to teach me to walk with Christ moment by moment. I needed plenty of Biblical Counseling, Nurturing, Grace and practical love when I came off the streets homeless at 19 years old.

Luke 18:1 comes to mind. "We ought always to pray and not to lose heart." The old hymn told us to "Take Time to Be Holy." It takes time.

6. Starvation.

When you’re really hungry, instead of pausing for dinner, you gulp down a soft drink and a bag of chips. Now, you have stopped the hunger but you’re starving your body. A few minutes later, your wife or mother calls you to dinner. You beg off; you’re not hungry. You dare not admit what you just did. That foolish scenario happens spiritually, too.

Try this experiment. After watching two hours of television–especially sitcoms of the type the networks are running these nights–get up and go get your Bible and read a couple of chapters. You’ll have to make yourself do it. After a steady diet of mental junk food, you have no appetite for real nourishment. I also am carefully monitor what I am allowing to stimulate my mind. Plenty of things and images bombard our mind in billions of parts per second that we are not conscious or aware of the stimulation. These stimulations seem to dull  the ability for us to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit through the Word of Life the Word of God.

Matthew 4:4 comes to mind. "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God." And Psalm 34:8 "O taste and see that the Lord is good." You need to feed your soul if you expect to have any energy for God.

5. Fatigue.

You’re doing good work; you’re just doing so much of it that you’re exhausted. When tired, you get irritable and are no fun to be around. You end up having to force yourself to do your spiritual activities. It’s not an admission of weakness to confess you have physical limitations, that you need 8 hours of sleep at night and maybe a little rest in the daytime and a vacation once in a while. Many of men have burned out because they failed to spiritually disciple themselves to take a Sabbath day per week to renews and be strengthened by God. This is not a mandatory for we are under Grace. I believe in strong work ethics and long Hours. What is the use of working hard and not being sharp. What is the use if God decides to use you for a task and you are so exhausted you fail to hear the whisper of His Voice. We can Work Hard by Working Smart. Working Smart is to take any day of the week to be our Sabbath day for renewal. I also have counseled numerous burned out pastors who in over thirty years of ministry never took a single day off, not even a well deserved biblical sabbatical. They are not walking with God today nor are they finishing the race well. They started very well and even impacted my life personally when I first became a Christ-Follower, they are now left the ministry and are drifting daily farther away from God.

Mark 6:31 comes to mind. "Come ye apart and rest for a while." And Matthew 11:28-30: "Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden."

4. Depression.

You are a Christian, one who believes your Bible and has the Holy Spirit, so how could you be depressed? Ever say that to yourself? The roots of depression (mental, emotional, whatever) are many and complex. You might need to remind yourself that some of the finest Christians ever to walk the planet have battled depression. You have good company. Those believers made the same discovery you have made, that sometimes you just have to get up and go on with your day while depressed, that you don’t dare give in to it. Missionary leader and inspirational writer Elisabeth Elliot has said that when she’s depressed, her method for dealing with it is: "Do the next thing." She does not make a long list of tasks to accomplish that day, but does the next thing before her, then she looks around and decides what is next, and so forth.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 comes to mind. "Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines… yet I will exult in the Lord." Praise Him anyway.

3. Rebellion.

Compromise is one thing; you rationalize a sin and turn a blind eye toward a practice you know is not wise and is hindering your spiritual life. But rebellion is another matter altogether. In rebellion, you drop all pretense about wanting to do the right thing. You enthrone your self and devote your life to pleasing only you. This really gets scary when you’re in the Lord’s service and draw a paycheck from a church or religious organization and yet are in rebellion against the Lord. I’ve been there; I know. People are looking to you for spiritual direction and expecting to hear God’s voice through you, but what they are receiving is shallowness and staleness, negativism and putdowns, all bubbling up from the acid eating away at your soul.

Revelation 3:4-5 comes to mind. "I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember… and repent." The prodigal son story of Luke 15 applies.

2. Laziness.

Sloth. Idleness. Lethargy. Listlessness. Dullness. Slackness. Find yourself in any of these? You just can’t make yourself get up and do anything spiritual such as reading the Bible or praying meaningfully or volunteering for a service project. You "just don’t feel like it." Sound familiar? There’s a law of physics you may be familiar with. Inertia is the tendency of an object at rest to remain there, and a moving object to continue moving. Now, it takes energy to get the object moving and it takes energy to stop it once it’s in motion. Like priming a pump, we use energy to get energy. This pertains, whether speaking of the physical or the spiritual.

Proverbs 6:6-11 comes to mind. "How long wilt thou sleep, O thou sluggard?" Wake up. Get up.

1. Satan. The enemy himself.

You wondered if we would get to that? The unholy trinity of the world-the-flesh-and-the-devil are always at work to discourage believers from living the life Christ commands and we profess. The devil has had longer to study human nature than we, so he knows methods we have yet to discover. He uses detours, overloads, and even good works to keep us from doing the best things. He uses our diversions to sap our time, people to sap our joy, and work to sap our energies. Our time gone, our spirits depleted, and our energies sapped, we decide not to read our Bible tonight, to skip on our prayer time, and to get our rest tomorrow by sleeping late and skipping church. Chalk up another victory for the roaring lion who walks about.

I Peter 5:6-9 comes to mind. You know what it says. "We are not ignorant of his devices." 2 Corinthians 2:11

Now… take a moment and give us your energy-for-God sappers. What have you found that depletes your desire to get up and serve the Lord?

What is Effective Biblical Counseling?

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Everyone needs spiritual direction and Godly Counsel at some time in their lives. God did not make us to live totally isolated, independent lives one from another. God uses the analogy of sheep to describe us. Sheep are animals that need a lot of care. God is the Chief Shepherd, but He also appoints others under Himself to aid in the care of the flock.

dove2

There are specific situations where getting Godly Counsel is appropriate:

  • When you face major decisions such as marriage, career choice, and spiritual direction.
  • When you face crisis issues such as divorce, job loss, major or long-term illness, financial loss, the death of someone near, and physical, mental, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse.
  • When you face unresolved conflicts such as in family relations, employer-employee relations, other social relations, church relations, and civil relations.
  • When you face addictions such as substance abuse (drug, alcohol, nicotine, and food), sexual addictions, work, ministry, or entertainment addictions, and fantasy addictions.
  • When you face uncontrolled negative emotions and thoughts such as fear, anger, jealousy, bitterness, hate, suicide, depression, doubt, and guilt.
  • When you have difficulties with sleep such as needing excessive amount of sleep, getting too little sleep, or having nightmares and excessive daydreams.
  • When you experience physical problems without a known physical cause.
  • When you become spiritually unsure or confused about your salvation from sin, your relationship with God, your spiritual future, or living a proper spiritual life.

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Which Counselor?

We should begin by understanding that there are various levels of counseling:

First, there is the friendship level. If you have a minor problem, you may go to a close friend for advice. Second, there is the authority level. In certain situations you may seek the counsel of your parents, the boss, a pastor, a minister, civil or governmental authorities.

Third level is that of trained counselors. A trained counselor is someone who has specific training in the area of the problem that you are experiencing. God may work through all three of these levels.

There are also different general approaches to counseling. The sociologist will emphasize the importance of the influence of society as it molds the character of your life. The psychologist will emphasize the importance of "self" and the factors which influence "self-esteem". The psychiatrist will emphasize the importance of physical and chemical factors which influence your mental and emotional states. The biblical / pastoral counselor will emphasize importance of both the Living and the written Word of God and their influence upon your nature, character, and your inner life.

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Effective Counseling

First, effective counseling is to be Jesus-centered. David declared, "Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory" (Psalms 73:24). He also stated, "There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD" (Proverbs 21:30). Therefore, in a general sense, all good Godly counseling must come from the LORD. Furthermore, the life, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus must be the grounds for counsel. His life is our example. His death is our victory over sin. His resurrection is our assurance of new life. His ascension is our basis for victory over the enemy. The counselor’s only hope in counseling is for the Spirit to intervene in the life of the counselee. When the Spirit of God intervenes, miracles occur, and God changes our lives.

Second, effective counseling is to be Scriptural. Paul tells us that the Word is the basis for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in right living (II Timothy 3:16). David said, "Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counsellors" (Psalms 119:24). The Bible is our instruction manual. It is our guide for life. Things go wrong when we fail to follow the manual. James declares that we are to receive the engrafted Word that is able to save our souls (mind, will, and emotions) (James 1:21).

Third, effective counseling is to be spiritually inspired. Solomon, in a dream, asked for wisdom, and God gave it to him (I Kings 3:9, 12). God also promises to give us wisdom. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" (James 1:5). Wisdom is the ability to see from God’s perspective. However, one must not only see from God’s perspective, one also must be able to communicate what God wants communicated. Therefore, one must be filled with the Holy Spirit. The counselor needs to be like Stephen. "And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake" (Acts 6:10). Good counseling should have Isaiah

11:2 as a motto.

Fourth, effective counseling should be discerning. The enemy may appear as an angel of light (II Corinthians 11:14). Therefore, the counselor should test the spirits (I John 4:1). 

Fifth, effective counseling should be judged for accuracy. The Word says, "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety" (Proverbs 11:14). There should be no "Lone Rangers" in counseling. Most counselors have some blind spots that are seen by others, but not by themselves. The enemy also is more likely to attack the lone sheep. Those in counseling should be willing to submit to counseling themselves if needed.

Sixth, effective counseling is mature. We should heed the warning from Scripture. Rehoboam turned the people of Israel against him because " . . . he forsook the counsel which the old men gave him, and took counsel with the young men that were brought up with him, that stood before him" (II Chronicles 10:8). Mature counsel also knows when to feed milk and when to feed meat (I Corinthians 3:2 and Hebrews 5:12). Mature counsel has learned to discern between good and bad (Hebrews 5:14). Mature counsel is stable (Ephesians 4:13-14) and exemplifies the counsel of Christ. The result of spiritually mature counsel is that you learn the difference between what is right and what is wrong, repent, and receive freedom.

Seventh, effective counseling is progressive. God does not always answer us when we ask. "And Saul asked counsel of God, Shall I go down after the Philistines? wilt thou deliver them into the hand of Israel? But he answered him not that day" (I Samuel 14:37). Sin blocks the receiving of God-inspired counsel. Sin in your life also may block you from making progress. The counselor always desires that you make spiritual progress. However, when the counselor discovers a wall of resistance in your life, he may be unable to give the counsel that he would like to give until that wall is torn down. God may say, "Do what I have told you to do before I give you any more instructions." Christian counseling is to address the wall of resistance in love and with the authority of Grace.

Eighth, effective counseling is to be conviction based not naturally opinionated. My opinion is to be what God says in His Word, this takes time and maturity for an individual to have his opinions processed through the Cross of Christ and through God’s Word.  Paul said, "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine" (II Timothy 4:2). The primary reason that most people need counsel is that they, in some way, have not obeyed God or have not been taught to follow the Spirit. These are usually from independent effort to live by our own abilities in self-sufficiency and reject the grace of God, this to live off the mark and path of God’s will. Therefore, one must come to see the roots of sin before he can get very far on the road to recovery.

Ninth, effective counseling needs to speak the truth in love. The truth will convince individuals in their minds  and then cause a turning of their mind from one direction to another about the direction they are on. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death" (II Corinthians 7:10). Paul declared that he had a clear conscience before God and man (Acts 24:16). Once one receives a clear conscience, he can see clearly to make a stand. David said, "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD" (Psalm 112:7). Paul declared, ". . . for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (II Timothy 1:12). He also exhorts us, "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord" (I Corinthians 15:58).

Tenth, effective counseling must be prayer-centered. The Christian counselor will begin the session with prayer. When Christian counselors pray, God often brings to the surface the real issues. When Christian counselors pray, you receive deliverance, healing, and direction for your life. When you pray you may receive forgiveness for your sins, eternal life, and confidence that God will continue to work in your life.

Eleventh, effective counseling must deal with the whole person (spirit, soul, and body). We need to realize that each of these areas is interrelated. Moreover, when spiritual issues are dealt with, the other areas are dramatically effected. John wrote, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth" (III John 1:2). When you confess bitterness as sin and forgive the offender, then depression may leave and the symptoms of arthritis may also disappear. When you turn worry over to the Lord, then the confusion leaves and stomach trouble leaves.

 

The Whole Person Approach

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Where does Whole Person Counseling get its name? The Bible speaks of the whole person as being spirit, soul, and body (I Thessalonians 5:23). The spirit pertains to the spiritual part of man and involves a relationship with God and other spiritual beings. The soul pertains to the psychological and social aspects and involves the mind, will, and emotions. The body pertains to the physical part and involves the senses of hearing, seeing, smelling,, and tasting, and feeling. Whole Person Counseling is based upon the concept that these three parts of man (spirit, soul, and body) have a profound influence, one upon the other. What we believe and what we think has an enormous effect upon our mental and emotional stability, our physical health, our relationships with others, and our overall degree of success in life. Therefore, Whole Person Counseling looks at the relationship between each of the parts of man, recognizing that counseling must deal with the Whole Person in order to have a positive, lasting effect upon one’s life. By God’s grace you may set each part (spirit, soul, and body) in its proper order and achieve victory over many of life’s most difficult problems.

Soul Scars

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18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth (lives) no good thing (that is my sinful nature): for to will(desire) is present with me; but how to perform(carry out) that which is good I find not.

Rom 7:18

“For the word of God is living and operative, and keen above any two-edged sword, and penetrating up to the parting of soul and spirit…”

Heb.4:12

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Soul Scars

· Scar tissue of the soul leaves a debilitating loss

· Scar tissue of the soul is also called hardness of the heart and stubbornness of heart. The Lord Jesus Christ quoted Isaiah 6:9-10 as the reason for teaching in parables to the Jews of His day who had hardness of the heart (Matthew 13:13-16; Mark 4:12; Luke 8:10; John 12:40)

· Scar tissue of the soul that restricts capacity for life and love.

· Scar tissue only cure for such problems is a divine solution, which requires application of Bible Doctrine which brings in The Mind of God in to the categories of our Mind.  Our unconsciousness after we are saved still has residual effects of irrational thought and hardness. The Word of God will till the hardness of our thought life. How we think will transfer into how we believe, how we believe, translates into faith action.

Scar tissue of the soul, however, is not the same as the Old Sin Nature, which is the motivation to sin.  Every cell of the body contains the Old Sin Nature or the flesh.  In the absence of the Filling of the Holy Spirit, the Old Sin Nature our Flesh will motivate irrational thinking and sin will control the our outward life from within our minds that are naturally bent towards a temporal value system.  Scar tissue of the soul will add fuel to the fire of the soul under the control of the Old Sin Nature.  However, the power of scar tissue of the soul will be thwarted by the Filling of the Holy Spirit. The Zoe life of the Holy Spirit will convince us in our the battle Ground of the mind. We are not to fight our own battles, not fight our own thoughts. God will fight them for us if we just live in faith rest in receiving the Holy Spirit of Grace, through Mercy, and by the Word of Living  Truth.

We have a lifetime of habits and wounds that have caused soul scars  over the many years our minds we not merged with a Christly Mind. A scar is a natural part of the healing process.  The worse the damage is, the worse the scar will be.

A soul scar is SCAR TISSUE: unhealed wound,unresolved pain, deeply seated doubts, hidden chambers of idolatry, and any other initiations from our senses or impressions from the cosmic world system that have marked us in the past or present. The combinations of these have caused numerous residual effects such as  to have mental blocks, spiritual blindness, and mental darkness. We need more than salvation we need illumination. “Illumination may be defined as the divine quickening of the human mind in virtue of which it is enabled to understand truth already revealed.” It does not reveal new truth, but makes the old truth understandable. Someone said, and I don’t know the source of this, “What light is to the eye, illumination is to the mind.”

"BEING CONVINCED" – ILLUMINATION

· REMOVES BLINDNESS IN OUR MIND

· GIVES INSIGHT

· PREPARES ACTION IN THE WILL

Illumination brings deliverance which promotes spiritual harmony with in our mind which in turn will heal the soul by the Holy Spirit .

Our lives are full of unwelcome behaviors and overwhelming emotions. The fact that we still feel the pain from our past is not a sign of a failed relationship with God. The presence of the pain does not lessen the impact of the salvation in our lives. This is a signal that we need to begin the process of moment by moment inner-healing. God will make the necessary interior healing and transfiguration. To admit to pains and problems may seem to be a contradiction of our claim to salvation, but it is not. The bible is a masterpiece of men and women who struggled continually to overcome past mistakes and present temptations. This is the evidence that God is at work in lives to conform individuals into His Image.

Look at the Apostle Paul , he wrote about this matter clearly and proves the bible is true. He wrote about his uncontrollable life and behaviors as proof of his separation from God. Yet, his admission does not interfere with his commitment to do God’s will. Paul’s will got in the way with God’s will. This is part of the pride complex that is in every man. The pride of the old man that cries with in us for his own will and works against us to frustrate God’s plan for us.

We have a culture that places a high value on individual accomplishment and success. There for we want to have our own Human remedy for our own problems. We want to follow our spiritual father the FIRST ADAM who operated in independence, self-sufficiency, relative righteousness  and preoccupation. These aspects of personality are in various degrees of impression on every person. So it is very common to bring in the Cosmic world system in to our new found faith and return back to the way of self-performance. These human remedy’s will leave us frustrated and experiencing constant defeat. This is right where the we get debilitated and usually remain not moving forward through life, If we think that we are defeated failures, be will begin to act like defeated failures.  

Most of us from birth have been bombarded by our self the old sin nature, the devil, and the world system the ideal of high achievement and performance. Being successful and competitive is viewed by society as important. We are taught that if we compete hard enough we will be “winners” and, therefore good people. If, however we don’t measure up to what is expected of us we are losers, we believe of ourselves as failures. This combination creates a poor s

elf-image, desperation, frustration, and utter despair. Due to the absence of good role models, during childhood, many of us are confused with these ideals and the biblical definition of a Victorious Christian life. We don’t know where we fit in. We continue to allow our worth and self-esteem to be determined by what we do and what others think about us, and not by who we are in Christ and what he has accomplished upon the Cross. We have conditioned ourselves to fail and learned anxiety from our much confused and misguided lives.

Surrender to Grace, we admit defeat and recognize that our obsessive traits manipulate the affairs of our lives to ease inner pain of our separation from God. Thus making our lives uncontrollable and will continue to be until we surrender our own will.

Romans 11:6-7

6 But if it is by grace (His unmerited favor and graciousness), it is no longer conditioned on works or anything men have done. Otherwise, grace would no longer be grace [it would be meaningless].

7 What then [shall we conclude]? Israel failed to obtain what it sought [God's favor by obedience to the Law]. Only the elect (those chosen few) obtained it, while the rest of them became callously indifferent (blinded, hardened, and made insensible to it).

AMP

[And if grace ...]

If the fact that any are reserved be by grace, or favor, then it cannot be as a reward of merit. Paul thus takes occasion incidentally to combat a favorite notion of the Jews, that we are justified by obedience to the Law. He reminds them that in the time of Elijah it was because God had reserved them

Romans 11:6

[Otherwise grace ...]

If people are justified by their works, it could not be a matter of favor, but was a debt. If it could be that the doctrine of justification by grace could be held and yet at the same time that the Jewish doctrine of merit was true, then it would follow that grace had changed its nature, or was a different thing from what the word properly signified. The idea of being saved by merit contradicts the very idea of grace. If a man owes me a debt, and pays it, it cannot be said to be done by favor, or by grace. I have a claim on him for it, and there is no favor in his paying his just dues.

[But if it be of works ...]

"Works" here mean conformity to the Law; and to be saved by works would be to be saved by such conformity as the meritorious cause. Of course there could be no grace or favor in giving what was due: if there was favor, or grace, then works would lose their essential characteristic, and cease to be the meritorious cause of procuring the blessings. What is paid as a debt is not conferred as a favor.

And from this it follows that salvation cannot be partly by grace and partly by works. It is not because people can advance any claims to the favor of God; but from his mere unmerited grace. He that is not willing to obtain eternal life in that way, cannot obtain it at all. The doctrines of election, and of salvation by mere grace, cannot be more explicitly stated than they are in this passage.

(from Barnes’ Notes, Electronic Database Copyright © 1997, 2003, 2005, 2006 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.)

Ephesians 2:8-9

8 For it is by free grace (God’s unmerited favor) that you are saved ( delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God;

9 Not because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law's demands], lest any man should boast. [It is not the result of what anyone can possibly do, so no one can pride himself in it or take glory to himself.]

AMP

Galatians 5:4-6

If you seek to be justified and declared righteous and to be given a right standing with God through the Law, you are brought to nothing and so separated (severed) from Christ. You have fallen away from grace (from God’s gracious favor and unmerited blessing).

5 For we, [not relying on the Law but] through the [Holy] Spirit’s [help], by faith anticipate and wait for the blessing and good for which our righteousness and right standing with God [our conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action, causes us] to hope.

6 For [if we are] in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith activated and energized and expressed and working through love.

AMP

Romans 4:1-7

Chapter 4 1 [BUT] IF so, what shall we say about Abraham, our forefather humanly speaking — [what did he] find out? [How does this affect his position, and what was gained by him?]

2 For if Abraham was justified ( established as just by acquittal from guilt) by good works [that he did, then] he has grounds for boasting. But not before God!

3 For what does the Scripture say? Abraham believed in (trusted in) God, and it was credited to his account as righteousness (right living and right standing with God). [Genesis 15:6.]

4 Now to a laborer, his wages are not counted as a favor or a gift, but as an obligation (something owed to him).

5 But to one who, not working [by the Law], trusts (believes fully) in Him Who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness (the standing acceptable to God).

6 Thus David congratulates the man and pronounces a blessing on him to whom God credits righteousness apart from the works he does:

7 Blessed and happy and to be envied are those whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered up and completely buried.

AMP

Ps 6:6-7

6 I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.

7 Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.

(KJV)

1) What keeps you from recognizing your unrestrained life?

2) What area of your life is causing you the most sadness?

Our pride
cries out against the idea of being not in control and giving up power. We are accustomed to accepting full responsibility for all that happens in our lives and in the lives of others. The dysfunction of the environment of the world system that surrounds us teaches us reaction and we learn to become overly responsible. Liberation and renewal of strength will come from total surrender.

3) What events in your life caused you to realize the extent of your pain?

Deut 30:19-20

19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

20 That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land

(KJV)

4) Pain is a signal to act out your addiction, obsession, or compulsion. Now pain can be a signal to acknowledge your lack of control and to choose life. What specific pain is your strongest signal?

As we begin to accept and surrender the reality of our condition, we naturally reach out to others for answers. There will be no true relief for us until we, by ourselves, in our own minds ands hearts acknowledge our lack of control.

1 Cor 8:2

2 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.

(KJV)

5) We think that life is working when we rely on our old survival techniques. How has this blocked you from seeing your real problems?

The ongoing commitment to surrender, we remember that our damaging traits, habits, and behaviors are a part of us. They are unconscious reactions to the scars that are in our soul. The unhealed wounds are these soul scars. We observe our behavior patterns for the appearance of destructive tendencies. As we notice self-defeating behaviors and reactions surface, we can surrender and seek rescue from God. God will open new courses for action for us.

6) In what area of your life do you experience the strongest need to be in control?

7) What are the results of self-defeating habits?

Mark 4:35-40

35 And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side.

36 And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships.

37 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.

38 And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?

39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?

(KJV)

8) The apostles felt fear and doubt, because of the situation of their personal powerlessness. What do you fear the most? What causes you to doubt?

Recovery from Scar Tissue of the Soul

By your patience possess your souls —Luke 21:19

When a person is born again, there is a period of time when he does not have the same vitality in his thinking or reasoning that he previously had. We must learn to express this new life within us, which comes by forming the mind of Christ (see Philippians 2:5 ). Luke 21:19 means that we take possession of our souls through patience. But many of us prefer to stay at the entrance to the Christian life, instead of going on to create and build our soul in accordance with the new life God has placed within us. We fail because we are ignorant of the way God has made us, and we blame things on the devil that are actually the result of our own undisciplined natures. Just think what we could be when we are awakened to the truth!

Scar tissue has been around throughout history.  It is a common problem.  Our Lord dealt with it in those he tried to teach, and through his teaching the recovery process can be learned.  When teaching people with scar tissue, our Lord taught them in parables.  After teaching the Parable of the Sower,  his disciples asked him why he had taught in parables.  His answer was because his audience had scar tissue of the soul.  He quoted Isaiah 6:9-10 in Matthew 13:14-15.  Since most people with scar tissue aren’t going to learn Bible Doctrine anyway, because their internal capacity is very minimal and their mind continually wanders therefore He taught them with symbolic messages, or parables, to illustrate the Spiritual principles.  The parables served two purposes:  (1)  They hid the true doctrine from those who would never learn it anyway, and (2)  they required analysis to understand just like the application of Bible Doctrine that would be required to handle the testing associated with scar tissue of the soul.

The Recovery Process

The recovery process from scar tissue of the soul was taught by our Lord in Matthew 13:14-15.  Recovery is complicated by the problems that characterize scar tissue. The person with scar tissue of the soul is his own worst enemy; and what’s more, he doesn’t understand his own problem. There are certain things in life that we need not pray about— moods, for instance. We will never get rid of moodiness by praying, but we will by kicking it out of our lives. Moods nearly always are rooted in some physical circumstance, not in our true inner self. It is a continual struggle not to listen to the moods which arise as a result of our physical condition, but we must never submit to them for a second

"And in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is being fulfilled, which says,
‘You will keep on hearing, but will not understand;
And you will keep on seeing, but will not perceive; (Matthew 13:14)

People with scar tissue of the soul may see the Scars of their soul but not be able to understand what it means spiritually.  Although they have heard doctrine taught, they are unable to make application.  They keep on hearing Bible Doctrine taught, but they do not understand how to apply it to their life individually.  Thus, scar tissue of the soul hinders the metabolization of Bible Doctrine and the execution of the Spiritual Life.  The only solution and hope of recovery is to stop Trying and begin Trusting that God’s way and power is the only deliverance of  our Soul Scars.  The divine recovery procedure must be received by Grace not by our own strength no performance; otherwise, there will be no recovery from scar tissue. The Scar Tissue will only be more deeply engrained and habitual failure becomes our frame of Reference. This old frame of reference energized by our own performance and frustration of defeat forms a cycle of failure. The only divine remedy to break this cycle of Failure is to stop trying in our own performance and receive the Grace of God which will cause us to trust in God’s performance even when we do not immediately see results. God works in the invisible not in the visible. That is why we need to look through faith eyes not though our own perception and opinions of our own mind which is conditioned by the comic world system, our flesh, and from the Devil.

For the heart of this people has become insensitive,
And with their ears they are hard of hearing,
And they have closed their eyes
Lest they should see with their eyes,
And hear with their ears,
And understand with their heart and return,
And I should heal them.’ (Matthew 13:15)

You have become estranged from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by the Law; you have run aground from grace. (Galatians 5:4)

The word for running aground is the Greek ejkpivptw (ekpipto), which means to drift off course or run aground.  Those who run aground cease to advance in the Spiritual Life. 

Scar tissue of the soul makes it more difficult to stay on course.  In addition to ignorance, which makes navigation in grace difficult, scar tissue of the soul may add the additional lure of lust and lasciviousness or legalism to go astray.

Ephesians 4:18-19
18 And they have been darkened in their way of thinking, and they have been alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance which is in them, because of the scar tissue in their heart. 19 Who, because they have become callused, they have given themselves over to licentiousness resulting in the practice of every kind of immorality with insatiable lust

The believer with scar tissue of the soul is alienated from the life of God and easily tempted by lust to go astray from grace.  Scar tissue of the soul is an added burden to those who are trying to advance in the Spiritual Life. 

1 Strong, James, Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, Crusade Bible Publishers, Inc., Nashville, TN, pp. 1340, Dictionary of the Hebrew Bible, pp. 127, Dictionary of the Greek Testament, pp. 79.
2 Kittel Gerhard, and Gerhard Friedrich (Editors), Theological Dictionary Of The New Testament  Collected Dialogues Of Plato Including The Letters, Abridged and translated in one volume by Geoffrey W. Bromiley, W. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, Grand Rapids, MI, 1985 (Reprinted 1992), ISBN: 0-8028-2404-8, p. 1342-1353.

The SOUL

18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth (lives) no good thing (that is my sinful nature): for to will(desire) is present with me; but how to perform(carry out) that which is good I find not.

Rom 7:18

“For the word of God is living and operative, and keen above any two-edged sword, and penetrating up to the parting of soul and spirit…”

Heb.4:12

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SOUL AND SPIRIT SEPARATE

The distinction between soul and spirit is no less pronounced. Besides the passage in Hebrews 4:12, which gives the Word of God the monopoly on this distinction, we have the list “spirit and soul and body” (1 Thess.5:23).

Now, instead of the soul and spirit being the same, they are put in striking contrast in the discussion of the differences between the first man, Adam, and the last Adam, Christ Jesus. The first became a living soul, the last a vivifying, or life-giving Spirit. This same contrast is even more apparent in the adjectives “spiritual” and “soulish.” In the second chapter of the first epistle to the Corinthians this distinction is obscured by the rendering “natural.” Not the “natural,” but the soulish man is not receiving those things which are of the spirit of God (1 Cor.2:14). Such perception is reserved for the spiritual man (v.12). So, too, in the fifteenth chapter. The body is there called a soulish, not a “natural” body, in contrast to the spiritual body of the coming resurrection (1 Cor.15:44,45,46).

THE SOUL SPEAKS OF SENSATIONS

The truth that the soul refers to sensation or conscious experience is really acknowledged by the translators themselves, though they have concealed it from their readers by their renderings. Many who think of the soul as the seat of our highest spiritual faculties would be surprised to know that it finds its fitting place between such words as “terrestrial” and “demoniacal.”

In James 3:15 we have “terrestrial, soulish, demoniacal.” The translators rendered it: “earthly, sensual, devilish.” Here, however, if we take the word sensual in its present day acceptation, they have overshot the mark. But in their days it probably meant very nearly what soulish means—one who is swayed by physical sensation. The crowning proof of its antipathy to spirit lies in its last occurrence. There we read of those who are “soulish, not having the spirit” (Jude 19). Here again the translators rendered it “sensual.”

THE SOUL, AND THE SENSES

Plants have life as well as animals, but it is not a conscious life. They do not see and feel and hear and taste. This is the force of being a “living soul.”

The connection of soul with the senses is evidenced by a selection of interesting passages. We will give the renderings of the Authorized Version. The taste is especially intended in such scriptures as “whatsoever thy soul lusteth after” (Deut.12:15,20,21), “thy soul longeth to eat flesh” (Deut.12:20), “eat grapes thy fill at thine own pleasure” (Deut.23:24), “Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat” (Psa.107:18), “a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul” (Prov.6:30), “eateth to the satisfying of his soul” (Prov.13:25), “an honeycomb, sweet to the soul” (Prov.16:24), “if thou be a man given to appetite” (Prov.23:2), “The full soul loatheth an honeycomb, but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.” (Prov.27:7), “should make his soul enjoy good” (Margin reads: “delight his senses,” Ecc.2:24), “the appetite is not filled” (Ecc.6:7), “to make empty the soul of the hungry” (Isa.32:6). In all of these cases the point lies in the sensation accompanying the use of food, the physical satisfaction which the soil furnishes when we partake of its products.

A CONVINCING CONFIRMATION

This is amply confirmed by our Lord’s words: “Do not worry about your soul, what you may be eating, or what you may be drinking…Is not the soul more than nourishment” (Matt.6:25)? These creature needs are what the soul craves, yet true satisfaction is not to be found in them. Even as He said on another occasion: “For what will a man be benefitted, if he should ever be gaining, the whole world, yet be forfeiting his soul? Or what will a man be giving in exchange for his soul” (Matt.16:26)? This is the evil which the wise man saw: “A man to whom God hath given riches, wealth and honour, so that he wanteth nothing for his soul of all that he desireth, yet God giveth him not power to eat thereof, but a stranger eateth it…” (Ecc.6:2, AV).

OUR SOULISH BODY

In perfect accord with all this we are told that there is a soulish body and there is a spiritual body (1 Cor.15:44). The last Adam became a life-giving, or vivifying spirit, in contrast with the first Adam who became a living soul. Flesh and blood, indeed, is not able to enjoy an allotment in the kingdom of God, for the blood is the badge of a soulish body, while flesh and bones is in accord with a spiritual body (1 Cor.15:50). The statement that Christ’s flesh was not acquainted with decay (Acts 2:31) in the tomb is enough to show that it was the very same flesh which endured the suffering of the cross. And this is put beyond question by the nail prints and the spear wound. And the further fact that His body is bloodless reminds us that a propitiatory shelter, for the pardon of Israel’s sins, as well as those of the whole world, has been accomplished (1 John 2:2). The “blood” that is “making a propitiatory shelter” has been poured out.

The Soul and Related Biblical Terms

Old Testament

Soul (nephesh, neh’-fesh, נפש) Strong’s Number 5315 from 5314; properly, a breathing creature, i.e. animal of (abstractly) vitality; used very widely in a literal, accommodated or figurative sense (bodily or mental). 1

the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being (nephesh). Genesis 2:7 (NIV)

In his hand is the life (nephesh) of every creature and the breath (ruwach) of all mankind. Job 12:10 (NIV)
Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD and delight in his salvation. Psalms 35:9 (NIV)

Spirit (ruwach, roo’-akh, רוּחַ) Strong’s Number 7307 from 7306; wind; by resemblance breath, i.e. a sensible (or even violent) exhalation; figuratively, life, anger, unsubstantiality; by extension, a region of the sky; by resemblance spirit, but only of a rational being (including its expression and functions).1

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:2 (NIV)

Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?" Ecclesiastes 3:21 (NIV)

and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. Ecclesiastes 12:7 (NIV)

New Testament

Flesh (sarx, sarx, σαρξ) Strong’s Number 4561  probably from the base of 4563; flesh (as stripped of the skin), i.e. (strictly) the meat of an animal (as food), or (by extension) the body (as opposed to the soul [or spirit], or as the symbol of what is external, or as the means of kindred), or (by implication) human nature (with its frailties [physically or morally] and passions), or (specifically) a human being (as such)

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 (NIV)

Body (soma, so’-mah, σωμα) Strong’s Number 4983 from 4982; the body (as a sound whole), used in a very wide application, literally or figuratively.1  The biblical definition of death is found in James 2:26 where it says that death is the separation of the spirit from the body.

As the body (soma) without the spirit (pneumatos) is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. James 2:26 (NIV)

Soul (psyche, psoo-khay’, ψυχη) Strong’s Number 5590 from 5594; breath, i.e. (by implication) spirit, abstractly or concretely (the animal sentient principle only; thus distinguished on the one hand from 4151, which is the rational and immortal soul; and on the other from 2222, which is mere vitality, even of plants: these terms thus exactly correspond respectively to the Hebrew 5315, 7307 and 2416).1

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Mark 8:35-37 (NIV)

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:11 (NIV)

Spirit (pneuma, pnyoo’-mah, πνευμα) Strong’s Number 4151 from 4154; a current of air, i.e. breath (blast) or a breeze; by analogy or figuratively, a spirit, i.e. (human) the rational soul, (by implication) vital principle, mental disposition, etc., or (superhuman) an angel, demon, or (divine) God, Christ’s spirit, the Holy Spirit.1

God is spirit (pneuma), and his worshipers must worship in spirit (pneumati) and in truth." John 4:24 (NIV)
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit (pneuma), soul (psyche) and body (soma) be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1Thessalonians 5:23 (NIV)

Mind (nous, nooce, νους) Strong’s Number 3563, probably from the base of 1097; the intellect, i.e. mind (divine or human; in thought, feeling, or will); by implication meaning.1

So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind. 1 Corinthians 14:15 (NIV)

Conscience (suneidesis, soon-i’-day-sis, συνειδησις),Strong’s Number 4893 from a prolonged form of 4894; coperception, i.e. moral consciousness.1

So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man. Acts 24:16 (NIV)

To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds (nous) and consciences (suneidesis) are corrupted. Titus 1:15 (NIV)

But one who prophesies speaks to men for edification [intellect] and exhortation [will] and consolation [emotion]. 1 Corinthians 14:3 (NAS)

Jesus replied: "’Love the Lord your God with all your heart [kardia] and with all your soul [psyche] and with all your mind [nous] .’ Matthew 22:37 (NIV)

Our new proclamation:

2 Cor 5:17

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (KJV)

We took control to protect ourselves, but the results frequently have ended uncontrollable and unreliable. We now don’t want to give up control and release ourselves from the torment. This now is a great opportunity to face reality and admit that our life is not working with us in control. We stop pretending, we admit that we can’t continue the illusion of control. The way we have managed our own lives brings us to this point. We prepare ourselves towards the walk of wholeness.

This may seem overwhelming to most of us until we begin to see our lives as they really are. It is threatening to realize could be uncontrollable. Our life experience testifies against us and reminds us that our behaviors did not produce peace.

When a person is born again, there is a per

iod of time when he does not have the same vitality in his thinking or reasoning that he previously had. We must learn to express this new life within us, which comes by forming the mind of Christ (see Philippians 2:5 ). Luke 21:19 means that we take possession of our souls through patience. But many of us prefer to stay at the entrance to the Christian life, instead of going on to create and build our soul in accordance with the new life God has placed within us. We fail because we are ignorant of the way God has made us, and we blame things on the devil that are actually the result of our own undisciplined natures. Just think what we could be when we are awakened to the truth!

Ambassador of Christ Profile Of A Disciple


So we are Christ’s ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ's personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God.
2 Corinthians 5:20 (Amplified Bible)

If you read the epistle from the beginning you can see that in chapter 5 verse 20 the “we” and “us” is himself and Timothy, and the “you” refers to the Corinthian Church. Christians are no more automatically ambassadors for Christ than they are disciples of Christ on the level of discipleship in Luke 14, unless they have met the three conditions set forth in verses 26, 27, and 33.

Moreover, it is inconceivable that one would be an ambassador for Christ if one is not even a disciple (learner) on the discipleship level of Luke 14. Sad to say, that most Christians today in this country are not only not ambassadors for Christ nor disciples of Christ (according to Luke 14), but rather are yet carnal like the Christians in Corinth whom Paul rebuked in his first epistle to them (1 Cor. 3:1-4).
Would Christ send someone to be His ambassador who is carnal rather than spiritual, who is not even a disciple according to the conditions of Luke 14?
The purpose in this study is to make clear what is involved in being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. We will do this by looking at Jesus’ own words. There are seven statements about discipleship that Jesus makes in the gospels.
These statements give us a :
One statement that tells us the goal of discipleship.
Three statements that tell us the marks of a disciple.
Three statements that reveal the cost of discipleship.
Are you are a disciple of Jesus?
An ambassador is…
· Ready. An Ambassador is attentive for chances to represent Christ and will not back away from a challenge or an opportunity.
· Patient. An Ambassador won’t quarrel, but will listen in order to understand, then with gentleness seek to respectfully engage those who disagree.
· Reasonable. An Ambassador has informed convictions (not just feelings), gives reasons, asks questions, aggressively seeks answers, and will not be stumped by the same challenge twice.
· Tactical. An Ambassador adapts to each unique person and situation, maneuvering with wisdom to challenge bad thinking, presenting the truth in an understandable and compelling way.
· Clear. An Ambassador is careful with language and will not rely on Christian lingo nor gain unfair advantage by resorting to empty rhetoric.
· Fair. An Ambassador is sympathetic and understanding towards others and will acknowledge the merits of contrary views.
· Honest. An Ambassador is careful with the facts and will not misrepresent another’s view, overstate his own case, or understate the demands of the Gospel.
· Humble. An Ambassador is provisional in his claims, knowing that his understanding of truth is fallible. He will not press a point beyond what his evidence allows.
· Attractive. An Ambassador will act with grace, kindness, and good manners. He will not dishonor Christ in his conduct.
· Dependent. An Ambassador knows that effectiveness requires joining his best efforts with God’s power.

Pressures of Life

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John 16:33, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world..”

In this modern society, many people have difficult on dealing with their own pressures. Therefore, learning how to lessen the pressure has become an important issue. With the right method to lessen your pressure, you will be more efficient in your work or whatever things you are engaged in.

Thlip´sis

Compression, especially external cause.

Constraining influence oppressive condition of physical, mental, social, or economic distress

In Life: 2 Corinthians (thlipsis = pressure)

· 1:4 Tribulation = Generic troubles

· 1:8 Trouble = Persecution

· 2:4 Affliction = Caring

· 4:17 Affliction = Aging; passage of time

· 6:4 Tribulations = Ministry life in general

· 7:4 Tribulation = Present, specific difficulties

· 8:2 Affliction = Finances; economics

· 8:13 Burdened = Taking up slack for others

Steps

1. Realize the root of the problem.

2. Find out the sources of the pressure. For example, come from work, economy or family, etc.

3. Think a moment for those questions. How does the pressure cause? And what influence does the pressure bring about? For example, sleeplessness or have no energy on doing everything.

4. Plan the solution that can work out such as reducing the amount of your work, improving your relationship with others, or saving your money, etc.

5. Think of the influences of that external pressure is causing in your life.

6. Carry out the method to reduce external pressure you choose.

7. Reflect on the way overcome external pressure if you can and accept it if you cannot reduce pressures

8. Review the effect of the method you choose to reduce external pressures and share it with another individual who is experiencing similar pressures in their life

9. Think whether the method you carried out is as ideal as the way you expect or if you need to modify the method next time

  • Think the root of the problem caused by pressure carefully.
  • You can also plan a schedule to make sure you work on pressures in your life the right way.
  • You can ask your family or friends for some constructive suggestions.
  • What you have to do is concentrate on your formula.
  • If you don’t satisfy with the result, you will have to calm down, and then carry out step 1 and step 2 again.
  • Don’t be overhasty on carrying out the formula.
  • Don’t take a risk on using the wrong way to lessen your stress.
  • Cutting, Drinking, Smoking, and Doing Drugs will not solve anything, despite their popularity for doing so. They are all just new problems to deal with.

THE TRILEMMA: LORD, LIAR OR LUNATIC?

 

THE TRILEMMA 

 

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"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg – or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left  that open to us."

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

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In the words of Kenneth Scott Latourette, historian of Christianity at Yale University: "It is not His teachings which make Jesus so remarkable, although these would be enough to give Him distinction. It is a combination of the teachings with the man Himself. The two cannot be separated."

Jesus claimed to be God. He didn’t leave any other option open. His claim must be either true or false, so it is something that should be given serious consideration. Jesus’ question to His disciples, "But who do you say that I am?" (Matthew 16:15) has several alternatives.

First, suppose that His claim to be God was false. If it was false, then we have only two alternatives. He either knew it was false or He didn’t know it was false. We will consider each one separately and examine the evidence.

If, when Jesus made His claims, He knew that He was not God, then He was lying and deliberately deceiving His followers. But if He was a liar, then He was also a hypocrite because He told others to be honest, whatever the cost, while He himself taught and lived a colossal lie. More than that, He was a demon, because He told others to trust Him for their eternal destiny. If He couldn’t back up His claims and knew it, then He was unspeakably evil. Last, He would also be a fool because it was His claims to being God that led to His crucifixion.

Many will say that Jesus was a good moral teacher. Let’s be realistic. How could He be a great moral teacher and knowingly mislead people at the most important point of His teaching ‑His own identity?

You would have to conclude logically that He was a deliberate liar. This view of Jesus, however doesn’t coincide with what we know either of Him or the results of His life and teachings. Wherever Jesus has been proclaimed, lives have been changed for the good, nations have changed for the better, thieves are made honest, alcoholics are cured, hateful individuals become channels of love, unjust persons become just.

William Lecky, one of Great Britain’s most noted historians and a dedicated opponent of organized Christianity, writes:

It was reserved for Christianity to present to the world an ideal character which through all the changes of eighteen centuries has inspired the hearts of men with an impassioned love; has shown itself capable of acting on all ages, nations, temperaments and conditions; has been not only the highest pattern of virtue, but the strongest incentive to its practice…. The simple record of these three short years of active life has done more to regenerate and soften mankind than all the disquisitions of philosophers and all the exhortations of moralists. 

Historian Philip Schaff says:

How, in the name of logic, common sense, and experience, could an imposter‑that is a deceitful, selfish, depraved man‑have invented, and consistently maintained from the beginning to end, the purest and noblest character known in history with the most perfect air of truth and reality? How could He have conceived and successfully carried out a plan of unparalleled beneficence, moral magnitude, and sublimity, and sacrificed His own life for it, in the face of the strongest prejudices of His people and age? 70/9495

If Jesus wanted to get people to follow Him and believe in Him as God, why did He go to the Jewish nation? Why go as a Nazarene carpenter to a country so small in size and population and so thoroughly adhering the undivided unity of God? Why didn’t He go to Egypt or, even more, to Greece, where they believed in various gods and various manifestations of them?

Someone who lived as Jesus lived, taught as Jesus taught, and died as Jesus died could not have been a liar. What other alternatives are there?

 

Was He a Lunatic?

If it is inconceivable for Jesus to be a liar, then couldn’t He actually have thought Himself to be God, but been mistaken? After all, it’s possible to be both sincere and wrong. But we must remember that for someone to think himself God, especially in a fiercely monotheistic culture, and then to tell others that their eternal destiny depended on believing in him, is no light flight of fantasy but the thoughts of a lunatic in the fullest sense. Was Jesus Christ such a person?

Someone who believes he is God sounds like someone today believing himself Napoleon. He would be deluded and self‑deceived, and probably he would be locked up so he wouldn’t hurt himself or anyone else. Yet in Jesus we don’t observe the abnormalities and imbalance that usually go along with being deranged. His poise and composure would certainly be amazing if He were insane.

Noyes and Kolb, in a medical text, describe the schizophrenic as a person who is more autistic than realistic. The schizophrenic desires to escape from the world of reality. Let’s face it; claiming to be God would certainly be a retreat from reality.

In light of the other things we know about Jesus, it’s hard to imagine that He was mentally disturbed. Here is a man who spoke some of the most profound sayings ever recorded. His instructions have liberated many individuals from mental bondage.

Clark H. Pinnock asks:

Was He deluded about His greatness, a paranoid, an unintentional deceiver, a schizophrenic? Again, the skill and depth of His teachings support the case only for His total mental soundness. If only we were as sane as He!

A student at a Cali

fornia university told me that his psychology professor had said in class that "all he has to do is pick up the Bible and read portions of Christ’s teaching to many of his patients. That’s all the counseling they need."

Psychiatrist J. T. Fisher states:

If you were to take the sum total of all authoritative articles ever written by the most qualified of psychologists and psychiatrists on the subject of mental hygiene ‑if you were to combine them and refine them, and cleave out the excess verbiage ‑ if you were to take the whole of the meat and none of the parsley, and if you were to have these unadulterated bits of pure scientific knowledge concisely expressed by the most capable of living poets, you would have an awkward and incomplete summation of the Sermon on the Mount. And it would suffer immeasurably through comparison. For nearly two thousand years the Christian world has been holding in its hands the complete answer to its restless and fruitless yearnings. Here … rests the blueprint for successful human life with optimism, mental health, and contentment.

C. S. Lewis writes:

The historical difficulty of giving for the life, sayings and influence of Jesus any explanation that is not harder than the Christian explanation is very great. The discrepancy between the depth and sanity … of His moral teaching and the rampant megalomania which must lie behind His theological teaching unless He is indeed God has never been satisfactorily explained. Hence the non‑Christian hypotheses succeed one another with the restless fertility of bewilderment. 

Philip Schaff reasons:

Is such an intellect ‑clear as the sky, bracing as the mountain air, sharp and penetrating as a sword, thoroughly healthy and vigorous, always ready and always self‑possessed ‑liable to a radical and most serious delusion concerning His own character and mission? Preposterous imagination!

Was He Lord?

I cannot personally conclude that Jesus was a liar or a lunatic. The only other alternative is that He was the Christ, the Son of God, as He claimed.

When I discuss this with most Jewish people, it’s interesting how they respond. They usually tell me that Jesus was a moral, upright, religious leader, a good man, or some kind of prophet. I then share with them the claims Jesus made about Himself and then the material in this chapter on the trilemma (liar, lunatic, or Lord). When I ask if they believe Jesus was a liar, there is a sharp "No!"

Then I ask, "Do you believe He was a lunatic?"

The reply is, "Of course not."

"Do you believe He is God?"

Before I can get a breath in edgewise, there is a resounding, "Absolutely not."

Yet one has only so many choices.

The issue with these three alternatives is not which is possible, for it is obvious that all three are possible. Rather, the question is, "Which is more probable?" Who you decide Jesus Christ is must not be an idle intellectual exercise. You cannot put Him on the shelf as a great moral teacher. That is not a valid option. He is either a liar, a lunatic, or Lord and God. You must make a choice. "But," as the apostle John wrote, "these have been written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and" ‑more important‑ "that believing you might have life in His name" (John 20:31).

The evidence is clearly in favor of Jesus as Lord. Some people, however, reject this clear evidence because of moral implications involved. They don’t want to face up to the responsibility or implications of calling Him Lord.

Jesus could only have been one of four things: a legend, a liar, a lunatic–or Lord and God. There is so much historical and archeological evidence to support his existence that every reputable historian agrees he was not just a legend. If he were a liar, why would he die for his claim, when he could easily have avoided such a cruel death with a few choice words? And, if he were a lunatic, how did he engage in intelligent debates with his opponents or handle the stress of his betrayal and crucifixion while continuing to show a deep love for his antagonists? He said he was Lord and God. The evidence supports that claim.

 

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ9hR2GHmiI]
YouTube – Jesus- Liar, Lunatic, or Lord?

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Here are some of the key claims Jesus made about himself

He claimed to live a sinless life

Jesus could look at a crowd of people angry at his claims to share God’s nature and ask, "Which of you can point to anything wrong in my life?" Even more amazing is that none of them could give a reply! No human being has ever lived a sinless life, except for Jesus.

John 8:28-29 "So Jesus said, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know who I am and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.’"

John 8:46-47 "Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God."

He claimed to be the ONLY way to God

Not one of several ways, but the one and only way. Not to teach the way, but to be the way to God. Nobody has ever made claims like that before and backed them, but Jesus did through his love, balanced life, and miracles.

John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me."

Matthew 11:27 "All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

He claimed to have shared the glory of God in Heaven

Jesus claimed to have pre-existed the

people he spoke with. The apostle John–who shared bread with Jesus–wrote that Jesus was with God in the very beginning, and that "all things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being." (John 1:1-5)

John 17:5 "And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began."

He claimed to be able to forgive sins

One of the reasons that the Jewish leaders were so angry with Jesus was his continual practice of forgiving people’s sins. The religious leaders understood clearly that since sins were rebellion against God Himself, only God could forgive sins.

Luke 5:20-21 "When Jesus saw their faith, he said, ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven.’ The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, ‘Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?’"

Luke 7:48-49 "Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’ The other guests began to say among themselves, ‘Who is this who even forgives sins?’"

He claimed to be a Heavenly king

Luke 22:69 "But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God."

Luke 23:1-3 "Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, ‘We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Christ, a king.’ So Pilate asked Jesus, ‘Are you the king of the Jews?’ ‘Yes, it is as you say,’ Jesus replied."

John 18:36-37 "Jesus said, ‘My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.’ ‘You are a king, then!’ said Pilate. Jesus answered, ‘You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.’"

He claimed to be able to give everlasting life

He didn’t just tell people how they could find everlasting life, or deepen their own life experience. He actually claimed to give life himself.

John 6:40 "For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

John 6:47 "I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life."

John 10:28-30 "I give [my followers] eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one."

John 11:25 "Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die…’"

He claimed that he would die and come back to life

John 10:17 "Just as the Father knows me and I know the Father–and I lay down my life for the sheep. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life–only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."

John 12:32-33 "’But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.’ He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die."

John 16:16 "In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me."

Luke 18:31-33 "Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, ‘We are going up into Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.’"

He claimed that he would return again to judge the world

Matthew 24:27-30 "So as the lightening comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man… At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory."

Matthew 25:31-32 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep and the goats."

Mark 14:61-62 "Again the high priest asked him, ‘Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?’ ‘I am,’ said Jesus. ‘And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

 

References:

http://www.tektonics.org/jesusclaims/trilemma.html

 

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 

Answers To Difficult Questions : Suffering

 

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WHERE’S GOD WHEN IT HURTS?

This question has probably created more atheists than any other question.

http://www.biblesociety.ca/free_scriptures/escriptures/it-hurts/it-hurts.html

This above link is a wonderful video to watch before you you read this article below.

If these kinds of attitudes accompany your answers to difficult questions, even the best argument will fail. Is the person more important than the answer? Are you arguing for God? He can defend Himself Just Fine. We as believers must be very careful with our words and have them seasoned with Love not pride because we can cause such pain with our words. Is it God to win an argument and damage seeking skeptics opportunity of future faith in Christ because of our attitude. Our words can push a person further away from God and the questions that people are asking are a good thing because they are searching for answers for life. If we are not able to give answers in the Holy Spirit, and easily loose our tempers and have a prideful spirit it is best to let another believer answer difficult questions or learn to walk in a grace and speak word even if they are hard words seasoned with he love of the Good News. Always remember that your actions will speak louder than you arguments. You life is a living message and represents the King of Kings. When you are arguing and debating, people are listening especially if they know you are a believer. They will be listening how you will answer for many reasons to see if you are being judgmental (speaking down to doubters with pride), are hypocritical (not living your answer),  being exclusive (a know it all and treating people as outsiders in a we are better than you because we live a clean and moral life).

In His Grace Forever,

Young Adult Crisis Hotline

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

1-877-702-2GOD

Listen Before You Answer

Good counsel comes from those who combine empathy and insight.

James 1:19

A psychologist, counselor, and teacher shares his thoughts on how to speak to people in difficult circumstances.

The most important thing for us to recognize is that what people need most is understanding. While understanding always provides the foundation for other kinds of help, it is important in and of itself. Understanding is a wonderful gift to give others.

Having all the answers is overrated. Ask 20 people to tell you who has had the most influence on their lives, and in the vast majority of cases you will find the notable absence of the phrases “gives good advice” or “always provides great solutions to problems,” and the frequent presence of phrases such as “is a good listener” or “really understands.”

We all want to be understood. We want to be around people who show genuine humility, who empty themselves of their own concerns, and who give us their full attention. We are drawn to people who suspend their own needs to control and dominate and who display openness to our story. We seek relationships with people who really want to tune into the meaning of another’s experience and are willing to express that meaning back to us. And of course, such a posture invites us to look inside ourselves and recognize that we need to be that kind of person.

Two Steps to Understanding
1. Work on your listening skills. Listening is hard work because we are not just processing what others are communicating, we are seeking to pay attention not only to the meaning embedded in their words, but also to what they are not saying. In doing so we are not engaging in a process of evaluation but in a process that seeks to accept and value the other.

2. Expand your understanding of the problem. This takes us beyond the skills of listening to a broader view of the problem itself. Doctors are a good example of a combination of these two skills. They need to be good listeners and ask the right questions. But they also need to understand medical problems. Good process needs to be combined with good content.

—Rod J.K. Wilson Copyright © 2006 Rod J.K.Wilson. Adapted from How Do I Help a Hurting Friend. (Baker, 2006.) Used with permission.

Mistakes to Avoid When Answering Difficult Questions:

1. Impatience, unkindness, or intolerance for skeptics or people with genuine questions

2. Appearing brusque or prideful

3. Treating a legitimate question as if it could easily be answered

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

When dealing with tough questions about God and evil, the most severe weakness of some Christians has been the tendency to confront the apologetic challenge and fail to hear the voice of suffering behind the question, “Where is your God?” To not weep with the person who suffers, but rather offer platitudes, Bible verses, even excellent philosophical lectures, is like sending greeting cards to people in a burning building. We need to listen to the voice and not merely the words.

My hope is that Christians will become the apologetic—choosing to live in a way that is much more important than spoken words, no matter how articulate, profound, and convincing the arguments. They will, instead, work where there is human suffering and demonstrate to the world that God is doing something about it: he is sending us into the heart of it to heal it.

Christians are not likely to produce many new and satisfying answers to why and how God acts in pain and evil. But, in the future, they can come alongside others in hardship as they, with their lives as much as their words, try to show others how God enters the places of dark suffering. In these situations Christians can demonstrate how God does deal with evil—not as a theoretical challenge to be solved but as a tragedy to be remedied. In this way, Christians can live as people who have been enlightened by Jesus Christ, who was both victim and victor over evil and suff

ering.

—Chuck Smith Jr. And Matt Whitlock, Copyright © Chuck Smith Jr. and Matt Whitlock. Adapted from Frequently Avoided Questions. (Baker, 2005; ISBN 801065437) Used with permission.

 

Suffering Can Be Good

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"Why, God, why?"

When we let the cross shapes our theology.

Philippians 2:5–8

It is remarkable that there were so few attempts to solve the “problem of evil” prior to the 18th century. Certainly there was no shortage of suffering and disaster. Life was nasty, brutish, and short. In Martin Luther’s day the Black Death had decimated the population of Europe and still threatened. Villages and towns lived in constant dread of fires and natural disasters.

Is it not curious that only when life seems to be easier do thinkers set out to “justify God”? Perhaps it is as Hannah Arendt remarks, “When man could no longer praise, they turned their greatest conceptual efforts to justifying God.” But the problem of suffering should not just be rolled up with the problem of evil. Only false speaking lures us into doing that.

This world is no stranger to suffering. The last one hundred years–which saw greater technological and medical advances than people living in previous centuries could ever have imagined–witnessed suffering, pain, and despair on a nearly inconceivable scale. Disease and sickness, earthquakes and other natural disasters, war and genocide, poverty and death–a stranger to Earth might be forgiven for concluding that suffering was the defining element of our world.

And suffering in its myriad varieties continues to this day, scaled to fit our everyday lives. We–and people we know and see around us–struggle daily against a world full of pain, a world full of hurts that seem to serve no purpose beyond inflicting misery. Some people struggle to feed and shelter their families; others to understand the loss of a loved one, to find the strength to keep standing beneath the weight of a terrible illness, to lift their eyes to heaven and demand an answer to the age-old question: "Why, God, why?"

I don’t know what you’re suffering. Maybe it’s one of these horrors. Perhaps it’s much more personal, more mundane. We each live unique lives with unique hurts, sharing in common an experience of a world that just doesn’t seem to work like it should. Each of us suffers personally, in ways that no other person can understand.

Is there hope? Is there an answer to be found? There is, although we may not see it yet. In the meantime, this most important fact remains: we do not suffer alone. That is the promise of God. "… we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (Romans 8:17-8). "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows" (2 Corinthians 1:5).

WHERE’S GOD WHEN IT HURTS?

This question has probably created more atheists than any other question. Worse, the seething anger that sometimes lies behind it has probably created more insane people than any other. And justly so. While faith in God doesn’t logically stand or fall just on this matter, it hinges on it more than any other so far as our experience of life and faith is concerned.

If that offends some of you, well, tough. True, we have no right at all to expect or demand a suffering-free state of false bliss that would leave each and all of us as bored living a sterile and stupid life. That is, if you can call something ‘life’ which has no challenge, no learning, no growing, all of which only come through trial, error, taking part, success, pain, loss, and suffering. (We can safely ignore the many fools who think that way.) But does there have to be the kind of suffering that some people go through? Suffering of apparently unquenchable pain, immeasurable loss, utter hopelessness, total abandonment? Suffering that will end in a slow death, like lung cancer? The very fact that there is such suffering gives good cause to doubt not only the value of the whole human race, but also the existence of any God that can be said to care in the slightest for what’s been created, any God who has power over all things, any God who is anything other than a horrible brute who finds sadistic whimsical joy in squeezing every last drop of suffering out of them. It would seem to rule out anything even vaguely resembling the God that Christians speak of — and rule in a God who deserves our utter hatred not our worship.

Except for one thing ……..

…except that God knows this is true, and set out to do something about it. Not by overriding the freedom God had put into nature and into creatures, especially the human ones. Not by working instant repairs on the universe so that all is blissfully well (that would be a jerk-God, a more powerful version of the fools I wrote off earlier), or by pulling a string here or there from a distance. But by choosing to fully take part in what is happening. The choice : soiled ancient diapers, skinned childhood knees, and dirtied adult feet. God felt what acceptance and rejection are like at a human level. God walked among people in the same way they walk among each other, talk to them at their level, with their sufferings small and large, face to face, person to person. God taught them in their language, with sound waves instead of spiritual whispers, from within their tradition, from within the world they knew, a world teeming with truth smothered in their own lies. But even more : God had to face the ultimate in human rejection — to be publicly executed for having spoken and lived the truth. That’s something not even God wanted to go through, but the whole point of it all was to go through things that no one wants to go through, if that’s what it takes to complete the task at hand, for real. (In fact, that’s what ‘for real’ is all about.)

Jesus was that choice. Jesus is the divine answer to suffering. Jesus is the answer a Christian has to the problem of suffering. Jesus knows. Jesus cares. And Jesus is suffering alongside each one who suffers, ever more so as the suffering increases. The ‘why’ of suffering is a m

ystery; you’ll never know the reason why, or even if there is a reason. The reply of God is no mystery, or at least, no more mysterious than love itself.

"Mystery is not the absence of meaning, but the presence of more meaning than we can comprehend"
—- Dennis Covington

"You need not cry very loud; God is nearer to us than we think."
—— Brother Lawrence

BUT, HE’S NOT HERE ANYMORE …

Yet Jesus is not the Christian’s answer to suffering by Himself. The phrase that the New Testament used for describing the fellowship of Christ’s followers is "the Body of Christ". Jesus is the head of the Body. That, of course, means that Jesus is not the arms, legs, hands, and such. That is what the believers are. As Paul saw it, they are a unit, a whole, just as a human body is a whole, yet each believer is an identifiable part with a function in the overall Body.

Jesus is no longer physically here. His role as head is signaled to the Body through the Spirit, the nerve impulses that cause the Body to work. Jesus can no longer hold the hand of the sufferer, wrap His arms around them, and give the comfort of a physical embrace. He can no longer move His legs to where the sufferers are, so that He can physically address them face to face, look them in the eyes, grasp hold of their needs, render through sound waves the needed words of comfort or challenge, lay hands to bring physical healing. That role is to be done by the Body of Christ in the physical world — that is, by the believers, as a whole, in subgroups and organizations, and as people.

If you want to see a key part of God’s answer to suffering, look into a mirror. If what you’re looking at isn’t much of an answer to anyone’s suffering, then pray that the Spirit’s signals start directing you.

Good Suffering

Evil does cause suffering—but not always. Love can cause suffering. Beauty can be the occasion for suffering. Children with their demands and impetuous cries can cause suffering. Just the toil and trouble and stress of daily life can cause suffering. Yet surely these are not to be termed evil. Humans have an unfortunate tendency to try to prove that God has nothing to do with suffering and evil. Meanwhile, suffering goes on.

Martin Luther suffered spiritually and physically. But he saw God’s hand in the suffering and wrote: “He kills our will that his may be established in us. He subdues the flesh and its lusts that the spirit and its desires may come to life.” Beyond his own experience—based, in fact, on the cross—he asserted that whoever does not know God hidden in suffering does not know God at all. If God has nothing to do with suffering, what is he involved with?


Salvation Through Suffering

Suffering, the Bible proves, can be redemptive. This must be the case because it is only through suffering and the cross that sinners can see and come to know God. The cross is suffering. But it is suffering from God and it is good. That is the deepest reason why we call the Friday of the crucifixion good.


Rather than knowing God in a way that would be convenient for us, the only way to know God is through suffering, the suffering of the one who saves us. Luther called this a theology of the cross—a theology that calls a spade a spade, and suffering, when it is redemptive, good.

—Gerhard O. Forde, Adapted from On Being a Theologian of the Cross, © 1997 by Wm. B. Eerdman’s Publishing Company, Grand Rapids, MI. Used with permission; all rights reserved. To order this book on demand title, contact the publisher at 800.253.7521 or visit www.eerdmans.com.

Self-Mutilation=Self-Medication

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Startling Stats

1. 1.5 percent of all Americans deliberately harm themselves.

2. 12 percent of college students admit to harming themselves.

3. 60-70 percent of self-injurers are female.

4. 35-80 percent also battle eating disorders.

5. Self-injury usually starts in adolescence and lasts between five to ten years-longer if untreated.

6. 90 percent of self-injurers begin cutting/burning as teens; their struggle often extends into their mid-20′s to early 30′s.

—Elaina Whittenhall

Self-Mutilation

A disturbing situation has emerged among teens: the practice of self-mutilation. Teenagers who self-mutilate – overwhelmingly girls – are inflicting pain and injuries on their own bodies. While it’s estimated that only one percent of the American population self-mutilates, the emotional issues that drive them – and the physical fall-out from such practices as cutting and burning – make self-mutilation a serious problem.

Types of Self-Mutilation

Cutting is but one of the self-mutilating behaviors adolescents may exhibit. Other common practices of self-mutilating behaviors include burning, bruising, breaking of bones (especially digits), picking at the skin or "wound interference" (the practice of producing a wound and not allowing it to heal).

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What Causes Self-Mutilation?
There is no stereotypical person who will choose to mutilate his or her own body, but experts say it’s a process that stems from the inability to deal with stress or intense emotions.

"Self-mutilation is a desperate attempt to have some control over unbearable feelings of aloneness, loneliness and helplessness," says Dr. Margaret Paul, a book that examines self-mutilation. "When a teen or young adult has not learned healthy ways of managing these intense feelings, they turn to physical pain as a way to blot out the emotional pain or gain a sense of control over the pain they feel. In a strange way, they are really not trying to hurt themselves – they are trying to protect themselves from something even more painful than the physical pain."

According to SAFE-Alternatives, an organization that helps self-mutilators, those who practice it say they do it when they feel fear, anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety or other emotions that are just too much to handle. Those who self-mutilate often feel they can’t express themselves verbally or otherwise. As these feelings remain inside, they build up to dangerous levels and can eventually result in self-mutilating behavior.

"Cutting is physically painful – it hurts," says Dr. Paul. "But to a mutilator it’s absorbing. It’s doing something. It’s controlling something. It’s causing something. It’s making it happen and not being at the effect of outside forces over which they feel like they have no control."

When parents learn a child is hurting herself, they often feel helpless.

According to SAFE-Alternatives, most adolescents who self-mutilate tend to be perfectionists. They feel they must live up to or exceed the standards set for them by their parents and peers. When they are unable to do this, their emotions become confusing, and they tend to result to what they know – causing harm to their own bodies.

"Children are put under a huge pressure to perform," Paul says. "They have to perform in all aspects of their lives. They have to do well in school; they have to get good grades; they have to have enough friends; they have to look a certain way. There are these huge pressures on them to look and perform in certain ways, and they are often not seen for who they are."

What Can Parents Do

Parents may discard their child’s altered behavior as a phase or something that will pass. And the "weirdness" of the behavior might induce a "taboo" effect – parents will often approach the issue timidly.

clip_image005[1]"Their parents don’t even begin to know how to see [the kids] for who they are," says Dr. Paul. "So  even if the parent tries to go and talk to [the child], they are talking different languages. The parent isn’t really getting what the child is truly feeling, what the pressures are, what the fears are, what the stressors are, what the overwhelming feelings are about. These feelings can get so intense as to be unbearable that the child wants to jump out of their skin. A parent doesn’t want to hear that. They want to know that their child is normal and that all is well."

Parents should not assume they are the cause of the stress in the child’s life. Adolescents experience intense stress in places other than the home such as school and work. "Although the home environment needs to support what’s going on with the child, it’s not always that the parents are hypercontrolling or unavailable," says Dr. Paul. "It may be that [the parents] don’t understand what’s going on at school o

r what’s going on with peers or how to help their child."

What to Look For
There are signs parents can watch for if they suspect their adolescent may be practicing self-mutilating behaviors. Unexplained or frequent injuries, wearing jeans, long pants or long sleeves consistently – even in warm or hot weather – exhibiting the want for isolation or "being alone" and the presence of blood stains on the inside of clothing may be clues into a child’s self-mutilating behavior.
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These behaviors are not attempts at suicide. They are attempts to gain control over life. "Self-mutilating behaviors, as well as eating disorders, drug or alcohol use and extreme violent behavior are all cries for help," Dr. Paul says. "These kids are saying, ‘I don’t know what to do, so this is what I do instead. And don’t try to take it away from me because it is all I have.’ There is no place where we learn how to manage our intense fear, anxiety, hurt, anger, depression or whatever the feeling is. There is no one place that teaches that. A person must find a method that works for them. Whether spiritual meditation, breathing or something else that helps an adolescent manage inner stress, having the equipment to deal or cope is the first step in gaining control."

"What does the Bible say about self-mutilation / cutting?"
In the Old Testament of the Bible, self-mutilation was a common practice among false religions. 1 Kings 18:24-29 describes a ritual in which those who worshiped the false god Baal slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom. Because of the traditions of pagans, God made a law against this sort of practice.

Leviticus 19:28 says, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD.”

In the New Testament, cutting oneself was associated with someone who was possessed by demons (Mark 5:2-5). It was characteristic of behavior caused by evil spirits. Today, self-mutilation is rarely used for ritualistic practices or actual demon possession, but instead usually by teen-agers and young adults who have misplaced anger and pain that they are attempting to work out in self-destructive ways. Instead of dealing with emotional pain, some people would rather bring themselves physical pain, which actually serves as a relief from stress. Unfortunately, though, this sense of relief is quite short-lived, and the feeling of wanting to be more self-destructive quickly returns.

The Bible doesn’t talk about self-mutilation in terms of depression or anxiety, but it is very important that whoever is making a practice of this seeks immediate psychological (and hopefully Christian) counseling. This behavior also indicates, or can lead to, drug and/or alcohol abuse, eating disorders, identity disorders, and suicidal thoughts or even attempts.

1 Corinthians 6:19 tells us how important our bodies are to the Lord. We no longer belong to ourselves, but instead we belong to Christ, who purchased us at a high price. We should not abuse one of the greatest gifts we have been given.

A person who is struggling with self-mutilation should seek immediate counsel from a pastor and/or Christian counselor. Self-mutilation is the result of an incorrect view of yourself and of your personal value to God. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ and a proper understanding of His love is the only true cure for self-mutilation

Why even Christian teens aren’t immune from the epidemic of self-mutilation

—and what you can do.

A Troubling Trend

This behavior has many names: cutting, self-injury, self-mutilation, self-violence. It includes not only cutting but also scratching, picking scabs, burning, punching, bruising or breaking bones, or pulling out hair. Though death isn’t the goal of this deliberate, repetitive harm to one’s body, it can cause scarring, infection, and even fatality if a cut goes too deep or an infection isn’t treated.

Self-injury crosses economic brackets, education, race, gender, and age. But the majority of those involved are middle- to upper-class adolescent girls. Exact statistics are hard to pinpoint because the behavior often is hidden. But one thing’s clear: The growing trend of self-injury isn’t confined to teens outside the church.

"I know people whose self-injury started because they were so disgusted with themselves, they felt hurting themselves was the only logical thing to do."

"I felt rejected. My mother was a counselor but didn’t have time to talk to me. My father lived in a different state. Boyfriends failed me, and I didn’t know Jesus for whom he was. I wanted something I could control, a sense of power—and cutting gave me that."

When parents see the wounds on their teen’s arms, they often react in fear, shock, and anger. They threaten. They beg. They want it to stop. "Two common reactions are either to become furious at the teen and to punish her, or to minimize the behavior as a phase or bid for attention and to ignore it."

"Endorphins released during cutting often soothe some deeper emotional pain—rejection, depression, self-hatred, or helplessness," Vernick explains. A teen who self-injures finds instant release through the biochemical reaction and correlates cutting with comfort.

Lader describes self-injury as "self-medication." Cutters haven’t learned to express their emotions, so the feelings persist. "The teen uses physical pain to communicate something she’s unable or unwilling to put into words," explains Vernick. "She needs help to process whatever emotional pain she feels so she’ll learn healthy ways of dealing with hurts instead."

"It’s more prevalent among Christian teens than people like to think," she says. "Self-injury is just beginning to be recognized and treated in Christian circles. If you do it, you feel like a freak. You feel unlovable, as if you were beyond God’s grace. But a cutter needs to realize Jesus loves her as she is—and that his atonement is sufficient for her s

ins."

While self-injury can be a squeamish topic, it’s an important one. And no matter how this behavior appears to the outside world, God views these teens and their parents through a lens of worth.

Resources :

  1. Meier Clinics 1-888-7clinic or www.meierclinics.com
  1. Suzanne Eller tseller@daretobelieve.org
  1. Wendy Lader wlader@aol.com
  1. Leslie Vernick LeslieVern@aol.com
  1. Lysamena lysamena@lycos.com
  1. Lysamena Project on Self-Injury www.self-injury.org
  1. S.A.F.E. Alternatives 1-800-DONT-CUT or www.selfinjury.com
  1. Secret Shame www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
  1. Brooke Shewmaker littlelamb81@aol.com

Essential Resources

  1. Cutting: Self-Injury and Emotional Pain (e-book) by Elaina Whittenhall (InterVarsity Press)
  1. Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation by Steven Levenkron (Norton)
  1. A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong (Viking)
  1. Bodily Harm by Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader (Hyperion)

24 Hour National Crisis Lines

Young Adult Crisis Hotline

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)



     800-273-TALK (8255)  www.nmha.org
     800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
     800-334-HELP (4357)
     800-799-SAFE (7233) Domestic Violence Hotline
     866-4-U-Trevor – for GLBTQ youth
     877-332-7333 Teen Hotline

           ______

S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES®

Need Help? 800-DONTCUT

S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES® is a nationally recognized treatment
approach, professional network, and educational resource base,
which is committed to helping you and others achieve an end
to self-injurious behavior. Self-injury is known by many names,
including self-abuse, self-mutilation, deliberate self-harm.

           __________

Therapist Referrals

http://www.selfinjury.com/referrals_therapistreferrals.html

Engaging our Culture? or ARE WE STUCK ON LIVING Christian PRINCIPLES?

incarnational_living

Engaging our Culture? Or ARE WE STUCK ON LIVING Christian PRINCIPLES?

 

In the beginning the Word already existed. He was with God, and he was God. He was in the beginning with God. He created everything there is. Nothing exists that he didn’t make. Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it”. So the Word became human and lived here on earth among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the only Son of the Father.” (John 1:1-5; 14 NLT)

 

…"having a form of godliness but denying its power" (2 Tim 3:5).

 

ARE WE STUCK ON LIVING Christian PRINCIPLES?

God never called us to to live by Christian principles. He calls you to live in relationship with the living God, Jesus Christ. We are to literally live an incarnate life moment by moment. Asking God to help us when we fail to get up quicker than the last time we have failed. Incarnation living is to live life from not our own self or our own desires. Incarnation living is to represent in a bodily form Christ who is supplying our life from within as our source. When we embody Christ to those around us we are representing the pierced hands, feet, and speared side of Christ. We are helping people to the heart of God through in living form being who Christ is and all that he has done by Grace not representing oneself, we represent a Kingdom here on earth because Christ who is our King reigning and ruling from our hearts as a channel of His kingship to those of another kingdom. We make the subjective,objective and through having God’s interests, thoughts and feelings live them through our Human spirit that has been regenerated inwardly to outward representation of the Throne of God that is with in us now. When we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit, who is our Source that has internally transfigured us from within.  We are by every moment the reality of Christ to the world by manifesting the Glory from within our very lives demonstrate plainly, relevantly, and practically the bodily form of God upon this earth from our new hearts and new nature. Our new nature with in us was birthed from above and from within ourselves so it does not depend upon our own effort to have God be channeled or flows out from us. God the Holy Spirit is the Living Water that will flow through us to make obvious and apparent who God is and what He has already performed and accomplished. The unfinished work of God is to emerge the Finished work of God to the Lost and depraved world around us through our lives as we are the manifestation of the invisible God.   We are the visible and external embodied truth of God for God’s Truth lives within us we can be the personification of Christ who has preeminence of our lives. This means that we live the personal qualities of God’s nature that lives within our new hearts and by our new Christly minds.

Incarnational Living

Incarnational living finds its source in the love and concern of God for His creation. God proved, in a real way, His care for humankind by becoming human being. It must be this love of God that embraces us and motivates us, in turn, to care for others.

Without giving up His divine character, Jesus became fully immersed within the culture of the people to whom He brought the excellent News. He was part of the culture, yet transcended it. He lived contentedly surrounded by the culture, yet was a representative of transformation. The incarnation is a difficult to comprehend and exist within the world of the un-churched culture. We must make the Great News culturally relevant to them, and take it into their world.

Outreach to the un-churched must consider the issues of incarnation by going where people go, and living in their world. The methods we use to reach them must be based upon developing authentic relationships that are living. We must model a lifestyle of Christ-likeness in the context of friendship and serving people as Christ has served us. The church must meet the needs of the un-churched within the world in which they live, instead of confrontational evangelism, practicing servant evangelism and living an incarnate life as living epistles that can be easily read, overflowing with the life of Christ from within as a follower of Christ.

Because Jesus is love incarnate, He chose to leave the glory of heaven and dwell among men. Think about this… God the eternal Son became man to dwell side by side with each of us that he created! Now we must prove through our lives that man can still dwell eternally side by side with God.

Incarnational living is not just about remembering an event in the past but the events of the future as well. We must come to realize that the best days are ahead of us, not behind. The Kingdom of God is just around the corner. We must stop yearning for the good old days and begin to look forward with joyous anticipation and excitement that the best is yet to come. God is yearning to be incarnate in your life…today and in all your tomorrows. The Kingdom of God is just ahead of us. It is time for us to look farther down the road. The fullness of His Glory is still yet to be revealed !!

Jesus, the God who became man, is our example. Without giving up His divine qualities, He nevertheless became fully immersed within the culture of the people to whom He brought the Great News. He was part of the culture, yet transcended it. He lived happily within the culture, yet was an agent of transformation. Are willing to be also agents of transformation today with our lives and engage culture.

Incarnate Defined:

Incarnate can be defined as: To represent in or as if in bodily form; to embody: To represent in bodily or material form to include; to integrate: represent; materialize; externalize: make external or objective, to turn outward; To direct interest, thoughts, or feelings into a channel leading outside himself or herself. make external or objective, or give reality to, make manifest: To show or demonstrate plainly; reveal, exhibit, make plain, clear, obvious To make manifest or apparent to represent  in or as if in bodily form: body forth Readily seen, perceived, or understood materialize : emerge To take physical form or shape. To cause to become real or actual , objectify: To make objective, external, or concrete, make external or objective, or give reality to, personalize: To take (a general remark or characterization) in a pe

rsonal manner. To attribute human or personal qualities is to personify Make personal or more personal, personify: To think of or represent as having personality or the qualities, thoughts, or movements of a living being from within  

One of the weaknesses of the Church today is that we preach and teach people principles without the relationship. We teach so much head knowledge and bible doctrine on one extreme or on another extreme share stories that contain little or no biblical truth nor how to apply it relevantly in practical Christian living through the Word of God.  These extremes are so prevalent in the American or Western church that we have disengaged from the culture and put bars on our churches to keep the sick or those that don’t dress like us, act like us, talk like us, behave like us, or who really doubt and are just as skeptical as Apostle Thomas, which Christ came to seek and save out of the religion to bring them into a relationship. The church mostly has become institutionalized or become so established in organization it has lost its organic nature. The church is Christ’s Bride and is living we can try through religion to over program, make it consumer friendly, or become a movement of together through the organism of the Body of Christ here on earth. Instead it has become a refuge from the World, as an alternative to Changing the world by turning the World upside down by operating within the world but not of the world through living Christ incarnate to the lost and dying world.  

The western church is big on ten step programs, "how-to" methods and acrostics to illustrate memorable ideas. There is a place for establishing principles to change negative behavior. However, we are not called to have a relationship with principles, but a living God. Living by principles is the equivalent to living by the law in the Old Testament. It is rooted in the Greek system of learning and is dependent upon our strength instead of being led and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Principle-based living is powerless living. This makes our Christian experience a religion instead of a relationship. "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law" (Gal 5:18).

We read about principle-based followers in the book of Acts, "The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade. No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people" (Acts 5:12-14). There was a group of followers who liked being taught but never entered the game.  The prophet Jeremiah tells us about the nature of God and His desire for every believer.

This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

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Engaging our Culture?

When the church embraces this mandate, how does it engage the culture around it? On the one hand, everyone within the church interacts daily with the culture in which they live. On the other hand, the church exists as a subculture that is out of step with larger Western society. We as the Church have tended to be reactionary rather than missional. We are known for building high walls around our churches and doing in-reach really well with programing our people like prisoners are programmed in institutions. We have our unspoken rules in the church, that sound like prison programing instead of freedom and Grace. This lack of missionary spirit has contributed to the churches mass marketing approach and consumerist culture. Every culture that has no missionary presence will eventually become a secular society. We are loosing ground every day with thousands of churches closing or declining in attendance rapidly. If we do not wake up and sound the alarm we will look around ten years from now and wonder what has happened to the CHURCH.

Instead of engaging the culture in which we exist, we have been prone to long for the return of 1954. Rather than incarnate the body of Christ within our present culture, we tend to stand against the culture and chastise the deterioration of society.

Should the church seek to be relevant to the culture in which it exists? On the one hand, the Church must always be distinct from the world in which it exists. We must, for instance, be distinct in the way that we treat one another, as our love for one another is a witness to the power of Christ within our community. On the other hand, we can not be the body of Christ incarnate to this culture if we do not become part of this culture. Christ came into our world and entered a particular time and place. So we as the church becomes Incarnational, the body of Christ manifested within the culture of our missionfield which is everywhere we are in the culture.

One might argue that the church should be wholly distinct from culture, that the culture within the church should be formed only by scripture. This argument would be stronger if it were possible for any church to remain distinct from its culture.

Friend, have you been guilty of living a life based on principles instead of knowing the One who authored the principles? Invite Jesus to be Lord over your life and begin to spend time with Him every day. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you through every moment of your day.

Visioneering & MAKING VISION STICK Book Reviews

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               MAKING VISION STICK by Andy Stanley

Andy Stanley is one of my favorite leaders, pastors, and authors.  I devour everything he writes.  This is a nice, "little" book on some great points about "making your vision stick".  Great title huh?  At first I thought that this was just a reprint of some of the sections of Visioneering, Andy’s phenomenal book on getting a vision from God and living it out with everything in you.  Visioneering  focuses on Nehemiah and his journey on rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.  The first part of Making Vision Stick reproduces some of that material but much new material is added and it is great.

Andy’s wisdom and insight regarding vision is very practical.  "Vision Slippage Indicators" and there was some great stuff in there to apply to your leadership.  Let’s face it, all leaders, organizations, and churches can be guilty of "vision slippage" every once in a while.  It’s good to know there are indicators out there to help us see that.  This is a tiny, 75 page mini-book that you can easily read in an afternoon.  It is worth your time.

MAKING VISION STICK noteworthy quotes:

"Vision is all about "what could be" and "should be", but life is about right this minute… The urgent and legitimate needs of today quickly erase our commitment to the "what could be" of tomorrow."

"To make your vision stick, your audience needs to understand what’s at stake.  It’s the "what’s at stake" issue that grabs people’s hearts."

"To make it stick, you need to find ways to build vision casting into the rhythm of your organization."

"To make vision stick, a leader needs to pause long enough to celebrate the wins along the way."

"When there are no stories to tell, something’s wrong."

"Leaders must keep their antennae up for "new" things that have the potential to distract from the "main" thing."

MAKING VISION STICK by Andy Stanley

(Summarized in these 5 things Below.)

5 things that help make vision stick:

1.  STATE IT SIMPLY.

Take time to think through what exactly it is you are trying to accomplish.

What is the vision?  And state it in a way that you can say it quickly and succinctly. 

The memorable is portable.  You need a portable vision.

Doesn’t have to be cool or rhyme…

Curse of Knowledge – you know so much of what you’re doing you assume everyone else knows what you’re doing.

Vision doesn’t stick!

People aren’t asking stupid questions….they’re just showing us how poorly we’ve communicated it.

What is it that people who volunteer in your organization come together to do?

One campaign – “to make poverty history.”  You’ll know this vision for the rest of our lives!

Doesn’t even have to be original.

Not just committed to GROWTH….committed to MULTIPLICATION.

Its’ one thing to say one thing over and over who sit in front of you in rows….  Entirely different to communicate it through several tiers…

Sometimes very powerful statements and vision statements come accidentally!

As you think about what you’re trying to do, you serve yourself and others well to ask yourself, “when people show up for work or plan a service, etc…  What have we come together to do?”  What’s the one sentence job description associated w/ organization?

2.  CAST IT CONVINCINGLY

Neh 2 – the ultimate explanation/illustration of casting vision.

Nehemiah – the WALL has been town down for a long time….  Casts vision as to WHY they need to REBUILD NOW….

Did it in 50 + days…

3 components:

    Define the problem
    Offer a solution
    Explain WHY and WHY NOW.

If people don’t feel the problem they are not excited about the solution.  EVER!  You need to learn to craft your vision as a solution to a problem.  You’ve got to understand the problem that your vision is a solution for.

Most people don’t have a problem w/ Jesus…..they just don’t like the church.

What is the problem that our vision addresses?

To ask yourself:

What must be done in the environment you find yourself in?

What would go undone if your organization ceased to exist?

“Business Solutions” – Google this.  Because businesses ha

ve learned to position themselves as a solution to a problem.

3.  REPEAT IT REGULARLY

You have never stated it enough.  Look at the rhythm of your organization….

At Northpoint – Jan high attendance….  Uses this time for vision casting.  Staff asks, “Shouldn’t we do something practical?”  No! 

You need to discover what those are and build into the rhythm the times to cast vision.  Can’t do it sporadically.

When Andy casts vision, he almost always feels like he just preached the SAME THING!!  But people still get moved by it!  Why?  Because vision doesn’t stick!

4.  CELEBRATE IT CONSISTENTLY

Not only a matter of repeating it…. But find ways to celebrate it!

When you catch somebody living out the vision the way you anticipate, celebrate it!  Show it! 

Say, “This is what I’m talking about!”

Stories do more to clarify more than anything.

An emotion brings to life these phrases, sentences, etc…

5.  EMBRACE IT PERSONALLY

Talk about it!  In your attempts to be humble or below the radar – you might be missing opportunities.  Gives people permission to push the envelope in their own life.

Influence of our Tongue

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The tongue is influential weapon and its ammunition is the words we articulate. Our words are so authoritative that they can consecrate or curse, give confidence or dishearten, injure or mend, shred apart or construct. Our words can even persuade the way we act and feel as well as determination our mind-set and attitude on life in impacting our viewpoint. Our viewpoint then will effect out action and lifestyle. Our thoughts control our will which relates to daily life from the inside out.

The power of influence can change individuals. There is a big effect of our words on the people around us and also will cause action individually. Therefore we should be very careful with the influence of our words, calculate your thoughts and carefully listen to every syllable to what we are saying. Why? When we shâma` we are listening and in word pictures it is directly connected to obedience. In the west we hear something process the thought and it does not directly correlate with action.

In Hebrew language In ancient Hebrew, like in Chinese and ancient Egyptian, every word is formed by adding pictures together to "paint" or illustrate the meaning of the word. A word picture is a word that is described by pictures.

You don’t have to be able to read Hebrew in order to understand and to use this effectively when you read the Bible. When Hebrew was first written, each letter represented both a sound and a picture. Even if you or the people you teach are not familiar with the Hebrew sounds and have no experience with this language, the pictures you see inside the words will speak for themselves.

Why is Hebrew Word Pictures are important to believers?


"Every so often, something comes along that can help move your spiritual life into high gear. I’m convinced that "Hebrew Word Pictures" is such a concept. With so many books and conference about biblical principles, this one can help you better understand and love God’s Word itself.

As someone who’s studied "word pictures" for years, seeing them come alive in the very letters of Scripture is like adding color to a classic movie. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in gaining a deeper love and understanding of the Scriptures.

shâma` – ‘hear, heed, understand & obey’

If you constantly complain, you release poison into your life. Complaining is not based on your circumstances; it’s based on the attitude of your heart. If you will keep the right attitude during your time of adversity, God will honor you. When you truly trust God there are times you will have unanswered questions – don’t let that keep you from fulfilling your destiny. When you have a heart full of gratitude, it leaves no room for complaining. You can always find something to thank God for, no matter what kind of adversity you may face in life. So decide today to live a life of thanksgiving!

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put devious lips far from you." (Proverbs 4:23-24)

Let us encourage you today to watch what you are saying. Your words have creative power and you can use them as a destructive force or as an instrument of blessing. If you continually speak negative words over your life, then eventual defeat will be the result. In the same way, if you speak words of faith and victory, you will see a harvest of blessing not only in your own life, but also in the lives of those around you.

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Your words have the power to pollute or purify.

Proverbs 18:21 – Power of the tongue.

A. The tongue has the power to kill or the power to give life

B. “…they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” – They that love using the tongue shall eat the fruit thereof. In other words, they shall reap the rewards of the use of it, whether good or bad.

James 3:2 – 8 – Control of the tongue.

A. Verse 2 informs us that if we are able to control our tongue, we have reached some level of spiritual maturity.

B. It says we have achieved a level of spiritual maturity where we can control the rest of our body if we can control our tongue.

C. In Verses 3 & 4 we are given 2 examples of large things that are controlled by small things.

D. Verse 5 compares the tongue to the horse’s bridle and the ship’s helm (the ship’s steering mechanism).

E. Verse 6 explains the danger of a loose tongue. Expound…

F. Verse 7 explains that the tongue is harder to tame than wild beasts.

G. Verse 8 explains the evil nature of the tongue, the dangerous poison it spews out, and the inability of anyone to tame it. Only the one using it can control it.

James 3:9 – 12 – Inconsistencies of the tongue.

A. Here we see the often inconsistencies of the use of the tongue.

B. We’re reminded of the absurdity of such inconsistencies.

Matthew 12:34 – 37 – Connection between the tongue and the heart.

A. Here we are shown the connection between the heart and the tongue.

B. Basically, the tongue is connected to the heart, in a manner of speaking.

C. The words of the tongue are and extension of what resides in the heart.

D. Verse 34b makes it clear that the tongue expresses the heart’s content.

E. Verse 35 explains that the spiritual condition of the heart is evidenced by the words of the tongue.

F. Verse 36 informs us just how responsible we are for the words we wield.

G. Verse 37 makes it clear that justification or condemnation rest in the words we speak.

· If then, we our words wield these kinds of power toward others and in the judgment we are judged with, it stands to reason we need to understand how to use our tongues in a way that is acceptable to God.

Ephesians 4:24 & 25 – Speak the truth.

A. We must speak the truth.

B. We can lie so much we begin to convince ourselves our lies are true.

C. But, God is not deceived. He knows what is true, whether we will acknowledge it or not; and He will judge us according to truth, not according to what we present as truth.

Ephesians 4:29 – Corrupt use of the tongue.

A. Here, we are instructed to guard ourselves to keep corrupt words from coming out our mouths.

B. Corrupt words can be words that are vulgar, cursing, or damaging.

C. Notice, we are only to speak those things that minister grace to those who will be hearing our words.

D. Do you speak words that minister grace to those you speak to or about? Or, do you just ‘say what’s on your mind’ and consider what you have said later?

Proverbs 31:26 – Use kindness with the tongue.

A. Here, in the Biblical picture of what we call the perfect woman, I believe we see a type of the church in the state God intends it to be.

B. First, our mouths should express wisdom.

C. In James 3:14 – 16 we see described, a picture of earthly, sensual, devilish wisdom.

D. But, in James 3:17 we see a description of wisdom that is spiritual, from above.

E. Where the tongue is expressing the characteristics in Verses 14 – 16 we know the heart is filled with devilish content.

F. If the tongue is expressing the characteristics listed in Verse 17, we know the heart is spiritual.

G. Back in Proverbs 31:26, it also says “…in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

H. The law of kindness means that the mode of operation of her speech is consistently kind.

I. Ephesians 4:32a says to “…be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”

J. Words of kindness are not optional to the Christian; neither are they contingent upon deservedness.

K. Matthew 5:44 & 45 explain we are to “…bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

L. Our words are to be kind, blessing words; words of prayer, even when we are being rewarded with treachery and mischief.

Psalm 12:2 – 3 – Manipulation using the tongue.

A. Flattery and double-hearted deception will be met with the harsh judgment of God. They will be cut off, destroyed.

B. Verse 3b – 4 explains that those who think they shall prevail by manipulating the people in their lives with their skillful, but deceptive use of words.

C. These are proud, thinking themselves more intelligent than those they are attempting to manipulate.

D. Here, though, God makes it clear He will destroy them.

E. In their pride, they have not taken God into consideration.

James 2:12 & 13 – Use mercy when speaking.

A. We are to speak mercifully.

B. We will be judged according to the same degree we speak and show mercy.

James 2:14 – 18 – Vain use of the tongue.

A. Here we are warned of the futility of empty words.

B. Words without corresponding action to confirm their validity are empty and profitless.

Ephesians 5:1 – 2a & 3 – 4 – Using the tongue for foolishness.

A. We are to refrain from foolish or jesting words.

B. Foolish talking and jesting would include speaking vainly of things pertaining to God and His Word.

C. They would also include things that are indecent (filthiness).

D. They would also include jokes or jests that make fun of or demean others – such as ethnic, or racial jokes, or jokes about someone else’s appearance or intelligence.

E. These would also include words that would incite the flesh to sin.

Ephesians 5:4b & 19 – 20 – Spiritual content of the tongue.

A. We should speak words thanking the Lord.

B. We should speak words that invoke spiritual thoughts and heart yearnings.

Titus 2:7 & 8 – Careful words that need not be retracted or apologized for later.

A. We ought always to be careful to speak words that cannot be condemned; words we will not have to be sorry for saying or have to justify later.

Colossians 4:6 – Use consistent grace in speaking.

A. With grace – always speaking things that reflect the grace God has extended to you.

B. Seasoned with salt – words that, like salt, tend to preserve the one it is applied to; and words that provide a good flavor to the person or subject being addressed.

C. Our speech must “…always…” be like this. It should never be inconsistent.

D. We must remember that good, honest, pure words can quickly be nullified by destructive words.

E. Ephesians 4:29 – Therefore, our words should consistently be those that minister grace to the hearer.

Galatians 5:13 – 16 – Walking in the Spirit allows control of the tongue.

A. Verse 15 – If we bite and devour one another with the use of our tongues, we must understand that the result will be that we destroy each other.

B. This ‘biting’ and ‘devouring’ warned against is that of biting or devouring one another.

C. It is not strange, but rather to be expected that attacks will come from without, from wolves; but it is unnatural for sheep to attack each other.

D. It has been said that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded.

E. Ephesians 4:1 – 6 – The unity of the church is quickly destroyed by contentious or malicious words.

F. Mark 3:25 – Divisive destructive words wil

l destroy the effectiveness of a church and sometimes even the very church itself.

G. Verse 16 – The key to controlling the tongue and using it for the right purposes is to walk in the Spirit.

H. Proverbs 13:10 – A fleshly or carnally minded person will speak in pride, demanding his way, and this will always generate contention.

I. One who walks in the Spirit, on the other hand, will always seek the good of his brother instead of his own will; and will therefore speak only those things that edify his brother.

J. Verse 25 – Here we find that we can live in the Spirit and yet not walk in the Spirit. So, our salvation should be validated by our corresponding manner of life, particularly the way we use our tongues.

Ephesians 5:11 & 12 – Use the tongue to reprove wickedness.

A. We are not to participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, either by our involvement in them, or by our discussion of them.

B. Instead, we are to use our tongues to reprove, or confront them concerning their wickedness.

C. We should not let our silence give the appearance that we approve of evil.

D. The only way to keep this from happening is to speak against it.

E. This will not make us popular, for those who commit wickedness do not like to be challenged in it.

Romans 10:13, 14, & 16 – We must speak the gospel in order for people to be saved.

A. Verse 13 makes it clear that calling on the name of the Lord is how we are saved.

B. Verse 14 explains by the questions it asks that we cannot call on Someone we have never heard of.

C. Verse 16 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God.

D. Lifestyle evangelism is great but the message of the gospel must be heard in order for someone to believe and receive it.

 

How Do You Develop Spirit-Control?

 Victorious-Climber-Silhouetted-by-the-Sun-Photographic-Print-C12029818 

God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and Self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NCV)

Victorious people have one obvious trait in common: personal discipline. They are willing to do things that average people are unwilling to do.

Victorious individuals express their Spirit-discipline in these six ways of well established principles of living:

1. Victorious individuals master and their moods – They live by their commitments, not their emotions. They do the right thing, even when they don’t feel like it. “A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28 NLT).

2. Victorious individuals study their words – They use their minds to think carefully before opening their mouths. : “Those who control their tongue will have a long life ….” (Proverbs 13:3 NLT).

3. Victorious individuals surrender their reactions by living a yielded life – How much can you take before you react in your emotions? “People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs” (Proverbs 19:11 NLT).

4. Victorious individuals develop an established schedule – If you don’t establish your time, how you will spend your time, you can be sure that others will decide for you! Time is mans greatest gift and commodity. We can never make up for wasted nor for idle time. God wants us to redeem the time because the days are evil.

Let us detach ourselves from things trifling and insignificant, and give ourselves up to the study of things worthy our nature and capacity. We all value our possessions, and much more ought we to estimate our time.

“So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days” (Ephesians 5:15-16, NLT).

5. Victorious individuals are stewards of God’s money – We discover how to exist on less than what they make, and we invest the difference. The value an individual places on a concise budget will reveal management or stewardship of God’s money that we are privileged to manage rather than wondering where it went having it control you. You can tell: "Show me someone’s check book, and I’ll tell you where their heart is." “The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get” (Proverbs 21:20 NLT).

6. Victorious individuals preserve their health – That way they can complete more and enjoy their achievements: “… control your body and live in holiness and honor” (1 Thessalonians 4:4 NLT).

The spiritual disciplines you establish today will determine your victories tomorrow. It takes more than just willpower for lasting self-control. It takes a power greater than yourself, it comes from an internal victory that has been birthed inside of you before the foundation of the world by Christ. Think about this promise from the Bible: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

Will….is what is within a person that drives them to do what they do in life. It is the drive that influences major or even minor choices.The will can also be define similarly to the "any internally motivated action" usage, but more narrowly. In this sense, will is more a "creative spark," which has a certain independence and stubbornness. 

Willpower, is having the power to take control of it in a healthy level and able to manipulate those choices in order to achieve an important goal. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as “The strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans.”

My experience has been that willpower has absolutely nothing to do with long term success.  You can will power yourself to do something for a day or two, or a week or maybe a few weeks or even a few months, but eventually if your POWER TO CHANGE comes from will power, then you will fail.  Why?  Because will power was not designed to be a long term source of power in our lives.  It is a short term power source that we get used to tapping into for short term activities, and then try to use for long term activities out of habit.

So if will power doesn’t work, what does?  How do we make long lasting changes?  The answer is not a simple one that I can answer in a single paragraph.  Will-power,can only be part of the solution because it is so easy to “run out of gas.”

You can exercise your will-power without adopting a habit. Of course, if you direct your will-power at repeating the same activity day after day, week after week, you can form a habit. And, yes, if you do form a habit, very little will-power would be required after its formation.

Spirit-control is having the proper amount of Spirit discipline from the source of Living Waters which provides persevering strength and power. The Source of Life, through the internal river that flows through us develops Godly Spirit Control which translates into Discipline over time by Grace through systematic Faith (confidence). We can then choose what to do with God’s will, and therefore choose God’s desires and will continuously during every moment if we are plugged into the right source. When I am operating with an integrated Christly mind and I process my will through the right source the Holy Spirit, I am submitting my will to the will of the father in my daily life which gives me His control and thoughts about any given choice. I therefore can only think with the Mind of Christ which is through His Word which is God’s rational expression of thought.

Our Will power is related to Spirit-control,  except that it can happen for people do not operate through Christ. The exertion of one’s own will on one’s personal self – their behaviors, actions, thought processes can be modified through a source that is not alive and living. Godly Spirit-control comes from the perception of self hidden in God as our source and the ability to set up God’s given boundaries for that new self that is now integrated in to our new nature given as a gift from Christ by God’s Grace. Spirit-control can be expanded into several different areas gradually

. Godly Spirit-control is therefore is received from the living source of Christ through the Holy Spirit who has the the divine ability from within us to exert God’s strength and will over the inhibitions of the mind, soul and  body. This new source causes internal life change through the Living Water of the Holy Spirit which now flows through us as new creatures and our new hearts.

The source of Spirit-Control must be Christ or it becomes behavior modification, self source willpower or legalism rooted in our own strength not God’s Grace. God’s Mind integrates with our Mind to develop the Christly Mind. Christ’s Mind in our Mind is the source of the power of your unconscious mind which is fighting against your conscious intentions and resolutions. When we live the daily abundant life from within, from the source Christ, the things you want to do to overcome bad habits have no internal control because Christ has set us internally free from within, we need to harness the power of Christ integrated in the mind of Christ in our unconscious mind in a new abundant way so that your Spirit-control will be effortless through Christ alone. "Spirit-control and Spirit-discipline are the most important things we need to live an effective life through Christ."

The more I accept God’s control over my life in total surrender of my own will and desires, the more I am living a  spirit-controlled life which may look to be self-control but the source God gives me to fulfill His unique will and His particular desires for my life individually! This is a heavenly economy of God, always rewards those who have eternal victory from seeking first the Kingdom of God. God’s always gives His Eternal favor of internal victory for every believer who has Christ upon the Throne of His heart first.

Where do you need to develop Spirit-control? Is Christ upon the throne of your heart? Pray this prayer and call me at 1-877-702-2GOD please.

Father, I know that I have sinned and have been separated me from you. Forgive me, and now I want to turn my heart over toward you and Give you the throne of my Heart. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

 

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

 

Interesting Article : http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0846/is_7_24/ai_n13606433

WHY YOUNG ADULTS HATE CHURCH?

young adult chruch needs

 

Statistics that I recently read shed new light on my thoughts about church and what there is to like about it…

Did you know that…????????????????????

· Church members divorce their spouses as often as their secular neighbors.

· Church members beat their wives as often as their neighbors.

· Church members’ giving patterns indicate they are almost as materialistic as non-Christians.

· White evangelicals are the most likely people to object to neighbors of another race.

· Of the “higher-commitment” evangelicals, 26 percent think premarital sex is acceptable, while

· 46 percent of “lower-commitment” evangelicals believe it to be okay also. [1]

There are far too many young adults– both the ones that were never raised in church and young adults that were raised as active members of a church – that simply hate church.

Not so long ago, young adults began voting about their opinions of church with their feet. Today, many will vocally express the reasons why they hate church. Below are a few of the reasons that I have heard over and over from young adults. This is not a scientific study. These reasons are subjective, but they bear witness to some startling attitudes about church.

1)      Young adults hate church because they feel like it has nothing for them. They have trouble finding their place. How many times have you heard a young adult say, “I would go to Church, but they don’t have anything for me.” Or “I don’t go to church on Sunday nights, because they don’t have anything for me.”

Young adults do not see themselves as adults and therefore don’t feel like they fit into any of the adult activities. They also don’t see themselves as youth. What’s ironic, is that they are correct. Recent research has proven that adolescence in America goes on for much longer than it used to.[2]  Popular songs such as Britney Spears’ “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” is an anthem for this generation’s feelings on the subject.

2)      Young adults hate church because they are idealists. Many young adults’ spiritual depth, capacity for faith, and risk for God far outshine church members. (Of course, this is not true in every case.) This generation of young adults has a strong desire to live out their lives in a way that is wholly pleasing to God. They have not yet been jaded by many of life’s disappointments. They still believe in fighting for what is right. Too often, we, as adults, have learned to compromise in order to live a more comfortable life.

3)      Young adults hate church because they are self-focused. The act of being a vital member of a church requires a level of self-sacrifice that many young adults find too uncomfortable. Sin nature, our culture, their developmental place in life, and the generationally segmented church culture all have significant roles in this attitude of self-focus.

4)      Young adults hate church because young adults are immature. Young adults are often both immature and arrogant. Many of our churches value maturity and humility and subtly denigrate young adults for lacking those qualities.

5)      Young adults hate church because young adults hate anything that seems fake. Many churches subtly ask people to “fake it till they make it.” Young adults will not tolerate fakeness. They want authenticity and transparency and they can smell a fake a mile away.

6)      Young adults hate church because they think it is boring. Let’s be honest…. oftentimes church is not much fun. The elements of church that adults find satisfying and fun are very different from those of young adults. Young adults are looking for adventure and novelty and reality shows us that we are in a battle. Other than being scared occasionally, they concentrate on what makes them happy while adults run around trying to save lives and care for the wounded.  

7)      Young adults hate church because they hate bureaucracy and churches are associated with bureaucracy. Finding a  young adult with a positive stance when the word “denomination” is mentioned is like trying to find … well you get the point. The word denomination is associated (rightly or wrongly) with bureaucracy, fighting, and the politicization of Jesus.

8)      Young adult hate churches because churches are “lonely places.” I have heard this phrase over and over again. I suspect that it is a statement that the church has no real community for young adults. It could be a statement that churches are unfriendly places, but I suspect that it has more to do with a lack or real community.

Admitting that young adults and young adults have a problem with church is not easy for me. I think that it should not be easy for any of us. After all, we love Jesus, His church, and His young adults. We know that Christ started the church and that He loves His church. We know that young adults need to be actively involved in a church body – to be obedient and to become all that Christ wants them to become.

So, what can we do to help young adults overcome negative feelings about church?

1)      We must recognize where their negative feelings are coming from….

a.       Friends – although young adults are young adults, because of delayed adulthood, many still behave and rely on friends in a profound way. In a recent book entitled The Nurture Assumption, author Judith Harris hypothesizes that parents actually have less impact on an adolescent than the friends that he or she chooses.[3]  As ministry leaders, we must recognize that friends’ opinions about God and church are of primary importance to an adolescent.

b.      Culture via Television and Media –
it’s easy for us to ignore this influence because of over-talking, but what’s influencing our adolescents’ culture is a multi-billion dollar business. Companies like MTV make their money by creating a culture that kids will buy. This is a generation of media gluttons and as we know from scripture we become what we take in.

c.       Past personal experience – young adults may be young but they remember negative past experiences and unfortunately many young adults have had negative church experiences. (such as church splits, worship wars, and clergy immorality).

d.      Family attitudes – although friends are of primary importance, family experience is a close second and young adults “catch” attitudes about church from their families. Unfortunately, the percentage of adult Americans involved in church is dropping dramatically[4] leaving fewer adults with pro-church opinions.

2)      We must work to address their specific reasons for hating church.

a.       Idealism – Young adults are idealistic. They take Jesus seriously. They will give their whole heart to a cause in which they believe. We need to expose young adults to the outlandish challenges of Jesus and help them strive to live up to His expectations. We need to teach them to ignore the criticism that comes from adults that are no longer idealistic. We should encourage their idealism and seek to protect it for as long as possible. If young adults find a church that is radical about Jesus and His claims, they will respond.

b.      Maturity – Young adults are not adults. Because of delayed adulthood, they are really not young adults until very near the end of the college undergraduate degree. Therefore, we should not treat them like adults. We should strive to move them adulthood and maturity in Christ, while still recognizing the real maturity challenges that they face. As churches and ministries we should still seek to provide specialized ministry to young adults like we do children and youth. They are a special class of people and as a whole they do not possess the maturity to get over the “I’m not going because they don’t have anything for me” attitude.

c.       Community – Young adults travel in packs like wolves. If we seek to create a ministry that will truly reach lost young adults and disciple young adult believers then we must create a community for them. For too long we have viewed community-building activities such as retreats and fun events as a waste of time and a distraction. Many have felt that these “fun” activities distract us from evangelism and discipleship. However, this generation must have community as a foundation before anything else can be done.

3)      We must pray that God will speak to this generation about His church – that He will change their attitude and our attitude. Let’s face it, apart from a unique move of God, this generation will continue to struggle through life without the benefits of a church community.



[1] The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience by Ronald J. Sider

[2] Youth Ministry in an Age of Adulthood by Chap Clark, accessed at http://www.youthspecialties.com/articles/topics/ adolescent_development/delayed_adulthood.php

[3] The Nurture Assumption by Judith Harris (The Free Press, New York 1998)

[4] The End of American “Religion as We Know It”? by Charles Harper, accessed at http://moses.creighton.edu/kripke/news/S97-3.html

Culture of the Inner Man

Do not forget the culture of the inner man—I mean of the heart. How diligently the cavalry officer keeps his sabre clean and sharp; every stain he rubs off with the greatest care. Remember you are God’s sword, His instrument—I trust a chosen vessel unto Him to bear His name. In great measure, according to the purity and perfections of the instrument, will be the success. It is not great talents God blesses so much as great likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God.

Robert Murray McCheyne

 

 

CAN WE REALLY SAVE OURSELVES?

 

DOES BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION WORK?

IS MY WILLPOWER ENOUGH?

brazen_serpent

If you received a deadly snake bite, what would you do, submit to the prescribed treatment or question and doubt it? Would you first have to have all of your medical questions answered about the treatment? Would you rely on your own ability to provide the needed cure? Or would you do what common sense tells you to do, realize that you are in a serious condition and about to die, and without further delay accept the offered cure for what it is, the only remedy, your only hope.

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In the Old Testament portion of the Bible we read where the people of Israel faced just a situation. In Numbers, chapter 21, the people of Israel rebelled against God and Moses, and as retribution God sent poisonous serpents among the people, and as they were bitten they died. In God’s mercy He provided a cure for the snake bite by instructing Moses to make a brass serpent like the ones biting the people. After the brass serpent was made, Moses put it on a pole and lifted it up, and those who were bitten by a snake, if they would look to the uplifted brass serpent they would live. This was an act of obedience and faith by the one bitten.

religion-kills The New Testament tells of One Who was lifted up for all to behold and to be healed. This healing, however, is not from a snake bite, but rather from the ravages of sin. You see, we all inherited Adam’s sin nature (Rom. 5:12), and out of (or because of) that sin nature we commit the acts of sin. None of us are exempt – we are all sinners doing the acts of sin (Rom. 3:10-18), the wages of which are physical and spiritual death (Rom. 6:23), judgment (He. 10:27), and eternal damnation in hell for those who die without receiving Jesus Christ as personal Savior.

relkills Our problem is similar to the one that the people in Numbers 21 had – we can’t do anything to save ourselves. We are like two men in quicksand – neither can save the other, and the more self-effort struggle is applied, the deeper we sink. So what are we to do then? Hear the Word of God in John 3:14-16, “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Repentance: 

repentanceRepentance is the translation of the Greek word “metanoia”.  The literal meaning of “metanoia” is “a change of mind”.  “Meta” means, “change”.  “Noia” means “mind”.  So, therefore, “meta-noia” means a “change of mind”.  Before learning about metanoia, I am sure that you are already familiar with a Greek word with the prefix “meta”.  That word is “metamorphosis”.  “Meta” means “change”, and “morphosis” means “form or structure”.  This word metamorphosis is used to describe the change a caterpillar goes through to become a beautiful butterfly.  I am sure that you have studied about this change of form.  Repentance, therefore, (metanoia) is a change of mind.

This simply means that any person who will Change their mind of their sins and believe that Jesus Christ shed His blood and died on the Cross of Calvary as the full and final payment for the sin debt that we owe which is the judgement of death, and receive Him as personal Savior, that person will be saved for all eternity.

We Just look at Jesus. Do we Cure ourselves of our own sin by behavior modification or try to fix ourselves? We may and will or can to try,obviously resulting in the effect of utterly failing all the more. The powdering or perfuming of the flesh (the old sin nature, we all inherited Adam’s sin nature (Rom 5:12 ) will still remain dirty and smelly because of the root cause that need to be dealt with which is  our sin nature. The root cause of our old sin nature that needs to die daily by us looking to Christ daily and the work that Christ has already accomplished on the cross for all of us. We look at the person of Christ and He does the healing, Christ causes the internal changes of our lives from the work Christ finished on the cross of Calvary we daily are receivers of the past action that has continual effects. We do not perform the action of saving ourselves or cause ourselves to change. Christ has already, He became our sin and we become His Righteousness right in Him) (2 Cor 5:21).

This is a matter of looking and believing, Not looking and doing ourselves over to be like Christ. It is a daily process of becoming like Christ daily through the person and Work of the Cross, this is the Gospel of Grace which is the Good News. It would be really Bad news if we had to or must pay for our own sins in self-salvation to save ourselves. This type of Goodness is just as evil and wicked as an act of adultery. It is Spiritual adultery to even think that we can or could  save ourselves or cure ourselves from the serpent’s bite. The bite to be cured has only one remedy it does not need us at all, it only needed the person of Christ to be nailed to a cross to die a death so that we may live in Christ’s Finished Work.

The believing in John 3:16 is connected to looking in John 3:14-15 and Numbers 21-6-9. Did the ones who were bitten cure themselves of the serpent bite. They just turned from one direction they were going to another and just gazed at th

e Brass serpent on the poll which is a type of the Crucified Christ on a pole or Cross to satisfy the judgement of God toward us once and for all. The very moment they looked they lived. They received deliverance and healing from looking. We continuously receive Eternal life day by day. It is all in the look at the Cross and then our then faith then comes. Our faith is birthed from turning in our mind to the Work that was already accomplished for us through the person of Christ. We just have to receive life from looking to Jesus daily for he paid it all already.

Spiritual healing and deliverance from the grasp of sin is possible, today, right now – but only through salvation in Jesus Christ. The “old” way of life and habits are to be let go, because we have  become a new creation in Christ. Hear again God’s Word, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away: behold, all things are become new.” (2 Co. 5:17) Once a person receives Jesus Christ as personal Savior, he is not perfect, just forgiven, having the personal responsibility to just look to therefore live for Christ (2 Co. 5:15; 1 Co. 6:19-20).

The people in Numbers 21 were to look upon the brass serpent that Moses had made on God’s directions for their deliverance. No other substitute would do, no rocks, trees, birds – only that which God provided was acceptable. The same is true today my friend. For our salvation we are “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith: …” (He. 12:2).

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline 

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

yacrisisheadercardedit

Seismic Activity in California

With all the seismic activity in California lately, the below thoughts seemed relevant.  California’s Inyo County is home to the highest point in the lower 48, Mount Whitney. This Sierra Nevada peak is just five feet short of measuring 14,500 feet above sea level.

Less than 100 miles to the southeast, still in Inyo County, is Death Valley. This depression’s deepest point (near Badwater) lies some 282 feet below sea level. This is the lowest point not just in the 48 contiguous states, but in the whole North American continent.


There are a few neighboring mountains from which, on a clear day, you can see both of these locations. The temperature variation between these spots (the notoriously hot Death Valley and the thin, cold peak of Whitney) can be incredible.

Interesting.  It has been preached that the above facts are so like ourselves.  In the "first adam" of our existence on earth we can have the highest peak of the goodness of the Tree of Knowledge, even doing incredible things in the name of God, yet, so close is the potential of experiencing the ‘bad’ part of the Tree of Knowledge, too.  Man can be good, man can be so brutal and bad.  It’s our state of being.  Without the regeneration of Christ, we are left to highs and lows.  Hot and cold and nothing to rectify or justify our actions.  With our home in Jesus by faith however through salvation in His finished work, we take our place in the state of the "second adam" and we have a whole new viewpoint.  Thank God for that He gives us a daily portion of Himself.  We are of the "new mind" of Calvary’s forgiveness and find ourselves on a new mountain peak of God’s divine viewpoint. 

Now that’s when I feel like singing "The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Music…" and I like that song:)

Let’s be praying for our fellow Californians,

Scott Robinson 

Understanding Craving

Understanding craving

  • Describing craving
  • Identifying triggers
  • Avoiding cues
  • Coping with craving

    Because craving is such a difficult problem for so many abusers, this topic is introduced very early in treatment. Episodes of intense subjective craving for cocaine are often reported weeks and even months after the inception of abstinence. This experience can be both mystifying and disturbing to the abuser and can result in cocaine abuse if it is not understood and managed effectively.
    The goals of the session are to:

    • Understand the patient’s experience of craving.
    • Convey the nature of craving as a normal, time-limited experience.
    • Identify craving cues and triggers.
    • Impart and practice craving- and urge-control techniques.

It is important for patients to recognize that experiencing some craving is normal and quite common. Craving does not mean something is wrong or that the individual really wants to resume a life controlling problem.

Because of the frequency and the variety of circumstances in which a chemical substance or self-defeating behavior is self-administered, a multitude of stimuli have been paired with habitual abuse. These may act as conditioned cues or triggers for craving. Common triggers include being around people with whom one used chemical substances, having money or getting paid, drinking alcohol, social situations, and certain affective states, such as anxiety, depression, or joy. Triggers for craving also are highly individual, thus identification of cues should take place in an ongoing way throughout treatment.


To explain the ideas of conditioned cues is often enough to demystify the experience of craving and help individuals identify and tolerate conditioned craving when it occurs. It is also important to convey the time-limited nature of craving, that is, conditioned craving usually peaks and dissipates in less than an hour, if not followed by chemical substance use. Counselors should also explain the process of extinction of conditioned responses.

Describing Craving
Next, it is essential to get a sense of the patients’ experience of craving. This includes eliciting the following information.

  • What is craving like for you?
    Cravings or urges are experienced in a variety of ways by different patients. For some, the experience is primarily somatic; for example, "I just get a feeling in my stomach" or "My heart races" or "I start smelling it." For others, craving is experienced more cognitively; for example, "I need it now" or "I can’t get it out of my head" or "It calls me." Or it may be experienced effectively; for example, "I get nervous" or "I’m bored." It is important for the therapist to get a clear idea of how craving is experienced by the individual.
  • How bothered are you by craving?
    There is tremendous variability in the level and intensity of craving reported by individuals. For some, achieving and maintaining control over craving will be a principal treatment goal and take several weeks to achieve. Other individuals deny they experience any craving. Gentle exploration with individuals who deny any craving (especially those who continue to use cocaine) often reveals that they misinterpret a variety of experiences or simply ignore craving when it occurs until they suddenly find themselves using. Other, abstinent patients, who deny they experience any craving often, when asked, admit to intense fears about relapsing.
  • How long does craving last for you?
    To make the point about the time-limited nature of craving, it is often important to point out to individuals that they have rarely let themselves experience an episode of craving without giving in to it.
  • How do you try to cope with it?
    Getting a sense of the coping strategies used by individuals will help the therapist identify their characteristic coping styles and select appropriate coping strategies.

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It is important for patients to recognize that experiencing some craving is normal and quite common. Craving does not mean something is wrong or that the patient really wants to resume drug use.(Much of this material on key interventions used with episodes of craving was adapted from Kadden et al. 1992.)

Identifying Triggers
Therapists should then work with patients to develop a comprehensive list of their own triggers. Some patients become overwhelmed when asked to identify cues (one patient reported that even breathing was associated with cocaine use for him). Again, it may be most helpful to concentrate on identifying the craving and cues that have been most problematic in recent weeks. This list should be started during the session; the practice exercise for this session should include self-monitoring of craving, so patients can begin to identify new, more subtle cues as they arise.

 

Our lives are a series of habits, held together in perfect sequence by our subconscious mind. Whether it is over indulgence or the task of typing on my computer keyboard, the subconscious takes me through the paces without having to think about results – or consequences. Over 90% of our daily living is an action of habit, systematically driven by our subconscious mind. Healthy habits like washing our bodies, brushing our teeth, driving a car or looking both ways before crossing the street are behaviors learned by the Subconscious mind and fed back to us without a conscious thought. As we enter the New Year, many of us are choosing to create new habits, for healthier living.

 

Here are some tips to keep in m

ind:

1) All habits are learned behavior. The subconscious mind receives the impress of our repetitive thoughts in order to set habit patterns. Begin to take stock of your habits.

2) Become aware of your thinking patterns. Each thought and word is an affirmation. See if you are thinking negatively. To say or think, “No matter how much I try, I cannot keep my finances in order,” is negatively driven and no good can result from this. Don’t judge yourself. Merely observe your thoughts. Trust in your words and thoughts to create a healthy belief system.

3) Consciously set in motion healthy thoughts and words. Affirm positive thoughts and words: “I am bright and aware of my finances. I always bring in far more money than I need. My finances are healthy and in perfect balance.”

4) Do not allow the turbulence of change to cause you to falter from your healthy intent. While your subconscious is learning the new patterns, you are going to create a break in long established patterns. Like the farmer, you must disturb the soil to create the means to plant new seed. The kingdom of God is there within you, ready and supportive of your intentions. Habits are a healthy thing and your subconscious is your greatest ally if you will but allow yourself to direct and insist on the right and perfect results. approaching, adjusting and establishing new and healthy habits.

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/heroin/ase/Image33.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/heroin/ase/chap_4.htm&h=349&w=472&sz=7&hl=en&start=16&um=1&tbnid=UKAZp2QvCVslcM:&tbnh=95&tbnw=129&prev=/images%3Fq%3DAddictive%2BConditioning%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3DGFRD,GFRD:2008-17,GFRD:en%26sa%3DX

 

These are examples of CONDITIONING and the REALITY they represent:

 

  • ANGER OR RAGE WHILE IN A TRAFFIC JAM
  • FEAR OF SITUATION OUT OF OUR CONTROL, ANGER IS FEAR DISPLACED

 

  • RACIAL OR ETHNIC SLURS
  • FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN, THE OTHER – INHERITED FROM PARENTS, OTHERS

 

  • VERBAL BERATING OR JUDGMENT OF  OTHERS: FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS
  • DEFENSE MECHANISM TO AVOID RELATIONSHIP, ALSO FEAR OF REJECTION, HURT OR LOVE

 

  • FEAR OF FLYING
  • FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL, FEAR OF DEATH-FEAR OF LOSING ONESELF

 

  • ALCOHOLISM, DRUGS, ALL ADDICTIONS
  • FEAR OF THIS MOMENT AND MANY OTHERS- AN ESCAPE FROM REALITY

 

  • TELLING A LIE
  • FEAR OF FAILURE, NEEDING TO BE ACCEPTED BY OTHERS AND SELF

 

  • SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, ADULTERY
  • LOOKING FOR ACCEPTANCE, WANTED TO BE LOVED-FEAR OF REJECTION

 

  • NEED TO DOMINATE OR CONTROL OTHERS
  • FEAR OF RELATIONSHIP, INTIMACY, BEING ALONE

 

  • BELIEF IN A BETTER TOMORROW
  • REFUSAL TO LIVE THIS MOMENT AS THE ONLY REALITY

 

  • BELIEF IN THE "ME"
  • FEAR OF DEATH, FEAR OF OTHER

 

 

 The Meaning of Addiction book cover

This is an interesting Book The Meaning of Addiction by Stanton Peele and I want to preface that I do not agree with every statement. However I like the research and hope you will examine your beliefs about addiction and the hardliner ideas that addiction is a disease. You can access the entire book at the  link below.  I think it is a recommended read for alternative viewpoints on addiction and the causes and treatment options. This book has helped form my personal treatment of addictive and life controlling problems with thousands of individuals. I has been helpful to challenge the erroneous idea of addiction as a disease with competence and thorough evidence. I believe that the root cause of all life controlling problems is the God shaped hole in everyone’s soul that we fill will everything but God because of our Free volition(will which defines our human responsibility) and Total Depravity (called total inability and total corruption) It is the teaching that, as a consequence of the Fall of Man, every person born into the world is enslaved to the service of sin and, apart from the efficacious or prevenient grace of God, is utterly unable to choose to follow God or choose to accept salvation as it is freely offered. Total depravity is the fallen state of man as a resu

lt of Original Sin. The doctrine of total depravity asserts that people are by nature not inclined to love God wholly with heart, mind, and strength, as God requires, but rather all are inclined to serve their own interests over those of their neighbor and to reject the rule of God.

 

In His Grace forever,

Teddy

 

 

The Meaning of Addiction

http://www.peele.net/lib/moa.html

EIGHT PRINCIPLES WHEN DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

depression_test

 

EIGHT PRINCIPLES WHEN DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

Eight principles which are proven Biblical techniques which we can use to successfully deal with depression in our life, REGARDLESS OF THE CAUSE:

1. CONFESSION OF PERSONAL SIN:

Personal sin leads to depression, especially not isolated and confessed sin.We must deal with sin on a daily basis by isolating and confessing our sins directly to God the Father. Then getting on with our life or we will begin to enter into chain sinning and which will develop into habitual sin. If we don’t do this, sin becomes a burden which clouds our joy, drains our spiritual energy, and destroys our productivity and vitality. In short, sin is always depressing and extremely dangerous when left to fester because it erodes our rational minds!!

So, make it a spiritual habit to confess sins and walk in constant repentance the moment we are aware of them. This step toward recovery from depression is absolutely critical!!

2. THE FILLING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Holy Spirit fills us and controls our life when we have no unconfessed sin in our life. We can trust the Holy Spirit to reveal sin to us when we commit it, or even before to help us prevent entering into sin.

When the Holy Spirit is in control of our life, He produces His fruit in our life. And the fruit of the Holy Spirit does NOT include heaviness, depression, discouragement, disillusionment, anguish, sadness, dejection, or loss of vitality.

WHAT IS THIS FRUIT?

Well Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that it is: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONGSUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF-CONTROL.

These 9 virtues REPLACE DEPRESSION!

3. LIVING IN THE WORD OF GOD:

Make it a daily practice to read and study the Bible each and every day. By living in the Word of God we are constantly reminded of GOD’S viewpoint, of His Plan, of His provision, of His awareness of our spirit of heaviness; and we are reminded of what He wants to accomplish in us with the tests or trials that we are going through.

A Christian’s response to the Word of God are:

READ IT Deuteronomy. 31:11; Isaiah. 34:16; Luke. 4:16; Ephesians. 3:4; Colossians. 3:16; 4:1; 1 Thessalonians. 5:27; 2 Timothy . 4:13; Revelation 1:3.

HEED IT Psalm 119:9; 1 Timothy. 4:16.

SEED IT Matthew. 28:19, 20.

DESIRE IT 1 Peter. 2:2.

PREACH IT 2 Timothy 4:2

RIGHTLY DIVIDE IT 2 Timothy. 2:15.

LIVE BY IT Matthew. 4:4

USE IT Ephesians. 6:17.

SUFFER FOR IT, AND IF NEED BE, DIE FOR IT Revelation 1:9; 6:9; 20:4.

THE CHILD OF GOD :

KNOW IT in his HEAD

STOW IT in his HEART

SHOW IT in his LIFE

SOW IT in the WORLD:

Deuteronomy 4:1-10; 12:32; Joshua 1:8; Psalm 33:6; Proverbs 30:5, 6; Mark 4:24; Luke 8:12; John 12:48-50; Romans 8:7; 1 Corinthians 2:14; Hebrews 1:1-3; 2:1-4; Revelation 1:1-3; 20:12; 22:18; 19.

Living only in the sphere of human, secular viewpoint is a powerful source of depression. Remember King Solomon’s experience?

4. APPLY THE PRINCIPLES OF GRACE:

Depression is often caused by PEOPLE, and most of the time by people we cannot escape, or people we love, or people we cannot confront, or people we trust.

By applying the principles of grace we will develop the ability to look at people and see them as GOD sees them. This includes the ability to let them live their lives as unto the Lord, and trusting God to make His way clear to them. This technique lets people make mistakes without us judging them.

5. FOCUS ON THE LORD JESUS CHRIST:

When we focus on Jesus Christ it helps to cure depression because it gets our eyes off our spouse, our children, our neighbors, our friends, ourselves and our problems. Instead, as we move through the day, we are thinking about the Lord Jesus Christ, His plan for our life, the Father’s provision for each incident in our life, and His provision of wisdom for each decision we must make.

Depression is a by-product of being solely occupied with ourselves, with our lives, and with our own problems.

6. TRUSTING AND APPLYING THE PROMISES OF GOD

When we trust and use the promises of God we then enter into the "REST" phase of Christian living. We need to have a good grasp of just who God is so that we will not hesitate to believe that He can do what He has promised to do.

We know Him as He reveals Himself in the Bible.

We believe Him when He tells us what He will do for us.

This builds trust in Him!! He will never let us down!! Let our faith REST on it.

CAST our burden on the Lord because He really does care for us!!

7. RELAX – TAKE IT EASY – LET GOD DO HIS WORK.

A relaxed attitude is based on knowing God personally and intimately as His special child that we are. A relaxed attitude is one of the results of living in the Word of God, walking in fellowship with Him, trusting in and using Hi

s promises to us, and being focused on Jesus Christ.

All of the components of depression will MELT away and dissolve when we finally come to realize that our Heavenly Father has everything in hand and He doesn’t need us to help Him. This omnipotent God who has sent His Son to die for us and who bottles our tears and numbers the very hairs on our heads, loves and cares for us more than we can ever possibly imagine!!

If you are a Christian, YOU are His personal gift to His Son, who categorically stated that no one can ever snatch you out of His Father’s hand, nor out of His!! (John 10:27-29) 27. "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28. "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29. "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand”.

We are personally being trained and groomed by God Himself to rule this entire universe with Jesus Christ, the King of kings and Lord of lords. God already sees us seated in heavenly places perfectly sanctified and glorified. But to have the glory, we must also have some suffering for a little while on this earth. This is part of our training and is spiritual development in maturity.

But God wants His child to learn how to handle the suffering and the trials WITHOUT DEPRESSION. – Without falling apart – without feeling sorry for ourselves – without blaming everything, everyone and including GOD!!

God wants us to grow toward spiritual maturity, – His goal is to progressively transform us into the glorious image of the LORD JESUS CHRIST!! – And trials, testing, tribulations, traumas and everyday problems are PART AND PARCEL OF THAT PACKAGE SOMETIMES!!

Look to the Lord for every detail in life personally. Our Joy should NOT depend on people, circumstances or things. True joy is found when we trust and obey God. We can have the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding. Like the apostle Paul, we all need to learn to be content under any circumstances.

8. STRIVE FOR INNER JOY IN YOUR LIFE:

Inner joy is not possible for the Christian who is occupied solely with himself and his own needs. It is also not possible for the person who occupies himself solely with his own problems, his own circumstances and his own efforts.

Inner joy is a state of joy based on knowing that God is everything He claims to be and that He can do ALL that He has promised.

Inner joy is the living with every provision for physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, and therefore made by God in the life of a Christian who is walking in daily fellowship with Him. This inner Joy!! It is truly worth it and it is the antidote to depression, misery and feelings of helplessness and despair!!

For the Christian, depression usually marks lost faith in the One with whom I have entrusted my future destiny. It dishonors the One who floods my life with endless love and manipulates for good everything that touches me.

Jesus Christ is the answer to all the broken dreams, the collapsed hopes of our lives, the pressures that we feel from day to day, the sense of our failure and the inability to perform as we would like to perform.

Jesus Christ is alive and He is ready to meet us in the hour of death, but more than that, he is ready to meet us in the pressures of life.

He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

The Christian life is all about dying to our own selfish interests and allowing Jesus Christ to live His life in and through us. It about being less independent and less self-reliant, and instead, depending on CHRIST and finding our sufficiency in His all sufficiency.

It’s very much about focus, too. Not on other people; not on things; not on circumstances; not on ourselves; – focus on these things will only make us miserable, depressed and wretched. (Isn’t this how most people get depressed?)

Our focus and key interest should be on the Living Word, the Lord Jesus Christ and on the written Word of God, the Bible.

These eight proven Biblical techniques are your guaranteed way out of depression and on to the road to a healthy recovery. They are also a sure fire method in avoiding depression taking hold of you in the first place.

Knowing God Personally

Knowing God Personally

Download Knowing God Personally MP3

 

 

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Download PDF version

 

     

 

 

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What does it take to begin a relationship with God?

Wait for lightning to strike? Devote yourself to unselfish religious deeds? Become a better person so that God will accept you? NONE of these. God has made it very clear in the Bible how we can know Him. This will explain how you can personally begin a relationship with God, right now…

 

Principle One: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

God created you. Not only that, he loves you so much that he wants you to know him now and spend eternity with him. Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."1

 

Jesus came so that each of us could know and understand God in a personal way. Jesus alone can bring meaning and purpose to life.

 

What keeps us from knowing God? …

 

Principle Two: All of us sin and our sin has separated us from God.

 

We sense that separation, that distance from God because of our sin. The Bible tells us that "All of us like sheep have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way."2

 

Deep down, our attitude may be one of active rebellion or passive indifference toward God and his ways, but it’s all evidence of what the Bible calls sin.

 

The result of sin in our lives is death — spiritual separation from God.3Although we may try to get close to God through our own effort, we inevitably fail.

 

This diagram shows the great gap that exists between us and God. The arrows illustrate how we might try to reach God through our own efforts. We may try to do good things in life, or earn God’s acceptance through a good life or a moral philosophy. But our good efforts are insufficient to cover up our sin.

 

How can we bridge this gulf?…

 

Principle Three: Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for our sin. Through him we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our life.

 

We deserve to pay for our own sin. The problem is, the payment is death. So that we would not have to die separated from God, out of his love for us, Jesus Christ died in our place. On the cross, Jesus took all of our sin on himself and completely, fully paid for it. "For Christ also died for sins…the just for the unjust, so that he might bring us to God."4"…he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy."5 Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, our sin doesn’t have to separate us from God any longer.

 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."6

 

Jesus not only died for our sin, he rose from the dead.7 When he did, he proved beyond doubt that he can rightfully promise eternal life — that he is the Son of God and the only means by which we can know God. That is why Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one can come to the Father except through me."8

 

Instead of trying harder to reach God, he tells us how we can begin a relationship with him right now. Jesus says, "Come to me." "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me… out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."9 It was Jesus’ love for us that caused him to endure the cross. And he now invites us to come to him, that we might begin a personal relationship with God.

 

Just knowing what Jesus has done for us and what he is offering us is not enough. To have a relationship with God, we need to welcome him into our life…

 

Principle Four: We must individually accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.

 

The Bible says, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."10

 

We accept Jesus by faith. The Bible says, "God saved you by his special favour when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."11

 

Accepting Jesus means believing that Jesus is the Son of God, who he claimed to be, then inviting him to guide and direct our lives.12 Jesus said, "I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly."13

 

And here is Jesus’ invitation. He said, "I’m standing at the door and I’m knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in."14

 

How will you respond to God’s invitation?

 

Consider these two circles:

 

Self-Directed Life

 

Self is on the throne

Jesus is outside the life

Decisions and actions are solely directed by self, often resulting in frustration

 

Christ-Directed Life

 

Jesus is in the life and on the throne

Self is yielding to Jesus

The person sees Jesus’ influence and direction in their life

 

Which circle best represents your life?

 

Which circle would you like to have represent your life?

 

Begin a relationship with Jesus…

 

You can receive Christ right now. Remember that Jesus says, "I’m standing at the door and I’m knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in."15 Would you like to respond to his invitation? Here’s how.

 

The precise words you use to commit yourself to God are not important. He knows the intentions of your heart. If you are unsure of what to pray, this might help you put it into words:

 

"Jesus, I want to know you. I want you to come into my life. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be fully accepted by you. Only you can give me the power to change and become the person you created me to be. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me eternal life with God. I give my life to you. Please do with it as you wish. Amen."

 

If you sincerely asked Jesus into your life just now, then he has come into your life as he promised. You have begun a personal relationship with God.

 

What follows is a lifelong journey of change and growth as you get to know God better through Bible reading, prayer and interaction with other Christians.

 

I just asked Jesus into my life (some helpful information follows)…

I may want to ask Jesus into my life, but I have a question

I would like answered first…

(1) John 3:16

(2) Isaiah 53:6

(3) Romans 6:23

(4) 1 Peter 3:18

(5) Titus 3:5

(6) John 3:16

(7) 1 Corinthians 15:3-6

(8) John 14:6

(9) John 7:37,38

(10) John 1:12

(11) Ephesians 2:8,9

(12) John 3:1-8

(13) John 10:10

(14) Revelation 3:20

(15) Revelation 3:20

four spiritual laws

The Christian Counselor and Christian Therapist

people01 christianfish


The counselor must have knowledge of the dark side of life in order to diagnose sin.

This means a working knowledge of the definition of sin. Moreover, be comfortable about passing that knowledge onto a counselee.

You are Christ’s ambassador when you enter into counseling.

1) Be compassionate – You must love the counselee enough to present him with God’s truth regardless of what truth may suggest for him. Example the rich young ruler (Mark 10:21). Do not force the solution on the counselee for he has a freedom of choice. Just like the rich young ruler, he was given the freedom of choice. He can reject or accept god’s solution to his problem.

2) Listen to the problem – You are a specialist in spiritual problems being more concerned in the counselees’ current problem instead of probing into the past. Listening is an art. You have the same confidence in the message of God as the surgeon has in the benefits of an operation.

3) Point the counselee to a solution – Do not jump into a solution hurriedly before you are sure of exact nature of the problem. Many people first talk of a “surface problem before they talk about their real problem. The word firm is important to know and not the word stern. When you are firm, you can be compassionate, but when stern you are striving in force. Give the person a solution from the word of God in a category.

The apostle Paul wrote the believers in Thessalonica to “warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). The term-translated therapy indicates service rendered to people in times of turmoil. In its historic context, therapy (or counseling) is the attentive, careful helping of others.

The history of the word “therapy,” the Greek therapeia, with its derivatives therapon, therapeuo, and therapontos, gives birth to some illuminating meanings for the current practice of Christian counseling. Therapeia means, “Service.” The therapon is the servant who renders careful, experienced, watchful, meticulous, skilled, obedient, painstaking service to the one to whom he is intimately responsible.”

Notably the closest Greek synonym for therapon is diakonos, which also means “servant.” We can glean from the resemblance of the therapist and minister. In fact, in the ancient world, therapeia was commonly translated into Latin as ministerium. Among the Greek words signifying “servant” (therapon, diakonos, oiketes, pais, doulos), the most intimate of these is therapon, which always refers to personal, considerate, and confidential act of service.

The word “psychotherapy” may sound like a purely modern term, but its roots are ancient. The New Testament example of the therapon is Jesus Christ, the message and means of God’s intimate, healing, restoring service to all people (Matt. 9:1-8; Mark 1:32-34; Luke 4:18; et al). God Himself is the therapon, according to the kerygma, which means “proclamation.” The therapeia, which He renders, is the reflection of God’s redemptive love, portrayed in the banishment of demonic powers, and was made clear in the occurrences of the last days of Jesus’ earthly ministry.

The issue of the lawfulness of rendering therapeia on the Sabbath became a volatile point in the ministry of Jesus (Matt. 12:1-14; Mark 3:1-6; Luke 6:1-11; et al). The religious culture of the time of Jesus’ ministry did not want to see any therapeia on the Sabbath, but instead, they held to their own rigid interpretation of the Law regardless of the damaging consequences to those they were responsible to serve. Jesus, however, offered therapeia on the Sabbath as a sign of the emerging reign of God, thus intruding on the holy day with His ministry to sick bodies and tormented souls.

Many passages of Scripture depict Jesus’ interwoven ministry of teaching, preaching and healing. His life and ministry validated Isaiah’s prophecies of the Messiah as the Servant who comforted the anxious, encouraged the depressed, reconciled the hostile, and healed the lame and blind. The three-fold ministry of teaching, preaching, and healing, remains a concise summary of the purpose and mission of the church.

The authority of Scripture and the role of psychology are important to anyone interested in Christian counseling. Some people use the term integration to refer to the relationship of the Scriptures and psychology, but this term can be misleading. The Bible and psychology are not two equals blended together. The Word of God is the ultimate authority by which all theories and practices are measured.

Psychology is man’s attempt to analyze the human condition and provide assistance. Most psychological theories contain some valid observations of human behavior, but they are usually based upon erroneous presuppositions about both man and God. Secular theories and practices, however, cannot provide the ultimate source of healing power: the love and strength of Jesus Christ. He is our Creator and Savior. He is the one who can touch our deepest needs and bring light and life. God reveals the nature of man as well as His own nature.

The Christian counselor’s goal, however, extends farther to include helping the client love God with all his heart and to live by biblical values. In accomplishing this goal, the Christian counselor may present the gospel to someone who is not a believer or is unsure of his faith. He encourages the person to confess his sin and experience forgiveness, and also, to extend forgiveness to others. He helps the person understand proper behaviors and to take substantive steps to act appropriately and responsibly. The Christian, has transcendent values to motivate and guide, as Paul wrote, “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

As a servant of Jesus Christ, called to love and to strengthen others out of a full heart, the Christian counselor has limitless resources as he or she experiences the wisdom of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The counselor, just like the client, is in the process of growing in the knowledge of God and is being watered, pruned, and shaped by the Spirit’s work. This process makes the counselor increasingly effective and competent to counsel.

After, Careful stu

dy, selection, and orderly combination of compatible concepts from a variety of sources, based on the principle that “all truth is God’s truth.” People seem to yearn for a clear, simple answer to life’s complexities. Many people view psychological problems through a simplistic lens and desire one definable set of problems and solutions. These simple answers, however, seldom stand the test of scrutiny. Some religious people follow the “sin model”; some in the recovery community follow the “medical model”; and others follow the “GRACE Model.”

The Different therapy models:

The Sin Model –

Reduce all the problems of human interaction, personality, and physical functioning to sin. In this paradigm, sin accounts for emotional distress, addictions, and other behavioral difficulties, and idolatry is the fundamental problem of mankind. Predictably, repentance is seen as the single solution to this problem. Individuals are responsible for both the problem and the solution.

The Sickness Model – The idea that emotional problems originate from natural causes was popularized in the early years of the Alcoholics Anonymous movement. Dr. Silkworth introduced the disease concept of alcoholism to Bill Wilson, one of the founders of AA. Later, the disease concept was applied to drug abuse, and still later, to codependency. In this model, the person is not responsible for the perceived medical problem, just as he is not responsible for contracting the flu.

Indeed, many behavioral and emotional problems are related to specific chemical deficiencies, and medical treatment is a vital part of care. The model is taken too far, however, when it is applied indiscriminately to any emotional problem. For instance, it can be argued that alcoholism addiction has a physiological component, but codependency does not include any identifiable, external substance.

The GRACE Model – The psalmist proclaims that man is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14-15). We are made in the image of God, but we are deeply fallen. Individuals are Personally responsible for acting out in their fallen nature and the only solution is death through the cross by the wonderful grace of God which teaches us to deny all ungodliness. The solution is the Grace of God, not by our own work or behavior modification can we fix our selves or our own problems.

We are deeply fallen, which includes physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, and social aspects of our being. Virtually every problem we have is multifaceted;  practically treated with a multi-modal approach, and finally its solution is only one the cross. This message is not a popular one and neither spoken about in many contexts of treatment of sin because honestly sin can not be treated, war must be waged against it, and not the devil alone. The war against sin can only bring sin to the work of the Cross that sin was nailed to over 2000 years ago, agree with God that its power has no more authority over me and mentally change my mind about the sin that I was in love with personally in idolatry,I now HATE like God HATES. This change of mind internally will cause a radical inward transfiguration that will result in outward transformation..

For instance, an addict has chosen coping mechanisms outside the will of God to block pain and to gain a sense of value or control. There are usually factors outside his control, and therefore, outside his responsibility, such as childhood trauma, poor parental modeling, cultural reinforcement, and biochemical deficiencies. The biochemical dependencies may require detoxification. Effects of depression may require medication to enable the person to think clearly and make wise choices. New communication skills need to be learned, and new courage needs to be acquired in order to follow through with the communication and the skills. Repentance is right and appropriate in particular points of responsibility, but we do not repent of the wounds received from others or of biological factors outside our control.

Though the symptoms and the contributing causes of a person’s problems are multifaceted, the root cause of all human problems is our fallenness, manifested in apathy toward God, rebellion, and a desire to keep control of our own lives whatever the cost. All of our relational, behavioral, and emotional difficulties spring from this underlying condition. Physiological and psychological analysis certainly has validity to enable us to understand the dynamics and destructive powers in our lives, and also, to help us gain insight into channeling our motives and energies into constructive attitudes and behaviors. At the deepest level, however, the sin problem exists and must be addressed so that people can be rightly related to the God who created them and loves them, and so they can draw on His strength and wisdom to live more healthy lives.

The complexities of the human experience demand that counselors carefully take a complete history on each person. Past and current emotional traumas, environmental and family difficulties, physical problems, behavioral manifestations need to be considered in order to make an accurate assessment. The goal is that the person will feel better, but also take steps toward knowing, loving, and following Christ. For Christians, recovery is inherently a part of the process of sanctification, including foundational spiritual issues of our identity, repentance, and our motivations. Bible-based teaching, prayer, meditation and other Christian disciplines must be used knowledgeably. Quite often, spiritual behaviors are held most tightly, perhaps because they falsely represent God and ultimate authority and safety. Giving them up is both difficult and confusing to many people. We need to show the negative effects of trying to find ultimate meaning and safety in these activities, and also, we need to present the Lord, Himself, and the attractiveness of a vital relationship with Him.

 

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

BUILDING AN EFFECTIVE YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY

youth_looking_up

 

BUILDING AN EFFECTIVE

YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY

Discussion geared toward young adults, age 18 to 28.
Haven’t been to church in a while?
Looking for a new church home?
Looking for a vibrant, non-judgmental, and sacred space to explore what kind of person the spirit is calling you to be?
To build an effective young adult ministry, you need to dedicated to create an environment for people attending college and others in their 20’s and 30’s to encounter, explore, and enjoy spirituality in day-to-day living. Building a community of young people while knowing their lives are in transition daily is vital to success. Understanding that they are who are gaining new perspectives, focusing on true priorities, and experiencing God’s grace, love, and peace in real life situations.
They key to having an accepting environment is not to give into the young adult’s desire of tolerance. I believe that tolerance is an erosion of Godly acceptance. Providing a non-judgmental fellowship open to all college and young adults who are journeying along in this world who are not Christians and or are Christians Open to all means open to all. Not open to only those who conform to our image of what or who a Christian looks like. In a world full of stress and anxiety, this spiritual support group is an excellent way to take a break from demanding, everyday schedules and form new friendships in the process.
To serve young adults doesn’t come from a desire to help a particular age group, but rather to reach people experiencing the transient nature inherent in this stage of life: finishing school, starting a career, living out your faith, going to grad school, dating, questioning what you believe, breaking up, relocating, living on your own, hating your job, moving back in with your parents, getting engaged, getting married, changing careers, wondering why you got married, going back to school, having kids, not being able to have kids . . . and this is all in the first few years of living in the "real world."
In the midst of all of the turbulence and transition, we believe that Jesus offers something that doesn’t change. Teaching his disciples about how to ensure survival in the midst of such circumstances, he told them a story of two general contractors who had just acquired some prime riverfront property. One of them, the not-so-smart one, built his house on top of a sandbar-which was fine when the river wasn’t at flood stage. The other one, the wiser craftsman, secured his house to the bedrock.
The difference in the two builders wasn’t their experiences: both were being hit by a terrible storm, with torrential rain, gale-force winds, and flash flooding. But one survived those circumstances because his house was built on something solid. The other one saw his life’s work vanish in the raging flood. The "solid rock" Jesus tells us, is hearing and doing the things that he teaches: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." (Matthew 7:24)
Did you know that for the first time in the history, the majority of young adults in America are second-generation un-churched? Most of those entering college and the workforce today grew up in homes where not even their parents attended church.

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Performance Based Religious Works

Performance Based Religious Works

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

As we begin to express the life of Christ in our lives, we need to be aware of another set of Satan’s deceptions, namely, the religious spirit.

The religious spirit can best be defined as an agent of Satan assigned to prevent change and maintain the status quo by using religious devices and our performance. The religious spirit seeks to distort a genuine move of God’s Grace through deception, control, and manipulation. This spirit operates out of the old sin nature the Flesh (which operates in relatively righteousness), old religious structures, and attempts to maintain the status quo, favoring tradition over a genuine, intimate relationship with God. It influences believers to live the Christian life based on works instead of grace. Similar to the Greek way of thinking, the religious spirit depends on performance based human effort to acquire spiritual knowledge and favor from God.

The religious spirit attempts to nullify the importance of faith and grace that has been given to us through the work of the Cross. IF we could perform and through our own work make ourselves good to please God, Why would there be a need for the person of Christ to die on the Cross? IF works can save us why has mankind never been able to pay their own sin debt? If religion and ritual can save; why can man nor woman not keep God’s commandments? Obviously, You cannot gain acceptance from God by doing any works. Accept His unconditional love for you today.

The religious spirit breeds fear and intimidation. To those who are not religious, religion breeds rebellion. Our automatic tendency when someone says, “you have to…” is to say, “I don’t have to do anything, man. Forget that!” We are just as wrong as they, because of our attitude. We are responsible to react with character and integrity to a person bound by the religious spirit. When it looked like Jesus was dealing harsh with man who was religious, He was really dealing with the spirit behind religion. Ephesians 6 says that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. That is why Jesus, when placed on the cross by religious people, asked the Father to forgive them. He said they didn’t know what they were doing.

We need to realize that we do not wrestle with men, churches or ministries. We need to reach those that have not yet come into the river of Grace. We are not better than them. We are just free. We should never use our freedom to cause unnecessary offences. I love to dance before the Lord in worship. But if I go into a church and the pastor asks for people to not dance, I will not. If I do, then it is not freedom but rebellion.

John 8:31-37

They sought to kill Jesus because they were bound by the religious spirit, and they were working under the power of the devil. But Jesus realized that they were in bondage. That is why He said to them, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” Most people who are in this type of bondage do not know that they need to be set free. We should pray that may see, so that they might be set free. Jesus knew, when the Sadducees came, that they were looking to trap Him and ultimately slay Him. But He, realizing that they were bound by the religious spirit, tried to reach them by bringing them into truth. He could have gotten an attitude with them and even exposed them and their motive publicly.

Matthew 22:23-32

Passion vs. Obligation and Duty

Much of what we do as Christians begins with fiery passion and a motivation from the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it becomes and obligation and a duty that we perform because we know it is what we are “supposed” to do.

Religion seems to keep or seek to control. We like religion because it tells us what to do externally and when we do it; our conscience feels a whole lot better. It is nothing more than humanistic behavior modification .This takes the place of inner peace that comes from being in right relationship with God. With this religious mindset we feel like we are right with God, and yet it is the complete opposite of how Jesus walked and taught. Though some of us are not as steeped in tradition like many religions, we still have rituals of our own that we do to make us feel better. And through this process it loses the passion and becomes obligation.

The religious spirit likes to keep us from the things of the spirit. Under its influence, many times we become so law-focused, or doctrinally obsessed, that we lose the passion for power and anything that involves feelings. We also can easily walk in law instead of love. When we become more determined to punish someone for not following the letter of the law than to love them and see human need, it might be a good sign that we are operating under the influence of this religious spirit. Many times when we are giving ourselves over to this judgmental heart, we ourselves are doing the same or worse things.

The religious spirit likes to get a person stuck on one particular passage of scripture. They will war over that teaching, even at the sake of losing the character of Jesus, getting angry and raising their voice to argue the point. Even

if what the person is saying is real truth, because they get out of the character of Christ, the words are no longer spirit and life. The religious spirit loves to get a person stuck on doctrine. The religious spirit gets people into doctrinal error, actually. Remember the Sadducees who were controlled by the religious spirit? They were determined and obsessed that there was no resurrection. They were not open to anyone showing them differently from scripture. Their outward appearance when they came to Jesus tried to look teachable, when all along their motive was to get Jesus to speak what they considered blasphemous so that they could get Him in a trap.

Matthew 12:1-8

The religious spirit has a voice. It speaks in this way, “You have to get up early in the morning and pray; You have to tithe; You have to bless your meal each time you eat, before you eat; You have to have a good outward appearance; You have to be at every prayer meeting, go to every church function or service.” These are all things that I do, have to do, should have done, must do, could have done would have done, or even have done. The religious spirit is outward counterfeit of performance the opposite of Grace taught and lived obedience which is birthed internally.

The Holy Spirit which convinces us in our mind internally, with our new birth, our mind changes to the Mind of Christ. The believer’s new integrated mind with Christ’s Mind, through Grace Births an attitude change internally and then externally our will follows with true obedience. However, I don’t want to do anything because I feel I have to. We do so many things out of obligation and duty. It is called pretense or hypocrisy when we draw near to God with our lips, but our heart is far from Him. There is nothing wrong with doing the outward things. Many of them were commanded in the Old Testament. But none of them were commanded with the intention that obedience would take place based on duty and not passion and thankfulness of heart that God gave man a way to be forgiven.

Matthew 12:9-13

Nothing is more damaging than a religious spirit binding a life. By placing rules and expectations on people, unbelievers or new believers, it cuts them off from wanting anything to do with God. Many times we are worried about what we are going to look like than the value of a person’s soul. How quick we are to come against people’s outward sins and forget about our own inward darkness. If we value the heart of God toward His people rather than our own judgmental opinions, we will seek to guide with a gentle heart those who are bound by religion into truth.

This website below, I highly recommend.

http://www.ptm.org/legalism/legalismConfessions.htm

Take the quiz!

Could you be a legalist?—

http://www.ptm.org/legalism/legalismQuiz.htm

Book Recommendations :

More Jesus, Less Religion: Moving from Rules to Relationship (Paperback)
by Stephen Arterburn (Author), Jack Felton (Author)

http://www.amazon.com/More-Jesus-Less-Religion-Relationship/dp/1578562503

Grace Plus Nothing (Paperback)

by Jeff Harkin (Author)

http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Plus-Nothing-Jeff-Harkin/dp/0842311440/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1206974753&sr=1-1

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
Call Toll Free 1-877-702-2GOD
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

Shifting Approaches to Young Adult Evangelism

Shifting Approaches to
Young Adult Evangelism

Modern Church

  • …Evangelism is an event you invite people to.
  • …is primarily concerned with getting people into heaven.

Post-modern Church

  • …Evangelism is a process that occurs through relationship, trust & example
  • …is concerned with people’s experiencing the reality of living under the reign of His Kingdom.

Modern Church

  • …is focused on pre-Christians
  • …is done by evangelists
  • .…is something you do in addition to discipleship.

Post-modern Church

  • …is focused on post-Christians.
  • …is done by disciples.
  • …is part of being a disciple

Modern Church

  • …is a message.
  • …uses reason and proof for apologetics.
  • …Mission’s is a department of the church.

Post-modern Church

  • …is a conversation.
  • …uses the church as the primary apologetic.
  • …the church is a mission

Some ideas worth considering:

  • Evangelism offers an invitation into the Kingdom, instead of a way to get to heaven.
  • Evangelism is less of an invitation to an event, and more of an invitation to enter into community.
  • Evangelism is more dialogue and listening, than preaching and telling.
  • Evangelism

    is part of discipleship and church culture, rather than something you do on the side.

  • Evangelism is “discipleship-evangelism,” rather than entertainment-based.
  • Evangelism may take a lot more time and trust today.

Questions Worth Considering

  1. What are some specific ways you and your church could build the trust of non-Christians through dialogue and community?
  2. Are you up for it?

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
1-877-702-2GOD

Testosteroneless Church – BOOK REVIEW – Why Men Hate going to Church?

 men

 

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlhMoTnkpwk]
YouTube – Church For Men on Fox News Network

Church For Men on Fox News Network

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I highly recommend this book and the book list on the site "Church for men" it has great insight to the state of the western church. The statistics are shocking. The statistics,will cause us to rethink intentional ministry and reaching this next generation.  This is a book review and I highly recommendation this book for women and men to read. The statistics are so true and reveal that we grow men in the church who are forged to not have real God given purpose and direction. The majority of young men who grow up in the western evangelical church, before the important years of young adulthood, the years of life transition, are asking the same questions. These young men have grown up in church for the majority, attending Christian schools, teen ministry, and numerous church services in their already lives. Their masculinity is somewhat stunted by female dominated church and homes. Why have all the teaching and all of the personal discipleship not made an indelible mark in the majority lives? What is happening in the Christian homes with Fatherhood, Teen ministries, and all of the Christian education programs? Are our efforts counterproductive, working to give young man a road map out of the church with negative stimulus. What are the aversions for these young men?( The aversion  is the avoidance of a place, people, thing, situation, or behavior because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus.) Young adults are already leaving the church after their eighteenth birthdays, and a majority never return even in adulthood. Is the testosteroneless church to blame for the staggering loss of these young men and young male adults? Can we reform quick enough our methods, vocabulary, sermons, and church atmosphere before church is extinct?  I believe we can if we are intentional and focused.

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

YOUNG ADULT CRISIS HOTLINE

                              ____________________________

Why Men Hate Going to Church

By David Murrow

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Hate-Going-Church/dp/0785260382

http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/ChurchAndMinistry/menhatingchurch.aspx

http://www.faithfulreader.com/authors/au-murrow-david.asp

The Church Impotent

The Feminization of Christianity

While men still run most churches, women outnumber them in the pews in Europe, in the Americas, and in Australia. The absence of males is not of recent genesis. Cotton Mather, a 17th century Puritan minister puzzled over it, and medieval preachers claimed women practice their religion far more than men did. But men do not show the same aversion to all churches and religions. The aversion  is the avoidance of a place, people, thing, situation, or behavior because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus.

The Orthodox church  seem to have a balance, and Islam and Judaism have a predominantly male membership. Something seems to be creating a barrier between Western Christianity and men. Why is it that men in the west are so little interested in religion and that the men who are interested often do not follow the general pattern of masculinity? Why doesn’t religion seem to interest men much, until they reach old age?

No discussion of Christian singles is complete without addressing the lack of men in church. The Church Life Survey (below)[1] notes that men make up only 39% of the church congregation and “…in every denomination, in every age grouping, women outnumber men.” This should be a serious concern to all Christians, both men and women alike as large numbers of men are missing out on salvation.

In his book, Why Men Hate Going to Church, David Murrow warns that Islam is growing in popularity amongst men. “Since 1950 the number of Christians in the world has doubled, however, the number of Muslims has more than tripled.” He gives an example of Suleiman Azia who left his Baptist church and turned to Islam. Why? Because his church was mostly atten

ded by women and he “…found a stronger ideal of brotherhood and moral discipline-and of manhood.” (p. 48)

David Murrow states that unlike today’s churches, Jesus did not focus His ministry on women or children; He put men first. In addition, David says that “…while Christian values tend to be perceived as feminine, they must be lived out in an aggressive, masculine fashion.” (p. 44). He believes that we must “…lift the veil of religion and call men to battle.” But first, the Christian church must “…recover its ancient, masculine voice.” (p. 49).

David Murrow comments that “…in the Bible, fathers lead their children to God, not the other way around.” Dave quotes statistics which indicate that when a father comes to faith in Christ, the family follows 93% of the time. However, when the mother comes to Christ, the family follows only 17% of the time (p.47).

David Murrow offers a host of explanations for low attendance of men at church and a plethora of solutions and suggestions for improvements. David suggests that most men like to look up to and follow other men.  They are attracted to churches with a strong dynamic leadership team which engages in risk-taking and results in productivity and growth. 

He says that “…men are interested in God but uninterested in Christianity as it is currently practiced” (p.65). Further, the church emphasises Christ’s feminine characteristics by using feminine themes, imagery and vocabulary but ignores Christ’s masculine characteristics.

Dave Murrow also suggests that pastors review the terminology used in church today. He illustrates how the language used in churches has become increasingly feminine. We are no longer sons of God but children of God, Jesus called many to follow Him, but being saved is something that happens to damsels in distress, asking men to share sounds like kindergarten, Jesus spoke about the kingdom of God whereas churches talk about a family of God, the term relationship was never mentioned in the Bible, and yet it is used heavily in church today with men being invited to have a personal relationship with Jesus. When expressions such as intimacy or passionate are used in the Bible, they refer to lust or sex. However, today these expressions are often used to describe our walk with Jesus. David points out that we should use words such as walk with Jesus, follow Jesus and build the kingdom of God as they imply action and may be more palatable to men than more feminine terms (p. 136-137).

Dave Murrow suggests that music has also become more feminine; that “…Christ has put down His sword and picked up a daisy. He is no longer a warrior; He is a lover. The very image of Christ taking up arms (as He does in Revelation 19) is simply unacceptable in most churches today.” (p. 139)

He says that many of the lyrics of contemporary Christian songs have become tender love songs to Jesus with expressions such as ‘…I am so in love with you, I’m desperate for you, I’m lost without you and so on’ (p. 139) and that such words are repugnant to many men. In addition, David notes that the tempo has changed and contemporary music is now slower and dreamier (p.187) adding to the romantic feel of many new Christian songs. 

David notes that churches that use masculine imagery in their teachings not only increase the numbers of men; they also increase the numbers of women. For example, in one class, a teacher did not change her content, however, she used expressions such as influence, belonging to a team, purpose, character, courage, discipline, power and perseverance. Attendance at her first session was 60% women. But by the third session it was 60% men plus the class doubled in size! (p.182).

However, Why Men Hate Going to Church is not a book merely to be read and discussed during home group or over a cup of coffee; it is intended as an impetus for action. We’re meant to do it, not just talk about it.

David Murrow presents a well researched and convincing argument as to why churches fail to attract and retain men. He also offers a plethora of practical and achievable solutions to make church a meaningful and challenging place for men.

Why Men Hate Going to Church gives both men and women the tools to approach their church leaders, armed with suggestions and an action plan to instigate change in their own church. Likewise, David Murrow highlights ways in which men can become actively involved by using their masculine skills, attributes and leadership qualities in an area where they are greatly needed.

Why Men Hate Going to Church is a really excellent book and should be mandatory reading for all who are serious about salvation and furthering the Kingdom of Christ. 

[1] National Church Life Survey (NCLS) Research Gender profile of church attendees.

http://www.ncls.org.au/default.aspx?sitemapid=137

GENDER PROFILE OF CHURCH ATTENDEES

NCLS Research > Who Goes to Church > Attender Demographics > Gender

Just as younger people are under-represented in the life of the churches, so too are men. Only 39% of attenders are male.

The gender imbalance can partly be attributed to the fact that some churches have an older age profile and women on average live longer than men. However, although differing life expectancies do play a part, they are not the only reason for the gender skew. In every denomination, in every age grouping, women outnumber men.

The gender imbalance among church attenders is a long-standing issue, and many theories have been developed in an attempt to explain it. These theories, which warrant ongoing testing, are summarized in Who Goes Where? (Kaldor, 1987, 112–116) and include the following:

 

  • Differences in the ways boys a

    nd girls are socialized affect their church involvement. This theory suggests that boys are taught independence and self-reliance, while girls are taught interdependence, obedience and responsibility for others. Consequently, girls are more predisposed to a church involvement which features such behavior.

  • Australian men are more likely to reject authority structures such as the church. They prefer more egalitarian forms of relationship with others, based around the concept of ‘mateship’.

  • Men are more emotionally inhibited than women. Consequently, this theory would suggest that men are daunted by structures in church life which promote intimacy (eg small groups).

  • Women are more likely to seek to instill moral values in their children as part of their role as child-rearers. Women not only look to the church to provide religious education for their children but also attend church in order to be good role models.

  • Women get social status in church that is denied elsewhere. Some social theorists argue that men and women without power or status in the community are more likely to turn to religion as a form of compensation.

  • Men are more likely to be in full-time work and to get their self-esteem from work. Work provides an alternative sense of purpose, community, identity and interests.

It has been shown that in Australia women engaged in full-time work have the same low church attendance levels as men in full-time work (De Vaus, 1985). This means that as increasing numbers of women participate full-time in the workforce, they could be expected to have reduced levels of church involvement. Therefore, if churches are to address the gender imbalances, they must seek to understand the workplace and find ways to connect with people in it.

Source: Initial Impressions, 2001 NCLS and Taking Stock, 1999

 

                 Book List

http://www.churchformen.com/booklist.php

    Best books that explain why men dislike and/or avoid church

Muscular Christianity

By Clifford Putney

The battle to restore manliness to the church has been fought — and won — before. Read this fascinating account of the movement that brought men back to church in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Could their methods work for us today?

The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity

by Leon J. Podles

Written by a Roman Catholic, this exhaustive history traces the feminization of the church back to medieval times. A must read for anyone who wants to understand how Christianity lost its masculine spirit.

Best books for women who are married to unchurched men

When He Doesn’t Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith

By Nancy Kennedy

I’ve read all the books in this genre, and this is the pick of the litter. It is well written and hilarious in places, even to a male reader like me. Nancy is funny, encouraging and very insightful. Women – read this book!

Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage

By Lee and Leslie Strobel

The prolific former journalist and Saddleback pastor teamed up with his wife to write this book. Strobel’s entry into this market is heavy on personal anecdotes and advice. Like all of his books this one is well written.

Unbelieving Husbands and the Wives Who Love Them

By Michael Fanstone

Written by a British evangelical pastor, Fanstone knows of what he speaks: the gender gap in the British church is enormous. As a man, Fanstone is able to take us into the mind of an unsaved husband and does a pretty good job of it.

                        Best books for understanding men

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul

By John Eldredge

This bestseller resonates with men who find Christianity boring and irrelevant as it is practiced today. Eldredge’s vision of Godly men as wild, dangerous, unfettered and free has found a receptive audience. This book has taken the church by storm, and I recommend this book as a prerequisite to my own.

Healing The Masculine Soul

By Gordon Dalbey

This volume was one of the inspirations for my book. Dalbey draws upon his experience counseling men to provide a very accurate window into their souls. Gordon is a good writer and this book is an easy read.

The Silence of Adam

By Larry Crabb

This little book is packed with insig

ht into the loss of manhood in our society – and in the church. Crabb identifies the causes of masculine passivity and summons men to full-hearted living.

No More Christian Nice Guy

By Paul Coughlin

Paul Coughlin identifies a cancer that’s growing in our churches today: an epidemic of passive, sweet nice guys who are failing to lead their churches, their families and their communities. Men, if you’ve ever wondered why there wasn’t more to the Christian life than what you’ve experienced, read this book.

             Best books for those interested in men’s ministry

Effective Men’s Ministry: The Indispensable Toolkit for Your Church

By Phil Downer, editor

A collection of brief, enlightening essays from today’s top men’s ministry experts. Learn from the men who are actually creating thriving men’s ministries in their local churches.

How to Build a Life-Changing Men’s Ministry

By Steve Sonderman

A very practical step-by-step guide that helps you take the excitement of a men’s retreat or Promise Keepers’ weekend and turn that into a viable men’s ministry. Sonderman founded the popular TOP GUN ministry in Brookfield, Wisconsin

Best books on masculine spirituality

Wildmen, Warriors and Kings: Masculine Spirituality and the Bible

By Patrick Arnold

A Catholic priest examines the masculine archetypes present in the Bible, and reveals how we as Christian men can benefit by modeling ourselves after them. You’ll never see the men of the Bible the same again.

Fire in the Belly

By Sam Keen

This is not even a religious book, but it’s one of the most insightful ones I’ve read. And just about every Christian leader I’ve ever mentioned it to has read it, too. Although I don’t agree with many of his zen-like conclusions, Keen is such an incisive observer his book is definitely worth a read.

Best books on boys

Future Men

By Douglas Wilson

This book teaches readers how to stop fearing and to start embracing the budding masculinity in their sons. Learn how a boy growing up in a mainline congregation can actually come out of the experience a Christian.

Raising a Modern-Day Knight

By Robert Lewis

Throughout human history, the men of society have been responsible for initiating boys into manhood. Robert Lewis offers a practical guide for any man who wants to provide his sons with rites of passage.

Passed thru Fire

By Rick Bundschuh

Another great resource for understanding young male initiation. This book will whet your appetite for the accompanying DVD. Learn from a church in Hawaii that’s reaching fatherless young men with the gospel.

              Best books on creating a more effective church

Why Nobody Learns Much of Anything at Church: And How to Fix It

By Thom and Joani Schultz

This book is intended as a Sunday school reform book, but read it with men in mind. It’s amazingly insightful and could serve as a blueprint for a re-thinking of how we teach men.

Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry & Mary

By Lee Strobel

Written by a former atheist who found God, this book is well written and insightful.

Surprising Insights from the Unchurched

By Thomas Rainer

This Baptist seminary dean studied more than 350 formerly unchurched men and women to find out why they had suddenly started coming to church. Rainer’s findings may surprise you.

Leading Beyond the Walls

By Adam Hamilton

Hamilton built America’s fastest-growing mainline congregation with a healthy dose of the masculine spirit. If there’s a future for the mainline, Hamilton has got it squarely in his sights.

The Purpose Driven Church

By Rick Warren

Don’t forget the book that started a revolution. Warren’s 40 Days of Purpose have brought individual believers to life, but our church structures remain amazingly resistant to the changes that are needed. If you haven’t read this book, do it!

The Second Coming of the Church

By George Barna

This book literally saved my faith. At a point when I was so frustrated with church, Barna assured me I was not imagining it; church structures were actually keeping me from becoming the man God was calling me to be. An amazingly insightful book, this book is a roadmap for reform in our congregations.

Boundaries: Book Review

Boundaries

 

Boundaries:           Book Review

Boundaries:                                                   What they are and what they do?

A boundary, as Cloud and Townsend put it, is a property line; this is used as a metaphor for the "line" that delineates what is oneself from what is not oneself. The concept of a boundary can also be used to define what a relationship is from what it is not. Just as every self should have a clearly established and communicated boundary line, so should every relationship. The emphasis in Cloud and Townsend’s treatment, however, is on personal boundaries as they affect relationships with others. (Unfortunately, they fail to make a clear distinction between boundaries that define a relationship and boundaries that define oneself.)

The Law of . . .

  • Sowing and Reaping

Our actions have consequences. Someone will bear them.

Don’t interrupt this law by regularly bailing others out.

  • Responsibility

We are responsible to, not for each other.

We are to love one another, not be one another.

  • Power

We do not have power over other people

We hardly have enough power over ourselves

  • Respect

If we wish our boundaries to be respected we must respect those of others. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

  • Motivation

We must be free to say no before we can wholeheartedly say yes.

“Acts of love” are worthless if we don’t feel to have a choice

  • Evaluation

We need to evaluate the effects our boundaries cause others

Hurt and harm are not the same – pain may eventually lead to growth

  • Pro-activity

Boundaries must express what you stand for , not just what you are against

Solve problems on the basis of your values, wants, and needs

  • Envy

We will never get what we want if we focus on what others have

Envy keeps us empty and unfulfilled

  • Activity

We need to take the initiative to solve our problems

Don’t wait for your spouse to go the first step

  • Exposure

Boundaries must be communicated

Otherwise they are invisible to others

breakingfree_header

Proper boundaries promote several key essentials of healthy relationships:

Personal Responsibility: Once it is established what is "me" and what is "not me," I know to assume ownership of, and responsibility for, what is "me," and, conversely, to eschew taking ownership of, or responsibility for, what is "not me" but is someone else’s "property," or self.

Freedom: Boundaries set the stage for personal freedom, both of oneself and of one’s partner in relationship. With clearly delineated boundaries, I will not be continually frustrated attempting to "fix" matters on someone else’s property, but will attend to what I do have control over, namely, myself. Having disowned the other person’s property, I disavow personal responsibility for the other person’s behavior and its consequences; thus, I set limits on the extent to which I allow another’s behavior to control my actions, and I recover for myself a sense of free agency. Boundaries also give me the freedom to acknowledge the freedom of the other person to manage her property as she sees fit.

Love: The exercise of self-control over one’s own property and the refusal either to exercise or to allow other-control also set the stage for a mature, mutually beneficial, loving relationship. Boundaries are especially crucial in marriage–which is, after all, primarily a relationship of love. Without boundaries, love falters, and marriage fails.

Cloud and Townsend describe how boundaries facilitate freedom and responsibility in marriage: "Other-control is the antithesis of having boundaries in marriage. Boundaries relinquish other-control for self-control (Galatians 5:23). Boundaries preserve the freedom of one’s spouse without at the same time enabling the irresponsibility of that spouse" (Boundaries in Marriage, 76).

Protection: When the other person in a relationship dishonor

s your personal boundaries–and/or those of the relationship–then your boundaries can serve to protect you from injury. This is accomplished by taking control of your own territory and securing its perimeter against harmful intrusions, rather than by taking control of the one who would hurt you. When you control and limit your responses to the other’s behavior in such a way that he ends up reaping bad consequences for bad behavior, then you are protected from having to experience, and assume responsibility for, all the bad consequences yourself. The net result of such action usually is to limit what the other can get away with in his relationship with you. But you do not prevent the other from engaging in bad behavior; he remains free to do so if he chooses. The price for such behavior is simply shifted from you to the one who is responsible for it.

Accepting Reality: When we establish and communicate boundaries in relationships, we say "no" to elements of abuse, control, manipulation, and denial in those relationships. Sometimes this will entail saying "no" to the relationship itself, if the other party is unwilling to accept the challenge to change and mature. Yet it is better to acknowledge and grieve the loss of the relationship, and then be free to go on to better and healthier things, than to remain enmeshed in an illusory and self-destructive quest to "win" the love of someone who simply does not have it to give.

Boundaries in counseling

Cloud and Townsend do not specifically stipulate therapeutic methods for helping clients develop strong boundaries. It is clear from the counseling stories they tell, however, that their style of counseling is direct and confrontational. Their therapeutic goals focus more on action than insight, and their counsel primarily concerns ways that clients can change their thinking and behavior; thus, it seems, their therapeutic approach would be most readily categorized with the cognitive behavior counseling models.

They will usually spend some time initially listening and empathizing, and then will ask a question or two that will directly pinpoint the boundary weakness that they discern to be the problem. The one element of therapy that always seems to be employed is the direct diagnosis and prescription (which usually entails some "homework"). They are not above a slightly sarcastic diagnosis and prescription, if they feel the client is up for it. Cloud tells of a client who was fussing about whether or not to propose marriage to his girlfriend, who did not always "make him happy." Discerning that, according to this fellow, the sole purpose of the relationship was to make him feel happy, Cloud impatiently advised that the man buy himself a goldfish. Even a dog would demand too much from him; a woman would most certainly be out of the question. From that point, Cloud reports, they began to make some progress in the session (Boundaries in Marriage, 109). Cloud and Townsend evidently get results with their direct and confrontational approach, but it would seem to have its limitations.

Of course, a counselor working on boundary issues with her client need not employ a direct, confrontational style in order to get the message across. The principles explicated by Cloud and Townsend can be communicated by nondirective means when the client is perceptive enough to grasp these concepts for himself within the context of the healing process.

The books are written as easily comprehensible "self-help," but boundaries can prove difficult to negotiate, especially where they have been heretofore absent in a person’s life. Any individual with a relationship problem that presents a significant impediment to her emotional health should probably seek the guidance of a counselor to work through and apply to her own situation the concepts presented in these books. Cloud and Townsend frequently note the need for people to seek out guidance and support.

Clients and issues best served by the therapy

The "Ten Laws of Boundaries," and their applications in personal relationships, should be helpful to a broad spectrum of people. They are specific and practical, yet free of the liabilities inherent to the formulaic prescriptions and stereotyped generalizations that tend to characterize most Christian self-help books on marriage and relationships. In other words, this therapy seems to offer a path to genuine spiritual and emotional growth, not just a superficial quick fix.

Boundaries therapy should prove particularly useful in marriage counseling. I would want Boundaries in Marriage to be required reading for any married couple in counseling. As Cloud and Townsend note, "If there were ever a relationship where boundaries could get confused, it is marriage, where by design husband and wife ‘become one flesh’ (Eph. 5:31)….More marriages fail because of poor boundaries than for any other reason" (Boundaries, 150). Marriage is a veritable breeding ground for boundary confusion.

Clients most likely to benefit from developing strong boundaries would seem to be married women whose sense of self has been severely attenuated by the common evangelical presupposition that the wife’s place is one of ancillary support and service to the man–which, essentially, relieves her of the responsibility to take ownership of her life as a separate individual. Given the wide popularity and acceptance of the Boundaries books in the evangelical community, it is heartening to note that Cloud and Townsend apparently recognize the spiritual and psychological foolishness of the "submission" doctrine that is so often and so dogmatically propagated by a number of influential Christian leaders (including psychologists).

Every bit of Cloud and Townsend’s advice for spouses is applicable to either spouse; they do not have gender-specific counsel. This only makes sense, after all. The topic at issue is human relationship; given that both husband and wife are human beings, it is reasonable to assume that, as the saying goes, "what is good for the goose is good for the gander." Of course, the idea of a wife setting boundaries entails an unwillingness on her part to acquiesce to her husband’s demands, desires, and agenda as though they were, ipso facto, God’s will for her and the family.

Predictably, Cloud and Townsend report that their counsel often elicits some consternation in their hearers: "But that doesn’t sound submissive!" Without directly repudiating the typical evangelical understanding of wifely submission, they offer a clearly understandable, sensible, practical alternative to it.

They also pull no punches when they declare, "We have never seen a ‘submission problem’ that did not have a controlling husband at its root. When the wife begins to set clear boundaries, the lack of Christlikeness in a controlling husband becomes evident because the wife is no longer enabling his immature behavior. She is confronting the truth and setting biblical limits on hurtful behavior. Often, when the wife sets boundaries, the husband begins to grow up" (Boundaries, 161-62).

Boundaries therapy makes
a promise similar to that offered in the submission literature: you can make your marriage better, maybe even save it, just by changing your own behavior. Only one spouse–at least initially–needs to work at living within her boundaries; the other spouse need only be reasonably sane and reasonably committed to the marriage. Also like the submission advice, boundaries therapy operates on the basis of just a few basic principles that are then applied to individual marriages. However, the principles of straightforward truth-telling, and self-control displacing other-control, are incompatible with the standard evangelical fare advising women that they can get what they want in their marriage through "submission."

Another difference is that setting boundaries leads to pain and conflict (a necessary element in the healing process), and probably a disgruntled spouse who must get used to not always having his own way; whereas a woman who follows the submission line of advice will experience an immediate reduction of conflict in the marriage.

Proper boundaries will ultimately yield the fruit of freedom, love, wholeness, responsibility, and authenticity in a marriage. By contrast, a "submissive" wife may learn to get what she wants manipulatively, as a child is rewarded by an indulgent or oblivious parent; but she will not know real oneness with her husband if she has failed to define herself as a whole person separate from her husband.

Limitations of the therapy

Cloud and Townsend’s boundaries therapy is directed toward more or less healthy persons who have developed some unhelpful patterns of self-perception and interpersonal interaction. This therapy would be insufficient for treating pathological character disorders or mental illness–although the concept of personal boundaries could certainly be a part of therapy for such individuals. It is hard to imagine an emotional problem that doesn’t involve some failure to own and take responsibility for oneself. Not only would Cloud and Townsend’s advice be insufficient for those with full-blown character disorders, it might also do more harm than good.

For example, it might be somewhat less than helpful to ask to hear your spouse’s views on how you should change your behavior, if your spouse happens to live in the unreality of a narcissistic or borderline personality (see Boundaries in Marriage, 69-74).

Furthermore, Cloud and Townsend sometimes attempt to apply the boundaries concept to personality problems that do not seem to be caused by defective boundaries (as they define boundaries). This is most evident in their efforts to apply the boundaries motif to the breaking of bad habits. Although setting boundaries involves exercising self-control, any disorder involving a lack of self-control does not necessarily entail inadequate boundaries.

What does it mean to "set boundaries on yourself" when boundaries are defined as setting a property line around yourself? In addressing overeaters, they speak of "an internal self-boundary problem" and assert that food serves as a "false boundary" (Boundaries, 209). This seems to be a rather sloppy, overly expansive use of the boundaries concept.

A primary function of setting boundaries is to cause the person with whom you are in relationship to suffer the consequences of his own irresponsibility. His behavior is put on the other side of your personal "property line" so you are not obligated to suffer the consequences; if it is on his side of the fence, it is his problem, not yours. (It’s not always this simple, but this is basically how Cloud and Townsend present it.) But this works only as long as you keep the boundary in place. If you relent and knock down the fence, then the other’s irresponsible behavior becomes your problem.

However, if you treat the "bad" part of yourself as a "problem person" with whom you have a relationship, and you set up a fence–a "self-boundary"–between you and your inner addict, then who is going to suffer when your inner addict goes on a binge? You are, of course. You cannot separate yourself from the consequences of your own behavior. Boundaries do not control other people’s behavior; they keep other people’s behavior from controlling you.

Thus, the principle is not applicable to negotiating the relationship between you and yourself–as Cloud and Townsend suggest (see Boundaries, chapter 12). You will be affected, even injured, by your own irresponsible behavior–unless, of course, there is a co-dependent in your life who is bearing for you the consequences of your irresponsibility. If this is the case, the solution lies in the co-dependent person setting clear boundaries that keep the consequences of your behavior on your side of her property line.

Theological integration

Cloud and Townsend are not theologians, and they do not conceptualize their psychological counsel in systematic theological terms. (For that matter, their presentation lacks precision and coherence on several non-theological points, as well.) Their theological integration consists primarily of citing proof texts for their various therapeutic principles. However, they do a fairly good job at this. Some of their proof texts are only superficially related to the concept the text is used to support, and really have nothing to do with boundaries. Other biblical texts, however, are quite aptly enlisted in defense of personal boundaries.

Note, for example, Galatians 6:2 and 5. "Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. For all must carry their own loads." Cloud and Townsend use this text to show that we are responsible for ourselves (v. 5), and are responsible to one another (v. 2). They explain that "burdens" refer to weights too heavy for one to bear alone, and all who are able are responsible to relieve the burdens of others so afflicted. "Loads" refer to every individual’s responsibilities in life, and these should not be assumed by, or abdicated to, another (Boundaries, 30-31; Boundaries in Marriage, 42).

Jesus’ parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30 powerfully illustrates the Lord’s desire for each of us to acknowledge ownership of, and take responsibility for, the talents or assets of which God has made us stewards (see Boundaries, 44-45).

Another oft-cited text with obvious relevance to personal boundaries is Proverbs 25:28. "Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control." Cloud and Townsend invoke another text from Proverbs when noting that "one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other is the gift of honesty and confrontation. As Proverbs tells us, ‘Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses’" (Proverbs 27:6). We grow when someone who loves us ‘wounds’ us by telling us painful truths we need to hear. Requiring responsibility from each other by telling each other the truth and not giving in to each other’s immaturity is indeed a gift"

(Boundaries in Marriage, 95).

They also offer some helpful discussion of God and boundaries. For example: "As we become like him, he is redeeming our boundaries and our limits. He has defined who we are and what our limits are so that he can bless us: ‘Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance’ (Ps. 16:5-6)" (Boundaries, 240).

The most common criticism of boundaries therapy–especially, it seems, from Christians–is that it encourages selfishness. In response, Cloud and Townsend note that selfishness is wrong because it is unloving; however, "appropriate boundaries actually increase our ability to care about others." Furthermore, selfishness must not be confused with stewardship. Boundaries enable us to be faithful stewards of God’s good gifts. "When we say no to people and activities that are hurtful to us, we are protecting God’s investment" (Boundaries, 103-105). They also make repeated efforts to distinguish between a selfish abuse of boundaries and a loving use of boundaries.

When it comes to discussing theology proper–i.e., the nature and acts of God–Cloud and Townsend are sometimes a bit vague, confused, and imprecise. Their analogies between human/human relationships and God/human relationships are sometimes helpful, but perhaps just as often lacking in important qualification.

For example, on the matter of God changing his mind, they claim that "the Bible is clear. It is as though God says, ‘If it really means that much to you, it’s okay with me.’ One of the most astounding teachings of the Bible is that we can influence God. It wouldn’t be a real relationship if we couldn’t" (Boundaries, 233). This statement is rife with theological question marks and ambiguities. Given the vigor with which such questions of providence are being debated among theologians and philosophers today, it is hardly accurate or fair to say that "the Bible is clear" on this.

Conclusion

The boundaries therapy of Cloud and Townsend have much to offer both Christian counselors and their clients, particularly clients whose basic need is to develop more effective relationship skills. An emphasis on developing strong personal boundaries should be especially helpful in marriage counseling.

The principles presented in these books are a needed corrective to imbalances that afflict the self-concepts and relationships of many individuals–imbalances that seem to be encouraged by contemporary American evangelical culture. Although not without some limitations and deficiencies, the books’ drawbacks pale in comparison to the overall helpfulness of their clear presentation of crucial, biblically-based principles of emotional and relational health.

Any implementation of these strategies in relationships must remain conscious of not taking them to extreme and have a balanced objective Implementation. Any extreme can be dangerous and self-defeating. The ability to not look at your situations with black and white observations. To look at them with non-emotional subjectivity and have a balanced objective viewpoint of seeing with proper measurement of reality and rational perception. This means seeing the gray areas. Not taking a stand on the hill of urgency. Knowing when and where to draw the boundary lines with your self and others is vital.

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Anger

anger-m

Seneca, a Roman philosopher-educator (4-65 A.D.), offered the
Following self-control techniques in his book “Of Anger”...
 
a. Avoid frustrating situations by noting where you got angry
in the past (cf. Mt 26:41; Pro 4:14-15)
b. Reduce your anger by taking time, focusing on other emotions
(pleasure, shame, or fear), avoiding weapons of aggression,
and attending to other matters (cf. Ph 4:8)
c. Respond calmly to an aggressor with empathy or mild,
unprovocative comments or with no response at all (cf. Pro
15:1)
d. If angry, concentrate on the undesirable consequences of
becoming aggressive (cf. Psa 37:8)
1) Tell yourself: “Why give them the satisfaction of knowing
you are upset?”
2) Or “It isn’t worth being mad over.”
e. Reconsider the circumstances and try to understand the
motives or viewpoint of the other person (cf. Ph 2:3-4)
f. Train yourself to be empathic with others (cf. 2 Ti 2:24-26)
1)    Be tolerant of human weakness
2)     Be forgiving (ask yourself if you haven’t done something
as bad)
3)    Follow the “great lesson of mankind: to do as we would be
done by” (cf. Mt 7:12)
a. Reduce your frustrations
1) Find the source of your frustration, whether they be
people or subjects or situations
2) Attempt to reduce or eliminate your exposure to these
negative stimuli
b. Reduce violent stimuli in your life
1) Choosing to avoid violent movies, violent and aggressive
friends is part of this approach
2) Be very selective with your friends so that they do not
goad you into anger and rage
3) Eliminate drugs and alcohol as stimulants of anger.
c. Reveal yourself and understand others
1) Announce you may be having a bad day to others
2) Attempt to indicate to others they are having a bad day
and offer to listen or let them vent
d. Stop hostile fantasies
1) Cease dwelling on issues or people which aggravate
2) Think smooth. Think cool.
e. Do not escalate the violence
Aggressive action on your part may cause an equally\ aggressive 
response which starts a vicious cycle
f. Convert your violent reaction
1) Count to ten, take a deep breath, or go work out are
variations on this theme
2) Think of the source of the aggravation and whether a
violent reaction will accomplish any purpose other than
remorse, which is not a goal
g. Cease using temper to get your way - While successful in the
short term, using anger to win points is a losing strategy
in the long run
h. Use stress inoculation - This approach involves awareness of
our own irrational fantasies, learning better understanding
of why others are weak when they show rage, and rehearsing
how to be calm in the face of angering stimulation
i. Disconnect anger from frustrating people or issues or
desensitization
j. Consider meditation and mild exercise to relax on God's Word
 
· Timing: if you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you’re tired, or distracted, or maybe it’s just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don’t turn into arguments. 

· Avoidance: if your child’s chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don’t make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don’t say’well, my child should clean up the room so I won’t have to be angry!’ That’s not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.

· Finding alternatives: if your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map

out a different route, one that’s less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.

 

SERVANTHOOD

servanthood 

 

The American heritage dictionary states a servant is “One who expresses submission, recognizance, or debt to another.” This above definition is a description of the master servant and teacher the Lord Jesus Christ. He was to spend and to be spent for the sake of our salvation and daily life. The personal operating policy and philosophy of any man of God should be patterned after the Lord’s heart. The practical application of policy and philosophy is evident throughout the life of Jesus. God states in His Word that “He Has called men to be Shepard’s after his own heart.”

My personal policy, a course of action and guiding principle in ministry is:

John 13:13‑15

13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.

14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.

15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

(King James Version )

footwash

Therefore, the course of action and guiding principle of my personal ministry is to resemble the pattern of Jesus Christ to wash the feet of everyone being no respecter of persons. This is an example of true humility and representation of the patterned character of the heart of a servant. In my personal ministry I want to have His heart and course of action of meeting people where they are at in life and cleansing them where they need to be cleansed with the accepting Love of Christ. This is my guiding principle to be a foot washer of the multitude. The biblical principle of promotion is very simple the humble shall be exalted. An illustration of how I implemented this in my personal ministry is with Grace Home Ministries, Inc. Founding this home and ministry by washing the feet of other leaders of the ministry and living the life of a servant to homeless and addicted men.

Grace Home Ministries Inc. Is a non-profit Christian organization that helps individuals who have recently been delivered from life controlling problems to become responsible, productive and caring individuals through its personal development program. This program ministers to the spiritual, psychological and physical needs of its clients.

This ministry served as a bridge between the streets and the local church community by preparing and training the individuals to live drug free, Christ-centered lives. It facilitated these goals by teaching its clients about addiction and presenting them the biblical alternative to life challenging problems and addiction by offering the biblical solution to freedom based upon “The Finished Work” of Jesus Christ and His principles.

Servant Leadership

A result of being broken in the right place, in the soul, yields a leader with the heart of a servant. Just as leadership is a relationship versus something a leader does, servant leadership is a type of relationship process. It is a relationship whereby a group of people choose to serve each other in unique roles. Servant leadership is about a group of people mutually submitting to each other for the purpose of achieving something they could not achieve alone.

What makes a leader a servant leader is not temperament, strength, or energy. What makes a leader a servant leader is first and foremost the type of motivation in the leader. When the motivation of the leader is to unleash the potential of the followers and primarily benefit the needs of the organization, that person is a servant leader. A person who is not a servant leader will tend toward more mixed motives in leading, striving to lead out of pride, manipulation, and force.

Servant leaders understand that means to ends are just as important as ends. A person can feign servanthood by claiming that the goals of the organization are for the benefit of all involved, and that whatever it takes to reach those goals is justified. Each of us know pastors who would claim to be serving the people and would consider themselves servant leaders, but who go about reaching church goals via manipulation, using people, and who privately exemplify a very prideful attitude.

A Servant Versus a Servant Leader

You can be a servant and not a leader. You can be a leader and not a servant. But to be a servant leader, you must first become a servant. A servant leader is one who both serves by leading and leads in such a way as to exemplify a servant’s attitude. Two people can do the exact same job, and one be a servant and the other not a servant. A leader ceases to be a servant leader when he ceases to lead with the right attitude. A servant ceases to be a servant leader when he ceases to lead. A leader is one who brings about change via an influence relationship. In the literal sense, a person ceases to be a servant leader when he is not seeking to bring about change.

Quite often, we describe servant leadership by inverting the pyramid, suggesting that in this view the leader is at the bottom, serving the needs of the people. The servant leader has the fewest rights in that the task is to help others find their potential and fulfillment as a part of the organism. 

If we place leaders on a single line with others in the leadership relationship, the implication is that there are none higher or lower, but that all are peers in an influence relationship. The amount of one’s influence is represented by one’s length on the line. The wider the length, the more the influence. People who are not in the leadership relationship are not even on the line. This is perhaps a better view of what the New Testament means when discussing spiritual gifts and the Body of Christ. No part of the body is better than another, just because some are given more prominence. Thus, none are higher or lower, just different. This does not suggest that all are equal in impact. The heart plays a more vital role than the hand. In leadership, the leader fills the key role because without this person or persons the quality of the relationship would be severely reduced. At the same time, the leader is considered a peer, just another part doing her unique job. Because leaders are a minority, they are usually the hardest to replace as well. A linear peer relationship conveys se

rvanthood because it equalizes everyone when the tendency is to elevate leaders, even servant leaders.

Motives are difficult to measure. Perhaps only God can effectively judge such subconscious workings of the mind. However, servant leadership involves a much kinder, gentler approach to leading. It can be equally forceful and dynamic, but does not reduce the esteem of followers. Some managers debunk leadership because they have seen so many people get chewed up in the process. They equate strong leading with autocratic, dictatorial, love’em and leave tactics. This is an indication of ineffective leading and a lack of servant leading. Effective leading rarely leaves bodies strewn along its path due to blowing people over who will not bend to the new goals and vision. Effective leading communicates, motivates, inspires, and wins people’s wills. Servant leadership is a win-win proposition. Other types of leading take a win-lose approach, especially if a win-win is not possible or is too expensive. The reason why leadership has at times left bad impressions is almost always due to a lack of servanthood integrated into the process by the leader.

 

love

Without the love, theology makes no difference. Begin with love in your own heart. Love of Christ and love of people are uniquely important qualities to people who would be ministers, teachers, counselors and physicians.

They asked Jesus, What is the greatest commandment?

Matthew 22

35. One of them, an expert in the law, tested Jesus with this question:

36. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

37. Jesus replied: "`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

38. This is the first and greatest commandment.

39. And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.’

40. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

 

The first person you must lead is yourself. Your time, your resources reflect something personal. So first you must lead yourself. It is hard to lead others, if you are a mess yourself. It is hard to teacher others if you don’t believe in what you have to say.

Jesus was very clear about what we should be committed to:

Matthew 6

31. So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’

32. For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

33. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

 

Love trumps skill. Skills can be learned, but without love, skills have no value. So the servant leader gathers the skills needed to do the job, skills can be learned with love and commitment. Servant leaders must separate the important from the urgent. Information gathering, information presentation, feedback. With a vision for the Kingdom, we acquire the skills we need.

My personal philosophy, the system of values by which one lives in ministry is:

Matt 23:11

11 But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.

(King James Version )

Therefore, my personal philosophy, the system of values by which I live is to serve from the position of being the least. If I have this mind set then I will not elevate myself over another and always remember that I am no greater than the ones I serve. This philosophy will be the system of values by which I choose to model and pattern my family, personal life and ministry after.

The greatest servant is one who has a system of Values and course of action that is guided by the principles of charity.

1 Cor 13:13

13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

(King James Version )

Yet some would ask: What’s love got to do with it? Aren’t the essential requirements of leadership to be results oriented and to personify authenticity and employ a variety of techniques and emphases?

Love is the greatest because it serves faith and hope. It serves faith because how can you believe in someone whom you don’t love and how can you hope in someone if you don’t know the root of the hope. The root is Christly love dwelling richly within us and working outwardly in service of faith and hope.

I believe that ministry must be a personal work of a personal God within us motivating our life to have faith in him for the results by encouraging hope in others. The whole essence of the belief of this principle is based upon the work of redemption on the Cross of Calvary.

We are called to be co-laborers together with God in reconciling the world to Him and this work must be motivated by the love of God dwelling in us or we will depend upon only a commandment and not the power of faith. We are to be hope-bringers to this ever so dying depraved world around us by being in the faith by Christ’s love.

The example of our Lord Jesus Christ is the pattern in which I have set to be my personal operating policy and philosophy. The pattern is one that is perfect and without error, but the one following the pattern is not perfect. I have found in ministry that my greatest failures and mistakes teach me to be molded into the pattern of being a servant. I believe that immediate bouncing back into the pattern when we fall out of it is the sign of growth. We fail to realize that crisis in our lives allows us to be tested so we may grow into His pattern and not into our own patterns of our old sin nature.

The greatest failure in Christianity is one who attempts to live up to the pattern of Jesus and fails to realize the heart of the pattern. The root of this comes from religion, which is man trying to find God, the truth is God has found us and is working in us. We see this in

the cults and comparative religions of the world because they are seeking to please their god and please him with some kind of service. This can also be found in Christianity in legalism and performance based works programs established to enforce outward servant-hood without the heart and power inwardly. These teachings don’t allow room for someone to grow up into the pattern of being a servant it produces failure and preoccupation with one’s own performance. When our focus remains upon the Finished and Completed Work of the Cross of Christ, His burial, and resurrection we will want to have our life patterned after the great commandment and great commission. The unfinished work is the Great Commission, to reach, preach, teach, baptize, and reproduce servants AFTER God’s own heart.

 

200701hand

This paper has the policy and the philosophy of my personal ministry. I have determined to pattern my life because of the tremendous leadership of Christ that surrounds me and encourages me daily to mirror Christly servant-hood and His amazing leadership. These values and system of beliefs are not learned in a book but practiced in daily life and walk in God’s service. Failure has been my greatest teacher of all. Through life I have discovered victory and change in my personal practice of service. Failure is never final; it is the birth of a Change of mind. It is vital to recognize and learn in failure so we do not continue to fail over and over in the same area. Every failure in life is a unique learning experience, which God allows to sovereignty teach us to be more like Him. Does this mean that we should intentionally fail to get to know God? God forbid, I honestly believe that until we are perfected ultimately in Heaven we will continue to fail God and His commands. The more and more I get to know God intimately the more depraved I see myself and the greater God looks to me personally. The more I see my own heart as deceitful, depraved, and desperately wicked, the more I want to pattern my life after God’s own heart instead of relying upon my own hearts guidance.

 

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                         (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.comyoungadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Do you Believe in Easter?

easter easter2007

214EmptyTombPaintLuke24_6

"Do WE believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ?" The answer will determine how we live our earthly lives and where we will spend our lives in eternity. With that in mind, let’s look at Luke 23:50-24:12 to see what evidence we find for the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the grave.

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today!

He walks with me and talks with me along life’s narrow way.

 
He lives, He lives, salvation to impart!

You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart


Evidence for the Resurrection

 

by Josh McDowell

For centuries many of the world’s distinguished philosophers have assaulted Christianity as being irrational, superstitious and absurd. Many have chosen simply to ignore the central issue of the resurrection. Others have tried to explain it away through various theories. But the historical evidence just can’t be discounted.

A student at the University of Uruguay said to me. "Professor McDowell, why can’t you refute Christianity?"

"For a very simple reason," I answered. "I am not able to explain away an event in history–the resurrection of Jesus Christ."

How can we explain the empty tomb? Can it possibly be accounted for by any natural cause?

A QUESTION OF HISTORY

After more than 700 hours of studying this subject, I have come to the conclusion that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is either one of the most wicked, vicious, heartless hoaxes ever foisted on the minds of human beings–or it is the most remarkable fact of history.

Here are some of the facts relevant to the resurrection: Jesus of Nazareth, a Jewish prophet who claimed to be the Christ prophesied in the Jewish Scriptures, was arrested, was judged a political criminal, and was crucified. Three days after His death and burial, some women who went to His tomb found the body gone. In subsequent weeks, His disciples claimed that God had raised Him from the dead and that He appeared to them various times before ascending into heaven.

From that foundation, Christianity spread throughout the Roman Empire and has continued to exert great influence down through the centuries.

LIVING WITNESSES

The New Testament accounts of the resurrection were being circulated within the lifetimes of men and women alive at the time of the resurrection. Those people could certainly have confirmed or denied the accuracy of such accounts.

The writers of the four Gospels either had themselves been witnesses or else were relating the accounts of eyewitnesses of the actual events. In advocating their case for the gospel, a word that means "good news," the apostles appealed (even when confronting their most severe opponents) to common knowledge concerning the facts of the resurrection.

F. F. Bruce, Rylands professor of biblical criticism and exegesis at the University of Manchester, says concerning the value of the New Testament records as primary sources: "Had there been any tendency to depart from the facts in any material respect, the possible presence of hostile witnesses in the audience would have served as a further corrective."

IS THE NEW TESTAMENT RELIABLE?

Because the New Testament provides the primary historical source for information on the resurrection, many critics during the 19th century attacked the reliability of these biblical documents.

By the end of the 1 9th century, however, archaeological discoveries had confirmed the accuracy of the New Testament manuscripts. Discoveries of early papyri bridged the gap between the time of Christ and existing manuscripts from a later date.

Those findings increased scholarly confidence in the reliability of the Bible. William F. Albright, who in his day was the world’s foremost biblical archaeologist, said: "We can already say emphatically that there is no longer any solid basis for dating any book of the New Testament after about A.D. 80, two full generations before the date between 130 and 150 given by the more radical New Testament critics of today."

Coinciding with the papyri discoveries, an abundance of other manuscripts came to light (over 24,000 copies of early New Testament manuscripts are known to be in existence today). The historian Luke wrote of "authentic evidence" concerning the resurrection. Sir William Ramsay, who spent 15 years attempting to undermine Luke credentials as a historian, and to refute the reliability of the New Testament, finally concluded: "Luke is a historian of the first rank . . . This author should be placed along with the very greatest of historians. "


I claim to be an historian. My approach to Classics is historical. And I tell you that the evidence for the life, the death, and the resurrection of Christ is better authenticated than most of the facts of ancient history . . .

E. M. Blaiklock
Professor of Classics
Auckland University


BACKGROUND

The New Testament witnesses were fully aware of the background against which the resurrection took place. The body of Jesus, in accordance with Jewish burial custom, was wrapped in a linen cloth. About 100 pounds of aromatic spices, mixed together to form a gummy substance, were applied to the wrappings of cloth about the body. After the body was placed in a solid rock tomb, an extremely large stone was rolled against the entrance of the tomb. Large stones weighing approximately two tons were normally rolled (by means of levers) against a tomb entrance.

A Roman guard of strictly disciplined fighting men was stationed to guard the tomb. This guard affixed on the tomb the Roman seal, which was meant to "prevent any attempt at vandalizing the sepulcher. Anyone trying to move the stone from the tomb’s entrance would have broken the seal and thus incurred the wrath of Roman law.

But three days later the tomb was empty. The followers of Jesus said He had risen from the dead. They reported that He appeared to them during a period of 40 days, showing Himself to them by many "infallible proofs." Paul the apostle recounted that Jesus appeared to more than 500 of His followers at

one time, the majority of whom were still alive and who could confirm what Paul wrote. So many security precautions were taken with the trial, crucifixion, burial, entombment, sealing, and guarding of Christ’s tomb that it becomes very difficult for critics to defend their position that Christ did not rise from the dead. Consider these facts:

    FACT #1: BROKEN ROMAN SEAL

    As we have said, the first obvious fact was the breaking of the seal that stood for the power and authority of the Roman Empire. The consequences of breaking the seal were extremely severe. The FBI and CIA of the Roman Empire were called into action to find the man or men who were responsible. If they were apprehended, it meant automatic execution by crucifixion upside down. People feared the breaking of the seal. Jesus’ disciples displayed signs of cowardice when they hid themselves. Peter, one of these disciples, went out and denied Christ three times.

    FACT #2: EMPTY TOMB

    As we have already discussed, another obvious fact after the resurrection was the empty tomb. The disciples of Christ did not go off to Athens or Rome to preach that Christ was raised from the dead. Rather, they went right back to the city of Jerusalem, where, if what they were teaching was false, the falsity would be evident. The empty tomb was "too notorious to be denied." Paul Althaus states that the resurrection "could have not been maintained in Jerusalem for a single day, for a single hour, if the emptiness of the tomb had not been established as a fact for all concerned."

    Both Jewish and Roman sources and traditions admit an empty tomb. Those resources range from Josephus to a compilation of fifth-century Jewish writings called the "Toledoth Jeshu." Dr. Paul Maier calls this "positive evidence from a hostile source, which is the strongest kind of historical evidence. In essence, this means that if a source admits a fact decidedly not in its favor, then that fact is genuine."

    Gamaliel, who was a member of the Jewish high court, the Sanhedrin, put forth the suggestion that the rise of the Christian movement was God’s doing; he could not have done that if the tomb were still occupied, or if the Sanhedrin knew the whereabouts of Christ’s body.

    Paul Maier observes that " . . . if all the evidence is weighed carefully and fairly, it is indeed justifiable, according to the canons of historical research, to conclude that the sepulcher of Joseph of Arimathea, in which Jesus was buried, was actually empty on the morning of the first Easter. And no shred of evidence has yet been discovered in literary sources, epigraphy, or archaeology that would disprove this statement."

    FACT #3: LARGE STONE MOVED

    On that Sunday morning the first thing that impressed the people who approached the tomb was the unusual position of the one and a half to two ton stone that had been lodged in front of the doorway. All the Gospel writers mention it.


    There exists no document from the ancient world, witnessed by so excellent a set of textual and historical testimonies . . . Skepticism regarding the historical credentials of Christianity is based upon an irrational bias.

    Clark Pinnock
    Mcmaster University


    Those who observed the stone after the resurrection describe its position as having been rolled up a slope away not just from the entrance of the tomb, but from the entire massive sepulcher. It was in such a position that it looked as if it had been picked up and carried away. Now, I ask you, if the disciples had wanted to come in, tiptoe around the sleeping guards, and then roll the stone over and steal Jesus’ body, how could they have done that without the guards’ awareness?

    FACT #4: ROMAN GUARD GOES AWOL

    The Roman guards fled. They left their place of responsibility. How can their attrition he explained, when Roman military discipline was so exceptional? Justin, in Digest #49, mentions all the offenses that required the death penalty. The fear of their superiors’ wrath and the possibility of death meant that they paid close attention to the minutest details of their jobs. One way a guard was put to death was by being stripped of his clothes and then burned alive in a fire started with his garments. If it was not apparent which soldier had failed in his duty, then lots were drawn to see which one wand be punished with death for the guard unit’s failure. Certainly the entire unit would not have fallen asleep with that kind of threat over their heads. Dr. George Currie, a student of Roman military discipline, wrote that fear of punishment "produced flawless attention to duty, especially in the night watches."

    FACT #5: GRAVECLOTHES TELL A TALE

    In a literal sense, against all statements to the contrary, the tomb was not totally empty–because of an amazing phenomenon. John, a disciple of Jesus, looked over to the place where the body of Jesus had lain, and there were the grave clothes, in the form of the body, slightly caved in and empty–like the empty chrysalis of a caterpillar’s cocoon. That’s enough to make a believer out of anybody. John never did get over it. The first thing that stuck in the minds of the disciples was not the empty tomb, but rather the empty grave clothes–undisturbed in form and position.

    FACT #6: JESUS’ APPEARANCES CONFIRMED

    Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter . When studying an event in history, it is important to know whether enough people who were participants or eyewitnesses to the event were alive when the facts about the event were published. To know this is obviously helpful in ascertaining the accuracy of the published report. If the number of eyewitnesses is substantial, the event can he regarded as fairly well established. For instance, if we all witness a murder, and a later police report turns out to he a fabrication of lies, we as eyewitnesses can refute it.

OVER 500 WITNESSES

Several very important factors arc often overlooked when considering Christ’s post-resurrection appearances to individuals. The first is the large number of witnesses of Christ after that resurrection morning. One of the earliest records of Christ’s appearing after the resurrection is by Paul. The apostle appealed to his audience’s knowledge of the fact that Christ had been seen by more than 500 people at one time. Paul reminded them that the majority of those people were still alive and could be questioned. Dr. Edwin M. Yamauchi, associate professor of history at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, emphasizes: "What gives a special authority to the list (of witnesses) as historical evidence is the reference to most of the five hundred brethren being still alive. St. Paul says in effect, ‘If you do not believe me, you can ask them.’ Such a statement in an admittedly genuine letter written within thirty years of the event is almost as strong evidence as one could hope to get for something that happened nearly two thousand years ago." Let’s take the more than 500 witnesses who saw Jesus alive after His death and burial, and place them in a courtroom. Do you realize that if each of those 500 people were to testify for only six minutes, including cross-examination, you would have an amazing 50 hours of
firsthand testimony? Add to this the testimony of many other eyewitnesses and you would well have the largest and most lopsided trial in history.

HOSTILE WITNESSES

Another factor crucial to interpreting Christ’s appearances is that He also appeared to those who were hostile or unconvinced.

Over and over again, I have read or heard people comment that Jesus was seen alive after His death and burial only by His friends and followers. Using that argument, they attempt to water down the overwhelming impact of the multiple eyewitness accounts. But that line of reasoning is so pathetic it hardly deserves comment. No author or informed individual would regard Saul of Tarsus as being a follower of Christ. The facts show the exact opposite. Saul despised Christ and persecuted Christ’s followers. It was a life-shattering experience when Christ appeared to him. Although he was at the time not a disciple, he later became the apostle Paul, one of the greatest witnesses for the truth of the resurrection.


If the New Testament were a collection of secular writings, their authenticity would generally be regarded as beyond all doubt.

F. F. Bruce
Manchester University


The argument that Christ’s appearances were only to followers is an argument for the most part from silence, and arguments from silence can be dangerous. It is equally possible that all to whom Jesus appeared became followers. No one acquainted with the facts can accurately say that Jesus appeared to just "an insignificant few."

Christians believe that Jesus was bodily resurrected in time and space by the supernatural power of God. The difficulties of belief may be great, but the problems inherent in unbelief present even greater difficulties.

The theories advanced to explain the resurrection by "natural causes" are weak; they actually help to build confidence in the truth of the resurrection.

THE WRONG TOMB?

A theory propounded by Kirsopp Lake assumes that the women who reported that the body was missing had mistakenly gone to the wrong tomb. If so, then the disciples who went to check up on the women’s statement must have also gone to the wrong tomb. We may be certain, however, that Jewish authorities, who asked for a Roman guard to be stationed at the tomb to prevent Jesus’ body from being stolen, would not have been mistaken about the location. Nor would the Roman guards, for they were there!

If the resurrection-claim was merely because of a geographical mistake, the Jewish authorities would have lost no time in producing the body from the proper tomb, thus effectively quenching for all time any rumor resurrection.

HALLUCINATIONS?

Another attempted explanation claims that the appearances of Jesus after the resurrection were either illusions or hallucinations. Unsupported by the psychological principles governing the appearances of hallucinations, this theory also does not coincide with the historical situation. Again, where was the actual body, and why wasn’t it produced?

DID JESUS SWOON?

Another theory, popularized by Venturini several centuries ago, is often quoted today. This is the swoon theory, which says that Jesus didn’t die; he merely fainted from exhaustion and loss of blood. Everyone thought Him dead, but later He resuscitated and the disciples thought it to be a resurrection. Skeptic David Friedrich Strauss–certainly no believer in the resurrection–gave the deathblow to any thought that Jesus revived from a swoon: "It is impossible that a being who had stolen half-dead out of the sepulchre, who crept about weak and ill, wanting medical treatment, who required bandaging, strengthening and indulgence, and who still at last yielded to His sufferings, could have given to the disciples the impression that He was a Conqueror over death and the grave, the Prince of Life,


For the New Testament of Acts, the confirmation of historicity is overwhelming. Any attempt to reject its basic historicity, even in matters of detail, must now appear absurd. Roman historians have long taken it for granted.

A. N. Sherwin-White
Classical Roman Historian


an impression which lay at the bottom of their future ministry. Such a resuscitation could only have weakened the impression which He had made upon them in life and in death, at the most could only have given it an elegiac voice, but could by no possibility have changed their sorrow into enthusiasm, have elevated their reverence into worship."

THE BODY STOLEN?

Then consider the theory that the body was stolen by the disciples while the guards slept. The depression and cowardice of the disciples provide a hard-hitting argument against their suddenly becoming so brave and daring as to face a detachment of soldiers at the tomb and steal the body. They were in no mood to attempt anything like that.

The theory that the Jewish or Roman authorities moved Christ’s body is no more reasonable an explanation for the empty tomb than theft by the disciples. If the authorities had the body in their possession or knew where it was, why, when the disciples were preaching the resurrection in Jerusalem, didn’t they explain: "Wait! We moved the body, see, He didn’t rise from the grave"?

And if such a rebuttal failed, why didn’t they explain exactly where Jesus’ body lay? If this failed, why didn’t they recover the corpse, put it on a cart, and wheel it through the center of Jerusalem? Such an action would have destroyed Christianity–not in the cradle, but in the womb!

THE RESURRECTION IS A FACT

Professor Thomas Arnold, for 14 years a headmaster of Rugby, author of the famous, History of Rome, and appointed to the chair of modern history at Oxford, was well acquainted with the value of evidence in determining historical facts. This great scholar said: "I have been used for many years to study the histories of other times, and to examine and weigh the evidence of those who have written about them, and I know of no one fact in the history of mankind which is proved by better and fuller evidence of every sort, to the understanding of a fair inquirer, than the great sign which God bath given us that Christ died and rose again from the dead." Brooke Foss Westcott, an English scholar, said: "raking all the evidence together, it is not too much to say that there is no historic incident better or more variously supported than the resurrection of Christ. Nothing but the antecedent assumption that it must be false could have suggested the idea of deficiency in the proof of it."

REAL PROOF: THE DISCIPLES’ LIVES

But the most telling testimony of all must be the lives of those early Christians. We must ask ourselves: What caused them to go everywhere telling the message of the risen Christ?

Had there been any visible benefits accrued to them from their efforts–prestige, wealth, increased social status or material benefits–we might

logically attempt to account for their actions, for their whole-hearted and total allegiance to this "risen Christ ."

As a reward for their efforts, however, those early Christians were beaten, stoned to death, thrown to the lions, tortured and crucified. Every conceivable method was used to stop them from talking.

Yet, they laid down their lives as the ultimate proof of their complete confidence in the truth of their message.

WHERE DO YOU STAND?

How do you evaluate this overwhelming historical evidence? What is your decision about the fact of Christ’s empty tomb? What do you think of Christ?

When I was confronted with the overwhelming evidence for Christ’s resurrection, I had to ask the logical question: "What difference does all this evidence make to me? What difference does it make whether or not I believe Christ rose again and died on the cross for my sins!’ The answer is put best by something Jesus said to a man who doubted–Thomas. Jesus told him: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me" (John 14:6).

On the basis of all the evidence for Christ’s resurrection, and considering the fact that Jesus offers forgiveness of sin and an eternal relationship with God, who would be so foolhardy as to reject Him? Christ is alive! He is living today.

You can trust God right now by faith through prayer. Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. If you have never trusted Christ, you can do so right now.

The prayer I prayed is: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and trust You as my Savior. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be. Thank You that I can trust You."


Josh McDowell,

according to a recent survey, is one of the most popular speakers among university students today. He has spoken on more than 650 university and college campuses to more than seven million people in 74 countries during the last 21 years.

©1992 Josh McDowell Ministry

NEGOTIATION: CONFLICT RESOLUTION

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Acts 15:36-40

36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. 39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Can you imagine the tension as Paul told John Mark that he was not invited on the journey?

Can you sense the tension the next time the two men we together?

Were the two of them able to resolve the conflict by themselves? Or were others involved in mediating it?

Can you sense the celebration that was there as they sat together toward the end of Paul’s life?

They grew through conflict. They saw the opportunity for growth and took it.

We need to imagine grace of God’s presence than will produce harmony, even at the point of greatest conflict.

1 TIMOTHY 2:5-6

5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;

6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

Strong’s # 3316 is Mesites mediator 1) one who intervenes between two, either in order to make or restore peace and friendship, or form a compact, or for ratifying a covenant

The simplest translation of the word mediator is “in the middle.”

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NEGOTIATION:

Negotiating for our emotional, mental, & physical needs.

  • Negotiate in a patient & kind manner.
  • State your requests honestly, fully, and without apology.
  • You have feelings and needs, and you have a right to share your feelings and ask for your needs & wants to be met.
  • You should expect your feelings to be acknowledged.
  • You may or may not get your wants met. Your needs should be met, but a discussion may be held as to whether they are truly needs or simply wants.
  • The spectrum between needs and wants is wide and subject to individual interpretation.
  • The frequency and manner of meeting needs and wants is the heart of the process of negotiation.
  • Make requests, rather than demands. Requests embody and demonstrate the posture of asking for a gift, rather than taking property.
  • Speak in terms of personal expression such as, "I need" this, and "I feel" you are doing that.
  • Body language and tone must likewise indicate that my statements are simply "my requests" and "my feelings" rather than covert demands with consequences such as withdrawal of love or passive aggressive retaliation.
  • Realize that each person may have a different concept of what produces a noxious mental, physical, or emotional experience. Thus, what one person finds to be intolerable behavior, another might considered acceptable or desirable by another.
  • It is necessary for couples to come to an understanding and acceptance of their partner’s profile of pain producing stimuli.
  • Recognize that another person’s behavior is actually an experience outside one’s self. As such it does not intimately and necessarily affect me. Just separate from it, let it be, and see the behavior as an uninvolved observer, not as a participant.
  • Another method of coping with annoying habits is to simply appreciate that annoying behavior as a different expression of life, and view it as unique, special, cute, or something your mate does that makes him/her different from all the rest.
  • When there is an impasse in negotiation because of mutually exclusive needs, a separation of territory in a certain area of the marriage may make it possible to continue in relationship.
  • When unacceptable behavior is continued, and the offender has no willingness to change, then the offended party may unilaterally implement actions which protect his/her space. Such actions are a message and consequence as much as they are a protective measure.
  • It may require divine rearrangement of some emotional neural connections to come to the state of acceptance and even appreciation of some annoying habits and idiosyncratic tastes.
  • The best way to feel your mate’s annoying habits are acceptable behavior choices is prayer, and personal visualization of oneself
  • No compromise or acceptance should be made with behaviors that are ungodly. Such wrong behaviors will have to be done alone, in a totally separate space. The size of the space depends on the seriousness of violation of moral law.

While negotiation is important, it is almost impossible for most couples to engage all the "highly mature" concepts mentioned above in the heat of battle, a time when we all have the hardest time being civil.

  1. Commitment to resolution is the foundational spiritual posture that is necessary for conflict resolution to be successful.
  2. There must be an underlying willingness to maintain the union.
  3. The best resolution happens when there is an underlying fondness, respect, appreciation, trust, and love of the other person. When the love is lacking, the negotiation will more likely be perfunctory or power based.

negotiation123

Seven stages of the Family and Marriage mediation process:

1) Prepare for mediation

1) Begin the mediation

2) Communicate about the dispute

3) Define the issues and set the agenda

4) Clarify information and uncover hidden interests

5) Generate and assess options for settlement

6) Bring closure and settlement

1) Prepare for mediation –

- Prayer an important resource that is often overlooked.

- You are investing in the resolution not the conflict.

2) Begin the mediation –

- Set up and establish some basic ground rules

- The beginning of the mediation process is when the individuals are the most rational, to establish rules they will use when the conflict is more acute.

3) Communicate about the dispute –

- Communication in conflict resolution operates in two ways, speaking and listening.

- It is important that the both parties hear each other. – To listen carefully.

- We as the mediator must assure them that they will get an equal opportunity to talk.

- We also a mediator must remind them when they say things that are not productive and may be more harmful.

- This is where be become the manager of communication between their communication.

4) Define the issues and set the agenda –

- a) Clarify the issues

- b) Reframed them in more objective terms

- c) Set the agenda for problem – solving work.

- These steps diminish uncertainty and provide direction.

- Taking the issues in the order they are identified, or ranking the issues in order of importance to the both.

5) Clarify information and uncover hidden interests –

- While the issues are easily identified in most conflicts, the interests may be hidden.

- Addressing underlying needs is essential in resolving conflicts.

- What else is going on?

6) Generate and assess options for settlement –

- The people in the conflict create options that will meet their interests.

- These options must be assessed to see if they are practical and possible.

- These options must not only create a solution, they must include thoughts on how the solution would be put in place.

- Tunnel vision – they have invested so much time in their time, resources, and emotions in their position, it is difficult to leave it and move on to the resolution.

- Our role is to expand their vision – open up the tunnel – so that the alternative solutions are clear and easily accepted.

7) Bring closure and settlement –

- Constructive dialogue has identified issues and interests, creative solutions have been proposed, and now it is time for the individuals to decide whether they will accept a proposed solution, or continue the conflict.

- Acceptance or rejection.

We view outward behaviors as a symptom of deeper emotional and spiritual disorders. We believe that the surface problems that hinder our progress are only a result of the root causes within us. Once underlying spiritual issues are identified find the root causes, which are our internal adversaries and barriers, which are deeply rooted within our unconscious and subconscious mind, we can begin one by one identified, spiritual plan of action developed, process begins to be resolved by Grace Rational therapy. These hindrances have been designed to oppose us internally because of repetition and affirmation over prolonged periods of time.

The greatest battleground is within our mind because it is the spiritual sphere of rational activity and rational influence. The mind is bombarded with an atmospheric assault from the cosmic world (kosmos).

Cosmic deception

Prince of this world John 12:31; 14:30; 16:11

¨ The goal of Satan in the life of every believer

is to lead him astray (planao in the Greek).

¨ To take him on a journey of destruction from deception

¨ Intoxication – Wander (Living in abstract or irrational) “Taah” in the Hebrew

out of the way of understanding (rational insight) Proverbs 21:16

The entrance and path to the heart (leb: seat of courage) of man is his mind. Satan uses seducing spirits and demonic host to send vibrations to the mind of man to snare him into deceit, which also batters the mind. Everyone (saved and unsaved) is subject to unrelenting demonic attack. They ‘infiltrate’ this moral-spiritual dimension. Their strategy is to provoke, promote, aggravate, and instigate sinful desires and evil thoughts. In some situations where demons are involved, they are more of an effect of the problem than the root cause. The deceiver’s purpose is to make the spiritual sphere of rational activity and rational influence completely irrational.

Beelzebub (the Prince of Evil Spirits or the ruler of demons in Matthew 12:27) means "lord of the flies”.

Flies flock around wounds and so do demons. They try to use bitterness(frozen resentments) and unforgiveness to poison internal wounds much like a physical infection can poison outward wounds on a person’s body (Matthew 18:21-35).

The mind is also attacked by the flesh (i.e., the corrupt moral-spiritual dimension of fallen humanity).The need and desire for these behaviors will disappear.

Rational

  1. Having or exercising the ability to reason.
  2. Of sound mind; sane.

Doctrine – didaskalia In Greek – teaching of God’s mind precisely

  • The Rational Expression of God

The Theos: God

The Logos: Rational process of thought

The Rational Expression of God brings in illumination and personal deliverance. Illumination may be defined as the divine quickening of the human mind in virtue of which it is enabled to understand truth already revealed.” When you are teaching God’s mind (His Word) precisely you are instructing someone to think soundly in their mind. His word brings illumination. It does not reveal new truth, but makes the old truth understandable. Someone said, and I don’t know the source of this, “What light is to the Eye, illumination is to the mind.”

Illumination – "Being Convinced" to be persuaded – Romans 14:5 is Pherophoreo in the Greek means

1) Removes blindness in our mind

2) Gives insight

3) Prepares action in the will

We cannot live unto the position. The position must become a reality with in that is brought through our lives.

Positional truth: Positional truth unfolds to individuals the believers the present relationship to the government of the Trinity.

Life truth: Sets forth the believer’s present responsibility of the whole will of God

Our lives are full of unwelcome behaviors and overwhelming emotions. The fact that we still feel the pain from our past is not a sign of a failed relationship with God. The presence of the pain does not lessen the impact of the salvation in our lives. This is a signal that we need to begin the process of moment by moment healing. God will make the necessary healing and changes. To admit (face in reality) to pains and problems may seem to be a contradiction of our claim to salvation, but it is not. The bible is a masterpiece of men and women who struggled continually to overcome past mistakes and present temptations.

This Action-oriented approach to help people cope with problems and enhance their personal growth. We Place a good deal of its focus on the Present. Our currently-held attitudes, painful emotions and behaviors can sabotage a fuller experience of life. We provide people with an individualized set of proven techniques for helping them to solve problems with a variety of methods to help people reformulate their dysfunctional beliefs into more sensible, realistic and rational ones with Doctrine.

Much of our philosophy of life—what we think about ourselves and our values—is learned from past experiences. But the past is with us in the form of beliefs that we carry in our head in the present. Focus in on the beliefs that are harmful in our current emotional life and behavior—whether those beliefs arose in the distant reaches of our youth or within the past few weeks. Our past exerts its influence in our current-day thinking patterns and beliefs. Although we cannot change the past, we can change how we let the past influence the way we are today and the way we want to be tomorrow.

Doctrine helps restore the emotional balance in an individual’s life by providing methods for thinking more realistically and sound-minded about ourselves, other people, and the world. The quality of feelings that is important. Experiencing intense irritation and displeasure when things go wrong can motivate you to change frustrating conditions. Teach others and yourself to minimize debilitating emotions. This does not mean that it’s unhealthy to experience keen feelings of sorrow or displeasure when you experience misfortune. We empower individuals both by helping them more effectively handle their own painful emotions and by enabling them to have doctrine change their behavior and progress.

Doctrine illuminates (Removes blindness in our mind; Gives insight; Prepares action in the will) and provides people the skills and attitudes to become less selfish. Selfishness is often motivated by ego-gratification. Many selfish people tend to be very needy and demanding and are intent on getting what they want at any cost in order to feel good about themselves. The Word of God helps people to reduce their own neediness and specifically their need to prove themselves to others. Teaching them choose to accept themselves unconditionally; and then try to completely avoid globally rating themselves—meaning their totality or their "essence." We teach people to Enjoy rather than proving themselves in self-interest. Help people by teaching them to recognize and change those aspects of their thinking which are not sensible, accurate or useful.

We establish a helpful, supportive, and facilitative alliance with
people be cause we must realize we are at War with the Flesh (Self), demons, and the World system.
. We realize that not all people come to therapy ready for action and change, and that some people—because of their personalities and problems—require a great deal of support and empathy before they are ready to change. We help provide people as quickly as possible with the tools to help them change their beliefs leading to disturbing emotions, thus freeing them to confront their everyday problems with all their new found resources or the old ones not practically experienced.

Rom 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth (lives) no good thing (that is my sinful nature): for to will (desire) is present with me; but how to perform (carry out) that which is good I find not. (KJV)

We took control to protect ourselves, but the results frequently have ended uncontrollable and unreliable. We now don’t want to give up control and release ourselves from the torment. This now is a great opportunity to face reality and admit that our life is not working with us in control. We stop pretending, we admit that we can’t continue the illusion of control. The way we have managed our own lives brings us to this point. We prepare ourselves towards the walk of wholeness. Rational thoughts are whole thoughts. Whole thoughts makes wholesome living.

This may seem overwhelming to most of us until we begin to see our lives as they really are. It is threatening to realize could be uncontrollable. Our life experience testifies against us and reminds us that our behaviors did not produce peace.

Look at the Apostle Paul, he wrote about this matter clearly and proves the bible is true. He wrote about his uncontrollable life and behaviors as proof of his separation from God. Yet, his admission does not interfere with his commitment to do God’s will. Paul’s will got in the way with God’s will. This is part of the pride complex that is in every man. The pride of the old man that cries within us for his own will and works against us to frustrate God’s plan for us.

We have a culture that places a high value on individual accomplishment and success. Most of us from birth have been bombarded by our self the old sin nature, the devil, and the world system the ideal of high achievement. Being competitive is viewed by society as important. We are taught that if we compete hard enough we will be “winners” and, therefore good people. If, however we don’t measure up to what is expected of us we are losers, we believe of ourselves as failures. This combination creates a poor self-image. Due to the absence of good role models, during childhood, many of us are confused. We don’t know where we fit in. We continue to allow our worth and self-esteem to be determined by what we do and what others think about us, and not by who we are in Christ. We have conditioned ourselves to fail and learned anxiety from our much confused and misguided lives.

Surrender, we admit defeat and recognize that our obsessive traits manipulate the affairs of our lives to ease inner pain of our separation from God. Thus making our lives uncontrollable and will continue to be until we surrender our own will.

I believe that this process of mediation is a very complex and must be treated with the utmost care and consideration for all parties in crisis, dispute or we as counselors can cause more damage than when we have intended to bring healing. Therefore, this process of medication is not just a formula and must be looked at as adaptable for every diverse crisis in the realm of Family and Marriage counseling. I have enjoyed watching the precious Holy Spirit guide and direct the diverse times with His Amazing comfort. In the center turmoil, God the person of the Holy Spirit, provides comfort for numerous families devastated by conflict and crisis. We must not be in the way of an individual’s personal vertical walk with God because of our horizontal relationship as a pastor, counselor, or leader.

In Biblical counseling it is vital to remain the hands, feet, and heart of Christ. Meaning we are not to take the place of him in personal idolatry and allow our counselee’s to place upon a pedestal. The higher the pedestal the higher our fall will be and the greater the disappointments of those who placed us on the pedestal. In some cases, as pastors, counselors, and leaders we because of our great insecurity want the approbation of others place ourselves on a high pedestal. The only one that can be great is to be great servants anyone and everyone. Fully and intimately laboring to our Audience of One, our Master, and Lord. Seeking to be a servant keeps us small in our own eyes which can protect us against pride and haughtiness. The individual will again return to conflict if we take on a messiah complex and think we are their personal savior. We must allow the Holy Spirit to be the counselor and let him do the work in people’s lives. We are mere tools in the hands of a loving God that wants to minister harmony to those hurt in the turmoil of conflict and pain.

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Family and Marriage Counseling

counseling

The concept of “family” is vague and uncertain. While some still hold to the scriptural definition, or at least something akin to it, others have very different ideas. In the extreme cases, individuals believe it is all right to physically abuse or even to kill their own flesh and blood. Of course, the vast majority of us can see immediately that this is wrong. However, there are innumerable other ideas which are socially acceptable, yet fall far short of the scriptural pattern. The acceptance of these ideas has had disastrous results.

For example, many households contain only one parent. While in some cases this occurs through no fault of the remaining parent – for instance, when the spouse has died – in other cases, it is the result of the parents’ own decisions. This situation is not good for the children. Consider the following excerpt from a recent column in the Providence Journal:

“Nearly 75 percent of children without fathers spend part of their childhood in poverty. They are more than twice as likely as children from two-parent families to be held back in school and more than four times as likely to be expelled or suspended. They are likelier to die in infancy. Likelier to need treatment for psychiatric problems. Likelier to be injured in an accident, to score poorly on I.Q. tests, to abuse drugs, to become criminals, to commit suicide.”

“Above all, children born and raised out of wedlock are far more likely to get pregnant as teenagers and have children out of wedlock themselves – and thus to begin the cycle anew.”

These factors have an obvious and immediate financial consequence for society: paying for the drug rehabilitation, psychiatric treatment, larger police forces, court time, jail space, and of course the next generation of unwed mothers and their children. More devastating than the financial consequences, however, are the moral consequences.

The people living this lifestyle lose their sense of personal responsibility, dignity, and self-worth. (We are discussing here situations wherein children are intentionally or recklessly conceived out of wedlock.) They develop the attitude that the government ought to provide them their basic needs. On the other hand, those who work to support themselves, and thereby provide for the poor through paying taxes, begin to resent those who receive the help. Thus, we have different segments of society hating and resenting each other. Moreover, those who work begin to feel that the government owes them something, as well. They begin to look for more and more services and handouts from the government, driven by the selfish attitude that they ought to get some “return” on their “investment”. The result is a nation degraded by citizens who complain that they are not being given what they “deserve”. Rather than going out, working, saving, and sacrificing to earn what we want to have, as our parents and grandparents did, modern Americans wait for a handout or a big win at the lottery. Even as we live the most luxurious lives known to man, we wallow in self-pity because we do not have everything we want. This is not how God wants us to live; He loves us, and wants much better for us.

The single-parent arrangement is not the only one that leads to trouble: not by a long shot. Another example is the household wherein both parents are career professionals. Rather than being content to live a simple lifestyle, both parents are working full-time jobs outside of the home in order to gain more and more material wealth, or at least to maintain a more luxurious lifestyle than they otherwise could. So, rather than seeing a father who sacrifices to provide for his family, or a mother who sacrifices to nurture her children, the children instead see two parents who are in continual pursuit of material comfort and worldly pleasure. Is it any wonder if such children grow to be selfish and materialistic? Again, rather than coming home to a mother who teaches and guides him, the teenager comes home to the television, which shows him all manner of fornication and violence – in the most glamorous light. Alternatively, since there is no one home to know where he is, he just stays out and involves himself in violence and fornication – and intoxicants.

These are by no means the only problems, which modern American families make for themselves. The list goes will continue in America with out strong Biblical standards. However, this book is not intended to change society, but to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. The above examples are offered as illustrations, to show what happens when we do not follow God’s pattern for the family. As with all of God’s instructions, He designed the family with our best interests at heart. When we follow His ways, we not only have heaven to look forward to, we also live better lives here. This rationally seen when we consider the impact the modern American version of “family” has had upon our children.

 coupleupset01

Five Approaches to Family and Marriage Conflict:

1. Avoidance: The most commonly used style in conflict management, reflects the belief that it is impossible to both accomplish our personal goals and maintain relationships while in conflict. The basic strategy of avoidance is to withdraw, avoid, suppress, and deny the existence of conflict. The person using this style is unassertive, neither pursuing his or her own interests in the situation, nor supporting others in achieving theirs. Avoided conflict will typically resurface at some point, most likely with more intensity and greater potential for destruction that when first identified.

2. Accommodation: The accommodating response to conflict is characterized by a high concern for preserving relationship, even if it means conceding one’s own goals. Relationship is preserved with out conflict. The accommodating party may feel guilty if he or she causes conflict. Other reasons for choosing this approach include a high need for acceptance by others, and the belief that accommodation will allow those needs to be met. The person who uses the approach of accommodation accepts the burden of responsibility for maintaining the relationship. Accommodation can be effective and ineffective in approaching conflict.

3. Competition: The competitive, win-lose style of conflict management is characterized by very high concern for the achievement of pers

onal goals, even at the risk of damaging or destroying relationships. The person who uses this style may not desire harm to come to others, but he or she is willing to sacrifice almost anything to achieve personal objectives. People who employ this type of style do not always go head to head with opposition. Some times they work subversively. At other times they us the power of words to humiliate and weaken their opponents, until they finally bring them under control. As with avoidance and accommodation, the challenge is not to decide whether competition is good or bad but rather when to wisely choose to use it.

4. Compromise: The person with a compromising style of conflict management proposes the middle ground to others. It reflects some willingness to compete for particular resolution but also some accommodation of the relationship between the parties. This approach is based on the premise that no one can be fully satisfied, so all those involved must submit some of their personal desires to serve the good of both parties. The sense of compromise can have a negative connotation. Compromise can lead to half-hearted commitments and reoccurring conflicts under the guise of new issues. Compromise like avoidance, accommodation and competition, can be appropriately and inappropriately utilized.

5. Collaboration: The collaborative style combines a high concern for both people and objectives. Moving beyond the adversarial positions of conflict. Understanding the true needs of the parties and use a creative process to find a mutually –satisfying solution. Collaboration is not always possible or even desired. Collaboration holds great potential for those in conflict. The effects of the collaborative style are positive when it is consistently applied. Increased trust, stronger relationships, enthusiastic implementing of goals and higher resolution of conflicts are often achieved

home_left2

Crisis Intervention in Family and Marriage Counseling Conflict:

 

 

Crisis

  • A state of disharmony between incompatible persons, ideas, or interests; that clash.
  • A striking or dashing together.

Intervention:

  • Any interference that may affect the interests of others; especially, with the affairs of another; mediation.

In mediation of crisis or conflict we often encounter danger and opportunity. Instinctively we avoid places where disagreement is common or potential for conflict is high, because we sense danger in those places.

The Latin word for conflict “confligere” means to strike together. This gives us a mental picture of physical conflict escalating to the point where one person angrily strikes at another. The situation presents danger to the people involved in the conflict and those around them.

Conflict has been described as a situation in which the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible. Conflict also exists when two people try to occupy the same place a the same time. They violate personal boundaries.

Wherever there is conflict, there is the possibility that how it is handled (or not handled) will result in those involved.

In Marriage and Family Conflict the crisis are most apparent in our differences over facts, methods, values, and goals.

  • Conflict over facts: What we believe to be facts.
  • Conflict over the methods: Not only do we differ what should be done, but we experience great disagreement over how it should be carried out.
  • Conflict over values: just as a conflict can arise and result from a clash of incompatibility of different perspectives on facts, and methods, it also can result over different values. Values are those ideas, habits, customs, and beliefs that are characteristic of social communities.
  • Conflict over goals: conflict is a clash of perspectives as people express different goals.

There is a clash of different perspectives on facts, methods, values, and goals.

Also the conflict will reveal and reflect different attitudes and emotions:

· It is interpersonal: Closely connected with who we are as people.

· It is intrapersonal: Closely related with how we interact with each other.

· Conflict is capable of bringing to the surface unconstructive emotions that are irrational.

· Conflict presents an opportunity to change, to struggle, to grow to reflect God’s power of reconciliation in relationships.

Anybody that is conflict free is not experiencing growth… the important changes in us takes place with in the framework of struggle. 

yacrisisintervention

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

The Divine Commodity: Today many people choose churches like they choose groceries.

Reviewed by Skye Jethani

 Shopping for God

Shopping for God: How Christianity Went from in Your Heart to in Your Face
by James B. Twitchell
Simon & Schuster, 2007
336 pp., $17.99

grosschruch

It’s an eye-catching cover and snappy title: Shopping for God. But page one reads, "This book is not about God." The discrepancy between cover and content, between the pitch and the product, is what James Twitchell has built his career upon. A professor of advertising at the University of Florida, he knows even the most sacred things have been reduced to commodities in our consumer culture.

Twitchell is a self-confessed "cold Christian" and "apatheist," someone who cares little about his own faith. But he is interested in "how religious sensation is currently being manufactured, branded, packaged, shipped out, and consumed."

What can church leaders gain here? A lot. Most of what we read about ministry leadership, outreach, and management is infused with a heavy dose of spiritual language—including the content of this fine journal. Twitchell propels the pendulum the other way. By removing God language, he asserts that most of what we assume to be fueled by divine power may actually be the result of market forces.

For example, based on research he says, "Chances are that if you go to your church and see a hymnal or a pew Bible in the rack in front of you, you are seeing the end of your church in the distance."

Commenting on mainline churches where over half the members are women over 60, Twitchell writes, "As any advertiser will tell you, when you see this demographic, you are not looking down the barrel, you have already swallowed the bullet."

With the precision of an academic and the wit of a humorist, Twitchell covers both historical and contemporary church issues. Like, how has the First Amendment impacted church competition? And even the origins of the ubiquitous altar call and church sign with movable type. He explains how the largest churches thrive by appealing to men.

Perhaps most helpful is Twitchell’s explanation of the economic concepts of branding. He writes, "While thinking about believers as customers seems almost too vulgar, thinking about consumers as believers is precisely what modern marketing is all about." Purchases determine identity. Church leaders can’t afford to ignore the effects of living in a consumer culture. Today, the way people choose a church is almost the same as how they shop for groceries.

In 1955 only 4 percent of people moved away from the church of their parents. In 1980 it was 30 percent. Today it’s 50 percent. According to Twitchell, "Religion is a choice pretending to be a calling." And the fastest growing denominations are those focused on selling their product (via outreach) because "The value of the next sale (the convert) proves the value of the previous sale (yours)."

No discussion of the American church scene would be complete without an exploration of the megachurch phenomenon. This is where Twitchell provides his most irreverent but eye-opening analysis. In a chapter titled, "The Megachurch: ‘If You are Calling about a Death in the Family, Press 8,’" he chronicles how just 10 churches drawing more than 2,000 people in 1970 has mushroomed to over 1,200 megachurches today. At the same time, 50 small churches a week are closing their doors.

With a chicken and egg argument, Twichell writes, "Megas concentrate on what makes the brand powerful: growth. What you sell is the perception that whatever it is that you are selling is in demand."

But Shopping for God ends on an ominous note: "Slowly but surely ‘this is not your father’s church’ is well on its way to becoming your father’s church" not only because the next generation won’t accept the mega brand, but also because the "pastorpreneurs" that launched them are mavericks, impossible to replace. The same market forces that created the megachurch may ultimately be its undoing.

Shopping for God is an illuminating and entertaining read, but be forewarned: Twitchell is not seeking to encourage pastors, and his irreverence will certainly bother you at times. But if you are looking for an outsider’s perspective, and if you have a thicker skin than most, I highly recommend his book.

Satisfaction is guaranteed.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.

 Leadership Journal.
Winter 2008, Vol. XXIX, No. 1, Page 101

Celebrate Recovery: THE TWELVE STEPS AND THEIR BIBLICAL COMPARISONS

This has been a referral that our Young Adult Crisis Hotline uses on numerous occasions daily. We have had great feed back on every referral who responds to our follow-up calls.  The referrals have commented that the meetings are non-judgmental and that they are greeted with open arms. I have been so personally impressed with Celebrate Recovery, personal investment and love of individuals. Therefore, I would highly recommend a local meeting in your area if you are in the midst of crisis because of life controlling problems. God Bless.

THE TWELVE STEPS AND THEIR BIBLICAL COMPARISONS

 

STEP 1
We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

STEP 2
We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13
STEP 3
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1
STEP 4
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40

STEP 5
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16a

STEP 6
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:10
STEP 7
We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

STEP 8
We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

STEP 9
We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

STEP 10
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 1 Corinthians 10:12

STEP 11
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.
Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. Colossians 3:16a
STEP 12
Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Galatians
6:1

http://www.purposedriven.com/en-US/CelebrateRecovery/CR+Home+Page.htm

www.celebraterecovery.com

 

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Personal Development

Considering no one is perfect it is fair to say that there is always room for improvement. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and areas in which we can improve.  Begin using these 25 winning principles for personal development to see real change right away.

1. Set goals for yourself.
2. Commit your goals to paper.
3. Expect to be successful.
4. Ask for what you want.
5. Be decisive.
6. Accept responsibility for your life and your actions.
7. Proactively seek opportunities to learn and grow.
8. Make it a point to learn from key experiences.
9. Seek the lesson in any failures, mistakes, and setbacks.
10. Look for the good in every situation.
11. Seek feedback.
12. Accept constructive criticism.
13. Adapt to changes.
14. Find ways to Effectively manage stress.
15. Balance work, ministry, personal, and family life.
16. Work effectively with little or no supervision or direction.
17. Meet commitments.
18. Face fears and challenges head on.
19. Believe in yourself.
20. Refuse to compromise.
21. Follow and trust your intuition.
22. Be confident.
23. Be persistent and never give up.
24. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive, forget, and let go.
25. Go the extra mile.

 

Throughout the entire addiction industry, there is a belief that addiction is an incurable disease; "Once and addict, always an addict." This belief results in a life-long attempt to manage the addiction rather than seek to permanently cure it. The mental health industry goes as far as to treat the surface effects of addiction through psychotropic medication rather than the root causes. The Bible teaches that the sins of the fathers are passed down to their generations. This supports the idea that the curse and disease of sin can be passed down. However, Christ b

ecame a curse on the cross in order to redeem us from the curse and healed "all manner of disease."  We believe that a recovering addict is a new creation in Christ and has no need to confess that they are current addicts, rather former addicts.The new birth has made them new. Therefore state a new creation position usually translates into new creation living as a new creation. The greatest war is over a individuals mind. How an individual personally thinks in their mind about their identity. This most of the time reveals what is happening internally and who they belong to. The son or daughter of a King can claim by right the Kingdom of his Sovereign. We are when saved translated into the Kingdom of Christ from the kingdom of Darkness.

Text: Hebrews 10:10-14, "By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. 11And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: 12But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God; 13From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool. 14For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified."

Every person who has trusted Jesus Christ as his or her personal Savior has been positionally sanctified by the death of Christ on the cross. But our personal and experienced sanctification is an on-going process in our daily lives. We are continually being sanctified by the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. He is in the process of growing and maturing our Christian lives. How this process works has been long debated. Some suggest that we can and must be sinlessly perfect in this life before we can enter Heaven.

Others confuse the doctrine of salvation with the doctrine of sanctification. In salvation, we have been positionally made holy by Jesus Christ. We stand before God "complete" in the righteousness of Christ. In sanctification, we are continually being made holy in our personal lives, by the indwelling Spirit of God who lives within us.

In order to understand how we grow into spiritual maturity and holiness, let’s consider the biblical distinctions regarding sanctification and spiritual perfection.

THE CONCEPT OF PERFECTION

In the Word of God, perfection is presented in several ways

(1) Perfection describes Godliness. The word in the Old Testament has the meaning of "sincere" and "upright." Noah was "perfect" (Gen. 6:9, "These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God."); Job was "perfect" (Job. 1:1, 8, "There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil."… "And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?")


In avoiding the sins of the nations, Israel was to be "perfect" (Deut. 18:13, "Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God."); So, also, the saints of the Old Testament order will appear in heaven as "the spirits of just men made perfect" (Heb. 12:23, "To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,"). The Bible does not teach that these people were sinless. They were upright and godly, but they were not sinless.


(2) Positional perfection is permanent. "For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified" (Heb. 10:14). This is clearly the perfection of the work of Christ for us and not our work for Him. We are made "perfect" in Him and by Him.


(3) Personal perfection is progressive. "Are ye so foolish having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?" (Galatians 3:3). We are not saved by works, nor do we become perfect by our works. Rather, our outward behavior is a barometer of our inward spiritual maturity. We are continually being perfected as we mature spiritually.


(4) Perfection involves completeness. "That ye stand perfect and complete in all the will of God" (Colossians 4:12). "Make you perfect in every good work" (Hebrews 13:21). "But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect [mature] and entire, wanting nothing" (James 1:4). God has begun a good work in us and He will continue to do it until He takes us home to heaven.


(5) Our ultimate perfection is in Heaven. Only in heaven will be sinlessly perfect. The word "perfection" as found in the New Testament is a translation from either one of two Greek words, one meaning "mature" and the other meaning "adjusted." And it is obvious that neither of these words has any reference to sinlessness. The Holy Spirit sanctifies us and delivers us from the Wrath of God. He also changes us as we become more and more like Christ in our daily lives. Only when we get to heaven will we have glorified bodies so that we cannot sin. Only then will we be sinlessly perfect.


THE DOCTRINE OF SANCTIFICATION

This doctrine is based on the use of the word "sanctify." The root meaning of "sanctify," "saint" and "holy" is that a person or thing is thereby said to be set apart unto God. The Bible makes it clear that believers are the objects of a three-fold sanctification:

First, Positional sanctification.

"But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us…sanctification" (1 Corinthians 1:30); "By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all" (Hebrews 10:10). Thus, also the Apostle addresses all believers as "saints," and in the Scriptures reference is made to "holy prophets," "holy brethren," "holy priests," "holy women," "holy nation." Such they are by their position in Christ. He even addressed the Corinthian believers as "saints" and as already "sanctified" (I Corinthians 1:2; 6:11); yet this very letter was written to correct those Christians because of sin in their lives. They were "saints" and "sanctified" in Christ, but were far from being such in daily life.

Second, Experimental sanctification.

This aspect of the work of God for the believer is progressive in some of its aspects, and is quite in contrast to the positional sanctification which is "once for all." It is accomplished by the power of God through the Spirit and through the Word: "Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth" (John 17:17). Experimental sanctification in every c

ase is progressive. It should in no way be confused with incomplete yieldedness to God or incomplete victory over sin. Its meaning is that the knowledge of truth, devotion and experience are naturally subject to development By virtue of our present development, as Christians, believers experimentally are set apart unto God. That development should be advanced with each passing day by applying the spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting, meditation, and worship.

Third, Ultimate sanctification.

Even experimental sanctification will be perfected when the saints are gathered into His presence in glory. I John 3:2 says, "When He shall appear, we shall be like him," and Romans 8:29 says, "conformed to the image of his Son"

PRACTICAL TRUTHS ABOUT SANCTIFICATION.

The Bible teaching in regard to sanctification, then, is:

(1) that all believers are positionally sanctified in Christ "once for all" at the moment they are saved. This sanctification is as perfect as He is perfect.

(2) All believers are being sanctified by the power of God through the Word and this sanctification is as perfect as the believer is perfect.

(3) All believers will be sanctified and perfected. This will occur in Heaven when we are conformed into the very image of the Son of God. The believer must consciously rely on the Spirit, to change his fallen sinful nature over which he, of himself, has no sufficient control. The Christian is saved and safe in the grace of God; but he cannot command himself into a God-honoring manner of life. For this he must rely upon divine power in order that he may be saved from the power of sin, as he has already relied on the power of God to save him from the penalty of sin. God loves us so much that He sanctifies us by the power of His indwelling Spirit. In this process He continually conforms us into the "image of Christ." That is, He makes us more and more like Christ as time goes on. God saves our souls, transforms our hearts, sanctifies our minds and changes our lives. In the end, He makes us ready for heaven by changing our lives here on earth.

 

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Family & Recovery

mainPicfamily recovery

What is an addiction?

There are many, many definitions of addiction. Most definitions share three characteristics:

1) A person feels compelled to participate in a particular behavior,

2) This behavior disconnects the person from their life, relationships and work, and

3) Faced with negative consequences of this behavior, a person is unable to stopped the behavior.

There is one significant difference between someone who is addicted and someone who is not. When an addicted person has a problem due to his addictive behavior, he doesn’t change his addictive behavior.

                     Addiction in the Family        

enable

What is enabling?

Enabling is doing for others what they are capable of doing for themselves. When we enable addicts, we prevent them from experiencing the consequences of their own actions. When we do this, we discourage them from learning from their own mistakes which, in turn, prevents them from realizing they have a problem.

The addict has made addiction their whole life. The normal, natural things every person needs to learn have been put aside. When we continue to reach in and do even the simple things for people we love, how will they learn to do for themselves?

How do we enable?

We enable addicts by doing things such as:

  • Paying their bills, making car payments, covering bounced checks, paying bail, paying traffic tickets;
  • Making excuses for their behavior, changing appointments, calling employers on absenteeism, writing late or absentee excuses to schools, covering up for missed family functions;
  • Providing the addict with money, clothing, housing and food;
  • Caring for the addict’s family by allowing them to live with us, taking their children to school, babysitting, etc.

What does enabling do for us?

Enabling gives us a false sense of control. We do what society tells us a "good" father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter or friend should do, but we are not getting the results we desire. We feel frustrated and resentful. Because the addict’s behavior does not change, we think we have failed.

Our actions, done with the best of intentions, have back-fired. We have not helped the addicted. The addicted is farther away from accepting their hopelessness and personal responsibility

What is the difference between helping and enabling?

We need to look deep inside ourselves to determine the difference between helping and enabling. "How do I feel when I offer my help? What’s in it for me?" Checking your motives will help you decide when you are truly helping or when you are enabling.

Can you enable an addict (or anyone) who is not using?

We can enable anyone, using or not. Our enabling behavior patterns are not directed solely toward the addict and/or the addict’s sobriety. Enabling deprives anyone of experiencing the consequences of their own behavior to have personal responsibility.

Remember, when taking personal responsibility for our own behavior each one of us must find our own path. Experience teaches us that it is useless to lay out a path for someone else to follow. We must each make our own way to our goal.

When we enable, we put other people’s needs before our own.

Here are a few ways that addiction impacts a family.

title01

Addicted parents are distracted.

Let’s face it. An addicted person is much more interested in their addiction than they are with almost anything else. Children need attention and care from their parents. If a parent’s attention is focused on something other than the child, the child might never get the care he or she needs to develop a healthy sense of self. Further, human predators (sexual and physical abusers, pornographers, kidnappers, etc.) prey almost primarily on children whose parents are distracted. Further, distracted parents are less likely to notice the change in their children after a human predator has hurt them.

An addict uses up family resources.

Often when a person becomes addicted, the family rallies to help the addict get back on track. They might pay for alcohol and drug treatment and attorneys to clean up the wreckage created by the addiction. They might spend month’s worrying, caring, and attempting to help their family member “recover”. Still, every family has finite resources and addiction is not s

omething that is easily solved. More times than not, as the addict works through their individual recovery including multiple relapses, legal involvement, loss of work or what ever path his addiction takes. Eventually, a family’s resources – including money, patience, kindness and time – are used up. In the meantime, as the family focuses on rescuing an addicted person, family resources are taken from other children, siblings and relationships. This leaves children without their parent’s attention, siblings disconnected from sibling support, and parents separated from each other. Families, who use all their resources helping the addict, are left with only exhaustion, frustration and financial strain.

For every addict there is a codependency.

Co-dependent people are the nicest people you will ever meet. They are giving and loving. In fact, that’s the problem. A co-dependent person will give of himself/herself until all of his/her personal resources are gone. Often he/she will change himself/herself to become what he/she believes you want him/her to be. Inside, a co-dependent person usually feels invisible, unworthy and completely alone. He/She might believe that he/she will only be loved for what he/she does, instead of who he/she is. HE/She will then exhaust himself/herself doing and never understand if someone loves him/her. His/Her internal world is filled with resentment, self-loathing, shame and anxiety. At his/her worst, he/she must control every person, place and thing in his/her life.

Who becomes co-dependent?

Children and families of addicts.

Playing a role for life

Addicted families organize around addiction. Children know to look for their parents at the bar. Wives work to support their alcoholic husbands. Husbands buy drugs to keep their addicted wives “happy”. Children who grow up in alcoholic and addicted families learn to behave in predictable roles to keep the family functioning. Addicted family roles include: the scapegoat, little parent, hero, mascot, chief enabler, and lost child.

Most children, who grow up playing one of these family roles, continue in that role as adults. Children who played the role of mascot become adults who struggle for someone to take them seriously. Many family heroes get to the end of medical school, law school or business school and wonder “Is this all there is?”. The child who is the family scapegoat will grow up to be scapegoated at work. Lost children often disappear from families never to return. And little parents often choose not to have children, significant relationships or long term work because they are exhausted from raising their siblings.

These roles are most often seen in the workplace because we tend to recreate our childhood environments at work. Lost children are usually the people who get “forgotten” on their birthday and overlooked for promotions. The work hero is the person who strives to be the very best employee the company has ever had. While the mascot’s ideas are never taken seriously, he does continue to facilitate fun and games. Of course, the little parent sends around birthday cards and arranges the work picnic. We have all seen the chief enabler working late, never saying “no” and facilitating even the most unreasonable deadline. Remember that guy that “needed to be fired” so that everyone else’s job was better? Well, after he was fired, someone else took his place as the scapegoat. It happens every time.

Children of alcoholics and addicts will continue to act out their family role as adults. If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, you are probably continuing to act out your childhood role as an adult. This only leads to disrupted relationships, difficulties at work and long term unhappiness. Further, many people suffer and stay stuck rather than shift their family role.

How to heal

Addicted families have their own set of problems. In order to heal, you must first acknowledge the addiction. Talk with your family. Other family members may be ready to talk about it.

Look at your childhood family role. Are you continuing to act that out? These roles were very adaptive when you were a child growing up in an alcoholic or addicted household. Playing your role helped you fit into the family and survive. As an adult, this role is no longer necessary or helpful.

Once you have acknowledged that you are playing a role, it is important to learn and understand why you are playing this particular role. Spend some time reviewing material about addicted family roles. Use your journal to write about the disadvantages of playing one of these roles and the advantages to not being authentic. Look at your extended family. What other roles do people play? Who plays a role similar to yourself?

Some prefer to adopt the motto “Never look back.” Others cling to the past or use it as an excuse for today’s dramas. This can be good or bad, depending on the situation.

Though often unrealized, help for codependency, alcohol and drug addiction should many time be a family affair. As people read through the addiction family roles presented they can often identify the person in their life who plays each role. Roles though present in situations without addiction, often become more apparent when an addict is present. Members will unknowingly take on specific stereotypes that can many times be classified as:

The Addict.
The Hero.
The Mascot.
The Lost Child.
The Scapegoat.
The Caretaker (Enabler).

The following information on each role, defines how many people are instructed when taking basic steps to begin overcoming roles individually. Each role is given a brief description for understanding one basis of family addiction recovery. A summary follows with information on how and why the roles lead to codependency. In a more functioning household, children often move fluidly between roles. When a parent is addicted to alcohol or drugs, the entire family is set up around the addict and their addiction. Children tend to follow designated roles as the family acts out the drama of addiction. Children develop these roles due to family dynamics. For a child in an addicted household, he or she will usually only fulfill one role. The parents and family will not acknowledge any behavior outside this family role.

FRC2

                                Family Role’s

So what are addicted family roles?

They are:

Addiction and the Family Role 1, The Addict

The person with the addiction is the center, and though the key to alcohol and drug addiction recovery, not necessarily the most important in family recovery. The "world" revolves around this person, causing the addict to become the center of attention. As the roles are defined, the others unconsciously take on the rest of the roles to complete the balance after the problem has been introduced. Recovery many times on this person.

Addiction and the Family Role 2, The Hero

The Hero is the one who needs to make the family, and role players, look good. They ignore the problem and present things in a positive manner as if the roles within the family did not exist. The Hero is the perfectionist. If they overcome this role they can play an important part in the addiction recovery process.

The underlying feelings are fear, guilt, and shame. Hero. This child fulfills the family values. If the family values emphasize the need for advanced education and careers, this child can be the perfect student. If the family values are criminal in nature, this child can become a professional criminal. Addicted parents often brag about the hero child.

Inside, the hero feels tremendous pressure to achieve. It feels as if the entire family is depending on them to be successful. They will often put aside their needs in order to achieve. This child is particularly vulnerable to addiction due to the disconnection from himself/herself.

Addiction and the Family Role 3, The Mascot

The Mascot’s role is that of the jester. They will often make inappropriate jokes about the those involved. Though they do bring humor to the family roles, it is often harmful humor, and they sometimes hinder addiction recovery.

The underlying feelings are embarrassment, shame, and anger. Mascot. This is the fun and funny child. They are the life of the party. In fact, many family occasions cannot begin until the mascot arrives. The mascot child often “lights up” the room.

Inside, the mascot is terrified of family conflict. This child feels responsible for everyone getting along and will often intercede in family arguments with jokes to distract from the argument. While popular in school, this child struggles with any form of intimate relationship due to their fear of conflict.

Addiction and the Family Role 4, The Lost Child

The Lost Child is the silent, "out of the way" family member, and will never mention alcohol or recovery. They are quiet and reserved, careful to not make problems. The Lost Child gives up self needs and makes efforts to avoid any conversation regarding the underlying roles.

The underlying feelings are guilt, loneliness, neglect, and anger.

This is the forgotten child. The lost child is often left places or otherwise forgotten. In turn, this child becomes involved in their own world of books, fantasy or television. A lost child may have an entire world filled with friends and activities that the family knows nothing about.

Inside, the lost child feels very sad and alone. She is invisible to almost everyone in the family. Often, in adulthood, the lost child may completely disconnect from the family literally creating her own world.

Addiction and the Family Role 5, The Scapegoat

The Scapegoat often acts out in front of others. They will rebel, make noise, and divert attention from the person who is addicted and their need for help in addiction recovery. The Scapegoat covers or draws attention away from the real problem.

The underlying feelings are shame, guilt, and empty. o Scapegoat. This is the

problem child; the child who absorbs the family conflict. As a young child, the scapegoat might be blamed for things that he has not control over. This teaches the child that they will be in trouble no matter what they do. Therefore, by adolescence, the scapegoat acts out the family anger through aggressive acts, criminal behavior and difficulties in school. This child seems to always be in trouble.

Inside, the scapegoat feels hopeless and trapped. There is very little this child can do without getting into trouble. The scapegoat believes that something is significantly wrong with him.

Addiction and the Family Role 6, The Caretaker (Enabler)

The Caretaker (Enabler) makes all the other roles possible. They try to keep everyone happy and the family in balance, void of the issue. They make excuses for all behaviors and actions, and never mention addiction recovery or getting help. The Caretaker (Enabler) presents a situation without problems to the public.

The underlying feelings are inadequacy, fear, and helplessness.

As with any recovery, it is sometimes necessary and helpful to gather information, to better understand what others are seeing or feeling. For a family, information and help must be sought for the whole family before the recovery can be complete. Information and understanding may be all that are necessary to bring about recovery, but a specialist might also be necessary, since there may be grief and loss to overcome in the process. The quiz section outlines some of the negative effects roles have and leads into codependency.

The chief enabler is person who makes the addict’s life work. They generally absorb the consequences of the addict’s behavior. While the chief enabler is usually the other parent, it is not uncommon to have children fulfilling this role by working jobs to provide for the family, buying drugs or alcohol for the addicted parent, and enabling the addict to continue in his or her addiction.

Inside, the chief enabler feels very out of control. Their life revolves around the addict and the addict’s behavio
r. Because the chief enabler lives in response to another person, they are unable to live out their own wishes and dreams.

Addiction and the Family Role 6, Little Parent

This child usually functions as a surrogate parent. While the parent is immersed in their addiction, the little parent may take on the parenting of younger children and sometimes begin to parent the parents.

Inside the little parent feels overburdened by the responsibilities they have been given. While they gain esteem from the love they give and receive, they miss opportunities to be children themselves.

Addiction and the Family Roles – A Short Quiz

Healthy Family System:

Self worth is high.
Communication is direct, clear, specific and honest and feelings are expressed.
Rules are human, flexible and appropriate to change.
It is natural to link and be open to society.
Each person has goals and plans to get there, and should be supported by the family.

Rules in a dependent or addicted family

Dependents use of drug is the most important thing in a family life.
Drug use in not the cause of family problems, it is denial which is the root.
Blaming others, don’t make mention of it, covering up, alibis, loyalty of family enables.
Nobody may discuss problem outside the family.
Nobody says what they feel or think.

If the second set of rules describes your family, please continue.

Family Roles Lead to Codependency

Addiction and the Family Roles How the They lead to Codependency

The parts played by family members lead to codependency. Members make decisions concerning what the other person needs. Codependency leads to aversion and lack of self orientation in a situation where an addiction is present. Ultimately people "become" the part they are playing.

The goal in alcohol and drug addiction recovery is to bring each member as a whole into a situation where the problems can be dealt with. Individual talents and abilities should be integrated into the situation, allowing emotional honesty about the situation, without guilt or punishment.

The overall goal in overcoming codependency is to make each person whole. That wholeness is only truly found in accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.

People become familiar with and dependent on the role they play in families. In overcoming the family roles, you will begin to overcome issues, and what could be classified as the addiction to the role. While the conquering of the substance is important to the person with the addiction. A point to remember is the substance(s) is not the key to family recovery, removing the underlying roles are.

In beginning recovery, each family member must become proactive against the addiction to the role, and learn to become their true self. The goal is for each to person to become independent, and then approach the substance addiction recovery as a group of individuals, rather than as people playing a part. Whole, independent people can freely contribute to the recovery of the person overcoming the addiction, while a person playing a part can only perform the role.

Starting Points:

Begin with yourself.
Find, and write a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
Build on what you have.
Let go of trying to be perfect and realize all people have some weaknesses.

A true person utilizes strengths, while building up their weaknesses.

Addiction recovery for the co-dependent role, is tough. You must be personally honest and decide what you like or dislike. This may be as simple as defining how you wish things were, without playing the part, and adding support or friends in areas, or as encompassing as rethinking the path of your life.

Refraining from forcing yourself to engage in activities, because of the codependency, is important to successful recovery from the addiction. There are many resources for co-dependent roles and overcoming these roles. Please, be honest in deciding if you have an addiction to a specific role in a relationship and find resources to help you in your recovery.

As you begin to understand, breaking the family role should become easier. Remember to be understanding of others also.

How much a family is affected by a substance use problem depends on how long they have lived with it, how advanced it is, how much shame and secrecy surround it, and the roles and responsibilities of the person with the disorder. If the problem is left untreated, family members will also develop destructive behaviors, such as denial, enabling, and co-dependency.

Because certain behaviors become routine, you may have trouble seeing how unhealthy they are, and how they contribute to the problem.

DENIAL

Denial occurs when family members do not recognize, or refuse to admit, that substance use is causing serious health, work, school, relationship, or financial problems. Family members are prone to denial about how serious the problem is, how it has "spread" through the family and affected family relationships, and how they themselves may contribute to the problem. As addiction in the family becomes more severe, the family’s denial may also, until the truth becomes so obvious and the crises so dramatic that denial doesn’t work anymore.

ENABLING

Enabling includes behaviors by family members that allow people with substance use problems to avoid the negative consequences of their actions. It can include many things, such as:

  • collecting money from family and friends to pay the person’s bills.
  • repeatedly covering up for someone at work.
  • moving someone when they pass out in the living room.
  • staying silent in the face of repeated inappropriate or destructive behavior.

Enabling can be done by parents, siblings, co-workers, supervisors, neighbors, friends, teachers, doctors, or therapists. Although enabling begins as a way to protect the person from harm, the enabler eventually becomes part of the problem.

CODEPENDENCY

Like enabling, the term co-dependency refers to being over-involved in another person’s life, having a preoccupation with other people’s behavior and a sense of guilt when not tending to the other person’s needs. the "rules of codependency" as the following:

  • It’s not OK for me to feel.
  • It’s not OK for me to have problems
  • It’s not OK for me to have fun.
  • I’m not lovable
  • I’m not good enough.
  • If people act bad or crazy, I’m responsible.

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

 

References:

http://www.hopelinks.net/

What is Personal Responsibility?

 

03-PS21-1~Responsibility-Posters

Developing Personal Responsibility

Though adoption of Christ

Titus 2:11-12

(The below emphasis comes from the Greek translations and root Translations)

After all, God’s saving Grace (unmerited favor of saving kindness and life of Who God is, what He has performed past , present, and in the future will perform in the Constance of God’s Character and Nature) has appeared (BRINGS TO LIGHT,revealed) for the benefit (deliverance, freedom, emancipation, liberation, release, rescue, recovery, salvation, of all people (everyone). It trains (re-patterns, re-parents, instructs, rationally mentally convinced) us to avoid (say “NO” to, turn our minds from, forsake, renounce) godless (self-indulgent) lives filled with worldly(cosmic, corrupt, earthly torments hostile to God) desires (pleasures, passions) so that we can live soberly(sensible, Rationally GOD-controlled, discrete, the rational expression of God’s mind which changes our mind from irrational to rational thinking), justly (uncorrupted integrity, Honest, and authentic, transparent), and (in a way that shows that we are serving a Living God) godly (spiritually whole and uprightly though Christ-like righteousness) lives in this present world (age, time).

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WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE GOD’S RELATIVE?

You may be asking yourself WHY we are talking about being GOD’S RELATIVE when the topic is personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is directly connected to our Adoption from God. If our paths to personal responsibility are rooted in self, it will lead to self-reliance, independence, self-preoccupation, behavior-modification, self-righteousness, self- assurance, religion (man’s attempt to please God) and eventually pride or idolatry. When we depend, yield, and surrender to God’s adoption we become interdependent. Our new God given Adoption is the basis of our responsibility. It becomes personal because of our new nature birthed within us from God.

Adoption is not a work of grace only in us, but an act of God’s grace without us.

The Grace of God is who God is, and what He has done past, present, future, the every sided unalterable character and nature of God. Many times we want to alter the Grace, Character and Nature of God to our own understanding in relativism. We want to create it in our own image. This then becomes idolatry. Where we worship the one side of His Grace and alter the image of who God is and what He has done. We create our own side of Grace instead accepting the every sided grace.

1 John 9 times john called us little children

Romans 8 He calls us his adopted children, belonging to the Father.

Hebrews 12:6, 7, 10 We see the side of the father who loves and wants the best for us so much to the degree to by Grace teaches us because true love will take that risk.. He is not willing to give us a one sided message of altered Grace.

The grace of God is who God is and what he has done: the attributes of God that flow with one another in a constant circle and won’t contradict each other. The Grace of God is God’s name that flows to our cup (capacity) and overflows to others.

He paideuo (pahee-dyoo’-o) us…. By training, instruction, caring discipline, which causes one to learn, like a loving daddy would instruct his child. He moulds our character. The stairway to character in one stair at a time! We are taught to learn.

He pours himself (His Name) into our cup of our capacity and re-parents us. Often grace is misapplied to focus upon the outward behavior of an individual, Grace really goes much deeper into the internal problems where people are bound in sin and have no capacity to on their own change. This is what Grace does; it gives us new capacity that allows God to re-parents us.

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The new interwoven internal capacity that allows God to re-parents us can only be clearly understood when we realize what the Grace message is not:

1) The Grace message is not, we can continue to pervert our body. We can continue to destroy our capacity and devastate our future.

2) The Grace of God does not stand idly by letting us live like a whore leaving us in a cesspool of sin …..Watching us prostitute our life to worldliness and the devil’s will for our life.

3) Grace does not condone, excuse, or overlook our personal sin and behaviors, because that would be sin. This same grace will meet the sinner and will re-parents the sinner to new lines of thinking in Psalm 16:6 and Eph 4:23. He by training, instruction, caring discipline, and causes one to learn like a loving father would instruct his child with new impulses, new mind, and new paths. He wants to work much deeper on the inside.

God wants to have Fatherhood (daddy’s) love for his dear children. Grace never kills an individual’s personal capacity, it causes healing and deliverance internally. A bone that has been crushed and broken needs to be cast and healed in a process. Sometimes the bone needs to be set and re-broken to heal properly inwardly. This is the grace proce

ss. The bone is broken inwardly and needs repair not only outwardly but also inwardly.

If you alter this message of the unalterable Grace of God it then becomes idolatry. We worship the one side of his Grace and alter the image of who He is and what he has done. We side with a one sided message. The same Grace that meets me and accepts me just as I am is that same Grace that does not condones, excuses, or overlooks me to be devastated by my own choices. When you worship one side of his Grace and alter the true image of Grace you enter into Jude 4…….. Lasciviousness: preaching a form of Godliness shamefully with no power.

Time and time again parents and young adults, ask me why? Many times some young adults develop their relationship with God horizontally only and not vertically. We cannot be their relationship with God. They have to let their heavenly daddy personally re-parent them.

Choices belong to us, consequences belong to God

· Heaven was a perfect environment and Lucifer fell with a 1/3 of the angels.

· The garden was a perfect environment and man fell.

· No church is a perfect environment, it is a wonderful environment.

· We cannot blame our environment.

The broken lives and countless young people are being healed and reconstructed daily by our ministry. We have numerous success stories of young people that have come through the valley and in the end have thanked God for the valley.

Responsibility

Developing Personal Responsibility

Titus 2:11-12

(The below emphasis comes from the Greek translations and root Translations)

After all, God’s saving Grace (unmerited favor of saving kindness and life of Who God is, what He has performed past , present, and in the future will perform in the Constance of God’s Character and Nature) has appeared (BRINGS TO LIGHT,revealed) for the benefit (deliverance, freedom, emancipation, liberation, release, rescue, recovery, salvation, of all people (everyone). It trains (re-patterns, re-parents, instructs, rationally mentally convinced) us to avoid (say “NO” to, turn our minds from, forsake, renounce) godless (self-indulgent) lives filled with worldly(cosmic, corrupt, earthly torments hostile to God) desires (pleasures, passions) so that we can live soberly(sensible, Rationally GOD-controlled, discrete, the rational expression of God’s mind which changes our mind from irrational to rational thinking), justly (uncorrupted integrity, Honest, and authentic, transparent), and (in a way that shows that we are serving a Living God) godly (spiritually whole and uprightly though Christ-like righteousness) lives in this present world (age, time).

Personal Responsibility is often associated with a place to be helped with some kind of problem or addiction such as drinking, drugs, pornography, or some other life-controlling issue, self-defeating behavior, or unwelcomed character traits. Yes, this is can be a principle venue; however, the emphasis should be our spiritual growth which infuses our irrational thinking, which stimulates unwelcomed behaviors, therefore changes our irrational thinking to a rational thinking re-patterned to Christly mind which helps in overcoming. It is not about just overcoming; it is being overcome with Christ as Lord of our minds through the rational expression of God’s Mind (Living Word of God). We can always wrestle with our temptations through our own efforts, but we might as well be Jacob wrestling with God (Gen. 32). We will succeed as long as God allows and as long as Satan allows. Thus, we must flee from him to be in God’s mind and thought (James 4:7-10)!

Effective Personal Responsibility has the emphasis on building quality and deep relationships that will help us with the following (1 Thess. 5:14 Col. 3:16 Heb. 3:13 Prov. 25:12; 27:17):

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As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

· Adhering ourselves to God’s Word and call!

· Learning to commune with God more deeply so we can respond to His precepts more rapidly and thoroughly.

· Prayer that is not just about our personal needs but also with the needs of others!

· Reigniting our passion for Christ!

· Becoming teachable, and our thinking and behaviors examined!

· Being willing to recognize sin both in our lives and in the lives of others, as well!

· Being willing to learn about ourselves!

· Being willing to have healing in our lives!

· Being willing to see the needs of others!

· Being willing to overcome, and to be on guard concerning weaknesses and strengths.

· Being able to trust, share, and commune with another person in depth.

· Being willing to overcome issues that are bad for us.

· Knowing that we need others to keep us on track!

· A willingness to be challenged, convicted, molded, and sharpened so we can change and grow.

· Help to develop better and deeper fellowship a

nd unity with others!

· A platform to be transformed and renewed in Christ’s Mind!

· Becoming more sensitive and discerning!

· Learning to develop the fruit of the Spirit and exercise it.

· Being willing to confess and hear others in love and confidentiality—without judgment.

· Being encouraged and encouraging others!

· Developing godly, Christ-like character!

· Learning to take risks, be vulnerable, and overcome rejection and betrayal.

· Learning that God has called us to be involved in the lives of others and that we are not to be lone ranger Christians!

· Learning that we are to be patient, because Personal Responsibility is built over time!

· Learning that deep connections do not just happen between services of the church; we have to work at them in authentic community.

· Learning that we are at our best when we are being real and authentic.

· Learning about Christ’s redemption and our ability to mind change. Mind change causes Behavior change progressively through Grace not rules.

· Learning we can be used by God to be change agents in the lives of others as tools of God’s influence.

· Learning that relationships require effort and commitment.

· Developing harmony with others so we can communicate, and being transparent without being defensive.

· Developing maturity and spiritual growth!

· Leaning to be humble and wise!

· Allowing the work of the Holy Spirit within us and being used by Him in the lives of others as well!

· The ability to bust the noise of our will and desires, as we need a godly rational perspective we can hear over that noise!

· A reminder that God is in control, even in times of dire stress and confusion!

· Trusting in God and keeping His standards because they are best for us; there is no better way than His Way!

· Understanding that Personal Responsibility takes place in the crucible (a refractory made of porcelain, used for melting and purifying materials such as gold at high temperatures, that also refers to the confluence of powerful Personal Responsibilities such as intellectual, social, economic, or political) of community with other growing Christians!

· Knowing we need Personal Responsibility for our support, faith development, and growth!

· Knowing that Personal Responsibility takes our initiative, commitment, and continuance in it!

· We have no need to hide our sins from those who are entrusted to help us deal with them.

Leading a lawless, indifferent, irreverent life while having a faith that is just fire insurance from Hell may save you—may; however, you will reap dire consequences for this mindset (Deut. 18:15; Matt. 22:13-14; 23;1 Cor. 10:11-13; 2 Cor. 5:11)!

God designed the church as the body of Christ. Thus, we are called to utility and cooperation so we can be there for one another in times of fun as well as stress. We are called to encourage and equip as well as hold each other responsible to the commitment we have made in Christ as Lord.

But exhort one another daily, while it is called "Today," lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13responsibility123

What to Look For In From Personal Responsibility And/or influence Partner or Group?

To get involved in a Personal Responsibility group and/or influence Partner, first look for an existing one you can join such as a small group through your church or a neighboring church if your church does not have one. Make sure it is gender specific—men to men and women to women. Most of these groups are found under men’s or women’s ministries. If none are available or you are not led to one, hook up with another two or three people and start your own. You can find people through a church leader or pastor. In this process, make sure you are in prayer, asking God to lead you in the right direction! The substance of why and what you are doing is more important than the form of how you do it. The key to making this work is for you and the other participants to be open, submissive, listening, and authentic so you can confess your sins in a safe, confidential environment.

gse_multipart41591

Personal Responsibility and influence Partner or Group Will Have:

· Look for Non-judgmental confidentiality

· Look for people whom you already know or have a connection with such as a common interest or season in life.

· Look for people whom you respect, trust, are mature in their faith and character, and from whom you can learn so you can develop closeness and share shortcomings!

· Look for people who maintain a loving and respectful attitude!

· Make sure you use God’s Word; it is your mirror for our personal standards for faith and practice of our Christian life!

· Make sure no one dominates unless it is a teacher teaching. Have equal airtime so all can be involved. Thus, the number of people to have depends on the length of time you meet. If you meet for an hour, have no more than four people. If you meet for two hours, have no more than seven. If you are in a larger group, have a teaching time, then break down into sub groups for Personal Responsibility questions and prayer.

· Be willing to be flexible and surrender your time when another person needs extra time and care.

· Participants need to respect the feelings and time of others, and to speak the truth in love.

· Communicate ground rules or a code of conduct, clearly emphasizing confidentiality and equal time.

· Make sure prayer is the focus!

· Seek guidance from others who can maturely guide you, who have been there, done that—who have “weathered the storms” and are able to share it. Look for people you can shepherd and guide faithfully.

· Seek those who can help you adhere to God’s standards rather than to the world’s standards.

· Seek faithfulness and constancy!

· Use humor, but not at the expense of others!

· Be committed, and encourage others to be so, too!

· Remember, the primary purpose is to get yourself aligned with God’s love, call, and precepts over all else.

· The more mature people must teach the immature—not the other way around.

· Be aware of your pride, and never allow your maturity and growth to be a source of pride or use it to put others down!

· What you do not want is people teaching you who are prideful, who only care about themselves, or who are irritable, presumptive, judgmental, "too busy," and neglectful of others! Make sure you are not this way to others! Humility builds the bridges to individuals. Meekness allows us to have the consciousness of God’s thoughts. This takes lowliness of mind and years of development to change our irrational thinking to the rational thinking of God. This will always remain a process and be a system of developmental progress throughout our entire Christian journey.

There is no best way or program to “do” Personal Responsibility. It can be a “one-on-one” mentorship or a large group that is subdivided into smaller ones; it can meet for one hour or two, once a week or every other week. The important thing is to do it, remain committed, and to follow Christ and not yourself. If you do not “click” with the people in your group or feel you do not have a level of trust, that is OK; this may not be the group or person for you. Look for or start another one.

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How to practice personal responsibility and personal influence?

We do this with Paramount principles by our perception and eyesight toward others with the eyes of Christ—to see through the lens of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Take the one another passages to heart, and when we do instruct, warn, or even correct, do it in the parameters of the fruit of the Spirit, without judgment or commendation (as there is no such thing in Christ!). Then, we can be open and honest with one another. God gives us the faith, the strength, and the empowerment to do this, and when we are with others, it is synergized! It is not about our weakness, it is about His strength! When we rely on God and build one another up, we grow in faith and maturity and become more effective to one another. This is reciprocal, and will replicate and continue.

So, what is the final obstacle remaining? The continual commitment in Personal Responsibility is not just for a time, it is for all times, and requires our discipline and dedication to keep at it. If we stop, we soon go back to our fears and complacency. When this happens, sin that before was of no consequence has now grown big and is knocking on your door. Reoccurring commitment is essential to making anything that is precious work, from a friendship to marriage to being a member of a church. We must be purposed, deliberate, persistent, devoted and continual. Commitment brings about hope and growth through sacrifice, as we pour ourselves into it while being fueled by our Lord our capacity is build internally and therefore others around us are influenced to have their own capacities dug deeper by Grace.

Titus 2:11-12

(The below emphasis comes from the Greek translations and root Translations)

After all, God’s saving Grace (unmerited favor of saving kindness and life of Who God is, what He has performed past , present, and in the future will perform in the Constance of God’s Character and Nature) has appeared (BRINGS TO LIGHT ,revealed) for the benefit (deliverance, freedom, emancipation, liberation, release, rescue, recovery, salvation, of all people (everyone). It trains (re-patterns, re-parents, instructs, rationally mentally convinced) us to avoid (say “NO” to, turn our minds from, forsake, renounce) godless (self-indulgent) lives filled with worldly(cosmic, corrupt, earthly torments hostile to God) desires (pleasures, passions) so that we can live soberly(sensible, Rationally GOD-controlled, discrete, the rational expression of God’s mind which changes our mind from irrational to rational thinking), justly (uncorrupted integrity, Honest, and authentic, transparent), and (in a way that shows that we are serving a Living God) godly (spiritually whole and uprightly though Christ-like righteousness) lives in this present world (age, time).

The structure is up to you and your group. How do you lead an effective Personal Responsibility group? The same way you would a small group. Please see the resources we have developed for you:

Take it slow and easy. Don’t try, or even expect, to immediately delve into the deepest, darkest corners of your life. Begin by having your close friends hold you responsible for things like praying regularly and integrity issues. As you see the results and benefits of this, you will also be building up trust, which is necessary for Personal Responsibility in more personal and private areas. If you need further help in this area, seek a qualified and trusted pastor or Christian counselor. Also, seek someone to whom you can be responsible. Do not just trust yourself; have a small group or mentor ask you these questions on a regular basis! 

Remember that Christian maturity and character is “Christ-likeness,” becoming more like our Lord by living out His precepts. This is not a destination until we are called home to eternity; meanwhile we who are on this journey must make the most our opportunities. We can learn and grow deeper and closer or we can repel and become worldlier. This journey and the road you will take is your choice and in God’s providence (James 4:13-17)! So, go and be sharpened, and be a sharpener to others as well! In His Word and in prayer, watch your life grow and be transformed and triumphant!

Being a disciple of Christ and making disciples requires devotion, nurturing, commitment to the Word, and worship. Most mature Christians would agree on these basics, but other things required include discipline, the ability to be studious, and to be responsible. Our basis and starting point is God’s character. Peter tells us “we are to be holy because God is holy.” (1 Peter 1:16), and the way we can respond to this call is by being responsible in our personal lives as believers and as a church. So, we need to realize that one of our calls is to participate in conflict management so the wickedness of our nature does not get out of hand and so our relationships and opportunities do not fail. God’s Word gives us the guidelines and focus for proper confrontation and the management of problems so we can be more effective in His service.

Do not allow personal influence or Personal Responsibility in your Christian life or in your church to become a forgotten call!

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Understanding and Developing Christian Influence

personal responsibility

What is Christian Influence?

Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 24:6; 27:17; 2 Corinthians 12:19-13:6; Galatians 6: 1-10; Ephesians 5:21; Colossians 3:9-10; James 5:16

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25

What is  Christian Influence?

It is a check and balance system to protect us from harm from ourselves and others. We do this by being open to what we are thinking and doing so we can receive encouragement and reproof, when needed. Christian Influence is accounting for what we are up to. It is the realization that we are liable, personally responsible, and answerable for our actions in life to God (Matt. 12:36; Rom. 2:16; 14:2; 1 Cor. 3:10-15; 4:5; 2 Cor. 5:10), as well as to key Christians in our life (John 13:34 Gal. 6:1-2; Philip. 2:4; Heb. 10:23-24; James 5:16). Thus, we need to hold to our beliefs and keep in line with what we believe so it does not distract us from God’s path for us or discourage others from their path.

Influence allows us to be personally answerable to one another, focusing on key relationships such as with our spouse, close friends, colleagues, coworkers, a boss, small group members, and pastor. It is sharing, in confidence, our heartfelt Christian sojourn in an atmosphere of trust. Then, we can give an answer for what we do and understand where we need help in areas where we are weak and struggling, where and how we are growing, what we are learning, and to be encouraged. These precepts help us to stay on track, and get prayer, care, and support when we fail. We can also model guideposts for one another in order to keep going.

Influence enables us to share our lives with one another. This helps us to get to know ourselves and others in a deeper manner. Even though most of our relationships in life tend to be casual and superficial, we need deep connections; that is what God has made us for (Eccl. 4:10-12; Rom. 12:5; 14: 13-23; Eph. 5:21; Col. 3:9-10; 1 Peter 3:15). In this, we can have a place to open up, share, and be challenged beyond sports, weather, fashion, or makeup. The goal is our spiritual formation which is Christian maturity, growth, and character derived from God working in us and our working out our faith with one another.

Some Christians have seen in Christian influence groups as a place to vent all of their frustrations in life. Yes, we need a place to vent, but if all we do is vent, we accomplish nothing. Real growth cannot take place, as the venting will be all consuming and will leave no time for instruction or feedback. The group will merely become a place to gossip. Having Spiritual Influence is also not a secular group to find our inner child, inner warrior, or warrior princess. Influence is not about just complaining about how life has dumped on us or a place to put others down; rather, it is a “compact” (a deeper agreement beyond a contract) and system on how to become more Christ-like (Psalm 133:1). A good Influence group will have questions, Bible study, prayer, listening, and support at its core.

Influence is not about confrontation. We may, at times, need to be confronted and to confront another, but Influence is more about challenging one another to grow in Christ, so there is no need to rebuke people. Influence helps instill the warning precepts that God has given us, but it also has the necessary support, counsel, encouragement, and affirmation we all need. Influence enables us to be …in Christ, we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others (Rom. 12:5). This enables our connectedness to lay aside the island mentality. We do not stand independent of one another. Because such interdependency exists within the Body of Christ, we are responsible to one another to do our part and to help others do theirs.

As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don’t need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don’t need you!" . . . If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it

(1 Cor. 12:20-21, 26).

Why Do We Need

Personal Responsibility?

We are responsible to God and to one another (2 Chron. 19:6-7; Ezek. 34:2-4; Matt. 12:36-37; 2 Pet. 2:10-11). We are all fallen creatures; as Christians, we are still fallen, but are saved by His grace. We are declared clean before God by our Lord’s work; however, we are still full of sin. We all have items and thoughts in our lives that diminish our relationship with God and our effectiveness with others. There is still a process on which to embark to become cleaner (which I believe we never totally become); this is called sanctification. As Christians, we are in the process and practice of our faith, growth, learning, and maturity all the days of our lives. At the same time, we are still sinners and susceptible to temptation, spiritual warfare, and our misplaced desires. We have blind spots and need input from others to find them. If you really want to grow in faith and be effective in ministry, you must be held personally responsible; otherwise, you will fall, backslide, or be ineffective because of imbued pride. Sin will get you; maybe not today, but tomorrow is still coming. Influence is essential for every Christian to help reach his or her full potential; it is a mandate to those in leadership and ministry!

Having other people around whom you can trust and get to know more deeply will enable you to know yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities—more deeply. You will be able to see in the mirror to your inner being and desires and see if they line up to what God has for you. You will become more aware of issues, relationships, and life as life’s purpose and God’s call are unfolded before you. Because you see life and God’s Word more deeply, your behaviors and response to others will also change for the better (Eccl. 4:8-12; Rom. 15:7; Eph. 4:9-13; 1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 10:24; James 5:16).

The pages of the Bible are filled with stories of people leaning on others for growth, personal influence, personal responsibility, and spiritual development. Deep connections from influence help great leaders overcome their struggles and see what they cannot see on their own. Most prominently in the Old Testament are Moses and Aaron (Exodus), and David and Jonathan (1 Sam. 18-20). In the New Testament are Paul and Barnabas, and then Paul with Titus, Silas, and Timothy (

Acts 11-14; 2 Cor. 2:12). And, of course, our Lord Jesus, while He walked this earth, had His twelve with an extra connection to the inner three, Peter, James, and John.

Thus, we can surmise that personal responsibility and influence is not for just for those who are weak, needy, or for wimps; it is for the strong who want to be stronger and the unconnected who need to be connected. If you think, as a man, this is still just for the weak, consider that greatness and authenticity cannot come about without humility and connection (James 4:7-12; 1 Pet. 5: 1-11)! “Real men” will be personally responsible to other real men, and real godly women will be connected to other godly women (Prov. 31). There is no way around this vital call! God gives us the call to be deeply connected to one another because we need it. The leaders in the Bible knew this well, Jesus modeled this for us, and the only hindrance is our willingness to comply. Leaders and pastors who are not personally responsible will eventually fall, and, until then, be very ineffective! God has called you to be the iron that sharpens others’ iron, as their iron will sharpen you (Prov. 27:17)!

Influence is nothing new, although it seems it is by the topics of sermons and books or from some popular movements within the last ten years; however, it was practiced by pious Jewish teachers before Christ. Influence was insisted on and practiced by Christ, Himself. Just observe how Jesus led the Disciples and how He modeled to the Disciples. This was picked up by the early church; the Reformers all had men in their lives who held them to account, in whom they trusted, took advice from, bounced ideas off of, and who prayed for them.

Calvin was especially a proponent of Influence and insisted all of His leaders be held in personally responsible, “believers (who) seriously testify, by honoring mutual righteousness among themselves, that they honor God.” It was the system he established that became the model of the “check and balance” system of modern governments, first established in the U.S. in our Constitution. The Methodist movement, founded by John Wesley, was started as an Influence and prayer group. Every effective minister, leader, and growing Christian I have ever met was in some form of an Influence group, including Billy Graham and my mentor, Francis A. Schaeffer. In fact, I have never met an effective Christian, pastor, or leader who was not in an personal Influence group. For every bad and ineffective leader I have ever met, none of them believed in or practiced Influence! This should communicate to us loudly.

Thus, the bottom line of why we need spiritual Influence is, we will be tempted; and, unless we have a system to protect ourselves, we will fall to that temptation (Prov. 6:27; 1 Cor. 6:18, 10:14; 1 Tim. 6:9-11; 2 Tim. 2:22)! The world is rich in temptations and we cannot fight against them effectively unless we allow the One who overcame the world to infuse us (John 5:4), and not love the world (1 John 2:15). It comes down to having trusting faith in Christ, and allowing His work in others to help keep us connected to Him. His empowerment will be the  synergist when we are connected with others whom we trust and who can warn us of coming dangers in our pursuits and thinking, encourage us when we are down, and who will hold us responsible. The love of God is often best reflected in the love and care of others. Allow that care to shield you from the wrong pursuits in life.

Many Christians think, all I have to do is leave Satan alone and he will leave me alone so I do not need Influence. The response to that is no, he will go after you even more! We will be tempted by Satan and by his Influences that seem enticing but will only hurt us. Satan seeks, not to give us what we want, but to steal from us all that which God has given. Thus, if we submit to God, then the devil flees; if we run to Satan and his ways, God is far off from us. We can try with all of our might and effort to have Influence, but unless others are there for us, and unless we are headed toward God, it just will not work! The only thing that can thwart Satan is God. So, be in Him and not in the world (Eph. 6:10; James 4:7-10; Rev. 12:11).

James is saying to first turn to God and surrender to His ways. If not, the ways of Satan and the world will gladly take up that role. We need others in our lives to point out to us the pitfalls before us, as we may not see them ourselves, blinded by desires and wanderlust. We cannot do this solely by our own efforts and strength; we need others, too. Others will see what we refuse to see, or what is blocked by our desires. It is about the insight of others and the power of the Spirit working in us all. It is not the strength of others; rather it is their eyes, words, and assistance, and our allowing God to be our strength. To remove Satan from our lives, we have to fell him—not just ignore him, but run away from him and to God, and allow others to help us in our scurry.

Objections to Influence and personal responsibility

Influence and personal responsibility may seem to go against our self-sufficient, individualistic mind-sets and fear of conviction. Most cultures and individuals like to be “my own person,” and thus do “my own thing.” Most people do not like being told what to do or how to do it. But, we need godly people in our lives to do just that—with love and care. Thus, we have to learn to overcome our barriers of conviction so we can grow more in Christ and with one another.

Many Christians see Influence as meaningless because conviction is the role of the Holy Spirit (John 14:17; Acts 1:8; 4:31; 10:45; 2 Cor. 3:18; Eph. 3:16-17; Heb. 13:5-6). Yes, they are correct about the conviction part, and wrong to say that it does not matter. Why? Galatians tells us to carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6:2). The meaning refers to moral issues and guarding weakness (Rom. 15:1-3; 1 Cor. 9:21).Take heed, we are also personally responsible and answerable for our actions in life to God and to other key Christians. Thus, we need to be held to our beliefs and kept in line about what we believe so it does not distract us from God’s path for us or discourage others from their own path.

The other typical objection believers give is that we are not under any kind of law, and now we have liberty and Grace, so it does not matter. A prominent Christian leader a few years back asked me, after I had done a workshop on Influence, Why is this important? Can’t I just live my Christian life as I please? After all, I have liberty in Christ! I answered him to the best of my ability, but he just would not get it; shortly thereafter, he fell and fell hard. It turned out he did not like spiritual Influence and personal responsibility because he has been having a long-term affair. He did not want to be convicted! Our liberation is not to protect us from conviction; it is to enjoy our Lord so we can pursue His precepts as we realize our indebtedness to Him.

Liberation simply means Christ has set us free (John 8:32-36; Rom. 6:3-23; Gal. 5:1). Paul was overcome by his liberation in and by Christ (Mark 7:18-19). He stressed that we must behave and be personally responsible in the correct manner. We many enjoy our freedom, but freedom does n

ot entitle one to do anything one wants, just as living in a “free” county like the U.S. does not, as we cannot steal or murder or not pay taxes. What about free will? Yes, we have “free will;” Calvin spent most of his writings discussing this fact. He taught that we have personal responsibility, and duty to faith and prayer, three areas that require free will. We are still to allow His work to continue in us; the Holy Spirit will lift our sin and our will out of the way. If you truly give up your will to God, will you be liberated or would you be obligated as a servant/slave with no real life as you would see it? The fact is that you are free in Christ! The question is how will you live your life of freedom?

The liberty of the Christian life is by surrender. It gives us:

1.      Freedom from law. (Rom. 3:19; 6:14; -15; Gal. 2:20-21; 3:23-25)

2.      Forgiveness, acceptance, and access to His presence. (Rom. 5:1-2)

3.      Freedom from having to base our acceptance on our performance. (Rom. 7: 7-11; 10:3)

4.      Freedom from sin, and declared cleaned! (John 8:34-36; Rom 3:19; 6: 3-23; 1 Cor.15: 16; Gal. 3:10-20; 4:21-31)

5.      Freedom from our own faulty thinking and superstitions. (1 Cor. 6:12-13; 8:7-13; 1 Tim. 4:1-5)

Because of these five reasons, we respond with obedience—not out of obligation (as a slave does), but out of gratitude and love. This new obedience is because of a changed heart and will. We are enabled to respond and continue in our new life by the Holy Spirit. Influence helps us in our freedom in Christ, because we give up on our self will and focus on His. Like driving a car in a strange unfamiliar area and making Christ a passenger, we, as human beings, spend most of the time arguing, complaining, and debating the destination. Yet, we do not have a clue to where we are going. If we would allow Christ to get into the driver’s seat, He would be able to take us where we could never have gone before. In addition, if we sign over the “pink slip” to our Lord Jesus Christ, then He will take us to places that, even in our wildest imaginations, we could never fathom. Then, perhaps the love we are to receive and exhibit will flow ever so much more freely! The bottom line is: Influence is letting Christ drive! Influence becomes the map to keep us moving on His road to His destination; if we throw away the map, then we go in the wrong direction; we will never get to the destination, and perhaps, even crash. It begins when we stop to ask for directions, His Directions!

We are not to allow our liberation and freedom in Grace to cause people to stumble by our actions or inactions. Our faith and actions are monitored closely by God as well as by other people, and we must realize that our actions are more influential than our words. We will either lift people up or bring them down! Hypocrisy is perhaps the most deadly threat to new or weak Christians who fall victim to it, and is a heinous sin against Christ and His children by those who cause it! We, as a body of Christ, must seek to show right actions to one another, to be cautious, and to act with charity, humility, and self-denial within our Christian liberty. We are still called to be responsible in the correct manner. We may enjoy our freedom, but freedom does not entitle us to do anything we want.  A true Christian will never destroy another person’s faith so he can have his own way! Our freedom must not bring dishonor, division, or disrepute to the church.

The first two objections are from theological standpoints, but what most of us struggle with is emotional—our fears and cultural hesitations. Connecting with others and exposing our feelings may be much easier for most women; but, for men, this is sometimes a seemingly impenetrable barrier. It can be a scary business to share your feelings and be open and transparent, as people may betray us, belittle us, or ignore or step on our heart. And to tell you the truth, yes, that can happen. It has happed to me several times, as close Influence partners have betrayed confidences and spread rumors. However, the benefits have far outweighed the few times I have been wronged.

Women tend to be better at opening up than men, especially generations born before 1965. We were brought up to think that a man is to show no emotion or share feelings—the John Wayne type. This makes a good movie character but is not good biblical character. So, we become fearful of sharing our lives with our spouse, coworkers, or even a trusted friend. These fears debilitate relational connections and the support we need in life and in ministry as well as hamper trust (Rom. 8:15). Another factor that ties in with this is shame. We feel embarrassed or that we are the only one going though this. We may feel they will reject me when they get to know me. Or, we feel no one will understand or they will think less of me. The fact is, as growing Christians in Christ, when we get to know one another, we get to know ourselves as well; love supercedes judgment and care overpowers fear. This leads to forgiveness and openness. If we let our shame and fear rule our emotions and ability to be held responsible, we will not be able to share or receive godly instruction. Thus, sin will rain upon us. When we start to realize that the love and care we send and receive is far better than the isolation we build, it will allow us to grow more in maturity and faith because we will be open and honest. As a result, all of our relationships and our ministry will vastly improve.

We need to realize we are already accepted by Christ. He no longer condemns us, as, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus… nothing can separate me from the love of God (Rom. 8). Thus, to be in a Christian Influence group, you are in a group with sinners who all have been wounded, all who fear, all who are saved by grace, and who all are together exercising the faith. We are all in the same boat here. We learn of one another’s battles which helps us with ours, and ours helps with theirs. Insights are gained and shared, and the transformation from fear to maturity commences. Together, we are not to be ashamed of who we are in Christ, living out our faith with passion and conviction. The real shame is a Christian who does not seek help from God and others. Being Personally responsible will promote healing and growth in all aspects of your life!

Remember, people will hurt you, because people who hurt are usually hurting themselves and they do not know how to relate (which an Influence group can help with). What can we do to overcome this obstacle? Be vulnerable, yet discerning. Only allow people whom you already know and trust to be a part of your support group, and advance slowly. Start off with a few of the simple questions and prayer; as you get to know one another, you will build the trust. (I did not do this with the people who betrayed me!) When we feel safe, we are more apt to share; this goes for both men and women. When we feel safe, we better receive essential positive feedback, listen to constructive criticism, and have a longer and deeper prayer time.

The key to effective spiritu

al Influence is to allow our pride to yield to the necessity of being personally responsible to one another. Our justification in Christ is no escape from bad things happening, because the world is still full of sin. It is a starting point to build and develop character, patience, and dependence on God’s grace, as Abraham did by faith; we are responsible for our choices. God approves when we are walking in Him! God does not approve when we are walking by ourselves, comfortable in our own petty presumptions, and ignoring His love and truth!

 

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Heart and Mind Defined: Biblical ViewPoint

heartmind

A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

It is vital to look at  word definitions in the original language, the root word that the word is derived from, the use or context of the word,  when looking at the old and new testaments

HEART (lebh, lebhabh; kardia): The different senses in which the word occurs in the Old Testament and the New Testament may be grouped under the following heads:

Bodily Organ Various Meanings:
It represents in the first place the bodily organ, and by easy transition those experiences which affect or are affected by the body. Fear, love, courage, anger, Joy, sorrow, hatred are always ascribed to the heart–especially in the Old Testament; thus courage for which usually ruach is used (Ps 27:14); joy (Ps 4:7); anger (Dt 19:6, "while his heart is hot," lebhabh); fear (1 Sam 25:37); sorrow (Ps 13:2), etc. Hence, naturally it came to stand for the man himself (Dt 7:17; "say in

1. Heart and Personality:
As representing the man himself, it was considered to be the seat of the emotions and passions and appetites (Gen 18:5; Lev 19:17; Ps 104:15), and embraced likewise the intellectual and moral faculties–though these are necessarily ascribed to the "soul" as well. This distinction is not always observed.

2. Soul and Heart:
"Soul" in Hebrew can never be rendered by "heart"; nor can "heart" be considered as a synonym for "soul." Cremer has well observed: "The Hebrew nephesh ("soul") is never translated kardia ("heart"). …. The range of the Hebrew nephesh, to which the Greek psuche alone corresponds, differs so widely from the ideas connected with psuche, that utter confusion would have ensued had psuche been employed in an unlimited degree for lebh ("heart"). The Biblical lebh never, like psuche, denotes the personal subject, nor could it do so. That which in classical Greek is ascribed to psuche (a good soul, a just soul, etc.) is in the Bible ascribed to the heart alone and cannot be otherwise" (Cremer, Lexicon, article "Kardia," 437 ff, German edition)

3. Center of Vital Action:
In the heart vital action is centered (1 Ki 21:7). "Heart," except as a bodily organ, is never ascribed to animals, as is the case sometimes with nephesh and ruach (Lev 17:11, nephesh; Gen 2:19; Nu 16:22; Gen 7:22, ruach). "Heart" is thus often used interchangeably with these two (Gen 41:8; Ps 86:4; 119:20); but "it never denotes the personal subject, always the personal organ."

4. Heart and Mind:
As the central organ in the body, forming a focus for its vital action, it has come to stand for the center of its moral, spiritual, intellectual life. "In particular the heart is the place in which the process of self-consciousness is carried out, in which the soul is at home with itself, and is conscious of all its doing and suffering as its own" (Oehler). Hence, it is that men of "courage" are called "men of the heart"; that the Lord is said to speak "in his heart" (Gen 8:21); that men "know in their own heart" (Dt 8:5); that "no one considereth in his heart’ (Isa 44:19 the King James Version). "Heart" in this connection is sometimes rendered "mind," as in Nu 16:28 ("of mine own mind," Vulgate (Jerome’s Latin Bible, 390-405 A.D.) ex proprio corde, Septuagint ap’ emautou); the foolish "is void of understanding," i.e. "heart" (Prov 6:32, where the Septuagint renders phrenon, Vulgate (Jerome’s Latin Bible, 390-405 A.D.) cordis, Luther "der ist ein Narr"). God is represented as "searching the heart" and "trying the reins" (Jer 17:10 the King James Version). Thus, "heart" comes to stand for "conscience," for which there is no word in Hebrew, as in Job 27:6, "My heart shall not reproach me," or in 1 Sam 24:5, "David’s heart smote him"; compare 1 Sam 25:31. From this it appears, in the words of Owen: "The heart in Scripture is variously used, sometimes for the mind and understanding, sometimes for the will, sometimes for the affections, sometimes for the conscience, sometimes for the whole soul. Generally, it denotes the whole soul of man and all the faculties of it, not absolutely, but as they are all one principle of moral operations, as they all concur in our doing of good and evil."

5. Figurative Senses:
The radical corruption of human nature is clearly taught in Scripture and brought into connection with the heart. It is "uncircumcised" (Jer 9:26; Ezek 44:7; compare Acts 7:51); and "hardened" (Ex 4:21); "wicked" (Prov 26:23); "perverse" (Prov 11:20); "godless" (Job 36:13); "deceitful and desperately wicked" (Jer 17:9 the King James Version). It defiles the whole man (Mt 15:19,20); resists, as in the case of Pharaoh, the repeated call of God (Ex 7:13). There, however, the law of God is written (Rom 2:15); there the work of grace is wrought (Acts 15:9), for the "heart" may be "renewed" by grace (Ezek 36:26), because the "heart" is the seat of sin (Gen 6:5; 8:21).

6. Process of Heart Renewal:
This process of heart-renewal is indicated in various ways. It is the removal of a "stony heart" (Ezek 11:19). The heart becomes "clean" (Ps 51:10); "fixed" (Ps 112:7) through "the fear" of the Lord (verse 1); "With the heart man believeth" (Rom 10:10); on the "heart" the power of God is exercised for renewal (Jer 31:33). To God the bereaved apostles pray as a knower of the heart (Acts 1:24–a word not known to classical writers, found only here in the New Testament and in Acts 15:8, kardiognostes). In the "heart" God’s Spirit dwells with might (Eph 3:16, eis ton eso anthropon); in the "heart" God’s love is poured forth (Rom 5:5). The Spirit of His son has been "sent forth into the heart" (Gal 4:6); the "earnest of the Spirit" has been given "in the heart" (2 Cor 1:22). In the work of grace, therefore, the heart occupies a position almost unique.

7. The Heart First:
We might also refer here to the command, on which both the Old Testament and New Testament revelation of love is based: "Thou shalt love Yahweh thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might" (Dt 6:5); where "heart" always takes the first place, and is the term which in the New Testament rendering remains unchanged (compare Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30,33; Lk 10:27, where "heart" always takes precedence).

8. A Term for "Deepest":
A bare reference may be made to the employment of the term for that which is innermost, hidden, deepest in anything (Ex 15:8; Jon 2:3), the very center of things.
This we find in all languages. Compare Eph 3:16,17, "in the inward man," as above.
J. I. Marais

HEART

The heart is the center of the physical, mental, and spiritual life of humans. This contrasts to the normal use of kardia (“heart”) in Greek literature outside the Scriptures. The New Testament follows the Old Testament usage when referring to the human heart in that it gives kardia a wider range of meaning than it was generally accustomed to have.

First, the word heart refers to the physical organ and is considered to be the center of the physical life. Eating and drinking are spoken of as strengthening the heart (Genesis 18:5; Judges 19:5; Acts 14:17). As the center of physical life, the heart came to stand for the person as a whole.

The heart became the focus for all the vital functions of the body; including both intellectual and spiritual life. The heart and the intellect are closely connected, the heart being the seat of intelligence: “For this people’s heart is waxed gross… lest at any time they should… understand with their heart, and should be converted” (Matthew 13:15). The heart is connected with thinking: As a person “thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). To ponder something in one’s heart means to consider it carefully (Luke 1:66; Luke 2:19). “To set one’s heart on” is the literal Hebrew that means to give attention to something, to worry about it (1 Samuel 9:20). To call to heart (mind) something means to remember something (Isaiah 46:8). All of these are functions of the mind, but are connected with the heart in biblical language.

Closely related to the mind are acts of the will, acts resulting from a conscious or even a deliberate decision. Thus, 2 Corinthians 9:7: “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give.” Ananias contrived his deed of lying to the Holy Spirit in his heart (Acts 5:4). The conscious decision is made in the heart (Romans 6:17). Connected to the will are human wishes and desires. Romans 1:24 describes how God gave them up “through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies.” David was a man after God’s “own heart” because he would “fulfill all” of God’s will (Acts 13:22).

Not only is the heart associated with the activities of the mind and the will, but it is also closely connected to the feelings and affections of a person. Emotions such as joy originate in the heart (Psalms 4:7; Isaiah 65:14). Other emotions are ascribed to the heart, especially in the Old Testament. Nabal’s fear is described by the phrase: “his heart died within him” (1 Samuel 25:37; compare Psalms 143:4). Discouragement or despair is described by the phrase “heaviness in the heart” which makes it stoop (Proverbs 12:25). Again, Ecclesiastes 2:20 says, “Therefore I went about to cause my heart to despair of all the labor which I took under the sun.” Another emotion connected with the heart is sorrow. John 16:6 says, “because I have said these things unto you, sorrow hath filled your heart.” Proverbs 25:20, describes sorrow as having “an heavy heart.” The heart is also the seat of the affection of love and its opposite, hate. In the Old Testament, for example, Israel is commanded: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason with your neighbor, lest you bear sin because of him” (Leviticus 19:17 RSV). A similar attitude, bitter jealousy, is described in James 3:14 as coming from the heart. On the other hand, love is based in the heart. The believer is commanded to love God “with all your heart” (Mark 12:30; compare Deuteronomy 6:5). Paul taught that the purpose of God’s command is love which comes from a “pure heart” (1 Timothy 1:5).

Finally, the heart is spoken of in Scripture as the center of the moral and spiritual life. The conscience, for instance, is associated with the heart. In fact, the Hebrew language had no word for conscience, so the word heart was often used to express this concept: “my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live” (Job 27:6). The Revised Standard Version translates the word for “heart” as “conscience” in 1 Samuel 25:31 (RSV). In the New Testament the heart is spoken of also as that which condemns us (1 John 3:19-21). All moral conditions from the highest to the lowest are said to center in the heart. Sometimes the heart is used to represent a person’s true nature or character. Samson told Delilah “all his heart” (Judges 16:17). This true nature is contrasted with the outward appearance: “man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7 RSV).

On the negative side, depravity is said to issue from the heart: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). Jesus said that out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander (Matthew 15:19). In other words, defilement comes from within rather than from without.

Because the heart is at the root of the problem, this is the place where God does His work in the individual. For instance, the work of the law is “written in their hearts,” and conscience is the proof of this (Romans 2:15). The heart is the field where seed (the Word of God) is sown (Matthew 13:19; Luke 8:15). In addition to being the place where the natural laws of God are written, the heart is the place of renewal. Before Saul became king, God gave him a new heart (1 Samuel 10:9). God promised Israel that He would give them a new spirit within, take away their “stony heart” and give them a “heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 11:19). Paul said that a person must believe in the heart to be saved, “for with the heart man believeth unto righteousness” (Romans 10:10). (See also Mark 11:23; Hebrews 3:12.)

Finally, the heart is the dwelling place of God. Two persons of the Trinity are said to reside in the heart of the believer. God has given us the “earnest of the Spirit in our hearts” (2 Corinthians 1:22). Ephesians 3:17 expresses the desire that “Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith.” The love of God “is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:5).

I) HEART DEFINED IN THE BIBLE

[Vines Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, [W.E. Vine, Edited by F. F. Bruce, Fleming H. Revell Co. Old Tappan, N.J., 1981, pp. 206-207]:

"The word came to stand for man’s entire mental and moral activity, both the rational and the emotional elements…

As to its usage in the N.T. it denotes

(a) The seat of physical life, Acts 14:17; Jas. 5:5;

(b) the seat of moral nature and spiritual life, the seat of grief, John 14:1; Rom. 9:2; 2 Cor 2:4; joy, John 16:22; Eph. 5:19; the desires, Matt. 5:28; 2 Pet 2:14; the affections, Luke 24:32; Acts 21:13; the perceptions, John 12:40; Eph. 4:18; the thoughts, Matt. 9:4; Heb. 4:12; the understanding, Matt. 13:15; Rom. 1:21; the reasoning powers, Mark 2:6; Luke 24:38; the imagination, Luke 1:51; conscience, Acts 2:37; 1 John 3:20; the intentions, Heb 4:12; cp. 1 Pet 4:1; purpose, Acts 11:23; 2 Cor 9:7; the will, Rom. 6:17; Col. 3:15; faith, Mark 11:23; Rom. 10:10; Heb. 3:12.

The heart, in its moral significance in the O.T., includes the emotions, the reason and the will.

II) HEART FAITH VS HEAD FAITH

[Robert N. Wilkin states, 'SAVING FAITH IN FOCUS', Journal of the GRACE EVANGELICAL SOCIETY, Grace Evangelical Society, Irving, Tx, Robert N. Wilkin, Editor, p. 49-50]:

"HEAD FAITH, HEART FAITH, AND MIND GAMES

How do you convince someone that saving faith is not just faith in the gospel, that it includes commitment, turning from sins, perseverance in obedience, and the like? Since there is no verse in Scripture that identifies saving faith as anything other than believing the gospel, you’d have a hard time proving your view from the Bible. However, there is an easier way.

The best way to sell the idea that saving faith includes the kitchen sink is through the use of pejor

ative terms like intellectual faith or head faith. Then they espouse the idea that the Bible teaches that the faith that truly saves is heart faith.

There is a tract called ‘Missing Heaven by Eighteen Inches.’ It argues that you would miss heaven if you believed the gospel with your head rather than with your heart. Head faith is dangerous, it suggests, because you may think you are saved simply because you believe the facts of the gospel. Yet without the heart commitment, that ‘faith’ is not saving faith at all.

Heart faith can include almost anything. However, heart faith raises potential problems. How much commitment, turning from sins, obedience, and the like is enough? The biblical evidence demonstrates that this supposed distinction between head faith and heart faith is really a mind game.

First, the Scriptures never refer to the head as the source of thinking and feeling. In addition, the word head is never associated with faith in the Bible.

The word head occurs approximately 330 times in the Bible. Of those, the vast majority refers literally to the head. The figurative uses include lifting up the head, which refers to being placed in a position of honor or having one’s former status reinstated (Genesis 40:13; Job 10:15), blood or wickedness being on the head, which refers to a guilt and judgment coming against persons for their wicked deeds (1 Kings 2:37, ‘Your blood shall be on your own head,’ 1 Samuel 25:39, ‘The Lord has returned the wickedness of Nabal on his own head’), and head as ruler or authority over others (2 Samuel 22:44, ‘head of the nations,’ 1 Corinthians 11:3, ‘the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God’). There is absolutely no biblical warrant for speaking of head faith.]

Second, of the two remaining words, heart and mind, the Scriptures often use them interchangeably.

For example, ‘Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind‘ (Psalm 73:21). There is synonymous parallelism here. That is, the two halves of the verse are saying the same thing using synonyms. To be grieved in your heart is to be vexed in your mind. The same thing is evident in Hebrews 8:10, ‘I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts.’ Mind and heart are used synonymously there.

Another example is found by comparing Luke 24:25 and Luke 24:45:

‘O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken.’

‘And He opened their understanding [lit. mind], that they might comprehend the Scriptures.’

Those two passages are talking about the same thing. The disciples were slow of heart to believe the prophetic teaching of the Old Testament Scriptures regarding His resurrection. So what did Jesus do? He opened their mind that they might comprehend those Scriptures. There is no difference whatsoever here between believing in the heart or believing in the mind. Compare also 1 Samuel 2:35; Psalm 26:2; Jeremiah 11:20; 20:12; and Ephesians 4:17-18]

Both [expressions] refer to the inner self where one thinks and believes and feels.

The mind is associated with believing in at least three passages (Luke 24:45; Romans 14:5; Ephesians 4:17-18). In these three passages the words believe and faith do not occur. However, synonyms are present. Luke 24:45 [was previously discussed]. In that text, opening of the mind is shown to be antithetical to being ‘slow of heart to believe’ (verse 25). Romans 14:5 reads, ‘Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." Ephesians 4:17–18, which, like Luke 24:45, equates the heart and mind, says, ‘The Gentiles walk in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened… because of the blindness of their heart.

Third, the mind is not viewed as being inferior to the heart in Scripture. In one of the most famous verses on sanctification in the Bible, Paul exhorted the believers in Rome, ‘Be transformed by the renewing of your mind‘ (Romans 12:2). Similarly, he exhorted the Ephesians believers, ‘Be renewed in the spirit of your mind‘ (Ephesians 4:23), Paul spoke to the Corinthian believers of having ‘the mind of Christ’ (1 Corinthians 2:16). Luke said that the Lord ‘opened [the disciples'] understanding [literally mind in Greek], that they might comprehend the Scriptures,’ that is, the Old Testament Scriptures, concerning His resurrection (Luke 24:45).

Fourth, while the words believe and faith occur approximately 450 times in the Bible, only a few passages specify where belief takes place. They speak of believing as though the reader of Scripture knows what that means and where it occurs.

One passage, Romans 10:9-10, directly speaks of ‘believ[ing] in your heart.’ That is set in contrast with ‘confess[ing] with your mouth.’ The former is internal; the latter external. The former is by faith alone. The latter includes works. ‘Confessing with your mouth the Lord Jesus’ is the action that involves commitment, obedience, and turning from sins, not ‘believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead.’ Nor is believing with your heart defined as some special kind of faith that might rightly be called heart faith. Paul is merely indicating that saving faith takes place internally, as opposed to confessing Christ in word and deed, which takes place externally….."

{Incidentally, re: [Ro 10:9]:

(v. 9) "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved."

"If you confess" = The word confess in the original text, ("homologeses"), comes from the root words ‘homos’ meaning ‘same’ (from which we get the English word homogeneous), and the Greek word ‘logo’ meaning ‘to speak’. It literally means to say the same thing, i.e., to acknowledge what is evident already on the mind. In this case what is evidently already on the mind is that Jesus is Lord. An individual will have it in his mind that Jesus is Lord when he becomes born again through faith alone in Christ alone as Savior, (1 Jn 5:9-13). Then and only then does an individual have the potential of having Jesus Christ as their Lord – only after He becomes his Savior unto eternal life.

The confession when it does occur, (i.e., the acknowledgment that), one’s Lord is Jesus Christ – can only come after having been saved not before. It must first be received as a truth by faith alone in Christ alone unto justification, (Ro 10:10a), before it enters the mind as being something one can express with one’s lips making it known that one is saved.

The order of faith unto eternal life and then confession is confirmed by the grammatical construction of verse 9: Verse 9
is a reverse cause and effect statement with the effect, confession, coming first – in the subjunctive mood and the cause, (believing), coming second. We know this because the conjunction "ean" which precedes the clause "’confess with your mouth" is the conjunction which is used to introduce the effect in the third class "if" condition and the verb is in the subjunctive mood both of which project a possibility of maybe one will and maybe one won’t confess:

So the first part of the verse is the effect, the result: some will and some won’t confess with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord as a result of believing unto eternal life. Thus the second part of the verse, (cause & effect are in reverse order), is the cause, the ‘if’ portion: if you believe:

"If you… …believe in your heart." = When you believe then you may or may not confess that Jesus is Lord = if you do then the cause of that confession is that you believed!

Finally, the third part of the verse: "..you will be saved" is connected with the second part: believe. It is not connected with confess such that confession is required and its omission will block salvation.

So to paraphrase this verse with the meaning that the original language provides, we have the following: ‘The possible result is that you will confess (maybe you will and maybe you won’t) with your mouth Jesus as Lord as a result of the cause that you believed in your heart that God raised Him from the dead which belief alone is what results in your being saved.’}

"Four other passages, none of which is dealing with saving faith, indicate indirectly that belief takes place in the heart (Mark 11:23; 16:14; Luke 8:12; 24:25). However, in each of those verses the point is just that belief takes place internally. And, as we have already seen, in the last of those passages believing in the heart is equated with believing with the mind.

Believing in Christ is the sole condition of eternal life. There is no such thing as special types of faith called heart faith and head faith. Saving faith doesn’t include commitment, obedience, or turning from sins. It is merely the conviction that Jesus is speaking the truth when He says, ‘He who believes in Me has everlasting life.’ (John 6:47)."

II) SAVING FAITH DEFINED IN 1 JN 5:9-13 AS ACCEPTING THE TESTIMONY OF GOD

A) [1 Jn 5:9]:

(v. 9) "We accept man’s testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which He has given about His Son."

1) THE TESTIMONY OF GOD IS GREATER THAN MAN’S AND IT IS ABOUT HIS SON

This verse states that the testimony of God is superior to any man’s because God is Who He is:

He is Sovereign and Almighty. And the particular testimony that author John points to here is the testimony of God which He has given about His son relative to trusting in Him unto salvation unto eternal life to which the next 3 verses attest]:

B) [1 Jn 5:10]:

(v. 10) "Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made Him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about His Son."

1) BELIEVING IN THE SON OF GOD IN THIS CONTEXT = BELIEVING IN HIM AS CHRIST, AS ONE’S MESSIAH TO SAVE YOU UNTO ETERNAL LIFE

The context of this has already been established in the first verse of chapter 5:

a) [Compare 1 Jn 5:1a]:

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God…."

[Kenneth S. Wuest states, ('Ephesians and Colossians in the Greek New Testament', Wm B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. Grand Rapids, Mich, 1963, p15):

“Christ” is the transliteration of christos which means 'anointed'....

...In the Church Epistles, the word does not refer to our Lord in His official capacity of the Messiah of the Jewish nation, but as The Anointed of God, the Person chosen from the Godhead to be the anointed Prophet, Priest, and King to accomplish the purposes of God in the plan of salvation."

So to believe that Jesus is the Christ is to believe that His purpose as the Christ = to be your Savior unto eternal life, is true resulting in the reception of becoming born of God, i.e., saved unto eternal life:

b) [Compare Jn 1:12-13]:

(v. 12) "Yet to all who received Him [Christ, (v. 1)], to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God -

(v. 13) children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."

2) BELIEVING IN THE SON OF GOD AS CHRIST = MESSIAH TO SAVE YOU PRODUCES THE RESULT OF HAVING THE TESTIMONY OF GOD IN ONE’S HEART, I.E., ONE’S MIND

"Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony [of God] in his heart."

Believing in the Son of God [to save you, (vv. 1, 11)] produces the result of having this testimony of God in one’s ‘heart’, (i.e., in one’s mind, ref. Heb 4:12). This means that one accepts the truth in what God has said, i.e., His "testimony" about His Son relative to eternal life. And Scripture teaches that God will then deliver on His promise of eternal life to that individual who believes, (Jn 3:16; 36; 5:24; 6:47; etc.). Notice that there is no stipulation made that the acceptance of the testimony of God about His Son, i.e., belief in Christ as Savior had to occur in the heart as opposed to the head or mind.

3) ANYONE WHO BELIEVES IN THE SON [TO PROVIDE ETERNAL LIFE FOR HIM] HAS THIS TESTIMONY OF GOD’S IN HIS HEART = MIND = MENTAL UNDERSTANDING

"has this testimony in his heart" = in his mind, (Jn 12:40; Eph 4:18; Mt 9:4; Heb 4:12, etc.). Scripture equates the expression ‘in his heart’ with ‘in his mind’.

Anyone who believes that the Son will provide eternal life for him has this testimony in his ‘heart’ such that it is a part of his mental understanding that he is now saved unto eternal life.

(v. 10 cont.) "Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe
God has made Him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about His Son."

4) ON THE OTHER HAND ANYONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE GOD’S TESTIMONY ABOUT HIS SON MAKES GOD OUT TO BE A LIAR

"Anyone who does not believe has made Him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about His Son."

Disbelieving the testimony of God that eternal life is secured solely through believing in the Son of God is tantamount to calling God a liar. So to be saved one must believe in the testimony of God about His Son relative to eternal life. Anything less and anything more than a one time moment of accepting the testimony of God about His Son relative to eternal life, i.e., believing in it would make this verse untrue. And the next verse tells us what that testimony is which individuals must believe in order to have eternal life]:

C) [1 Jn 5:11]:

(v. 11) And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.

1) THE TESTIMONY OF GOD ABOUT HIS SON IS THAT GOD HAS GIVEN THE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE TO MANKIND THROUGH HIS SON

Notice that eternal life is described as something that is given, i.e., a gift, (cp Eph 2:8), to mankind and that gift it is established is in the possession of the individual, i.e., given to him, when he believes the testimony of God about eternal life being through His Son. So believing the testimony of God about His Son incorporates such testimony within the mind of the individual, (v. 10), resulting in that individual having the Son, i.e., having eternal life]:

D) [1 Jn 5:12]:

(v. 12) He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life."

1) HAVING THE SON = BELIEVING IN THE TESTIMONY OF GOD ABOUT HIS SON = HAVING ETERNAL LIFE

"He who has the Son has life" = He who believes in God’s testimony about His Son – that the Son will provide eternal life for him if he merely believes in the Son doing this, has eternal life, (Ref. v. 10)

2) HE WHO DOES NOT HAVE THE SON = HAS NOT BELIEVED IN GOD’S TESTIMONY ABOUT HIS SON = DOES NOT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE

"He who does not have the Son of God does not have life." = To have the Son means to believe that He will provide eternal life for you. To not have the Son is to not take God at His Word, (i.e., believe), that the Son alone will provide eternal life for you. And he who has not believed in Christ as Savior "Does not have [eternal] life."

a) [Compare Jn 3:18]:

"He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already [unto condemnation], because he has not believed in the name of the One and only Son of God."

"believed in the name of" = believed in the capacity and willingness of God to grant eternal life as a gift – just for trusting alone in Him alone, (Jn 3:1-18; Ro 3:21-24).

3) IF YOU BELIEVE WHAT GOD HAS TESTIFIED TO ABOUT HIS SON THEN YOU WILL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE BECAUSE GOD SAYS SO

If you believe what God has testified to about His Son, then you will have eternal life because God says so. God being Who He is as it is clearly indicated in verse 9: a sovereign God Whose testimony is greater than man’s, He will deliver. And John writes these verses about eternal life for the following reason]:

E) [1 Jn 5:13]:

(v. 13) I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you many know that you have eternal life."

1) JOHN’S MESSAGE OF ETERNAL LIFE WAS WRITTEN SO THAT ALL WHO BELIEVE IN THE NAME OF, I.E., THE CAPACITY OF, THE SON TO PROVIDE ETERNAL LIFE FOR THEM MAY KNOW THAT THEY HAVE ETERNAL LIFE

So, taking God at His Word about eternal life through His Son provides assurance that you do NOW possess the gift of life everlasting in heaven never to lose it, (cp. Eph 1:13-14).

Consider if one could know now at the point of faith alone in Christ alone that one is absolutely saved, then it obviously would not depend upon any future thoughts, words, or deeds of the believer only on the faithfulness of God to keep His promise. Man needs to add nothing to the Gospel of Grace.

GRACE + NOTHING

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

 

 

Whole Solution for the Whole Community

CommunityLogo

We are a faith-based organization for at-risk young adults. We are committed to helping families in crisis with troubled loved-ones through a referral network of Christian ministries that provide diverse services complimenting each other for the purpose of healing and restoring broken families. We also provide immediate support and crisis counseling at the moment of the call. We help process the individual through the crisis they are involved to a place of personal responsibility and the depth of a rational mind change.

Oftentimes people in crisis can be defiant, have numerous overlapping life controlling problems, because of frustration are unmotivated, involved in immoral lifestyles, including promiscuity, drug abuse, alcohol and other facets of outright rebellion that are directly connected to idolatry. The underlying root cause of sin (to choose to turn off the mark) is idolatry (1 Cor. 10:1-14). Idolatry can be defined as: When we hold in high esteem, regard, honor the created and not the creator God. We begin to ask the questions that take the individual from a place of irrational thoughts about themselves to a ration thought process that causes them to be convinced about their state and want a change. We get enslaved to what we love more than God. How do we define our individual idolatry? What are we giving our allegiances, value, time, energy, money, life to? It is also important for us to consider that also Good created things we can give ourselves over to, for these things we love. Things such as family, employment, our pastors, and numerous other good things can enslave us, people could gladly choose Good things to enslave themselves. Good things do not mean that they cannot become out little gods.

It is important for us to find out what enslaves us so we can define what the underlying root cause of the surface problems that is evident in our life. Answer these questions and they will lead to what enslaves you?

· What are your greatest fears?

· What do you care about most?

· What are you passionate about?

· What motivates you every day?

· Where do you run for comfort?

· What do you complain about?

· What makes you the extremely angry?

· What makes you the most happiest?

· How do you explain yourselves to people or introduce yourself to people?

· What are you mad at God about?

· What are you mad at your selves about?

· What do you Brag about?

· What do you sacrifice to with your money, time, and energy the most to?

· What are our greatest hopes and desires?

· What are you waiting for?

The combined services and collaborative efforts of our network of ministries help to begin to address the needs of the whole person by providing a whole solution through spiritual nurturing re-pattern of the mind, emotional health and social enrichment. We are convinced that this is the solution to strengthening families and communities throughout America. The inner Transformation is because of the working of Grace, which does not demand nor modify a behavior changes with only unreliable temporary irrational solutions. Inner transformation is an inner process of integration in our mind to pattern our thoughts with God’s mind which causes transfiguration by joining the human and the divine through revelation of absolute truth internally. Behavior modification is the process of forcing external change of self-defeating behavior. To cause change only on the external is only to provide Band-aid solutions for an individual’s surface problems from the outer. This external behavior modification comes from secular reasoning and humanistic counseling in the form of behaviorism that is prevalent in recovery models. It will work in the short term to cause a ceasing of external surface self-defeating and life controlling problems. Behavior modification is only impermanent because the source is temporal and methods are not focused on changing the mind rationally. The underlying primary root cause of the self-defeating and life controlling problems are not defined as irrational thought patterns and habits therefore the idea of personal responsibility is never considered because of the diseasing of behavior.

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The Grace of God ( Who God is and What God has performed) teaches us the rational expression of God which internally convinces us in our mind, deals with the underlying root issues that caused the surface self-defeating behaviors by internal re-patterning of the mind. The battlefield in our mind needs to change from patterns or habits learned from outer and external stimulation from our past experiences, billions of projections per second from the world system, and from our adversary the devil who goal is to enslave out thought patterns. God, the Holy Spirit works through our human spirit to re-patterns our mind by God’s amazing abundant Grace as the source that reliably reconstructs our mind from the irrational to the rational from the inside. The transfigured mind will cause a metamorphosis, transfigures our free will(Volition), rebuilds our value system in our conscience, and restructures our reacting emotions to responding from new Christ mind. The new Birth of our mind occurs at the moment we begin our relationship with Christ. New Birth birth plants the person, the Holy Spirit whose primary role in our life is to convince (convict) us. Our newness is the new birth given to those who choose life of Grace. Grace does the work and patterns our mind actively inside of us because everything about God’s Grace is constant, reliable, authentic, dependable, unbroken, unceasing, devoted, and therefore eternally continual. This symphony of Grace has that refer frequently and usually initially only to our personal salvation. It is defined as the favor

of God meaning that we did not deserve and could not ever earn the non-meritorious Gift of God. The frequent missing of the daily life giving constancy of grace, to realize all of who God is, performed and continues to reveal himself as the source in His character and nature in our daily life.

The results of this network of ministries are proving to be a solution to strengthen people, families, and their communities throughout America and overseas. After 15 years and over 11,000 hours of working with troubled young adults and families, we have discovered that the common thread woven through the diverse fabric of our nation’s people is the lack of purpose and identity.  There are many people of all ages, from the inner cities to suburbia, who are wandering aimlessly in search of the answer to the same question man has asked for thousands of years, "Who am I, and why am I here?"  Unfortunately, drugs, gangs and other negative influences are competing heavily for the hearts and minds of America, with a heavy impact on young adults everywhere.  The availability of such overwhelming negative influences in every sector of our society is a deadly mix for everyone.  Our non-profit is on the forefront of working with such difficulties, and has united and brought leadership to a unique network of Christian organizations, bringing real solutions for young adults and families! 

 

OUR VISION

Our vision is to reach multitudes of young adults and their families, and to produce a remnant of people that will glorify Jesus in and through their lives. We want to assure that these young adults to become a blessing to their local Churches as well as their communities. This is vital because the church is suffering from the eventual extinction with 86 percent of young adults leaving the church by their 18th birthday and never returning. This generation is in utter crisis becoming more and more post-Christian in their world-views. Our society needs to be build upon the young adults who are the future of our society. The unreached and un-churched young adults are reachable through non-judgmental, relevant non-traditional contemporary methods which are authentic and real without the appearance of hypocrisy.

From among these young adults that we have reached, God will separate some for the work of the ministry. Our society is no longer producing morally healthy young adults on a large scale; it is also our goal to establish a community of strong families, which are hopefully the partial purpose of local churches. Eventually, neighboring Churches will catch on until the whole city is filled with strong living organisms of believers, thus creating a strong city. Strong clusters of cities won to Christ will inevitably restore a strong and mighty nation under GOD, which in turn can impact the whole world.

Our vision is to reach multitudes of young adults and their families, and to produce a remnant of people that will glorify Jesus in and through their lives by God’s Grace. The living remnant cannot occur by self focused and behavior modification which secular traditional treatment of life controlling problems has predominately focused on in recovery programs. This will provide assurance to themselves and many others that Christianity is not a bunch of rules and behaviors. The personal life of Grace in their lives can and will build depth of capacity. Living epistle’s will emerge and display God’s masterpiece to encourage each other and attract those still in the world surrounding them.  It is the duty of every person to be a servant of Christ, and a spiritual leader to the lost and dying generation. It is a challenge to become less self-serving and self-sacrificial. This is God’s eternal purpose is to establish a family in light of the fact that it will serve as a catapult to produce a godly seed. Through the perfection of succeeding generations, we will one day become that glorious church without spot or wrinkle for which Jesus will return. This occurs only by the working of Grace that teaches us to deny ungodliness and this present temporal world values.

This is our eternal dream. We understand that this is definitely not a quick fix solution to the problems of this generation. On the contrary, this process is one of much time, great cost, sacrificial commitment and a life time of dedication. Although the task may seem too big to tackle, we are convinced that it is our most noble duty to do that which is right in the eyes of Almighty God. He alone can take our small sacrifices and efforts to magnify them to the magnitude of a worldwide revival. It is our hope that in our life time we can see this dream come to pass. If for some reason we don’t, we together at the least will sow a sure seed for the salvation of future generations. Nevertheless, whether in our lifetime or in the lifetime of our successors, we are convinced that this dream will come to pass.

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Services

· Addiction Recovery & Treatment
Biblical Counseling and spiritual treatment for those battling life controlling and self-defeating behaviors of any kind

· Crisis Intervention
Serving those who are facing a crisis situation and need immediate help

· Family Counseling & Restoration
Individual and Family Biblical Counseling

· Friendship, Dating & Marriage Education
Healing from past relationships and preparation for future challenges

· Parent Coaching & Workshops
Valuable resources to families with children of all ages

· Recreation & Fitness Programs
Achieving or maintaining physical health with encouraging role-models

· Social Maturity & Emotional Health
Building healthy relationships through planting high impact churches across America to reach this generation in crisis.

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Mission

Our mission is to reach our nation for God while restoring godliness and morality in America. We work alongside and in cooperation with networked churches, agencie

s and community based organizations in orders to provide specialized services to those in self-defeating crisis and others who have life controlling problems trapped in idolatry. Teaching personal responsibility and teaching the rational whole counsel of God’s Grace.

Our goals and efforts are fueled by the desire to strengthen families and communities by providing healing to emotionally disturbed and behaviorally defiant young adults; who find themselves trapped in the web of drugs, alcohol, fornication, violence, and rebellion. These life controlling or self damaging behaviors are simply a set of complex surface problems that have slowly formed in response to unresolved and underlying deep seated issues in their mind. The lack of internal mental harmony results in irrational actions on the surface. They emerge from lack of control of emotions and therefore the free volition is compromised by corrupted value systems and integrity. We look at everyone as an individual because God has made us with wonderful uniqueness and are completely beautiful in His divine design. We must encourage this uniqueness and make religious cultural demands to have them conform to what we believe is a reflection of Christ. No one is the same and can be helped by the same strategies over and over. Our observation is that this is why most young adults have revealed in numerous statistically proven studies to have honest desires to never return to church or traditional Christianity. A very small percentage does return later in lives which are usually second or third generation believers.

This mass exodus with over 9 million young adults is growing by the hour and young adults are one of the largest Christian un-reached group in America today. These unreached young adults will not go to church before the reach 18. This generation is becoming extinct and lost more than any other generation in the church today.
We are convinced that these problems in our society root back to the sinful nature and the compromising of Christian values in this present post-Christian world system. We believe that a sure solution can be found in and only when God, family, and church join in a collaborative effort with singleness of purpose to bring about healing and the restoration of authority in the lives of troubled young adults. Young Adult Crisis Hotline is committed to spiritual nurturing the whole person. We also provide seminars and training methods to develop relevant young adult ministries in local church and in Christian community centers at no cost.

Our Ministry

Young Adult Crisis Hotline is a faith-based, nonprofit organization for families in crisis. We offer help through an established network of ministries. Oftentimes those we help defiant unmotivated young adults that are involved in immoral lifestyles.

The Young Adult Crisis Hotline provides an accepting non-judgmental place to call in the midst of crisis caused by these self-defeating and life controlling behaviors:

Anxiety, Depression, Abuse, Addiction, Relational Issues, Family Abuse Or Assault, Addictions, Aggression, Anger, Anxiety & Panic, Attention Deficit Disorder, Behavioral Problems, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Problems Gender Identity Issues, Grief, Loss, Inner Conflict, Learning Disorders, Life Issues, Life Transitions, Medical Problems, Suicidal, Active Military & Veteran Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Self-Esteem Problems, Sexual Issues, Stress, Women’s Issues, Gang Intervention, Gambling And Other Life Controlling Problems And Issues That Lead To Crisis.

With our family discipleship and our biblical counseling ministry we believe in including family members so that they are integrated in the process of biblical education and equipping. This is vital to the progress of patterning that they can model after and build upon the disciplines taught in the Word of God. This is accomplished through Bible based counseling that helps to have a rational integrated mind of Christ. Biblical Coaching and Counseling can be arranged via phone-conference, in-person or at the family’s residence. Organized parent workshops allow interaction between families who face similar situations. Participants are able to encourage one another as they walk through the healing and recovery process of their loved ones.
All of these different services combined address the needs of the whole person by providing spiritual nurturing, recreation, vocational training, academic achievement, health and social development all in one program. We, at the Young Adult Crisis Hotline and Biblical Counseling Center, are convinced that this is the solution to strengthening families and communities throughout America.

Young Adult Biblical Counseling Center offers families a therapeutic rational spiritual treatment plan. Rather than subjecting our students to the limitations of behavior management models which primarily have an effect on the outward man, the focus is on spiritual renewal resulting in inner-transformation through a personal relationship with the integrated mind of Jesus Christ.

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Homosexuality – Questions & Answers to Research

 homosexuality

1. Does Having Homosexual Fantasies Mean You Are Homosexual?

A homosexual is a person who has ONGOING erotic and romantic desire for, and sexual involvement with the same sex. To be ‘gay’ is more of a social (and political) statement, in which a homosexual person embraces a lifestyle and identity that is supportive of homosexuality. There are many people who do have homosexual feelings, but would not describe themselves as `gay’. There are people who have brief, experimental homosexual involvements, but that would not make them ‘homosexuals’.

The presence of routine homosexual fantasies would probably indicate some degree of homosexual orientation, stronger for some, less so for others. Such fantasies need not automatically result in life-long homosexual involvement. There are many people who have never acted on their homosexual attractions. However, like any appetite, the more one ‘feeds’ the urge (through pornography, fantasy and masturbation), the stronger the urge becomes. This will increase the chances for homosexual involvement. Should this occur, many male homosexuals particularly demonstrate an ever-increasing pattern of sexual encounters? It’s a matter of cultivation and conditioning. As sexual involvement becomes routine to frequent, a pattern similar to an addiction emerges: A life centered around sex, and a loss of control resulting in the person taking big risks to reputation and health – yet never really finding the long term love and intimacy so deeply craved. It is a frustrating and typical cycle that can, however, be broken with courage, determination and support.

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2. Are Homosexuals "Born" or "Made"?

Some homosexuals comfort themselves with the thought that their feelings could be biologically programmed within, beyond choice or any personal responsibility. Gay activists claim that homosexuals are born gay, and that homosexuality should therefore be viewed as normal and natural. Yet, others with a homosexual orientation feel trapped by such logic, fearing they are hopeless victims of a genetic fate they want no part of.

Certainly, people don’t choose to develop homosexual feelings. But that does not mean one is born pre-programmed to be forever homosexual. We are not bio-robots. And we cannot ignore environmental influences and our reactions to such influences. Even if some types of homosexuality occur as a ‘product’ of nature, does that make it desirable or normal? Nature produces a host of biologically influenced conditions, such as depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, diabetes … but we don’t consider these `normal’ just because they occur ‘naturally’. So why is homosexuality given a different status? It is also worth noting that there are now some in the academic realm suggesting that adult sexual attraction to children could also be the product of an inherent biological influence. If proven true, would this mean we approve of sex between adults and children?

There are those who also believe that if homosexuality has a biological ‘origin’, then religious prohibitions against homosexual acts should be disregarded as irrelevant in the light of modern scientific discovery. Advocates of this thinking don’t understand however, that when a religion declares certain human behaviors to be wrong, such as homosexual acts, it doesn’t matter if there is a biological origin or not. In fact, such scientific discovery would only confirm what ancient religious writings already state: our present human condition is flawed, both biologically and psychologically. Religious writings make clear that humanity consequently struggles with many inherent and harmful weaknesses. Yet, it is also clear that we are intended to overcome and master our natural tendencies and weaknesses. Rather than justifying and indulging them habitually.

In spite of the many theories and even recent but in conclusive genetic and brain-related research, there is still no scientifically accepted evidence proving that homosexuals are "born gay". However, if science one day confirms a genetic or other hormonal bio-influence encouraging homosexual development, not all those involved in homosexuality would have this influence within them. And as has been clearly stated by genetic researchers, those with such a possible influence would not be obligated to be homosexual. For example, some scientists believe that there are people born with bio-influences toward alcoholism, drug addiction, criminal behavior and even divorce. But does that mean such persons are required to become, and therefore remain addicts and criminals? Biology may influence, but it doesn’t automatically justify every possible resulting behavior. Neither does it eliminate personal responsibility, will, conscience or our ability to choose whether we will control or be controlled by our weaknesses.

 

3. What Would Be Other Factors in Encouraging the Development of Homosexuality?

Science has yet to prove an absolute biological cause of all 10 types of homosexuality, however, there is data underscoring the view that some types of homosexuality are the result of problems in psychological development. Even though homosexuals may have differing backgrounds, many also have similar trends and patterns in their histories

83% of the men and almost 70% of the women reported being victims of sexual abuse or molest, before the age of 12. Additionally, well over 90% reported the sense of being neglected or unloved in childhood especially by the parent of the same sex. 40% reported physical abuse.

Another common trend in is an unfortunate history of being ridiculed and labeled ‘homosexual" during their pre-teen and teen years. Labeling has tremendous power to damage and alter self image. Abuse and neglect don’t necessarily result in homosexuality — but such experiences are universally typical of many who have sexual identity and orientation problems. I agree with many professionals who view stereotypical homosexuality as a symptom of arrested emotional and gender identity development. Why? It is clear from experts in developmental psychology, before children grow into healthy, heterosexual maturity; they pass through necessary "pre-heterosexual" phases or stages. After babyhood, but before adolescence, we must satisfactorily navigate through same-sex identification and bonding stage, (approximately between ages of 4-14 years). Accomplishing this security/identity building phase enables progress toward opposite sex relating.

The same-

sex phase is very observable, especially in boys, who, at the time, are not particularly romantically or sexually inclined toward girls, but are very concerned with and involved in same-sex relationships. Before boys grow up into men who "risk" their egos in pursuit of the opposite sex, they must first be identified with, accepted and affirmed as "one of the guys", by the rest of the guys.

Modern psychoanalytical research has well documented that when healthy parent-child bonding does not occur in early childhood, a deficit or "hunger" for love and security is created. It is especially damaging when the child and parent of the same sex do not effectively bond (for whatever reasons). The child’s identity and security in sender role will not properly develop. This in turn will affect — perhaps even sabotage — future relating with peers of both the same and opposite sex. In such cases, the child is often unable to conform to, or be comfortable with expected gender-role performance. This sense of ‘difference’ further alienates the child from engaging in satisfying relationships which should serve to solidify security and identity.

The resulting hunger for love and security is painful and the need for identity completion makes the child very vulnerable. A child in this situation is driven or compelled to compensate in some way for what is `missing’. Typically, the child emotionally detaches from the same-sex parent (abandons hope) and focuses onto the next perceived source of emotional and identity-securing nourishment: same sex peers. This pre-homosexual condition emerges as exaggerated yearnings toward the same sex: a desire to be wanted, cherished and protected (legitimate needs that the parental bond should have satisfied). Yet due to insecurity and a sense of inadequacy, here to, effective same sex bonding does not occur. The child is attracted to and admires, yet is fearful and envious of the same sex. Consequently, a same-sex fixation develops, resulting in arrested development toward heterosexuality, eventually the exaggerated and symptomatic emotional dependence on the same sex becomes "sexualized" with the onset of puberty, or earlier if the child has been prematurely sexualized due to molest or imprinted exposure to pornography. (This dependence or fixation is not to be confused with typical and temporary teen infatuation.) In this example, this type of psychologically driven homosexuality is a faulty attempt to satisfy legitimate, non-sexual security and identity needs. While this simplified and general view does not represent every homosexual, it is true (based on client histories) for a majority of ‘stereotypical’ homosexuals. Ultimately, homosexuality is not so much about "love" or "sex". It’s about need.

Understanding this, it is obvious then, that rejecting homosexual persons is a tragic mistake. Indeed, love, understanding and affirmation is what they need. Yet accepting and loving the homosexual person does not mean that we, in mistaken compassion, declare homosexuality to be "normal".

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4. There Are Those Who Would Argue That Homosexuality Cannot Be Changed. Nor Should It Need To Be. What Do You Say?

After two decades of pro-gay influence in the American Psychoanalytic Association, the concept of offering treatment for those unhappy with their homosexual orientation has practically been abandoned. Until recently, therapists of the last 25 years were given little training beyond encouraging their homosexually-oriented clients to embrace that orientation as the only realistic route to mental health and happier living. The assumption is that homosexual orientation cannot be modified to any degree. And in the age of western political correctness, gay activists would add that such orientation should not need to be changed. Regardless of one’s life philosophy, the fact remains: not all who are homosexually-oriented want to be. They do not wish to be identified by, nor be driven by homosexual desires which distress them. Relinquishing themselves to such impulses will never be tolerable, due to moral convictions or quite simply an unwillingness to be homosexual for other reasons. Pro-homosexual activists and therapists do not speak for all who have a homosexual orientation.

Some pro-gay therapists insist it is unethical to offer treatment of homosexuality, declaring the condition to be uncorrectable. Suggesting recovery as an option is not only a false hope, claim gay advocates, but is also offensive for daring to imply that homosexuality could somehow be less desirable than heterosexuality. Perhaps with good intentions, and to appear "progressive", many western therapists have unfortunately bought into this one-sided logic at the expense of those desiring and deserving professional treatment toward the goal of overcoming homosexuality.

Regardless of how defensive some are of the "goodness" and normalcy of homosexuality, there are many who have recovered — or who are in recovery — from this condition. This is no different than for other life-controlling problems, such as alcoholism: some degree of relapse risk remains, but behavior and impulses do change, and life is improved — though not perfected. The fact is, many therapists, particularly in America and Western Europe have grown weary with both pro-gay lobbying and one-sided ‘give up and be gay" counsel offered to those with a homosexual orientation.

There are well respected therapists and experts, in this field with recent and long-standing published works underscoring the truth that homosexually-oriented people can:

  1. Change behavior — that is, withstood homosexual involvement,
  2. Modify, reduce, manage and in some cases, practically eliminate homosexual impulses and attraction —
  3. And in many cases (though not all), experience satisfying heterosexual adjustment.

Even if for most, there could not be a complete elimination of possible homosexual attraction, the reduction and management of such feelings could be very desirable and attainable as a vast improvement over a life formerly driven and limited by such impulses. Obviously, the only people who truly feel threatened and offended by the concept of recovery are western gay activists who are pushing for civil rights based on the racial premise of an inherent, unchangeable condition. Such activism has done much to prevent fairer presentation of the facts regarding recovery.

Because some degree of recovery from homosexuality is attainable for those with motivation and support, I and those professionals with whom I work believe it is unethical to fail to offer the option of treatment toward the goal of recovery, when desired. A therapist who may feel skeptical or ideologically opposed to the recovery option should at least be professional enough to provide an appropriate referra

l, rather than attempt to convince the client to embrace homosexuality as the only option.

*To address the concerns of those desiring recovery, to ensure their right to obtain professional treatment, and to counter one-sided pro- homosexual propaganda in the professional community, scores of doctors and therapists have joined a new, rapidly growing Organization: National Association For Research and Therapy Of Homosexuality (NARTH). For more information contact NARTH, 16542 Ventura Blvd, #416, Encino, CA 91436, USA.

5. There Are Critics of Your Efforts Who Say that People Who Attempt To Overcome Homosexuality Are Just "Martyrs", Repressing Their True Sexuality … Or That People Who Did Change Were Never True Homosexuals To Begin With. And What About Those Who Tried To Change but Went Back to Homosexuality?

I’ll answer the last point first. Regrettably, every recovery program has its "failure rate". There are those who begin the recovery journey and then decide it’s not what they want … or frankly, they decide it’s too hard … and it IS difficult in the beginning. Unfortunately, not only do clients sometimes fall back or give up — but counselors, pastors, therapists and psychiatrists are also not immune to sexual desire. Many professionals have been victims of their own misunderstandings, passions and wrong choices. Tragically, when leaders and counselors have moral failures, especially in my specific field, this not only results in personal consequences, but also discredits recovery.

Though sexual feelings are powerful, cultivated to the level of addiction, I find that the real problem isn’t hormones or even desire for intimacy that unravels recovery. It’s usually immaturity. These patterns show up in many ways: as in a lack of self control. Or in unrealistic expectations, where they thinks that he should one day start lusting after the opposite sex to the degree that he did for the same sex. Or that he should have amnesia, as if his homosexual history never happened…

As for the argument that ‘those who changed were never really true gays", many would find this rationale laughable, and could ask, "What would one need to do to qualify as a true homosexual?" I’ve heard the argument before, and it goes on to imply that those who changed were really meant to be straight, and they were just confused and eventually the true preference emerged. Well, if this is so, then the gay underworld must be filled with many confused pseudo gays … who should be straight and they just don’t know it. Therefore, rather than criticize our efforts, gay advocates should encourage us to weed out the pseudo gays from the “real ones ".

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6. The Homosexual Issue Has Also Created Controversy in the Religious Arena. Some Say God Condemns Homosexuals. Others Say Homosexuality Is a Gift from God. What Is Your Opinion?

Many with a homosexual orientation are quite interested in matters of faith, particularly the Christian faith. This is due to the longstanding and global influence of the Judeo-Christian ethic regarding homosexuality. Based on my research of the Scriptures, combined with my exposure to pro-gay theology, and my study of many works by theological experts on the subject of sexuality and homosexuality, here are my conclusions.

  • Homosexual orientation is one of many weaknesses affecting humanity. Those with this orientation are NOT excluded from God’s love, nor are they less of a person in His sight. Those wanting to enter religious service should be allowed to do so, provided they are not homosexually active, and they control, not cultivate their homosexual orientation. It is clear from Scripture that all who claim allegiance to Christ are required to obey God’s general sexual standard: No sex outside of the covenant of heterosexual marriage. Why? For protection of self and others, as sex has the power of life and death. Additionally, those who follow the way of Christ have been purchased by God, and are not free to live in any manner they wish. They are to honor God and the creative/ destructive power of sex by keeping themselves sexually pure. Certainly, nowhere in Scripture can one substantiate the recent claims that God makes people gay, or that God blesses homosexual unions. (see 1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
  • Homosexual acts however are defined as a violation of God’s design and intent for sexuality as is all sex outside the heterosexual marriage covenant. The original languages of Scripture (and use in context) are not vague concerning this point. The New Testament has more specific comments than the Old Testament, but both units are in agreement in regarding homosexual acts as "sin", meaning ‘to disobey", and ‘missing God’s intent". It is obvious from Scripture that sexual sin is pleasurable and can be emotionally satisfying. But ultimately, it is self defeating and can be self destructive.
  • It is also clear from Scripture that forgiveness and reconciliation with God, and opportunity for a different life are available to all who will return to God, submitting to His standards. This is true for homosexuals, as is evident in the New Testament example of the church in Corinth: ex-adulterers, ex-prostitutes and ex-homosexuals were included as members of the church family. (See 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11.)
  • Typical to the "opinionated" and individualistic West, there are two clashing religious views about homosexuality: the fundamentalist view (‘stone them’) versus the liberal view (‘no, ordain them"). The New Testament Scriptures address these extremes with balanced counsel: the harsh and judgmental are warned not to look upon homosexuals with contempt, unless they too wish to be judged as they judge. Yet, there is also a stern warning for those considering a more "accommodating" perspective: beware of those who would teach that God’s favor and ‘grace" allow for sex outside of the heterosexual marriage covenant. (See Romans 1 & 2: 1-4 & Jude vs.4.)
  • As for Jesus, he did not specifically mention homosexuality. But then, he never mentioned incest, rape or bestiality for that matter. He probably had no need to address these concerns as they were clearly regarded as moral sin in his day. However, Jesus did uphold the Old Testament moral law which addressed homosexuality as sin (Jesus only did away with the ceremonial and symbolic aspects of the Old Testament Law … but he made a clear point that the (moral) Law governing human relationships would remain). Jesus showed mercy to those guilty of violating moral law — such as the woman caught in adultery. Yet He also commanded her to obey God with this second chance, and leave her life of sexual sin.
  • The Old and New Testaments provide examples from Hebrew and Aramaic cultures of same-sex relationships that were intense (Jonathan and . David), loyal and s

    upportive (Ruth and Naomi), and affectionate (Jesus and the Disciple John). But, as the original languages especially make clear, these loving, same-sex bonds were not homosexual. To interpret them as such is to misunderstand ancient Hebrew culture and the fact that heterosexual people universally enjoy intimate, emotionally satisfying same-sex relationships without a hint of homosexual interest.

In weaknesses, and honest, confessed struggles with sexuality, need not separate us from a loving, understanding God. In fact, scripture makes clear that such problems should instead, propel us to Him, for His comfort, assurance and help! The Scriptures inspire hope that our sexual problems are indeed understandable, forgivable and correctable with God’s help. Yet, scripture also warns that God will not exempt us from the often painful consequences of our disobedient choices. Neither will He settle for less than first place in our lives: Weakness may not offend Him. But to make one’s lifestyle, relationships, or sexuality of more importance is offensive to the One who desires us to seek Him even more than we seek to please ourselves.

7. Wouldn’t Promiscuity among Homosexuals Decrease If "Being Gay", and Gay Weddings Were Socially Accepted?

Perhaps for some, promiscuity would decrease. The research is clear that it is possible, but probably not for many, especially among gay males. According to research, gay males unlike lesbians are much less likely to sustain faithfulness to a partner. This fact is not the result of intolerant societies. Rather, it is a reflection of the dynamics in the male-male union, and the underlying unmet needs driving the homosexual. A smaller percentage of "lifestyle’ homosexual males do have lengthy and sometimes very stable, satisfying relationships. But many more unions are often admittedly "open" partnerships in which infidelity is considered an enhancement of the relationship. Some who argue for increasing acceptance claim that it will reduce the incidence of promiscuity common to the gay lifestyle. They say that an un-accepting society simply drives homosexuals into a shadowy, promiscuous "underground", but legitimizing and de-stigmatizing homosexuality would end this risky activity. Would it? In general, modern experience, sociological information, medical statistics and historical record reveal just the opposite: when society relaxes the sexual standards and becomes more permissive in attitude, then society becomes more promiscuous in behavior, not less so. As for social acceptance, "lifestyle" homosexuals are an influential subculture in many developed countries. Far from oppressed, they live openly in major urban areas around the world. In cities such as New York and San Francisco, they have "settled" entire city districts and have gay churches, gay clubs, gay businesses, gay dating services, gay theatres, gay parades, gay senior citizens groups, gay travel agencies and more. There are gay weddings. And homosexuals are acquiring the privilege of adopting children in some places. In spite of all this increased opportunity to live as outwardly as they wish, the pattern of promiscuity has not significantly changed. Even in the "progressive" and AIDS-conscious West, multiple anonymous sex encounters are still a way of life for thousands, with or without "protection". In spite of an accommodating culture, this behavior, so typical of many in the "lifestyle", is evidence of either extreme self indulgence, or destructive addiction. Will even greater social "approval" change it?

9. How Do You Help People with Homosexual Problems?

First, people will have to want our help. Obviously, not all homosexuals want to change. Some view their condition as unchangeable and seek to make it a positive part of their lives. However, those contacting us have pretty much made up their minds: They want to change and they want help. Many have attempted to live the "gay life" — sometimes, doing so for several years. Ultimately, they were not satisfied and also admitted to a deep moral conflict within that would not go away no matter how much they tried to embrace a liberal, pro-homosexual viewpoint. In today’s more permissive societies, people generally have the freedom to pursue their homosexuality if so desired. Yet those seeking to overcome a homosexual condition deserve our support in pursuing this option.

To sum it up, recovery from homosexuality is about "growth". Quite literally those in recovery "grow beyond" their same sex fixation and "grow out of" their homosexuality. This growth, however, is a lengthy process — lengthier for some than others. And for many, "recovery" will mean a lifetime commitment. Recovery programs like ours don’t solve every problem. We don’t claim to. We view the recovery process as a gradual progression to and through important goals.

Some of these goals include:

  • Regaining self-control.
  • Unmasking the underlying beliefs and defense mechanisms that block growth and fuel impulses.
  • Learning to recognize, and satisfy needs for intimacy and security in healthy, non-sexual ways.
  • Resolving conflicts stemming from childhood trauma and rejection.
  • Developing beneficial self management skills.
  • Growing in relationship with God and others.

Volumes of books have been written detailing "how" all this is accomplished, from both clinical and theological perspectives.

Relearning ways of living, coping and relating are not easy. Understandably, overcoming homosexuality is a challenge many prefer not to face. Clinical studies conclude that those who do overcome the control of homosexuality need two ingredients for success: a tenacious and persevering motivation, and support of others who believe in their effort.

Why does God allow failure?

  • failure
  • For the believer, every failure can be a stepping stone to success.
  • Failure is an ugly word. No one likes it. Everyone is subject to its attacks.
  • There are no ideal situations in which failure cannot become a reality.
  • The first man and woman God created were placed in an environment perfectly suited for them. And yet they failed miserably.
  • Throughout the Scriptures, many of God’s servants suffered failures. The most successful men and women in history have experienced failure.
  • Why do some who fail at first go on to succeed while others do not? Those who eventually succeed are the ones who understand the difference between temporary defeat and failure. They look beyond life’s occasional setbacks and refuse to be completely undone by the obstacles that confront them.

The causes of some failures are not quite as clear as others. When we have given our best, why does God allow us to experience failure?

  • God is not the cause of our failure though He does allow it.
  • Even though we are His children and want what is best, why do we still experience failure? We do not always know what is best. Then, sometimes, we allow ourselves to become sidetracked. Our priorities get out of order; our motivation becomes selfish; Christ is no longer the center of our lives.
  • Failure is God’s way of getting our attention, humbling us, disciplining us, and bringing us back to Himself.
  • Sometimes God uses a painful failure to express His fatherly love toward us.
  • Remember, there is a difference between failing and being a failure. It is never God’s intention to make us become failures.
  • However, He sometimes allows us to fail today in order to bring us success tomorrow.
  • God has planted in your every defeat the seeds of your future success.
  • Successful people are those who apply God’s remedy for failure: humbling themselves before Him in repentance, surrendering to His will and His goals for their lives.
  • For the believer, every failure can be a stepping stone to success.

FAILURE

The inability of a system or system component to perform a required function within specified limits.

Some of the Causes of Personal Failure:

1) ARROGANCE

PROVERBS 16:18: Pride Goth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

2) DISOBEDIENCE

DEUTERONOMY 11:28: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn aside out of the way which I command you this day, to go after other gods, which ye have not known.

3) DOUBT

JAMES 1:6: But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

4) DISCOURAGEMENT

GAL 6:9: And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

RECOVERY:

Act of regaining the position, regaining, or retaking possession.

1) INVITE JESUS IN TO FAILURE

2) ADMIT YOUR EFFORT FAILED

3) OBEY WHATEVER HE TELL YOU

4) EXPECT JESUS TO TURN THINGS AROUND

These are interesting Thoughts below:

  • The most destructive habit…………………………Worry
  • The greatest Joy…………………………………Giving
  • The greatest loss……………………Loss of self-respect
  • The most satisfying work…………………..Helping others
  • The ugliest personality trait…………………Selfishness
  • The most endangered species……………..Dedicated leaders
  • Our greatest natural resource…………………..Our youth
  • The greatest “shot in the arm”………………Encouragement
  • The greatest problem to overcome…………………….Fear
  • The most effective sleeping pill…………….Peace of mind
  • The most crippling failure disease………………..Excuses
  • The most powerful force in life……………………..Love
  • · The most dangerous pariah……………………..A gossiper
  • The world’s most incredible computer…………….The brain
  • The worst thing to be without…. . Hope
  • · The deadliest weapon………………………….The tongue
  • The two most power-filled words………………….I Can
  • · The greatest asset…………. …………………….Faith
  • The most worthless emotion…………………….Self-pity
  • · The most beautiful attire…………………………SMILE!
  • The most prized possession……………………. Integrity
  • The most powerful channel of communication………….Prayer
  • The most contagious spirit…………………….Enthusiasm

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Biblical Counseling to the Addicted

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INTRODUCTION

I. Establish Involvement

A. Biblical Examples

Acts 20:31 — “Therefore be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears.”

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 — “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.”

B. Definition

Building a relationship with the counselee where you put yourself in a position to help

Proverbs 27:6, 9b — “…So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.”

The counselee needs to see the counselor as a trusted friend or advisor.

Recognize that the counselee may never have had such a relationship before.

C. How Involvement Is Established

1. Be available (Acts 20:31; but keep balance of Gal. 6:2 and 6:5).

2. Show compassion.

3. Take counselee seriously.

4. Express confidence in counselee’s ability to obey Scripture.

5. Receive counselee’s disagreements without being defensive.

6. Observe confidentiality.

7. Be honest.

8. Model fruit of the Spirit.

9. Communicate clearly.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Be solution-oriented.

II. Gather Data

A. Why Gather Data

1. Which one? 1 Thess. 5:14

2. Which approach? John 4:7-42

3. What is true issue? Jer. 6:14

B. What Kind of Data to Gather

All categories of life

P—Physical

R—Resources and Relationships

E—Emotions

A—Actions

C—Conceptual (Thinking)

H—Historical

C. How to Gather Data

Ask proper questions:

1. Extensive and intensive

2. Relevant

3. Questions that find facts

4. Open-ended

5. Specific

6. Withhold judgment.

7. Mark important areas for further questioning.

8. Observe countenance.

9. Information from others

D. Importance of Listening

1. Necessary (Prov. 18:13)

2. Requires self-control

3. Listen for:

- Wrong goals

- Expectations/lusts

- Blameshifting

- “Can’t,” “unable,” “too much”

- Victim mentality

- Calling sin sickness

- “Rabbit trails”

- What counselee doesn’t say

- Hopelessness

- Evasiveness

- Exaggerations

- Defensiveness

- Judging another’s motives

- Willingness to accept responsibility

bible-counsel

III. Make a Proper Interpretation

A. Example of Interpretation

Mark 6:45-52

B. The Process of Interpretation

1. Compare all data and responses to God’s Word and example of Christ.

2. Look for themes and patterns.

3. Use biblical labels and terms (Mk. 7:21-23; Gal. 5:19-21).

4. Put data on “witness stand” and ask it questions.

5. Prayerfully study data.

6. Form tentative interpretations (USE SCRIPTURE).

7. Pray.

8. Gather more data.

9. Get input from another counselor.

10. Explain to counselee and get feedback.

11. Form a strategy—prioritize.

IV. Provide Instruction

A. The Nature of Counseling Instruction

1. Biblically based and accurate

2. Christocentric

3. Action-oriented

4. Differentiate between biblical directives and human suggestions.

5. Make method appropriate to counselee’s learning style.

B. The Development of Counseling Instruction

1. Topical work lists

2. Personalized chain-reference Bible

3. Become familiar with particular teachers and material

4. Take advantage of training resources

V. Give Homework

A. Reasons for Homework

1. Translates what is discussed into action.

2. Puts responsibility for change where it belongs.

3. Helps decrease dependence.

4. Saves you time–finds those who mean business.

5. Continues counseling between sessions.

6. Says you believe things can be different today.

7. Provides data for future.

B. Mechanics of Homework

1. Be specific.

2. Make it involve knowing and acting.

3. Review at next session.

4. Examples:

- Scripture

- Pamphlets

- Books

- Tapes

- “Log” lists

- Journals

- Devotions

- Church attendance

- Loving deeds

VI. Give Hope

A. The Need for Hope

1. Generally…everyone (2 Cor. 4:8)

2. Specifically…those who:

- Have had problems for a long time

- Have serious or difficult problems

- Have had life-shattering experiences

- Have failed

- Are spiritually weak

- Are elderly

- Experiencing marriage diffic

ulties

- Are facing marriage

- Are depressed

- Are suicidal

…ALL COUNSELEES

B. True Hope vs. Empty Hope

EMPTY HOPE

- Due to wrong goals

- Denying reality

- Due to mystical thinking

TRUE HOPE

- Result of salvation (1 Pet. 1:3)

- Based upon Scripture (Psa. 119:49; Psa. 130:5)

- Realistic (Rom. 8:28)

C. How to Inspire Hope

1. Share the whole gospel.

2. Help them grow in relationship to Christ.

3. Teach counselee to think biblically.

- About God’s character

- About possibility for good

- About divine resources

- About nature and cause of the problem

- About language used

4. Be solution-oriented.

5. Be a model.

CONCLUSION

The bottom line of biblical counseling:

Gather information, make a biblical interpretation of the issues, and give a biblical answer (along with true hope that living to please God is possible). All this is done in the context of genuine love and concern for the individual.

Compulsive Gambling

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One dictionary definition of gambling is, ‘the act or practice of consciously risking money or other stakes without being certain of the outcome’. This definition, however, does not adequately explain all that gambling involves. A more precise definition, which takes account of all the factors involved in gambling, may be stated thus: ‘Gambling is an act by which one party consciously risks money or other stakes in the hope of gaining at someone else’s expense (I.e., if I win, he loses, and vice-versa), without giving anything of value in terms of goods in return (to the person from whom one has gained).’

It is immediately obvious from the last part of this definition that gambling is sinful. It involves breaking the eighth commandment: ‘Thou shalt not steal’. Gambling is basically an attempt to gain something at someone else’s expense without giving adequate value in return. The fact that the parties involved agree to this transaction is irrelevant and cannot justify it, any more than the fact that two men agree to fight a duel justifies one of the men killing the other. An agreement to do something wrong is itself wrong. If the one who gambles wins, he is a thief; if he loses, he is guilty of wasting that which the Lord has given to him in trust, whether money or property.

“The Federal Drug Administration estimates sport wagers at $70 billion in 1984. Even that number may be conservative. In 1981 the National Football League made its own estimate that pro football alone was attracting $50 billion a season. . . . It is not being overly dramatic to say that gambling poisons the atmosphere of any game it comes near.

Compulsive gambling is a disorder characterized by an overwhelming, uncontrollable obsession to gamble.

Among some of the typical behavior patterns associated with pathological or compulsive gambling are: a preoccupation with gambling; spending more time or money than can reasonably be afforded; and continuing to gamble despite adverse consequences that affect family, relationships, or educational or vocational pursuits.

Non-pathological and pathological gambling are currently stratified into four levels according to severity of consequences:

  • Level 0 – Non-gamblers
  • Level 1 – Social Gamblers – no ill effects from gambling
  • Level 2 – Problem Gamblers – some significant negative consequences due to gambling
  • Level 3 – Compulsive Gamblers – suffer severe consequences that can include financial devastation, divorce or damaged relationships, impaired physical or emotional health, job loss, and legal difficulties. People affected by compulsive gambling are at higher risk for suicide than most other populations.

A recent comprehensive study on gambling prevalence in the United States and Canada indicates that young people are particularly at risk for developing a severe gambling problem, with a rate of more than twice that of the general adult population. The study also shows that at least 13% of all college students will experience some form of a gambling problem in their lives. At least 90% of all adolescents will have gambled at least once by age 18. (Harvard School of Public Health)

Compulsive gambling shares many characteristics of other addictions, and is often called the invisible addiction. Latest views of this problem consider it more an addictive behavior than an impulse control disorder. When losing, compulsive gamblers become emotionally caught up in trying to win back losses, and when winning become overconfident that they will win more.

Gambling behavior which causes disruptions in any major area of life: psychological, physical, social or vocational. The term "Problem Gambling" includes, but is not limited to, the condition known as "Pathological", or "Compulsive" Gambling, a progressive addiction characterized by increasing preoccupation with gambling, a need to bet more money more frequently, restlessness or irritability when attempting to stop, "chasing" losses, and loss of control manifested by continuation of the gambling behavior in spite of mounting, serious, negative consequences.

Gambling, both legal and illegal, is a phenomenon gaining unprecedented acceptance. Because it is so widespread, Christians must look at this activity to determine the ethical and moral implications.

Gambling Defined

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Advocates of gambling often try to place this activity in the same category as other ventures which involve risk. They describe farming, business, insurance, and even investments as gambling because the outcome is unpredictable and losses can occur. In this way they hope to transfer the respectability of legitimate ventures to gambling.

L. M. Starkey, Jr., has made the following helpful observation: Life does have its normal risks which one must accept with faith and courage. These normal risks are in no sense equivalent to the risks in a game of chance. Gambling devises artificial risks in the hope of excessive gain far beyond what the investment of time, money, or skill would justify. In gambling the chance is unrelated to any creative effort called for by the farmer or the stockbroker in the responsible investment of his mental, monetary, and physical funds.

To distinguish gambling from risks involved in legitimate venture it will be helpful to recognize three factors integral to gambling: (1) An incentive consisting of money or merchandise is offered. (2) The prize is acquired primarily on the basis of chance. (3) A payment of money or other consideration is required to become involved in the chance taken.

Gambling then is recognized as any activity in which wealth changes hands, mainly on the basis of chance and with risk to the gambler. Creative effort, useful skills, and responsible investment are not integral factors.

Be

cause gambling exists in many forms and people in increasing numbers are exposed to its temptations, the responsible Christian must form an opinion concerning its propriety. The legalization of gambling by government or its acceptance by some religious organizations cannot be a criterion for evaluation. The Christian attitude must be determined by the principles of Scripture.

God’s Attitude Toward Gambling

God’s people in Bible times apparently were not greatly tempted with gambling. It seems the vice manifested itself only when Israel was dominated by heathen nations. When gambling did occur God clearly indicated His attitude concerning it.

During their Babylonian captivity the Israelites came under the influence of people who gambled. As a result some of the captives also became involved. To these people God through Isaiah said, "But ye are they that forsake the Lord, that forget my holy mountain, that prepare a table for that troop, and that furnish the drink offering unto that number" (Isaiah 65:11). As indicated in some modern translations of the Bible, the Hebrew words translated "troop" and "number" were names of the heathen gods "Gad" and "Meni." To the heathen, Gad was the giver of good luck. Meni was the god of bad luck.

The translation of Isaiah 65:11 by James Moffat is as follows: "But ye who have forsaken the Eternal, ye who ignore his sacred hill, spreading tables to Good Luck, pouring libations to Fate, I make the sword your fate."

E. H. Plumptre, late Dean of Wells, has pointed out that Gad was worshipped as the greater fortune, the giver of good luck. Meni was worshipped as the lesser fortune. George Rawlinson, who at one time served as professor of Ancient History at Oxford, has indicated the name Meni "designated a deity who apportions men’s fortunes to them."

The sin for which some of the Israelites were condemned was trusting in luck rather than God. Isaiah made it clear that trust in God and trust in luck cannot coexist. If people rely on chance it is evident they do not rely on God. Isaiah described those who trusted in gambling as "they that forsake the Lord" (Isaiah 65:11).

Biblical Principles

A careful reading of Scripture makes it clear there are numerous Biblical principles which indicate gambling is an evil to be avoided. When people recognize God’s authority they will honor the principles which indicate gambling is evil.

1. Gambling is wrong because it is a disregard of responsible stewardship.

The Bible clearly teaches that all things belong to God. "The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein" (Psalm 24:1). Since all things belong to God, man is placed in the position of a steward who must give a proper accounting for everything given to him in trust.

The first step in a faithful administration of this stewardship is the giving of self to God. The believer must recognize he is not his own (1 Corinthians 6:19). He has been redeemed with a price, not of silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Jesus (1 Peter 1:18,19). The churches of Macedonia set a worthy example of personal dedication when they "first gave their own selves to the Lord" (2 Corinthians 8:5). Life, with all it involves, is a stewardship to be administered for the glory of God.

People who honestly dedicate themselves to God will also recognize that all they possess must be handled as a stewardship. The Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30) indicates that the good and faithful servants administered the talents entrusted to them in such a way that the master was pleased. The wicked and slothful servant failed in his administration and suffered the appropriate consequences.

When people recognize their stewardship responsibilities they will not consider gambling in any form a proper administration of divinely bestowed resources, time, and ability. Even the ethics of the world will not tolerate those who gamble with resources put in their trust. Christian responsibility transcends all other responsibility, and for the Christian, gambling is wrong. It is a total disregard of the principle of stewardship. It is a prostitution of God-given assets which should be used to glorify God and advance His kingdom.

2. Gambling is wrong because it involves a chance of gain at the expense and suffering of others.

The nature of gambling is such that a person has a chance of gain only because others have suffered loss. The economic benefits come only to a very few. The financial loss is borne by many who usually can least afford it. The fact that people involved in gambling are commonly referred to in derogatory terms by its promoters is an indication of the status to which they are reduced. Whether or not the financial loss is excessive, gamblers are basically losers while the operators of gambling establishments are the winners.

The suffering caused by gambling is totally inconsistent with the teaching of Scripture concerning love. Not only is the Christian to love those who are lovable, but even enemies. God’s people are to love their neighbors as themselves. The principle of love will prevent Christians from gambling because of the damage it does to others. The principle of love will cause Christians to oppose any effort by the state or any other organization to legalize any activity based on a weakness of people which degrades society.

William Temple, late Archbishop of Canterbury, stated the Christian position well when he wrote:

Gambling challenges that view of life which the Christian church exists to uphold and extend. Its glorification of mere chance is a denial of the divine order of nature. To risk money haphazardly is to disregard the insistence of the Church in every age of living faith that possessions are a trust, and that men must account to God for their use. The persistent appeal to covetousness is fundamentally opposed to the unselfishness which was taught by Jesus Christ and by the New Testament as a whole. The attempt (inseparable from gambling) to make profit out of the inevitable loss and possible suffering of others is the antithesis of that love of one’s neighbor on which our Lord insisted.

3. Gambling is wrong because it is inconsistent with the work ethic of Scripture.

Throughout Scripture the importance of work is emphasized. In several places the correlation between working and eating is stated. The Old Testament reminds us, "He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread" (Proverbs 12:11).

In the New Testament the same principle is stated with great forcefulness. To the Thessalonians Paul wrote: "When we were wi
th you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (2 Thessalonians 3:10).

Not only does the Bible require that man should work for the necessities of life, but it also warns against the something-for-nothing, get-rich-quick approach. "He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 28:20). "He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil [envious] eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him" (Proverbs 28:22). "Wealth gotten by vanity [without labor or exertion] shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labor shall increase" (Proverbs 13:11).

In the wisdom of God man was assigned work in the garden of Eden even before the Fall (Genesis 2:15ff). Though sin resulted in a change of the nature of work (Genesis 3:17,19) the responsibility of working was never rescinded. Any effort on man’s part to circumvent the work ethic of Scripture can result only in failure. Gambling, whether to secure wealth in a hurry or to place bread on the table, is inconsistent with what the Bible teaches about work.

4. Gambling is wrong because it tends to be habit-forming

Gambling, like other evils, has a tendency to become an addiction. As in the case of alcoholics and drug addicts, compulsive gamblers are dominated to the extent that they risk not only money, but everything meaningful in life. They have lost control of themselves.

This condition is contrary to the teaching of Scripture. The Word of God points out that a Christian will refuse to be brought under the power even of lawful things (1 Corinthians 6:12). The person indwelled by the Holy Spirit will be characterized by temperance, or self-control (Galatians 5:23).

Those who have studied gambling addiction seem to agree there are six symptoms characteristic of compulsive gambling: (1) The activity becomes chronically repetitive. (2) It becomes a mania which precludes all other interests, including the home. (3) A pathologic optimism replaces the ability to learn from previous losing experiences. (4) The ability to stop in a winning situation no longer exists. (5) In spite of initial decisions to gamble only so much the addict invariably risks too much. (6) The activity seems to produce an enjoyable tension consisting of both pain and pleasure.

It is obvious that habitual gamblers are under the control of the compulsion to gamble. Rather than being servants of God, they are servants of a desire they cannot handle. Paul described the condition clearly when he wrote, "Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey" (Romans 6:16). Because of the degrading possibility of addiction, gambling should be considered an evil.

 

Christian Responsibility in Relation to Gambling

When the various truths of God’s Word are considered, the Christian cannot adopt a neutral stance toward gambling. There are responsibilities which he cannot ignore.

When the Bible instructs believers, "Whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31), it certainly precludes gambling. God is not glorified when people put their trust in chance rather than in the Lord. When God’s Word teaches that we should "abstain from all appearance of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:22) it precludes gambling. There is no way in which a practice can be considered anything other than evil when it violates principles of God’s Word concerning stewardship, consideration of others and the dignity of honest labor.

Those who want to live according to Scripture will refrain from participation in any form of gambling. As the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13) they will also do all within their power to discourage the legalization of gambling, whether to raise money for charity, church, or state.

Gambling is a game of chance. It involves a conscious risk in hope of making a profit, as in playing the lottery. Greed is often the motive in gambling and is prohibited in the Ten Commandments (Exo. 20:17). Believers are to keep themselves from every type of evil (1 Thes. 5:22). Rather, the Old and New Testament teach the importance of hard work, integrity and steadfastness in achieving one’s goals (2 Thes. 3:10-12; Pro. 12:11). Those who illegally benefit from the gambling losses of others are often stealing (Pro. 20:10; Eph. 4:28).

Since institutions like the stock market also involve chance and the transfer of value from one person to another, one might ask, how do the stock market, futures, or insurance policies differ from gambling? Purchasing insurance or investing in the stock market does involve some risk. But the money is invested for the development of a business or the provision of one’s financial security. Chance is not the predominant factor. Gambling, however, is based on chance, using pure luck to acquire “easy money” or get rich quick. Some religious groups have used games of chance like bingo as a means of fund raising.

There can be serious consequences from gambling. Such things as a loss of income, indebtedness, and strained family relations are among them. Games of chance can affect the mental, emotional and spiritual health of a person and may result in addiction. Gamblers Anonymous seeks to help those who have become addicted to gambling. 

A sovereign God is Lord over all of life and is not subject to games of chance (Psa. 33:6-12; Isa. 46:8-11; Rom. 11:36). He provides for the financial needs of believers according to His will (Phi. 4:19). But He usually uses hard work, industry, and a moral lifestyle to provide for those needs.

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Casting of Lots. The casting of lots under the Mosaic Law in the Old Testament was a common practice (Num. 26:52-56; 1 Sam. 10:20-21; 1 Chr. 24:5). It was used to make decisions for God’s people. Matthias, a replacement for Judas, was chosen by lot (Acts 1:26). The early church evidently discontinued the practice, relying instead on the Holy Spirit, the principles taught by the early Apostles elders, and approval by church body (Acts 6:1-6, 13:1-2). Casting lots therefore cannot be equated with the modern idea of gambling.

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow

Scott-Andreas

Ever wondered why it’s so hard to get men involved at church? Why less than 40% of the adults in your worship services are male? Why more than a fifth of married women in your congregation sit alone every Sunday? Why the really committed ones have names like Sarah, Andrea, Victoria, and Lauren?
I studied this phenomenon for three years. What I learned drove me to write a book: Why Men Hate Going to Church. Be warned: What I found may shock you.

Most people assume that men are just less religious than women, but this is untrue. Other religions have little trouble attracting males. Jesus was a magnet to men. But today, few men are living for Christ, even as many are dying for Allah. Why do rival faiths inspire male allegiance, while ours breeds male indifference?

sleepingman
A business guru once said, "Your system is perfectly designed to give you the results you’re getting." Christianity’s primary delivery system, the local church, is perfectly designed to reach women and older folks. That’s why our pews are filled with them. But this church system fails to stir men’s hearts, so men (especially masculine ones) stay away.

What do I mean? Most churches offer a safe, nurturing community, an oasis of stability and predictability. Studies show that women and seniors are the groups most likely to seek these things. Our comforting congregations provide women with what they long for, so naturally they show up in large numbers.

On the other hand, men and young adults are drawn to risk, challenge, and daring. While our official mission is one of adventure, the actual mission of most congregations is making people feel comfortable and safe – especially longtime members (Pastors, can I have an amen?) Church insiders routinely block anything challenging or innovative because it might make people feel uncomfortable or unsafe. This caution keeps the peace in the short term, but it drives men and young adults away over the long term.


Then there’s our reputation as a place for little old ladies of both sexes. Many guys feel church is a "women’s thing." Most men are introduced to Christianity by women – nuns, nursery workers, Sunday school teachers, and mom. Boys meet a feminized Jesus – a tender, sweet man in a shining white dress. Most volunteer opportunities in church involve traditionally female roles: singing, sewing, cooking, caring for children, teaching, planning social gatherings, etc. There’s nothing for a guy to do – unless he has a passion for attending meetings or passing out bulletins.


Since guys are so useless in church, it begs the question: Do we even need them? Yes! A lack of male participation is one of the surest predictors of church decline. The denominations with the biggest gender gaps are also those that have been losing members and shutting churches. On the other hand, churches with robust male participation are generally growing.
Bottom line: if you want a healthy church for the long term, attract men. This was Jesus’ strategy. It still works today. In my book, I offer more than 60 pages of proven principles for creating a man-friendly church.

Here are seven of them:

Principle one: Cultivate a healthy masculine spirit in your church. A man must sense, from the moment he walks in, that church is not just for Grandma, it’s something for him. It can’t feel like a ladies’ club. The quilted banners, fresh flowers, and boxes of Kleenex in our sanctuaries make a statement. So do practices such as holding hands with your neighbor, "prayer and share" times, or highly emotional displays. Our goal is not to get men to cry; it’s to get them walking with God, however that may look.

Principle two: Make men feel needed and wanted. Encourage men to use their gifts, even if they don’t fit traditional models of Christian service. Encourage them to serve the poor by working on cars or fixing up houses. Let men plan adventures and do "guy things" together.

Principle three: Present Christ’s masculine side. Pastors often focus on Jesus’ tenderness and empathy. This is a good thing, but presenting soft Jesus week after week runs the risk of turning men off. What man wants to follow Mr. Rogers? Even more bewildering are today’s praise songs – many of which feature lovey-dovey lyrics set to a romantic tune. Guys may feel unnatural singing romantic words to another man. Men want a leader, not a love object.

Principle four: Avoid feminine terminology. Christian men use terms such as precious, share, and relationship — words you’d never hear on the lips of a typical man. We talk a lot about the saved and the lost; men don’t want to be either. And here’s a term that puzzles a lot of guys: a personal relationship with Jesus. Christ’s bold, masculine command, "Follow Me!" is now, "Have a relationship with Me." We’ve recast Jesus’ offer in feminine terms.

Principle five: Preach shorter sermons.

I know pastors will hate this principle, but men say that "long, boring sermons" are the #1 reason they avoid church. Thanks to TV, today’s men have an attention span of six to eight minutes (the length between commercials). Why not use this to your advantage? Break your sermon into six- to eight-minute segments with a song, drama, video clip, or object lesson in between. Remember, Jesus’ most beloved lessons were his parables, none of which takes more than two minutes to teach. His parables survive today because men remembered them.

Principle six: Become students of men.

Although most pastors are male, few truly understand men. Women keep the ministry machine going, so pastors focus on keeping females happy and volunteering. This must change. I challenge every pastor in America to study men. A good place to start: read John Eldredge’s bestseller, Wild at Heart.

Principle seven: Create a culture of person-to-person challenge.

In many a church, the pastor challenges from the pulpit, but the people don’t challenge each other. Person-to-person discipleship, in small teams, is the only way to bring men to maturity in Christ. Where do you start? Choose a handful of men and personally disciple them, with the understanding that each man will recruit his own small group after one year. Continue to disciple these men as they become disciplers of others. This is the model Jesus left us, and it
is awakening men in churches across the nation.
Dream for a moment. Imagine your church filled with men who are coming alive in Christ. Men there not just to please their wives, fulfill religious tradition, or go on a power trip, but men laying their lives down for God. Imagine what your congregation could accomplish for the kingdom!
The church was like this once; it can be so again. If this article has stirred something in your heart, please join me in calling our churches back to men. For more information, visit my website,
www.churchformen.com.

David Murrow is director of Church for Men, an organization dedicated to restoring a healthy, life-giving, masculine spirit in the local church. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska, with his wife and three children. His book, Why Men Hate Going to Church, will be in bookstores March 24 or can be pre-ordered online.
©Copyright 2005. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

GoforGuysLogoflat

http://www.churchformen.com/

http://www.churchformen.com/GoForTheGuysSunday.pdf

Show Me How Video’s:

http://battlezone.echurchnetwork.net/Training/ShowMeHow/PrayWithMen/default.aspx

"facts are clear: churches
are slowly losing their men and
boys. What was once a trickle
is becoming a flood."

"A lack of male participation is
not only heartbreaking, it’s
strongly associated with
overall church decline."

"The idea behind Go for the
Guys Sunday is to attract a
wider variety of men to church.
Go for the Guys Sunday helps
your congregation broaden its
outreach to the not-soreligious
guys Jesus attracted."

Why do we need a special Sunday targeted at men and boys? Isn’t the church already male dominated? Although most of the senior pastors in America are men, the pews are dominated by women.

Consider the facts:

• The average US worship service draws an adult crowd that’s 61 percent female and 39 percent male. (This compares to 53-47 percent in 1952)
• About 90 percent of the boys who are raised in church abandon it during their teens and twenties.
Most never return.
• This Sunday in America, six million married
women will worship without their husbands.
That’s one out of five.
• Most churchgoing guys are “lifers” who grew up in church. Men are the hardest group to reach.
• Less than 10 percent of churches can maintain a thriving men’s ministry.

 

The Bending Process :Examination

In the process of counseling as pastoral counselors are instruments to bring specific categories doctrine in helping people examine their heart in light of the Word of God. We help them in their process of bending toward God’s mind instead of their own mind. This process of bending takes time and care. We are to present them unto God in the process of their personal decisions toward the truth. We help individuals realize that absolute truth is the way to begin to think rationally and with sober thoughts. To think with sober thoughts in John 8:32 brings great freedom. Acting on truth releases the power of freedom into your life and circumstances. The turned and changed mind will be a spiritual awakening and source for strength.

The path of surrender and freedom depends upon how we assist them to look at themselves. This is defined as living the life of Faith which is to begin the journey of a yielded life. This process unfortunately is often clouded with worldly introspection and toxic guilt. The reason introspection causes guilt and not a genuine repentance is because it uses the cognition.

Cognition Definition:

The mental process of knowing, including aspects such as awareness, perception, reasoning, and judgment.Those processes involved in the gathering, organization, and use of knowledge.Reasoning by direct retrieval involves retrieving a known fact from memory to solve a problem. Reasoning involves constructing or retrieving images from conceptual memory and examining or manipulating them to solve a problem.
The internal structures and processes that are involved in the acquisition and use of knowledge, including sensation, perception, attention, learning, memory, language, thinking, and reasoning. Cognitive scientists propose and test theories about the functional components of cognition based on observations of an organism’s external behavior in specific situations.
Cognition throughout life can be broadly described as an interaction between knowledge-driven processes and sensory processes; and between controlled processes and automatic processes. Over time, there is a trade-off between the amount of surface information that is retained in the internal representation of objects or events (bottom-up processing) and the amount of meaning that is incorporated (top-down processing).
The process of cognition which the mind acts and states. This reflection depends upon self-consciousness instead of God-consciousness. A reflective looking inward is the spy of self that looks to condemn instead of building and bending toward the will and Rational expression of God.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

When we examine ourselves, we try to test the quality of our hearts with the Word of Grace, not the word of self-condemnation. The Word of Grace develops God’s character in which God’s nature rationally through the Word of God helps our mind to prove and ascertained the quality of one’s own state. This also through Grace internally changes us from within which then changes our conduct. This process has to start with our motives which is developed first in the Battleground of our Mind. Motives particularly cause action concerning our feelings. The reflective examination reveals with the mirror of living water the true state of our spirit, soul, and body. The process of examination does not produce toxic guilt or shame because it is God centered and not self-oriented. The examination produces the consciousness of who God is and what he has done not who we are and what we have done.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD
(2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

References:

REV. C. H. Spurgeon is these excerpts below from the New Park Street pulpit sermon # 218

“Stand not only on the mountains of your public character, but go into the deep valleys of your private life. Be not content to sail on the broad river of your outward actions, but go follow back the narrow nil till you discover your secret motive.Look not only at your performance, which is but the product of the soil, but dig into your heart and examine the vital principle. “Examine yourselves.”

Examine: that is a scholastic idea questions him, to see whether he has made any progress,—whether he knows anything. Christian, catechize your heart; question it, to see whether it has been growing in grace; question it, to see if it knows anything of vital godliness or not.

A military idea. “Examine yourselves,” or renew yourselves. Go through the rank and file of your actions, and examine all your motives. Just as the captain on review-day is not content with merely surveying the men from a distance, but must look at all their accoutrements, so do you look well to yourselves; examine yourselves with the most scrupulous care.
And once again, this is a legal idea. “Examine yourselves.” You have seen the witness in the box, when the lawyer has been examining him, or, as we have it, cross-examining him. Now, mark: never was there a rogue less trustworthy or more deceitful than your own heart, and as when you are cross-examining a dishonest person—one that hath bye-ends to serve, you set traps for him to try and find him out in a lie, so do with your own heart. Question it backward and forward, this way and that way; for if there be a loophole for escape, if there he any pretence for self-deception, rest assured your treacherous heart will be ready enough to avail itself of it.
And yet once more: this is a traveler’s idea. I find in the original, it has this meaning: “Go right through yourselves.”

Forgiveness: By Grace “Changes our Mind”

If we are to enter God’s rest by experiencing the fullness of Christ’s resurrection power in our lives, we will need to consider whether there are still judgments against others dwelling in our hearts. Obviously, when we received our salvation, we were not required by God, to list, individually, every person who had ever hurt or offended us and then repent of our anger, resentment and bitter root judgments toward each person (Heb. 12:15). But, if we are to mature in Christ through His grace as we continue on in our Christian walk, we must be willing to release these people from our judgments (Matt. 6:12-15).

      We were justified by the sacrifice Christ made on the cross on our behalf so that, through salvation, we might enjoy the fullness of the benefits of sonship with him. These benefits were made available to us through our repentance and God’s forgiveness of our sins. Yet, scripture clearly indicates that if we are to continue as recipients of God’s good favor, we must resolutely adopt an ongoing attitude of forgiveness toward others (Matt. 7:1-2; Luke 17:3-4). Most Christians understand the importance of this basic principle. It is a staple of Christian teaching.

    But there is another, very important aspect of forgiveness that is often overlooked - Our personal repentance for the sinful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that have developed in our lives in reaction to the original offenses against us.

How Reactive Judgments can Keep Us in Bondage

    Much of how we think, feel, and act today is derived from our past reactions to both the positive and negative influences in our lives.  Inevitably, ungodly behaviors develop from some of these reactions. For example, if we suffer rejection and hurt, we may form a negative judgment about the one that has rejected us. To hurt feels like weakness; to hate feels like strength. So, in our attempt to alleviate the pain we feel from rejection, instead of reacting with forgiveness, we begin to develop critical, judgmental thinking toward others  (Heb. 12:15; Gen. 4:5-8). From this position of blaming, we often come to believe that we must develop and rely on protective mechanisms of behavior in order to “survive” emotionally. For example, we may become shy and withdrawn, or perhaps bold, manipulative and aggressive.

    Whenever we do not choose the option of forgiveness toward those who have offended us, we are fostering the development of self-reliant attitudes deep within the heart. Rejecting the avenue of forgiveness, we learn to rely on our own efforts to overcome the personal offenses we experience and become well-practiced at trying to maintain control in our personal relationships in order to feel emotionally safe.

    Sometimes, in trying to achieve this control, we develop an acute sensitivity regarding what we perceive to be the thoughts or feelings of others. We come to rely on these hypersensitive perceptions, as distorted as they may be, in order to circumvent conflict in relationships and avoid the anguish of further rejection.

From an unforgiving heart, we will often pursue an emotional compensation for past rejection, placing unrealistic demands and expectations on others and even on ourselves. Of course, by placing this unattainable burden of performance on the people in our lives and on ourselves, we are actually setting ourselves up for further disappointment and rejection. Truly, what we have sown in past judgments to accommodate the sinful nature, we will reap through unhealthy, destructive patterns of behavior in present day relationships (Gal. 6:7-8).

    Over a period of time, we grow to depend on these behavioral mechanisms and they become a fixed system that we regularly use and trust. It becomes daily, monthly, yearly, increasingly difficult to believe there is a better way (Prov. 14:12). Even if we begin to intellectually understand the reality and complexity of our dysfunction that prevents us from healthy relationship with others, we often find that we cannot, of our own power, free ourselves from the sinful inclinations of our souls. Thankfully, our Father God does not expect us to gain freedom from the multitudinous layers of dysfunction that have developed within our souls, by relying entirely upon our own efforts.

    It is, instead, the recognition of our inability to effectively disengage from the judgmental patterns of the old nature and the protective behavioral mechanisms we have constructed in opposition to healthy intimacy with man and God, which brings the opportunity for real change by the power of God! This change occurs through our belief in and surrender to the process of repentance and sanctification, which are both ongoing works of the Holy Spirit within us (Rom. 2:28-29; 8:1-11; Phil. 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:23-24).

In the article Overcoming Foundational Root Judgments a working model is given for overcoming the specific root judgments that have formed in our lives and the sinful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that we have developed in reaction to personal offenses from our past. But before we can use the working model effectively, it will be necessary to clear up some of the common confusion surrounding repentance and sanctification.

Grace for Repentance is a Divine Gift that God Wants to Give


    Unfortunately, as a result of our predisposition toward a works-oriented, performance-bound mentality, we often misinterpret what is needed for the process of personal repentance and sanctification to occur. Our tendency is to try to work out our repentance and sanctification by depending primarily on our own efforts and understanding, instead of believing, trusting, and asking God to do this supernatural work within us, according to His understanding (Gal. 3:3-5).

Sometimes, in shame and exasperation, we erroneously believe that God has not freed us from our repetitive sin patterns because we have not felt bad enough about our sin, or we have not tried hard enough by our own efforts to become free (Eph.2:8-9). We often believe that if we could just feel ashamed enough about our sin, God would respond by empowering us to overcome the sin (Rom. 8:1; 10:11).

    But shame cannot purchase grace. Faith is the tool we must use to apprehend the power of God’s grace. Faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross and faith in Jesus’ resurrection power through the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts to bring freedom to our souls. Ordinarily, we fail to comprehend this truth, because we have “fallen away from grace” through a persistent attitude of worldly self-reliance that has infiltrated our religious beliefs (Gal. 5:1-5).

    We must make every effort possible to avoid the e

ntanglements of sin in our lives, but we must also realize that we can never, solely by the efforts of our fleshly wills, come to full repentance. William Evans, in The Great Doctrines of the Bible states, “Repentance is not something which one can originate within himself, or can pump up within himself as one would pump water out of a well. It is a divine gift. How then is man responsible for not having it? We are called upon to repent in order that we may feel our own inability to do so, and consequently be thrown upon God to perform this work of grace in our hearts.”  
( Italics mine).

Relying on the Holy Spirit

    When we invite God to perform a work of grace unto repentance in our hearts, we will begin to experience a heartfelt sorrow over our sins. We will desire to turn away from the sinful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that we have developed in reaction to personal offenses from our past.

    But the next step on the journey to complete repentance, the one that we most commonly stumble over, is the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, which occurs between our sorrow and our new godly behavior. The Holy Spirit, by the grace available to us through Christ Jesus, has the power to literally separate us from the ways of the old nature, which compelled us toward ungodly behavior in the past. 

       As Evans says: “The Holy Spirit seals, attests, and confirms the work of grace in the soul by producing the fruits of righteousness therein. It is the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus who gives us free-dom from the law of sin and death (Rom. 8:2). He is called the Holy Spirit, not only because He is absolutely holy Himself, but also because He produces that quality of soul character in the believer. The Spirit is the executive of the God-head for this very purpose. It is the Spirit’s work to war against the lusts of the flesh and enable us to bring forth fruit unto holiness.”  8  (Italics mine)

    If we do not actively believe in the Holy Spirit to do this work within us, we are missing out on the incredible power of grace that is available to us through our faith relationship with Christ. It is an important part of the foundation of both our salvation and ongoing sanctification. As scripture reveals,
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”
                                                                                         -Heb. 4:16

We Rest in His Finished Work

    When we repent of the sinful attitudes and behaviors that have developed in our lives, Christ’s finished work on the cross is made available to us by the active work of the Holy Spirit within us, in response to our dependence upon Him to do a sanctifying work of inner transformation. This is known as resting in the finished work of Christ. (Heb. 3:16-19; 4:8-11; John 19:30). Rest is rest! Transformation by our own efforts is not transformation at all. It is unbelief – trusting in self more than we trust in God. (See Heb. 4:11, 3:18-19; Isa. 30:1-15).

    The supernatural power for the transformation of our souls is not found in our own efforts and works. It is a work of the Holy Spirit:

    Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
                                                                                      -2 Cor 3:17,18

The Influence of Our Old Nature Rebels  Against Believing God


    Mankind’s complex performance-bound mentalities derived from the old nature, rebel against the simplicity of grace (Gal. 3:1-5 and 5:1-5). Believing on God to do for us supernaturally, what we cannot do for ourselves, is both humbling and seemingly too simplistic!

    We struggle with the concept of rest, because resting in the finished work of Christ demands an unconditional surrendering of our complex prideful self-determinations, which we have depended on throughout our lifetime.

    But that which we are unwilling to surrender will inevitably lead to a testing of the quality of our works, in which all that we have done through our own self-directed efforts will be burned up:
“his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames”
                                                                                             -1 Cor. 3:13-15

God Will Remove the Bitter Roots

    True freedom from the sinful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that have developed in our lives is accomplished by asking and believing on God to circumcise our heart by the power of the Holy Spirit, (“…and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code” Rom. 2:29) removing bitter roots (strongholds of judgment toward self and oth-ers) (Heb. 12:15), and severin

g the ungodly weeds (behavior and belief systems) which have grown up from these bitter roots. As God does this sanctifying work in us, we will then be able to experience the life of Christ in those previously dark, unforgiving, unrepentant areas of our heart.

     Apart from this reliance on the power of God we will find ourselves wandering through a spiritual desert, searching for rest, frustrated by our inability to gain freedom from our ungodly behavior patterns.
    When we finally surrender to the truth and invite the Holy Spirit to do this work of grace in our hearts, we will begin to experience the peace and joy, confidence, assurance, and fullness of life, which always result from an act of faith in the finished work of Christ.

Look again at Jesus’ words,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
                                                                                         -Matthew 11:28-30

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                        (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Family Intervention: Addiction and Life Controlling Issues

intervention-1

An intervention is an orchestrated attempt by one, or often many, people (usually concerned family and friends) and an interventionists to get someone to seek professional help with an addiction or some other life controlling problem.

People sometimes engage in self-destructive behavior, rejecting any assistance others may offer. Intervention, when done correctly, is extremely effective in helping these people accept help.

Long used for substance abuse (alcohol abuse, drug abuse) and addiction (alcoholism, drug addiction), intervention is now also used for compulsive behaviors including gambling, sex addiction, computer addiction, and eating disorders.

The kindest and most loving thing family and friends can do.

Interventions have been used to address serious personal problems, including, but not limited to, alcoholism, compulsive gambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating and other eating disorders, self-mutilation,  "workaholics", and various types of poor personal health care.

Interventions

Interventions are either direct, typically involving a  face-to-face meeting that has challenge to the alcohol, drug dependent person (the most typical type of intervention), or other self-destructive behaviors.

In the same sense, direct interventions tend to be a form of short-term coaching aimed at getting the addicted person into inpatient rehabilitation.

Plans for direct intervention

Plans for a direct intervention are typically made by a concerned group of family and friends,  rather than by the addict. Often the addict will not agree that they need the type of help that is proposed during the intervention, usually thought by those performing the intervention to be a result of denial.  Typically, the addict is surprised by the intervention by friends and family members.

Prior preparation

Prior to the intervention itself, the family meets with a  interventionist. Families prepare speeches in which they share their negative experiences associated with the target’s particular addiction-based lifestyle, to convey to the target the amount of pain his or her addiction has caused others. Also during the intervention rehearsal meeting, each group member is strongly urged to create a list of activities (by the addict or individual with life controlling problems) that they will no longer tolerate, finance, or participate in if the individual doesn’t agree to check into a rehabilitation center for treatment or get intensified counseling for their specific life controlling problem. These usually involve very serious losses to the individual if s/he refuses.

What the person may lose

These items may be as simple as no longer loaning money to the addict, but can be far more alarming. It is common for groups to threaten the individual with permanent rejection (banishment) from the family until treatment is sought. Wives often threaten to leave their husbands during this phase of the intervention, and vice versa. If the individual happens to have any outstanding arrest warrants or other unresolved criminal issues, the threat is usually made that he or she will be turned in to the authorities.

Family and friends present every possible loss that the family can think of to the individual, who then must decide whether to check into the prescribed rehabilitation center and get the prescribed intensified counseling if this an alternative, or deal with the promised losses.

The process of the intervention will have various stages and these are some that I have noted below. I have also noted my personal experience with interventions as a Christian coach and pastor. The experience is extensive and has an extremely high success record. Therefore, I would like to share with you the process and my personal thoughts  behind the process for intervention. This is not a guide written in stone and is flexible because every person is an individual. My interventions are conducted locally and are usually at no cost for my complete participation.  Usually my travel expense, and other expenses are reimbursed if they are needed to travel more than 50 miles. Donations are usually given to our foundation the Young Adult Crisis Hotline for my time, however this is no a condition and not mandatory.

01

Critical Crises often offer particularly good windows of opportunity for motivation and intervention. These usually occur in these stages:

  • Pre-contemplation, in which the individual is not considering change.
  • Contemplation, in which the individual is undecided, weighing the pros and cons of change.
  • Determination or preparation, where the balance tips in favor of change and the individual begins considering options.
  • Action, which involves the individual taking specific steps to accomplish change.

During an successfully conducted intervention, with me as  a Christian Counseling and coach the addict or the  individual with life controlling problems does not feel manipulated, forced, directed, coerced, or advised. Direction is typically accomplished through open-ended questions and selective reflection of past and current behavior rather than through more overtly confrontational strategies and advice giving. This is not like other direct confrontational styles that secular interventionists would rather use in an intervention. I like to personally walk, individuals and their families through a series of what are their future goals and how their current behavior hurts the chances of them attaining their future goals. This is where we weigh out the current state and the future. In interventions that I  participate and conduct, I prefer using encouragement and reinforcement to use the individuals own words, desires, plans, and goals to make a sincere commitment to treatment or long-term intensified counseling. 

The interventions are like this  metaphor, the client and counselor are working a jigsaw puzzle together.

Rather than putting the pieces in place while the client watches like most secular interventionists, the counselor helps to construct the frame, then puts pieces on the table for the client to place. The basic conditions of client-centered pastoral counseling and  coaching  provide a strong foundation, with particular emphasis on the strategies of open-ended questions and reflective listening. Such supportive and motivation-building strategies are employed until resistance abates and the client shows indication of being ready to discuss change.

During interventions I might also show agreement with the client’s points of view which shows empathy and personal care. Then I like to re-frame the initial agreement with the goal of motivating the client to a place of reality and rational thought . The goal is still remains encouragement and reinforcement  instead of  confrontation. This encounter, will slowly  challenge the client  in the sense of bringing the client face to face with a difficult reality and thereby initiating change in their mind about their particular life controlling issues. This encourages a client to have personal responsibility and ownership of their own unwelcome behavior. This therefore with out using a threatening confrontational  approach encourages discussion rather that conflict. We have turned the intense conflict to a place of opportunity which produces unity.   

This final action stage of an intervention begins  of confession/admission of their hopelessness and need for help.  This reveals the individuals sincerity and  begins to remove layers of denial.

The client is in the process to “change their mind” about their behavior, which increases the chances if long-term recovery because repentance was initially involved which produces personal responsibility. This leads to Counseling with Rational expression of God which decreases resistance behaviors and has reframed new meanings of Grace to the individual. Many of these times of God’s Grace takes the form of the counselor giving voice to the client’s behavior to instruct and teach verbalizations of the need for change.

If denial which is a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that  are too painful to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite overwhelming evidence. The subject may deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether (simple denial), admit the fact but deny its seriousness (minimization) or admit both the fact and seriousness but deny personal responsibility (Which is transference: characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another). I employ another reoriented approach and have increased family involvement in the intervention.

I essentially have carefully taken notes on the individual’s goals and the puzzle the client has constructed  for us and begin the intervention from the initial stage. The family at this point know that we will enter into weighing consequences for lack of personal responsibility. The family will at this point be the reinforcement mechanism keeping the client as the  central focus of the intervention.

I will begin by explaining essential the part of personal responsibility and action to the client. Then I will encourage the concerned group of family and friends  to begin with their prepared speeches to share their negative experiences associated with the target’s particular addiction-based lifestyle, to convey to the client the amount of pain his or her addiction has caused others. Then I will discuss what promised loss. At this point I will ask for the  prepared lists of promised loss that the concerned group of family and friends  are willing to stand by if the target doesn’t agree to check into a rehabilitation center for treatment or agree to mandatory long-term intensified counseling. These usually involve very serious losses to the addict if s/he refuses.

I re-evaluate the individual and the atmosphere to see which direction the intervention  will proceed toward and ask for feed back from the individual how they will feel when these lists of promised loss are enacted. I again will use motivational methods to show the target how much more they gain instead of lose if the choose personal responsibility and ownership. I will re offer the non-negotiable option to seek inpatient treatment or mandatory long-term intensified counseling.

At this point, have evaluated the target extensively and  learned a lot about the target and have more information to  discern the individual’s the denial factors, their responses or reactions and the authenticity for genuine desire for change.  

discern : rationally recognize mentally and see if can understand the difference responses : usually objective well thought out)

reactions : usually subjective and emotionally driven

This is a vital part of the intervention if we have come to this point because we never want manipulated desire which will never  develop a sincere commitment and genuine repentance.  Without a sincere commitment from the individual real change rarely occurs because they feel  forced to get help and usually never complete the treatment. This is because they have the wrong motivation for going to treatment to begin with.

If the individual remains in denial or refuses to get help at this point I encourage the concerned family and friends to keep their promise of loss and to follow through with them immediately. I then address the individual and encourage them to contact me when they are ready and want to make a sincere decision for treatment.

If the opposite takes place and genuine desire is evident for treatment and the individual is ready after weighing the losses. I encourage action and immediate placement into a program that we have already retained in the preliminary meetings. 

The process of motivational reversal usually does not take place and the loss becomes the eventual encouragement for change of the desire of the individual.  This is because the denial of their self-destructive behaviors runs deep in their sub conscious mind. This is usually is the case in long-term addicted individuals with co-dependent  family members, who  the addict knows lack the backbone for action to fulfill the promised loss. The family members of close friends who will not follow through with their promised losses are only extending their own personal agony and the suffering of their loved who is the target. They have also wasted a lot of vital time that could have been spent with others who need the help that was freely given.

During the next several weeks, I personally will follow through with each individual when ever possible who was at the intervention. I will encourage that the promised losses are followed through and am constantly evaluating  to see when the losses will create the proper sincere motivation for change.

If the intervention was initially successful but the individual however did not follow through with the required treatment options in the time prescribed we will follow through until they do or we enter into another intervention where the promised losses ar

e laid out to the individual. This sometimes occurs because of poor time-management skills and lack of follow through on the part of the client which is a common behavior with the addicted and those with life controlling problems.

Summary of

Intervention Goals:

In an intervention, the goal is for the addict or target to take personal responsibility and make a sincere commitment for action and treatment for their self-destructive habits and behaviors.

An addict or individual with life controlling problems often compares himself to peers and reaches in the conclusion that he is normal. As a result he never realizes that he has lost control. What they need in this condition is honest rational objective feedback that their self-destructive habits and behaviors are dangerous and deadly. A skilled interventionist, with the support of family and friends of the addict or target, can help them to realize the situation through the process of an intervention. The interventionist, who gets an idea of the nature and degree of the addiction through meetings with the addict and family, can make constructive opinions on the addict’s behavior.

Through intervention the addict will understand the limits his concerned friend and family have set and realize the fact that they have a problem. They also will know that because of love they were address by their concerned friends and family. More significantly; they will understand that their concerned friend and family will not continue putting up with their self-destructive habits and behaviors. The beginning of liberation of suffering, for both the addict and the family, is the primary agenda of any Intervention. Changing the self-destructive behavior at the source of suffering is always the focus of an intervention.

The sought after result of the intervention, obviously, is getting the individual with life controlling issues to agree that a problem exists and ask for help. The interventionists, at this time, are required to possess enough knowledge to help with referrals of treatment that would be suitable to that particular person as an individual. No one is the same, everyone does not  fit into a mold and each plan must be specifically tailored to each individual. This is not a “one size fits all” strategy.

Then it is vital to comprehend the variety and efficiency of different treatments so that the recommendation can be individualized.

Advanced and highly effective treatment methods for drug and alcohol addiction are available in a wide range of methods. A number of treatment and recovery program options can be considered for every patient. With a lot of choices, it would be advisable if those intervening on behalf of the abuser agree on the program or method most suited for the addict a preliminary meeting prior to the intervention. The availability of these various treatment centers are always a concern, therefore the selection and eventual placement of an appropriate treatment program a difficult task.

Also, in the preliminarily meeting, after deciding on the treatment intended to be proposed for the addict, is required to contact the chosen facility to see if their is availability. The admittance procedure, financial obligation and mode of treatment must be thoroughly discussed with the family.

This is to determine if there is insurance involved and if cost restraints will also be a consideration of treatment. The cost for inpatient treatment varies considerably for 30 day programs with ranges between $4900 and $13,500. The average cost for a licensed 30 day treatment facility is usually $7,500 to $8,900.

If cost restraints, lack of insurance or no funding is available for treatment from the friends, family members, or their employer it will make it extremely difficult for placement into treatment. It is rare that public beds are available and are usually reserved for those in the various entitlement programs.

Free treatment is rare, however available at several homeless shelters, Christian missions with recovery components, foundation’s adult based recovery programs like the Salvation Army and teen challenge. Remember, the individual usually must be detoxified before admittance is even discussed. Please take this into consideration also in the degree of cost and planning.

Addicts live and die on their chance to recover so this is not a decision to be made on the spur of the moment. Convincing the addict of the effect of the treatment is as important as making him recognize his addiction. Moreover, he can be give valuable opinions while selecting an appropriate treatment program.

Everyone is biologically different and responds to Treatment can be different for each. So, the methods and time of treatment vary from patient to patient as the reaction varies according to the individual stage of addiction. In fact, the roadmap for the treatment program takes shape here.


To get the maximum out of it, intervention needs to be conducted on a sober person that is not intoxicated. More importantly, the one who undergo intervention needs to remain sober throughout the entire process of intervention. In any case, attempting an intervention while a person is on a high or intoxicated will usually not be productive because the addict cannot see many of their problems when in a fog of intoxication.

The broken lives and countless numbers of  young adults are being healed and reconstructed daily by our interventions. We have numerous success stories of Young Adults that have come through the valley and in the end have thanked God for the valley. Today they are helping others and serving God all around the world as missionaries, pastors, youth leaders, and Sunday school teachers

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

True Forgiveness : Is Through Reconciliation

 

wedding rings

 

2 Corinthians 5:17-20

17 Therefore if any man be in 200701handChrist, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.

Reconciled : In the Greek is katallage

To exchange, have adjustment,

Old word in the Greek language that refers to an exchanging coins.

WHAT IS REALLY FORGIVNESS?

1) FORGIVNESS is NOT CONDITIONAL

· NOT “I WILL FOR GIVE YOU IF”

· OFFERED EVEN IF IT IS NOT ASKED FOR

2) IT ISN’T MINIMIZING THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE OFFENSE

· IF IT IS WORTH FORGIVING IT DID HURT YOU.

· DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING WRONGED AND BEING WOUNDED

· WOUNDS ARE UNINTENTIONAL, BEING WRONGED IS INTENTIONAL

· WOUNDS DON’T REQUIRE FORGIVENESS THEY REQUIRE ACCEPTANCE AND RECOGNIZING THE FALLEN WORLD AND IMPERFECT ENVIROMENT,

· DON’T CHEAPEN FORGIVENESS

3) FORGIVNESS IS NOR RESUMING A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT CHANGE

· NOT SAME AS REBUILDING OR RESTORING A RELATIONSHIP

· FORGIVNESS IS INSTANT, BUT TRUST IS REBUILT OVER A PERIOD OF TIME.

· IT TAKES MORE THAN FORGIVNESS FOR RECONCILIATION.

· FORGIVNESS IS BASED UPON GRACE, TRUST IS EARNED.

4) REAL FORGIVNESS IS NOT FORGETTING WHAT HAPPENED

· “HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN IT YET?” “I’M TRYING!” —- THE WHOLE TIME YOU ARE TRYING TO FORGET, CAN’T FORGET! WHAT ARE YOU FOUCUSING ON?

· YOU CAN’T FORGET SOMETHING BY TRYING TO FORGET IT.

· THE ONLY WAY YOU FORGET SOMETHING IS BY REPLACEING IT WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

· THERE IS SOMETHING BETTER FORGETTING IT IS REMEMBERING GOD! – ROMANS 8:28

· WHEN I FORGET SOMETHING, I DON’T THANK GOD OR PRAISE GOD!

REMEMBERING HOW MUCH I’VE BEEN FORGIVEN

KJV Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

NO EARNING

NOT DESERVING

NOT FEELING

WE NEED TO IMAGINE HARMONY, EVEN AT THE POINT OF GREATEST CONFLICT.

WE NEED TO LOVE PEOPLE WHERE THEY ARE AT AND HAVE CONFIDENCE IN THEM WHEN THEY HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THEMSELVES OR GOD.

THE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION IS EXEMPLIFIEDBY:

1) PERSONAL INVOLMENT

2) PERSONAL ENCOURAGEMENT

Bitterness

Bitterness is loss frozen in resentment. Bitterness grows out of our refusal to let go when someone or something is taken from us.

Cosmic Consequences

You could argue that bitterness motivated Satan to attempt to destroy and thwart God’s plans. You could argue that bitterness motivated the Pharisees to have Jesus put to death. You only have to look at India and Pakistan, Israel and Jordan, Bosnia and Croatia, and Northern Ireland to know that wars are caused by bitterness, and that such bitter disputes fuel even more reservoirs of bitterness that last through generations, and continue to hold people in vice-like grips.

Personal Consequences

There are often physical consequences such as headaches, ulcers, sleeplessness, heart-attacks, anxiety, fear, tension, depression. This, of course, doesn’t mean that anyone with a headache or heart-attack is bitter, but prolonged bitterness will have physical consequences.

The mental consequences of bitterness are continued hypercritical attitudes. Nobody can do anything right. There is usually anger and resentment with things don’t go our way (and they often don’t).

And because of the attitudes that accompany bitterness, there are inevitably social consequences. 

Deuteronomy 29:19

Bitterness is described as a root that grows into a poisonous plant. Bitterness spreads and infects others. They either catch the critical and grouching spirit from the bitter people, or they decide to avoid their company. And, of course, the rejection caused by the bitterness leads to the people concerned feeling even more bitter, and so the cycle continues. They rarely go because they feel rejected. And when they do go, they almost have to make sure that people will reject them. Churches have been paralyzed for years by unresolved bitterness, and so have individual Christians who refuse to deal with the bitterness they feel towards God.

Bitterness is loss, frozen in resentment. And bitterness is also a chain, tying us to the thing of person we want to be free from. Until we deal with the bitterness we cannot escape from the loss. People want vengeance, but end up with a hypercritical spirit, ulcers, rejection, and chains. We hope that our bitterness will in some way influence others, but all that happens is that it destroys us.

And it is not only anger that is a choice. Its close cousin bitterness is also a choice. We respond the people or events by saying: ‘You made me bitter …’ But, as Christians, we are not victims. We are responsible for we do, say, think, and feel. Nobody can make us bitter. We choose to respond to situations in a bitter way.

You know that it is not people or circumstances that make people bitter. What makes us bitter is our attitude towards people and circumstances. Its not the people or the circumstances. But the messages we tell ourselves, and its the feelings we nurture. You know that you can take two people and put them through equally horrendous circumstances, and one will come out riddled with bitterness, and another will come out radiant.

1 TIMOTHY 2:5-6

5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;

6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be
testified in due time.

mesithi in Greek is defined as mediator , one who intervenes between two, either in order to make or restore peace and friendship, or form a compact, or for ratifying a covenant

THE SIMPLEST TRANSLATION OF THE WORD MEDIATOR IS “IN THE MIDDLE.”

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Depression

depression

What depression is………………

Depression can be called a disease of the emotions. It’s classification as a mental illness does not make it any less real or painful. It is a common disease and at any time, around one in twenty people will be suffering from it.

Depression is a disturbance in mood characterized by varying degrees of sadness, disappointment, loneliness, hopelessness, self-doubt, and guilt. These feelings can be quite intense and last for a long period of time. Daily activities may become more difficult… but the individual may still be able to cope with them. It is at this level, however, that feelings of hopelessness can become so intense that suicide may seem the only solution.

A person experiencing severe depression may experience extreme fluctuations in moods or even a desire for complete withdrawal from daily routine and/or the outside world. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, and is not a sign of weakness. It is treatable, whether by medication, by therapy and counseling, or both. God answers prayer, and persistent prayer facilitates the process of emotional healing.

For the depressed Christian whose world has fallen apart, prayer may not seem like an option. In this case, the persistent prayer of close friends or relatives will help.

depression_test What depression is not?

Depression is not "Just in your mind." It isn’t a made-up illness; it isn’t laziness, or a couple of days of feeling sad or blue. It is not rejection by God, or abandonment. If it is from God, as a result of a specific you will know it. You will not be left wondering.

Eight major causes of depression

(1) Biological factors

(2) Learned helplessness (sense of being trapped and unable to remedy an intolerable situation)

(3) Parental rejection

(4) Abuse

(5) Negative thinking

(6) Life stress

(7) Anger

(8) Guilt.

[Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler, Josh McDowell's Handbook on Counseling Youth (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1996), chapter 5; Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, revised edition (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1988).]

Physical Causes:

· Pre-menstrual and postnatal hormone changes

· Some types of manic depression have been shown to have a genetic basis

· Hormone deficiencies (such as thyroid disturbances)

· Generalized illnesses such as kidney or liver disease

· Lack of natural light during winter in some susceptible people

· Alcoholism

· Drug dependency

· Food allergies and strange reactions to medicines, chemicals or food additives.

Mental Causes:
  • Unconscious impulses (from Freudian and Jungian psychology)
  • Learning the wrong way to cope with difficulties
  • Self induced conditioned helplessness (from behaviorist psychology)
  • Overload or stress
Spiritual Causes:
  • Sense of despair/futility of life; death of a loved one.
Symptoms
  • Lethargy (everything seems just too much trouble to do)
  • disturbed sleep (early waking, difficulty getting to sleep)
  • waking up tired after a "normal" night of sleep)
  • lack of concentration
  • irritability
  • exhaustion
  • lack of sexual drive
  • sensation of utter despair
  • sense of hopelessness or uselessness of everything
  • fear of death
  • phobias
  • Obsessive behavior
  • permanent sense of anxiety
  • feelings of wanting to cry, but inability to do so
  • thoughts of suicide, or fear of committing suicide
  • change in appetite and weight
  • other symptoms, this is not a definitive list

depression

Likely effects of depression in Christians

In Christians, spiritual effects follow from the depression, and seldom the other way round. Nearly always the depression comes first, followed by a sense of remoteness from God, rather than depression being the result of "falling away.

Being a Christian does not offer immunity from trials, troubles or illness.

God is making us holy and perfect, and this may involve dealing with your past. It is not an overnight process, and it may be painful. We may have leftover baggage of hurts suffered, wrong attitudes, incorrect information and so on. This can slow us down, and can be a source of depression.

You do not have to feel guilty about being depressed. It is not a sin to doubt what you have been told (this is what everyone does before they become a Christian, and God loved them then too), and the doubting process of can build a strong foundation for you to re-build on later.

We can counsel those depressed with these recommendations:

  1. Avoid being alone. Force yourself to be with people.
  2. Seek help from others.
  3. Sing. Music can uplift your spirit as it did for King Saul (1 Samuel 16:14-23).
  4. Praise and give thanks. "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
  5. Lean heavily on the powe

    r of God’s Word.

  6. Rest confidently in the presence of God’s Spirit. "Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance" (Psalm 42:5).

Depression has been called the "common cold" of mental disorders.

Depression is too complicated to solve with a single pat answer. Gary Collins, in Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide (Dallas: Word, 1988), lists seven major categories of causes for depression, and six major approaches to treating it. Each one has multiple options within each category. In addition, people use the word "depression" to cover everything from disappointment over losing a baseball game to the terrifying gloom that drives people to suicide.

The Bible does not use the word "depression," although it describes people whom we might call depressed. It certainly doesn’t mention antidepressant drugs. However, there are a few general principles I would recommend when trying to deal with depression:

  • Aim to work on the causes of your depression, not just the symptoms.

Scripture points to many issues of sin or conflict that can affect your emotions; most counselors would agree that depression can result from other underlying issues. Don’t just worry about the depression itself; check to see what other problems need attention.

  •  Realize that you can’t base life on your emotions. They just do not think!

Christians base life on truth, not feelings. Philippians 4:1 commands us to rejoice (whether we feel like it or not!). And James 1:2 asks us to "Consider it all joy when we fall into various trials." Notice that James doesn’t tell us to feel joyful; he tells us to reckon, to choose to think about your situation as a spot where you can have joy.

  • Faith

Choosing to trust truth rather than your feelings may require a lot of faith. And if that is what we mean by asking if faith can solve depression, then faith may be enough in some cases. Trusting what God says rather than your feelings is certainly a more realistic approach to life!

  •  Heed God’s Advice

However, many people talk about "faith" and only mean a vague hope that God will somehow pull them through. That’s too nebulous a concept to be reliable. Many of the same people who claim to have faith keep plunging through life ignoring God’s principles for healthy living. If we spurn the good advice that the Bible contains, we won’t escape the consequences – even if we have faith.

 depressionmedication

Is it right to use antidepressant drugs? Or is faith enough to solve the problem?

Chemical Imbalances

Some cases of depression may be caused by chemical imbalances. If that is the cause, then antidepressant drugs may be the answer. God has allowed mankind to learn about many medical tools, and He sometimes uses medicine to heal. There may also be some cases of depression so severe that medications are necessary to bring the sufferer to the place where they can tackle some of the other issues; such cases might require medication, at least temporarily. I know of no Scripture that forbids such use.

 

Unresolved Issues, Root Causes.

However, any medications should be used with caution. Virtually any medicine has some side effects. Drugs can mask the symptoms, allowing you to ignore root causes. Some people may use antidepressants to avoid approaches that require you to deal with other unresolved issues. It seems easier to pop a pill. A general rule of thumb is to try other strategies first, unless the depression is so severe that the person endangers themselves or finds themselves unable to participate in other therapies.

Depression is a complex area, and severe problems of depression deserve the attention of a pastor or other counselor. There are numerous biblical references to depression, one of the human race’s most common and distressing afflictions. It is likely that the first humans to experience depression were Adam and Eve, after they sinned against God.

Examples of people in the Bible who suffered bouts of depression

  • Abraham (Genesis 15)
  • Jonah (Jonah 4)
  • Job (Book of Job)
  • Elijah (1 Kings 19)
  • King Saul (I Samuel 16:14-23, etc.)
  • Jeremiah (Book of Jeremiah)

§ David (Psalms 6, 13, 18, 23, 25, 27, 31, 32, 34, 37-40, 42-43, 46, 51, 55, 62-63, 69, 71, 73, 77, 84, 86, 90-91, 94-95, 103-104, 107, 110, 116, 118, 121, 123-124, 130, 138, 139, 141-143, 146-147) 

Depression due to guilt

CAIN, son of Adam (having disobeyed God)
"Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast (depressed)? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.’"     -Genesis 4:6-7

DAVID, King of Israel (having committed adultery was depressed until he confessed his sin)"When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah.-Psalm 32:3-4

Release from depression caused by guilt came from confession and seeking God’s forgiveness…

"For I said in my haste, ‘I am cut off from before Your eyes’; Nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications When I cried out to You. Oh, love the LORD, all you His saints! For the LORD preserves the faithful, And fully repays the proud person. Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the LORD. Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit. …I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
     -Psalm 31:22 – 32:2, 32:5 (NKJV)

David’s humble prayer for forgiveness (an example for us all)

"Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your loving-kindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight; That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. Behold, I was broug

ht forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You. …For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart; These, O God, You will not despise."     -Psalm 51:1-13, 16-17 (NKJV)

When you’re depressed, place your hope in God.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. …For You are the God of my strength…"     -Psalm 42:5, 43:2 (NKJV)

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."     -Romans 15:13 (NKJV)

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy; meditate on these things.
     -Philippians 4:4-8 (NKJV)

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
     -1 Peter 5:6-7

Although things may be difficult, Christians can avoid deep depression.

"We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

-2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18 (NIV)

Remember what Jesus Christ went through for us. Remember what the apostle Paul experienced, yet remained focused on the eternal rather than the temporary. When we maintain faith and keep our focus on God’s love and the hope He has given us for eternity, Christians can weather the storms of life. It can be done.

Paul — "…I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, and I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches."
     -2 Corinthians 11:23b-28 (NIV)

When the Israelites were depressed, God called them to put their faith into action.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

References:

[Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler, Josh McDowell's Handbook on Counseling Youth (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1996), chapter 5; Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, revised edition (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1988).]

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

C0-Dependency or Inter-Dependency?

emotionaldep

Emotional Co-Dependency

A Threat to Close Friendships

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." – Proverbs 4:23

Throughout the years, we’ve realized that one of the most intense struggles people encounter is the problem of emotional dependency. Emotional dependency can range from a powerful romantic attachment to another person to a platonic friendship that has become too ingrown and possessive.

What Is Emotional Dependency?

Emotional dependency, as we’ve defined it, is:

The condition resulting when the on-going presence and/or nurturing of another is believed necessary for personal security.

This nurturing comes in many different forms of input from one person’s life into another:

Attention, listening, admiration, counsel, affirmation and time spent together.

Emotionally dependent relationships may appear harmless or even healthy at first, but they can lead to destruction and bondage greater than most people can imagine. Whether or not physical involvement exists, sin enters the picture when a friendship becomes a dependent relationship. To differentiate between the normal interdependency that happens in wholesome relationships and an unhealthy dependency, we’ll look at the factors that make up dependent relationships: how and why they get started and how they are maintained.

Characteristics of a Dependent Relationship:

We all have a deep need, placed in us by God, for intimate friendships. How do we know when we’re meeting this need legitimately? Is there some way to recognize when we’ve crossed the line into dependency?

Here are some signs that an emotional dependency has started, this is when either party in a dependent relationship:

1. Experiences frequent jealously, possessiveness and a desire for exclusivity, viewing other people as a threat to the relationship. Either party prefers to spend time alone with this friend and becomes frustrated when this doesn’t happen.
2. Becomes irrationally angry or depressed when this friend withdraws slightly.
3. Loses interest in friendships other than this one. Sometimes experiences romantic or sexual feelings leading to fantasy about this person.
4. Becomes preoccupied with this person’s appearance, personality, problems and interests.
5. They are  unwilling to make short or long range plans that don’t include the other person,
6. Is unable to see the other’s faults realistically. Thus becomes defensive about the relationship when asked about it. Reflects and displays physical affection beyond that which is appropriate for a friendship.
7. Refers frequently to the other in conversation; feels free to "speak for" the other.
8. Exhibits an intimacy and familiarity with this friend that causes others to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed in their presence.

How Does a Dependent Relationship Differ from a Healthy Friendship or interdependency where alliance is built?

A healthy relationship is free and generous. Both friends are eager to include others in their activities. They experience joy when one friend hits it off with another. In a good friendship, we desire to see our friend reach his or her full potential, developing new interests and skills. A dependent relationship is ingrown, creating mutual stagnation and limiting personal growth. In normal relationships, we are affected by things our friends say and do, but our reactions are balanced. When we’re emotionally dependent, a casual remark from our friend can send us into the heights of ecstasy or the pits of grief. If a close friend moves away, it is normal for us to feel sorrow and a sense of loss. If one of the partners in a dependent relationship moves, the other is gripped with anguish, panic and desperation. A healthy friendship is joyful, healing, and up building; an emotional dependency produces bondage.

Set-ups for Emotional Dependency.

Emotional dependency comes as a surprise to most people. Like However, dependencies don’t happen in a vacuum. Definite elements in our personalities and situations can set us up for binding relationships. Sins and hurts from the past leave us vulnerable, too. Having an awareness of these set-ups helps us to know when we need to exercise special caution in our relationships.

Personality Set-ups: Who Is Susceptible?

Anyone can fall into a dependent relationship given the right pressures and circumstances. However, there are a few common personality patterns that consistently gravitate towards each other to form dependencies. The basic combination seems to be the individual who appears to "have it all together" teamed up with one who needs the attention, protection or strength the other offers. Variations on this theme include:

1. Counselor / person with problems
2. "In control" people / one who needs direction parent / child
3. Teacher / student.

Although these pairs appear to include one strong person and one needy person, they actually consist of two needy people. The "strong" one usually has a deep need to be needed. As often as not, the one who appears weaker actually controls the relationship. We’ve talked with people who have been "weak" in one relationship and "strong" in another, and sometimes these elements aren’t apparent at all. A balanced friendship can turn into a dependent relationship if other set-ups are present.

Situational Set-ups: When Are We Most Vulnerable?

Certain times in our lives find us feeling insecure, ready to grasp hold of whatever security is available to us. Some of these times include:

1 Life crises – relationship break-up, death of someone close, loss of job.

2 Transition periods – adjusting to new job, moving to new home, getting engaged or being newly married, starting university, becoming a Christian.

3 Peak pressure periods – final examinations week, deadlines at work, personal or family illness, holidays such as Christmas.

4 When we’re away from the familiar and secure – vacation, camp, conferences, prison, military service.

We’re also vulnerable during times of boredom or depression. The best way to avoid trouble is to recognize our need for special support during these times and plan ahead for these needs to be met in healthy ways. These might include sharing our burdens with a small prayer group, scheduling a series of appointments with a counselor or pastor, increasing our contact with family members and most important, cultivating our relationship with Jesus through special quiet times. Also, there’s nothing wrong with letting our friends know we need their support! Problems only develop when we lean too much on one particular friend to meet all our needs.

Roots: Why Are We Prone to Dependency?

In a dependent relationship, one or both people are looking to a person to meet their basic needs for love and security, rather than to Jesus. Unless underlying spiritual and emotional problems are resolved, this pattern will continue unbroken.

Typical root problems that promote dependency include:

1. covetousness, which is desiring to possess something (or someone) God has not given us

2. idolatry, which results when a person or thing is at the center of our lives rather than Christ

3. rebellion, which is refusing to surrender areas of our lives to God, and

4. Mistrust, failing to believe God will meet our needs if we do things His way.

Sometimes hurts from our past leave us with low self-esteem, feelings of rejection and a deep unmet need for love. Bitterness or resentment toward those who have hurt us also opens us up for wrong relationships. These sins and hurts need to be confessed and healed before real freedom can be experienced. This can happen through confession and prayer, both in our personal times with the Lord and with other members of the body of Christ.

Emotional dependency is a painful thing to discuss. Most of us have experienced this problem. None of us are exempt from the temptation to draw our life and security from another person, especially when that person is handy and cooperative. Dependent relationships can form in opposite and same sex friendships. They can happen between married couples and between parents and children. But in the heart of the Gospel, there’s a message of truth that can free us from self-seeking relationships. For a lot of us, that really is good news!

"All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weights the heart"

  • - Proverbs 21:2

Next, we explore the role manipulation plays in these relationships, plus a look at some reasons why emotional dependencies are hard to break.

Maintenance through Manipulation.

Manipulation is an ugly word. None of us likes to believe we could ever be guilty of this activity. Yet when emotionally dependent relationships form, manipulation often becomes the glue that holds them together.

To explain what we mean by manipulation, we came up with a working definition:

"Attempting to control people or circumstances through deceptive or indirect means".

Webster’s Dictionary describes manipulation as being insidious, which means:

1. Treacherous – awaiting a chance to entrap.

2. Seductive – harmful but enticing.

3. Subtle – developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent, having a gradual but cumulative effect.

Some typical forms of manipulation used to begin and maintain dependencies:

1 Finances – combining finances and personal possessions, moving in together.

2 Gifts – giving gifts and cards regularly for no special occasion, such as flowers, jewelry, baked goods, and gifts symbolic of the relationship.

3 Clothes – wearing each others’ clothing, copying each others’ styles.

4 Romanticism’s – using poetry, music, or other romanticism’s to provoke an emotional response.

5 Physical affection – body language, frequent hugging, touching, roughhousing, back and neck rubs, tickling, and wrestling.

6 Eye contact – staring, giving meaningful or seductive looks; refusing to make eye contact as a means of punishment.

7 Flattery and praise – "You’re the only one who understands me."

"I don’t know what I’d do without you." Proverbs 29:5 says "Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet."

8 Conversational triggers – flirting, teasing, using special nicknames, referring to things that have special meaning to both of you.

9 Failing to be honest – repressing negative feelings or differing opinions.

10 Needing "help" – creating or exaggerating problems to gain attention and sympathy.

11 Guilt – making the other feel guilty over unmet expectations: "If you love me, then … "
"I was going to call you last night, but I know you’re probably too busy to bother with me."

12 Threats – threats
of suicide and backsliding can be manipulative.

13 Pouting, brooding, cold silences – when asked, "What’s wrong", replying by sighing or saying, "Nothing".

14 Undermining partner’s other relationships – convincing him others do not care about him, making friends with partner’s other friends in order to control the situation.

15 Provoking insecurity – withholding approval, picking on partner’s weak points, threatening to end the relationship.

16 Time – keeping the other’s time occupied so as not to allow for separate activities.

These are common ways manipulation is used to hold dependent relationships together. Some of these things are not sinful in and of themselves. Honest praise and encouragement, giving of gifts, hugging and touching are important aspects of godly friendship. Only when these things are used for selfish ends — to bind or control another, to arouse responses leading to sin — do they become manipulative.

Why Are Dependencies Hard To Break?

Even when both parties realize a relationship is unhealthy, they may experience great difficulty in breaking the dependency. Often those involved will begin to separate, only to run back to each other. Even after dependencies are broken, the effects may linger on for some time. Let’s look at some reasons why these attachments are so persistent.

There are benefits.

We usually don’t involve ourselves in any kind of behavior if we don’t believe it benefits us in some way. As painful as dependency is, it does give us some gratification. The fear of losing this gratification makes dependent relationships hard to give up. Some of the perceived benefits of an emotional dependency include:

1 Emotional security
a dependent relationship gives us the sense that we have at least one relationship we can count on. This gives us a feeling of belonging to someone.

2 Intimacy
Our need for intimacy, warmth, and affection might be filled through this relationship.

3 Self worth
Our ego is boosted when someone admires us or is attracted to us. We also appreciate feeling needed.

4 Relief from boredom
A relationship like this might add excitement and romance when life seems dull otherwise. In fact, the stressful ups and downs of the relationship can become addictive.

5 Escape from responsibility
The focus on maintaining the relationship can provide an escape from confronting personal problems and responsibilities.

6 Familiarity
Many people don’t know any other way of relating. They are afraid to give up the "known" for the "unknown".

We can’t see it as sin.

The culture we live in has taken the truth that "God is love" and turned it around to mean, "Love is god". In modern history, romantic or emotional love is viewed as a law unto itself: when you "love" someone (meaning: when you have intense romantic feelings for someone), anything you do with that person is "OK". Viewed in this light, dependent relationships seem beautiful and noble. Especially if there is no sexual involvement, dependent attachments are easy to rationalize. Genuine feelings of love and friendship might be used to excuse the intense jealously and possessiveness present in the dependency.

Also, we may not be able to see how a dependent relationship separates us from God. "I pray more than ever", one woman told us. What she didn’t mention was that she never prayed about anything but her dependent relationship. Sometimes people say, "This friend draws me even closer to God." What usually has happened is that the emotional dependency has given them a euphoric feeling that masquerades as "closeness to God". When the friend withdraws even slightly, God suddenly seems far away!

Root problems are not dealt with.

We might end a dependent relationship by breaking it off or moving away. However, if we still have unhealed hurts, unfilled needs, or an unrepentant heart, we’ll fall right into another dependent relationship or return to the one we left. Dealing with the surface symptom rather than the real problem leaves the door open to future stumbling.

Spiritual influences are overlooked.

When we ignore the Holy Spirit’s correction, we make ourselves vulnerable to satanic oppression. Those who willingly enter dependent relationships become candidates for spiritual deception. Wrong begins to seem right to them and truth begins to sound like a lie. When breaking free from dependent relationships, we sometimes overlook the importance of spiritual warfare: prayer, fasting and deliverance. If emotional ties have gone deep into a person’s life, especially if sexual sin has been involved, there’s the need to break the bonds that have formed between the two people. When dependency has been a lifelong pattern, ties need to be broken with all past partners as well, If the spiritual aspects are not dealt with thoroughly, this sin pattern will continue.

We don’t want to give up our sin.

Counselors know the frustration of going through all imaginable steps of counseling, support, and spiritual warfare on behalf of a counselee only to realize this individual has no interest in changing. People in dependent relationships sometimes say they want out, but they really want to be relieved from the responsibility of doing anything about the problem. They hope talking to a counselor will free them from the pressures of their conscience. Meanwhile, their desire and intent is to continue having the dependent relationship. Sometimes the bottom line is this: an emotional dependency is hard to break because the individuals involved don’t want it to be broken.

"For you were once in darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light, for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true, and find out what pleases the Lord." Ephesians 5:8-10

Healing for this sin that so deeply affects our ability to relate to others is found through right relationship with Christ and the members of His body. In exploring "The Path Out of Dependency", we look at sugg

estions coming directly from Christians who’ve battled this sin, yet now are learning to enjoy relationships that reflect God’s design and intent.

The Path Out of Dependency.

The tendency to draw our life and security from another human being is a problem nearly everyone faces. However, it’s only after we encounter repeated frustration and sorrow in emotionally dependent relationships that we hunger for something more satisfying. We long to find contentment and rest in our relationships with others, but how do we break the old patterns?

Before we start exploring the different elements in overcoming dependency, we need to grasp an important truth: there is NO FORMULA that leads us to a transformed life. Lifelong tendencies towards dependent relationships can’t be changed by following "ten easy steps". Jesus Christ desires to do an intimate and unique work within each of us by the power of His Holy Spirit. Change will come as we submit to Him and cooperate with that work. The guide-lines we’re considering here illustrate ways God has worked in various people’s lives to bring them out of emotional dependency. Some of the suggestions apply to gaining freedom from a specific relationship; others pertain to breaking lifelong patterns. All represent different aspects of a whole picture: turning away from forms of relationship rooted in our sin nature and learning new ways of relating based on our new natures in Christ.

Elements In Overcoming Emotional Dependency

Making a commitment to Honesty.

In the second part of this series, we covered some reasons why dependencies are hard to break. One reason was that as a result of the deception that sets in, we can’t see dependency as sin. This deception is broken when we are honest with ourselves, admitting we’re involved in a dependent relationship and acknowledging our dependency as sin. Then we’re ready for honesty with God, confessing our sin to Him. We don’t have to hide our confusion, our anger, or any of our feelings; we just need to pour out our hearts to Him, asking Him to give us the willingness to obey His will in this matter. The next challenge is being honest with another person. We can seek out a mature brother or sister in Christ and confess to them, "Look I’m really struggling with my feelings towards my partner on the evangelism team. I’m getting way too attached to her. Could you pray with me about this?" As we "walk in the light" in this way, we can be cleansed and forgiven. If we’re aware of specific ways we’ve manipulated circumstances to promote the dependent relationship, we can ask forgiveness for these actions, too. The deeper the honesty, the deeper the cleansing we’ll receive. In choosing someone to share with, the best choice is a stable, trustworthy Christian who is not emotionally involved in the situation. This person can then intercede for us in prayer and hold us accountable, especially if we give them freedom to periodically ask us "how things are going". Extreme caution needs to be used in sharing our feelings with the one we’re dependent on. It’s better to seek the counsel and prayer of a spiritual elder before even considering this step, and even then, we need to ask the Lord to shine His light on our motives.

Introducing Changes in Activities: Gradual Separation.

Whether the dependency has been mutual or one-sided, we usually begin to plan our lives around the other person’s activities. In dealing with dependent relationships in Love in Action, San Rafael, we don’t advocate the idea of totally avoiding another member of the body of Christ. However, we do recognize that a "parting of the ways" is necessary in breaking dependency. For example, we don’t recommend that a person stop attending church just because the other person will be there. But we do know that placing ourselves unnecessarily in the presence of the person we’re dependent on will only prolong the pain and delay God’s work in our lives.

Allow God To Work.

This sounds so obvious, but it’s not as easy as it seems! After we confess to God that we’re hopelessly attached to this individual and are powerless to do anything about it, we invite Him to come in and "change the situation". The Lord never ignores a prayer like this. Some people begin to confront us about this relationship, but we assure them we have it all under control. Our friend decides to start going to a different Bible study, and soon we find a good reason to switch to the same one. We ask God to work in our lives, but then we do everything in our power to make sure He doesn’t! I’ve learned from my own experience that thwarting God’s attempts to take someone out of my life only produces prolonged unrest and agony. Cooperation with the Holy Spirit brings the quickest possible healing from broken relationships.

Preparing for Grief and Depression.

Letting go of a dependent relationship can be a painful as going through a divorce. If we acquaint ourselves with the grief process and allow ourselves to hurt for a season, our healing will come faster. If we repress our pain and deny ourselves the time we need to recover, we’ll carry around unnecessary guilt and bitterness. Some people have said that they found the Psalms to be especially comforting during this time of "letting go".

Cultivate Other Friendships.

Even if it’s difficult, scary, and our hearts are not in it … we need to do it. Our feelings will catch up later, and we’ll be glad we’ve made the investment in the lives of our new friends. The Lord will choose relationships for us if we’ll let Him. Willingness to accept the friends He gives us will deepen our relationship with Him as well. He knows just the relationships we need to draw out our special qualities and chip off our rough edges.

Discover God’s Vision for Relationships.

If we love another person as God loves him, we’ll desire to see that man (or women) conformed to the image of Christ. The Lord wants to bring forth qualities in us that reflect His character and gifts that enable us to do His work. In a recent issue of the This may sound tough, but our willingness to be disciplined emotionally might just make or break a friendship. When we exchange another’s best interests for our own neediness, we run the risk of losing the friendship." If we desire an exclusive emotional involvement with this friend, then our desires are in conflict with what the Lord wants. We need to ask ourselves, "Am I working with God or Against Him in the person’s life?

Resolve The Deeper Issues.

The compulsion to form dependent relationships is a symptom of deeper spiritual and emotional problems that need to be faced and resolved. Self-analysis is th

e least effective way to uncover these problems. The most effective way is to go directly to Jesus and ask Him to show us what’s wrong. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, Who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) Another effective way is to go to those God has placed in positions of authority over us and submit to their counsel and prayer. For some, a long-term counseling relationship will help us face the sins we need to repent of and the hurts that need healing. The desire to find our identity and security in another human being is a common sin problem with a myriad of possible causes. Confession, repentance, deliverance, counseling, and inner healing are means the Lord will use to bring purity and emotional stability into our lives. The healing and forgiveness we need are ours through Jesus’ atonement. We can receive them by humbling ourselves before Him and before others in His body.

Prepare For The Long Haul.

Sometimes victory escapes us because we prepare for a battle rather than a war. Whether we are trying to gain freedom from a specific attachment or from lifelong patterns of dependency, we need to prepare for long-term warfare. We need to know ourselves: our vulnerabilities, the types of personalities we are likely to "fall for", the times when we need to be especially careful. We need to know our adversary: know the specific lies Satan is likely to tempt us with and be prepared to reject those lies, even when they sound good to us! More than anything, we need to know our Lord. We need to be willing to believe God loves us. Even if we cannot seem to feel His love, we can take a stand by faith that He does love us and begin to thank Him for this fact. As we learn of God’s character through His Word, we can relinquish our images of Him as being cruel, distant, or unloving. A love relationship with Jesus is our best safeguard against emotionally dependent relationships.

Is There Life After Dependency?

Though overcoming dependence may be painful for a season, it is one of the most curable ailments known to man. Often people are so healed that they cannot even conceive of the extent of their former bondage to dependent relationships. The immediate reward in giving up a dependent relationship is peace with God. Even in the midst of pain over the loss of the dependency, we experience peace, relief, and joy as our fellowship with God is restored. "It’s like waking up after a bad dream" one woman told us.

Peace with ourselves is another blessing we receive. It’s much easier to like ourselves when we are not scheming and striving to maintain a relationship we know God does not desire for us. When we have relinquished a dependent attachment, we are no longer tormented with fear of losing the relationship. This, too, brings peace to our hearts.

In the aftermath of dependency, we discover a new freedom to love others. We are members of one another in the body of Christ. When our attentions and affections are wrapped up totally in one individual, other people in our lives are suffering for it. They are not receiving the love from us God intends them to have.

Individuals who have given up dependent relationships say they discover a new caring and compassion for people that’s not based on sexual or emotional attraction. They find they are less critical of people and less defensive. They begin to notice that their lives are founded on the real security found through their relationship with Christ, not the false security of a dependent relationship.

And, finally, overcoming dependency brings us a freedom to minister to others. We can only lead others where we have been willing to go ourselves. When we are no longer rationalizing wrong attachments, we have new liberty in the Spirit to exhort and encourage others! Our discernment becomes clearer, and spiritual truth is easier to understand and accept. We become clean vessels, fit for the Lord’s use.

In our desire to remain free from this problem, we need to remember that hiding from people is not the alternative to dependency. Dependency is a subtle counterfeit to the tremendously rich and fulfilling relationship the Lord intends for us to have through Him. If we are trying to overcome the sin of dependency, let’s remember that Jesus is not harsh with us. He will teach us to love people in a holy way, and He knows that this takes time. There is a battle between the flesh and the spirit in every way of our lives – relationships are no exception. But Jesus is the one who is bringing His body together, and we are learning. "I am confident of this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

John 15:15,

"I have called you friends."

Friendships are made, not born

Christ Himself is our model. He reaches out to us and offers us more than just friendship. He offers us eternal life with Him. He is always there for us and forgives us endlessly. He knows us inside and out and loves us anyway.

We are all born into a family, but we grow into friendships. Members of your family may be your best friends. But if they are, I suspect it’s more a matter of spirit than of blood.

Friends are a priceless gift from God. According to the dictionary, a friend is one person linked to another by esteem, respect, or affection.

One of the advantages of having friends with whom we can have deep conversations about things that matter is the opportunity to discuss each other’s beliefs and doubts.

Developing new friends:

1. Show a real interest in the lives of others. This means asking questions and really caring about their lives, not just your own.

2. Go out on a limb. Invite someone you’d like to know to do something with you.

3. Don’t give up too easily. If someone doesn’t immediately jump at the chance to build a friendship, be patient. Some people need a little more time.

4. Talk to God about your desire for friends. Ask Him to help you find good friends.

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                            (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Counseling with the Mind of Christ

                 The_Mind_of_Christ

I Corinthians 2:16 "For “who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.”

Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Philippians 2:5-8 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”

In order to have the mind of Christ, we are going to have to present ourselves to God for a transforming of our very carnal minds. What is the ‘Christ Mind’ … surely it must be the consciousness (the mind) in which Jesus functioned … in which he ‘walked’. ‘He that hath seen me … hath seen the Father’ … ‘I and my father are one’, he said. He knew that He and God … ‘His source’, were One … One and the same. So … HE ‘WALKED’ AS GOD … in God consciousness. He dwelt in the ‘Kingdom’ of God… in the consciousness of being God!


In Phillipians 2:5, the apostle Paul said, ‘let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. In Mathew 6:33 Jesus said, ‘seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you’. He was not talking about a place … he was talking about a State of Mind! The ‘kingdom of God’ … IS A STATE OF MIND … the CHRIST MIND! We have been told that it is within us (the Kingdom of God), but we have never been told that it is a state of mind When we realize that we are One with our Source … that each of us is the Source manifesting … we begin to take upon ourselves the likeness of our Source. That likeness, is the CHRIST. To function in that consciousness… AS THE SOURCE… is to function in the Mind of Christ  !

Biblical counseling seeks to lead the believer to the end of his strength – regardless of how productive (or nonproductive) such "strength" may have proven to be – and into the certainty of Christ’s strength through him! The Holy Spirit, often through the school of adversity, always works against the believer’s dependency upon the flesh. Ultimately his flesh becomes nonproductive by Supernatural design at which time many seek counseling.

The counselor who uses techniques generated by unregenerate minds to help such a believer cut his losses is actually interrupting God’s process of bringing that Christian to the end of his personal resources. The more "skilled" and "effective" the counselor, the more he sets God back to square one, having to begin the breaking process all over again.

But what is biblical counseling and what distinguishes it from other counseling approaches?

What is the goal of counseling?
The goal of counseling will often vary, and experienced counselors will tailor their approaches to their clients’ needs.

What is the goal of secular counseling?
Secular counseling is grounded in humanism, and most often seeks to help a person adjust to difficult circumstances. The processes may include client education, behavioral techniques, and cognitive restructuring (changing one’s thoughts), just to name a few. But the end goal will most likely be some type of adaptation that provides surface problem or symptom relief.

What is the goal of Christian counseling?
Christian counseling is grounded in the Bible, and most often seeks to help a person embrace the pain of his experience through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The motivation will be different than secular counseling. For example, a Christian counselor’s goal is to use the Word of God to being healing and deliverance (Psalm 107:20. The Word of God is the Rational Expression of God which itself has creative power and is God’s medium of communication with the human race. John1:1–14, the creative word of God, which is itself God and incarnate in Jesus.

Theos: Which transcribes to "God" in Greek

Logos: Which transcribes "The Word: Rational Process of Thought" in Greek

Counseling with God’s Rational Process of Thought which is Mind of God causes a "rational change of mind" and a process of internal change.  The Logos renewing the mind will be a greater knowledge and enjoyment of God not based on circumstances.

First, what is

NOT necessarily biblical counseling?

1. Simply attaching the word Christian to the counseling approach does not make it biblical. Much counseling that draws on psychological and therapeutic concepts is presented as Christian when in fact it is Christian in name only.

2. A Bible perched on the counselor’s desk corner or on an end table doesn’t mean the counsel being given conforms to the Scriptures.

3. Just because the counselor is a born-again Christian or even a Pastor does not mean his counsel is biblical. He may have been trained in any of a myriad of popular counseling systems that are not derived from Scripture, but rather from secular sources.

4. Using Bible verses to support the coun

sel being given does not mean the counsel is biblical. A Bible passage can be taken out of context and misused to support something the Bible simply does not say.

5. A simplistic dispensing of Bible verses and prescribing prayer is not biblical counseling.

6. A kind, loving, accepting stance on the part of the counselor should not be interpreted as necessarily biblical counseling. It may be reflecting a non-directive counseling methodology that helps the counselee feel better but doesn’t solve the problem God’s way.

THEN WHAT IS BIBLICAL COUNSELING?

How do you spot the real thing? The following will help you identify counseling that is truly biblical.

1. The counselor functions on the presupposition that Scripture is God’s inspired, inerrant, and sufficient Word. He views the Bible as the textbook for everything pertaining to life and godliness (II Timothy 3:16-17; II Peter 1:3-4).

2. The counselor knows there is always hope for change based on God’s promises and power in Jesus Christ (I Corinthians 10:13; Ephesians 3:20).

3. Appropriate portions of Scripture are investigated and discussed to shed God’s light on the problem. (E.g. – marriage problems: see Genesis 2; Ephesians 5; I Peter 3).

4. Biblical directives derived from these passages are applied to the problem. Practical ways of implementing those directives are assigned to help put off sinful thinking and behavior and put on godly thinking and behavior (Ephesians 4:22-24).

5. The counseling process includes the need for regeneration (John 3:3), the recognition of the sinful propensities of the heart (Jeremiah 17:9), the human capacity of habit (I Timothy 4:7), the importance of motivation and thought as well as behavior (Romans 12:2; I Corinthians 4:5), the individual’s responsibility before God to obedience (I John 5:3), and the sufficiency of God’s grace for every life problem (I Corinthians 10:13; II Corinthians 12:9).

6. Biblical counseling emphasizes a God-centered approach to solving problems. The goal is first to be concerned about pleasing God. Deliverance from the problem is secondary to seeing God in the problem and at work in the person’s life (Romans 8:28-29).

7. Biblical counseling is a ministry of the local church. The local church is God’s ordained agency to help His people grow and change into the likeness of Christ. In fact, while church leaders are especially responsible (Hebrews 13:17), God has called ALL believers to counsel one another to some degree (Romans 15:4).

Proverbs 14:12 says there is a way that seems right to men, but it ends in death.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free:

1-877-702-2GOD

                      (2463)

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Biblical Counseling: Defined

Throughout the counseling session, the goal is to change the counselee’s focus on the false self, a self of lusts and appetites to a realization of his true self, a self in union with Christ. This is accomplished by a continuous process of judging self, one’s own sins, not others; changing focus from self needs to one of accomplishing God’s purposes for his life by loving Him and others foremost; daily dying to the old man and putting-on the new man; and of maintaining a state of forgiving and reconciling throughout life. The ultimate goal now is for the counselee to be a disciple, to help and restore others to this same position whereas they, in turn, will do likewise.

The False Self

All of life in the natural sphere conditions and inclines one to deal with life’s experiences from a horizontal perspective, that is, to react from a self-protective and self-defensive posture, to insure one’s survival in a competitive and fallen environment. This pronounced self-focus degenerates, in time, until life is characterized by guilt and shame, anger and bitterness, and fear: a life devoid of the Presence of God. Life becomes filled with the presence of self attempting to meet the needs of self by a fruitless search for the meaning of life in a world system energized by evil.

A person in this condition seeks relief by the fashions and customs of this world, by the lusts and appetites of the flesh, by justifying his own behavior, by placing the blame on others, by seeking peace and joy in things, people, and possessions. Emphasis is on what others have done or failed to do, and the remedy is to change others and the circumstances of life by whatever human (fallen) resources are available. The focus is on self, to save self and to use others, and the things of the world to find the meaning of life.

The True Self

All that was done to us, what we have done to others, the failures, the ills, the violations of our persons, the brutalities, the perversions of life, rejections, death of loved ones, tragedies, loneliness, abandonment, Jesus paid the penalty for all these sins. Provided the means to handle the tragedies of life. We do not need to deal with these violations, and the tragedies of life on our own. Christ is in us to work out our salvation daily ( Phil. 2:12-13 ; Gal. 2:20 ; 2 Cor. 5:17 ; 2 Cor. 5:21 ; Rom. 6:3-6 ; Ezek. 18:20 ).

Being in Christ, we are new creatures and we are to deal with life now from a biblical perspective. Our problem is not with Satan, not with people, not with the circumstances of life, but our problem lies in our relationship with God. Our focus is to change from a concern about self, to a concern about God’s glory and that is accomplished by our godly responses to others and to life in general ( Rom. 5:17 ; 2 Cor. 5:21 ).

Dynamics of Problem Solving

(Heb. 3:13 ) Being ignorant of sin desensitizes and causes hardening.

(Rom. 1:20-32 ) After awhile you become your own god by establishing standards to justify self-centered pursuits. People perish because of ignorance; therefore, it is a question of becoming knowledgeable, of becoming sensitive, of recognizing that living in this world cannot be taken for granted ( Hosea 4:6 ).

The Ways of Man and the Ways of God

Approximately 230 psychological schools of thought are practiced in the world dealing with the study of man’s behavior, and the varied methods and means required for man to solve personal problems. These schools are reduced to five common characteristics.

1. Man is good : Humanism – independence from God – New Age: Man has everything necessary within to solve own problems – mind merely blocked by negative thinking or influences – develop positive thinking and draw from one’s own resources – see self as worthwhile and esteemed. What does God say? Ps. 62:9 ; Rom. 3:10-18,23 ; Rom. 7:18 .

2. Man is a superior animal: Basic view of man is that his behavior is wrongly conditioned or programmed by environment and circumstances. He needs to be reconditioned or reprogrammed by manipulation of behavior through use of positive and negative stimuli… He is artificially maneuvered to respond to reward and punishment in order to improve self. What does God say? John 15:4-5 ; Rom. 1:18-32 ; James 4:10 .

3. Man can change himself: Although being wounded by circumstances of life, man can change bad behavior. This is a combination of the above positions: that through education, logic and reason, man can overcome self. What does God say? Jer. 13:23 ; Ezek. 18:20 ; Ezek. 36:26-27 .

4. Man, a victim of conscience: Man driven by instincts, thwarted by family, by society, by upbringing, and by others, who are responsible for his problems. Deep analysis necessary, along with hypnosis, re-socialization, catharsis, self-actualization, free association, etc. What does God say? Ezek. 18:20 ; Phil. 2:3-4 ; 1 Tim. 4:1-2 .

5. Man, a bargainer: When the above doesn’t work, the world uses – trade-offs. You do this, and I will do this, a 50/50 arrangement. Imbalances are inevitable, the self nature always wants more than its share. What does God say? God commands us to love without expectation of return, to return good for evil. Phil. 2:3-4 .

Man’s way is always self-oriented, he is his own god, as evidenced by:

1. No biblical confrontation,

2. No conversion experience expected or even considered,

3. No repentance,

4. No work of the Holy Spirit,

5. No sanctification process in bearing the image of God.

Given impetus in modern times from the so-called Enlightenment and the Renaissance periods, this typifies and represents man’s attempt to save himself without God. Such concepts have culminated today in a society whose sinking foundations are being built on preferences (feelings) rather than principles (absolutes). Twisted human reason and logic replaces the Ten Commandments.

God’s Way of Handling Problems

( Phil. 3:13 ) God is the God of the ‘I AM’, He is not in the past, nor in the future, He is always in the present. We start from the present and each day thereafter – one day at a time.

· ( Luke 9:62 ) Looking back into the past will make you unfit for the present.

· ( Heb. 11:15 ) Thinking of the past makes one vulnerable, and weak.

· ( Rom. 8:28 ) Past events in our lives are irreversible. Why waste time and effort there.

Our reactions to those events can be changed as we allow God to intervene in the present, to reach into our experiences, to redeem us, to free us to love and worship God. Eventually we become lovers of God in our spirits instead of lovers of self by dwelling on the past.

(1 Tim. 4:7 ; Eph. 4:22-24 ) Thus, it is through discipline we become godly: by commitment to live God’s way in the present through the simple process of putting-off and putting-on – by the authority of God’s word and by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Accordingly, we change our coping mechanisms from reacting to life to responding to life on the basis of God’s word.

God’s Resources

· Holy Spirit – John 16:7-8,13 ; 1 Cor. 2:11-15 .

· Bible – 2 Tim. 3:16-17 ; Heb. 4:12 .

· Counselors – Gal. 6:1-2 ; Rom. 15:14 ; Prov. 15:22 .

· Start up the spiral by tackling the immediate problem first ( James 1:2 ). Act on known solutions, postpone acting when solutions are unknown ( James 1:5-8 ; John 7:17 ; Rom. 14:23 ). Continue up the spiral ( Heb. 5:14 ).

Attitude and Behavior

Ten Keys of the Beatitudes: Attitudes, what we are ‘to be’ based on Matt. 5-7 .

( Eph. 4:22-24 ) Our spirits have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit, but our minds must be renewed, and our foundation in life is to be Christ Himself. These ten foundational keys in the Sermon on the Mount are as follows:

1. ( Matt. 5:3 ) "Blessed are the poor in spirit…" Realization that there is nothing in myself whatsoever that I can draw upon or rely upon, but the full realization and acknowledgement that I need God now and forever in everything I do.

· We are poor in spiritual life. Thus we need God, all the time, a complete dependency on God.

· Learn about God, learn from God, and see God in all of life’s activities, view life from His perspective.

2. ( Matt. 5:4 ) "Blessed are those who mourn…" Realization that the crisis and difficulties I find myself in, the pains and sorrows will not last forever. They will change, comfort is on its way.

· Crisis and difficulties are never forever. Trials do not last forever because everything changes.

· There is a season for all things: rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with them who mourn. Crisis are only temporary, comfort awaits. Crisis are only opportunities to experience God’s presence and deliverance. Plan beyond the crisis ( 2 Chron. 20:7 ).

3. ( Matt. 5:5 ) "Blessed are the meek…" Realization that I must be in control of myself, that I must desire, must expect and must demand self to be disciplined, organized and structured.

· Don’t be mediocre, force self to do and go beyond the flesh. Do by your will not by your feelings.

· Don’t let circumstances control, but be in control by your will.

4. ( Matt. 5:6 ) "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…"

· Growth and knowledge doesn’t come to you, you must pursue and seek after it. Impose on yourself standards higher than others. In Christ, your potential is without limits.

6. ( Matt. 5:7 ) "Blessed are the merciful…"

· Make room for others to fail, and don’t be quick to judge them. Allow others to make mistakes. Give people space to make mistakes. We are all growing. Be patient . Mercy is the postponement of judgment. We are

inclined to judge and condemn. What you sow, you will reap ( Matt. 7:1-5 ).

· Be in a constant state of forgiving. Be quick to release others from offenses.

7. ( Matt. 5:8 ) "Blessed are the pure…"

· Develop a pure mind in everything, and you will see things from God’s perspective. Avoid the corruption and contamination of the world’s presentations upon one’s imagination by guarding what your eyes see, what you hear and what you speak. Your eyes, your ears, your tongue, and your senses are the gates of your heart ( Prov. 4:23 ).

· Look at life from God’s point of view, see that God is in everything. If the heart is pure, you will see God in all things whether negative or positive. As a man thinks, so is he. To the pure all things are pure, unto the corrupt all things are corrupt. As you see, hear, and speak that is what you will reap.

8. ( Matt. 5:9 ) "Blessed are the peacemakers…"

· Determine to be a positive influence, look for the good in others, look for the best and the better. Be the one to bring it about. Who is without sin, cast the first stone, look at life from this perspective… but for the grace of God, go I.

9. ( Matt. 5:10 ) "Blessed are those persecuted for righteousness sake…"

· Have a good attitude and enthusiasm toward life based on what you know. Nothing in life is to be feared, but to be understood. The world hates righteousness. Rejoice and be glad, so suffered those before you. Rejoice for great is your reward as you stand firm in the truth.

10. ( Matt. 5:11 ) "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you…"

· Expect the best and prepare for the worst. See that difficulties in life are normal. Get ready for persecution. They hated Jesus, and they will hate you. Expect this. Be prepared to bless and to pray for those who are against you.

11. ( Matt. 5:12 ) "You are the salt of the earth…"

· You are important for the world, for humanity, and for your generation. Know your value and your worth. We are to be the example for the world to follow. This is the spirit of Christ: that we are the elite, that we influence the best in life, that we are the standard for the world (Matt. 28:18-20 ).

In His Grace Forever,

Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline and

Biblical Counseling Center

Call Toll Free: 1-877-702-2GOD

                                                     (2463)

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

How Godly Promises Create New Behaviors

Reticular Activating System

Psalm 16:6 – The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.

Matthew Chapters 3 & 4 – The attacks against Jesus Christ was against his person and character, which makes up his divine identity.

The Lord addressed and surnamed Simon to Peter and addressed him in a new identity.

When Andrew introduced his brother Simon (Peter’s original name) to Jesus, we are told, “Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter)” (John 1:42). The meaning of the words Cephas (Aramaic) and Peter (Greek) is ‘rock’. Reading the Gospel stories, one gets the impression that Peter was anything but a rock. He was very much aware of his own sinfulness (Luke 5:8), an impetuous character, often speaking out of turn (e.g. Mark 8:32, 33; 9:5, 6). Finally he denied his knowledge of Jesus three times, after boasting he would die for him (Mark 14:29-31; 66-72).

However, when Jesus looks at us he sees not so much what we are, but what we can become if we are willing to let him manage our lives in his way. Therefore, he gives Simon the new identity of Peter, the rock, and sets about working on him to produce the character that is in line with that identity.

Humans have the unique ability to define their identity, choose their values and establish their beliefs. All three of these directly influence a person’s behavior. Conscious use of effective biblical promises can modify any and all of these three behavior controlling factors resulting different responses than would have occurred previously to a given situation.

“From the brain and the brain alone arise our pleasures, joys, laughter and jests, as well as our sorrows, pains and griefs” Hippocrates

Our frame of mind:

Not only do we only know God through Jesus Christ, but we only know ourselves through Jesus Christ; we only know life and death through Jesus Christ. Apart from Jesus Christ we cannot know the meaning of our life or our death, of God or of ourselves.

Humans have the unique ability to:

1) Define their identity

2) Choose their values

3) Establish their beliefs.

A fundamental principle of psychology is: “People are internally compelled to respond to situations in ways that will support or be consistent with their beliefs.”

When a person reaches to turn-on a light switch or turns the key in a car’s ignition, his action is motivated by the belief, based on past experience, that light will be produced or that motor of the car will begin to run. A person with no belief of light being produced by changing the mechanical position of a lever or that transportation is possible would not be motivated to take these simple actions.

One definition of values is: “A value is a principle that promotes well-being or prevents harm.”

Another definition of “values” is “They are our guidelines for our success about what is acceptable.”

One resource on values defines Personal Values as:

“Emotional beliefs in principles regarded as particularly favorable or Important for the individual.”

Our values associate emotions to our experiences to guide our choices, decisions and actions.

“When the will and the emotions are in conflict, the emotions most often win.” Consequently, a person’s actions rarely conflict with their values and distress is felt when they do conflict.

A person’s observations of their environment are filtered through his Values to determine whether or not he should expend energy to do something about his experiences.

“Values are the scales we use to weigh our choices for our actions,

Whether to move towards or away from something.”

One of the things a person holds most important is her/his “identity.” People will behave in accordance with their definition of themselves or their self-image. A person’s beliefs, values and identity are usually acquired unconsciously based on his personal experience or observations of others’ experiences as to that produces desirable or undesirable results in the environment.

Physiologists have been able to identify the parts of the human brain that are involved in producing behavior in accordance with beliefs, values and identity.

Reticular Activating System 2

All information collected by human senses is passed through a net-like group of cells, known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS), located near the top of the brain stem. The RAS compares the data received with accepted values, positive and negative (threats), and beliefs stored in memory and determines whether or not immediate action is required. These nuclei receive input from most of the body’s sensory systems (eg sight, smell, taste, etc) and other parts of the brain, such as the cerebellum and cerebral hemispheres. The results of the RAS’s comparison are communicated to the amygdala near the mid-brain.

The Gatekeeper to consciousness or the spark of the mind, the reticular formation connects with major nerves in the spinal column and brain. It sorts the 100 million impulses that assault the brain each second, deflecting the trivial, letting the vital through to alert the mind. The mind cannot function without this catalytic bundle of cells. Damage to them results in coma the loss of consciousness.

When these impulses are registered in our emotional brain, we begin to feel or allow ourselves to be conscious of what we are feeling. When they are registered in our neo-cortex, we begin to think, imagine, relate, or intuit. It is also possible that we do not become conscious of much of the incoming energy until later. At night, entering into the deep relaxation of sleep, we may allow ourselves to access more information, which may appear in images or verbal messages we call dreams — the most subtle language coming from this brain.

The amygdala produces neuro-chemicals that cause emotions consistent with the nature of and proportional to the match between environment and values and beliefs. The neuro-chemicals initiate the chemical processes needed for the action to be taken. If the emotions produced are strong enough, the perceived information is blocked from reaching the logical, rational and conscious executive center of the brain, the pre-frontal lobes.

In which case, the resulting behavior will be automatic, not necessarily logical or rational, and completely in accordance with the person’s strongest held beliefs, values and/or identity.

A person’s beliefs about his/her identity and what is important determines his or her response to the stimuli received from the environment. These beliefs are stored in the subconscious mind and are subject to change by the conscious mind. Before a child learns to count correctly, he only knows the names of numbers not the sequential order for them.

Once he makes a conscious decision to count correctly, he memorizes the correct order through repetition and positive reinforcement. Through these methods the belief is built

The same process of repetition using biblical promises can modify or create New beliefs about a person’s identity and/or what is important to him (His Values).

Simple verbal repetition of statements intended to become new Beliefs, values or identity will result in these being stored for use by the RAS for comparison with the environment being experienced. The longer the period of time affirmations are repeated the higher the priority they are given in a person’s value system and therefore the more they influence the person’s behavior.

neuroneglial_cell

Although extremely complex, the brain is largely made up of only two principal cell types: neurons and glial cells. There are over 100 000 million neurons in the brain and an even greater number of glial cells It is estimated that there are more than 10 000 million cells in the cerebral cortex alone

The cell type specialized for the conduction and transmission of electrical signals. Neurons do not function in isolation, they are assembled into circuits that innervate (To supply an organ or a body part with nerves or nervous stimulation, eg the cervical nerves innervate the arms.)the body to transmit sensory and motor signals to all areas of the body.

axon The structure of neurons, including the axons (The long, thread-like part of the nerve cell that extends from the cell body. The axon is covered by a sheath of myelin (The soft, white, partially fatty material which makes up the sheath surrounding a nerve axon.) It insulates the axons and enables signals to be conducted along them at a faster rate and is specialized for signal transduction; at the end of the axon, the nerve impulses are transmitted to other neurons or to effector organs and dendrites (The treelike dendriteextensions of a neuron. Most neurons have multiple dendrites, which are short and typically highly branched. Dendrites are specialized for receiving information and form synaptic contacts with the terminals of other nerve cells to allow nerve impulses
to be transmitted, help to form these circuits.

Typically, consistent daily repetition over a minimum period of 3 of 5 weeks is necessary to create new behaviors.

The greater the difference between the current beliefs, values and identity and the intended ones; the longer is the time needed for repetition to produce the new behaviors. Ultimately, the affirmation will dominate over the previous beliefs, values or identity trait in the person’s subconscious and will automatically produce the corresponding behavior.

This process can be accelerated by doctrinal promises that produce emotional responses and vivid images when they are verbalized. The more intense the emotion the quicker the realization of the promise. The clearer and more complete the image that is triggered by the promise, the more accurately and quickly the intention will be realized.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Cause and Location Based Ministries

Cause and Location Based Ministries
By John Schmidt
We often use terms that are not commonly heard, so we like to define them to make it possible for everyone involved with the Pastoral Advocacy Network to be working with the same understandings. Today I want to define the terms “Cause” based ministries and “Location” based ministries as we use them.

America was founded primarily on the concept of a “location” based ministry. When our forefathers arrived here from various parts of the world they brought with them a strong vision for planting churches in every community. These were led by ministers who were taught to establish the local church model. All across our land, wherever new towns and cities were built, local churches sprang up to meet the growing needs of an expanding community. They grew the fastest in the densely populated areas. They mushroomed where traveling distance, the best communication opportunities and large sanctuaries provided a gathering place for the religious programs as well as protection from the elements. For many, the distance that the church bell could be heard determined the size of its harvest field.
Even today, the “location” based ministry concept of evangelizing our nation dominates our understanding of the term “church”. For generations we have been taught to believe that the “location” based ministry or local church is the center of spiritual activity. Its stained glass sanctuary is the ideal environment to worship God. Its classrooms, the training centers to teach people spiritual principles. The fellowship hall is for various secondary gatherings. Their altars are for sinners to repent and saints to be refreshed. And, it’s offering plates, the biblical storehouse for tithes and offerings. Generally speaking, “location” based ministries are attendee funded. The leaders are mainly Seminary or Bible College trained professionals, though many churches are led by non-professionals.

Most church planters say that people will only go to a specific church if it is within a 10-15 minute drive, has adequate parking, the programs they desire and can identify with its music and message. This research and training clearly help define the layout of its structures, development of its ministry programs, its means of funding and its mode of presenting its message. When these criteria are met people recognize it as a church. Such location based ministries are essential to the development of vibrant faith in our land.
To the traditional pillar of the “location” based ministry the Lord is adding more and more of what we call “Cause” based ministry. The “Cause” based ministry is built on the concept that the ministry’s work is determined by a singular worthy cause. Their purpose is to meet the unmet needs of specific people in our world who desire a personal touch from God.
These ministries do not need buildings, or be concerned with traveling distance. They thrive on the fellowship of common pursuit, the joint worship of God while meeting the need of its cause, and training its participants by new methods of communication. Yet, “cause” based ministries are every bit a part of the true church, standing side by side with “location” based ministries.
“Cause” ministries are on the rise for a number of reasons:
  1. Communication and Involvement Opportunities. For the majority of history the best means to communicate something was to gather people together. Now, times are changing. Added to the radio, television, phone, and printed materials, the internet is opening unexpected opportunities not only to communicate, but for involvement of many people from many locations. You can email people all over the world inexpensively, having intense and meaningful relationships. Soon this will be expanded to include a means to talk over the internet and even connect visually by web cams. Right now you can send offerings and gifts directly to the people of need within minutes without having to work with the cumbersome bureaucracies of corporate organizations or denominations. What once was a bell on top of a church tower that rang out a call to its local church members is now an internet connection that draws people together from around the world to participate in the same ministry cause.
  2. Increase of Available Ministers. Many ministers are being reassigned by the Lord from “location” based ministries into “cause” based ministries. Discomforting things are happening to pastors and spiritual leaders everywhere that are driving them out of their pulpits. Whether they resign or are removed by a forced termination, the result is the same. They are without opportunity or desire to work in a “location” based ministry again, but retain the calling of God to serve somewhere. From the ranks of these displaced Pulpit Pastors God is raising up those who are becoming anointed Street Shepherds with a cause. Many of these Street Shepherds are beginning to see how God can use them to touch the lives of needy people that are not or cannot be addressed by the local churches. (See the definition of “The Principle of Reassignment.”)
  3. Creative New Vision. “Cause” based ministries are limited only by the God inspired imagination. When a minister is left alone with God very exciting things can happen as they heal. Rising from the ashes of their loss they are being transformed by the healing power of their Savior. They are experiencing a renewal of their calling and being re-energized with insight into what it means to win the lost. These new visions are being expressed in the creation of new ministries and methods.
  4. An Expanded Understanding of the Meaning of a Storehouse. A ministry storehouse for finances is the place that you have not only chosen to support with tithes and offerings, but have chosen to actually become personally involved. It is the place where you have seen its vision as your own and you can put your hand to its plow of service. There you can give of your life, energy, prayers, talents and money in fulfillment of the great commission to go into all of the world and preach the gospel.

These legitimate “cause” based ministries are a welcomed addition to established “location” based works that have graced our land since its founding. They are serving to expand the Kingdom of God in an ever increasing complex society and meet the biblical designation of “church”.

John Schmidt

Phone: 619-818-2901
E-mail:
Dignity@PastorsInPain.com
____________________
This above

article was very helpful and gave me insight to ministry that I never really thought about. Honestly it was life changing at the time I read it a few years ago.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Addiction a Learned Behavior?

Addiction a Learned Behavior?

Behaviorism originated in the field of psychology, but it has had a much

wider influence. Its concepts and methods are used in education, and many

education courses at college are based on the same assumptions about

man as behaviorism. Behaviorism has infiltrated sociology, in the form of

sociobiology, the belief that moral values are rooted in biology. What are the

presuppositions of behaviorism?

1. Behaviorism is naturalistic. This means that the material world is the ultimate reality, and everything can be explained in terms of natural laws. Man has no soul and no mind, only a brain that responds to external stimuli.

2. Behaviorism teaches that man is nothing more than a machine that responds to conditioning. One writer has summarized behaviorism in this way: “The central tenet of behaviorism is that thoughts, feelings, and intentions, mental processes all, do not determine what we do. Our behavior is the product of our conditioning. We are biological machines and do not consciously act; rather we react to stimuli.”

The idea that men are “biological machines” whose minds do not have any influence on their actions is contrary to the biblical view that man is the very image of God – the image of a creative, planning, thinking God. In fact, Skinner goes so far as to say that the mind and mental processes are “metaphors and fictions” and that “behavior is simply part of the biology of the organism.” Skinner also recognizes that his view strips man of his “freedom and dignity,” but insists that man as a spiritual being does not exist.

3. Consistently, behaviorism teaches that we are not responsible for our actions. If we are mere machines, without minds or souls, reacting to stimuli and operating on our environment to attain certain ends, then anything we do is inevitable. Sociobiology, a type of behaviorism, compares man to a computer: Garbage in, garbage out.

This also conflicts with a Christian worldview. Our past experiences and our environment do affect the way we act, of course, but these factors cannot account for everything we do. The Bible teaches that we are basically covenant creatures, not biological creatures. Our nearest environment is God Himself, and we respond most fundamentally to Him. We respond either in obedience to or rebellion against His Word.

4. Behaviorism is manipulative. It seeks not merely to understand human behavior, but to predict and control it. From his theories, Skinner developed the idea of “shaping.” By controlling rewards and punishments, you can shape the behavior of another person.

As a psychiatrist, one of Skinner’s goals is to shape his patients’ behavior so that he or she will react in more socially acceptable ways. Skinner is quite clear that his theories should be used to guide behavior: “The experimental analysis of behavior has led to an effective technology, applicable to education, psychotherapy, and the design of cultural practices in general, which will be more effective when it is not competing with practices that have had the unwarranted support of these theories.”

In other words, Skinner wants behaviorism to be the basis for manipulating patients, students, and whole societies.

The obvious questions, of course, are: Who will use the tools? Who will pull the strings? Who will manipulate the technology? No doubt, Skinner would say that only someone trained in behavioral theory and practice would be qualified to “shape” the behavior of other persons. But this is contrary to the biblical view, which commands us to love our neighbor, not to manipulate him.

In summary, the ethical consequences of behaviorism are great. Man is stripped of his responsibility, freedom, and dignity, and is reduced to a purely biological being, to be “shaped” by those who are able to use the tools of behaviorism effectively.

Learning new skills and effective skill building requires time and repetition. By the time they seek treatment, users habits related to their drug abuse tend to be deeply ingrained. Any given routine around acquiring, using, and recovering from use is well established and tends to feel comfortable to the addict, despite the negative consequences of the abuse. It is important that counselors recognize how difficult, uncomfortable, and even threatening it is to change these established habi

ts and try new behaviors.

Our lives are a series of habits, held together in perfect sequence by our subconscious mind. Whether it is over indulgence or the task of typing on my computer keyboard, the subconscious takes me through the paces without having to think about results – or consequences. Over 90% of our daily living is an action of habit, systematically driven by our subconscious mind. Healthy habits like washing our bodies, brushing our teeth, driving a car or looking both ways before crossing the street are behaviors learned by the Subconscious mind and fed back to us without a conscious thought.

  • All habits are learned behavior. The subconscious mind receives the impress of our repetitive thoughts in order to set habit patterns. Begin to take stock of your habits.

  • Be aware of your thinking patterns. Each thought and word is an affirmation. See if you are thinking negatively. Do not judge yourself. Merely observe your thoughts. Trust in your words and thoughts to create a healthy belief system. This happens by consistently receiving categories of doctrine and internalizing the word of God to develop new thoughts and spiritual habits.

  • Consciously set in motion healthy thoughts and the Word of God. Affirm positive thoughts with Words of Grace and Self-edification.

  • Do not allow the turbulence of change to cause you to falter from your healthy intent. While your subconscious is learning the new patterns, you are going to create a break in long established patterns.

Only a small percentage of the brain is under conscious control. We are responsible for this part of our thought processes. The vast majority of brain function is Subconscious.” Moreover, they point out, only “twenty percent of our decisions come from the conscious, reasoning mind. The rest come from

deep within.”

What is Learned Helplessness?

Some Depressed people became that way because they learned to be helpless. Depressed people learned that whatever they did is fruitless. During the course of their lives, depressed people apparently learned that they have no control.

The marketing experts at Hallmark say that 15 million Americans now attend weekly support groups for chemical addictions and other problems. (Some “experts,” as we shall see, place the figure much, much higher.) Another 100 million relatives are cheering on their addicted loved ones. This means that half of all Americans are either “in recovery” or helping someone who is.

In a clear voice, we must deal with what we have done and why it was wrong. And we must use the word ‘I’ not ‘it’ or ‘illness.’ I did it. I. I.” Self-Esteem Is the reestablishing of self-esteem with. Is this a key to “recovery”? While I believe there is a biblical basis for the Christian’s sense of worth that is based on being created in the image of God and being the object of God’s love (as evidenced by Christ’s substitutionary death on the cross), I believe the answer to this question must be no. First, scientific studies have shown no cause-and-effect link between self-esteem and behavioral problems. Moreover, when self-esteem is given priority it can easily conflict with the development of traits which the Bible accords much greater priority: self-denial and genuine humility (Mark 8:34-35; Rom. 12:3; Eph. 3:8; Phil. 2:3; 1 Tim. 1:15; 2 Tim. 3:1-5).

Related to this, based on reading a representative sampling of Christian recovery books, I don’t think the doctrine of total depravity has received sufficient recognition in the recovery movement. Yes, Christian recovery leaders clearly acknowledge that people are infected by sin. However, more often than not the bad in our lives is presented as being more the result of unjust social conditions or growing up in a bad environment. As one critic put it, “in place of the idea of original sin, recovery experts put forward their own first cause of all our ills—the American [dysfunctional] family.”

We must emphasize that regardless of the attainment of self-esteem, people will continue to behave badly and suffer the consequences for their actions because they have a nature that is bent on evil. Feeling good about ourselves will not remove or alter this depravity. Hence, seeking self-esteem as a solution to inappropriate behavior seems misguided.

A past-present connection cannot be denied regarding how people behave. But I do question whether such an in-depth examination of one’s past history and “resolving” childhood conflicts is a precondition to correct or appropriate behavior. I cannot agree with the idea that “we are bound (or condemned, some would say) to repeat the family experience we remember” (emphasis in original), and that “unresolved issues in childhood doom the emerging adult to recreate, to repeat, the past.” Besides, experts tell us that person’ memories can and often do distort the facts to one degree or another. Hence, a detailed investigation into the events of one’s past may not yield an accurate picture of what actually happened in that distant time anyway.

“It’s a bit like trying to drive a car while looking only in the rear view mirror. You don’t get very far that way, and you run the risk of a crack-up. I prefer to check the rear view from time to time, making sure that the reflection is accurate, but concentrate most of my attention on the road ahead. Only if I see something gaining on me from behind do I stop to deal with it.”

The apostle Paul had a legalistic upbringing, and was guilty of severely persecuting the church prior to his conversion. But instead of focusing on the past, he declared, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14).

Man’s way is always self-oriented or occupied with himself, he thinks he is his own god and worships himself and his own ideas when operating in rebellion by His idolatry of himself. These are his results of some one caught in idolatry of Self:

No biblical confrontation,
No conversion experience expected or even considered
No repentance
No work of the Holy Spirit

No sanctification process in bearing the image of God.

Like the farmer, you must disturb the soil to create the means to plant new seed, the kingdom of God is there within you, ready and supportive of your intentions. Habits are a healthy thing and your subconscious is your greatest ally if you will receive God’s thinking about every situation and let God love you right where you are in life. Only then can the process begin with the Grace of God teaching us to deny ungodliness and our own habits. To put on God’s thinking and mind instead of reliance upon ourselves in idolatry and rebellion.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Is Addiction a Disease?

Is Addiction a Disease?

Is it a Disease or sin?

Many doctors and insurance companies accept addiction as a disease because it is:

1) Predicable

2) Progressive

3) Physiologically debilitating characteristic of the normal functioning of a living organism

4) Treatable.

When a chemical or behavior interferes with the productivity, tranquility, efficacy, or well-being of any of these area and when a person is made aware that this is happening but still priests in using or acting out then that person is addicted not diseased.

By calling it a disease individuals are less likely to be condemned and more likely to get treatment that insurance companies will finance.

“The disease concept is out of tune

with the facts and a serious obstacle to rational solutions.”

It basically comes down to personal choice. What determines whether a person becomes dependent is how much he consumes and for how long, rather than his personality, psychodynamics, or biochemistry. Addiction is a progressive. It engulfs its victim psychologically and physically that creates a moral condition for which he or she is responsible. By calling addiction a disease, it tends to relieve personal responsibility. Its root cause is sin that remains not isolated becomes habitual which causes the surface problem of overt sickness.

God established protective boundaries for His children because He knows the dangers of disobedience, for the transgressor as well as for others affected by the sin. His Word warns us not to give in to temptation but to follow Jesus in a life of sacrifice, which is the way to true contentment. In contrast, the world says satisfaction is found in acquiring goods, wealth, status, and friends. Satan whispers the lie that gratification comes from self-indulgence. His goal of turning us away from God started with his temptation of Adam and Eve. The Creator had given them access to every tree in the Garden of Eden but one. The first man and woman stepped outside the limit set by the Lord, ate the forbidden fruit, and became separated from Him. Satan used doubt (“Did God really say?”), deceit (“You will not surely die”), and self-delusion (“You will be like God”) to achieve his aim (Gen. 3:1-4). He made rebellion against God—which is the root of all sin—seem very attractive. And the Enemy’s methods are the same today. The only way we can withstand the world’s clamor, the Devil’s whispers, and our own selfish desires is by immersing ourselves in God’s Word. We must focus our attention on knowing the Lord in all His fullness, believing His promises, and obeying His commands. Only through our relationship with Christ will we be able to fight the battle against sin and stand firm.

Sin plays no favorites. It works its way into every-one’s life without regard to age, race, or economic status. Regardless of the form it takes, it always tempts us to choose our own way. Rebellion is harmful and addictive. Repetitions of sinful behavior lead to more of the same, until the action is so entrenched that we cannot stop. We become enslaved. The descent into a pattern of disobedience begins in our minds. Once our thinking is involved, the influence extends to our behavior, eventually progressing until we are more entrenched than we ever imagined. Deception permeates the whole process. We tell ourselves there is no harm in what we’re doing. After all, other people behave the same way. Sin’s demands keep increasing, and yet its benefits are only short-term. Eventually, we experience emptiness instead of satisfaction, pain in place of comfort, and loss rather than gain. Habitual sin splits our mind and emotions. Then we spend less time meeting our responsibilities and more time satisfying cravings. Our care and concern for others diminishes too. Over time, feelings of guilt and entrapment can take their toll and lead to a desire to self-destruct.

Every human being has an inner need for a real and growing relationship with God. When the craving is denied, unrecognized, and unfilled, a search for something else will fill the vacuum. Addiction is any thinking or behavior t

hat is habitual, repetitious, and difficult or impossible to control. Addictions have one thing in common they change moods. Almost any person can be psychologically and or physically on drugs if that person is exposed to a high dosage for a long enough periods.

In his, book Diseasing of America, addiction researcher Stanton Peele breaks with this tradition. A disease conception of misbehavior is bad science and morally and intellectually sloppy, argues Peele. “Once we treat alcoholism and addiction as diseases, we cannot rule out that anything people do but shouldn’t is a disease.”

The disease conception of addiction acts to isolate the harmful behavior from the person. Thus when we claim that drugs, much like the flu, “get a hold” of you, we conveniently deflect from that which mediates behavior: personality, values, character or lack thereof. Once someone becomes involved with drugs, we explain everything they do by saying it was due to the drugs, forgetting, in the process of this argument, that the source of the addiction is the person and not the drug. An honest look at drug-use means we cannot separate it from the person. With the disease label as a protective rampart, addicts have taken to comparing their “disease” with having, let us say, diabetes or cancer.

Procrustes name means “he who stretches”, was a giant in Greek mythology who kept a house by the side of the road where he offered hospitality to passing strangers, who were invited in for a pleasant meal and a night’s rest in his very special bed.. What Procrustes didn’t volunteer was the method by which this “one-size-fits-all” was achieved, namely as soon as the guest lay down Procrustes went to work upon him, stretching him on the rack if he was too short for the bed and chopping off his legs if he was too long. Along these same lines, an article on recovery in the New York Times cited the Psychiatric News, which said: “Addiction medicine is at risk of becoming the laughingstock of the medical community by forcing everything into a Procrustean model of addiction.”

Another example of mislabeling is the practice of calling behavioral problems “diseases.” Now, of course, there are some mental disorders that can affect behavior—schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s disease, and some forms of depression—that are associated with physical diseases. However, does this mean that behavior can be diseased? It is critical to recognize that there is an element of volition in behavior that is not present in real, biological diseases. People do not succumb to apoplexy the way they succumb to adultery. Stanton Peele, in his book Diseasing of America: Addiction Treatment Out of Control, says that “disease definitions undermine the individual’s obligation to control behavior and to answer for misconduct. They legitimatize, reinforce, and excuse the behaviors in question—convincing people, contrary to all evidence, that their behavior is not their own.”

Critics thus emphasize that a “disease” is something one has; “behavior” has to do with what one does. Addressing this issue, anthropologist Melvin Konner said: “We would all like to point at an illness—a psychiatric label—and say of our weak or bad actions, ‘That thing, the illness, did it, not me. It.’ But at some point we must draw ourselves up to our full height, and say in a clear voice what we have done and why it was wrong. And we must use the word ‘I’ not ‘it’ or ‘illness.’ I did it. I. I.”

There is no human remedy for sin.

This is a divine remedy for sin and that is the cross of Calvary.

Mark 7: 20-23

20 And he said, that which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:

23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

Jesus lists thirteen items that proceed from the human heart.

___________________________________

Romans 1:28-31

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

The Apostle Paul lists 21 items that are “not fitting” or “not convenient”.

These words describe what is happening in our world today.

Galatians 5:19-21

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

The Apostle Paul presents the 17 acts of the sinful nature.

In Eph 4:22 he taught to put off that which is being corrupted by deceitful desire.

Eph 2:25-28

25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

27 Neither give place to the devil.

28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

The Apostle Paul lists 9 items to be “put off”

Related to this, based on reading a representative sampling of Christian recovery books, I don’t think the doctrine of total depravity has received sufficient recognition in the recovery movement. Yes, Christian recovery leaders clearly acknowledge that people are infected by sin. However, more often than not the bad in our lives is presented as being more the result of unjust social conditions or growing up in a bad environment. As one critic put it, “in place of the idea of original sin, recovery experts put forward their own first cause of all our ills—the American [dysfunctional] family.”

C. K. Chesterton once observed that the doctrine of fallen man is a Christian belief for which there is overwhelming observed evidence. Indeed, as one looks at the evidence, it would seem that our psychologized society is not getting any better. If anything, it seems that people (and society) are “sicker” than ever.

We must emphasize that regardless of the attainment of self-esteem, people will continue to behave badly and suffer the consequences for their actions because they have a nature that is bent on evil. Feeling good about ourselves will not remove or alter this depravity. Hence, seeking self-esteem as a solution to inappropriate behavior seems misguided.

In His Grace Forever,
Past

or Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Addictions Are About Behavior, Not Disease (part 1)
by Ilana Mercer

When it comes to thinking about addiction, opinions converge. Having bought into the addiction industry’s mantra, so-called social progressives and conservatives alike share the same ideological hangover from the Prohibition era, with a twist of AA sadism: all are religious about abstinence, and all accept as bible from Sinai the wisdom of coercing addicts into treatment regimens. But perhaps the greatest error made in the attempt at humane formulations about addiction is to cast as a disease what is essentially a problem of behaviour.

The dangers of gathering more and more behaviors under the disease label is not something pharmacology moguls, politicians or health care professionals ruminate about, despite the ramifications for a society already committed to a morality lite and to diminished personal responsibility. In his book Diseasing of America, addiction researcher Stanton Peele breaks with this tradition. Disease conceptions of misbehavior are bad science and morally and intellectually sloppy, argues Peele. “Once we treat alcoholism and addiction as diseases, we cannot rule out that anything people do but shouldn’t is a disease, from crime to excessive sexuality to procrastination.”

While the application of the medical disease model to addictions was developed to “remove the stigma from these behaviours”, there is NO genetic marker for alcoholism or drug addiction. Still, the misconception that these behaviors are linked to a genetic vulnerability is aired repeatedly by the media, in the absence of evidence. The rationale for using the disease model to describe addiction even though it is intellectually dishonest is that medical treatment is effective.

Yet another deception. An overview of controlled studies indicates that “treated patients do not fare better than untreated people with the same problems.” Of note is a 4500-subject-strong 1996 US epidemiological study conducted by the National Longitudinal Alcohol Epidemiological Survey. Treated alcoholics, it was found, were more heavily alcohol dependent on average than untreated alcoholics. Clearly a behavioral problem cannot be remedied by medical intervention. Addicts are cured when they decide to give up the habit.

The disease conception of addiction acts to isolate the noxious behavior from the person. Thus when we claim that drugs, much like the flu, “get a hold” of you, we conveniently deflect from that which mediates behavior: personality, values, character or lack thereof. Once someone becomes involved with drugs, we explain everything they do by saying it was due to the drugs, forgetting, in the process of this circular argument, that the source of the addiction is the person and not the drug. An honest look at drug-use means we cannot separate it from the person.

Heroin addicts are thus highly disposed to having social problems even before they become addicted; and truancy and smoking behavior serve as good predictors of future drug use.

With the disease label as a protective rampart, addicts have taken to comparing their “disease” with having, let’s say, diabetes or cancer. How opting to shoot up for the first time, then doing it again, then stealing cash to get some, even breaking and entering – mimic the organic disease process in cancer or diabetes is unclear.

As Peele explains, addictive disorders are known only by the behaviors they describe. In the absence of the ongoing behavior there is no way of telling whether the person is, or will be addicted. “By claiming that alcoholics are alcoholics even if they haven’t drunk for fifteen years, alcoholism is made to seem less tied to drinking behaviour and more like cancer,” but “a person does not get over cancer by stopping a … behavior”… while “the sole and essential indicator of successful remission of alcoholism is that a person ceases to drink”.

It is unfortunate that the various preventive programs school kids are exposed to are delivered by equivocating addicts-cum-activists who conveniently convey that “It” can happen to anyone, that kids have little control and that once diagnosed as an addict, always an addict. This sets in motion–where there is already some drug use–a self-defeating cycle of abstinence and relapse, not to mention an overall rise in drug related involvement.

Most youngsters outgrow their occasional binges and turn into responsible adults. For doing what they do as a rite of passage, teens and college students do not deserve to be labeled diseased. What they do need is to be held accountable for their behavior. Failure to hold the person who strays responsible for his actions means that you cannot credit the person who doesn’t. That’s the logic of diminished responsibilities all round.

For the rest, the lingering paranoia of the temperance and prohibition era, which has culminated in AA disease dogma, should be consigned to the historical dustbin.

© 2000 – 2001 Ilana Mercer
Previously Published in the Calgary Herald

Addiction is Not a Disease (Part II)
by Ilana Mercer

Any overdue blitz of the disease theory of addiction owes a great deal to Stanton Peele. So, here is an interview conducted with the author of Diseasing of America (1989). A psychologist and an attorney, Peele is an addiction expert with an international reputation. The author of 120 articles and eight books about chemical and relational addiction, Peele is a recipient of the Mark Keller Award from the Rutgers Center for Alcohol Studies, and the Lindesmith Award for Career Achievement in

Scholarship from the American Drug Policy Foundation.

Q: Dr. Peele, do you believe addiction is a disease?

A: No. Most emphatically not. It has become the style to call negative behaviors, which people often experience as compelling motivation, “diseases.” As though nail biting, overeating, and wife beating were like the malignant growth of cancer cells. Many self-defeating and anti-social behaviors have a common thread. People engage in them because they feel degraded and disapproved of, which feeds into their motivation to continue the negative behavior. But how ultimately do people stop drinking too much, overeating, and biting their nails? They feel, internally, that the balance of their desires and rewards is not to act this way; people make positive choices when they feel they have the opportunity to engage -and are supported – in more positive choices. The toughest addiction to quit is smoking. Right now about 50 million Americans have quit smoking, over 90% without a patch or formal therapy.

Q: How have we progressed to thinking about addiction as a disease?

A: We have developed a faith in medical advances that is steeped in the legend of the “microbe hunters”, the generation of researchers and physicians who identified the bugs that cause many of the major killers of humans. This worship of medicine has become a fetish in North America. If we can describe a malady in medical terms, we feel we have somehow conquered it. Yet with psychological disorders and problems of behavior, namely addictions – such labeling and accompanying medical mumbo jumbo have not led to improvement in treatment outcomes. In many ways, turning our sense of ourselves over to medicine seems to be making things worse. Surveys repeatedly confirm that a generation of education about addiction has led to people’s spiraling out of control now more than ever.

Q: What is the science on which the disease proponents of addiction base their demand for considering addiction a disease?

A: There is no inherited mechanism that leads a person to be unable to control their substance use, to go on tremendous binges, or to leave off their connection to people and environments in order to consume a substance. Genetic theories, being the modest things they are, can never explain the experience of loss of control. An overview of the research on alcohol and drugs NEVER supports the wild claims made by some proponents of the disease model. These claims reflect fundamentally antiscientific attitudes and a lack of understanding of the confluence of human motivation in response to experience, biology and external stimuli.

Consider this example: A 1996 headline in The New York Times, declared that brain images of addiction in action show its neural basis. The article reviewed research showing that many different drugs — namely heroin, alcohol, amphetamines or nicotine — activate common neural pathways. Its author surmised that these drugs bathe the neurons at these sites so as to reduce natural supplies of dopamine, and thus stimulate a craving for more of the drugs to compensate for this depleted supply of the neurotransmitter. And this was taken to mean that addiction is purely brain driven.

In my critique of this folly I explain that a wide range of activities stimulate the same pleasure centers in the brain — including sex, eating, working, consuming chocolate. This should alert us to the fact that these brain theories tell us nothing about differences in behavior, let alone addiction. Apparently, stimulation of a pleasure center is only one small component in the entire addiction syndrome. Moreover, if any activity can be pleasurable — from work, to sex, to parenting and so on — identifying activities as stimulating the pleasure center fails to explain why people find different things pleasurable and why different people react in destructive, addictive ways to some of these things, while others incorporate them into a balanced overall lifestyle.

Peele’s position is at odds within the drug reform movement. He is a proponent of harm reduction policies such as needle exchange, but is a strong opponent of a treatment industry that relies, for the most, on coercing addicts into rehabilitation.

© 2000-2001 Ilana Mercer
Published previously in the Calgary Herald

Characteristics of the Addictive Process

Initial use of these substances or behavior is usually accompanied by mood elevation and other affective changes that lead to their recreational use. Some drugs have actions that produce other desirable psychological effects, such as relaxation. Addictive drugs activate brain reward systems. However, the activation is much more intense causing the individual to crave the drug and to focus their activities around taking the drug. The ability of addictive drugs to strongly activate brain reward mechanisms and their ability to chemically alter the normal functioning of these systems can produce an addiction.

Characteristics of the addictive process are:

! Obsession and abnormal importance of the substance or behavior

! Persistence, inflexibility and repetition of the particular addictive behavior

! Relative immunity to adverse consequences and resistance to learned modification of behavior

! The charm of an interrelated system of which, Psychological defenses (mental defense mechanisms), function in concert to protect the individual from the full realization and acknowledgement of his addiction and hence provide cover and concealment for the continued expression of the addictive process. Psychological defenses (mental defense mechanisms) are normal and universal features of the human mind that operate consciously, half-consciously and unconsciously to protect the ego from awareness of difficult or painful feelings, facts and ideas. Normal defense mechanisms of particular importance in the maintenance of addictive disease include denial, paranoid projection, and avoidance, isolation of affect, rationalization and intellectualization. Harmful and ultimately painful addictive behaviors require a bodyguard of lies, distortions, and psychotic denial to fend off the natural corrective consequences of cognitive and behavioral dissonance resulting from addiction. In a sense, however, they are merely superficial and secondary aids to the addictive process, which originates and operates at a still deeper level of the mind. The addictive process eventually transforms the worldview of the addicted individual and even realigns his sense of himself and his identity, so that they facilitate and do not obstruct the continued expression of the addiction.

Just as a powerful river finds or creates channels around anything obstructing its flow, so does the addictive process defeat the rational and ethical resistances of the person within which it is active. In addition, in the process of constructing such alternative paths for its discharge, the addiction shapes the reality of the addict’s world and his very notion of himself. The worldview that is created by the addictive process is one that is compatible with and friendly to the interests of the addiction. Worldviews that are inconsistent with the continuation of the addiction are suppressed or eliminated.

Addictive interest has been justly compared to the more commonly known stage of romantic love in which the lover thinks constantly of the beloved. An individual in such a state of mind is said to be obsessed with their love object and to subordinate every other aspect of their existence, including at times their health, work, and other relationships to the fulfillment of the almost unbearable need and longing to be united with their beloved. There are many paths and ways to recover from addiction but all require the capacity for honesty with oneself and the willingness and ability to bear the temporary but often intense discomforts associated with the loss of a love. In almost all cases, the addict must find ways to replace what he has lost with new and healthier ways of relating and dealing with life.

The painful feelings of guilt, shame and fear resulting from the conflict of addictive behavior with the individual’s own values often create states of unbearable inner stress that make it harder for the addict to refrain from resorting for relief to the very addiction that is causing the negative feelings. Abstinence requires a decision; recovery requires time and effort.

Physical recovery is the least complex of the four, even though it is often the most immediate. Physical recovery happens primarily as the result of abstinence alone. The body has an amazing ability to repair itself, especially when combined with medical attention.

Mental recovery is more complex because it includes not only issues associated with brain function and brain chemistry but with issues of attitudes, belief systems, and rational, abstract thought.

Emotional recovery is
more complex yet. It involves not only attitudes, belief systems, and rational thought, but thought’s first cousin—feelings. Emotional recovery involves learning to deal with feelings openly, honestly, and responsibly. It includes learning to express and resolve feelings in appropriate and effective ways. For most people in recovery, emotional recovery takes years.

We are all pleasure seekers. There are pleasure centers located within the human brain, which, when activated, are associated with feelings of euphoria. This is part of the daily cycle we all experience. During the day we go through naturally occurring periods when we feel comfortable, secure, happy, and fulfilled – and this is followed by periods when more negative feelings are aroused (anxiety, insecurity, discomfort). We humans are highly reinforced by positive feelings of pleasure. We want to experience euphoria again and again. Fortunately, that’s not all there is to life.

Addictive behavior can be seen as an attempt to control our daily cycles by maximizing pleasurable feelings and decreasing the frequency of negative feelings. At first we may even succeed for a while in doing this, but our basic natures have a way of catching up with us. We probably need our down phases of the daily cycle as much as we need the more positive ones – if for no other reason than that the negative parts of the cycle help us appreciate the positive ones even more. Our negative experiences strengthen us and help us to become survivors. They assist us in learning wisdom and integrity. There are few things in nature which are not cyclical. Attempts to find constant pleasure through addictive behavior are always futile. The negative phase always revisits us and brings balance back into our lives. There is no escaping our basic nature. And there is no escaping the escalating and debilitating results of the addictive process.

Addiction is an uncontrolled search for gratification through a relationship with a substance or activity to the exclusion of other more diverse life experiences. The substance or activity with which the addict forms a relationship varies with each person.

  • Many addictions aim to increase arousal. This is the all-powerful feeling that might come from cocaine, amphetamines, the first few drinks of alcohol, shoplifting, sexual acting out or gambling. This omnipotent feeling, however, is eventually undermined when the addict realizes that a dependency has been formed. A feeling of fear replaces the feeling of being all powerful – fear of losing the source of addiction and fear that others will find out how powerless the person actually is. Negative experiences always accompany the positive feelings the addict is seeking.

  • Other addictions aim to increase satiation. This is the feeling of happiness and fulfillment that might be achieved through the use of heroin, marijuana, tranquilizers, pain medication, watching TV or overeating. The feeling of satiation serves to camouflage a person’s underlying pain. Again, however, negative feelings always show themselves. The person who strives for satiation not only re-experiences the underlying pain when the feeling of satiation wears off, but also experiences the grief accompanied by the loss of the satiation high. Satiation addicts must increase the dosage of the drug or the frequency of the addictive acting out behavior to cover up their original pain. The quest for a satiation high takes over the person’s life until, ultimately, the pain returns in the form of despair.

Note that satiation reflects our quest for pleasure while arousal exemplifies our quest for power. Pleasure ( The state or feeling of being pleased or gratified.) and Power (The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively) are two of our most primitive behaviors and are experienced by children in the earliest years of life when the range of experiences is focused largely on forming one’s sense of self. Adulthood brings us beyond these simple levels of experience into a more complex, diverse and meaningful way of relating to the world. When we move past pleasure and power, we are able to form intimate relationships with other adults, to contribute to society, to understand our responsibilities to others, and to incorporate moral convictions into our actions. Addictive behavior prevents us from achieving these more complex levels of behavior found in adulthood.

Addictive behavior usually contains the following components:

Þ Acting out Behavior: Addicts create a mood through a change in their behavior that sets the stage to go into the addictive high. These “acting out” behaviors are a preliminary part of the addictive process and serve to shift the addict’s mood. During the acting out stage, the addict feels the illusion of being powerful and in control.

Þ The Illusion of the providing of loving care and attention: Most of us seek ways to achieve the providing of loving care and attention. In times of stress, but for the addict, this is tem
porary and does not allow the person to find ways to solve problems in a realistic way. Addiction is a lifestyle in which life’s problems are avoided in favor of the search for the next high. Although the addict may understand rationally that addictive behavior will not solve the problem, they develop their own logic which rationalizes the continuation of the addiction.

Þ The Addictive Object Becomes the Person’s Primary Relationship! Addicts seek to meet their emotional and intimacy needs through achieving a high until, eventually; this becomes their most important relationship. They experience a mood change and come to believe that their emotional needs have been met. This is the tragedy of addiction because the addict shuts out other people, the community and the search for spiritual answers – the real way to deal with life’s issues in a healthy manner. Other people are used, not for true relationship, but merely as props in pursuit of the addiction.

Þ The Addict Withdraws from the World. The normal way to achieve intimacy is to reach out to other people. For the addict, where the primary relationship is with the addictive substance, the illusion of intimacy means pursuing the addictive high and excluding other people. The high gives the feeling of warmth, control, and well-being – and the feeling that the need for intimacy has been met. Unfortunately, the longer the addict engages in this process, the more lonely and isolated he or she becomes. When the pain of isolation becomes intense, the stage is set for the addict to engage in more acting out behavior. The pattern becomes entrenched, and escaping it is difficult.

Þ Addicts Trust the High More than Other People Addicts begin to trust the mood change that comes from engaging in addictive behavior. They feel isolated from other people and find that others might not always come through for them. The high, on the other hand, is consistent and always available. They trust the high more than they trust others. Unfortunately, because addicts have not engaged in the normal interactions that occur between people, they lack the experience of working through the providing of loving care and attention of relationships in order to find ways of getting their needs met through others. This entrenches them in the belief that their addiction is their only friend. It works every time, while friends are not always there.




In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Brain Reward Circuitry

Brain Reward Circuitry

The activation of brain reward systems is largely responsible for producing a drug’s potent addictive properties. Personality, social, and genetic factors may also be important, but the drug’s effects on the central nervous system (CNS) remain the primary determinants of drug addiction. Other factors are likely to be important in influencing initial drug use and in determining how rapidly an addiction develops. For some substances, factors may interact with the drug’s action to produce compulsive substance use. In these cases, “addictive behavior” may involve use of substances that are generally not considered addictive.

Addictive drugs activate brain reward systems. However, the activation is much more intense causing the individual to crave the drug and to focus their activities around taking the drug. The ability of addictive drugs to strongly activate brain reward mechanisms and their ability to chemically alter the normal functioning of these systems can produce an addiction.

An addicted brain is different physically and chemically different from the normal brain. A cascade of neurobiological changes accompanies the transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use. They alter the brains pleasure center. Activating this circuit also called the reward circuit produces a feel good sensation. Drugs OF abuse change the brain, hijack its motivational SYSTEMS AND EVEN HOW ITS GENES FUNCTION.

This pleasure circuit communicates in the chemical usage of dopamine: this is the neurotransmitter zips neuron to neuron in the circuit producing feelings from mild happiness to euphoria.

More dopamine’s means more firing of circuits of neurons in the pleasure circuit.

Chronic use produces enduring changes it produces the number of dopamine receptors. Withdrawal is a resetting of the brains dopamine system. The production of joy is decrease thus; life does not seem worth living.

Relapse occurs because the brains regions that become activated where the memories are stored. Cue induced craving turn on these memory centers that trigger addicts to respond in learned behavior.

Dopamine is one of a number of neurotransmitters found in the central nervous system. Dopamine has received special attention because of its apparent role in the regulation of mood and affect and because of its role in motivation and reward processes. . This releases small amounts of dopamine into the synaptic cleft. The levels of dopamine produced when the cells are active at this low rate may be responsible for maintaining normal affective tone and mood. Some scientists speculate that some forms of clinical depression may result from unusually low dopamine levels.

The insights about the role of our brain in the process of addiction centers on something called neurotransmitters. These are chemicals that impact on the electrical messages being transmitted in the brain from one neuron to another. It is these messages that determine our thoughts and feelings.

Dopamine

Dopamine is one of a number of neurotransmitters found in the central nervous system. Dopamine has received special attention because of its apparent role in the regulation of mood and affect and because of its role in motivation and reward processes. . This releases small amounts of dopamine into the synaptic cleft. The levels of dopamine produced when the c

ells are active at this low rate may be responsible for maintaining normal affective tone and mood. Some scientists speculate that some forms of clinical depression may result from unusually low dopamine levels.


Ø Heroin-Enhanced Dopamine Activity

Heroin increases the neuronal firing rate of dopamine cells. The increased numbers of action potentials produce an increase in dopamine release. The increased dopamine activity increases the effects mediated by postsynaptic dopamine. The heroin user experiences the enhanced dopamine activity as mood elevation and euphoria. When the pharmacological action terminates (i.e., the heroin is eliminated from the brain), the drug user is highly motivated to repeat this experience.


Ø Cocaine-Enhanced Dopamine Activity

Cocaine inhibits the reuptake of dopamine. This increases the availability of dopamine in the synapse and increases dopamine’s action on the postsynaptic neurons. The enhanced dopamine activity produces mood elevation and euphoria. Cocaine’s effect is usually quite short, prompting the user to repeatedly administer cocaine to re-experience its intense subjective effects.


Ø Combined Heroin- and Cocaine-Enhanced Dopamine Activity

Because heroin and cocaine work on different parts of the dopamine neurons, they can be combined to produce even more intense dopamine activation. (The heroin increases cell firing and dopamine release, while the cocaine keeps the released dopamine in the synaptic cleft longer thereby intensifying and prolonging its effects.) The combination of heroin and cocaine is known by users as a “speed-ball.” This combination of drugs is extremely dangerous, and users show very rapid psychological and physiological deterioration.

Although speed-ball use produces extremely intense activation of brain reward systems, it is often short-lived because this drug combination is associated with a very high fatality rate. The combination of cocaine and heroin is perhaps the most dangerous form of illicit substance use.

Addicts can no more suppress their craving for drugs than the rest of us can suppress the urgings of hunger, thirst, or libido. Indeed, research indicates that this craving actually mimics our appetites by “hijacking a normal process in the brain” and becoming a part of the addict’s fundamental biochemistry.

When ingested, cocaine, heroin, and methamphetamine, for instance, trigger neurotransmitters—“brain chemicals” like dopamine—which initiate a “complex orchestration of events” in the brain, she says. The most obvious effect of that orchestration is euphoria: the high. But at the same time the drug is activating certain genes, common to all humans, whose switches are normally flipped by such on-again/off-again pleasure-producing behaviors as eating, drinking, and sex. Those activated genes in turn produce proteins which accumulate in the brain. They Produce proteins which accumulate in the brain.

Even after an addict has detoxified—long after the body has flushed itself of any residue of the drug—these proteins persist in the brain and are fully “integrated into the biochemistry of its nerve cells.” The very structure of the brain changes, in a reconfiguration which neuroscientists believe accounts for the cravings of addicts months or even years after they’ve stopped taking drugs. In short, addicts desire the drug as much as the rest of us desire food, their brain wants the drug as much as it wants food, and—deep in its biochemistry—it may always want the drug.

They must learn—or re-learn—not only how to act but how to think appropriately and productively. They must address the recklessness or loneliness which originally led them to experiment with drugs. And always the chance occurrence of an environmental cue from the bad old days—hearing a song maybe, meeting a drug buddy—will threaten to undo months or years of sobriety.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”WHAT IS GOD’S STANDARD FOR THE MIND?
Six times the New Testament describes or implies what the Christian’s mind is to be like. In each case the passage mentions the word MIND. As you read what the New Testament says about the mind, check your mind to see if these adjectives describe you.
#1 Our first adjective is ALIVE, Re: Romans 8:6 “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”
#2 Our second adjective is PEACEFUL, The spiritual mind is set on peace of the mind. Note again that we set our minds. Peace is a fruit, not an attainment. Our work is setting the mind; God’s work is the peace.
#3 Our third adjective is SINGLE-MINDED, 2Corinthians 11:3 describes the mind. But I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. Paul is telling us that the mind of Christ is single-minded. Jesus’ entire life is a flawless example of single-mindedness. He said He had completed the work God gave Him to do (John 17:4).
From beginning to end, nothing could deflect Him from God’s purposes. Are we like that?
#4 Our fourth Adjective, is LOWLY, Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. The mind is to be lowly. Believers cannot be humble unless they are lowly; humility follows lowliness of mind. Humility speaks of a relationship to others and to God; Lowliness is a state of MIND!
#5 Our Fifth Adjective, is PURE, Paul speaks about the mind in Titus 1:15 “To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” Here purity is described as the natural state of the Christian. Impurity is reached by corruption. In our times, the “natural” spiritual state, or being filled with God’s Spirit and growing in Christ, is harder to maintain for several reasons. Tempters have always abounded, but they now have resources within our environment to take us into unprecedented realms of sin. Strength comes before, not during, temptation. Overcoming is a prior act.
#6 Our sixth Adjective, is RESPONSIVE, When Jesus appeared to the disciples on the evening of the resurrection, “He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures (Luke 24:45). The disciples did not always learn quickly, but they were teachable and they were responsive. Responsive implies a spiritual sensitivity to God. This quality, responsiveness to God is indispensable for progress in the spiritual life. We need for God’s spirit to sensitize us to Himself. One way to cultivate sensitivity is to give God a chance by dwelling in His Word. Specifically, what Jesus “opened their minds” to the Scripture. Jesus was sensitive to His Father in the utmost degree. Please pray that God will make you more sensitive to Him.





In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Causes of Addiction

Many factors influence and cause a person’s behavior patterns to become addictive. Personality characteristics, peer pressure, and psychological stress can all contribute to the early stage of abuse. These factors are less important as use continues and the person repeatedly experiences the potent effects of the drug or euphoric feeling that the addictive behavior welcomes. This chemical action, which stimulates certain brain systems, produces the addiction, while other psychological and social factors become less and less important in influencing the individual’s behavior. When the action of a drug or repetitive action dominates the individual’s behavior, the normal psychological and social control of behavior is no longer effective, the addiction is fully developed. This self-perceived “loss of control” is a common feature of addiction and reflects the biological nature of the problem.

Stress and anxiety is a major cause of addiction. When the external pressures build up some people use drugs or alcohol to shelter their stress and provide the sense of well being. The development of the addiction brings no longer relief but disharmony.
Stress management is not the same thing as stress relief. Stress management is a long-term solution to millions of short-term problems. A true stress management “program” focuses more on internal sources of stress (the ones we create for ourselves in our own heads) than it does external sources (the ones we see around us and blame for the way we feel).

Addiction is a serious social, health, and metal problem. It disrupts families, ruins careers, destroys bodies, tears apart friendships, and leads to untold human misery. Addiction is chronic, complex, progressive behavior that interferes with one’s own health, social, and economic functioning. This learned behavior taught to you by repetition and habitual actions. This self-inflicted problem centers on self and the free will of personal choices.

Addiction, at its extreme, is an overwhelming pathological involvement. The object of addiction is the addicted person’s experience of the combined physical, emotional, and environmental elements that make up the involvement for that person. Addiction is often characterized by a traumatic withdrawal reaction to the deprivation of this state or experience. Tolerance-or the increasingly high level of need for the experience-and craving are measured by how willing the person is to sacrifice other rewards or sources of well-being in life to the pursuit of the involvement. The key to addiction, seen in this light, is its persistence in the face of harmful consequences for the individual. This book embraces rather than evades the complicated and multifactor nature of addiction. Only by accepting this complexity is it possible to put together a meaningful picture of addiction, to say something useful about drug use as well as about other compulsions, and to comprehend the ways in which people hurt themselves through their own behavior as well as grow beyond self-destructive involvements.

Different Theories of How Addiction Is Caused

A theory is an idea about how things work, what causes something to happen, or an attempt to explain something in our world that we don’t fully understand.

  • Disease theory:

Healthy people experiment in response to curiosity or peer pressure and become physically addicted so that the drug abuse becomes a disease. This usually removes human responsibility. Therefore, is does not address a RATIONAL solution to the root cause of addiction.

  • Gate way theory:

Use of one drug becomes a stepping-stone to drugs that are more harmful. This can play a part in the process, but can used to blame others for an individuals addiction.

  • Social theory:
Race, age, socioeconomic status, the neighborhood where one lives, educational level, peer influences. The major environmental cause for addiction remains to be Human choice regardless of the environment.
  • Psychological theory:
Look with in the drug user to see personality traits, psychological stresses, inner conflicts, hidden fears, or

individual needs. This is a major contributor to the theory of the cause of addiction. Every individual has been predisposed with corrupted genetics from the fallen emotions that man posses. The mental coping of the fallen emotions is a leading cause of addiction. When an individual does not think rationally than his behavior with become irrational.

Psychosocial theory:

Addiction is Prone because of personality, stresses, or other influences. This theory combined with the other rational theories can contribute to addictive influences.

  • Peer cluster theory:

Addictive substances and their consumption is reinforced by the accompanied social interactions is a major theory of how an why addiction is caused. This theory combined with other reasons and methodologies of addiction can be proven to remain ration causes of the addictive process.

These different theories of how addiction is caused are diverse in their methods of diagnosis. They are diverse meaning that they have numerous multifaceted sources of study and examination. I personally believe that we must explore them individually and remember that human responsibility is the key to the discovery of the truth behind the different theories. Many times because of narrow thought, many have explained the theories of addiction to be one path and have no alternative direction or alternative theory. Many factors may contribute why or why not individuals become addicted. The real root of the problem must be addressed instead of the surface of the addiction itself. The underlying diverse causes of addiction theory

A scientific theory is one that can be tested through experimentation or study.

A model is a more detailed description of why something happens and how it happens, and is based on theory.

Moral Model

Moral theories and models are based on beliefs or judgments of what is right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable. These judgments imply that people who use drugs or alcohol are bad or sinful people. There is something morally wrong with people who use drugs or alcohol heavily. This model contributes little to our understanding of why people use drugs and alcohol heavily and offers no real help to those who have problems in their lives because of alcohol or drugs.

Biological models of addiction assume that people addicted to drugs or alcohol has a biological abnormality that causes them to become addicted. Like the moral model, there is something wrong with these people. However, what is wrong is assumed to be something physical that is beyond the control of the individual. These people are not sinful or bad, but they are sick. These models are sometimes referred to as Disease Models These models suggest that a biological abnormality causes an alcoholic’s desire for another drink to increase after taking one drink, and that long-term drinking or drug use leads to damage of brain centers responsible for willpower and judgment. According to these models, alcoholism and addiction are incurable diseases and the best that can be hoped for is to achieve remission.

It has been suggested that societies that produce higher levels of inner tension such as guilt, stress, suppressed aggression, conflict and sexual tensions have higher rates of heavy drinking and drug use. This idea suggests that the primary role of alcohol and drug use is to reduce anxiety. Another idea under this model is that societies that are permissive of and/or encourage drug or alcohol use have higher rates of problem drinking and drug use. This model also examines the influence of those who stand to make a profit, such a the makers of alcohol. Consider the many beer commercials on television, or the promotion of sporting events by tobacco manufacturers.

Psychological models view heavy alcohol and drug use as problem behaviors. An individual drinks or uses to enjoy the effects of alcohol or drugs. Under these models a user or drinker is not bad or deficient in any way. Anyone can become addicted to drugs or alcohol because of the way our bodies and minds work, and because of how alcohol and drugs affect our bodies and minds.

Social Learning Model

This is a psychological model of understanding problematic drug and alcohol use. It is based on results of scientific experimentation and study. It proposes that drug or alcohol use is learned and continues because the user gets some desired outcome from it. We also learn to drink or use in response to certain stimuli–people, places, things, events, thoughts and feelings. Under this model, users are not bad or defective people with some abnormality. Anyone can become addicted to drugs or alcohol because of the way that alcohol and drugs affect our minds and bodies.

The five General domains of addiction:

  • Social: With whom do they spend most of their time? With whom do they use drugs? Do they have relationships with those individuals that do not involve substance abuse? Do they live with someone who is a substance abuser? How has their social network changed since drug abuse began or escalated?
  • Environmental: What are the particular environmental cues for their drug abuse (e.g., money, alcohol use, particular times of the day, certain neighborhoods)? What is the level of their day-to-day exposure to these cues? Can some of these cues be easily avoided?
  • Emotional: Research has shown that feeling states commonly precede substance abuse or craving. These include both negative (depression, anxiety, boredom, anger) and positive (excitement, joy) affect states.
  • Cognitive: Particular sets of thought or cognition frequently precede drug use (I need to escape, I cannot deal with this unless I am high, with what I am going through I deserve to get high). These thoughts are often charged and have a sense of urgency.
  • Physical: Desire for relief from uncomfortable physical states such as withdrawal. While controversy surrounding the nature of physical withdrawal symptoms.
The Stroke:

Emotional disturbance

Psalm 39:10 Remove thy Stroke away from me: I am consumed by the blow of thine hand. {blow: Heb. conflict}

In the Hebrew is:

Neh’gah

Meaning: 1) stroke, plague, disease, mark, plague spot

Spiritually diseased:
1) Infection caused by personal decisions, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms.

It alters the primary function in which it disturbs the performance.
  • A disease is usually deep-seated and least prolonged
  • A disorder is often slight, partial, and temporary
  • A malady refers to the suffering endured.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Nature of Addiction: What is addiction?

The term addiction generally refers to the situation where drug procurement and administration appear to govern the individual’s behavior, and where the substance seems to dominate the individual’s motivation and where the normal constraints on behavior are largely ineffective.

The individual is normally motivated to engage in a variety of behaviors. The relative importance of these rewards can be ranked to form a motivational chain of command. Addictive substances have the unique ability to disrupt this motivational chain of command. They do this in two ways. First, they can rapidly displace other motives in the individual’s life, thrusting them to the top of the motivational ladder. Second, they can disrupt the ability of other, natural rewards to motivate behavior.

Many factors influence a person’s initial drug use. Personality characteristics, peer pressure, and psychological stress can all contribute to the early stage of drug abuse. Stress is a major cause of addiction. When the external pressures build up some people use drugs or alcohol to shelter their stress and provide the sense of well being. The development of the addiction brings no longer relief but disharmony. Effective stress management requires two basic things:

  1. Alter our lifestyles to accommodate healthy daily practice.
  2. Go inside of our own heads, confront, and change our dysfunctional thinking with doctrine: The rational expression of thought.

Chemical dependency is a serious social, health, and metal problem. It disrupts families, ruins careers, destroys bodies, tears apart friendships, and leads to untold human misery.

Addiction can be described as:

  • Chronic:

  1. Of long duration of time; continuing
  2. Lasting for a long period of time or marked by frequent recurrence
  3. Subject to a habit or pattern of behavior
  • Complex:

Consisting of interconnected or interwoven parts; with a group of related; often repressed ideas and impulses that compel characteristic or habitual patterns of thought, feelings, and behavior.

  • Progressive:

1. Moving forward; advancing.

2. Proceeding in steps; continuing steadily by increments

  • Physiologically Debilitating:

Impair the strength of; to weaken; to enfeeble which interferes the normal functioning and characteristics of a life with one’s own health, social, and economic functioning.

This learned behavior is taught to you by repetitious and habitual actions. This self-inflicted problem centers on self and the free will of personal choices.

The most common misunderstanding is that addiction refers to a state of physical dependence on a drug or behavior whereby discontinuing produces a withdrawal syndrome consisting of various somatic disturbances. Addiction is better defined as a behavioral syndrome where procurement and use seem to dominate the individual’s motivation and where the normal constraints on behavior are largely ineffective. This condition may or may not be accompanied by the development of physical dependence. This condition has also been described as a “psychological” addiction (thus distinguishing it from physical dependence termed “physical” addiction), but confusion is minimized by using the term addiction to refer to the behavioral syndrome described above and the term physical dependence to refer to the condition associated with withdrawal reactions. The distinguishing feature of the condition commonly referred to as addiction is the ability of the drug to dominate the individual’s behavior, regardless of whether physical dependence is also produced.

The activation of brain reward systems is largely responsible for producing a drug’s potent addictive properties. Personality, social, and genetic factors may also be important, but the drug’s effects on the central nervous system (CNS) remain the primary determinants of drug addiction. Other factors are likely to be important in influenc

ing initial drug use and in determining how rapidly an addiction develops. For some substances, factors may interact with the drug’s action to produce compulsive substance use. In these cases, “addictive behavior” may involve use of substances that are generally not considered addictive.

Initial use of these substances is usually accompanied by mood elevation and other affective changes that lead to their recreational use. Some drugs have actions that produce other desirable psychological effects, such as relaxation.

It basically comes down to personal choice. What determines whether a person becomes dependent is how much he consumes and for how long, rather than his personality, psychodynamics, or biochemistry. Addiction is a progressive. It engulfs its victim psychologically and physically that creates a moral condition for which he or she is responsible.

Every human being has an inner need for a real and growing relationship with God. When the craving is denied, unrecognized, and unfilled, a search for something else will fill the vacuum. Addiction is any thinking or behavior that is habitual, repetitious, and difficult or impossible to control. Addictions have one thing in common they change moods. Almost any person can be psychologically and or physically on drugs if that person is exposed to a high dosage for a long enough periods.

Our lives are a series of habits, held together in perfect sequence by our subconscious mind. Whether it is over indulgence or the task of typing on my computer keyboard, the subconscious takes me through the paces without having to think about results – or consequences. Over 90% of our daily living is an action of habit, systematically driven by our subconscious mind. Healthy habits like washing our bodies, brushing our teeth, driving a car or looking both ways before crossing the street are behaviors learned by the Subconscious mind and fed back to us without a conscious thought.

The subconscious takes me through the paces without having to think about results – or consequences. Over 90% of our daily living is an action of habit, systematically driven by our subconscious mind. Behaviors learned by the Subconscious mind and fed back to us without a conscious thought.

“Only a small percentage of the brain is under conscious control. We are responsible for this part of our thought processes. The vast majority of brain function is Subconscious.”

“Only twenty percent of our decisions come from the conscious or the reasoning mind. The rest come from deep within.”

The surface problems that hinder our progress are only a result of the root causes with in us. These root causes are our internal adversaries and barriers deeply rooted with in our unconscious and subconscious mind. These hindrances have been designed to oppose us internally because of repetition and affirmation for periods of time.

The term addiction generally refers to the situation where drug procurement and administration appear to govern the individual’s behavior, and where the substance seems to dominate the individual’s motivation. Two features that distinguish addiction from other behaviors are its extreme motivational strength and its motivational toxicity. Motivational strength refers to how hard the individual will work to obtain the substance, while motivational toxicity describes the substance’s ability to disrupt the individual’s normal motivations. This latter characteristic is particularly interesting because it may serve as a defining characteristic of addiction.

The individual is normally motivated to engage in a variety of behaviors. The relative importance of these rewards can be ranked to form a motivational chain of command. Some motives will rank high, being extremely influential in the individual’s behavior, while others will rank low, being relatively unimportant. The relative positions of motives on this chain of command will vary from individual-to-individual as do what motives are even included on the list.

Addictive substances have the ability to disrupt this motivational chain of command. They do this in two ways. First, they can rapidly displace other motives in the individual’s life, thrusting them to the top of the motivational ladder. Second, they can disrupt the ability of other, natural rewards to motivate behavior. The drug addict characteristically places substance use as their top priority, while losing interest in life’s other rewards. The intense desire to experience the effects of the addictive substance combined with the inability of natural rewards to engage behavior is subjectively experienced as a “loss of control.” This perception, in a sense, is correct: the normal controls on the individual’s life have lost their significance and behavior focuses on procurement and self-administration of the addictive substance.

No-one sets out to be an addict – to be dependent on a particular drug.

Unfortunately with many substances the process is inevitable, and it’s only recently scientists have started to understand what’s going on when a drug user becomes hooked.

Clare Stamford of University College London, who studies the biochemical process of addiction, says: “People continue to take drugs because they like what the drugs do and want to keep on taking more.

“Unfortunately, people keep taking drugs because if they don’t, they get plummeted into a withdrawal syndrome which can be uncomfortable and life threatening.”

Drugs like morphine and heroin work by entering a “reward system” in the brain.

The quicker the effect of a drug wears off, the more addictive it tends to be.

But the issue of drug addiction goes far deeper than just a biochemical process in the brain

They attach themselves to custom-built receptors into which the drug molecules fit like a key into a lock.

We live in a society that is terrified of feelings. In the addictive system that characterizes our culture, feelings are avoided through the institutionalization of shame and the use of the addictive process. Both are diversions. Both are taught and supported by external forces. Each feeds upon and reinforces the other. Alternatively, shame is used to avoid facing an addiction and then the addiction is used to avoid facing the shame. Both are used to distort, deny, or divert feared and unwanted feelings. The use of the addiction as a “fix” to avoid experiencing shame is a temporary solution; it merely results in compounding the problem by increasing the shame. And so the cycle continues.

A PROCESS addiction is an addiction to a way of living (which sometimes leads to acquiring an addictive substance). For example, the “dry drunk” is a person who exhibits the behaviors, attitudes, and thinking associated with the active alcoholism, but without using the chemical. A dry drunk is not using the infective agent, yet is acting as if she or he was. Thus not drinking alone does not constitute recovery; in order for an alcoholic to become sober and maintain sobriety, she or he has to make major changes in attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, thinking, and practice.

Thus addicts confuse the intensity of acting out, with intimacy, in feeling connected in the moment of intensity, the addict believes it is a moment of intimacy. In fact, it is a nurturance through avoidance. For the addict, different objects and events (eating, gambling, drinking, chemicals, etc.) all have in common the ability to produce a positive and pleasurable mood change, which is fundamentally rooted in emotional isolation, not in true relational connection. The process of addiction involves movement, development, and change. As an addiction develops, it becomes a way of life, a lifestyle.

This cycle causes an emotional craving, resulting in a mental preoccupation, leading to a behavioral action, which leads back to the emotional hunger. Thus for an addict the feeling of discomfort becomes a signal to act out, not a signal to connect with others, oneself, or with God. The more a person seeks relief from an inner emptiness and pain through addiction, the more shame they experience. Hence, she or he becomes shame-bound and loses self-respect, self-confidence, self-discipline, and self-love. The tragedy, and the powerlessness, of the addictive process are seen in the abuse cycle of the addict seeking refuge from the pain of addiction by moving further into the addictive process! Progressing , the delusional system will become more complex and have a quality of rigidity. The delusional system [of the addict] is commonly described as a wall surrounding the person.

Rituals have been described as a language of behavior, designed to give comfort at times of crisis or during times of conflict or stress. Addicts use rituals and addictive rites to create a mood, to ease their tension or discomfort, and so produce a sense of release. This inner struggle between control and release is a characteristic theme of a person involved in an addiction. Thus another way of describing the addictive cycle is as follows: Control Phase – Trigger – Release Phase – Shame – Control Phase etc.

Withdrawal creates a big hole or emptiness which may have precipitated the original numbing behavior. Thus, if the addictive process is rooted in compulsive acting out from feelings of emptiness, then in the recovery process the addict can learn to fill the emptiness in new ways which nurtures the Self. Addictions serve to disassociate the addict from his or her spiritual core. Frequently, the addict has learned the survival strategy in childhood of disconnecting from his or her feelings as a means of adapting to a painful emotional reality. Hence they become aware of an emptiness that cries out to be filled. Their addiction becomes the process of trying to fill the void.

Does the concept of “recovery” contradict the spiritual truth of becoming a “new creat

ion” in Christ?

  • “Recovery” is in the Bible - The term “recover” actually does appear in the Bible in 2 Timothy 2:26. The Greek word used there, “ananepho” actually means to “return to a state of soberness, as from a state of delirium or drunkenness.” (Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words, W. E. Vine, pg. 263).
  • Recovery is sanctification - Using the concept of recovery emphasizes the fact that it is a process, and not something that happens in an instant. This is just how the Bible refers to sanctification — the continuing process of growth into the image of Christ. In Romans 12:2, the Apostle Paul refers to sanctification as a process. In this passage the word translated “transformed” is in the Greek present passive indicative tense, which implies an on-going activity, rather than a one time act. Paul, then, exhorts believers to actively and consciously engage in an on-going process of separation from their old sinful way of life and to increasingly set themselves apart to God through a continual renewal of their minds.
  • Recovery is an on-going process of “yielding” - In Romans 6:19, Paul shows how the yielding of our bodies to sin results in ever increasing wickedness and uncleanness. In secular terms, this is very analogous to the charts that illustrate the passage of the addict through the increasingly destructive phases of alcoholism. Later in the same chapter, Paul explains how, through the experience of becoming born again and walking in the newness of life in Christ enables us to become “slaves of righteousness.” Therefore, he urges believers to present the members of their bodies as “servants of righteousness unto holiness.” (KJV) The Greek word used here is “hagiasmos,” translated “sanctification” in many other passages.

The issue of personal responsibility in addiction cuts across neuroscience, clinical practice, religion, culture, and legal codes.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Advice to Parents and Other Adults Who work with Generation X (Young Adults)

Advice to Parents and Other Adults

Who work with Generation X

(Generation in Crisis)

Generation X! Are you familiar with this phrase? It is highly probable that you have heard or read the phrase at least once. What does it bring to your mind? Does it provoke fear, confusion, despair, misunderstandings, or is it just another in a long line of such expressions used to label youth? Generation X has quickly entered our vocabulary as an easily recognizable moniker for the children of another definable generation: the “baby boomers.” Thus this generation of teenagers also has come to be known as the “baby busters.” “Xers” and “busters” normally don’t elicit positive thoughts about our youth. Is this a legitimate response? Or are we maligning a significant portion of our population with such terms?

Thus the concerns we have for our youth are concerns we have for ourselves. The “web of adolescence” touches all of us. As George Barna has stated, “taking the time to have a positive impact [on our youth] is more than just ‘worth the effort’; it is a vital responsibility of every adult and a contribution to the future of our own existence.”

First, they are serious about life. For example, the quality of life issues they have inherited have challenged them to give consideration to critical decisions both for the present and future. Second, they are stressed out. School, family, peer pressure, sexuality, techno-stress, finances, crime, and even political correctness contribute to their stressful lives. Third, they are self-reliant. One indicator of this concerns religious faith; the baby buster believes he alone can make sense of it. Fourth, they are skeptical, which is often a defense against disappointment. Fifth, they are highly spiritual. This doesn’t mean they are focusing on Christianity, but it does mean there is a realization that it is important to take spiritual understanding of some kind into daily life. Sixth, they are survivors. This is not apparent to adults who usually share a different worldview concerning progress and motivation. This generation is not “driven” as much as their predecessors. They are realistic, not idealistic.(14)

What About the Church and Busters?

Let’s survey a few other attributes of Generation X as we attempt to bring this group into sharper focus. These attributes should be especially important to those of us in the Christian community who desire to understand and relate to our youth.

Because of “the loneliness and alienation of splintered family attachments” this generation’s strongest desires are acceptance and belonging.(15) Our churches need to become accepting places first and expecting places second. That is, our youth need to sense that they are not first expected to conform or perform. Rather, they are to sense that the church is a place where they can first find acceptance. My years of ministry among youth have led me to the conclusion that one of the consistent shortcomings of our churches is the proverbial “generation gap” that stubbornly expects youth to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, socialize in a certain way, etc., without accepting them in Christ’s way.

Another important attribute of this generation is how they learn. “They determine truth in a different way: not rationally, but relationally.”(16) Closely aligned with this is the observation that “interaction is their primary way of learning.”(17) In order for the church to respond, it may be necessary to do a great deal of “retooling” on the way we teach.

Lastly, busters are seeking purpose and meaning in life. Of course this search culminates in a relationship with the risen Jesus. It should be obvious that ultimately this is the most important contribution the church can offer. If we fail to respond to this, the greatest need of this generation or any other, surely we should repent and seek the Lord’s guidance.

New Rules

George Barna has gleaned a set of “rules” that define and direct youth of the mid- and late-90s:

Rule #1: Personal relationships count. Institutions don’t.

Rule #2: The process is more important than the product.

Rule #3: Aggressively pursue diversity among people.

Rule #4: Enjoying people and life opportunities is more important than productivity, profitability, or achievement.

Rule #5: Change is good.

Rule #6: The development of character is more crucial than achievement.

Rule #7: You can’t always count on your family to be there for you, but it is your best hope for emotional support.

Rule #8: Each individual must assume responsibility for his or her own world.

Rule #9: Whenever necessary, gain control and use it wisely.

Rule #10: Don’t waste time searching for absolutes. There are none.

Rule #11: One person can make a difference in the world but not much.

Rule #12: Life is hard and then we die; but because it’s the only life we’ve got, we may as well endure it, enhance it, and enjoy it as best we can.

Rule #13: Spiritual truth may take many forms.

Rule #14: Express your rage.

Rule #15: Technology is our natural ally.(18)

Now let’s consider how parents and other adults might best respond to these rules.

What Do They Hear From Us?

Try to put yourself into the mind and body of a contemporary teenager for a moment. Imagine that you’ve been asked to share the kinds of things you hear most often from your parents or adult leaders. Your list may sound something like this:

· “Do as I say, not as I do.”

· “I’m the adult. I’m right.”

· “Because I said so, that’s why.”

· “You want to be what?”

· “This room’s a pig sty.”

· “Can’t you do anything right?”

· “Where did you find him?”

· “You did what?”

· “Do you mind if we talk about something else?”

· “I’m kind of busy right now. Could you come back later?”

These statements sound rather overwhelming when taken together, don’t they? And yet too many of our youth hear similar phrases too frequently. As we conclude our series pertaining to the youth of Generation X, let’s focus on how we might better communicate and minister to them. In his book Ten Mistakes Parents Make With Teenagers, Jay Kesler has shared wise advice we should take to heart and consistently apply to our lives among youth.(19)

Advice to Parents and Other Adults

Many people say there is a lot more conflict with parents when you’re a teenager. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but sometimes this is more intense because of change. Let’s face it, as we get older we change physically, emotionally and in the way we think about and see ourselves. Young people often move away from their parent’s beliefs as they are learning about the world, and parents can find this hard.

  1. Be a consistent model. We can’t just preach to them and expect them to follow our advice if we don’t live what we say. Consistency is crucial in the eyes of a buster.
  2. Admit when you are wrong. Just because you are the adult and the one with authority doesn’t mean you can use your position as a “cop out” for mistakes. Youth will understand sincere repentance and will be encouraged to respond in kind.
  3. Give honest answers to honest questions. Youth like to ask questions. We need to see this as a positive sign and respond honestly.
  4. Let teenagers develop a personal identity. Too often youth bare the brunt of their parents’ expectations. In particular, parents will sometimes make the mistake of living through their children. Encourage them in their own legitimate endeavors.
  5. Major on the majors and minor on the minors. In my experience, adults will concentrate on things like appearance to the detriment of character. Our youth need to know that we know what is truly important.
  6. Communicate approval and acceptance. As we stated earlier in this essay, this generation is under too much stress. Let’s make encouragement our goal, not discouragement.
  7. When possible, approve their friends. This one can be especially difficult for many of us. Be sure to take time to go beyond the surface and really know their friends.
  8. Give teens the right to fail. We can’t protect them all their lives. Remind them that they can learn from mistakes.
  9. Discuss the uncomfortable. If they don’t sense they can talk with you, they will seek someone else who may not share your convictions.
  10. Spend time with your teens. Do the kinds of things they like to do. Give them your concentration. They’ll never forget it.

This generation of youth, and all those to come, need parents and adults who demonstrate these qualities. When youth receive this kind of attention, our churches will benefit, our schools will benefit, our families will benefit, and our country will benefit. And, most importantly, I believe the Lord will be pleased.

Some Advice to Young Adults

Many people say there is a lot more conflict with parents when you’re a teenager. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but sometimes this is more intense because of change. Let’s face it, as we get older we change physically, emotionally and in the way we think about and see ourselves. Young people often move away from their parent’s beliefs as they are learning about the world, and parents can find this hard.

Some causes of conflict

Changes in thinking

As you get older you change and grow in many ways. One of the ways is in how you think deeper and more abstract. Questions we ask as teenagers become than as a young child. It’s a time when you start to think working out the world for yourself. Sometimes your values and beliefs can become different to your parents, leading to conflict.

Changing relationships

As you mature it becomes a more equal relationship where you all relate on the same level. This change doesn’t happen overnight. The process of moving from one type of relationship to another can be a real struggle and your parents are still responsible for you for, maybe even after you might feel you should be responsible for yourself – so lots of talking about issues is needed.

Individuals changing

We all go through developmental stages. While you’re going from being a baby, to a toddler, to a child, to teenager, to young adult – your parents are moving through their life cycle as well. They’re going from a young adult, to an adult, to middle aged. And we’re all having our individual “age related” crises along the way. Psychologists call it “developmental crises” and it’s normal for us all to go through these. You’ve probably heard of “the mid-life crisis”? Parents may be going through their mid-life crisis while young people can be going through their “identity crisis”. All at the same time – in one household.

Parents coping with changes in you

You grow and change so fast when you’re a teenager, your parents can find it hard to keep up. It’s a time when you want some independence. You want to think for yourself, to speak for yourself, to form your own values and opinions, to think about your life style and tastes, your emerging sexuality, to have some privacy, to be your own person. This is another one of those developmental crises – often the toughest to go through. It can be hard for parents to get used to these changes and the new emerging you.

Physical change

Apart from all the changes in thinking, emotions and identity, there are huge physical changes going on. Your body can change quite rapidly; it can be hard to cope with. Some people look mature and are treated like a man or woman before they really feel that way inside. Others are wondering why friends have changed before they have and when they’ll catch up. It can all be overwhelming.

Parents wanting to protect you

To your parents, your physical growth can be a powerful message that you’re about to go out into the world. They’ve probably learnt (often through making their own mistakes) that the world isn’t always a wonderful place. Your parents are probably very much aware that young people can be at risk of getting into difficult and possibly dangerous situations. It can be quite scary for parents not knowing what’s happening for you, not to mention imagining what could happen.

Your parents may feel a need to guide you and protect you from harm. It can seem like parents are interfering. What they more likely want to do is keep you safe. This mismatch of understanding can end up in hassles and arguments. It takes a bit of give and take on both sides to work it out. Parents need to realize that young people need to learn about life for themselves. This is also a learning time for parents – learning when to step back and when to step in (so be patient with them). Sometimes we learn best by our own mistakes but at other times it’s best to listen to other people’s wisdom. If it’s something that can affect your life for a long time to come, or if it will affect other people, then seriously consider asking your parents or a trusted adult for advice and information before making your decisions.

Situation changes

If there are other big changes going on in your life, this creates more stress and conflict. Some examples of other major change are: moving to a new state or a different part of the state, family breakdown, or getting a new step-family. Try and talk openly with your parents about how this is feeling for you. Also try some relaxation strategies.

Cultural change

When families move or migrate from one country to another the whole family faces massive changes. Apart from moving away from the familiar places, friends and family, there can also be huge differences in culture between two countries. Sometimes parents stick with the traditional ways, while younger members of the family begin to take on the traditions of the new country. This can mean a clash of cultures, values, ideas and ways of living life.

Referances

1. Barna, 18-21.

2. . Jan Johnson, “Getting the Gospel to the Baby Busters,” Moody Monthly (May 1995): 50.

3. Ibid.

4. Ibid, 51.

5. Barna, 108-15.

6. Jay Kesler, Ten Mistakes Parents Make With Teenagers (And How to Avoid Them) (Brentwood, Tenn.: Wolgemuth & Hyatt, 1988).

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Most of this has been gathered information was from many sources and resources. I have attempted to give credit where credit is due.

Conscious Compassion

Conscious Compassion

The engine is fact (God and His Word) and the fuel car is our faith. We should place our trust (the fuel) in God and His Word (the engine). The passenger car is feeling. It would be foolish to place our trust (fuel) in our feelings (the passenger car) … the train will not run! In the same way, we should not depend on feelings or emotions.

The bible teaches in Luke 6:31: as you would others do to you, do you even so to them:

The difference between sympathy and empathy is significant to the Christian walk.

SYMPATHY says in words: “Boy, I’d really hate to be in that man’s shoes.”

EMPATHY says; “I have imagined what it must be like in that man’s shoes, and what I’d want someone to do for me if I were in that condition, I will do now for that man.”

Empathy places itself in another person’s shoes, and from that perspective realizes both the feelings and the need, then says: “I’m responding.”

Jesus words: “Do unto others as you would they do to you,” covers every aspect of life. In Matthew 25:32-46 Jesus said: Freed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Take in the stranger, (homeless). The hungry, naked, and homeless need not only food, clothing and shelter. They need some one to help them learn a skill, get a Job and become responsible. If they are a Drug addict or alcoholic, help them find an agency the deals with deliverance from whatever pathology they have. Care for another human being as if they were your parent or sibling. Have that conscious compassion.

Empathy must also place itself in the shoes of the infirmed. They are lonely and need visits. Helpless and need a hand accomplishing things. They may need other support and help to go to agencies and fill out forms to acquire aid.

ANYONE can repent of past conduct, and begin a new life, and be trusted as if they never did any wrong.

What are we as Christians going to do that have to answer to the lord for each act and word toward the hungry, naked, homeless, sick, and prisoners. When Jesus said: when you done it unto them, you have done it unto me, ENTER INTO KINGDOM OF GOD.
We must think Jesus, who is God, was mistaken when he said: When you failed to do it unto the least of these my brethren, you did it not me. BE CAST INTO EVERLASTING FIRE!

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. If it was the love of God that led us to repentance. Do not allow your love to grow cold.

Empathy will open up and earn the right to confront an individual.

Psychologists call it empathy, the rare capacity to put ourselves into the shoes of our partner and accurately see life from his or her perspective.

Empathy combines two important capacities: to analyze and to sympathize, to use our heads and to use our hearts. Our analytical capacities involve collecting facts and observing conditions. We look at a problem, we break it down into its causes, and we propose solutions. That’s analyzing. Sympathizing is feeling for another person. It is feeling the pain of someone who is suffering or feeling the anger of a person in rage. Analyzing and sympathizing are the twin engines of empathy. One without the other is fine, but their true power is found in combination. We need to love with both our head and our heart to empathize.

While the word “empathy” is never used in the Bible, it is, in a sense, what the whole Gospel message is about. The apostle Paul encouraged empathy in Hebrews when he said: “Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering” (Hebrews 13:3). He also said, “We who are not strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1).

Sympathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person’s bad news or feelings, feeling sorry for the person suffering the bad news/feelings, and whether the sympathizer agrees with any of the person’s beliefs, opinions, or goals whereas empathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person’s bad and good news or feelings and understanding the bad or good news/feelings rather than feeling sorry for the person’s bad news/feelings or agreeing or disagreeing with the person’s beliefs, opinions, or goals.

Sympathy emphasizes sharing distressing feelings whereas empathy does not emphasize any particular type of feeling. The listener using empathy shares (experiences) whatever feelings the talker is expressing at the moment, regardless of whether the feelings are distressing (grief, for example) or pleasant (love, for example).

Sympathy may also involve agreeing with some aspects of the other person’s feelings, beliefs, etc. whereas empathy emphasizes understanding all of them with no interest in either agreeing or disagreeing.

The person using empathy tunes into the entire inner world of the other person whereas the person using sympathy typically tune

s into only those aspects with which he agrees.

The listener using empathy usually responds more comprehensively to the talker as compared with the listener using sympathy.

At this point you may be thinking: So far you have discussed sympathizing and empathizing with a person’s feelings or beliefs. What about other aspects of a person such as values or goals? I will answer this question by introducing the concept of a person’s inner psychological world, which I will divide into two parts–”the heart part” and “the head part.”

The heart part consists of feelings.

The head part consists of beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, opinions, values, memories, wishes, goals, etc. I have grouped all of the head part components under the label of “beliefs” in order to simplify my comparison.

Both sympathy and empathy involve “tuning in” to (“entering”) the other person’s inner world. After tuning in, the person using empathy temporarily becomes that person in a limited way (“identifies with”), for example, the grieving and loving son; this does not usually happen for the person using sympathy.

Empathy is closely related to the concept of sympathy. We cannot examine empathy without examining sympathy because their meanings are similar and their usage overlaps somewhat. The concept of empathy is a fairly new one, while the idea of sympathy has been around much longer. Empathy has evolved over the past century from its first usage as necessary to aesthetic experience to the idea that it is a fundamental part of human nature and necessary for psychological well-being. This essay will elaborate on how the concept of empathy evolved from the concept of sympathy to include understanding of a person or object, and how the modern usage of empathy is important in our understanding of the human condition.

In psychotherapy, the writings of such theorists as Rogers and Kelly have led to a widespread acceptance among therapists generally of a view of understanding as ‘empathy’. Rogers in particular stresses the therapeutic importance of the therapist’s understanding the patient from the patient’s perspective. In order to grasp the meaning for him of the patient’s experience, the therapist has to put himself in the patient’s shoes, to try his level best to see the world from where the patient sees it. Rather than the patient having to learn the therapist’s language and theoretical system, the therapist has to learn the patient’s. In this, he has to attend not so much to the patient’s words, as to their meaning for the patient.

Feelings, Empathy & Decision Making

What is an emotion? Emotion is usually considered to be a feeling about or reaction to certain important events or thoughts. Feelings can be either pleasant or unpleasant.

Many of us are familiar with the train diagram (in the “Four Spiritual Laws” booklet) to illustrate the principle “Do not depend on feelings.”

The engine is fact (God and His Word) and the fuel car is our faith. We should place our trust (the fuel) in God and His Word (the engine). The passenger car is feeling. It would be foolish to place our trust (fuel) in our feelings (the passenger car) … the train will not run! In the same way, we should not depend on feelings or emotions.

Moreover, feelings are undependable. The same event may generate different feelings in different people; how then should we interpret the event and the feelings that follow? Even the same feelings can mean different things to different people.

Some have misunderstood “do not depend on feelings” to mean “deny your feelings.” There is nothing wrong with feelings per se. Emotions filled the Psalms. Jesus wept (John 11:35-36). Eph. 4:26 acknowledges anger as a valid emotion; it doesn’t say, “Don’t be angry because anger is a sin.” The issue is what you do when you are angry. When an argument between my boys gets heated up, I told them, “I understand that you are angry but you cannot show your anger by hitting or name-calling.” We can be human and Christian at the same time.

I’m a Christian, I’m a man, a man with feelings,
Yet sometimes I’m afraid to own my feelings.

Then God said to me:
I’ve made man so be free to be human
be free to own your feelings
but do not deny me.

The above is an excerpt of “A Conversation with God” which I wrote in 1978.

In Matt. 26:38-39, Jesus gave us an excellent example of acknowledging His feelings when He said, “Remove this cup from Me.” This was Jesus’ honest request not to go through with the crucifixion. Jesus knew that He was facing not only the agony of crucifixion but also the trauma of taking on the sins of the world (upon His sinless self) and being separated from the Father. At the same time, Jesus did not deny the Father. He said, “Thy will be done …” (Matt. 26:42).

John R.W. Stott wrote on page 120 of The Contemporary Christian,

“I learned to my astonishment that God, whose ‘impassibility’ I thought meant that he was incapable of emotion, speaks (though in human terms) of his burning anger and vulnerable love.

I discovered too that Jesus of Nazareth, the perfect human being, was no tight-lipped, unemotional ascetic. On the contrary, I read that he turned on hypocrites with anger, looked on a rich young ruler and loved him, could both rejoice in spirit and sweat drops of blood in spiritual agony, was constantly moved with compassion, and even burst into tears twice in public.

From all this evidence it is plain that our emotions are not to be suppressed, since they have an essential place in our humanness and therefore in our Christian discipleship.”


People are sometimes not fully aware of their own emotions. To acknowledge their feelings and control their behavior?

  1. Teach them “feeling words” (e.g., happy, sad, bored, angry, hurting, frustrated).

    A good way to verbalize feelings is to say “I feel _______ (emotion) because _______ (reason).”

    An individual who is in touch with his own emotions and struggles can better take the other perspective to empathize with others (c.f. Heb. 4:15-16). Developing emphatic reactions to other people’s feelings contributes to morality in that when a person feels someone’s joys and pain, he winds up feeling good when he makes them feel good and feeling bad when he hurts them.

  2. Allow our individuals to express their feelings in acceptable ways.

    When a person is frustrated, it is natural to cry. To command him to stop crying is to deny his humanity. We can acknowledge the individuals feelings by saying, “I understand that you are _______ (emotion) because _______ (reason).” Depending on the nature of the problem, you may want to be supportive and encouraging or be firm to get the individual to change his behavior.

  3. How do I know another is emotionally mature? There are no firm standards of emotional maturity such as there are for physical development. “Balance” is a key word. If your child is able to take control of his feelings then he is doing fine. Emotional maturity comes with the passage of time and is based on experience in handling setbacks in life.
  4. Suggest what to do about the situation that has upset them.

    Individuals can be motivated by reason, also subject to passions, desires and other emotions that can motivate them strongly and sometimes in the opposite direction.

    In decision making, we must be able to distinguish between what is really good for us and what seems good for us. Making this distinction is a matter of clear, rational and biblical thinking that is able to weigh the alternatives. It is at this point that emotions may dominate and rational thoughts go out the window! Therefore, it is important to establish principles beforehand as to what to do when caught in that situation.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

The Christian Therapist

The Christian Therapist and

Learned Helplessness

The apostle Paul wrote the believers in Thessalonica to “warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). The term-translated therapy indicates service rendered to people in times of turmoil. In its historic context, therapy (or counseling) is the attentive, careful helping of others.

The history of the word “therapy,” the Greek therapeia, with its derivatives therapon, therapeuo, and therapontos, gives birth to some illuminating meanings for the current practice of Christian counseling. Therapeia means, “Service.” The therapon is the servant who renders careful, experienced, watchful, meticulous, skilled, obedient, painstaking service to the one to whom he is intimately responsible.”

Notably the closest Greek synonym for therapon is diakonos, which also means “servant.” We can glean from the resemblance of the therapist and minister. In fact, in the ancient world, therapeia was commonly translated into Latin as ministerium. Among the Greek words signifying “servant” (therapon, diakonos, oiketes, pais, doulos), the most intimate of these is therapon, which always refers to personal, considerate, and confidential act of service.

The word “psychotherapy” may sound like a purely modern term, but its roots are ancient. The New Testament example of the therapon is Jesus Christ, the message and means of God’s intimate, healing, restoring service to all people (Matt. 9:1-8; Mark 1:32-34; Luke 4:18; et al). God Himself is the therapon, according to the kerygma, which means “proclamation.” The therapeia which He renders is the reflection of God’s redemptive love, portrayed in the banishment of demonic powers, and was made clear in the occurrences of the last days of Jesus’ earthly ministry.

The issue of the lawfulness of rendering therapeia on the Sabbath became a volatile point in the ministry of Jesus (Matt. 12:1-14; Mark 3:1-6; Luke 6:1-11; et al). The religious culture of the time of Jesus’ ministry did not want to see any therapeia on the Sabbath, but instead, they held to their own rigid interpretation of the Law regardless of the damaging consequences to those they were responsible to serve. Jesus, however, offered therapeia on the Sabbath as a sign of the emerging reign of God, thus intruding on the holy day with His ministry to sick bodies and tormented souls.

Many passages of Scripture depict Jesus’ interwoven ministry of teaching, preaching and healing. His life and ministry validated Isaiah’s prophecies of the Messiah as the Servant who comforted the anxious, encouraged the depressed, reconciled the hostile, and healed the lame and blind. The three-fold ministry of teaching, preaching, and healing, remains a concise summary of the purpose and mission of the church.

The authority of Scripture and the role of psychology are important to anyone interested in Christian counseling. Some people use the term integration to refer to the relationship of the Scriptures and psychology, but this term can be misleading. The Bible and psychology are not two equals blended together. The Word of God is the ultimate authority by which all theories and practices are measured.

Psychology is man’s attempt to analyze the human condition and provide assistance. Most psychological theories contain some valid observations of human behavior, but they are usually based upon erroneous presuppositions about both man and God. Secular theories and practices, however, cannot provide the ultimate source of healing power: The love and strength of Jesus Christ. He is our Creator and Savior. He is the one who can touch our deepest needs and bring light and life. God reveals the nature of man as well as His own nature.

The Christian counselor’s goal, however, extends farther to include helping with the love God with all our heart and to live by biblical values. In accomplishing this goal, the Christian counselor may present the gospel to someone who is not a believer or is unsure of his faith. He encourages the person to confess his sin and experience forgiveness, and also, to extend forgiveness to others. He helps the person understand proper behaviors and to take substantive steps to act appropriately and responsibly.

The Christian, of course, has uplifting values to motivate and guide, as Paul wrote, “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

As a servant of Jesus Christ, called to love and to strengthen others out of a full heart, the Christian counselor has limitless resources as he or she experiences the wisdom of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The counselor, just like the client, is in the process of growing in the knowledge of God and is being watered, pruned, and shaped by the Spirit’s work. This process makes the counselor increasingly effective and competent to counsel.

After, Careful study, selection, and orderly combination of compatible concepts from a variety of sources, based on the principle that “all truth is God’s truth.” People seem to yearn for a clear, simple answer to life’s complexities. Many p

eople view psychological problems through a simplistic lens and desire one definable set of problems and solutions.

The GRACE Model – The psalmist proclaims that man is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14-15). We are made in the image of God, but we are deeply fallen. Our complexity includes physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, and social aspects of our being. Virtually every problem we have is multifaceted; its solution is then multi-modal.

For instance, an addict has chosen coping mechanisms outside the will of God to block pain and to gain a sense of value or control. There are usually factors outside his control, and therefore, outside his responsibility, such as childhood trauma, poor parental modeling, cultural reinforcement, and biochemical deficiencies. The biochemical dependencies may require detoxification. Effects of depression may require medication to enable the person to think clearly and make wise choices. New communication skills need to be learned, and new courage needs to be acquired in order to follow through with the communication and the skills. Repentance is right and appropriate in particular points of responsibility, but we do not repent of the wounds received from others or of biological factors outside our control.

Though the symptoms and the contributing causes of a person’s problems are multifaceted, the root cause of all human problems is our fallenness, manifested in apathy toward God, rebellion, and a desire to keep control of our own lives whatever the cost. All of our relational, behavioral, and emotional difficulties spring from this underlying condition. Physiological and psychological analysis certainly has validity to enable us to understand the dynamics and destructive powers in our lives, and also, to help us gain insight into channeling our motives and energies into constructive attitudes and behaviors. At the deepest level, however, the sin problem exists and must be addressed so that people can be rightly related to the God who created them and loves them, and so they can draw on His strength and wisdom to live more healthy lives.

Some have questioned the validity of Christians’ use of medications for emotional problems. Gary Collins writes:

Among Christians, resistance to psychotherapeutic medication probably comes from those who believe that drug use is a sign of spiritual weakness. Many feel that Christians shouldn’t have overwhelming struggles and psychological problems. When stresses arise, these people feel that prayer, trusting the Lord and meditation on Scripture are the only Christian ways to cope with anxiety. If the Lord has allowed us to discover new chemical tools to counteract the biological bases of human problems and to help us cope temporarily with the stresses of life, are these necessarily wrong? When drugs distract us from facing problems or prevent us from seeking biblically based solutions to our struggles, and then using them is not right. But psychotherapeutic medications can help us relax so that we can think more clearly. Their use is neither wrong nor an indication that we lack faith.” (Collins, 1988)

The complexities of the human experience demand that counselors carefully take a complete history on each person. Past and current emotional traumas, environmental and family difficulties, physical problems, behavioral manifestations need to be considered in order to make an accurate assessment. The goal is that the person will feel better, but also take steps toward knowing, loving, and following Christ.

For Christians, recovery is inherently a part of the process of sanctification, including foundational spiritual issues of our identity, repentance, and our motivations. Bible-based teaching, prayer, meditation and other Christian disciplines must be used knowledgeably.

Learned Helplessness

Some Depressed people became that way because they learned to be helpless. Depressed people learned that whatever they did is fruitless. During the course of their lives, depressed people apparently learned that they have no control.

The marketing experts at Hallmark say that 15 million Americans now attend weekly support groups for chemical addictions and other problems. (Some “experts,” as we shall see, place the figure much, much higher.) Another 100 million relatives are cheering on their addicted loved ones. This means that half of all Americans are either “in recovery” or helping someone who is.

“Only a small percentage of the brain is under conscious control. We are responsible for this part of our thought processes. The vast majority of brain function is Subconscious.” Moreover, they point out, only “twenty percent of our decisions come from the conscious, reasoning mind. The rest come from deep within.”

Along these same lines, an article on recovery in the New York Times cited the Psychiatric News, which said: “Addiction medicine is at risk of becoming the laughingstock of the medical community by forcing everything into a Procrustean model of addiction.” Procrustes was a giant in Greek mythology that seized travelers and made them all fit in a bed, either by stretching them or cutting off their legs.

Another example of mislabeling is the practice of calling behavioral problems “diseases.” Now, of course, there are some mental disorders that can affect behavior—schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s disease, and some forms of depression—t

hat are associated with physical diseases. But does this mean that behavior can be diseased? It is critical to recognize that there is an element of volition in behavior that is not present in real, biological diseases.

Stanton Peele, in his book Diseasing of America: Addiction Treatment Out of Control, says that “disease definitions undermine the individual’s obligation to control behavior and to answer for misconduct. They legitimatize, reinforce, and excuse the behaviors in question—convincing people, contrary to all evidence, that their behavior is not their own.”

Critics thus emphasize that a “disease” is something one has; “behavior” has to do with what one does. Addressing this issue, anthropologist Melvin Konner said: “We would all like to point at an illness—a psychiatric label—and say of our weak or bad actions, ‘That thing, the illness, did it, not me. It.’ But at some point we must draw ourselves up to our full height, and say in a clear voice what we have done and why it was wrong. And we must use the word ‘I’ not ‘it’ or ‘illness.’ I did it. I. I.”

Self-Esteem

Is the reestablishing of self-esteem the key to “recovery?” While I believe there is a biblical basis for the Christian’s sense of worth that is based on being created in the image of God and being the object of God’s love (as evidenced by Christ’s substitutionary death on the cross), I believe the answer to this question must be no. First, scientific studies have shown no cause-and-effect link between self-esteem and behavioral problems. Moreover, when self-esteem is given priority it can easily conflict with the development of traits which the Bible accords much greater priority: self-denial and genuine humility (Mark 8:34-35; Rom. 12:3; Eph. 3:8; Phil. 2:3; 1 Tim. 1:15; 2 Tim. 3:1-5).

Related to this, based on reading a representative sampling of Christian recovery books, I don’t think the doctrine of total depravity has received sufficient recognition in the recovery movement. Yes, Christian recovery leaders clearly acknowledge that people are infected by sin. However, more often than not the bad in our lives is presented as being more the result of unjust social conditions or growing up in a bad environment. As one critic put it, “in place of the idea of original sin, recovery experts put forward their own first cause of all our ills—the American [dysfunctional] family.”

We must emphasize that regardless of the attainment of self-esteem, people will continue to behave badly and suffer the consequences for their actions because they have a nature that is bent on evil. Feeling good about ourselves will not remove or alter this depravity. Hence, seeking self-esteem as a solution to inappropriate behavior seems misguided.

A past-present connection can not be denied regarding how people behave. But I do question whether such an in-depth examination of one’s past history and “resolving” childhood conflicts is a precondition to correct or appropriate behavior. I can’t go along with the idea that “we are bound (or condemned, some would say) to repeat the family experience we remember” (emphasis in original), and that “unresolved issues in childhood doom the emerging adult to recreate, to repeat, the past.” Besides, experts tell us that peoples’ memories can and often do distort the facts to one degree or another. Hence, a detailed investigation into the events of one’s past may not yield an accurate picture of what actually happened in that distant time anyway.

The apostle Paul had a legalistic upbringing, and was guilty of severely persecuting the church prior to his conversion. But instead of focusing on the past, he declared, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14).

In His Grace Forever,
Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline and
Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Crisis Intervention in Family and Marriage Counseling

Family and Marriage Counseling

Crisis Intervention in Family

and Marriage counseling

The concept of “family” is vague and uncertain. While some still hold to the scriptural definition, or at least something akin to it, others have very different ideas. In the extreme cases, folks believe it is all right to physically abuse or even to kill their own flesh and blood. Of course, the vast majority of us can see immediately that this is wrong. However, there are innumerable other ideas which are socially acceptable, yet fall far short of the scriptural pattern. The acceptance of these ideas has had disastrous results.

For example, many households contain only one parent. While in some cases this occurs through no fault of the remaining parent – for instance, when the spouse has died – in other cases, it is the result of the parents’ own decisions. This situation is not good for the children. Consider the following excerpt from a recent column in the Providence Journal:

“Nearly 75 percent of children without fathers spend part of their childhood in poverty. They are more than twice as likely as children from two-parent families to be held back in school and more than four times as likely to be expelled or suspended. They are likelier to die in infancy. Likelier to need treatment for psychiatric problems. Likelier to be injured in an accident, to score poorly on I.Q. tests, to abuse drugs, to become criminals, to commit suicide.”

“Above all, children born and raised out of wedlock are far more likely to get pregnant as teenagers and have children out of wedlock themselves – and thus to begin the cycle anew.”

These factors have an obvious and immediate financial consequence for society: paying for the drug rehabilitation, psychiatric treatment, larger police forces, court time, jail space, and of course the next generation of unwed mothers and their children. More devastating than the financial consequences, however, are the moral consequences.

The people living this lifestyle lose their sense of personal responsibility, dignity, and self-worth. (We are discussing here situations wherein children are intentionally or recklessly conceived out of wedlock.) They develop the attitude that the government ought to provide them their basic needs. On the other hand, those who work to support themselves, and thereby provide for the poor through paying taxes, begin to resent those who receive the help. Thus, we have different segments of society hating and resenting each other. Moreover, those who work begin to feel that the government owes them something, as well. They begin to look for more and more services and handouts from the government, driven by the selfish attitude that they ought to get some “return” on their “investment”. The result is a nation degraded by citizens who complain that they are not being given what they “deserve”. Rather than going out, working, saving, and sacrificing to earn what we want to have, as our parents and grandparents did, modern Americans wait for a handout or a big win at the lottery. Even as we live the most luxurious lives known to man, we wallow in self-pity because we do not have everything we want. This is not how God wants us to live; He loves us, and wants much better for us.

The single-parent arrangement is not the only one that leads to trouble: not by a long shot. Another example is the household wherein both parents are career professionals. Rather than being content to live a simple lifestyle, both parents are working full-time jobs outside of the home in order to gain more and more material wealth, or at least to maintain a more luxurious lifestyle than they otherwise could. So, rather than seeing a father who sacrifices to provide for his family, or a mother who sacrifices to nurture her children, the children instead see two parents who are in continual pursuit of material comfort and worldly pleasure. Is it any wonder if such children grow to be selfish and materialistic? Again, rather than coming home to a mother who teaches and guides him, the teenager comes home to the television, which shows him all manner of fornication and violence – in the most glamorous light. Alternatively, since there is no one home to know where he is, he just stays out and involves himself in violence and fornication – and intoxicants.

These are by no me

ans the only problems, which modern American families make for themselves. The list goes will continue in America without strong Biblical standards. However, this book is not intended to change society, but to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. The above examples are offered as illustrations, to show what happens when we do not follow God’s pattern for the family. As with all of God’s instructions, He designed the family with our best interests at heart. When we follow His ways, we not only have heaven to look forward to, we also live better lives here. This rationally seen when we consider the impact the modern American version of “family” has had upon our children.

Crisis Intervention in Family and Marriage Counseling

Five Approaches to Family and Marriage Conflict:

1. Avoidance: The most commonly used style in conflict management, reflects the belief that it is impossible to both accomplish our personal goals and maintain relationships while in conflict. The basic strategy of avoidance is to withdraw, avoid, suppress, and deny the existence of conflict. The person using this style is unassertive, neither pursuing his or her own interests in the situation, nor supporting others in achieving theirs. Avoided conflict will typically resurface at some point, most likely with more intensity and greater potential for destruction that when first identified.

2. Accommodation: The accommodating response to conflict is characterized by a high concern for preserving relationship, even if it means conceding one’s own goals. Relationship is preserved with out conflict. The accommodator may feel guilty if he or she causes conflict. Other reasons for choosing this approach include a high need for acceptance by others, and the belief that accommodation will allow those needs to be met. The person who uses the approach of accommodation accepts the burden of responsibility for maintaining the relationship. Accommodation can be effective and ineffective in approaching conflict.

3. Competition: The competitive, win-lose style of conflict management is characterized by very high concern for the achievement of personal goals, even at the risk of damaging or destroying relationships. The person who uses this style may not desire harm to come to others, but he or she is willing to sacrifice almost anything to achieve personal objectives. People who employ this type of style do not always go head to head with opposition. Some times they work subversively. At other times they us the power of words to humiliate and weaken their opponents, until they finally bring them under control. As with avoidance and accommodation, the challenge is not to decide whether competition is good or bad but rather when to wisely choose to use it.

4. Compromise: The person with a compromising style of conflict management proposes the middle ground to others. It reflects some willingness to compete for particular resolution but also some accommodation of the relationship between the parties. This approach is based on the premise that no one can be fully satisfied, so all those involved must submit some of their personal desires to serve the good of both parties. The sense of compromise can have a negative connotation. Compromise can lead to half-hearted commitments and reoccurring conflicts under the guise of new issues. Compromise like avoidance, accommodation and competition, can be appropriately and inappropriately utilized.

5. Collaboration: The collaborative style combines a high concern for both people and objectives. Moving beyond the adversarial positions of conflict. Understanding the true needs of the parties and use a creative process to find a mutually –satisfying solution. Collaboration is not always possible or even desired. Collaboration holds great potential for those in conflict. The effects of the collaborative style are positive when it is consistently applied. Increased trust, stronger relationships, enthusiastic implementing of goals and higher resolution of conflicts are often achieved

Conflict:

  • A state of disharmony between incompatible persons, ideas, or interests; that clash.
  • A striking or dashing together.

Intervention:

  • Any interference that may affect the interests of others; especially, with the affairs of another; mediation.

In mediation of crisis or conflict we often encounter danger and opportunity. Instinctively we avoid places where disagreement is common or potential for conflict is high, because we sense danger in those places.

The Latin word for conflict “confligere” means to strike together. This gives us a mental picture of physical conflict escalating to the point where one person angrily strikes at another. The situation presents danger to the people involved in the conflict and those around them.

Conflict has been described as a situation in which the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible. Conflict also exists when two people try to occupy the same place a t the same time. They violate personal boundaries.

Wherever there is conflict, there is the possibility that how it is handled (or not handled) will result in those involved.

In Marriage and Family Conflict the crisis are most apparent in our differences over facts, methods, values, and goals.

  • Conflict over facts: What we believe to be facts.
  • Conflict over the methods: Not only do we differ what should be done, but we experience great disagreement over how it should be carried out.
  • Conflict over values: just as a conflict can arise and result from a clash of incompatibility of different perspectives on facts, and methods, it also can result over different values. Values are those ideas, habits, customs, and beliefs that are characteristic of social communities.
  • Conflict over goals: conflict is a clash of perspectives as people express different goals.

There is a clash of different perspectives on facts, methods, values, and goals.

Also the conflict will reveal and reflect different attitudes and emotions:

· It is interpersonal: Closely connected with who we are as people.

· It is intrapersonal: Closely related with how we interact with each other.

· Conflict is capable of bringing to the surface unconstructive emotions that are irrational.

· Conflict presents an opportunity to change, to struggle, to grow to reflect God’s power of reconciliation in relationships.

Anybody that is conflict free is not experiencing growth… the important changes in us takes place with in the framework of struggle.

Acts 15:36-40

36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. 39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Can you imagine the tension as Paul told John Mark tha

t he was not invited on the journey?

Can you sense the tension the next time the two men we together?

Were the two of them able to resolve the conflict by themselves? Or were others involved in mediating it?

Can you sense the celebration that was there as they sat together toward the end of Paul’s life?

They grew through conflict. They saw the opportunity for growth and took it.

We need to imagine grace of God’s presence than will produce harmony, even at the point of greatest conflict.

1TIMOTHY 2:5-6

5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;

6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

Strong’s # 3316 is Mesites • from 3319; TDNT – 4:598,585; n m • AV – mediator 6; 6 • 1) one who intervenes between two, either in order to make or restore peace and friendship, or form a compact, or for ratifying a covenant

The simplest translation of the word mediator is “in the middle.”

Seven stages of the Family and Marriage mediation process:

1) Prepare for mediation

2) Begin the mediation

3) Communicate about the dispute

4) Define the issues and set the agenda

5) Clarify information and uncover hidden interests

6) Generate and assess options for settlement

7) Bring closure and settlement

1) Prepare for mediation –

- Prayer an important resource that is often overlooked.

- You are investing in the resolution not the conflict.

2) Begin the mediation –

- Set up and establish some basic ground rules

- The beginning of the mediation process is when the individuals are the most rational, to establish rules they will use when the conflict is more acute.

3) Communicate about the dispute –

- Communication in conflict resolution operates in two ways, speaking and listening.

- It is important that the both parties hear each other. – To listen carefully.

- We as the mediator must assure them that they will get an equal opportunity to talk.

- We also a mediator must remind them when they say things that are not productive and may be more harmful.

- This is where be become the manager of communication between their communication.

4) Define the issues and set the agenda –

- a) Clarify the issues

- b) Reframe them in more objective terms

- c) Set the agenda for problem – solving work.

- These steps diminish uncertainty and provide direction.

- Taking the issues in the order they are identified, or ranking the issues in order of importance to the both.

5) Clarify information and uncover hidden interests –

- While the issues are easily identified in most conflicts, the interests may be hidden.

- Addressing underlying needs is essential in resolving conflicts.

- What else is going on?

6) Generate and assess options for settlement –

- The people in the conflict create options that will meet their interests.

- These options must be assessed to see if they are practical and possible.

- These options must not only create a solution, they must include thoughts on how the solution would be put in place.

- Tunnel vision – they have invested so much time in their time, resources, and emotions in their position, it is difficult to leave it and move on to the resolution.

- Our role is to expand their vision – open up the tunnel – so that the alternative solutions are clear and easily accepted.

7) Bring closure and settlement –

- Constructive dialogue has identified issues and interests, creative solutions have been proposed, and now it is time for the individuals to decide whether the will accept a proposed solution, or continue the conflict.

- Acceptance or rejection.

I believe that this process of mediation is a very complex and must be treated with the utmost care and consideration for all parties in crisis, dispute or we as counselors can cause more damage than when we have intended to bring healing. Therefore, this process of medication is not just a formula and must be looked at as adaptable for every diverse crisis in the realm of Family and Marriage counseling. I have enjoyed to see the precious Holy Spirit guide and direct the diverse times of turmoil and provide a way of escape for numerous families devastated by conflict and crisis. We must not be the way an individual is touched because if we are then eventually the individual will again return to conflict. Me must allow the Holy Spirit to be the counselor and let him do the work in peoples lives. We are mere tools in the hands of a loving God that wants to minister harmony to those hurt in the turmoil of conflict and pain.

In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP

Young Adult Crisis Hotline

and Biblical Counseling Center

410-808-6483

theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/

http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/

youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Pride and Shame: Strongholds of the Self-Centered Soul

Pride and Shame:
Strongholds of the Self-Centered Soul


Strongholds of pride and shame can keep us wandering aimlessly through a desert of unrest leading to confusion, anxiety, depression and despair.


Pride is a little god-maker. It is the most effective attribute of character available to us for the fashioning of little gods. Pride is not patient, it is not kind. It does envy, it does boast; for it is – pride. It is rude, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, and it keeps records of all wrongs. Pride rejoices in evil and avoids the truth. It protects for selfish reasons, it cannot afford to trust, it is its own hope, and it perseveres only for personal gain. (Compare to love in 1 Cor. 13:4-7) Man’s first sin was pridefully self-centered. Man’s first reaction to his sin was shame. Shame is also self-centered. Just like pride, its central focus is self.

Pride led religious leaders to want to kill Jesus (Mark 11:18). In order to flourish, pride must conquer what it perceives as competition. And yet, it was also pride that caused men to want to raise Him up as King of Israel (John 6:15)! But Jesus resisted them. Jesus knew the method by which He must be lifted up in the eyes of men (Jesus predicts His death in John 3:14-15). Scripture tells us that Jesus “would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men” (John 2:24).

Pride caused the Israelites to reject God’s institution of judges in favor of a king to represent them as a nation. God told Samuel, “…it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you” (1 Samuel 8:7-8). Pride promotes self. Shame demotes self. But, both are increases to self-centeredness. To demote self is not to decrease self. It is simply a different, though negative, view of self. Pride encourages a persistent focus on self-gratification. Then, as self becomes gratified, pride is ratified. Thus, pride becomes the cause and the protector of selfishness.

Pride encourages self to believe that personal performance can overcome unpleasant negative feelings of shame. Shame insinuates to self, “Sure, Jesus died on the cross for you, but don’t you still feel shame?” Then pride exhorts self, “Therefore, you must rely on what you have done, or what you are now doing, or what you are able to do to feel acceptable to yourself.”

Where there is much pridefulness, there is powerful judgment:

“On the appointed day Herod, wearing his royal robes, sat on his throne and delivered a public address to the people. They shouted, ‘This is the voice of a god, not of a man.’ Immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down, and he was eaten by worms and died.” (Acts 12:21-23)

But, where there is little pridefulness, there is powerful grace:


All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. (Acts 4:32-33)
Shame often legitimizes its self-centered focus by promoting self’s victim status. Unrepentant pride and shame are circular allies. When shame is tired of its suffering, it often turns to pride for relief. When pride’s shallowness is exposed, it often turns to shame for absolution. Thus, they perpetuate one another allowing self to avoid true repentance. Shame is a great impetus for both action and inaction. Shame can bully a person to works requiring tremendous effort or intimidate a soul to virtual impotence.

Shame resides in the relative safety of loneliness. By avoiding honest intimate relationship, shame shields self from the possibility of further rejection. But, by avoiding intimate relationship, it also shields self from love. Shame and pride are like a dog and a cat. They both determinedly desire to be stroked. Pride and shame are fraternal twins. Though they do not look alike, they were born one right after the other. Pride was the firstborn, and then came its inevitable brother, shame. Shame is sometimes the primary method of establishing and managing religion. When this happens, pride is the governing body of that religion. In the end, shame will be the great equalizer for those that are unrepentantly prideful. Self is the captain of the ship christened Pride and Shame. “Sink or swim” is its motto. Through stormy seas, it endlessly sails. It has no homeport, where it may rest from the winds of selfish determination.

Shame is a thief, stealing the treasure of life from self. Pride selfishly buries the treasure where only he can find it. The rich may have pride and the poor may have shame, but each is merely vanity. They are both mirrors used to unrelentingly gaze upon self.

An attitude of worldly shame denies the efficacy of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross and is in direct conflict with the proclamation of scripture:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1,2).

Pride looks for who’s watching. Shame watches for who’s looking. Both are in bonda
ge to the opinions of others. Pride and shame are like merry-go-round horses; one goes up and the other goes down, but they both keep going round and round. Shame may be deep and pride may be shallow, but both are only holes in the souls of men. Pride and shame are the bodyguards of unrepentant self. They will do whatever is necessary to protect self from healthy change.

Shame is like a tree with many roots underground, but very little trunk and few branches above the surface. Pride is like a great tree with long branches reaching upward from a portly trunk, but very little root structure. The wind comes and blows mightily against the shame tree. Some dead branches are blown off, but the roots remain firmly entrenched. Then the strong wind comes and blows against the pride tree. The whole tree comes crashing down, with its shallow roots exposed for the entire world to see. Which tree is more resistant to the Spirit of God? The one that displays itself boldly to the world or the one that hides itself safely beneath the surface?

Shame for our sins was a choice Jesus once made. Jesus chose to bear our shame by dying on the cross. Pride is a whip in the hands of the arrogant. Shame is a shovel in the hands of a fool. The shameful fool digs an emotional hole, too deep to climb out, and then jumps in. The arrogant, prideful one lashes the fool for jumping into the hole. The shameful fool accepts the lashing as appropriate and deserved. The arrogant, prideful one leans back and smiles in satisfaction.

It is easy to see that having much pride is shameful. But what is often hidden from our sight is that having much shame can be prideful. The person with much shame often believes that harboring a sufficiently large quantity of shame is a necessary self-punishment before God (and others) and a means by which he might earn some degree of personal acceptance. In this way, his shame has become a self-determining, self-dependent, work of atonement, denying the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for his sins. This is pride.

Shame denies light to the dark places within the soul. The soul cannot grow without the light. Shame denies air to the empty places within the soul. The soul can not breathe without the air. Shame denies water to the dry places within the soul. The soul can not live without the water. Shame denies while the soul dies.

Pride is a source of false hope. But Shame is a source of false hopelessness. Shame is like a flower that grows up out of the ground and then refuses to bloom in the sunlight. But place it in the shade and it will open.

Worldly shame is an active rejection of God’s forgiveness based on feelings of personal unworthiness. If you have rejected God’s forgiveness, whose worthiness have you really rejected, yours or Christ’s?

It is not easy to stop being prideful and it is not easy to stop being ashamed. The way to stop being prideful is not by being ashamed, and the way to stop being ashamed is not by being prideful. Both are overcome by humility. And humility is perfected by the power of the Holy Spirit.

It is sin to believe pride and shame’s definitions of self. It is humility to believe God’s definition of self. If you truly wish to stop believing the lies; God will set you free, unto humility. You must choose to go there, but only God can bring you.



In His Grace Forever,

Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483

STRONGHOLDS

STRONGHOLDS

The word “strongholds” (Gr. ochuroma) occurs only once in the New Testament. According to Arndt-Gingrich, it was used in New Testament times to denote “fortress” or “prison” (606). Having learned this, it is not surprising that some have concluded “strongholds” to mean “a gathering place” for demons. By studying the context we will see right away that this is not the sense in which Paul used it here.

WHAT PAUL INTENDED

Can we know what Paul meant by “strongholds”? Not only can we know, it is imperative that we know if we are going to use the term in our personal spiritual warfare and in our ministries. False doctrine is usually the result of flawed hermeneutics. Scripture is its own best interpreter. We are commanded to study to show ourselves “approved of God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). After ascertaining the plain meaning of any portion to the best of our ability, we then carefully and prayerfully study the context to gather further information, looking to the Holy Spirit for illumination.

The “strongholds” of 2 Corinthians 10:4 cannot refer to evil spirits, as study of the context will show clearly. In fact, the entire epistle does not have a single reference to evil spirits. It is basically a letter to bring the Church at Corinth back to their former allegiance to the ministry of the one who brought them the Gospel at first. Chapters 1-7 contain loving admonitions for the Church, along with the beginning of Paul’s defense of his ministry, which was being maligned. Chapters 8-9 encourage generous giving to spread the Gospel. Chapters 10-13 comprise Paul’s forceful defense of his apostleship and ministry against the vituperative attacks of “false apostles” (11:13) who were spreading vicious lies about him (10:2,10; 11:6-7,15; 12:11-12). In their attempts to alienate the Corinthians from Paul, his enemies were accusing him: of having weak bodily presence (10:10), of poor speaking skill (11:6), of being inferior (11:16), of not really being an apostle (12:11-12), and of using fleshly methods for self-aggrandizement (10:3). With all that in mind, we can understand Paul’s appeal in chapter 10, including his usage of the term “strongholds.”

First, he pleads with the Corinthians to retain their confidence in him (10:1-3). He makes a play on words, using sarx in two ways. He writes: “Though we walk in the flesh (sarx-we are still in a physical body), we do not war according to the flesh (sarx-in a carnal, worldly way). His enemies were accusing Paul of something he avoided assiduously.

Second, in verses 4-6, he tells the Corinthians how he will win in the “war” against Truth: (1) He will not use carnal (sarkikos) weapons, but he will use weapons that are “mighty through God for pulling down strongholds.” (2) He defines the “strongholds”; they are “arguments (logizmous, imaginations)” against his ministry (5a), the “high thing” (hypsoma, the prideful arrogance of his enemies) that exalts itself against the knowledge of God (5b); and the thoughts (noema) that are not obedient to Christ (5c). Hypsoma, “high thing” can be used to refer to a spirit in Greek mythology, but in context here it refers to that which exalts itself above the Truth of the Gospel as preached by Paul. As Craig Keener has written:

Greek sages sometimes described their battle against false ideas as a war, in terms similar to those Paul uses here. Like those sages, Paul claims to be doing battle with false ideas. “Arguments” (NIV, NRSV, TEV) or “speculations” (NASB) is a technical term for “rhetorical or philosophical” reasonings; the prisoners of war in this extended metaphor are human thoughts. Cf. Proverbs 21:22 (508).

When people believe lies, they are allowing a prison of deceit to be established in their minds. Believing a lie is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. Our eternal destiny depends on our believing Truth. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word (Romans 10: 17); without Biblical faith we cannot be saved. In further emphasizing that the mind is the battlefield under attack, Paul expresses his deep concern:

I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2-3).

H. D. Spence describes the strongholds as “the evil fortifications of the mind, corrupt thinking, prejudices, worldly maxims, evil thinkings. The work of the true soldier is to bring this frontal force into entire subjection to Christ” (242).

Third, Paul tells which weapons will be effective to pull the strongholds down: (1) The stronghold of false arguments and diabolical arrogance will be cast down by the knowledge of God, the full Truth (10:5a), exposing the God-given validity of his apostleship and the satanic nature of his enemies (11:13, 12:12). (2) The stronghold of wrong thoughts will be pulled down by bringing every thought into “captivity to the obedience of Christ” (10:5b). (3) Paul will personally punish all disobedience (including that of the false apostles) as soon as the Corinthians have fulfilled their obedience to his apostolic authority (10:6; 12:20-21; 13:2,10).

As we gain understanding of the crucial nature of the war against Paul’s ministry and against the Church at Corinth, we appreciate the power of Truth to overcome Lies. In his comments on 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Matthew Henry has recorded:

What opposition is made against the Gospel, by the powers of sin and Satan in the hearts of men: ignorance, prejudices, beloved lusts, are Satan’s strongholds in the souls of some; vain imaginations, carnal reasonings, and high thoughts, or proud conceits, in others. But then observe, the conquest which the word of God gains. These strongholds are pulled down by the Gospel as the means, through the grace and power of God accompanying it as the principal efficient cause (1090).

The devil’s primary strategy is to disguise his activities so that it appears that someone or something else is to blame. He wants us to get our attention on his surrogates, his instruments, his hindrances and “wrestle” with them, so that our battle will be directed against the “symptoms” instead of the “real source.”

2 CORINTHIANS 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

ROMANS 6:16 “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey.”

JOHN 10:10,11 “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (Abundant Life). I am the good shepherd …”

I. EVERY PERSON HAS STRONGHOLDS

II. CHARACTERISTICS OF STRONGHOLDS:
1. The stronghold exists in the person’s MIND (the stronghold is a lie)
2. The stronghold is deceitfully hidden from the person’s awareness.
3. The stronghold has existed for considerable time.
4. The stronghold has tempted the person to sin repeatedly.
5. The stronghold repeatedly overpowers the person, creating hopelessness.
6. The stronghold has many intellectual and emotional defenses.
7. The stronghold is actively and aggressively opposed to God and His truth.

III. COMPONENTS OF STRONGHOLDS:
1. The Center of the stronghold is the: the Main Lie

(The place where corrupt irrational thought or thoughts is believed to be rational and exalts its self above rational truth and rational reasoning. These thoughts have become high thoughts and therefore carnal reasoning replaces rational thoughts (Mind of God) and thinking about a specific area or areas of rational truth. They have because of deception of carnal thinking become the evil fortifications of the mind against the truth.

2. The castle controls a specific mental location: the Dark Deception
3. The castle is protected by guards: the Lie Defenders:
- Emotional outbursts – Personal attacks
- Mental arguments – Rationalization of behavior
- Past failures – Change the subject
- Peer comparisons (“I’m not as bad as that other person.”)

4. The lie tempts and controls behavior
5. The lie strengthens his kingdom and his control of behavior
6. The lie plants other related strongholds and tries to expand his kingdom


In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

How Is Your Conscience?

How Is Your Conscience?

Everybody has a conscience, the reflective part of the mind it largely has to do with the past, but it can deal with the future in that we may project how we would feel if we do this or that. Mainly the conscience deals with the past. Our conscience is responsible for our joy or lack of joy.

The conscience was designed to be the human’s moral compass that detects the presence of evil. The conscience is as valuable as its training. It must correctly differentiate between good and evil to be of significant value to the person. Becoming a Christian commonly involves retraining a poorly trained conscience. The objective of this training is to make a Christian’s conscience aware of and sensitive to God’s standards and values. The Christian desires to yield to God’s perspectives rather than his/her own.

When a person acts consistently with his/her understanding of right or wrong, the conscience reacts positively. When a person violates his/her understanding of right and wrong, the conscience reacts negatively. Consciences react with no feeling if they are neglected or dead.

In one way the statement, “Let your conscience be your guide,” is correct. In another way, that statement is incorrect. The statement is correct if a person means, “I should be true in my actions to my standards and values.” The statement is incorrect if a person means, “My conscience defines my standards and values.”

The correctness or incorrectness of the statement is determined by one’s understanding of the role of conscience. If the person understands the conscience is reacting to his/her standards and values, the statement is correct. If the person thinks the conscience defines/produces standards and values, he/she is incorrect.

When a person violates his/her understanding of right and wrong, he/she has a “guilty conscience.” The conscience convicts that person of being wrong because he/she violated his/her standards or values. The conscience did not declare the person’s standards and values. The conscience declared a violation of the person’s standards or values.

The American culture has produced an increasingly “feeling” oriented society. A significant standard in determining if an attitude or act is right or wrong, good or bad is how that attitude or act “feels” to the person. Good “feelings” commonly confirms something is right.

Every Christian should be maturing in his/her understanding of God and His purposes. Each Christian is growing in his/her understanding that surrender to God involves much more than “blind obedience” to a religious system or a personal theological perspective. As a result of that understanding, his/her conscience is continually growing and maturing. That growth and understanding often involves growing beyond past positions of conscience. This is not a matter of searing the conscience but of maturing the conscience.

First, right and wrong or good and bad are strictly individual determinations. If it “feels” good then it is good–even if it “feels” bad to others. Thus the cry becomes, “Do not judge me!” which often means do not evaluate my “feelings” by your “feelings.” Many firmly believe there is no absolute right and wrong or absolute good and bad. Everything is both good and bad or right and wrong depending on the circumstances of the individual.

Note the use of “my feelings” to determine right and wrong or good and bad is often a justification of a personal behavior/position. Appealing only to feeling allows the person to focus on personal justification to the exclusion of person evaluation.

Second, if an attitude or action does not violate “my” conscience, it cannot be wrong or bad. Stated in another way, if the attitude or action “feels” good or right then it has to be good or right. In many instances, “feeling” is the ultimate consideration. The “certain proof” something is wrong is a “bad feeling.”

To many American individuals (as frequently is true in other modern societies), the ultimate criteria for determining right or wrong and good and bad is personal feelings. It is rapidly reaching the point that something does not have to “feel good” for it to be right; it just does not have to feel bad. Thus, if “my” conscience does not react against something, it has to be right. This situation creates numerous ironies. One of many illustrations: A person can be so opposed to abortion that he/she classifies it as murder because it takes a life. Yet, he/she can take the life of someone who makes abortion possible, and without “feeling” it is wrong. Thus, by appealing to a powerful feeling, one is justified in his/her own opinion in preventing “murder by abortion” by intentionally “murdering.”

Good choices and decisions come from good standards and values. Godly consciences come from good choices and decisions based on good standards and values. A good choice and a good decision is determined by the results of the choice and decision years later, not by one’s feelings at the moment of the choice or decision. Often choices and decisions of great value do not feel good at the moment of choice. Often choices and decisions of horrible consequence feel wonderful at the moment of choice or decision. The issue often is NOT “how do I feel at the moment of choice,” but what is the continuing result of the choice.

Lesson one: because something “feels” right and good does not make it right and good.

Lesson two: if one’s standards and values are incorrect, his/her conscience will be misguided.

Lesson three: one’s conscience is no more reliable than the standards and values that train his/her conscience.

Lesson four: a conscience is a good conscience only if it is reliably trained by good standards and values.

Lesson five: it is possible to have right motives and wrong understanding at the same moment.

Lesson six: culture’s standards frequently serve as poor standards for training a conscience.

Training a conscience is only to be entrusted to God, the Father of Jesus whom He made Christ. God’s standards and values must become the person’s standards and values. Thus, developing a good and godly conscience is a lifetime journey, not an earthly destiny. As the person spiritually matures in Christ, standards and values constantly undergo development. The conscience constantly changes through development as one’s standards and values mature in Jesus Christ. Developing a godly conscience is a lifetime undertaking.

The feelings of a conscience can be trusted to be right only when a person is certain his/her standards and values are God’s standards and values. As a person matures in God’s ways and priorities, his/her standards and values mature. As standards and values mature, the conscience changes.

The cultural swings in this society in less than one life span are dramatic. We have gone from a society that inhibited emotion to a society that feeds on emotion. In the mid-twentieth century, a woman endured significant social consequences if she had a child outside of marriage. Today there are unmarried men and women who deliberately have a child outside of marriage. In the mid-twentieth century it was not unusual for sexual activity and expression to be repressed even in marriage. Now sexual activity and expression are at least sanctioned and at most encouraged prior to marriage. Alienation in marriages, divorce, single parent homes, blended families, and life styles are much too frequently the result of an individual’s “feelings.”

Within the Bible it is easy to pick out 4 types of conscience. They are:

1. A Seared Conscience

2. An Untrained Conscience

3. A Weak Conscience
4. A Biblical Trained Conscience

1. The Seared Conscience-

The seared conscience is a conscience that has been activated by biblical truth but, is no longer activated by biblical criteria. The conscience has no guilty feelings, see nor see any need for excusing what they do. It is this conscience that blasphemes the Holy Spirit. 1 Tim 4:2
2. The Untrained Conscience-

The untrained conscience has never been activated by biblical truth. Therefore those with untrained consciences do not have or have very few guilt feelings, they don’t make excuses for what they do since they don’t know the biblical way in doing things. The conscience is these folks can be remedied by being taught and trained in biblical truth. This conscience can be easily led to depression by reacting improperly to life’s issues.
Rom 1-3
3. The Weak Conscience-

The weak conscience is activated by non biblical criteria. A weak conscience produces guilt feelings for the wrong reasons. These folks could have good standards they live by but have idols in their heart. They may do things for acceptance by God, to be accepted by the Church, to be loved by mom or dad, or in order to get something from God since that “bargained with Him. This conscience can and often is easily led to depression by reacting improperly to life’s issues.
Rom 14:1,2,23
4. A Biblical Conscience-

These folks have a conscience activated by biblical truth. They have proper guilt feelings for the right reasons when they do wrong and sin. They are in the proper position to handle guilt and problems God’s way. These are the people inthe Church that have grown and are called “spiritual” by the Apostle Paul. (Gal 6:1)
2 Tim 3:16-17, 1 Tim. 1:5

May God grant us to have a biblically functional conscience by then grace, illumination and dynamic power of the Holy Spirit.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Trophy of God’s Grace

Trophy of God’s Grace

I would like to share with you my testimony about how giving my life to Jesus Christ has transformed my life from one of drug addiction and alienation and emptiness to one of spiritual fulfillment, purpose and love for life. I have been coming to this church since October of last year. It has been the most life changing and spiritual times of my entire life. During that time I have met and become friends with so many people here in the body. During that time you have all injected so much life into me and I would like to say thank you for that.

What a lot of you probably do not know is that up until a year ago I was living a drastically different life from the one I am living now. I would like to share with you a little bit about how far God has brought me in less than a year, a deliverance that is nothing short of a miracle. About a year ago I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I found myself serving time in the Baltimore County Detention Center for various offenses that were all the result of a five year heroine addiction.

My addiction to heroine and other hard drugs had its beginnings when I started to smoke pot when I was 12 years old. I experimented with all kinds of drugs in high school. That experimentation escalated to cocaine and heroine in my later years of high school, when pot and drinking just weren’t enough to satisfy me. I started doing drugs to have fun and party but soon I began to do them to fill the emptiness I felt in my life

Through all this time I experienced a string of very serious car accidents that should have taken my life. One of those included being flown home from Senior Week to shock trauma. You would think that practically losing my life over and over would have woken me up but it did nothing to stop my drug use, if anything I just dove into drugs even more. My family kept saying that God must have a major plan for me, because those accidents should have taken my life.

I was very good at hiding my drug use but just after my eighteenth birthday my parents discovered I was using heroine. They sent me to a really exclusive rehab for a month but that didn’t work and I relapsed. I tried to hide my failure from my family but they discovered again that I could not kick my habit. From that time on, I was in and out of rehabs. But none of those rehabs could help me end my addiction to heroine. My family eventually had to cut me off because I was taking advantage of them and they could not trust me. This led me to living on the streets of Baltimore City for almost two years, where I had almost no contact with them.

One of the turning points of my life was on Christmas of 2000. My Uncle Marty, who is a Christian, asked me to go for a walk with him that night. On that walk he asked me if I wanted to receive Jesus Christ into my heart, and told me that this would transform my life. I said no thanks. When I look back now, I realize he planted a seed that eventually led me to my salvation and being here today with a brand new life.

March 30, 2001, I was arrested and sentenced to six months in jail. This was a turning point in my life even though I didn’t know it at the time. My family was obviously devastated by my life and where it was taking me. I know they felt totally helpless after so many attempts to help me. They had tried everything and nothing could help me. I felt just as frustrated but had no hope for my future. I did not want to live that life but my own will was not strong enough. Little did I know that all of these events in my life were all leading up to my family’s salvation and my salvation. God truly did have a plan, not only for me but for my whole family.

My father’s doctor, Dr. Larry Boas, knew of my struggle with beating my drug addiction. He mentioned to my father that his neighbor, Pastor Teddy Awad, had had success with healing drug addictions. My father was willing to try anything and so he arranged with the Detention Center, so that Teddy was able to meet with me and Dr. Larry Boas in private. I met Teddy in May – when they both came to visit me in jail. That is where Teddy, shared the gospel of Grace with me. It was there that I asked Jesus into my heart and was saved.

Up until that point I had never had hope for my future. I was basically living day to day, trying to survive. I knew that as much as I wanted to get better, none of my own efforts could turn my life around. It was not until I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ that I experienced hope for my life and for the first time things were falling into place for me. I clung to 2 Corinthians 5:17 for months until I finally started to love myself. I read this verse at least once a day.

Pastor Teddy was so faithful to visit me – bringing me a Bible and different booklets to read each week. During the time I was in jail, my dad, my sister Jen, and my stepmother Patty all accepted Christ, and began to visit me in jail and share with me their brand new life. They encouraged me and gave me hope for my future and told me how wonderful church was, what a wonderful new life they were all experiencing. God was showing me through all this that I truly could have a new life and that I did not have to see my self as an addict anymore. My life was new and fresh and the past was gone because of Jesus dying on the cross for me.

Teddy and his family and all the new people I met in church loved me and accepted me for who I am in Christ and did not judge me or make me feel like I was less of a person, because they did not judge me on my past. I learned immediately that I could have fun and become fulfilled and have a new life. I learned that Christ is the only one who could fill the emptiness of my soul, an emptiness that I had been trying to fill all those years with drugs and alcohol. The amazing thing is that God used my situation to give my whole family their salvation, and knit our whole family into the body of Christ. He has given us all brand new lives and hope for our life though getting to know Him. I also know God wants to use me to help others in my situation, because I have experienced that God only, can heal them like He healed me.

I would like to thank this church for having the vision and assurance to see that Christ could heal me. I would like to thank Pastor Teddy and his family who eventually made room for me at their home and continued to teach me Christ on a daily basis through Grace. My best friend through this all has been my father and he still is today. I would like to thank my mother, my stepmother Patty, and my sisters Jen and Beth for never giving up on me and for giving me support and encouragement. I would most of all like to thank God for a brand new life that is full of possibilities. Thank you for showing me that only by surrendering to Christ, can I truly experience life.

In Christ,

Clark

What do I get at the party?

What do I get at the party?

Psalm 40:8,MSG ‘And I’m coming to the party you’re throwing for me.” That’s when God’s Word entered my life, became part of my very being.’

How would you describe the process by which you find and do the God’s will in your life?

For some, finding it is like playing bumper cars! We keep going in one direction until we bump into an obstacle, turn, and go in another direction. It’s a constant process of elimination, failure and success. Is this the way God would have us get to know Him? NO…!

The process seems to be more like a mighty flowing river (example of Mississippi, St. Louis vs. N.O.), which travels speedily along its course. By the way, it follows the path of least resistance, making it less something that requires effort and more something we do have to trust and hold on if we’re going to stick with the image of riding. As it travels speedily in some places and more calmly in others there are some rapids, rock hazards, and a big waterfall or two. Finally, it either ends up at the ocean, which has its own set of issues and stories we could tell, and can be a picture of going from faith to faith, or it ends creating a pristine, gorgeous mountain lake. In any case its like in Ezekiel 47, the image is of a mighty river and a man of God being challenged to go deeper into that river. As he passes through each trial of life he faces, it seems he’s standing in deeper waters as he continues on his trek.

No matter what the image you follow, the key is to stay on the ride, don’t be afraid to put your hands outside of the vehicle (in this case you won’t lose a body part, only your life) and hopefully take in the view of what God has planned for you, with joy in the adventure.

Jeremiah 33:3, MSG ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’


Pastor John Bilowith

Fellowship Bible Church

47 Milton Street
Dedham, MA 02026
(781) 326-3033

http://www.fellowshipindedham.org/

Friendships are made, not born!

Friendships are made, not born!

John 15:15

“I have called you friends.”

Christ Himself is our model. He reaches out to us and offers us more than just friendship. He offers us eternal life with Him. He is always there for us and forgives us endlessly. He knows us inside and out and loves us anyway. We are all born into a family, but we grow into friendships. Members of your family may be your best friends. But if they are, I suspect it’s more a matter of spirit than of blood. Friends are a priceless gift from God. According to the dictionary, a friend is one person linked to another by esteem, respect, or affection. One of the advantages of having friends with whom we can have deep conversations about things that matter is the opportunity to discuss each other’s beliefs and doubts.

Developing New Friends:

1. Show a real interest in the lives of others. This means asking questions and really caring about their lives, not just your own.

2. Go out on a limb. Invite someone you’d like to know to do something with you.

3. Don’t give up too easily. If someone doesn’t immediately jump at the chance to build a friendship, be patient. Some people need a little more time.

4. Talk to God about your desire for friends. Ask Him to help you find good friends.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”

Nothing is more DELIGHTFUL in this world than a TRUE FRIEND, that is wise and GOOD, that KINDLY receives and returns our AFFECTION, and is FAITHFUL to us in all our true INTERESTS.

1. THERE ARE ONLY A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS

A. (Proverbs 18:24) “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and

there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

We live in a covenant with all believers in the [kingdom of God], but

with some we are particularly tied together thru the Holy Spirit.

B. Look at Jesus’ example:

He has His TWELVE

His THREE – Peter, James & John

And His ONE: John

This is not exclusion but is the only way to

PRAC

TISE FRIENDSHIP.

2. A FRIEND GIVES HIS LIFE

A. (John 15:13) “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay

down his life for his friends.”

‘To lay down one’s life’ also means THE READINESS TO PUT ONESELF BACK TO SERVE THE OTHER PERSON, instead of putting the other one back to serve one’s self. It is THE READINESS TO TAKE THE NEEDS OF THE FRIEND MORE SERIOUSLY than your own.

B. Think of John the Baptist: “He that hath the bride is the bridegroom:

but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him,

rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice: this my joy

therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.”

(John 3:29-30)

3. A FRIEND KNOWS YOU DEEPLY

A. (John 15:15) “Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant

knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you

friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made

known unto you.”

A friend is SOMEONE IN FRONT OF WHOM YOU CAN BE TOTALLY SURE, take of your mask, and SLOWLY GET CLOSER TO THEM – BE YOUR OWN SELF. This TAKES TIME and is also RISKY.

4. A FRIEND LOVES WITHOUT CONDITIONS

A. (Proverbs 17:17) “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is

born for adversity.”

No strings attached. No qualifications, nor existing circumstances,

5. A FRIEND GIVES YOU GOOD ADVICE

A. (Proverbs 27:9) “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the

sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.”

Another characteristic of a friend, is to hear the voice of God with you:

‘I have not got a clear guideline for you in this matter, so therefore

let us pray together about this.’

6. A FRIEND SPEAKS THE TRUTH IN LOVE

A. (Proverbs 27:6) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the

kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

The Bible tells us to “walk in the light” to have real “fellowship” with

each other (I John 1:7).

We ALL NEED somebody with enough LOVE for us to tell us the TRUTH about ourselves.

Not only what we WANT TO HEAR, but also what we SHOULD HEAR as well.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship

one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from

all sin.” (I John 1:7)

7. A FRIEND ENCOURAGES YOU

A. (Job 6:14) “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his

friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty.”

Job NEEDED MORE than what his own wife gave him: “curse God, and die.”

Nice sympathy, wasn’t it?

We ALL NEED ENCOURAGEMENT, confirmation and SUPPORT in our Christian lives.

8. A FRIEND ALSO DOES NOT FEAR A CLASH WITH YOU

A. (Proverbs 27:17) “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the

countenance of his friend.”

clash = conflict, hostile encounter

CLASHES cannot be avoided in such CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS.

B. The DURABILITY of a FRIENDSHIP will be TESTED; it will be SEEN IF it is

REALLY WELDED TOGETHER WITH the LOVE OF CHRIST.

We

then have the CHOICE of either

1. DRAWING BACK FROM BEING OFFENDED, or

2. REBUKING that FRIEND, or

3. SOLVING the CONFLICT IN LOVE.

9. A FRIEND IS DELICATE

A. (Proverbs 26:18-19) “(18)As a mad man who casteth firebrands,

arrows, and death, (19)So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and

saith, Am not I in sport?”

Firebrands = flames, sparks

Deceiveth = mislead, delude, dupe, fool

B. To put it simply, a FRIEND is AWARE of your SENSITIVE areas.

They REFRAIN from SARCASM, MEAN JOKES and EXPOSURES.

10. A FRIEND IS LOYAL

A. (Proverbs 16:28b) “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer

separateth chief friends.”

chief friends = best friends

B. (Proverbs 17:9b) “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he

That repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”

very friends = true friends

In the hour of BETRAYAL, with RUMOURS and ACCUSATIONS, it will be OBVIOUS who REALLY STANDS BY US.

Would you like to HAVE FRIENDS who SHOW these CHARACTERISTICS?

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Wounded Heart of Shame

Wounded Heart of Shame


Shame Synonyms:
humiliate reject neglect
ridicule disrespect abandon
dishonor slight demean
insult taunt put down
beat abuse punish
hurt loss of face soul-murder
worthless prejudice racism
numb dead cold
hell joyless suffering
poverty
Antonyms:
pride confidence dignity
self-esteem self-respect self-love
malama bood

Isa. 42:17,44:9-11- The 3 elements of shame: exposure, revelation and consequences involves the element of trust as well. Trust is giving up our soul to another with the hope we will not be harmfully used. This power we give to another is the power to determine whether or not we are acceptable and desirable which empowers another to determine whether I am acceptable or not.

This can be misconstrued and becomes idolatry which is placing our longings to another for which only God can provide, putting this longing in the hands of a creature rather than our Creator.

Shame or folly comes about when our false god fails to meet our needs and heal our wounds, then we begin to rely on our own strength rather than on God or anyone else. All of this represents illegitimate shame.

Legitimate shame is when we acknowledge God, God is the One who determines our acceptability. Thus, legitimate shame is facing our failure to trust in God. Trusting God means relying on Him to keep our body or our world intact and to maintain the intactness of our soul. Shame of the flesh tries to deflect sin through contempt and blame shifting as with Adam and Eve.

Contempt/Deflection:
The enemy is ultimately the evil one, and the path to Satan’s vision is rebellion or autonomy, or in other words, sin. Self-contempt and other-centered contempt is a mean by which we maintain a
semblance of control over our lives that protects one from dependence on God, and this keeps one from dealing with the problem of sin and God is the only One Who can deal with sin, the flaw of our fallen nature.

Functions of Contempt
Ps. 1:1-3 -To deal with this problem requires more than behavioral change. The issue here is sin, salvation and sanctification. Contempt serves us in 4 ways:it diminishes our shame, it deadens our longings, it makes us feel in control, and it distorts the real problem. Self-contempt is satan’s counterfeit for conviction of sin. All abuse is a violation of the sanctity and wholeness of the human soul.

Prerequisites for Growth:
To move toward loving God we begin to alter the process of self-centered stagnation and decay.

John 12:24-25 -Trusting in God involves the loss of our agenda, so that we die to our inclination to live a lie. We forfeit our rigid, self-protective, God dishonoring ways of relating in order to live life as it is meant to be lived. In order to love God’s way, we must both honor the dignity and expose the depravity of the person with whom we are in relationship.

Honesty
Heb. 2:10, 5:8-9 – Real life requires death. Death involves the experience of suffering. Suffering is required for growth. Christ’s sufferings was in bearing the disgrae and shame of the Cross. As we take up His cross, we can then really see what we are meant to be. The purpose of regaining memories is removal of denial, reclamation of the self, and a movement toward real change.

Ps. 139:23-24-Reclaiming the past is a lifelong endeavor.

Repentance:
Repentance is an about-face movement in the mind from denial, rebellion to truth, and surrender from death to life. Repentance is an internal shift in our perceived source of life, and it involves the response of humble hunger, bold movement, and wild celebration when faced with the reality of our fallen state and the grace of God. This leads us toward coming alive for the explicit purpose of having more to give to others for their well-being and to God for His glory.

In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net

Christian Counselor

As a Christian Counselor

As a Christian Counselor, I base my philosophy of counseling on the passage in Romans that tells us how to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds”.
How do we do this?

Philipians 4 tells us to
1)not be anxious, but to take our requests to God,
2)focus our minds on positive things,
3) learn to be content in life, and
4) praise God for everything.

God then promises us
1) he will guard our heart and minds,
2) He will give us strength for the task,
3) He will give us peace.

To transfer this head knowledge of the scriptures to heart knowledge we need to put these things into practice. Often our relationship with God has been distorted by many of life’s circumstances. I want to help my clients see the truth about God as He reveals himself in scripture. Furthermore, it is my hope that as God see you through your suffering He will heal you and use you to bring honor and glory to Himself and to use you according to his good purposes.

You might ask, “What if I don’t want any of that religious stuff?” I can assure you, you will not get any preaching or sermons unless you ask direct questions about the spiritual side of an issue. I will meet you where you are at in your spiritual journey.
I believe that everyone needs a little help from time to time in this journey of life. I try to learn form everything that happens to me in life. I believe God is using me in His work to bring help and hope to people He brings to my office. I am a trained professional clinician and provide scripturally sound counseling in a safe, non-judgmental and respectful environment.

Differences between Christian / Biblical Coaching and Secular Coaching

There are many differences but primary is the underlying foundation. Secular coaching is humanistic and relies on the client’s self-imposed goals. Christian coaching is Christ-centered. Within Christian coaching, there is a three-way relationship between client, coach and Holy Spirit. Secular coaching involves a two-way relationship between coach and client. Many Christian coaches have found it frustrating to work with secular programs and secularly accredited Christian programs because of the high infiltration of new age philosophies. You won’t find that here at Young Adult Crisis Hotline. The bible distinctly tells us to seek only the counsel of other Christians. It is important to note though, that while we offer Christian Coach training and certification, the techniques learned are also applicable with secular clients. Seek Him first and God will lead those to you, who need what you have to offer.


In His Grace Forever,
Pastor Teddy Awad, CMHP
Young Adult Crisis Hotline
and Biblical Counseling Center
410-808-6483
theodoreawadjr@comcast.net
http://yacrisishotline.tripod.com/
http://youngadultcrisishotline.blogspot.com/
youngadultcrisishotline@comcast.net

Why are Young Adults leaving the church?

Why are Young Adults leaving the church?

“Americans in their twenties are significantly less likely than any other age group to attend church.”

86% of the Young Adults in the evangelical church leave at age 18 and ever come back. Thisfigure sounds incredibly high to me but even if it is in actuality, only a fraction ofthat amount it still shows there is a real problem in the Church today.

“These statistics suggest that the church is heading toward extinction.”

If churches do not “modify the approaches they use to influence the faith development” of this group, teens who grow up to be young adults will be “the least churched generation.”

A new study from LifeWay Research shows that more than two-thirds of young adults who attend a Protestant church in high school will drop out of church for at least a year before their 22nd birthday.

More than 1,000 adults (ages 18-30) were questioned for the survey. Each said they had attended a Protestant church for at least a year while in high school. But 97 percent of those surveyed listed one or more reasons for becoming what LifeWay refers to as a church “dropout.” For example, 27 percent of those individuals said they left church because they wanted “a break from church.”
Other reasons cited for keeping them from attending church included: the transition to college (25%), increased work responsibilities (23%), “too busy, though still wanted to attend” (22%), moved too far away from the church they had been attending (22%), and wanted to spend more time with friends from outside the church (17%).

Gone are the days when young adults attended church because they’re “supposed to,” said Scott McConnell, associate director of LifeWay Research.

New research has confirmed speculation that young adults are leaving the church in droves.

LifeWay Research released study results that showed that more than two-thirds of young adults who attend a Protestant church stopped attending church regularly (at least twice a month) for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22.

While many do return and attend church at least “sporadically,” 34 percent said they had not returned by age 30.

“Lots of alarming numbers have been tossed around regarding church dropouts,” said Ed Stetzer, director of LifeWay Research, the research arm of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention, in the study. “We wanted to get at the real situation with clear research – and there is some bad news here, no question. But, there are also some important solutions to be found in the research.

When we know why people drop out, we can address how to help better connect them.”

Most of the young adults who stopped attending church had not planned in advance on quitting the church. Only 20 percent of the church dropouts said that while attending church in high school, they planned on taking a break from church once they finished high school.

Almost all church dropouts were related to life changes. The top reason in this category young adults listed was “I simply wanted a break from church” (27 percent).
Transitioning into college was also a major reason for quitting church (25 percent); 23 percent said “work responsibilities prevented me from attending;” and 22 percent said they “moved too far away from the church to continue attending.”
“It seems the teen years are like a free trial on a product. By 18, when it’s their choice whether to buy in to church life, many don’t feel engaged and welcome,” said McConnell, according to USA Today.

“When life changes, reshuffle priorities and time in young adults’ lives, church doesn’t make it back on that list for a lot of them and I think that maybe tells us where we’ve prioritized those things,” commented Stetzer in a LifeWay podcast.
Two out of three young adults reported attending church at least twice a month through the age of 16. The percentage drops sharply at ages 17, 18, and 19, with only 31 percent attending at age 19. And attendance remains low through age 22. Attendance rises slowly afterward.

Although some still wanted to attend church, 22 percent said they “became too busy” and 17 percent “chose to spend more time with friends outside the church.”
More than half (52 percent) said “religious, ethical or po